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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 1, 1912)
THE BEE: OMAHA, THURSDAY, AUGUST 1, 1912. f THE OMAHA DAILY BEE yOUNPED BY EDWARD ROSE WATER VICTOR ROSEWATER, EDITOR I BEE BUILDING. FARXAM AND 17TH. I Entered at Omaha Postofftce as second- 1 class mattgr. ', ' TERMS- CF SUBSCRIPTION. Sunday Bee, one year - v ' Saturday Bee. one year " Dally Bee (without Sunday) one year W W Dally Bee and Sunday, one year. .... w DELIVERED BY CARRU'.R. Evening Bee iwith Sunday), per mo..zsc ' Dally Bee (including Sunday), per m0--?? Daily Bee - without Sunday), P,,"10;; . Address ail complaints or Irregularities - In delivery to City Circulation Dept. 1 vii-irc Remit by draft, express or Postal order, payable to The Bee Publishing J; Only 2-cent stamps received in Payment of small accounts. Personal checm, ex eept on Omaha and eastern exchange, rot accepted. 1 " ; OFFICES. ! Omaha-The Bee building. South Omaha-2318 NT St. i Council B'.uffs-75 Scott S LincoIn-26 Little building. - Chicago 1041 Marquette building. ; Kansas City-Reliance building. 1 New Yorlt-M Wesjt Thirty-third. Washington-: Fourteenth St.. . w. f CORRESPONDENCE. Communications relating to news ana djtorial matter should be aaaresseo Omaha Bee. . Editorial Department. , 4 JUNE CIRCULATION. 48,945 State of Nebraska, Cojunty of Pouglas. ssj ' K P. Fell, business manager of The Bee Publishing company, being duly sworn, says that the -average dally cir culation for the'monttt ot 'June, Wit, was 48.M5. N.. P.' FEIL. Business Manager, i Subscribed 1ft my presence and sworn to before me this 9ih day of July, 1911' , (Seal.) . ,. ROBEB.T HUNTER, . ; ! - Notary public. . Sabcrllter leatintf the ' city ! temuornrilr should r have , Th 'Bee mailed ' to them; Addr j will be chanced as ' often mm re- . ' nested.. ' i'.;'. I t The steel hammer Is, certainly an i Improvement oi the ateara roller,' I Bet you $1,000 Is more than Mr. Bryan gave to the Parker campaign. y i , ! . The story 6f the second Battle. of Grand Island reads 'differently than the first. ' j ?.- : "V ; , r i Whafa that? Charges oloffficial j graft in South Omaha? Impossible! j Perish the thought! i : It seems that Kansas City's base ( balj team .went up- in one- of those 'balloons at the big competition. ' If the weather man will now do , his duty, Nebraska. wW top aU rec- )' ords with its crop figures this year. 'I am not insane,", persists Marry I Thaw. ' Oh. yes you are. get back in ? itnni " rat rTt a i xnn nit Vi raa sUnn. ists. " " ' Unbiased Judges now declare that no one knows how Pennsylvania is going in November. Is Boss linn losing his horns? , f .- ,'.:.' ) ' , . iv. Coupling the demand for a short ballot with a, demand for making 'more offices' elective must strike' one as a trifle Inconsistent. It was Smith day at Sea Girt when ' senators of that unfamiliar name from Arizona- and South Carolina called on the governor. - ' Hazel Yeast and Chester K. Yeast ' of Good Hope, 111., have recetly mar ried. .Anything more auspicious for the rising generation? ' 1 To the MiBSOurian who asks to' be shown quickest, way qf increasing his rotundity we would suggest dried apples and water. That witness asked by; a,cross-ex-j aminlng . Omaha lawyer to explain i what he meant by the game of poker (had a right to take it as a personal laffront. ' Circumstances altering cases the most that a democratic. paper in Texaa has to do is to urge that the j candidate' taajoflty be -made -lm ipresslve. It is plain that there are no exclu- slve patent rights on steam rollers telse two of them could not be oper ating simultaneously at Grand Island land Lincoln. '' IV ilT V-", "'' News of a stage coach robbery In California suggests that progressive jgbvernment; has. not entirely up J rooted the old traditional and time honored institutions. ' The endorsement of the course of iMr. Bryan at Baltimore is substantial condemnation1 of the coarse of Ne braska's democratic senator at Baltimore-; Let It go at that ' vThe proletariat must not be blamed if he gets swelled up with an exaggerated idea of it own wis dom, for politicians playing to the gallery have given it ample cause. Nebraska republicans should not Judge Governor Aldrich too hastily. He may soon turn another of his fa mous political somersaults, and be as regular as any of us before elec tion. : ' ; , . -. Every visitor to Omaha remarks upon the unusual building activity everywhere observable. Seeing con vinces all of Omaha's assured future growth and makes boosters out . of knockers. Deacon, Hemphill reports to the New York 'Times that "everything ott. a ,. political sort . Is dreadfully mussed up in Pennsylvania?' Yes, Will' the deacon kindly direct our attention to. a state, or community where that Is net the case just now? The Numerous Conventions. Our primary election law provides that all political parties entitled to places on the official ballot in Ne braska shall hold their state plat form conventions on the same day. These conventions have now been held by all the parties with the ex ception of the socialists, who promul gated an advance platform several months ago. Of the two conventions, each claim ing to be republican, one in reality represents the forthcoming bull moose party, and will, we have no doubt, eventually be absorbed tem porarily into the new third party. As a matter of fact if we are to have various presidential tickets on the of ficial ballot, there is no reason why the supporters of these different can didates should not be accorded full and free opportunity to vote for their preferred choice and be protected against deception by false labels. That is all the supported of the re publican standard-bearers have been demanding, and that is what the ad vocates of the third party ticket will themselves shortly be seeking. . The democratic covention at Grand island turns out to be a lovefeast for MrBryan in violent contrast to the convention held there two years ago, which 'excoriated and humiliated that distinguished democrat, who now again rises supreme in the con trol of his party. : The so-called populist convention at Aurora proves simply a repetition of the Jake form kept up by demo cratic roaequeraders for trading pur poses only. , The prohibition convention pro claims fanatical devotion to a prin ciple that is theoretical only. ' New York'i Police Scandal. Every good influence in New York should be invoked in the ferret ing' out of the facts "in the Rosenthal murder case, to the end that the hu man jackals, who, if half that is al leged be true, prey . upon life for their living, may be brought to jus tice and the city redeemed from wh,at appears to be the most astounding system of graft and rapacity ever re vealed in this country.- New York is confronted by a sol emn duty.. It muBt get to the bot tom and clean out this frightful abyss of crime. It should make such an example of the culprits as to deal an effective blow to similar attempts at organized graft there or elsewhere lri the land. This is not a local atrocity; it is a crime in which every city and every decent public servant, must feel a separate concern. Time to Check Orozco. Promptly and vigorously the ad ministration : has 1 met - the audacity and defiance of the Mexican rebel leader with a warning which he will do well to consider. ' Orozco seems to have ventured a challenge of bur pa tience and self-respect in hi ulti matum that from now on Americans who remain in Mexico do so at the peril of their ' lives, for which he promises not to be careful. Orozco, beaten at every .turn by. the federal forces, may still be able to harass and defy - the Madero government with his guerilla warfare, but if be is half as shrewd as the leader of banditti should be, he. will not carry out his threat of deliberate menace to Americans. ' The time has come to put an end to this border war and repress Or ozco. .Washington has. served notice on Madero that it expects him to perform the task. If he cannot and American citizens continue to suffer at the hands of Mexico's outlaws, then, of course, the American govern ment will be compelled to act upon the aggressive. It has displayed a forbearance from the first that leaves nothing to be asked by our neighbor ing country. It cannot afford to per sist in this forbearance indefinitely. Duty Well Done. The regular republican state con vention adopted a resolution of thanks to lion. John L.' Kennedy, re tiring chairman of the state commit tee for faithful and efficient perfor mance of the duties devolving upon him In that capacity. . In taking the' management of the state campaign a year ago, Mr. Ken nedy was confronted with & difficult task.. It was for him to keep to gether and unite for the republican ticket the votes of the factions then already : showing tendencies to di verge. Mr. Kennedy succeeded so well in this direction that the repub lican state ticket was victorious by an average majority of 10,000. For his efforts directed toward holding the party Intact and in lino with the national organization, Mr. Kennedy is entitled to credit as well as thanks. The only wonder 1b that, our democratic senator from Nebraska did not pull out that "broadaxe for monopoly" at the Baltimore conven tion and have it inserted in the democraic national platform. Per haps he feared to submit it to the platform makers lest it should be prejudiced by its authorship with Mr. Bryan, who wrote the platform. . Not a day passes without reports of auto accidents in and about Omaha with more or less serious casualties resulting. In nine cases out of ten the cause is either reckless or incom petent driving, Prevention is better than cure. EEAL BREAK IN COST OF LIVING ' Seep Significance Behind Late Downward Trend. New York Financial World. At last there has been a real break in the cout of living burdens which have borne so heavily on the American people for so many years. The first signs come Irom the west, where there naa been a veritable panic smash In the cost of aU vegetables. This is due largely to the vastly larger crops of potatoes, and gar den stuff of all sorts, Including small fruits. Sugar is down from 1H to 1 cents per pound below the season's high price, butter is 5 to S rents per pound cheaper, flour is off 59 to 75 cents per barrel, po tatoes have crashed from $- per bushel to 75 rents, and a Chicago dlspateh says that consuming interests are huying very sparingly of packing house products be cause of the brighter prospects for much lower prices for .live stock the balance of the year. The bright outlook for corn is itnother factor making for eagerness on the part of shippers to get rid of their holdings before the expected break come. The fact is not to be lost sight of also DEFECTION FROM Early Manifestations of Springfield (Mass.) Republican. These defections of bull moosers from the colonel, after watching him for a solid month since "fraud" triumphed at Chicago, are simply the last word In treason to Teddy and the moral law. So one has been more valued as a supporter of the, progressive cause In all of its Rooseveltian manifestations than Edwin O. Sims of Chicago, who helped to start the Koosevelt primary campaign in Illinois, and . who until yesterday had served as the secretary oi .the national provisional committee of the third party. Mr. Sims Is out of It. Ho, condemns the moose performance of 'running a state ticket against Governor Deneen of Illi nois. "Why should we back good men In an effort to clean up Illinois state and then 'throw' theml Governor Deneen and his administration have been efficient and progiesslve. I Intend to stay regular as regards the atato and county tickets." And there Is the pathetic case of Walter Batchclder of Vermont. Quite as villainous Is his treason, to , the causa as Mr. Sims', still the element of per sonal tragedy In the case of Mr. Batch elder arouses some degree of sympathy for his sad fate.; The breafi between him and his colonel, f6r the Vermonter was a member of "my reglmant" In the dark eft days of the war known as "Alone in Cuba," came when Mr. Batcholder re-; celved fom Oyster Bay a dispatch say ing: "We cannot Indorse any candidates of either party who will not . support COMPETITION IN ENDOWMENT FUNDS Monopoly of Rockefeller, Carnegie and Company in Danger. St. Louis Globe-Democrat. Thomas V. Phillips, an Independent oil refiner of Pennsylvania,, has left $35,000 to Oklahoma Christian university with the stipulation that. If it la accepted, tho Institution shall . never solicit er accept funds from John T, Rockefeller or any funds established or endowed by him. If, after the acceptance of the Phllllpa be quest, this condition Is evaded In any way, 1 the money Is to be recovered by action at law. Several, similar bequests are made 16 the Phillips will, which Waa filed for probate at Newcastle the other day. . This Is a new form of competition In a field ot which Mr. Rockefeller, Mr. Car negie and a few other men of great wealth have long been thought to hold a monopoly, it has been a monopoly which the Independent competitors have made smaller effort to end than they iiave to end the Oil trust,, the Steel trust, or any of the other trusts out of which Rockefeller, Carnegie and the other few POLITICAL SNAPSHOTS. Indianapolis News. Well. well, and nov they say they'v caught the Detroit alder men taking bribes. Really, detecuves are becoming tso active that a legislator, municipal, state or national, is hardly safe in making any kind of negotiations In tha interest of personal prosperity. Brooklyn Eagle: After all La Follette is the original progressive. But he Is hopelessly old fashioned In believing that nrtv hnuse-cleaninx can ba carried on from: the inside without smaahlng the windows, splitting up the furniture and generally wrecking tha premises. Baltimore American: Party line prom ise to be badly split In the November election. Radical republicans and demo crats will have to choose between Roose velt and-Wilson: conservatives and all those who believe In policies to promote the prosperity of the country have no alternative to voting for Taft. U would not be surprising, therefore, were Presi dent Taft to receive a larger popular vote than at the last election. Springfield (Mass) Republican: Th subject of a minimum wage for women and minors in Industry, which Mr. Roose velt now proposes to Include In his pro gram. Is nothing startling for "con servative" Massachusetts to consider. W have been In advance, ot tha colonel in this matter, while under the rule also of the republican party which he denounces as an Impossible agent and vehicle of re form. A Massachusetts state commission reported favorably on the minimum wage last year and the legislature at Its last session had it under serious consideration. But how can the colonel make such a question a national issue? It is a state Issue. He Is running for the presidency and a third term. Does he propose, If elected president again, to blot out the states entirely? MOVB IS RIGHT DIRECTION. Lesar Check for Basiaeaa of Fain Promoters. Des Moines Register and Leader. The insurance commissioners of the various states at their national confer ence agreed to draw up for each stats a law similar to that In Kansas, which will put the seller of "blue sky" out of busi ness. While the Insurance commissioners are primarily interested In putting an end to the selling of worthless insurance stock, they agreed that the "blue sky" law should extend to all sorts of cor porations which offer stock to the pub lic. This is a step in the right direc tion. While people are wont to poks fun at many of the satutes in tha law books of Kansas, the "blue sky" law, which is designed to put an end to the shyster who buncoes the innocent Into buying bogus stock. Is worthy of emulation In every state In the unlenn. The legislature should waste no time in passing a measure ot this sort. that steel products show no great activity at the slightly risen prices and that the artificial rise In copper and tin have re sulted fn burning the fingers of many speculators. The reaction from the high prices evil Is In full swing. The rapid exhaustion of th biying power of the great masses of the public has been quite as much of a factor In bringing down prices as have the larger crops. Syndicates may warehouse food supplies, keeping them for a certain length of time In cold storage and force the public to pay exorbitant prices, but the time Inevitably arrives when the peo ple, exploited to the limit through sheer necessity, and exhaustion of ability to buy freely, cut down their buying orders and the cold storage people begin to do the worrying. Then they commence to sell for what they can get, irrespective of whether further supplies are great or small. If, as secnta to be the case at present, the supplies outside syndicate control are . becoming larger and larger, so much the worse for the food cornerers. BULL MOOSE HEED the Sober Se cond Thought Boosevelt electors In the coming elec tion.". The terrible truth. came as In a blind ing flash. T. R. was working for T. R. No candidate for tho humblest office In this broad land, however excellent might be his qualifications, could be Indorsed unless he would work for the colonel's third term. Latkaday! Mr. Batchelder replied: "I was a member of your regiment In 1898. For fourteen years I have felt more affection for you than for any other person on earth except the members of my own Immediate family. It Is a ter rible wrench, colonel, but" I cannot fool myself and I must be straightforward and frank with you as you know I al ways have been. With grief, the depth of which you cannot know. I have de cided, after one of the hardest fights I havV ever been forced to put up, that I cannot longer support you for presi dent of the United States." The colonel will say that these men lack "the burning leal of.the crusader." They are "soft" in fiber. They have no "sand." Tet the truth seems to be that they ' have at last discovered the real colonel.' He sacrifices- a good republican governor like Deneen In order to lure democrats Into supporting him for presi dent. He sanctions any arrangement that will get him electoral votes. It hv an awful Tevelatlon, yet the lost bull mooser In Vermont has learned, never to forget, that the new party is for ' Theodore Roosevelt only. men in the monopoly have been drawing their funds for donations. And how com petition from the independent competi tors comes in a .way making it impossi ble for all who deal with the opposition to have any dealings with the Rockefeller funds. It ts possible that this form of competition may not really give Mr. Rockefeller as much trouble as the court decision Is giving, or can be made to give him. If such wills should become at all the vogue, they may in fact give Mr. Rockefeller increased opportunities for getting rid of his surplus ' funds. The directors of institutions getting these be quests with strings attached, may call the attention of Mr. Rockefeller to their dif ficulties and advise him, in delicate ways, that they are being made, objects of restraint In trade and commerce. Such an appeal to such a man could not fail to bring him forward' with a bequest so much larger than the other that the di rectors would see their way clear. The endowment and donation monopoly Is not yet broken. GOODNESS OP UN-WED SISTER. The Old Matd a I'sefal Feature of Modern Life. New York Sun. . The answer to the. silly sermon of a Colorado preacher against "old maids, ' to which some one forged the signature of Miss Helen Gould, is sound and sen sible. Even If the published letter Is a forgery or a literary exercise, Its senti ments are correct and of a kind that needs to be expressed for the confusion of the foolish. , How much ot the sum of generosity, un selfishness, the noblest and most be neficent virtues and services comes from women by choice or fate unmarried? They lavish their hearts and lives upon their relatives, their friends, the public, upon a thousand works of charity, edu cation, religion, humanity. Many of them, a large modern class, don't want to marry, or fall to find the predestined he; many have to work for themselves; no doubt, many of them have to lead lonely and narrow lives, but they brighten them and those of others with good deeds and words. What liar at once and slave invented the idea or name of "sour old maids"? They are among the most charming, the most sympathetic and the wittiest ot women. Watching or reading of so many domestio brabblings and battling: some folks may cynically assert that per haps these attaching unattached axe also among the wisest. IOWA'S SILLY "SECOND IDEA." Snorts of the Ball Moosers for Federal Pie. Chicago Record-Herald. Several years ago the country rang with "the Iowa idea" as to tariff rates and their relation to trust abuses. Now the Iowa ex-republican "progressives" have broached a new idea the popular election of postmasters. This is the Iowa third party contribu tion to the bull moose platform. It ex cited great enthusiasm in the conven tion, and met with no opposition. The reports do not even say, In brackets, "laughter." Well, the opposition will not be long in coming. Mr. Roosevelt is a short ballot advocate, and unless the 'Iowa platform changes his own Ideas the Iowa Idea will have a very short run. It Is. of course, childish and absurd. The really progressive Idea ts extension of the merit principle to the postmasters of every class save the first, perhaps, and the appointment of first-class post masters by an efficient, independent head of the department without reference to any consideration save fitness. Popular election would make for inefficiency, spoils, "local independence'" and demodu lation. It would be "profoundly re actionary." Are spoilsmen and re actionaries already invading . the third party? coking Backward TBibDay inOmaha COMPILED FROM EKE TILCO AUGUST 1. Thirtj Years Ago At the city council meeting The Bee was again made the official newspaper for city printing for the coming year. Fire Chief Butler announces that cttl- zens have subscribed $505 toward the erec tion of a hose house between Farnam and Douglas on the site of the old Pioneer hose house, and the council Is asked to appropriate M.OOO, which will enable the department to build a two-story brick house. Hon. William F. Cody, who, as "Buffalo Bill" is more familiar to the public on a postage stamp, arrived from Denver on his way to Fort Lander, where he Is on his way to secure the services of Sitting Bull for his troupe this coming season. , The St. George's society picnic at Hans- com park was a grand success. W. H. Carlton, the president, delivered an ad dress. Messrs. Johnson, Langer and Tay lor made short talks and entertainment. musical and otherwise, was furnished by the Misses Stevens, Mr. W. Stevens, Mr. Tremaln, Mr. Ed J Hadrill, Messrs Roth well, J. Bonner, : Dove and Lidsey, Mrs. Parker, Mrs. James Latey, W. O. San ders, Mr. W. J. Broadbent, Messrs. Bal- Iinger, Mldgley and Powell and the Misses Etta Bonner and Nellie Stevens. Secretary of War Lincoln and General Phil Sheridan are expected tomorrow en route to the Yellowstone. L. C. Enewold, the Thirteenth street dry goods man, has commenced grading his lot on St. Mary's avenue for the erection of a store building two stories high. George Redman, living out on Sherman avenue sold his fine dapple gray horse, "Lion," to the Cole Bros.' circus for $200, which Is a remarkable price for a work horse. A dapple gray stallion was also purchased by the circus people and both paid for entirely in silver dollars and half dollars. Twenty Years Ago Lorenzo Crounse was the unanimous choice of the Douglas county republican convention for gubernatorial nominee. The convention was called to order by County Chairman Dave Mercer and Sec retary Jenkins read the call. On motion of Ben S. Baker, William G. Whitmore of Valley was made temporary chairman, and on motion of Charley Unltt, Dan H. Wheeler was made temporary secretary. It was a lively convention. The first ballot for a choice for governor resulted: Crounse 71, Noyes 58, Broatch 15, Dr. S. D. Mercer 10, MacColl 2, Whitmore 2, Majors 2. Noyes and Broatch withdrew and Ben Baker proposed to make Crounse's selection unalmous, and B. H. Robison of the Broatch ward said he would second such a motion, whereat Charley Unltt took the floor against the proposition and was Jojined by Judge Eller, so after E. M. Bartlett had set forth the good qualities of Crounse once more, another ballot was taken with Crounse having 100 and Chairman Whit more called Baker to the chair and made the motion that selected Crounse unani mously. Omaha's mean temperature for July was reported at 73 Hugh Murphy appeared before, the BoaTd of Public Works with his bond signed for repaying Leavenworth street from Sixteenth to . Park avenue with vitrified brick at $1.43 a square yard. Ed. Phelan began on the paving of Douglas street from Sixteenth to Twentieth and said he would complete it in sixty days. Governor McKlnley of Ohio passed through Omaha to Beatrice, where he was billed to speak. He was looking well and feeling confident of republican success in the fall. Ten Years Ago The Union Pacifio promised to give the Omaha Field club four carloads of Sher man gravel for its walks and drives. President Sunderland and one or two others of the club went to ask President Burt of the railroad for some favorable rates on the gravel and Mr. Burt simply told them he would make a donation of that much gravel to the club. The Union Pacific created the position of general boiler Inspector In its shops and gave it to Charles Hemple of Have lock. News was received of the death In Hammond, Ind., of Mrs. C. A. L. K. White, for eighteen years a resident of Omaha. The body was to be brought here for burial In Walnut Hill cemetery. As a result of the day's contests, the tennis championship rested between C. H. Young. R. E. Sunderland, C G. Sher wood and F. 3. Hill, who were to play it off the next day. all being tied. D. Rlsley, president of the Omaha Auto mobile club, said the club would petition the Park board to rescind its order ex cluding autos from parks and boulevards, as the members considered the order , un just. Henry T. Oxnard, the beet sugar man, visited General Manderson on his pas sage through the city and expressed him self as stoutly opposed to the policy of reciprocity. . B. J. Horton. who was practicing law in Porto Rico, was visiting his brother, R. S. Horton of Omaha. People Talked About The Chicago assessor who cut In two the taxes of the father of twenty-one children has earned a high place In the list of sympathetic patriots. British physicians solemnly refuse to conserve health unless the government lifts the price to tt.lt for medical attend ance upon each of the 12,000,000 persons enrolled in the nation's Insurance scheme. Brought tnto court In a civil action In California, John Kelly, the octogenarian gardener employed on the Leland Stan ford estate at $40 a month, astounded the court by revealing a fortune of nearly $300,009. Prospective heirs now esteem the old man as a marvel of fore-handed thrift. To reward those who befriended him nearly a quarter of a century ago. when be toured Indiana on a bicycle, E. Nich olas Churchill of Jollet. III., who is said by attorneys to be a multimillionaire, the city of Peru and Its citizens will be made beneficiaries of her bounty to the extent of more than $50,000. Healthy arid sound and lithe of limb, Harris L- Gibson of Wakefield, Mass.. at 85 years, may well be satd to be a remarkably active man for his years, hut his chief claim to distinction 'lies in the fact that in the past decade and a half, since he was 70 years old. he has ridden his bicycle nearly 32,000 milts. SJHUN& EEMAEKS. Scott Jones says that he cleared be tween five and six hundred on that stock deal of his. I wonder of It's so? Mott Oh. yes, he made between $5 and $W. Th? exact amount, I believe, was IS.75. Boston Transcript. Magistrate Why was this man ar- i rested. Officer As a suspicious character, your honor. I found him in company with a felon. Magistrate But the evidence is that he was alone. How could he be In company with a felon? Officer It was a bone felon, your honor. Baltimore American. "Think Peleg Wombat has got any chance to be elected poundmaster ot Plunkville?" "Dunno. Nobody has accused him of stealing his nomination. 'Fratd he's hoeplessly out of stylp this year." Louisville Courier-Journal. Sarcastic Diner: "Waiter, what on earth is the matter with this establish ment? This steak Is burnt black." Sorrowful-looking Waiter: "Yessir, mark of respect, sir. Our chef died yes terday." Pearson's Weekly. "She Is very liberal ln her charities," said one woman. "Yes," answered the other; "liberal, but not alway practical. For instance, she wanted to send alarm clocks to Africa to aid sufferers from the sleeping sick ness." McCall's Magazine. "How do you tell the difference be tween a yacht and a sailboat?" said the girl with the inquiring mind. "By lookln' into the pantry," replied Captain Cleet. "If she carries plenty of refreshments and segars, she's a yacht. It It's mostly plain victuals, she's a sail boat." Detroit Free Press. Ella. What a dreamer she is! Sella. I should say so! When I told her about an accident In which a poor fellow lost both of his legs she said that was too bad, as he would not be able to leave any footprints on the sands of time. Judge. "Shakespeare ought to have made Hamlet give that speech about rather be: lng a dog and baying the moon.',' "Why should Hamlet have said it?" "Wasn't he a great Dane?" Baltimore American. to Modern Equipment Convenient Schedules Incomparable Dining Car Service The Direct Route to the East hwzm lffl Fares The Ideal Vacation Land. The Cool Lakes and Woods of Minnesota and Wisconsin The prime requisite for a recreative vacation is a complete change of air and scene. Therefore, the Minnesota and Northern Wisconsin lake country is the ideal summer vacation land for. Nebraakans and Iowans. You can escape the burning heat of the prairies and be cool and comfortable at any of the thousand sandy beach lakes nestling in the woods. You can bathe, fish, canoe, motor-boat or sail. You can get close to nature by renting a camp outfit and pitching your tent on the shore of some little lake far frem the beaten path, or you can live at a hotel fronv $5.00 to 115 00 per week. On request I will send you free descriptive literature giving ways and means and places. Tha shortest and best line is the Chicago Great Western The lowest round trip fares are in effect via the Chicago Great West ern daily a few samples are quoted for your convenience. Round trip fares from Omaha: St Paul, Minn. $125 Alexandria, M. 1S.15 Walker :.:0.S Minneapolis. M. 11.50 Annandale. II... 15.45 Detroit 20.65 Duluth, Minn. .. 18.50 Glenwoort .17.15 Llndstrom .. .. 14.05 Superior. Wis... 18.50 PaytiesvlUe li.OO Osakis 17.70 Ashland. Wis .19.90 Backus 19 75 twrset 20 55 Cass Lake, Minn. 21.50 Mysian 12.50 Greenland 12.50 Madison Lake ..12.50 -vvatervllle 12.50 Bald Eagle .... U.io If your ticket reads via ths Chicago Great Western, you get the bene fit of modern sleeping cars, observation cars, electric lights, airy berths, fast service and excellent meals. Write me for full information. P. F. BONORDEN, C. P. & T. A. Phons Douglas 860. 1818 'arasun Street, Omaha, Vet. THE SOIA CLERK. i St. Louis Globe-Democrat. Whenever I am anxious to behold a chap at work I stand and watch the movements of the soda water clerk, Especially In summer, when the temper ature is high And people swarm up to him and Im petuously cry: "Gimme a choc'lit sody draw 'me a lemon lime Gee, but this dump is crowded been here an awful time Couple o' sassperillas strob'ry colllg ice Say, on the level, Lizzie, isn't verniller nice Got enny maple walnut here you are, over hero No. I don't want no banana, told you I said root beer Whadd'ly have, try coffee say, this ain't orangeade, Don't talk to me, youns feller I know how the drink Is m?.d." And thus they keep on coming, with In sistent, brisk demand. The soda clerk keeps moving, as he v works with either hand. He's fast enough In winter, but the- sum mer makes makes him fly. It's then he demonstrates the hand is faster than the eye. "Just Say" HORLICEt'S it Means Original and Genuine MALTED MILK The Food-drink for Ail Ages. . More healthful than Tea or Coffee. Agrees with the weakest digestion. Delicious, invigorating and nutritious. Rich milk, malted grain, powder form, A qnkk lunch prepared in a minute. Take no whstirrtte. AskforHORLICK'S. jPT"- Others are imitations. Points East Spedal low summer tickets via the Chicago and North Wettern Ry. on sale daily until Sept. 30,. 1912, to Detroit, Saratoga Springs, Niagara Falls, New York City, Atlantic City, Boston, Toronto, Montreal and other seaside snd mountain resorts. A splendid opportunity to enjoy a vacation back East, away from the usual routine of every day life. . , J Th North Wettern Lin maintains superb daily train service to Chicago. ( The route lies over a smooth, rock-ballasted roadbed; automatic electric signals safeguard the journey all the way. J The palatial New Passenger Terminal at Chicago, at which all trains arrive, marks a new era in railway station architecture in the West It is the most modern railway station in the world. J Direct connections at Chicago with fast trains of all lines east. Choice of routes. For fores, dates and reservations, apply to Ticket Offica Chicago and North Western Railway S3 IMIH III 111 jiMMiMiiiJMJMI. JT 3 0