SILK HAT HARRY'S DIVORCE SUIT The
( HEV W0J6 THEXE.S CON.SHfcABuS
I THCUE. - THWWK I'LL (JO
. V O TTW TO M ACB M
Married Life
N " I:
3USFA A : ' '
'
V - - ' .'.'"'""'
They Get Into London on a Rainy Night and Helen's En
1 r - thusiasm is Forced. "V ; ";. ....
By MABEL HERBERT XTlNERi
, : vrrrst-clasa''
t class Snjoking,
''TMrii-ciags.',', C "f!lrBt
read the .lettering . on
the' doort' of the " compartment cars.
I It was Helen's first glimpse of an
English train, and as .the guard, opened
the r door . of .. an
Jempty carriage with
a hearty; "Here
jyou are, sir," she
j entered with' eager
.Interest ".
,' "But . Warren,"
ishe- Whispered, an
xiously, "this says
(.Mjird-class!".' . . .
"""Of -"course.
l!vVybody. , oyer
... here travels third
except snobs and
Americans.:'. Then,
i twiing. to .the por-l-ter-,
who was put
, ting their hand bag
rKage.n the rack
I above, ; "Now you
'sea -those .trunks
'get on- all right."
Si.
?
; "Thank you, sir," pocketing 'a shll
jlingi -'I'M put-'em on inyself.;lr,'' - ,
"Did he give you" the checks?" asked
I Helen, who was always fearful that her
trtmk Alight go astray. -Checks?
They don't have, cheeks." '
","No checks! Why, dear, how do they
'Identify your baggage. .
.-"They don't You Identify it yourself,
1 Tou Just go back to the luggage van and
point, It out"
. ' '"But -how can they be surer-"
;"That 'you don't take' some other fel
lows?. They can't. We might try it if
we see "anything that' looks better than
ours." " ' ' " ''
"Warren, do be serious! Suppose we
shouldn't get ; our trunks? Think how
dreadful It would be to find ourselves in
' london. without our things! Couldn't you
get the guard to give you some kind of
a' check?"; ; ' v"' '' ' ' ;
,. , "Now ee. here,. the English people have
hadu their.,way .of doing things for some
little time. , Tou needn't think they're
going, to change it because you're over
liere for a couple of weeks." :
; But now the train drew out, and Helen
soon forgot her anxiety about the trunks
in. her Interest in the beautiful. English
countiy through whlcn they passed. :
Flowers were everywhere. The fields
were gay with wild popples, cornflowers,
daffodils and. buttereups. And every lit
tle cottage had its' " flower ' garden: and
, green1 hedge. '
"h; 'Warren-look! .That dear little
thatchsd-roof house Just covered, with
climbing roses!"
Helen could not but compare the charm;
ing plcturesqitoness of even the simplest
cottage with the unattractive barrenness
of the same class of house at home.
.Whatever: else "the Englishman: may.' or
may not be, his, loye of flowers and gar.
derrig is an admirable trait. ' '
; "hese dinky1 little trains seem to make
pretty good time," commented Warren
"They manage to get over the ground all
right?,. We're doing more than fifty miles
an hour now." - , . ,
"And 1-love these little compartments.
Were . touclj . mote , comfortable , -and
private in here than in bur ' cars.? -
"Wait till Someone' gets In with us
you won't like it so Well." 1
At the- vwry next station some one did
get ina woman with all the small hand
baggage wi'h which jthe English invari
ably travel , These were a couple .of bags,
a carryall, half a dozen brown paper
parcels, an umbrella,,. a. basket. of. fruit
and a great bunch of roses.
She settled herself in the opposite seat.
while the,, guard, - with the dexterity of
much experlene- towed the, things Away
on the "seat, under Jthe seat and on the
rack,at6ve.. " , -
'Bl . bpx, , Itttl; box,. Hand-box" and
bundle rUrd -cage and umbwlla, '! quoted
Warren In an Undertone.. "She's got v'em
all but the;bird cage." . .
'Helen . controlled .her - desire to laugh.
"Do-.they always travel with so many
things?" , .. ,-. .".- . ,
."Always. Waif ttH youse a London
cAo: taking some Englishmen 'to! the sta
tion!' ; '' -A ' -.-'' ,
i "Oh " dear-look!" . as kln,: suddenly
caught sight jf a familiar sign- "An ad
vertisement of an American canned soup!
Why, do-they advertise that over hers?"
"Sure! Tou'll see signs all along here
of American, pills and pjckles and tooth
paste.-. See, there's one now," as a well
known pickle sign flashed into view. '
"r"Bt we think heir pickles, are o much
better' than ours!"'
I "And' they evidently think ' ours -better
than theirs. 'The other side of. the fence,'
i you "fcnow." ""' "
Ihe (gee,
J
7
J lU (SO CVCR. ANO takct A
.SLANT AT MCR. WiEtP -
OVJER-
) I 3JST PE3. Use
VNlTH SOME NICE
the Third Year
To Helen It was ciiMously disillusion
izing to sea these American bill board
signs against. a background of English
hedges and flower gardens. , It seemed
a sort of desecratioh, somehow.
"But Warren, I thought the English
were so conservative? How can they
disfigure, their, beautiful . country, with
thoisesighs.?",';'. ,;' , ".",'.'' ." ;
"EnglUhmen. are conservative all right
but not where. the American dollar Is
concerned, They're all out for that
Guess they're glad to have ouc4ill and
plcklo signs in their ancestral fields."
'At the next station- there were- several
tea .wagons drawn up on the platform
beside the train.
"Oh, are those the English tea wagons
one reads so much about?" -'
"That's just what they are," answered
Warren. "Want some tea?" ..
The-tea was delicious, and so were the
thin bread and butter and tea cakes that
went with it.
"Only a shilling , for all that! Why,
Warren, that's -absurdly cheap!"
"Food is cbeap In England. Walt till
I take you to one of the London restaur
ants. ' We'll have a dinner there for three
shillings that" you can't get In New York
for $2. In a first-class place, too, with
good music and the service can't be beat
If we get in on time, I'll take you to a
place on Oxford street, tonight and give
you for three and sixpence the best din
ner you ever had."
"Oh!" excitedly; "will we get there In
time to go out for dinner?"
"Don't see why we shouldn't. We're
due there at 6:15. Ought to have our
traps in the hotel and get washed up
by 8." "
To Helen- the -words- seemed weighted
with the glamour of adventures to come.
To dine in London that night. London
the very name seemed full of romance
and tradition.
In. the last hour it had been slowly
clouding up, and now a fins mist was
blowing in the window. Warren, . who
was half -dosing lit the, corner, roused.
himself and closed the -window with "a
bang. ';,
"Oh, I'm so sorry, ' said Helen, re
gretfully, "I didn't want my first glimpse
of London to be in the rain."
"Huh, that's the thronlc condition of
the weather there. When it Isn't raining
It's getting ready to." . V ' ;
The factories," warehouses and long
rows oi-closely "set cottages now showed
the approach of a great city.
"Oh, Warren, are we really almost
there? Are these the suburbs?"
"Yes, we're on the outskirts. Twenty
minutes more and we're there."
The railroad approach to any city is
never impressive. And Helen was vaguely
disappointed in the rows of dull, colorless
buildings which seemed of no particular
character -or Interest.
The woman on the seat opposite began
to collect her many bundles. Warren
struggled into his overcoat and helped
Helen into hers. They were going
through one tunnel after another and at
length they drew up In a great vaulted
station- . '..,
A guard threw open the door and helped
them out They , hurried back to th
luggage van where porters were drtgglng
out trunks and boxes.
"Here, this is mine and that one over
there." Warren pointed out the two
trunks. "Now get them on a taxi, quickly
as yu can."
The porter promptly put them on a
truck and wheeled them down the long
platform to the line of waiting taxis.
"But how did he, know these . were
ours?" insisted Helen. "Why, dear it
all seems so unsafe. 'Anyone could have
claimed them or we could have claimed
anything else." V ,
"Well, you've got your trunks, haven't
you? What else did, you want? ,By
Jove, nothing ever satisfies you. Here,
this is our cab get in there."
As they started off Warren called, up
to the driver, "Hotel Metrople!" A mo
ment later they were" whirling through
the dark misty streets. '
Helen, her heart in her throat, was sit
ting tense and eager, gazing out "And
this Is really London. This Is really
London!" she kept" saying to herself,
trying to feel all the thrill and wonder
that she had. thought she would feel.
But in her heart there was a dull, "sick
i
sense of disappointment
The poorly lit street and small sordid
shops through, which they were passing
seemed curiously without glamour or ro
mance. Still she tried to lash herself
on to some sense of awe and wonder
by continuing to think, "This Is London
-these are reaUy London streets!"
And so often when we have long looked
forward to some great moment and that
moment comes and tells pitiably flat,
r
CMWu'Cr
CMfCHi.
-
TO THE M'NEi
Give ttS fo H OM$o u-U
one crElr;QV.
OtOTPCS: TWMP aloF,
W wtye:-?' he. heard,
A HOl5e, H6 tliTENeO.
i.sotce Aio. if tero
JiyMLiTD VrJoW-P you
mu.t'i-rfiiPouK i;-.
1 ; igAje---Ho-P.MOHe .iv;
CO As5T8lH s Comim &
rx : ?) L:&ta.
vii j j." nr r i i ni
Bea6E"Awe. Frto
CORNGS (j- PEE. "PIE
TOTicMfjer its
T SbiUQ poi-U '
nN M 0 LA
CAU-, fMENl MAK
AT q I TAJf 17C jwop
CAH Arrt.MA ATRiP
A FS TK-i pi TO
4 M
r i
IU fc; ftrtvYrti t
"Now I Jay me down to sleep.
I pray Thee, Lord my soul to keep"
Ron a thousand lisping pleas
At a . thousand mothers ' knees.
we refuse to admit our disappointment
So now jHelen " tried to deceive herseir
Into : believing that it was a wonderful
moment and that this fcst glimpse of
THE BEE: OMAHA, FRIDAY, JULY 26, 1912.
p Mafaz,ire f)a
Judge Was in Such Good
Copyright, 1917, National
A CHtOCEM BVfHfc PARJley-
- '
fipe -me icrHy T7
, . . . - ii
.
. Y'' , : v"'- r
'' -'. .... J! '
l-JItfOsr vrfAF 1 AfA, "THAI.
:LCT5 OP OTHER.
T7M COttETTvAi 8Uy MLhA
LOCAL CMVRCH. OP Oy
cap O- coveu 'Nip tiri, '
IF G60(?' BAfV5 G-RACj:
,PAV VICTDf. A0Ore7 :
WE ARE WmE CAP'A SHOUT&
AS HE SWffl OOUvVWE JpVRjT,
HPHpLe(VrEEL AL$ .
TNfC OLD StVVEi ETP,
TWEV rA AKJE lo TfliV?
Aoomo me eetr ;
AMP AT -X'lOA'tA
'PA OFF rO MOME"
TrWANO SLEEP
SJt (j-fTT 6 M 7Md
OOUHOLV 7LL lA'M
' Now 1 Lay 'Mc-- )Ztl
' 'Now I lay me down to sleep
Any place where I may creep"-
Well the mother cannot see
The lad who whispered at her knee.
London was that she had 'dreamt it
would be. ! '' ' 1 '.. -
'And when Warren asked, with a cheer
ful unconcern, "Well, what do. you think
Humor, Too
News Ass'n,
OP TV 6 PM BANNCR--lATweiS.
J TAR.
' I NAortvOU,TO y
A TAILOR THATi A QUSINeS$
CQLCecr7N B'LtS THATS ' :
AHbTM (i.0V-BSS':'-X6,
MMEIMAN VW AS A TAlLoJ21'
LUty WAS TrrE"CCf-L6CTDia
T&E JEVT Otf"F A p LU RV
UiO. He EECTETO TVrC ,:;
KAL-e y 7?eruirv aaah-. v
Ql a MAppeesv.
NEW-OAV A LETTER CAmC
SO MpN IHS P6 our A
S.QON0 5 OSCAR THe
aam 8 5 Toizr.
AUiCKVyTOOoTTU-
K ITU A'yfV'
4
of it?" she answered with an attempt at
enthusiasm- ;'','" 1 ." " . . .. .. . i
"Oh, 1 think 'Jt's ' a . very"" heauUful
cltyl" "i:
" : '''' ' . '' " . v r.....- ' '' " '; ' "'
II " I si i I sin in til 1 1 1 1 II i 1 i i .1 ,. m-VHsawy i , . I, -.,, .
Drawn for
iWTHe COURT
( BACK TrACWs
V OH LEAVE THCPOOM
Telling a -Friend the
, By DOROTHY MX.
; t have a letter that .would be-funh.y If
It wasn't so pathetic, from a girl 'f
omlalns that when he. gefttSMS8
friend" comes to take her! ot 'i--ay
placi of amuse- v w '
ment he always
borrows the price
from her, and
never pays it back.
She says that she
think he is no
f$tieWai ".,
vjrJwe win dis- i
pute ,'hsr opinion
of'te grafting '
yuth, i Most of us,
to " quote . T. ' R.,
would' describe him
by-; a shorter and
uglier word. In
fact, if one should ,
apply all of the
opprobrious epl
fhets -In' the die-
tjonaryof abuse to the creatreU wou'ld
be rank flattery to call him a mtn-whd
Is mean enough to sponge on a poor lit
tle working girl, one could scarcely do
the sqbjeet Justice, .
A parasite Is a contemptible object at
best, but the male parasite who fastens
himself upon the slim pocketbook of the
woman who earns her own living hi be
neath contempt. He Is the lowfst' thing
that crawls, and why a girl should per
mit anything so loathsome to hang about
$er Is pet comprehension. Every senti
ment of self-respect, every Intuition of
self-preservation should bid her spurn
hltn ifrom her presence the-. very,-first
time .he tries to dip his hand Into hr
purse;. . ' ' . l-.-r;--.
ao' thlg girl, and all othtrj .wing
glrlsi, I say with all the earnestness' i 'cari
command, never lend money io a1 inah.
Have nothing to do with a man who lets
you pay for his meals, and his drinks,
and his ticket when you go to places of
amusement together. He Is the cheapest
sort of a deadbeat and means' you jio
good. He Is simply playing ypu for an
easy mark that he can work by, making
afiltte, Jove to ypu and flattering you a
Ntfif.-.a ' ..'..':-. ;.;";' ,:.' -:-'i
JA'fnan never tries to borrow'rnQtiey Vi
a: wpjrnan until he .has gott'efi .'id.; -.wetj
knowij as a panhandler amonr mn that
no man will lend him a cent. Any honest
fellow who pays his debts can get a fe
aonars irom his men acquaintances if h
happens to strike-a streak ; of. bad luck.
It Is onlir after one" becomes notorious as
.borrower who never pays back, and
other men refuse to be held' 'tip' any
farther by him, that he descends to prey-
mg"1ipon women
Therefore,
you may kiss your. 'money
A .. .
good-bye,' little sister, when you lend l.t to
one of this gentry. He never vn In
tends to pay It back. If he did.' he
wouldn't have to borrow ' it from ' a
woman.
: Every dollar that a working girl hat
Is stained with her very llfeblood,, She
has; paid for every cent ot.lt with ioiig
hours at desk, or typewriter: or behind
the counter, or the machine in a'aotory;
Every penny she saves out of her meager
wage represents incredible self-denial. ' If
It could speak It would tell of the anguish
of aching back and fainting body by
Which it was earned, of long blocks
TheManicureljady
"I think it is Just grand the way our
ooys cleaned up over In Sweden,", said
the Manicure Lady to the Head Barber
oromer wmrea was so worked up
snout it that he wrote an ode. to our
Olympic herots. It went like this: "
"Oh, noble athletes; picked by Uncle Sam,
Aften a bit of most Judicious weeding,
Top went across the pend In all your
. , - strength
And gained a lot of . laurels in Stock
holm, Sweden. i
. "'. i." . " "
"ov wont the pole -vault and the run
j nlng Jump; . v.-. . . ....
In other events no nation could pursue
you, . ,-
I think that any man would be a chump
To think that athletes anywhere could
: do youf J
"How many times have I got to tell
you that your brother Is a" plain bug?"
said the Head Barber""H never wrote
no ppetry. Think of . a poet making- a
rhyme like "weedfng' and -'Sweden.' I
don't know none too much about mak
ing verses, but I know something about
rhymes, because iur rhetoric teacher
at school used to" tell us what rhymes
was. She said there wasn't any thing
like a good rhyme or a bad rhyme. She
said that a rhyme was either a rhyme
or iUwaen't one. . She said that them
song 'writers that rhymes .'home', with
'alone', was Just as much to blame- as
a man that rhymed 'range';; wjth 'ooojc
stove.' J--"-.. 'r r
"I never knew that you went t'SBhool
that long," said the manicure htd&'plsrnly
awed by Qeorge'a unexpected demonstra-,
9
The Bee by Tad
-
J
weary feet )iave walked to save car fare,;
6fv desires for pretty blotbes vand goed:
iwi 'thft; havir been- ctHiclfled, and the
njan'who; would aki i front her the W
dbliars'bi her little hdkrd would steal thi
ioi.ns" of f his dead mother's i eyes, v
No man with one, spark of manhood tt.
him but woujd rather starye than' take
money from. a. wprklng womah, While ss
for permitting her to pay for his amused
ment,! he would rather go to purgatory,
thsn Copey Island under such, conditions.'
Q( cpurse, these strictures do pot apply,;
to.slch women whi) . have plenty of money
and- who are thus put ot an. equal finan
clalroet)ng wjth,: men. and may borrow,
apd lend Just as men do. Naturally ther
U no more reason why a man shouldn't!
borrow of Hetty, Oreen or any other
woman with money, to lend than there
Is why he shouldn't -, borrow of Mr.,
Morgan r any other man. ;
i It Is the working girl and her problem
we are discussing, and the. minute a
woman begins to earn money she is set
upon by a horde of sycophantic men who
got (Heir 'evil living out of grafting upon
women. . All of the drunksn, trifling, no"
account,. Issv loafers and ne'er-do-wells,
all of the tellers of hard luck stories and
all of the vlslenary men with dopsy
schemes that they 1 never have enough
money of thslr own to finance them
selves, swarm about her,, and it takes
grit and "courage ' and Independence to
turn rthem "down- and keep a padlock oa
her prfeketbobk. '' '' ': V V " "'
Yet that Is what she must do for her
own self-preservation,' and what make
the situation doubly 'hard for a sentimen
tal and unsophisticated girl to deal with
Is that the foxy gentleman who. is trying
to borrow, her money a'wost always as-"
companies his touch fof a five" or tea spot
with Ardent love-making. , ,, ' "' '
In t.Ws way, he blinds th "girl to rtk
real motive, so that she cannot see how
mean and selfish and low he Is, or how.
little worth having Is the man who ever'
before marriage Is willing to live on th
hard toll of a woman. . . ,
The girl who lends money to a mart on
the theory that she will thereby , bind
him to her by ties of gratitude ana ap
pVedatlon makes the mistake of her life
for if tt Is true that the man who lend
n'joh'ey to; his friend loses his money and'
his friend both; it is doubly trua of fh
wpman who lends money to a man. There
Is ho easier way for a W6man to make a
man hate her than for her to put hin
under obligations to her. and especially
financial- obligations that shame him in
real men's eyes.
; For proof of this you have only to tag
the multitudinous cases you see all aboAf
you i.of women 'who support thalr hugs
bands, and In not one single Instance wtit
you find a man who Is appreciative j
what his wife does or who treats hftjj
well.'- He will let her work herself to
death for him, and then -he revenges the
bitterness of his dependence upon her In
a thousand little tyrannies and grouches
and tempers, . . .,."-. -
. And this is, perhaps, natural The rlghj
kind; of a man doesn't take a woman'
mony, and ; the wrong, sort may' be dai
pended upon to do the wrong .thins. ;v '
, Therefore I say again to you. worklnff
girls, don't lend your money. Hold on to
It. A dollar In your pocketbook is worta
more thaij a beaii whose way you hav t5
pay. -i.: ' 'J -Mr
i ii i i j '
tien of knowledge. "Maybe you are less
of a bonehead than J.ever gave you oredlji
of being, George. It Just goees to show
that one can pevtr tell for sura who is
thick In' the skull; and who Isn't. -Just to
think , that a man of your general ap
pearnce ever had a rhetoric teacher!" :
"I had more teachers," said the : head,
barber, rather loftily.' !'J studied :ale
bra, too. I had a fine algebra teacher,
the taught rne a lot of algebra" '
"What la algebra, George?" asked tha
mlnacure lady, now thoroughly Impressed.
"It's all about them X's and Y's and
Z's," explained the head barber. "If there
is a problem that you can't do by arltht
metle you have got to do it by algebra,
JC is always the unknown quandary, or
whatever they call It You have all tha
time got to find out what X is. Then you
have to show what Y stands for, and than
ypu know the answer. For Instance, X
equals fat, Y equals Impudence, and ,X
plus Y equals you." M.-V
'. "You think you are awful wlsa, don't
you, George?" snorted the rrianlcure-lady;
"As the poet would say, you're tha gfcy
that ended the storm In brainstorm,' You
make me tired with all your claims f
knowledge." ; '''.;' .
. "You've got me wrong If you think I '
am intellectual," replied the head barber.
'Tm not a- smart man I'm a. had, man. .
I'tfi thtr' tnan, that" put the first atn- intn
Truth" "
Cincinnati,'" ' . -. , 'WBiratnitV
1 JiliUai