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SILK HAT HARRY'S DIVORCE SUIT Everybody sDoin' It
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I Slaves of Fashion &.?fe0C:frtf. ; Little Bobbie's Pa - ; j.
By DOBOTHY DEC.
. Men are always deriding women for be
ing the slaves of fashion, and declaring
that the iex that has no pockets has no
I business with the ballot '
: Nothing that their
(harshest crltio could
jeay on the subject
would half do it Jus
itice. 1 The dress of
the average woman,
particularly if she is
llncllned to be a little
stout. Is a collection
lof implements of tor
jture that would put
I the rack and the
jthumb screws of the
Spanish Inquisition
;to shams.
. lace a woman In
B straight front in
i which she cannot
jtake a long breath
I or make a free
Imovement to save
iher life, and that pushes her stomach up
lunder her ribs and disposes of the bal
jance of her anatomy In unnatural places;
iperch her up on two-inch French heels
jtha't niake every; Step an acute agony; pin
on her head four pounds of false hair
wltir- fbrty'-seven hair pifta- that dig- Into
her; scalp at different angles, and you
ihave before you a creature who is under
golng.'tortures that make- the .sufferings
of the early Christian martyrs look like
a picnic. ' . K '
Yet this is the manner in which fash,
ion: decrees that a'w6rhafi Shall' rig' her
self up when she goes forth to' enjoy her
elf Furthermore, fashion, that demands
ilts'toll of life and death, orders woman
jto starve themselves to be t"in; to striR
loff .their petticoats and go insufficiently
clad to appear slimmer; to wear thin slip
pers and silk stockings in cold , and
muddy weather, and to appear with bare
necks and throats when the thermometer
Is hovering around the ero mark, and
woman meekly obey, though they kill
themselves by doing so:
When you contemplate the offerings of
life and comfort and health and happi
ness that woman make on the altar of
fashion, it does look as if their brains
were cut on the bias, 'and frilled in the
middle, and hobbled ' around the bottom,
and that' the fit home of the entire sex
was the institution for the feeble-minded.
.You can't wonder that men gird at
ithem for being the slaves of fashion, and
call them fools and Idiots not to assert
their own . independence by dressing in a
rational and comfortable way, until you
take a look at men themselves. .
Then you perceive that women are not
the real abject slaves of fashion. Men
are, , for women, , at least, show some
glimmer of rebellion against the autocrat
occasionally, while men follow the leader
blindly. ...
: A woman, for instance, conforms, to the
general mandates of the tyrant who de
crees that, dresses shall be tight or loose,
and hats small or large, but she has
enough 'originality . to try to make her
atrn gown . or hat different ,- from-, the
others, and expressive of her individual
taste, whereas a man would die before
(he would put on a' pair of trousers that
wasn't a duplicate of those worn by. every
other man in the street, and he would
as soon be accused of committing murder
as of having appeared in public in a hat
with a brim a quarter of an inch wider
jor narrower than that of Brown or Smith.
' A man may have the courage to lead a'
(forlorn hope, or to try to break the
javiation record" or drive an automobile
Rlnety miles an hour, but he turns pale
aod faint at the mire suggestion of
jdressing differently from his neighbors.
lOld Dame Fashion has got him under her
jthumb. all right.
! Men boast of the superior comfort of
jtheir style 'of dress 6ver that of women,
'but between th misery of a straight
front corset and a high, stiff linen collar
'that looks like a section of sewer pipe,
heaven knows there is little to
'choose.. One chokes you about the waist
and hips and the other around the neck,
'and whlcfl 1s the most uncomfortable
and the most unheal thful nobody knows.
. The collar has no Justification inn
(earths-It is a harsh and hard abomina
tion "that cuts off toe blood supply from
the brain and holds the head in a vise
and that adds twenty degrees of tempera -jture
to the body in hot weather, -yet
iHo man; dares defy fashion and go down
Ito business In a cool, comfortable Dutch
.neck, such as women wear.
As a further proof of man's abjct
slavery to fashion, consider the way he
Presses in summer. Even on the most
tropical days he attires himelf as if he
iwere going on a North pole expedition. He
'puts on a woolen suit, a stiff starched
lehlrt, a three-ply stiff starched collar, a
thick silk necktie. Every layer of clothes
means that much more "hear to 'be' en
sured, but while he mops the steaming
perspiration from his brow he dona the
coat and vest that will put him In danger
of perishing of heat or apoplexy before
he gets home.
A few years ago a philanthropist, seek
ing to mitigate the sufferings of bis
fellow man in the dog days, tried to in
duce men to leave off their coats and
vests In summer and wear shirt waists,
as women do. The idea had every
thing to recommend it. U was comfort
able, cleanly, hygienic and even pictur
esque. Abstractly, men were enthut
astlcally in its favor, but when It came
to putting the' theory into actual practice
they were so completely dominated by
fashion and custom that they hadn't the
bravery to do It. ,
In view of all these facts men tave
no right to ridicule women for the felly
of their dress, or for being slaves of
fashion. We arcs all tarred with the
same brush. If men point the finger of
scorn at women's straight front, women
can retaliate by calling attention to their
choking collars, and if women show their
lack of sense by wearing too little clothes
in winter, men show their deficiency of
intelligence by wearing too many in
summer.
As a matter of fact women have a bet
ter excuse for being slaves of fashion
than men have, because women dress to
pleaso men. They'd be glad enough to
be loose, and fat, and comfortable, and
would go about in flowing mother hub
bards, except that men demand trlmness
and slimness in woman, and so women
have to sacrifice comfort to that mascu-
ne ideal. ! . . -
But women win take men however they
can get them, so men have nobody but
themselves to please and no justification
for their slavery to fashion.
ine Manicure Lady J
Pi mm a sa
'There was a young man In here this
morning to' have his nails did," said ths
Manicure lady, "and it is the first time
since r have been in this business that I
have ever say a elevator, or laviator, or
whatever it is' they . call them bright
young souls that goes smiling up Into the
asure skies like them meadow larks that
Percy Kelley used to write about. , He
was a grand looking fellow. George,' the
kind of a looking fellow that you used
to be, I guess, before you got fat.":
i aon t want any or tnat Kind or a
game," said . the , Head Barber. "I got
troubles enough on earth without . going
up into the sky to look for troubles. It's
hard enough to live on the earth and keep
from going In the air."
''I guess you are right about that pert
of it," agreed the Manicure Lady. "I
would like . to watch a handsome young
gent like him ' sailing up toward the
fleecy clouds in a nice biplane: but
for me, t want to keep my little feet on
terra cotta."; ;
"On terra what?" asked the Head
Barber.
' "Terra cotta," answered the Manicure
Lady. "That's Latin for solid ground,
or at least It Is as near as I remember.
How would you. pronounce it?"
"When I went to school we used to see
a word in the geography that spelled
something like terra del fuego," said the
Head Barber, "fhst might' be what you
mean."
"Now I know what I mean!" exclaimed
the Manicure Lady. " mean terra- firma
Ain't Is funny, George, that a well edu
cated' girl can make such a mistake , in
the renunciation of a word? If you had
came to me yesterday and told me .that
I could have did such a thing as to re
nounce1 a word wrong, I would have gave
you the scornful aneer." ;
. "I don't Jtnow what you mesa when
you say . 'renounce' Instead of 'pro
nounce, " corrected the Head Barber.
"What are you trying to do kid me?"
; "Never, never!" exclaimed the Mani
cure Lady. "I may have a lot of faults,
Geqge, but I think I am too good a lover
of fair play to kid a poor dunce. I'd
rather try my fine work on some men
that come here to have their nails did
men that know more In a minute than
you will ever know. George.
"But as I was saying about this young
air man that"was.ln here this morning,
I always feel sorry when I think of one.
Wilfred has wrote a really good poem,
which he calf The Broken Wings. and in
It he tells abut a biplane or a monoplane
or whatever they call them airships, all
about how It fell to the earth with flut
tering wings and never rose no more for
ever. I cried when I read It."
"I don't blame you," said the Head
Barber. "If I had a brother like yours,
I would cry, too."
It It's true t'-at a rusl.and and wife
re only one, how does it require two
to make a quarroll
Wup
SK 'Nrty. 6 tjiaw m & VER
THE BRONV ?AV DOr
VKHJL SrROUCNy THP.U
FREGMONT VU.AG-G WAi
Accosted oy 7wo ftoos-H
NECK! N HO, CREASED HIS ,
BOA" VUlTW A, &&CIC. OOli
HERO IMMEDATEL-V
ASilMGO A JlTTING FOJlTlOV
AND THEN VNITH AU TRg
STJH rn4 HAP LEFT
Oqe 7WG COLD
WtfeM HEflsT WAN65 ?
DROP' THAT WHEELBARRO W
AOOOTMAGHIMEfW
Sw.tea?ot-p i HAwE"
A Pi OF-' t0iiTOrA5
PAOOOT
A PLEACH ETC VOW.
GET UP AT 6 AN P
APTEK THE EAT3 I
0?Ev nC AAIL. A-NO,
TUrW THE CHUPfl fj N W
The Smiling
By HAZEL DAWN.
Of the "Pink Lady" Company.
I have been asked to give my particular
secret for beauty to the readers of this
paper.
I don't believe that I have any espe
cial formula for beauty, but if ' I were
to sum up In a word the quality which to
me is the greatest - beautifier of the
human face, I should call it happiness.
' Happinoss expresses Itself in laughter,
and to me the laughing face is the pret
tiest of all.
I have always cultivated' a sense of
humor and done my hair up In a simple
way, and whatever good looks I have,
have been enhanced by both character
istics. !
J 'have seen many girls who ought to be
pretty, and whose natural expression was
glum and depressed," or who bad over
fi MISS HAZEL DAWN, THE ORIGINAL
Itfi I "PINK LADY," IS SHOWN HERE IN vl&k "
I fA J .f rfC I J'i . VARIOUS POSER THAT' APTLY IUATV.?'
I &ylrpt T4J I n ' SERVE TO SHOW THE VALUE OF H,4 ' ml
hWrV TW A PRETTIT SMILE. . ' , , . . M , W
'ir. ' NU topped their small faces with masses'of V tjj' C" '
IK'!'"1' V"" ffi ' false hair, bandeaux and ornaments until Va. r$l I
m they were anything but attractive.' Ui"'' i 'w
v '$PS I think your face expresses ydur habit- m'hW
Nk. sf' ' ' ' uaI nd charetrl8tl: tr'n of thoughr. jv-i?7 '
Tou can't have a disagreeable, unlovely -ef
f -' "y disposition and expect to look like Lillian -Q.rm
THE BEE: OMAHA, TUESDAY, JULY 23, 1912.
' i' V : 1 IS? K ...
OOWN H5 Wtrm r-ui H
HIS KNOB -THE HeATWWW"wi ,
-is m i -r r U tr AJ?
HIM. TH6
06 00 WAS VOT FOK FAIR
0LANK67Y dLAHK GMCr
ALONC CAM& THE AM 00-1
LANCE FR0A1 THE VOLVH
TR MOSPTAl. TM6
POC SOAKEP HIS THNK
rAMKWITH AM ICG 0A&
A.N D SO DDeNLV OUR.
hro opsnbo
If'vou call the
S OR CrBON $0C V4 o ulp
you CALt THc OKUtKijY
Melll'MMijUi
I
M OTHNGr
THEN ATTTTHTs THE
eslfJNlMfr jEfUVilCE
AFTEX THAcr TAM "TO
the rp.ujTES, -mev
rwvv SoMOAy jffitrAOiv
Mjo ndw Book;
OH TWiEOLO till.
SO VMGS AHt
THEN GT AAV CHwH-Cri
EC0llOi IN 0R-O6"&,
(THEH I frO OUT AND
VI SIT THcTJlCIC Tltl-t..
JlwllLl altwov
4
Beauty, .'.
An
Can
topped their small faces with , masses of
false hair, bandeaux and ornaments until
they were anything but attractive.
I think your face expresses ydur habit
ual and characteristic train of thought.
Tou can't have a disagreeable, unlovely
disposition and expect to look like Lillian
Russell, who is Just as amiable as she
looks to be. On the other hand, even if
ypu haven't classic features ' and ' a
Cupid's bow mouth, if you radiate good
humor, and affection those qualities will
shine In your face, and no matter what
kind of a complexion you have, or how
straight your hair may be, some people
in the world are bound to think you are
a dear, and a few will think you beauti
ful to look at.
So my advice to the girl who wants to
be beautiful is to laugh and be merry.
Laughter Is the greatest tonic In the
world, and the greatest natural beautifier.
I am always glad to hear the audience
laugh, not only because I know that they
appreciate the work of the actors on'the
stage, but because It is so good for them.
Worry makes one old, . laughter re
juvenates.
' Laughter is Just as good as exercise
as deep breathing, and you'll never find
-VltC ni II I'UEkK Kill I in -
RCRK1 Lfill0 op rjr
i:J -
fROM A SOUL IN ALL THATT'Mc;
U6$SA6e CAMS FofcHM
HN&rlVOU5Ly TOP-E TXE
TrtHr OPEN. INS fOE WAS
A SMAU. NOTE vu (XirrEV
inrH CHoiceir ioo sh
it 3Aio
if supper is ;-ow
S eRGArCFA"iT"
a a
SEP i
TO DO
' TILL
r-riiw
b MORROW
1 J
)
Object Lesson, for the Girl Who
. Smile frettily, but Won't.
a person with a hearty ringing laugh,
constantly laughing at something or
other, who hasn't a pretty good pair of
lungs.' If you want to be pretty, be an
optimist.
If you want to be a stage success, be
an optimist, and If you want to succeed
1n the career of home-maker, be a
double-dyed optimist. . and - cultivate . a
laugh.
We can't all be Hark Tapleys, but a
good many of us can cultivate his
optimistic point of view. That is cer
tainly out- thing the stage will do fn
you. A stage career Is full of ups and
downs, or worries and pretty lrrltatlTs,
ao matter how successful one may be
Now If one is going to be temperamitai,
and let everything worry one, when the
curtain rings up in the evening there is
no vitality left with which to give a good
Drawn for
By WILLIAM
Pa Is all the time telling Ma that the
only way not to feel the heat In the hot
weather is not to lose one's temper, but
Pa doesn't practice what he preeches bee
kaus he Is all
time gluing mad. He
got mad last ntte
three or tour times.
Ma knows how easy
it is to git Pa mad,
so all she did was to
laff. She toald me
after Pa had got all
thru talking A had
went Into the library
that Pa wud be the
first one to lose his
temper. 6h dldent
have to tell ' me. I
knew It all the time.
Pa was going to
talk Ma A me out to
dinner in a open air place ware thare was
a lot of palms ft tabels, so we dldent ar
gue with him. for fear he mite get mad ft
want to stay at hoam ft then Ma wud
have to git the dinner.
All the way down town on the St. car
Pa kep talking about how foolish It is
for a man to lae his temper. It Is worse
for a woman to lose her temper, sed Ps
than for a man. It is Jest the opposite
with the mind, sed Pa.- If a man loses his
mind he Is losing a grate deal, wile a
woman lsent losing so much. But wen a
woman loses her temper she is certainly
outtlng loose something, sed Pa.
Wen we got to the open air place to set
the first thing that Fa did was to say;
Well, now let us all be calm ft cool this
eevenlng. Here, waiter. Here, you, sed Pa.
Dig the cotton out of yure ears.
I am vary sorry sir, sed the waiter, i
didn't hear you at first sir.
Well, sed Pa, why dldent you hesr me?
Whae are you hear for It you arent here
to Ussen to gentlemen? Move quick, now,
performance, for which the audience has
paid admission. . .' !: . '
So the actress by and by begins to tak
things more easily and neither one-night
stands nor bad food and poor lodging on
the road can ruffle her spirits.' She re
fuses to be annoyed, and if she is upset
or nervous she is sufficient of an actress
In every day life not to show It, but to
assume the happy expression for which
she is celebrated, and which Is one of her
business assets.
Women . who laugh a. great deal, stay
young longer than those whose faces are
sad, severe or even merely earnest. The
severe expression tends to lengthen th
face, and it always pulls the corner of
the mouth down. These long lines are
the lines of tragedy and age. The mouth
that turns up is the mouth of youth and
comedy. No woman needs to grow to bt
middle aged with those deep lines at the
lower corners of the mouth. Thope lines
come because one is too severe or has
worried too much, or even been a little
cross, when with a well-developed sense
of humor and a title will power one could
have turned those self-same drooping
corners upward.
Have you ever caught a glimpse of
yourself sudden when you were walk
ing by deep in thought, and looked up to
see youref lection in the shop's mirror?
Have yoJreallzed how severe, cross and
anlxous you looked? Do you know that
because you couldn't match a sample of
ribbon your face took on the annoyed
expression of an elderly cross-grained
Prime Minister?
Is It worth while to make ugly lines
In one's face Just for trivial things as
we women are constantly doing?
The dressmaker disappoints us,, and we
frown a whole day. Nf-w, by developing
a sense of humor you learn that it Is the
nature of dressmakers to disappoint, and
you avoid this trial by ordering your
frock a long time in advance.
A sense of humor does a great deal
toward helping one to be charitable to
one's neighbor, and I think that charita
bleness and kindliness are reflected in
the face sooner than any other thoughts.
The skin may be disfigured with scars
or marks, but If the spirit behind the
face Is a kindly ope people are bound to
see a certain beauty striving to express
Itself. ;
When I said I believed In a sense of
humor as a particular beautifier I also
added that I always did my hair plain.
Tou will seldom find a girl with a real
sense of humor and a good looklngglass
who will make a ridiculous object of her
self by displaying hairdressers' goods
bought by the pound and insecurely at
tached to her hair. - --.
If nature has been very stingy with
you and only given you a coupla of hairs,
I think any woman s justified In supple
menting the deficiency, hut I have seen
so many girls with really nice hair cover
ur ther own tresses with Importation!
from China, where the coarse, long hair
comes from, that 1 wonder if they have
any Idea ho w - ridiculous they look.''
Ij (.," i. :
f e
The ee by Tad
F. KIRK.
doan't be a thick dunce. Take the lead
out of yure shoes. Speed up!
Tes sir, sed the waiter. He talked soft
ft low, but all the time he was looking .
at Pa the way on prise titer looks at "
other prise titer. - -
Wen the waiter had went away Ma1;
smiled at Pa soft ft nice ft tried to tell"
him sumthmg about a matlnay show that '
she had saw that afternoon, the naim of T
the show was the Rose Maid ft Ma was "
telling Pa how Mister Bchader had fixed
up the party. Tou doant say, sed Pa,
kind of sarcasttck. who is this Mister
Bchader?
Why, deer, sed Ma, you arent Jellus, are .
you? Mister Bchader is. the press repre:
sentatlve. Tou oughtent to be jelus of,,!
a newspaper man, sed Ma, you are one,.-. ,
youreself. ....
I win be Jellus of anybody that I want t, .
to be Jellus of, sed Pa, kind of loud.: ; :
Whar Is that waiter? It is going to take-
him all nlte to bring this order? - j
Keep still, deer, pleese, sed Ma, ' every': I
body in the whole house is looking oaves- i
at our tabel. Pleas doant talk so loud.
I will talk as loud as I want to, sed Pa, ,
Nobody In the world can teech me how to.t
pitch my vole.
Then Pa was cross all the eevnlng. HjS
picked on the waiter ft the llttel waiter,,
that call a Omnibus ft the hat boy ft ths
street car conductor. A soft answer turn; .
th away wrath. Ma toald Pa, but yom. (
are the worst turner I have ewer saw. ..:! j
Ma ft m was cool all the time, but P"--'
was so hot that he had to use a napkin'
for a handkerchlf. ' f-i
t ..
Ihe Effects of
Mud and Water
The resurrection of the Main after thir
teen year at, the bottom of-Havana-harbor
furnished an unusual opportunity for
Study of toe effect on metala and wood of
lqng submersion tn tropical water. Tola
opportunity. Was utilised , by Dr. Maxi
milian Toch,';to whom every opportunity
was given by .he government .to make
his , Investigation 'thorough and xhaus
tlv. Many valuable specimens from the
shattered and worn hull and fittings, il
lustrating (he effect of the various de
structive agencies at work,, were obtained
during the investigation, and to. He in
the museum of the College of the CJty
of New Tprk.; Dr. Toch glvua . brief
resume of his findings in the Engineering
News of July 4.
The first thing he discovered was that,
contrary to popular report, the hull con
futed not of cast and wrought iron, but of
modern steel. Th anchor chaiii and
pumps were the only parts of cast and
wrought iron. Th hull had sunk into the.
mud to within a few feet of the upper
deck. All the paint below the mud line
was gone, but the wood wa ai perfect
and sound as ; on the night the Maine
sank. Above this Una, howevar, the
teredo had riddled all the pina ur.til it
wap a mere shell, but the mahogany had
not been touched. The notion that the
teredo work only between hlgn and low
water was disproved, for Jt had atucked
the pine of the Maine right down to the
mud Ibi.
The metal of the hull was "carroded
clear through" 1n but one place, tn many
places there was a coating of rust nearly
an inch thick; but the growth of sub.
marine animals over the steel seemed tc
lav acted as a protection against fur
ther disintegration, Jt was found that
wherever the steel bad been close to cop
per or brass, corrosion was more marked,
as the result of electrolytic action.. The
breech of a ten-inch gun, for example,
which had brass fittings, was eatun away
"practically completely." The brass and
copper, however, suffered very Jttle. The
pumps, composed chiefly of iron and
bronse, were scarcely aged At all by the
long submergence. - In fact; at least one
of them was fitted up with new pistoa
rods (the piston rods', being of steel, wero
badly corroded), and used In pumping th
liquid mud out of the hull. '
Th ammunition was found In surpris
ingly good condition. Many it th smaller
rifle shells could be exploded, although
the report was weak, owing to th partial
degeneration of the smokeless powuV.
The rubber packings were !n perfect con
dition. Regarding the condition of : th
human skeletons. Dr. Tooh says: "All
the bodies found wore entirely disarticu
lated. , No vestige of clothing, with th
exception of such metallic objects a we:
in or on them, remained, but it Is worthy
of note that, in thirteen years, the bones
had suffered no decomposition whatever."
"Why do you always Insist on talking
about the weather to your barber?" ,
"Tou wouldn't have me talk about any
thing a exciting as politics to a man
wno is nananng. a rasor, womo jwi
wasnington Biar. r-
--:V;V;:';V::-V'V.
1