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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (June 14, 1912)
SILK HAT HARRY'S DIVORCE SUIT
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By WII LIM
I wa reading a thing in the Sunday
raper the other day, sed Pa that inter
ested me a grate deel. It was a artiokel
that set the useful age limit of man as
about 70. The man wlch rote the artickel,
sed Pa. sed that
man got to be the
gratest athlete or
the gratest poet or
the gratest states
man until he was
about' 60. There is
sum class to the
man that rote that
artickel,' sed Pa.
Until I read It t
never knew how
classy I was as a
ntblete, &. jest
think, I will soon
Then Ma winked
at me & started
in for to kid , Pa.
Why, sed Ma, if I remember rite,
you wasn't much of a athlete wen you
was 25 the yeer we got married.
Wife, sed- Pa, you are getting awful for
gitful In yure old age. Doant you remem
ber what a splendid athlete I was dur
ing them golden days of our courtship.
Why, sed 'Pa, the first thing about me
that attracted yure attention was the
W-yard run I made' in that Thanksgiv
ing Day foot ball game, the time that I
lowered the colors of Michigan U, sed Pa.
I shall never forgit that nite after the
game, sed Pa. -That was the nite you
accepted me wen I proposed to you. Good
ness knows I shall never fergit that
bargain we made, sed Pa. Shall you
ewer fergit it?
I have offen tried to fergit It, 6ed Ma,
but it cums up all the time to haaunt me
like a gray gost In my waking hours
& even in my dreams I am all the time
recalling " the time that I was foolish
enuff to say Sure wen you kneeled down
& sed them fateful words which took
me away from a cum-furtable hoam.
I dident think It was such a swell
hoam, sed Pa, Thare was three en
The Mushroom Hero
"Sweet" writes me the following letter:
"I love a man to whom I have never
been introduced, and I want him to love
me. I am 20 years of age, and he is 28. I
have written for his photo, which he has
sent, and, being an actor, thought it was
wanted to settle a dispute which
stated lri my letter ' to him; He has
various admirers, but I love . him and
something must be done!"
My dear girl, something will be done
and it will be overwhelming and crush
ing when it is done, if you permit your
self to indulge In a mushroom love like
The "something" that, will be done is
what happens when a road crusher rolls
over an obstacle in its path. You are de
liberately throwing yourself In the path
of a road crusher that will -crush out all
your life, your hope, your faith, your
future, when you Indulge in love for a
man whose calling depends In a measure
for populnr success in making matinee
worshippers of girls as silly as you.
I do not use that word "silly" to give
offense, but because It is a true descrip
tion of you, and one you should recog
nize, and change, before it is too late.
You are silly to give this man a second
thought and silly to' a dangerous degree
to writing to him and asking him for
Undoubtedly the lines he speaks on
the stage are heroic, and he does some
noble deed, and you, poor child, imagine
that his life off the stage ia a counter
part. You have confused the hero who gets
paid so much a week for being a hero
with the man who is a hero when there
is no one to see. and none to applaud.
You gaze on that noble make-up coun
tenance with reverence, little knowing
that the face he wears before an audi
ence is usually the opposite that he wears
to those who know him best.
You have emptied out your poor little
heart at his fett, and if acquaintance
with bim resulted in It getting bruised he
would care no more than if it were a
He must not be too greatly condemned
for this. It Is the class of women to
which I beg that you will not belong that
makes himwhat he it.
Notes of admiration and adulation, ap
peals for hi photograph, homage from
women who are encouraged to appear
because their appearance swells the box
office receipts, all serve to turn a head
that has never been fastened on in the
And the hero on the stage becomes the
The (gee'fjrre Magazine p)a
T.iflo "RftkVnVcs Vy III l Vv Z. 1 Sit VW rE te we MAVfir to 7aks flAcjt "Bottle a "P,11ot-;1 II
larged picteri on the parlor wall.
I know that, sed Ma, but thare was
also three square meels on the dining
room tabel. That In itself' was a good
deal for a yung trusting url to give
up. But go on & tell me about these
fifty-yeer old athletes. What bug idee
have you got in yure hed now.
I will tell you the idee that f have
in my hed, sed Pa, & I hoap that you
will be .so good as not to laff at me.
I am going to represent America in the
next Olympic gaims. I have made up
my mind. Me A Billy McGlaughlin was
talking it all oaver down at Tim
O'Brien's last nite, & after Billy had
felt of my biceps, he was almost sure
that I wud have a swell chanet in the
shot putting & hammer throwing events,
& he was also sure that I wud develop
into a grate long distance runner.
Husband, sed Ma, I doant like to say,
anything to hurt yure feeling or the
feeling of yure friend, Billy Mac-some
thing, but I think you must be two plain,
,every day sillies, Ma sed. What did
you ewer do to make yure arnis so
strong, excep twisting a nite key In
our front door?
I used to swing Indian clubs, sed Pa.
I taught a class at my school back In
I have heard you say that a thousand
times, sed Ma. Bobbie, sed Ma, now I
am going to put your father to a test.
Run rife to the' library A git tnat pair
of Indian clubs that I bought for yure
father this afternoon.
I went- & brought the Indian clubs, &
Pa got kind of red in the face tue minnlt
he seen them. A then I knew that he
had never swung no clubs. Sure enuff,
the first time he tried to swing them
oaver his hed they cracked together In
the middle & both (2) of the clubs hit
Pa on the hed.
Wen Pa woke up he aed did I win the
Yes, sed Ma, yes, Martin Sheridan,
you did. Now Mali all the time calls
Pa Martin Sheridan.
villain in real life, and it is the women
who are to blame.
"Somethinng must be done," you say.
My dead girl, Jet this be the "something-'
and see to it that' It is done, and done
Put thoughts of this man out of your
mind. Tear up his photograph, and If
you realise that you are not strong
enough to see him act and keep your
head, don't go near him again.
There are men in your own circle of
friends worth a million of men like him
men who are friends of your brother,
men of whom your father appoves. If
you must love some one, pour out your
affections on an object worthy of them.
Don't value your love so cheaply that
you are ready to lay It at the feet of a
man who would laugh at it. You don't
want to make a Jest of the most sacred
of all emotions; yet I do not doubt that
this man has laughed at you many times,
Without doubt he has boasted of his
many conquests, and has taken as much
pride In s'howing notes from women to
his manager as a clerk in a store would
take In showing records of a big day's
They make him popular: they are his
stock ;in trade: They enhance his value
to the management because they mean
Increased attendance, and If anything
he does increases the attendance there
Is increased salary for him.
So far as sentiment Is concerned, he
doesn't care anything more for the "var
ious admirers" you speak of than for
so many pegs in the wall.
Don't cheapen yourself by becoming
one of them. Remember that every one
puts her own price tag on herself, and
that It la your fault, and your fault
alone, If your' is' low.
Just remember all the time, my dear,
and keep the thought close to you, that
some day the right man will come along.
And when he comes it will not add
to tils respect for you, or to your happi
ness, to learn that you have gone hang
ing around stage doors with your heart
on your sleeve.
"You are suffering from too close con
finement to your business," said the fa
mous specialist to the stranger. "What
you need is & change of scene and inter
est. Go to New York for a week. See
the best shows. See 'Patience." "
"Not on your life), cried the stranger.
"I see too many now."
"Eh!" cried the specialist. "Why,
what's your business?"
"I'm a doctor."-CIvland Plain Dealer.
eh rsw im" i 1 'ja i
HE RAN Utfce A
han Litre Awotp
" TV Co (33 TAfcSS UFB
ASV BUT RAirt wOftlCS
By MARGARET HUBBARD AVER.
My" pretty girl has just graduated and
If there is any one thing in the world
that she dPM't know perfectly I wish
some one would tell me about it, so that
I could study up on that subject and now
and then confropt that tweet superior
being with my own knowledge.
But I'm afraid It's hopeless. She knows
almost everything there Is to know, and
she has just been given diploma which
The ether day I saw a row of pretty
girls receiving their rlbbon-tted roll of
honor, and the head of the school tld
something In his speech which I think
applies to our pretty girl, and which I
want her to remember.
The occasion was the graduation of the
girls in one department of the Music
School Settlement, and as Director David
Mannes, the violinist, gave them their
diplomas, he said that he hoped this
would be the first of many graduation
"Too many young people feel that once
they have graduated that settles the mat
ter. Nothing more Is expected of them,
but the real artist knows that he has to
graduate many, many times. Indeed, life
is a series of graduation days."
I want to repeat the same thing to my
pretty girl. Whatever points of perfec
tion you have attained, don't be willing
to stop there.
So many girls graduate into the state
of matrimony, for instance, and then
their effort cease. In a few year they
are dull, uninteresting wives, and one
wonders what any man ever saw In
Other graduate into business. From
that time oh they are content to be just
business girls, without thought of self
improvement, even along their special
lines of work.
Again, others, the pretty home-tay-
Ing girls, are satisfied to be just pretty,
and think that prettiness means a good
complexion, large eyes, nice teeth and
Well, It does mean that, up to the age
of 16, perhaps, but after that It means
ever o much more, for each pretty girl
1 building her character Into her face
for him who read to run away from or
It takes a good deal more than mere
physical perfection to make a pretty girl.
First of all It take a good disposition
and a sense of humor.
The pretty girl must roaster her moods,
because a mood, if its an unpleasant one.
often clings and becomes a bad habit
that Is enough to spoil the prettiest girl
in the world.
Take all those petty habits, despon
dency, peevishness, even laziness. Such
things can be conquered by a determined
effort of the will and physical exercise.
When you wake up feeling depressed
or lazy, jump up, take a quick sponge
bath and make yourself sing if you've
the slightest talent that way.
Hurry with your dressing and tidying
and get out into the open air or occupy
yourself with something besides your own
thoughts some piece of hard work you
have shirked along up to now. plunge
Into It and get it done. Leant to disci
pline your moods in this way, and every
time you do It you will find it easier the
While one sort of graduate simply
"stays put naturally, the other kind over
works, putting too much strain of brain
She Is the girt who says she doesn't
need a vacation, or who spends her vaca
tion in such a strenuous pursuit of pleas
ure that she return completely frazzled
Vacation 1 a very important thing. So
The command to take on day of rest
In each week I being alighted more and
more when one think of the hard work
we all have enjoying ourselves on Sun
day, and mtny people, especially young
girl, Hives .to a2lM.thAl the.jaimmcr
BEE: OMAHA, FRIDAY, JUNE 14, 1912.
And Now We Have a Mysterious Dame in the Case
Copyright 1813. Nation! News Assn.
ST A NffT0 PAfc PZ6
Hff HAD NT FA7N A7W6
SKfNArfy couldn't R&AD
tN MOID OF F&eCH.
p,HLLH He pfiOMO an
mem cah pAPee. ap
W piU ST 7A e
JteAO ' VlHE A
J466 1-ONOOfV A.ArMNrf
Vttto.TbuCrie oris MAiR. OP
VON -AS rtM DIES Ukjet
A 0OG MARCH OrV-
of a Pretty Girl
vacation Is the time to recuperate, not
to pur one's tired body to further feats
of physical endurance. v
Whether, you are spending your sum
mer vacation at home or in the moun
tains, at the seaside or visiting and
traveling try to make the time one of
physical benefit, mental change and rest.
Make an effort to be out of doors when
ever you can and have clothing of the
simple and sensible kind, the sort you
don't need to worry about.
Take an extra allowance of sleep. Few
young girls sleep enough anyhow. Try
nap In the middle of the day. If you
are of the energetic type make yourself
lazy. If you are Indolent use the sum
mer month to learn some kind of profit
l&to form of exerclae or a course of study
if u mmff&iSiA fA waMMiMg I
tlJ,i' rS2J 'A c'iWilli'S' - 111
A WOP GENT PROMELUS
ITLAMO WAS? SSATgO
N THE JfUBWAV AJYH
A TA G ON M I 5 COAT
TWO GAV D0G3 SBA7D
HIS Tf& COULD BE.
TWeV LOOKED AN9 LOOKED
AMD LOOKtt OHTH OME
FINALLY GOT UP AHOPtUtNQ
up TUB LAPEL OF H 15 COAT
He SAW TME Tb A NO
Pg INTFP N RC D NJt
H6 Rfe'A D, WHEM 7H
6 THE ROMANS ATt-ATAA,
LCT" UP -
and the Vacation Question.
The Sweet Girl Graduate
which will be useful to you in the fall.
Remember that the girl of 18 years Is
not as strung as the normally healthy
woman of 30 years, and that she should
conserve he;- strength ami energy during
the summer and lay in a supply of health
for the wlntsr months.
If posFible I advise her not to get
tanned, but to wear hats and veil;!, even
if they are a nuisance, not so nnj h be
cause of the complexion as because of
the eyes. The glaring sunlight is bad for
the eyes, and blinking at the sun makes
early wrinkles and ugly faces. Bathe
the face in a basin of lukewarm water
with a teaspoonful of baking soda for
prickly heat or summer rash. Put a
good handful of the soda Into the bath
tub. Tlie red spots will htal quickly.
nK-i. in m
' ',''' '
By REV. THOMAS B. GREGORY.
Jane 14, 1807. The great battle of
Frledland, fought 105 year ago today,
between the French under Napoleon and
the Russian under Alexander First,
lifted Napoleon to the height of hi great
nessa height upon
which he might
have lived and died
In undisturbed se
curity had hi good
sense been equal
to his genius.
The elder Pitt
once declared that
he would "conquer
France In America,"
and Napoleon pur
posed to "conquer
England on the
England was the great emperor' real
enemy, the only real obstacle in the way
of his ambitious purpose, and It was to
"conquer England" that he instituted the
Frledland campaign- He proposed to
conquer her by insolatlng her, and the
first step toward this end was the "fix
ing of Germany and Russia."
Napoleon kjiew men like a book, and,
In all probability, the results of Frled
land were just what he had figured on.
Beaten at Frledland, Alexander First
greed to negotiate In person with the
victor, and In Napoleon's hands he proved
to be but so much putty. They met on
the historic rah at Tilsit, and Napoleon
played with the' crar a, a child play
with a string.
The truaty of Tilsit, which was speedily
drawn up, gave Napoleon all that he asked
for. The king of Prussia was made to
resign great slices of his territory, and
the province that were left to him were
made to pay heavy sums as compensa
tion to France. The district west of' the
Elbe, with others, was formed Into the
kingdom of Westphalia and given to the
conqueror's youngest brother. Jerome.
All trade between Prussia and England
Mary Austin on
Prepared by EDWIN MAHKHAM.
Jesus Is still the most powerful per
sonality that has passed across our world.
He is the man of history and the man of
mystery. Whatever is said of him by a
strong mind has a vivid Interest for us.
So I quote with pleasure the following
paragraphs from a new volume, "Christ
n Italy," written by Mary Austin, of
California. She is speaking of Italy:
"I shouldn't have been able In this
underfed, most Christian country, to
sustain myself without the recollection
which here took on the proportions of a
revelation, that Christ nowhere said it is
good tobe sslf-starved and overworked
and 111 and untended, nor that angulch
and loss and Incompleteness and lame
legs and leprosy are blessings In dis
guise; that He never turned away any
body that applied to Him for relief on
the ground that it was good for their
spiritual development to suffer these
"What He did come promising was the
kingdom of hesven at hand; and what
ever else the kingdom mesnt to the
Hebraic imagination, It didn't mean a
modern manufacturing town, nor White-
chapel, nor the Tenderloin; for it is ex
prefsly stated that there should be none
hurt there, none hungry nor afraid, nor
n pain nor crying any more. And the
first qualification for citizenship should
be a concern to have everybody get as
much as you wanted for yourself.
"He didn't say you could get out of It
on the ground that your neighbor needed
misery as a spiritual corrective; he
hadn't, in fact, put It at any time that
misery was the evidence of anything but
the iniquity of those in authority; and
if wouldn't be accepted that you couldn't
see your way to that and the existing
social order end the economic status.
"So far as He put Himself on record
as to the economlo status, It wasn't com
plimentary; and so far as He cared, you
could have knocked the social order to
mlthereens, provided you evened up.
Christ never said of a man that his
riches signified the degree of his com
petency; if riches were a sign of any
thing, it was most likely a sign he would
go to hell. For the Carpenter believed
(having practiced poverty In His person)
that chief of the condition that bred
It is freedom for the unlimited accumu
lation of goods.
"To be rich aesumed your consent to
your neighbor being poor and to all the J
social waste it entailed. It wasn't going
to help you to explain that yuu could do
so much good with It. Merely to be
caught with it in your possession wa
the witness of your complicity. And He
The Bee by Tad
As for Russia, It was agreed that it
should be and do just what Napoleon
wanted. Napoleon's new creation In
Europe the Confedera'.lon of the Rhine,
the kingdoms of Italy, Naples, Holland,
and Westphalia were to be recognized,
and all that was put down In black and
white and wao agreed to by secret con
The bribe to Russia was her aggran
disement In the east, along with the per
mission to annex Finland from Sweden
and Maldasia and Wallachia from Tur
key. The dupe of the czar was so tickled
with these assurances that he adopted
Napoleon's blockade system against Eng
land and to obtain the adhesion of those
states which still remained open to Bri
tish trade Sweden, Denmark and Portu
gal. Such was the situation at the conclu
sion of the royal conclave on the raft at
Tilsit. It was for Napoleon the very
pinnacle of human grandeur. But sel
dom, if ever, in the whole history of the
world has a man been so powerful, so
feared, so close to earthly omnipotence.
It was a time full of glory for Napo
leon and of danger for Europe, As a
level-headed historian observes, never
were the liberties of Europe more di
rectly threatened than by this union of
the two representatives of despotic rule.
But the "RobberB of Tilsit" were reck
oning without their host. They forgot
the glorious fact that human nature 1
always adquate for any emergency, and
that the very stars in their courses fight
against (tie wrong and In favor of the
right. There are always to be found great
men who are also good and such men
In Prussia and England, and finally in
Russia Itself, combined to say the liber
ties of the people from the destruction
with which they were threatened.
The smoke of the battle of Frledland
floated away, and along with it the
glory of Napoleon and the foolishness of
Alexander, and the spirit of freedom re
mained to assert Itself In due time.
Teach ings of Jesus I
called the leading business men of his
time 'a generation of vipers.'
"I have looked a long time in such un
clear accounts of Him as are left to us,
to see if He expressed any preference
for soup kitchens, rummage sales and
doing without butter to save pennies for
Ihe missionary box, as a means of estab
lishing the kingdom of Justice and with
Judgment forever; for you might think
In view of the widespread employment "
of these means that they had been spe
cially recommended. But there isn't a
word to say that It Is a degree more
Christian to take up a collection than
to r eight-hour and living wage and
prohibitive child labor laws.
"Bo far as there Is anything in His
teaching to the contrary, you could estab
lish the Kingdom of Heaven by an act
of congress if you thought it could be
done that way; for Its salient character
istic is the reorganization of society on
the basis of your neighbor being you.
And when they asked Him, He gave them
a very practical elucidation of the fu
tility of pretending that the reorganiza
tion is alreudy effected, so long as you
have two coats and your neighbor ha
"But when you look about among Hi
people, you see that they haven't been
able to manage It. My cousin Churchly
stilt prays aloud on Sunday for Kingdom
Come; but he Is one of the prominent
men of hi community, and if the Klnd
dem dropped on him suddenly it's a
chance If he would like It."
Some Questions In Science.
Q. "Is the sum total of energy in ex
istence Increasing or decreasing?"
A This is unknown. Man may cause
energy tq change from one mode or form
to another, but there Is no annihilation
nor increase. Energy may be created or
destroyed by the Creator and the fact
escape detection in this colossal universe,
which has not yet, by any means, been
The entire problem of force, or energy,
is being studied In laboratories with re
newed activity and with the aid of in
struments of ever increasing accuracy.
Space may hold wonders yet undetected.
Thus energy Is a form not at present
known may reside there.
A number of recent experiment have
revealed effect that are Inexplicable by
any laws known to science. Thee re
searches were made in light. The re
sults of studies now being made are
awaited with great Interest. A new elec
tronic theory of light may be formulated
-that is, light may be radiating rays of
excessively minute bodies at least 1,000
time less than the hydrogen atom.
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