THE BEE; OMAHA, THURSDAY, JUNE 13, 1912. 13 The g e e'g r jjn afazire f)a T1 Fables of a ffow a Rich Woman Who Fooled the Four Hundred By DOROTHY DIX une upon a nme mere was a man wno. by hustling early and late, and always being Johnny-on-the-spot, succeeded in accumulating a stack of pelf that was an eye opener even to Wall street. Except for his tal- ent for divorcing others from their securities, the- man was quite an ordi nary creature, who preferred corned beef and cabbage to French entrees, and who desired no otner amusement than his business afforded, but his wife was a superior being, with social aspirations. Unfortunately so ciety did not seem to miss the lady's absence from it. f., 1-W , and when she tried to break into the Four Hundred, it gave hep a welcome that was so much of the Fritz that it congealed her back teeth. Now among this , worthy couple's as sets was a daughter who had grown up into a peacherino, with a willowy figure, end peroxide hair, and soulful orbs, and when her mother observed this she re turned thanks to heaven for all ner mercies,- for she had a hunch that through jdaughter'she would win out, and get to k-.'.ow all the people who did not want to know her. "This frappe society has gotten on my nerves," she' remarked to herself; "but I opine that there is still another deal com ing to me, and that I shall yet have these head liners on the run. Happily my hus band had not spent his life In doing his lellow creatures in vain, and It Is up to us to take a European coronet out of soak, and break into the closed doors with it" Thereupon she went to her husband and thus addressed him: "I feel," she said, "that is our sacred duty to give ' our daughter all the broadening influence of foreign travel and education, and that I ought to make the sacrifice of buying my By WILLIAM F. KIRK. Husband, sed Ma to Pa the other nite, when we was having dinner in a 'cafay down town, you are all the time talking about how strong you are. I am not . all the time 'talking about anything "of the kind, sed' Pa. I Tinow there is a lot of stronger men than me; here & thare you mite find one just as brave, but why do you ask? Oh. nothing, sed Ma, excep tha I want to get a look at that big gentelman' oaver In the corner, the tallest of the three gentlemen at the table. No, no, stupid, not oaver thare, sed Ma. I mean at the table whare three gentlemen is having thare dinner. Not the table whare the ladles are, you are all the time look ing at a table ware ladies are, sed Ma. Oh, I see the man now, sed V&t that is Dick Sheldon'. I know htm a long time, sed Pa. .Yes, Pa sed, he is kind of strong, I know that. But he isent the only strong man In 'the world, you know. Meening you, of course, sed Ma. Why doant you go oaver & twist his wrist down, my heero? , I will after the orowd has thinned up a little, sed Pa. I wuddent like to show up a old friend in a crowded cafay. Then Pa changed the subjeck & beegan to talk about the time that he had a quarl with a bull titer oaver in Spain in a cafay. It was a distressing affair all the way around, Pa sed. Tou see, cafay was full, & and this man cairn oaver & started for to pick a flte with me. He sed that I looked as strong as a bull. Pa sed. Thare is a lot of bull about you at that, sed Ma. Go on, dearest, wile we are lingering oaver our coffee & tel me & littel Bobbie how you choked the life cut of that squirming torador. Tell how he grew weeker kind of gradual until the crowd called for the police & had you arrested for unjustly slaying a weeker men. We are lisaening. Pal, go on. I hope you are not skeptkel about my story, sed Pa, he was kind of mad. What you are talking about is jest exackly what happened.-, I doant mean that I ac tually killed the man, Pa explained, but I gave him a lesson that he will not soon forget. Feel of that forearm, waiter, Pa sed to our waiter, & tell me if you ever felt such strength. The waiter win do nothing of the kind, sed Ma. tie will go now & bring you a cigar so that you can smoak up a littel moar. & the waiter went. Wen all of the crowd was gone ex cept our tabel ft Mister Sheldon's tabel Pa went oaver to ware he was setting & thay went to a littel table oaver neer a screen. They talked quite a wile & then we herd Pa say Let's try & hiss trend sed Well, as long at is is quiet here &' nobody is watching I will try the test onst. They they tried twisting wrists & Mister Sheldon threw Pa's forearm down three times. Pa d'.dent know we cud see it bekaus we pretended we wasent looking, so wen he caim back to the tabel he sed You see, wife, it was this way, we was exackly matched. Poor Pa. He dident like to tell the truth bee kaus then Ma would be all the time telling him 8andow. Twain and the Office Boy. Mark Twain did not cherish a fondness for the. average office boy. . He had an idea that the genua was insufferable, and invariably when the humorist sallied forth into some business office there was immediate armed hostility between him and the boy. One day Mark went to see a friend at his office,, and the office boy on guard, in icy tones, said: "Whom do you wish to see?" Mark mentioned his friend's name. "What do you want to see him about?" came next from the boy. t Mark Twain immediately froze up, and then with a geniaal smile he said: "Tll him. i) lease. I want to ask hir hand i" nly matrimony." LonUon Tld-Blta. Little Bobbie's Pa I v ' J Wise Dame Failed to Break into Society- J . Paris gowns in France instead of on Sixth avenue. "Wherefore I will take our daughter and go abroad, and while 1 am conseien tlously opposed to husband hunting as a rule, it may chance that I may run across a coat of arms that will be Just as gool. as new if regilded." Knowing the duty of an American hus band and father, the man consented, and so the lady took her daughter and hiked across the herring pond where the girl acquired a foreign accent and was taught to be ashamed of father because he wai" In trade. Mother trailed her purse like an anis seed bag all across Europe. Hungry for tune hunters were on her trail, but sho was wise to the game and led them a chase, while she looked for the right one who would be worth the price. She did not propose to invest her good dollars In a macaroni title, or a shoddy thing made in Germany and that had not been O. K.'d by the Almanach de Gotha. At last the real thing appeared on the scene. He was guaranteed as a genuine antique in the aristocracy line, for th newest thing on his ancestral estate was the fifth mortgage. The cool calmness with which he ran up bills .that he never Intended to pay was as good as an affidavit of nobility, while his blase air in standing off cred itors betrayed how long his family had been familiar with the business. He also possessed a hyphenated name that was so long that it had to be handled on a hook and ladder .truck and only used in sections. The mother was enchanted, "$ opine,'1 she said to her daughter, "that a name like that will be a jimmy with which you can break Into any American soci ety, and that as a parlor ornament the count will be a bargain at four figures." ' "But," objtcted the daughter, "I do not care for him. He has weak eyes, and a lisp,' and he makes me tired, and I should like to have a regular man for a hushand." "Foolish one." cried the mother, "any husband is liable to make you weary, but if you marry the count you will al ways have the consolation of being able to contemplate your visftlng cards and the crest on your stationary with plea sure. . So the girl .was married to the count In great splendor, and all the exclusive set that had turned mother down so hard almost broke their neck trying to get Invitations to the wedding. The girl had not been married long, however, before she went to her mother and put up a moan that she was not happy. "Unreasonable child," said lier mother with anger, "what do you expect? Is it not enough to know that you are envied by all of your old American friends be cause you possess a title? No one who marries for love is envied, and I advise you to take your medicine and try to look as if you enjoyed it, and that being a countess was a picnic. So the countess went away and culti vated a deep stage smile that ras only skin deep, but when the other, rich Ameri cans went abroad she snubbed them, and they respected 'her greatly, and when they returned they bragged about how they used to know her when she was a girl. Moral. This fable teaches that we never know who has really got a cinch in life, and that we often envy the wrong one. The Proposal It one could drag that dream of first love out of the mind of youth you would find It a fan tastic, thing, there'd be a moon in it, and twilit grass starred Married Life the Third Year By MABEL HERBERT IRXER. "Well, I've asked Griff en to dine with us Thursday." "Thursday! Oh Warren!" "What s the matter with Thursday?" "Why, dear, you said you'd give me plenty of time and today's Tuesday." 'Well, you've got two days. How much more do you want? We've got to have them some time. Might as well be Thursday." "But I hoped If you took thetli out we needn't have them here." "Of course we must have them here. I told you Griffin would ap preciate that more than anything we could do. He's got this company pretty N3 well organised now. and I believe he's going to let me in on the ground floor. Now X wnt you to have a bang-up dinner. Never mind the cost. If you apd Delia can't do it-get a woman to help." "But dear, do you think we can get up a really big dinner?" "Don't have to have a big dinner. No body wants a lot of things. Just a few special dishes end have them mighty good. We want to give them something they can't get out west. Here" taking some letters from his pocket and making notes on the back of an envelope "we'll make out the menu right now. Fresh caviar to start wlth-how does that strike you?" Helen, who had never eaten or even seen fresh caviar, could only murmur a vague assent "There's only a few place you can get the fresh. Better go to '. That's just the thing fresh cavjar. That'll be a treat. They can only get It canned out west. And he wrote it down on the envelope, "Now, what next? Clam. I suppose. Can't have much else wltft caviar. Soup? No, It's too warm we'll cut out the soup. Now what kind of Ash?" "Bluefisb?" suggested Helen uncer tainly. "Too dry. I 'have it shad reel Can't get that out west either. Chad roe and bacon. Have the bacon crisp. Now let's see what we have here (reading from the envelope). "Fresh caviar, clams, shad roe. We won't try to have an entree. Now the roast?" But the inspiration for the roast did not come. They talked over and re jected mallard duck, guinea Tien, goose and finally decided on erown roast rack of spring lamb. With the potatoes browned on the inside, this made most attractive dish. The lamb of course demanded new peas. "That's all the vegetables," as he wrote them down. "Just-the potatoes and peas. We'll not try to have too much. Now the salad." . Helen suggested endive, which was al ways her favorite salad. Warren thought dandelion with egg would be more sea sonable. But both were finally rejected In favor of the artichoke artichoke vin aigrette. Che dessert presented a most difficult problem. The ordinary lees Warren tabooed. '-A'ant something more original or Te'U cut It out." Helen got the cook book and suggested various fancy puddings and pastries, but he waved them all aside. "I've got It! Zabalonl!" 'Zebalonl?" Helen repeated blankly. with vague white flowers, dim trees, music somewhere, great frosty stars, a nightingale sing ing (even if there aren't any in the country 'round New York), "That stuff Stevens ordered at that Italian restaurant." "Oh, that was delicious! But dear. I wouldn't know how to make that." "Don't want you to make it. Get It there. Have them send It up just In time for dinner. I'll attend to that. Now what kind of cheese or do we want cheese?" "Isn't that dessert very rich?" asked Helen. "Would we want cheese with that?" "That's so. Zabaloni Is pretty rich. All right, we'll cut out the cheese, Just toffee and a cordial." "And the wine. Warren? Tou'U see to that?" "I'll look after the wine. I'll have a bottle of cocktails mixed at the club. Can't mix them right here, and the bottled kind aren't fit to drink. Grtf fen drinks Scotch. Don't think he cares for wine. I'll get some good Scotch, and some Sauterne for you and Mrs. Grlf fen. Most women like Sauterne. I'll drlpk Scotch with him." Here Warren rose, threw the envelope down on the table, yawned and stretched. "That's settled. I'll stop by the club this afternoon arid order the wine. You'd better phone about the fresh caviar this morning. They don't, keep much of that on hand. Better order It In advance." When Warren had gone, Helen first eopled the menu from the back of the envelope on to a large sheet of paper, leaving room under each dish to write out the Ingredients. Fresh Caviar Clams Shad Hoe and Bacon Crowned Roast Rack of Lamb Artichoke Vinaigrette Zebalonl Then, being very methodical little person, she made out a separate list of the grocery and market article. And still another list of the things she would have to do before the dinner, such as clean silver, wash dollies, go over table linen, polish furniture, polish floor, re pet fern, eta To Helen preparation for a dinner like this meant not only the dinner Itself, but a general house-cleaning as well. Her apartment was always immaculate. but a "company" dinner always meant SPEAKER CHAMP CLARK ENLIGHTENS HOUSE Speaker Champ Clark startled the house recently during the consideration of the conference report on the Sherwood serv ice pension bill by saying from the chair: I have It, all undo, that President Taft will sign the bill if we get It to him today," The bill was agreed to and hurried to the White House. Then friends crowded around Mr. Clark. 'What does 'ally undes" mean?" de manded Repreeentatlve Victor Murdock. "I know some Latin, but I never heard of that before." "Te, it's Latin," announced Mr. Clark. "It means 'outside of the reord,' I learned in a roundabout way that Presi dent ?aft Is going to leave the city this afternoon and that he was waiting to sign this bill. If he does not 400 or MO aged soldiers might die before he Is back." "It means 'grapevine' In dark lan guage," some one suggested. "Exactly," said the speaker. Then the gathering fell Into a discussion of Latin quotations, and the speaker demonstrated that he knew more about Horace, Cato and Virgil than all the rest. Waschlngton Correspondence Boston Transcript. Copyright. 1912, National News Assn. the girl would have only a dim glory for a face, there would he kissing of hands, and over all the dream a dusting of gold with the dim word love traced Warier Wants Helca tc Gie the Griffens at Exceptional Dinner. n extra special cleaning. And usually she worked so hard before the dinner that she was too worn out to enjoy it. "Give them something to eat," wns Warren's policy. "Feed therr. and enter tain them, and they won't care a bout anything else. You wear yourse out doing all sorts of foo! things, s'u' then you're too tired to talk to anybody whn they do come." But he preached this In vain, for al ways before they had company Helen worked herself almost 111. However, they had never had anyone to dinner of such Importance as the Grl- fens. It was through Mr. Grlffen's influ - ence that Warren's western deal had be"n successful. Now he had come on here ! torrn anotner company, ana v arren stooi I a very excellent chance of being In on the "ground floor." So Helen felt that much depended upon this dlnnw. 8he knew that Warren f't that, too, for he had never before taken the trouble to make out a menu or to Show any such Interest. He had asked her to call up about thu caviar this morning, so now she got down the telephone book and looked up the number. She knew that R-'s was a laiK and most exclusive delicatessen, although dhe had been there only a few tiroes. "Is this R 's?" when he got the num ber. "I want to see about getting some iresh caviar for Thursday." "How much will you want?" It was a man's voice, gruff and foreign. Helen hesitated. "How does It come?" "By the ounce or pound." "Oh, then, about a pound. How much will that be?" "Twelve dollars a pound." "Twelve dollars!" Helen's voice ex pressed her emaiement. "Tes, madam, fresh caviar Is $13 o pound. Did you want the canned? We can give you the canned from 2S cents up." "Oh, no, no I want the fresh, but I don't know just how much. I'll call you up about It later." Twelve dollars a pound for fresh caviar! Surely there must be seme mis take. Warren would never have ordered anything so expensive. Hurriedly she called him up at the of- tfee and told him the price. "That's all right. Tou don't expect to get fresh caviar cheap, do you? But you won't need more than a quarter of a pound. Tell him, to reserve that and I'll come by Thursday and get It myself." This Incident still further Increased Helen's feeling that much depended upon this dinner. Warren always believed in having good things to eat, but he never believed In putting on "frills," as he called it. And that he should be willing to go to so much trouble! and pay so much for a mere relish to be served be fore the clams proved the Importance of the dinner. And now, more than ever, Helen anguished over the possibility of any thing "going wrong." All day sne worked with feverish energy. She hsd sent for Mrs. Maloney, the Irish woman who often helped her, but could not wait upttl she came, so began herself the general housecleaning. It never occurred to her that the state of her nerves was of far more Importance to the success of the dinner than the washing of all the woodwork and Ihe oiling of all the floors. For probably no one would notice either the woodwork or the floors, but they would notice .he tired lines In her fane and would cer tainly Jeel her ense nervous strain, which overwork always brought. Go Helen prepared for this dinner with a reckless expenditure of much energy and strength but with very little wis dom. over it. But ah-h-h! as It sometimes la when It comes true that dream told over FrencL breal and silverware, with the towers Oi Gotham and drifting Great Kaleidoscope Overhead- Opening of the Summer Flight Spec tacle That Hature Offers Free to All is! vx if I By GARRKTT Wher. I am tireJ, worried, worn out, and uninspired by the least thought or ambition, 1 go out, If the evening is serene, and pause long under the stars. I get a rest for the head, and stay- star- j n(? 4t tne special 1 above me with ! more interest and wonder than a ChHd experiencing an exhibition of motion pictures. The heavens are the most marvel ous of all kaleido scopes. Tlist word Is not heard much now adays, and the little Instrument for which It stands Is seldom seen. When I was a boy almost every household had oe. The derivation of the name from the Greek words kalos, "beautiful," eldoa, "an appearance." and skopeo, "I view" reveals Its nature, and tells Its story. Three strips of black glass, two Inches wide and six or eight long, are set edge to edge, lengthwise, making a triangular enclosure. They are then fixed In a round pasteboard tube, with a peephole et one end, and a pair of transparent glass circles, placed a quar ter of an Inch apart at the outer end. The outside circle la of ground glass. The space between these circles is partly filled with broken bits of varicolored glass, which tumble about among one another as the Instrument Is turned on its horlsontal axis. The polished sldea of the long tri angle reflect multiple Images of the bits of glass when the kaleidoscope s held with ts outer end toward a bright light, and marvellously beautiful com binations of color and exquisite forms are revealed to the eye lopklng through the peephole. As the Instrument Is turned the bits of glass fall continually Into new shapes, so pleasing and sur passing that they often call forth cries Of admiration. It Is hardly possible to give a child a more entertaining, and at the same time useful, toy than a kaleidoscope, and U requires very little skill to make one. It Is said that makers of artistic designs sometimes employ kaleidoscopes to stimulate their Invention, and suggest novel combination. To the discerning eye the starry heavens are a gigantic kaleidoscope. But we, whose lives are but a glimpse, see only one of Its Infinite combinations. All Is In motion, but all seems to rest. The three score yesrs and ten of a man's life afford him but a single peep Into the wonder tube of the universe. We know that It Is endlessly turning, but we should need to live and watch for a million years In order to see Its many hued and infinitely diverse stars falling In ceaseless showers from one combina tion to another, and the constellations rolling from form to form like clouds or sparks. Here the marvellous power of the Imagination, guided by science, aids us, We can look both backward and for ward in time and see the heavens as they have been and as they will be When you look at the sky tonight you will Dercelve. low In the west, Leo the lion, with Its principal starB form tng the figure of a sickle. High over head you will catch sight of the "Big Dipper," In Ursa Major. No name could be more truly descriptive of the figure By Nell Brinkley factory smoke outside the ecru restaurant curtains. But who dares to say that the last picture Is not as well beloved by romance as the first? P. SERVISS. shaped by its seven stars. Just in the south, well above the horizon, shines the beautiful white star Splca, which would be a far greater sun than ours if we could approach near to it. Spica. is surrounded with many stars which the snclents Imagined to resemble the figure of a white-robed maiden, Virgo, and they had a legend that Virgo represented the goddess of justice, who fled from the earth, where she reigned In the golden age, and found refuge in heaven, where alone justice now rules. Between the Dipper and Virgo, but eastward of a line Joining them, glows the magniflrent Arcturus, a star which ' turns red when seen through the mists of the horizon, and which w'a worship ped for ages In less enlightened times. Arcturus Is the chief of another con stellation called Bootes, or the "Bear Driver," because he seems to chase tho huge bear, Ursa Major, round the pole. East of Bootes is a splendid circlet of stars named the Northern Crown, or Ariadne's Diadem. It Is a constella tion whose mythological history runs away back to the expedition of Jason In search of the golden fleece. Tou will find not the slightest difficulty In recognising It. Below the Crown In the northeast la the constellation Hercules, end below that again Appollo's Lyre, ad orned with one of the most beautiful of all the stars, the diamond bright Vega, or Alpha Lyrae. Half round the pole, between Ursa Major. Hercules and the Lyre colls the great dragon, Draco, a figure that stirred the Imagination of the ancients to its depths and gave rise to many legends that will never disappear from literature. Low In the northeast, rising with the Milky Way, you will see the shapely form of the Northern Cross In the constellation Cygnus. Such Is the night sky of June. It Is a single, brief glance Into the kaleidoscope of the universe. Now, call science and Imagination to your aid. and you can represent to yourself the revolution that it has undergone, and will undergo In the future. Not one of the splendid constellations which we now admire will remain a few hundred thousand years hence. Apollo's Lyre will dissolve, and men will no longer admire the ' inter twining rays of Its stars, which now seem the glitter of silver strings, tremb ling with the muslo of the spheres. The Big Dipper will flatten out as If the mill stone of the ages were rolling over it. Draco will unwind his colls, and flit sway like a wisp of mist. The Crown will fall apart and all Its gems will be scattered. Arcturus will fly away from Bootes, and the whole constellation will drift Into some other shape. The virgin goddess of Justice will flee again, as If sn lion age had dawned In the heav ens. And the great Lion, which has looked down, apparency unchanged,' upon the whole course of known history, measured by Its petty centuries, will vanish like the vision of a dreamer. But there will be constellations in the far future, as there hive always been constellations. Many of them may be more beautiful and wonderful than those that now exist. The possibilities of this vast kaleidoscope are illimitable and It rolls forever. The astronomer can, even how, foretell some of the Bhapes that will be formed by the stars In future eons, for he has measured the speed and ascertained the direction in which many of them are traveling, at a velocity which sometimes amounts. to hundreds of miles In a second. Can anything afford a better proof of the immensity of the universe and the Insignificance of the earth? Let us not think that these remote things do not concern us. Everything concerns us. because there is something In us which transcends both time and space. f' To Men X By ELLA WHEELER WILCOX Sirs, when you pity us, I say You waste your pity. Let it stay Well corked and stored upon your shelves. Until you need It for yourselves. We do appreciate God's thought In forming you, before He brought Us Into life. His art was crude, But, oh, so virile in Its rude. Large, elemental strength; and then He learned His trade in making men; Learned how to mix and mould the clay And fashion in a finer way. How fine that skilful way can be You neefl but lift your eyes to see; And we are glad God placed you there, ' To lift your eyes and find us fair. Apprentice labor, though you were. He made you great enough to stir The best and deepest depths of us. And we are glad He made you thus. v.- L Ay! We are glad of many things. . i, God strung our hearts with such finw ' strings , The least breath moves them, and we hear "'f Muslo where silence greets your ears. ' , .,, 'We suffer so?" but women's souls. Like violet powder dropped on coals. Give forth their best In anguish. Oh, The subtle secrets that we know, : ,: ui j"y in oorrow, strange aeugnis u. Of ecstasy In paln-filled nights, ,: "i And mysteries of gain and loss , Known but to Christ upon the CrossI .k. Our tears are pitiful to you? Look how tha heaven-reflecting dew .; Dissolves Its life. in tears. The sand '' Meanwhile lies hard upon the strand. . How could your pity find a place For us, the mothers of the race? ,w Men may be fathers unaware, " So poor the title is you wear; " . yt But mothers? who that crown adorns, - Knows all Its mingled blooms and thorns; ; " And she whose feet that path hath trod ' , Has walked upon the heights with God. . Y No, offer us not pity's cup. "' j ncro is no looKing aown or up Between us; eye looks straight in ej'e Porn equals, kc we live and die.' " Copyright, 1912, ' by American-Journal Examiner, - - A ' 3'-