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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (June 13, 1912)
THE BEE; OMAHA, THURSDAY, JUNE 13, 1912.
The g e e'g r jjn afazire f)a
Fables of a
ffow a Rich Woman Who
Fooled the Four Hundred
By DOROTHY DIX
une upon a nme mere was a man wno.
by hustling early and late, and always
being Johnny-on-the-spot, succeeded in
accumulating a stack of pelf that was an
eye opener even to Wall street.
Except for his tal-
ent for divorcing
others from their
securities, the- man
was quite an ordi
nary creature, who
beef and cabbage
to French entrees,
and who desired no
than his business
afforded, but his
wife was a superior
being, with social
ciety did not seem
to miss the lady's
absence from it.
f., 1-W ,
and when she tried to break into the
Four Hundred, it gave hep a welcome
that was so much of the Fritz that it
congealed her back teeth.
Now among this , worthy couple's as
sets was a daughter who had grown up
into a peacherino, with a willowy figure,
end peroxide hair, and soulful orbs, and
when her mother observed this she re
turned thanks to heaven for all ner mercies,-
for she had a hunch that through
jdaughter'she would win out, and get to
k-.'.ow all the people who did not want to
"This frappe society has gotten on my
nerves," she' remarked to herself; "but I
opine that there is still another deal com
ing to me, and that I shall yet have these
head liners on the run. Happily my hus
band had not spent his life In doing his
lellow creatures in vain, and It Is up
to us to take a European coronet out
of soak, and break into the closed doors
Thereupon she went to her husband and
thus addressed him: "I feel," she said,
"that is our sacred duty to give ' our
daughter all the broadening influence of
foreign travel and education, and that I
ought to make the sacrifice of buying my
By WILLIAM F. KIRK.
Husband, sed Ma to Pa the other nite,
when we was having dinner in a 'cafay
down town, you are all the time talking
about how strong you are. I am not . all
the time 'talking about anything "of the
kind, sed' Pa. I Tinow there is a lot of
stronger men than me; here & thare you
mite find one just as brave, but why do
Oh. nothing, sed Ma, excep tha I
want to get a look at that big gentelman'
oaver In the corner, the tallest of the
three gentlemen at the table. No, no,
stupid, not oaver thare, sed Ma. I mean
at the table whare three gentlemen is
having thare dinner. Not the table whare
the ladles are, you are all the time look
ing at a table ware ladies are, sed Ma.
Oh, I see the man now, sed V&t that is
Dick Sheldon'. I know htm a long time,
sed Pa. .Yes, Pa sed, he is kind of strong,
I know that. But he isent the only
strong man In 'the world, you know.
Meening you, of course, sed Ma. Why
doant you go oaver & twist his wrist
down, my heero? ,
I will after the orowd has thinned up a
little, sed Pa. I wuddent like to show up
a old friend in a crowded cafay. Then
Pa changed the subjeck & beegan to talk
about the time that he had a quarl with a
bull titer oaver in Spain in a cafay. It
was a distressing affair all the way
around, Pa sed. Tou see, cafay was full,
& and this man cairn oaver & started for
to pick a flte with me. He sed that I
looked as strong as a bull. Pa sed.
Thare is a lot of bull about you at that,
sed Ma. Go on, dearest, wile we are
lingering oaver our coffee & tel me &
littel Bobbie how you choked the life
cut of that squirming torador. Tell how
he grew weeker kind of gradual until
the crowd called for the police & had
you arrested for unjustly slaying a
weeker men. We are lisaening. Pal, go on.
I hope you are not skeptkel about my
story, sed Pa, he was kind of mad. What
you are talking about is jest exackly
what happened.-, I doant mean that I ac
tually killed the man, Pa explained, but
I gave him a lesson that he will not
soon forget. Feel of that forearm,
waiter, Pa sed to our waiter, & tell me
if you ever felt such strength.
The waiter win do nothing of the kind,
sed Ma. tie will go now & bring you a
cigar so that you can smoak up a littel
moar. & the waiter went.
Wen all of the crowd was gone ex
cept our tabel ft Mister Sheldon's tabel
Pa went oaver to ware he was setting
& thay went to a littel table oaver neer
a screen. They talked quite a wile &
then we herd Pa say Let's try & hiss
trend sed Well, as long at is is quiet
here &' nobody is watching I will try
the test onst. They they tried twisting
wrists & Mister Sheldon threw Pa's
forearm down three times. Pa d'.dent
know we cud see it bekaus we pretended
we wasent looking, so wen he caim back
to the tabel he sed You see, wife, it was
this way, we was exackly matched. Poor
Pa. He dident like to tell the truth bee
kaus then Ma would be all the time
telling him 8andow.
Twain and the Office Boy.
Mark Twain did not cherish a fondness
for the. average office boy. . He had an
idea that the genua was insufferable, and
invariably when the humorist sallied
forth into some business office there was
immediate armed hostility between him
and the boy.
One day Mark went to see a friend at
his office,, and the office boy on guard,
in icy tones, said:
"Whom do you wish to see?"
Mark mentioned his friend's name.
"What do you want to see him about?"
came next from the boy. t
Mark Twain immediately froze up, and
then with a geniaal smile he said:
"Tll him. i) lease. I want to ask hir
hand i" nly matrimony." LonUon Tld-Blta.
Little Bobbie's Pa I
v ' J
Failed to Break into Society-
. Paris gowns
in France instead of on
"Wherefore I will take our daughter
and go abroad, and while 1 am conseien
tlously opposed to husband hunting as a
rule, it may chance that I may run across
a coat of arms that will be Just as gool.
as new if regilded."
Knowing the duty of an American hus
band and father, the man consented, and
so the lady took her daughter and hiked
across the herring pond where the girl
acquired a foreign accent and was taught
to be ashamed of father because he wai"
Mother trailed her purse like an anis
seed bag all across Europe. Hungry for
tune hunters were on her trail, but sho
was wise to the game and led them a
chase, while she looked for the right one
who would be worth the price. She did
not propose to invest her good dollars In
a macaroni title, or a shoddy thing made
in Germany and that had not been O.
K.'d by the Almanach de Gotha.
At last the real thing appeared on the
scene. He was guaranteed as a genuine
antique in the aristocracy line, for th
newest thing on his ancestral estate was
the fifth mortgage.
The cool calmness with which he ran
up bills .that he never Intended to pay
was as good as an affidavit of nobility,
while his blase air in standing off cred
itors betrayed how long his family had
been familiar with the business. He also
possessed a hyphenated name that was
so long that it had to be handled on a
hook and ladder .truck and only used in
The mother was enchanted, "$ opine,'1
she said to her daughter, "that a name
like that will be a jimmy with which
you can break Into any American soci
ety, and that as a parlor ornament the
count will be a bargain at four figures."
' "But," objtcted the daughter, "I do
not care for him. He has weak eyes, and
a lisp,' and he makes me tired, and I
should like to have a regular man for
"Foolish one." cried the mother, "any
husband is liable to make you weary,
but if you marry the count you will al
ways have the consolation of being able
to contemplate your visftlng cards and
the crest on your stationary with plea
So the girl .was married to the count
In great splendor, and all the exclusive
set that had turned mother down so hard
almost broke their neck trying to get
Invitations to the wedding.
The girl had not been married long,
however, before she went to her mother
and put up a moan that she was not
"Unreasonable child," said lier mother
with anger, "what do you expect? Is it
not enough to know that you are envied
by all of your old American friends be
cause you possess a title? No one who
marries for love is envied, and I advise
you to take your medicine and try to
look as if you enjoyed it, and that being
a countess was a picnic.
So the countess went away and culti
vated a deep stage smile that ras only
skin deep, but when the other, rich Ameri
cans went abroad she snubbed them, and
they respected 'her greatly, and when
they returned they bragged about how
they used to know her when she was a
Moral. This fable teaches that we never
know who has really got a cinch in life,
and that we often envy the wrong one.
It one could drag that dream
of first love out of the mind of
youth you would find It a fan
tastic, thing, there'd be a moon
in it, and twilit grass starred
Married Life the Third Year
By MABEL HERBERT IRXER.
"Well, I've asked Griff en to dine with
"Thursday! Oh Warren!"
"What s the matter with Thursday?"
"Why, dear, you said you'd give me
plenty of time and
'Well, you've got
two days. How
much more do you
want? We've got to
have them some
time. Might as well
"But I hoped If
you took thetli out
we needn't have
"Of course we
must have them
here. I told you
Griffin would ap
preciate that more
than anything we
could do. He's got
this company pretty
well organised now.
and I believe he's going to let me in on
the ground floor. Now X wnt you to
have a bang-up dinner. Never mind the
cost. If you apd Delia can't do it-get
a woman to help."
"But dear, do you think we can get
up a really big dinner?"
"Don't have to have a big dinner. No
body wants a lot of things. Just a few
special dishes end have them mighty
good. We want to give them something
they can't get out west. Here" taking
some letters from his pocket and making
notes on the back of an envelope
"we'll make out the menu right now.
Fresh caviar to start wlth-how does
that strike you?"
Helen, who had never eaten or even seen
fresh caviar, could only murmur a vague
"There's only a few place you can get
the fresh. Better go to '. That's
just the thing fresh cavjar. That'll be a
treat. They can only get It canned out
And he wrote it down on the envelope,
"Now, what next? Clam. I suppose.
Can't have much else wltft caviar. Soup?
No, It's too warm we'll cut out the soup.
Now what kind of Ash?"
"Bluefisb?" suggested Helen uncer
tainly. "Too dry. I 'have it shad reel Can't
get that out west either. Chad roe and
bacon. Have the bacon crisp. Now let's
see what we have here (reading from the
envelope). "Fresh caviar, clams, shad
roe. We won't try to have an entree.
Now the roast?"
But the inspiration for the roast did
not come. They talked over and re
jected mallard duck, guinea Tien, goose
and finally decided on erown roast rack
of spring lamb. With the potatoes
browned on the inside, this made
most attractive dish. The lamb of course
demanded new peas.
"That's all the vegetables," as he
wrote them down. "Just-the potatoes
and peas. We'll not try to have too
much. Now the salad." .
Helen suggested endive, which was al
ways her favorite salad. Warren thought
dandelion with egg would be more sea
sonable. But both were finally rejected
In favor of the artichoke artichoke vin
aigrette. Che dessert presented a most difficult
problem. The ordinary lees Warren
tabooed. '-A'ant something more original
or Te'U cut It out."
Helen got the cook book and suggested
various fancy puddings and pastries, but
he waved them all aside.
"I've got It! Zabalonl!"
'Zebalonl?" Helen repeated blankly.
with vague white flowers, dim
trees, music somewhere, great
frosty stars, a nightingale sing
ing (even if there aren't any in
the country 'round New York),
"That stuff Stevens ordered at that
"Oh, that was delicious! But dear. I
wouldn't know how to make that."
"Don't want you to make it. Get It
there. Have them send It up just In
time for dinner. I'll attend to that. Now
what kind of cheese or do we want
"Isn't that dessert very rich?" asked
Helen. "Would we want cheese with
"That's so. Zabaloni Is pretty rich. All
right, we'll cut out the cheese, Just
toffee and a cordial."
"And the wine. Warren? Tou'U see to
"I'll look after the wine. I'll have a
bottle of cocktails mixed at the club.
Can't mix them right here, and the
bottled kind aren't fit to drink. Grtf
fen drinks Scotch. Don't think he cares
for wine. I'll get some good Scotch, and
some Sauterne for you and Mrs. Grlf
fen. Most women like Sauterne. I'll
drlpk Scotch with him."
Here Warren rose, threw the envelope
down on the table, yawned and
"That's settled. I'll stop by the club
this afternoon arid order the wine. You'd
better phone about the fresh caviar this
morning. They don't, keep much of that
on hand. Better order It In advance."
When Warren had gone, Helen first
eopled the menu from the back of the
envelope on to a large sheet of paper,
leaving room under each dish to write
out the Ingredients.
Shad Hoe and Bacon
Crowned Roast Rack of Lamb
Then, being very methodical little
person, she made out a separate list of
the grocery and market article. And
still another list of the things she would
have to do before the dinner, such as
clean silver, wash dollies, go over table
linen, polish furniture, polish floor, re
pet fern, eta
To Helen preparation for a dinner like
this meant not only the dinner Itself,
but a general house-cleaning as well.
Her apartment was always immaculate.
but a "company" dinner always meant
SPEAKER CHAMP CLARK
Speaker Champ Clark startled the house
recently during the consideration of the
conference report on the Sherwood serv
ice pension bill by saying from the chair:
I have It, all undo, that President Taft
will sign the bill if we get It to him
The bill was agreed to and hurried to
the White House. Then friends crowded
around Mr. Clark.
'What does 'ally undes" mean?" de
manded Repreeentatlve Victor Murdock.
"I know some Latin, but I never heard
of that before."
"Te, it's Latin," announced Mr. Clark.
"It means 'outside of the reord,' I
learned in a roundabout way that Presi
dent ?aft Is going to leave the city this
afternoon and that he was waiting to
sign this bill. If he does not 400 or MO
aged soldiers might die before he Is
"It means 'grapevine' In dark lan
guage," some one suggested.
"Exactly," said the speaker.
Then the gathering fell Into a discussion
of Latin quotations, and the speaker
demonstrated that he knew more about
Horace, Cato and Virgil than all the rest.
Waschlngton Correspondence Boston
Copyright. 1912, National News Assn.
the girl would have only a dim
glory for a face, there would he
kissing of hands, and over all
the dream a dusting of gold
with the dim word love traced
Warier Wants Helca tc Gie the
Griffens at Exceptional Dinner.
n extra special cleaning. And usually
she worked so hard before the dinner
that she was too worn out to enjoy it.
"Give them something to eat," wns
Warren's policy. "Feed therr. and enter
tain them, and they won't care a
bout anything else. You wear yourse
out doing all sorts of foo! things, s'u'
then you're too tired to talk to anybody
whn they do come."
But he preached this In vain, for al
ways before they had company Helen
worked herself almost 111.
However, they had never had anyone
to dinner of such Importance as the Grl-
fens. It was through Mr. Grlffen's influ -
ence that Warren's western deal had be"n
successful. Now he had come on here !
torrn anotner company, ana v arren stooi
I a very excellent chance of being In on
the "ground floor."
So Helen felt that much depended upon
this dlnnw. 8he knew that Warren f't
that, too, for he had never before taken
the trouble to make out a menu or to
Show any such Interest.
He had asked her to call up about thu
caviar this morning, so now she got down
the telephone book and looked up the
number. She knew that R-'s was a laiK
and most exclusive delicatessen, although
dhe had been there only a few tiroes.
"Is this R 's?" when he got the num
ber. "I want to see about getting some
iresh caviar for Thursday."
"How much will you want?" It was a
man's voice, gruff and foreign.
Helen hesitated. "How does It come?"
"By the ounce or pound."
"Oh, then, about a pound. How much
will that be?"
"Twelve dollars a pound."
"Twelve dollars!" Helen's voice ex
pressed her emaiement.
"Tes, madam, fresh caviar Is $13 o
pound. Did you want the canned? We
can give you the canned from 2S cents
"Oh, no, no I want the fresh, but I
don't know just how much. I'll call you
up about It later."
Twelve dollars a pound for fresh
caviar! Surely there must be seme mis
take. Warren would never have ordered
anything so expensive.
Hurriedly she called him up at the of-
tfee and told him the price.
"That's all right. Tou don't expect to
get fresh caviar cheap, do you? But you
won't need more than a quarter of a
pound. Tell him, to reserve that and I'll
come by Thursday and get It myself."
This Incident still further Increased
Helen's feeling that much depended upon
this dinner. Warren always believed in
having good things to eat, but he never
believed In putting on "frills," as he
called it. And that he should be willing
to go to so much trouble! and pay so
much for a mere relish to be served be
fore the clams proved the Importance of
And now, more than ever, Helen
anguished over the possibility of any
thing "going wrong." All day sne worked
with feverish energy. She hsd sent for
Mrs. Maloney, the Irish woman who often
helped her, but could not wait upttl she
came, so began herself the general
It never occurred to her that the state
of her nerves was of far more Importance
to the success of the dinner than the
washing of all the woodwork and Ihe
oiling of all the floors. For probably no
one would notice either the woodwork or
the floors, but they would notice .he
tired lines In her fane and would cer
tainly Jeel her ense nervous strain,
which overwork always brought.
Go Helen prepared for this dinner with
a reckless expenditure of much energy
and strength but with very little wis
dom. over it. But ah-h-h! as It
sometimes la when It comes true
that dream told over FrencL
breal and silverware, with the
towers Oi Gotham and drifting
Great Kaleidoscope Overhead-
Opening of the Summer Flight Spec
tacle That Hature Offers Free to All
Wher. I am tireJ, worried, worn out,
and uninspired by the least thought or
ambition, 1 go out, If the evening is
serene, and pause long under the stars.
I get a rest for the
head, and stay- star-
j n(? 4t tne special
1 above me with
! more interest and
wonder than a
The heavens are
the most marvel
ous of all kaleido
scopes. Tlist word Is not
heard much now
adays, and the little
Instrument for which It stands Is seldom
seen. When I was a boy almost every
household had oe. The derivation of
the name from the Greek words kalos,
"beautiful," eldoa, "an appearance." and
skopeo, "I view" reveals Its nature, and
tells Its story.
Three strips of black glass, two
Inches wide and six or eight long, are
set edge to edge, lengthwise, making a
triangular enclosure. They are then
fixed In a round pasteboard tube, with
a peephole et one end, and a pair of
transparent glass circles, placed a quar
ter of an Inch apart at the outer end.
The outside circle la of ground glass.
The space between these circles is partly
filled with broken bits of varicolored
glass, which tumble about among one
another as the Instrument Is turned on
its horlsontal axis.
The polished sldea of the long tri
angle reflect multiple Images of the
bits of glass when the kaleidoscope s
held with ts outer end toward a bright
light, and marvellously beautiful com
binations of color and exquisite forms
are revealed to the eye lopklng through
the peephole. As the Instrument Is
turned the bits of glass fall continually
Into new shapes, so pleasing and sur
passing that they often call forth cries
It Is hardly possible to give a child a
more entertaining, and at the same time
useful, toy than a kaleidoscope, and U
requires very little skill to make one.
It Is said that makers of artistic designs
sometimes employ kaleidoscopes to
stimulate their Invention, and suggest
To the discerning eye the starry
heavens are a gigantic kaleidoscope. But
we, whose lives are but a glimpse, see
only one of Its Infinite combinations.
All Is In motion, but all seems to rest.
The three score yesrs and ten of a man's
life afford him but a single peep Into
the wonder tube of the universe. We
know that It Is endlessly turning, but
we should need to live and watch for
a million years In order to see Its many
hued and infinitely diverse stars falling
In ceaseless showers from one combina
tion to another, and the constellations
rolling from form to form like clouds or
Here the marvellous power of the
Imagination, guided by science, aids us,
We can look both backward and for
ward in time and see the heavens as
they have been and as they will be
When you look at the sky tonight you
will Dercelve. low In the west, Leo
the lion, with Its principal starB form
tng the figure of a sickle. High over
head you will catch sight of the "Big
Dipper," In Ursa Major. No name could
be more truly descriptive of the figure
By Nell Brinkley
factory smoke outside the ecru
But who dares to say that
the last picture Is not as well
beloved by romance as the first?
shaped by its seven stars. Just in the
south, well above the horizon, shines the
beautiful white star Splca, which would
be a far greater sun than ours if we
could approach near to it. Spica. is
surrounded with many stars which the
snclents Imagined to resemble the figure
of a white-robed maiden, Virgo, and
they had a legend that Virgo represented
the goddess of justice, who fled from
the earth, where she reigned In the
golden age, and found refuge in heaven,
where alone justice now rules.
Between the Dipper and Virgo, but
eastward of a line Joining them, glows
the magniflrent Arcturus, a star which '
turns red when seen through the mists
of the horizon, and which w'a worship
ped for ages In less enlightened times.
Arcturus Is the chief of another con
stellation called Bootes, or the "Bear
Driver," because he seems to chase tho
huge bear, Ursa Major, round the pole.
East of Bootes is a splendid circlet of
stars named the Northern Crown, or
Ariadne's Diadem. It Is a constella
tion whose mythological history runs
away back to the expedition of Jason
In search of the golden fleece. Tou
will find not the slightest difficulty In
recognising It. Below the Crown In the
northeast la the constellation Hercules,
end below that again Appollo's Lyre, ad
orned with one of the most beautiful of
all the stars, the diamond bright Vega,
or Alpha Lyrae. Half round the pole,
between Ursa Major. Hercules and the
Lyre colls the great dragon, Draco, a
figure that stirred the Imagination of the
ancients to its depths and gave rise to
many legends that will never disappear
from literature. Low In the northeast,
rising with the Milky Way, you will see
the shapely form of the Northern Cross
In the constellation Cygnus.
Such Is the night sky of June. It Is a
single, brief glance Into the kaleidoscope
of the universe. Now, call science and
Imagination to your aid. and you can
represent to yourself the revolution that
it has undergone, and will undergo In
the future. Not one of the splendid
constellations which we now admire will
remain a few hundred thousand years
hence. Apollo's Lyre will dissolve, and
men will no longer admire the ' inter
twining rays of Its stars, which now
seem the glitter of silver strings, tremb
ling with the muslo of the spheres. The
Big Dipper will flatten out as If the mill
stone of the ages were rolling over it.
Draco will unwind his colls, and flit
sway like a wisp of mist. The Crown
will fall apart and all Its gems will be
scattered. Arcturus will fly away from
Bootes, and the whole constellation will
drift Into some other shape. The virgin
goddess of Justice will flee again, as If
sn lion age had dawned In the heav
ens. And the great Lion, which has
looked down, apparency unchanged,'
upon the whole course of known history,
measured by Its petty centuries, will
vanish like the vision of a dreamer.
But there will be constellations in the
far future, as there hive always been
constellations. Many of them may be
more beautiful and wonderful than those
that now exist. The possibilities of this
vast kaleidoscope are illimitable and It
rolls forever. The astronomer can, even
how, foretell some of the Bhapes that
will be formed by the stars In future
eons, for he has measured the speed and
ascertained the direction in which many
of them are traveling, at a velocity
which sometimes amounts. to hundreds
of miles In a second.
Can anything afford a better proof of
the immensity of the universe and the
Insignificance of the earth? Let us not
think that these remote things do not
concern us. Everything concerns us.
because there is something In us which
transcends both time and space.
By ELLA WHEELER WILCOX
Sirs, when you pity us, I say
You waste your pity. Let it stay
Well corked and stored upon
Until you need It for yourselves.
We do appreciate God's thought
In forming you, before He brought
Us Into life. His art was crude,
But, oh, so virile in Its rude.
Large, elemental strength; and then
He learned His trade in making men;
Learned how to mix and mould the clay
And fashion in a finer way.
How fine that skilful way can be
You neefl but lift your eyes to see;
And we are glad God placed you there, '
To lift your eyes and find us fair.
Apprentice labor, though you were.
He made you great enough to stir
The best and deepest depths of us.
And we are glad He made you thus.
Ay! We are glad of many things. . i,
God strung our hearts with such finw '
The least breath moves them, and we
Muslo where silence greets your ears. ' , .,,
'We suffer so?" but women's souls.
Like violet powder dropped on coals.
Give forth their best In anguish. Oh,
The subtle secrets that we know, : ,:
ui j"y in oorrow, strange aeugnis u.
Of ecstasy In paln-filled nights, ,: "i
And mysteries of gain and loss ,
Known but to Christ upon the CrossI .k.
Our tears are pitiful to you?
Look how tha heaven-reflecting dew .;
Dissolves Its life. in tears. The sand ''
Meanwhile lies hard upon the strand. .
How could your pity find a place
For us, the mothers of the race? ,w
Men may be fathers unaware, "
So poor the title is you wear; " . yt
But mothers? who that crown adorns, -
Knows all Its mingled blooms and thorns; ; "
And she whose feet that path hath trod ' ,
Has walked upon the heights with God. . Y
No, offer us not pity's cup. "'
j ncro is no looKing aown or up
Between us; eye looks straight in ej'e
Porn equals, kc we live and die.' "
Copyright, 1912, '
by American-Journal Examiner, -
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