it -
SILK HAT HARRY'S DIVORCE SUIT -:-
I f. :. Fables of the Wise Dame , 111 F9 1 f ' The Manicure Lady
One upon a trm then was a young
maid who prided herself upon being a
high browed proposition who waa superior
to all of tha waakneasaa of bar sex.
"If then la one
thing that makes ma
dead tired." ahe
would say. "It I the
vanity of women
and tha way they
fall fur flatten.
Anything roes with
them to lone as It
Is sugar-coated, and
they never care
what you are feed
ing them on ao long
aa It tastes like
taffy.
'It also gives ma a
pain to think that
Immoral creature
apead the hours
that they might de
vote to -a discussion
each other with hot air, and asking 'ot
ducky Is ooT"
'Thank heaven I do not poiaess that
kluderbartsn class of near. Intellect. The
very 'thouglit of a Jolly Is abhorrent to
me. and the man who wants to make a
bit with ma will be the wlss guy not
of tha serious problems of life In fanning
to psss me out' the sugared chestnuts.
f I :! Jiot r4, for them,,
Talso apprehend that any song and
dunce about being the only one he ever
loved, will not get me. tor J apprehend
that, with the masculine persuasion It !
always the lsst female and not the first
Who pulls down the orange blossoms. -
"Likewise I opine that I should not
cars to-waste time holding hands, while
as for kissing my knowledge of bacteriology-
teaches me that, besides being
silly, osculation is full of microbes. 80
It's me for tha decollete truth, and a
courtship based In Intellect snd reason."
'Now tha maid was not strong on good
looks, but sho posaeased a bank account
of bar ossv. and If aha had. been only a
commons or garden variety of girl then
would have been men hot-footing It after
her, but her sentiments scared off all of
the sternar sex, and It began to look as
It a career of pure Intellect whs a frost
for a female. J
At last 'however, an on sophistic ted
college professor strolled into that neck
of ths woods, and as soon as ha heard
of the maiden's lofty views, ha sat out
la pursuit ut her.
. "At last," be cried. "I havs found tha
affinity I havs . been seeking- female
creature whs doss not expect a man to
r
' The Right
By HfcATIUCK FAIRFAX. '
Boms write the'.r songs
more iusL
In marble; rhe.
Stoop d down serene snd wrote .teem
in dust. '!
Trod under foot, ths sport of every wind.
8aept Hum ths earth and blotted from
his mind. - ' '
There, secret lu the Slave, hs bsda
them lis, .
And grieved they could not 'scaoa tha
iUmlshty eye. , . MAUOE.N.
It has happened' very often thst A man
who want to forget' his srrongs Is de
ls led permission by bis friends. '
"la a foolish, sentimental wsy they
feel thst they must prove their friend
ship by sympathy. They greet the men
mho has been wronged In this wsy: .
'. "How an your scars this morning T"
4 Naturally, hs relates ths story at how
they wen Inflicted, snd relates It many
. times, enlarging each Urns on his s aguish
f spirit and body and tha injuatlcs ot
the one who wounded him.
They are. -compelling him to write bis
wrongs," tf 'not In msrbls, in at least
something more tasting tl.an dust that
will be twept by every wind.''
Their sympathy Is making his griev
ance more vital, more painful and mon
lasting. "
, To bis shsma Ut It be known that hs
enjoys their sympathy, and develops an
eppeUte-tiiat demands it.' ' "
They an encouraging hi "weakness by
refuelnjr- !tlm the right to forget
' This weakness la not an exclusive char-,
actciiaiic-of ths man. Women aad girls
have their little wrongs, and other
womeb and girls salute them with solici
tations eeacenJng them
; And again the story grows by retelling
and again' ens wha sasald writs har
troubles , dust Is cnewaraged to write
them In' ms.ble.
I bag of my girls that they demand ths '
right t forgst. and grant to others ut t AlMTaivtraity Student eoandl as rspre
tftelr sex ths sams privilege. .ants tin af tha atedlcal oXiege. by th-
ny aaman tooare sua ay a rsatai j
at yesterday's storm?
- Why weaken tha mind with a burden
f a grievance, and kssp that grlsvaaoa
alive by isteUing. "
The (geeg n jyfafazine f)
By DOROTHY DIX. 1 . n g? BJ If v a JKA,
perjure bis soul passing out compliments
about bar pulchritude, and who would
rather listen to him spiel about literature
and art than tout bar charms, and I In
tend to cinch this good thing while I
nan."
"Nobis crest ure," ha said to her. ."be
mine, for I perceive that you are so
superior to your set that It will not be
necessary for me to push ths velvet and
hove the salve with you, and that, you
will not be foolish enough to expect me
to pay you any of those little attentions
that would dlstnct my attention from my
work.
1 will not tell you that yen are ths
only one because then are others. Nor
will I say that It you turn me down it '
blast my lite, for you are next to the
fact that whan a masculine creature gets
on the bum it Is boose, snd not unn'
quitted love that doss the dinky dink tor
him. - ' . ' .
"Neither will I tell you that you art
bsaiiteous, as your mirror, win give
me tha lie, but I do not can tor looks,
and your, supply of ths long green makss
up for your being so short on nosa Aod
shy on hair so that you average top fair
to middling.-
But Instead ef these veracious wordt
making a hit wlth Us maiden she be
came very angry. ' "
"Brute," she erUra, bs gone! ' It )s trus
thai t.do not cans for nailery., but t de
al re to bs appreciated and I shall never
marry dntll I meet some discriminating
man who finds In mt his ideal ot feminine
ptrfacUon.' .. ' . . . '
These words greatly surprised ths
learned college prof eeeorv who wont to a
friend ssd thus addressed him: -
"I do not understand." he said, "why
I got her goat, for I -gas .meroly follow
ing bar lead. She has bssa Rooting for
ths truth until she has worn out a lung,
yet ths minute I pssssd her a sample ot
ths real thing. I get It In the neck.'
"Ah." responded his friend with groat
sagacity, "when you pay a woman a
compliment about herself .she never
thinks it Is flattery. She opines It
wss only whst was coming to her snd
that It is the unadorned truth. Mors
ovsr, when a woman Invites you to
criticise her faults ens is merely fish
ing for a Jolly. Ths only safe wsy of
courtship la to qualify for membership In
ths Ananias club snd string along in the
good old mendacious way. Truthful men
all die bachelors."
Moral This fable teacbes.ihat ths only
truth that wt wtll stand for Is ths truth
about our neighbors.
to Forget
, J Why wok with sympathy at tha glil
witn a pin scratca unui sue is assures,
that a cut by a sword could not be
deeper or wldsrt
Wouldn't It be better to Iguora It, and
tun bar salnd to happier thingsT
- Wouldn't It help her to forget that
which aha could forget,. If you fall to
-notice that aha has been ths victim of
an- inJustlosT
Thess art not the daye of martyrs.
" Thess an ths days when tha girl who
writes her traublee oh the dust, anil for
gets them, is honored mon than tht
wha writes in marble, and call th
world to pause and read..
The one who writes In dust soonest tor
gets, and is.,ths soonest to laugh; And
then never waa a time In history when
tha bravo spirit thst forgets and laughs
was loved and aseded mors than It Is
loved and needed todey.
There baa beta soon a revolution In
this particular that ths gb Is as longer
really respectable.
Bo I beg of all ths girls who wish to be
ot . asms nss in this great busy lite
whether quietly at home or la mon pub
lic paths makes no difference that they
writ their little wrongs, In the dust.
I beg that they forget; that they de
mand tha right to forget, acd that they
grant le others tha right to forget.
Be woman while still young, and by
that I meaa do a woman's part.
-. And that, sever has been to' rail for a
tablet of saarbla every Urns hope failed
and things went wrsog.
Elected to Sfipresent Mediw I
at the Unlvsnity
at Minasaeta baa bsea elected ts th.
anaaitnous sesa ed thsr 1st mto and afcht
women) students. Tha aaw student ooun- I
dl is to bs ths official mouthpicca ot tha
entire undergraduate body m tha man
agensat of university affairs.
TUB BEE:
w T- 1 LM S I w a. , - l i l . M
II v - gM saw MM . I I I I 'qpas aMMnMBiiiiinirii mil an mCT -
SrvAiM XW-ASH- iTiwat sfCao
0rAH ANO PAp trEUCfcR TXt ItW
OJ'AAOJ A Boot in TV Suff vl
T Cwtixow Au. n. VMS7M.
m THE OC7An And S9uEh, P0T
Jut-Cog. ATTrSiJAMC T)rS.TteV
6WTrM 3ujt a; "-"!
nJ(r TMC CoorvT fot fHC TMltO
T1N! Trsw DruttfrsTt) rlif to rue
ISMM hjT Hn Ovf- a BArme.
ANO IN A FCW JeCOrrO' He
OrTW Ml, eUMJ JUivTrfeo,
AT MOcVAK HSHIJSQLeo
ictus 1.1 Fetp cott-owr-
PlSCOVCH TMft JTHAMOaTO
"dlEl. VMOULO MONTssUtt
yOiffT MEf- Oiyr
Tta fcTR Pool Off TWTf Ali.
VOV aAAicfi A TMlltSTy . '
IWAJfJfTeatTMA'OvV.
IVVAIjisCmAHK.
T)6TO?HbNe to
JjTMtT ObT AT f AVs
TAKAT A COwf Lfi Of
MurrORfft fovrtvy
OF V-ttts ANt A OAs,
OF-TDOU W1M MS .
TO Joint. Our of IMCWAV
Du P Atoiox uoui
Roi-tJ, vftiro me
tnft TVtOt STfc N 6 I r
tyiTHEokCI'. ma
Cove up rue holCj,
fAirsTTHSPOin W Vt
Off axv SMi; an0 tut
CATteiTHf ry?Ttrvrv
TWE vwi -ff y
The Giants of
Today our phutographt . show tha
dlpiodocus and tha Iguanodoai the former
Of which waa tha hanheat land animal
that aver existed unless soma still nun
brobdlgnaglan ores tun yet' remains to
bs discovered In tha rocks. . 1
The largest dlpiodocus waa slghty
test long. ' With Its slosgatsd neck and
holy, reared en Its powerful bind logs
and maeaive tall, It may havs been able'
to- lift Its head forty feet above ths
ground, so thst It could havs looked Into
the fifth slury windows of a modern
huuse.
A full grown dlpiodocus, of the largest
lid, was sltnOFt us long as three Broad
way can hitched to gether. But tha cen-'
trr of Hit back, when.lt walked without
lifting up its head and neck, was only
about fourteen feet above ths ground.
Ths body alone was bigger then that
of the largest elephant, but ths principal
part of tta length was msds up of ths
neck snd tall. Ths hesd was remark
ably small for a creatun of such Im
mense tlxe.
, Ai
--""" V V ''' -la -A'i
'1 ' 'wts.. . J. ' T r v . .'
uf?S - t- -r' . O? This animal
S-r-L ' 1 .'I .4) thater
I
THE DIPLODOCCS
- OMAHA, THUBSIUY, APfcIL IS, 1912,
? fourt isNPiace to Giggles
Tr-fwAffTMOfr Cuitmmmicuou
CMF TUiKSIt KrvVMitStAM WAS
KlLbsMw THS CHfMtoOOJ THS.
mcmbCU : Germj fturvCiS
LrtTsT't fOMaf (HATftJl AJovT
THt rAONOTaMV Of M0)06ANr
pVTom AAtoov vtcrrr ovn nto
UCC Trie TPAttTIt Or TV COCmcH.
ItiAM (riOAr KoA CO fast CU1& .
THEM SoPfft TstCM MAt A
Uu tr.uM tee AMQ WM uufiry,
TMw TlL A VOtCr. CMItta
rV rr tooktsVO ooaiti to
aT M 9 9 K Ox MlX-M -4IOVt
IMS TP pICCAUU-y 1 .
1KVH OUl TM4 CAiV PN (.OWHCr
nwrt 1 Pack thc old
TotaU m A bt, iNAiTfet
OK -faff , fain owcx
T6 hrrNrj. etAug.
C"rA )o 9if MJUVT
tots rtiT rum. tMittei-
Co Aau Ttntt orfut
KTotTi out ftWERt
vRMsff DAV ANl
Ye&erday
Tbv IgiuuiodoB
which stood
twenty-five feet
high and pulled
down the
branches of tree
with Ita fore
claws.
' i U . ' ,
V ' ;
' -'
" tf !,,- " '
1
txoi is uuk SHtm as fa
amnia m. cANAxioAnxM
A4AoVT TfrC T'U-M. fVU.IM
m an ot fcrr mshvt n
mX AIM K WM JlANTINtr tf .
VIATO- IT MlrT U A fwcAos
c S-X O A iUHOUk 0 WAIH .
Nd MAO JsJNlof OOA 0t AM)
M4, TMC TXHf trs.fT WA1 rJTHM
WT A bg0 Mail ANBTieDTt
PATVTul.vAi A ClAO
"rWlMMcol WAS C(tlHLa.
Fptfi 8iAc oAo-'MArso
rH AFfliCA how vvAi TH
ttthNM 500?
1 1 e
HOME nu. UftTK . , .
veuyotf
tea lov
Trrff 0H
HOOvJr
TPOOTHX
YOUrVg I
ALUfJCV 1
Vl6r0ieMvV
mjuc
r""t I Ti
art 1
Tha Bigyeit Beast of Citation and the Monster Iguanodon
J .
.... V y-
X f it '!
waa tha hnirrst
ndsteel oa tola earth.
The largest of them are said -to
bare beea about eighty, feet
long.
Reared oa Ha powerful hind
legs aad massive tail it- could
lift Me head forty feet above
the ground.
If it Used la these days It
could easily peer Into a fifth
story window.
- Drawn for
"It must bs seenethlng terrible to be
down m stextoo thass days, -C sorgo,"
said tha Masicun lady. I unistaad
from tat papers that there Is 1!! kinds
ot fighting going an down there among
them Insurrsota ar whatever they call
them. Brother Wilfred was saying last
night thst ha didn't think ths Mves tf
Amsrleans was sat tbara. Ha was think
ing ot getting up tat ot them filibuster
ing sxposltloa, or whatever they .call
them, to go down then and reHut ths
lives and the property of the Americans
that was dependent on ths protection
at I heir fellow men fnm America.
"Wilfred Is funny. George. The poor
boy doesn't realise that he ean't protaot
himself any tea well, let alone protect
ing the Uvea and property of people that
la able to protect themselves. When ha
asksd ths old gent last night for a hun
dred ease note, the old gmt aaked him,
What forr and when Wilfred told him
that H was la tqutp a rescue sxposltloa,
ths old boy turned bis back to poor
brother, so ha oould weed ths yellow
fnm the groea Milt, and whsn hs turned
around bs said. "Here my too, here It
a whole dollar, Go and buy yourself a
k-lesn ahavs,' and atop talking about
them savage wars with tha Msxlcans."
Ths old gent hi right, at that," sal
tha Head Barber. "Ha figures that
kid that caa't take cars of hlmsslf
ths country whsn ha waa born os
taks can. of himself In oeuntry t
' It was a vegetable feeder, and Its long
seek was evidently Intended to snabls
It to reach tha branches of trees and pull
insm witnia res on, ar possiniy to ssarca
tha bottom of shallow lakes for Its food.
It wss not armored la tha elaborate mane
. asr of soma of tha creatures that we
have already studied, such as ths Ulcera
te pe and tha ttsgoaaurus, but Ita thick
hide would havs protected a against ths
. assaults ot all but tha most powerful
enemies. ' ,
, Thsra Is a wonderful specimen of tha
dlplododoua In tha Carnegie museum st
Pittsburgh, aad a few years ago Mr.
Carasgls presented a reproduction of tha
same a peel men to tha Nstunf Hlatory
muaeum In London, whsn It mads a
') grsat sensation. '
' In our pictures tht Iguanodoa prstsnts
' . even a mora formidable appearanos tbaa
tha dlpiodocus, because ths creature has
' been npreeeatsd In Its favorite attitude
ot rearing up la Its full hslght It was
a tremendous monster, but not compar-
1 able In alia with tha dlpJodoons. An
Iguaaodon stood about twenty-Ova feat
high when It lifted up Its hesd. and
reared on ita hind legs. You will ob
serve the very strange form of Its ton
claws, which. wen fumlshsd with bugs,
awkward,! bony fingers, shaped llko.
crosses. It la evident that then curious
claws must havs bssa extremely con
venient tor seising and pulling down tha
branches of trass, for ths Iguanodoa also
waa a vegetable feeder.
One ot the strangest stories m the his
. lory of geology Is that ot the dlecovsry.
In lrt, of ths skeletons ot twenty-three
f these hugs creatures in a chasm
among the rocks, la the coal mines of
Bemlatsrt, Belgium, at a depth of WO
test beneath ths surface of the ground.
Ths ancient chasm bad been chocked up,
nnd in driving their galleries the miners
suddenly broke Into It, and beheld with
amassment these . remains of monsters
' such ss no 9ns had aver dreamed of.
Tbey seemed to ban been plunged Into
an aatedlluvlaa wor'd Inhabited by in-
credible gianliu Osologists flocked to
; ths plsce, and tha hugs skeletons wen
carefully removed. How they ever Jt
there la sn Unsolved problem; but It Is
thought ths,t they muit havs teen swspt
- into -ths cissm by a Herd. . since then
Iguanodoa of related species have been
discovered la western America, and other
parts tf tha world. , .
Tha Iguanodoa gats lu name fnm tiss
J resemblaaca of lis tsetb to those of a
.' llsard called tfcs iguana, which la found
living la South America, but the Iguana
la a small creatun, which would frighten
, aobody, wails its . prsdsoessors at some
millions ot ysrs ago wen so tsrrlblo on
account ot their stis alone that tha sight
of ens ot t.':t.l .might havs put a her-1
ot elephant to flight, if then bad bron
any siepbja.lt Usn.
Thai loads t) tl.a carl jus conclusion
that soma of Ui animals -of the earth.
whloA' are aow of no great ass. had
representatives of tnosatrorvis prouvrf-tioca 1
la primeval tiues. ApsuwaUr some cf !
these erearures ' bsosjna' toe large and
toe awkward, to irtre. Vat. en the
ether Land, n-siy cnatursa tovw in
. crsasad In six with tta pro great of time.
Among these an '.hs horse, which, la
Ita earliest staps. waa a Utt'A animal,
aot larger than a fox. Howerer, sons
of the animals which havs Increased la
six havs attained dimenslona compar
able with those of tae aaoastart that ws
hsvs beea talking st. Tha alephaat la
13
ft"
The Bee by Tad
he doesn't know atiythlrur about. What
la the-what would your brother Wlis
trod do dowa la Kaxicot It lakes real r
insa to fight the battles dowa there,
klddamsa with them narrow gray ayes
and th calm took of asaa that has
looked Into tha ay ot death a mtllle ,;
times without fl Inching. Tell the brother
to lay off that too th western stuff."' ". j
Wilfred ain't as coward, George," la-,
elated tha Xanicun Lady. "Th etd
gent Is strong enough and big snough to
glv Jack Johnson a merry battle, not I,
notice thst any tfm hs Is out lata at a
lodg meeting, brother Wilfred Is tha t
only eat of tht family that want to ae
on the Job when father cornea boaaa.
Tea ass, Oeorgs, whsn father gete back,
to bis owe threshold after a esssloa with,
his dear brother members, ht never' '
knows whst to ' do whether to sing 1
"Corns Back to sly or to break all ,
th vases that mother mother left ta
her. Wilfred la th guardian of th vases, r
Hs has savsd mon vases from fathar'a
cruel reach thaa Tom Sharkey hat aaved
nickels. Don't call brother Wilfred a"
coward. Ha may b a boob, but bs ain't
no coward." ,1
"Tou don't need te fall into a slow
ed Ine," said th Head Barber. "Come ' '
a out ef It, kMdo. I'll glvs yea a UtUet
w that aught to cheer yo up. Thsn'a"
t sal race bona running today at Charles- ;
ia horse named Charlie Btnuaa, ', .
I Into th game and win yourself a ,
I psnnlaa. The name aion is a guar-.
, y at th harss'g wlonlng. Cuarisy'
tauM la Onek tor 'First and Bcond.
and yoa better bat that way; Don't watt
t Changs your mind, girl but! Next elrr
lavadlaa th (tnri Ceaatry. ,
la pursuance ef a plan I have bad Is)
mind for soma time." announced Faster
Ooodeols at ths aloe af his sermon, "I
bar rented a smell room in- an apart,
atahl house In st fashionable neighbor
hood and si poet to opea a mission Sun,
day school there oa tits first Sunday ta
May. I don't know, brethren, whsn tha
children who attend it an to cess from,
if, Indeed, any children attend It at all.,
but It will be than all summer, aad way
be regarded either as aa opportunity ar
aa a reproach. We will now sing ous
Closing byau."-Chlcago Tribune.
Taking; It far thraatsd. 7
"Oood morning, ma'am," said tha UlU
dignified atrangsr. "I am taking orders
for honey. With your permission I will'
hand you a frse sample. Try It aad see
how -you llks It." i
"What kind of honey I UT" Inquired,
the woman of the house.
"California."
"Wall, H wouldn't be worth your while
to wart a sample. We don't like the
taste of California honey."
"All right, madam. May I ask yoa to
ccpt this Uttia leaflet T Oood morning."
After he bad gone away th woman of
the house looked at the leaflet
It was a tract, with this title: "Way
An Tou Not a Chrlstlanr Chicago
Tribune. , .
now tht largsst land animal, but ha ta
not aa large ss his predecessors, tha
mammoth and th mastodon.
In Argentina there ban been found
re&aifcs of a gigantic rat-like creature
which was nine feet long. This la called
the toxodon, and Its rassmblaace te A,
rat la principally doa te the peculiar)
form of its front teeth, which an ahapsdt
irks chisels, indicating that, tike tha'
modern rat. It was sc cue to mod to goaw
tng. la Jtt general form It bore- con
" derails rssemblanc to a guinea pig.
But a guinea pig, or a rst, nine feet.
1
"I
long, would cau&e tome scurrying
modern household.
In ths sea. on tha other band, th
eas la different. It would appear that
th ocean has never been Inhabited bss,
anlicals 'larger tbaa those found ta is.
today. Tbs great f loner whale, for ln-j
siaaoe, wbicw nuitr ouin uw oiiais ei
of boasu that live or have lived,1
times attain a length ot ninety feet.
a
roll!
disports Ha huge body "with easy ron!
among wavse In which th stoutest ski
ttest Bhtpj
flonarlsi
that over left dock yard would
heipisesly." , ..','-.
Still, It has been found that asm of
the ancient Inhabitants of th sea. It)
they wen not larger than th largest'oC
today, were far mors wonderful In some)
reipoetsi a moastsr ertth a abark-ltks
appetite, which wsa fnrnhmsd with eyas)
sis or eight Inches la dtamate. aastngj
an a:racgmsnt ef bony plats wttucbj
am to hsvs enabled It to eaang tha
focus ot th sjes. Otttag them far eharni
vision at longer or shorter range as itj
rtmonsleaaly chased Its any. This r-i
calla the wonderful new aj-tnch tslescop
on Mount Wilson, Cel., which ta provided
with means tor altering the focus aa 1
stares tats th depth of th Hntrerm. Th
ichthyosaurus would item to have bssa;
tumlaoed with a telescope eye af the!
most modem construction.
la ths next artdda we shall daat wtth
th monrtar tryannossurus.
1
.A
1
