Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, March 18, 1912, Page 9, Image 9
TIIE BEE: OMAHA, MONDAY. MARCH 13. 1912. tea The . - SILK HAT HARRY'S DIVORCE SUIT itVNoWrjheJudgeLostHkGoat Drawn for The Bee by Tad m r 1 , ! V- caw vo cau -v r -r, fV v I ZT ' CHNfrTNIr- I V9U MOST" TOADY o.c.C " P I. I ? g 1 1 . f Li t . sN - " Fables'of the Wise Dame ' I Fables'of the Wise Dame ' i Q :. fi .!! Once upon a Urn there waa whose wife, after a vtrtuoua and well spent Ufa, threw up ber earthly job and f 1 signed a permanent engagement with the angel choir. Ab tint tb maa m greatly af flicted, for they bad been married many years aod win waa strictly the goods la the culinary ile aartmsat. Betides which. It seemed lonesome to the Kan not to have any ana to remind hlra of hl faults and he felt that something wss mis sing when he went ham lata and found nothing bap PenlfK In the lec tor buret u. New during bis wife's lifetime the man bad devoted himself to doing turns In tha grooary Una, and bo bad fallen for all .r Ik. ' - ' wn w lis. He dressed as bo ptaaeed and was ae customed to say that bo thanked his maker that he waa not on of tbosa fool dndes who sacrificed comfort to fashion. So bo Wot low. turned-down collar that did not chile his neck, and broad-ao led shoe, and ho bung on to a looto old coat until It got rusty. Neither did bo ears for society and be fore bis wife could Indue him i to tab bar out to any place of amusement ah bad to hypnotise bun. It waa not long, however, after hi wife's death that th man began to take notice, and but friends observed a great change la bis personal appearance. Ho blew himself for joyous hebl. menta, and ho wore a collar so tall that It looked like a section of a sewer pipe. Moreover he tha red the alfalfa oft his chin, and dyed his hair a deep piratical black, and bo got a gait on his patoal leathers like a rahrea boy. "W perceive," said his friends, as they got a Una on this apendor, "that the real secret of tho ellxer of youth Is to be a widower, and that all that a man needs to rejuvenate bim Is to lose his Wife." ' . Beside bis sartorial triumph, the man likewise qualified as a society butterfly, Where ho did pedestrian wonders toting By DOROTH7 DIX. -around tea at aftaraooa functions, th only thing that saved him from doing tb Turkey Trot waa a spring halt la his kneo action. , By-aad-by, however, tho maa gi weary of so much (lee. and to feel that ho would like to get back to b Harness and work a while for a rest, so be picked out a beauteous young maiden aad asked ber to bo bis bride, although they lacked about forty yean of trotting la tho Sams class. "AdoraMo creature," bo cried, "b mine. I am sure that If my sainted Maria could look down upon us. you an the very on the would pick out to console mo for ber loss. I love 70 a to distrac tion, besides which I have a large alsed wad, although I am aware that If yon merry mo It will bs Tor love alone." Th maiden was, indeed, a heart grafter, and eh was as wis as h was beautiful, so ah took a good, long think over th matter. 'As a general thing." ah reflected. "I do not care for antiques, nor does my appetite run to warmed over dishes. Btl't this ono Is well preserved, and la fined with yellow backs, so as I opine that be ing an old man's darling la better than cooking for a young one, it's m for th easy thing." I But much to ber surprise no sooner were they married than th man resumed being as old as he had been before he J waa a widower. II also left off bis glad rags aad got back Into his old clothes. and when ahs mentioned going out to tbs theater or a party be begaa to groan with tbs rheumatism. Mora than that, he began to knock h"T faults aad to tell her bow his first wlf used to keep bouse and set a comfortable tabls on S3 a week, and bow the aevor desired aay amusement ascent to sit up and watch him read tha paper of an evening. In reality tb first wU bad been a very ordinary oroatur with a tongue that could talk a phonograph to a stand still, but tho maa touted ber to his sec ond wife as a paragon of perfection. On night when be bad been doing tbi h observed the bride weeping bitterly. "Why do you cry?" be asked. "Alas!" cried the new wife, "I weep for your first wife. Nobody can regret ber death as much as I do." Moral: This Fable taacboa that It Is better to be a young man's darling than an old man's Slav. You're in Wrong By Tad !f Spring House Cleaning The Selfishness of Men 1 1 By BEATRICE FAIRFAX writes ma to roiiowwgr anapaa asul can aovcr hoop step with "Honey Boy' letter: "I am a young maa M yoara of age. and I am In love with a young lady tha same ate. and aha loves mo dearly. I love her, and bava kept company with ber for the but foar year. She sow wants that I should marry her, but oa account of on leg sh lost la aa ac cident I really don't know what ta do, because I don't want to marry a crippia Pleas advis m what to do. . HONETBOT." My dear young maa. tb first charge fegslnst yon I that yoa aa a signature that doesn't belong te yoa. "Honey Boy" moans soma on who Is lovbig and tender and kind and Just. . Tou haven't ono of those enjasaring ualttlea. There lan't as much hooey m your whole system ss a drone would gsrner la a week. ' Indeed, if you wer la a hlr th other bees would sting yon to death. - - -. Too kept company with this girl for four years. Tou won ber love. .That I do not doubt, as women esslly loos all power of dlscrlntlnaUoa so far as mm are concerned. Ton ssy you Isvo ber. That I d doubt My dear ''Honey Boy," If you loved bar yoa would want to marry her if she had two wooden lega If by soma stnsks of asfortuno bar arms foUovea, yoa would want bar el' tho mora. For love, tho right kind 0 love. Is endowed with th protective la atlact. The greater the . misfortune of tb Object of euo's lev, tho greater the lev. il It Is th right kind. - Tours is not tb light kind. If I could speak te ber, I would arse her not t . snarry yoa kf yoa want awwa oa these two knots of yours that are both sound and who). ' Thar Is a greater deformity than the loss of a limb. It Is tb aue-sbapen soul i One who loses a Itanb can get ono that is artificial, and bobble through lite keeping stsp with and often going far ahead of one who has two sound legs of nature s providing. TWo-usaa etna Is oripptod-srtth a mis ts wono. lie ta of no mere use than V ha had embalming fluid ta his veins. Tho sunniest, happiest. Tovlnrest Poopte la tb world are thess of deformed bodies. Did yoa over knew a man with a esaarmed asul whs brought happiness 10 aay mortal; If this poor gM has a wooden leg, Nature, tb groat mother of aa sIL hat given her a greater gift at asm other una to mass up for IL s awjre mm, mors charity, a greater patience, a broader mind. greater aeass of humor than others with sound Umbo, She ha a quicker Intel lect, quicker hands, and they ar more wuung. Ono of tbs best wives I ever knew bad only one arm. 6a bora her husband children and aha ralssd them to honorable, intelligent and capable men and women. 8 he waa the wife of a firmer, an a farm la tha west, whers work Is the greatest word to the English BMiguage. Hers bsgsa before tb rising of the sun. and she worked ail day, accom pssnntg with one ana mere than other women aecomptisbed with two. Her husband loved her ss few wives are loved. Ill lev was the right kind. Tours Is not. Tou bar ssoonpollsed this girl for our years, and own her aarrkM w bo deserves tt. But wbea you offer It. eU her what yea have told me: That after four years you have decided you -on t want a cripple. Then. K she has th IntelMgence I credit ber with, ah win realist that ah baa been loving a greater cripple than sh baa aver been: A maa with a heart with atushncsa, and a mis- If sh eoustnis to marry you, know, tag this, she make a greater eacriflc than yoa ever dreamed of making. And may tha Lord help her. Be sure of your aim la life before moving Into a glass bouse. Music Is tbs food of love-which 1. than caa be truthfully said of the d & . nf m r m apr m IT5 GETTEf. TOVEM OJT THAN TO KiT OWT ""WAS im the THIW) ACT 0T TirATTtflfcQrlUTRtUEP- , Wa.TCA.CTUi CrtMiUE TVia IHOlAH SUSC COMSi OUT ON. THfc? tAlNTEo DEStrtr TO too a, ri vooHfr t nits "meat's , HAT A tOUUViirtrlN ,57 MlLEf VWHUfceu CMAfeUery in A Pre Huifty voice; at that- MSl (SSriRiCL 10 minutes AHEAD OPTWE MotpeJ otand ih a jwrtr wHiiTer. cr-ieo- IrWOO. .Aft&eft A7g QwoHf ViOUlO VOUVrfAMT H'rA.TO JriAVeT Ci-Oig fccg otjr, vauu m scwoNu- uir HKH-lftoTTA SMA mow- l'M60IN TO'ToWfEt' I fOSNEA 6TT Mf TlU. I XA-A WEN I JIUSV A M Ot LtCHH, rTt.GRMAki Awa, AlfreBflA. Me 60T on THE OT 1U6r Aw ANu Al(CET VNMAT VNAi Uf OHMOyaoa p,pE tATTCT. wAfrco to ASR WOvJ If A $0" NNANTTO A fCM-EI &-N COP NriOULQ if ygu. ' pou in TXtcff vowr. Parr- oyrtP TVtT oven 1 y a I ftetTTO iCHOOi- AT t viOlKAT LSJJOHi TlO-' lTe (OMINOTES TO SAT, TMC VKOMC Ae-A( TUA.XJa.TWa4 (66 HOMCTODOABlT AaQRc wSNS, iTDP TO R4 MD RAflDferr MlTH MOMONOM, the JpOW Ao-Ajrw TlU. LAM. 7MCM I "SAO A VT Cr TH iMOf MIOiAGL An&EUJ 3Vmm awwo putt vm actoa- SH AATOf. ee.CAUaC 1SS rbli'rCAuVtrrlrA.AT rrMET- XklSl rtAJMA Ult kAnMlM-AtSOfe: AT" Th 0?6X iKtr fSHPOfMANCrS. Mi JTAP-Ti HI J ACT W MUTlri- MTHe uMINs-t tNAt rir jnrnu TMe reno KM..rtcvAj Pifibirra- JJ nor P,i fl MTMt B(Ojr MtXSB IN riti VACM TUBM Pi bl H6 LEAH CO Mil LitTrunm . TVW HiNi fog. hrra 3UlT A", TKtlC Piptrii ucrntrj: - - 101a 0WTKK HeHAiTWE HATCrlET? t'piTA&g - op Jrpfr3t.' rwn. 33 AriATfV NOTMll 10 P0 TlU. His Own Answer fly HAL COFFMAN. (if f I ' 1 VVoHDER WMf The 01 By WIMFRED BLACK. Why, the tun has stopped pretending1 and at really going to thine again. Drip, drip, hear the water (ailing from the eaves-look, there are little puddles all along the walka. aad In th street the astonished horses look a If they wished they bed fins Instead of lega Tea, it's a thaw, a regular old-fashioned early spring thsw, I wonder II this Isn't tb time the maple ssp be gins to run some where out In the cleaa. clean woods, where you can look up between the branches now and see the reel sky Just ss It must have looked tho first dsy after the world was atada. Th next-door neighbor's maa hi eJean- Ine the yard. I can tell that tho nest door neighbor I from New Bngtand the minute I look at that yard, anyhow, ana from all the upper bjlndows along the wsy some one Is shaking rugs. tfes, there's houss cleaning going on across tbs street; snd, look, there s a llttlo boy with his chubby srms tun or bottles. What a hord of ponies bs noses to hav when he hss sold these bottles. "Rasa, bottles, old elo, calls the queer old man from his queer old wst-on. He knew whst the thsw meant to aim, anu he'a out brlfht and early. Coma on children, tet'e go up In tho attlo and clean house, toe. Dear, dear, bat heaps of rubbith. How osuld any one family collect such mounds of good for nothing thing' Old shoes, old col lar!, old coats, aid boass, old wrapping papers, and, ther la th orner-yeo, It's the MtUe Cbrtatmaa tree. . with all Its finery rone. How gray la all Bs plumage now, how forlora tho droop of Ita one time festlv branch. Cheer up. Utile tree, you made us all very happy not as long age. We'll all turn to and send you up tho chimney this very night ta a roar of glory Juirt for old tunes sake, And while we do It let's bav a house cleaning of lbs soul, too. What's that In that dark corner-en old hatredT What do I want of that? Why didn't X throw It out. aeck aod orop, Ih very day It cam Into my heart? Never mind. It's never too late to mend. Her you go, old enemy, you'v ktpt me awake many a night. I'll slsep sweeter aow, for your room Is belter tbsa your company. , How black It la over there where the light ought to be pouring m. What's the matter? Why. there's a fsded, aid duet oovered curtain at tbs window ad the seuL Tesr It down, tear tt dews, let In the glorious light; there, that's better. I Inherited that curtala t prejudice from my grandfather? Well, What of II? It amy have heea a fia fabric la Us day, but all It's good fur aow la to breed moths of .hat and unhapplaeta. Hurrah, It's down) Took suit a w reach, didn't It? It's goas aow sis tbs biitmd light stream In. Hera t a gnat bos full of what? Rub blah, th worst hind of rubbtah la the world. Old grlevaaota, old slights, aid snubs. What am I trsssurUig them up or la the nasis of common asnse? Evcu tb old el' man wouldn't look at them, laey'ra polTioue; out with th old box; tsugh,' It spoils th air. Out you go, old box, cover and all There there's room for good, cemfortabl thoughts now wbr you bav tood so long. What 'poor, sickly, drooping thing Is that a plant? It was pretty once. But now It la so wretched It must Risks ths mica mtserabl to look at lb It It sa old sorrow, wept over, kept allv with tears, What a mistake. 1 Poor little plant! What It wants Is fresh air snd sunshine. Put tt out Ibe minute yoa can and let It either grow Into something beautiful or let It wither and become as tt should,, ht time, a part of Ibe earth from which It sprang. B-r-r-r, there the housecleanlag Is st least begun. Corns, little tree, gosd lit tle friead of gay hours you'ra all ready for ths glory of the nam. snip, 1 nap, snara, there you go, spark ling, dancing, laughing, tinging, wsvtng us a 'gay goodbyup the chimney. May all the old sorrows, all ths old griefs, sll the old misunderstandings go with you. ' How fins and fresh and e holes tint and free the sir Is In tho hones when ths house cleaning has one begun. Earth's Aerial Envelope J Bf EDGAR LUCIE.! LARK1N. Modern sclentlflo reatesrehea In the oceaa of air surrounding the earth have been greatly aided by means ot self recording Instruments. These are In genious, indeed, snd hsvs required a high order ot Inrentlv skill. Tb problem of discovering th nature of th upper atmosphere Is that of find ing some wsy of sending Instruments Into regions when man cannot go. snd live. But there would bs no uto m sending aa instrument anywhere unlets tt could maka a record of Its strange surround ings. Thus thermometers can be placed la heat where no lite oeuld exist and record the degree of temperature. And barometers likewise caa be put Into au to rare that It would not enter tha lungs snd enable one Mr breaths. And ther- metera combined with barometers bav beta sent up to reglena so cold and with air so rare that organic lit oould not xlst therein. . Ths atmospheric envelope la far more elaborate and com plea thaa any thought possible berore late studies of, upper re gions. Thus beside the components ot chemically pure air, -wayien and nitro gen, there exist argon, xenon, krypton and neon, newly dlscovsred gssea. These are In such minute quantities that they escaped al chemists before the but twenty years. Scientific men carried up Instruments in balloons ss early aa 17M, ''but these wer crude in comparison with modern. And they had no apparatus for measur ing siectrlctty snd magnetism. Indeed, they did not then know that thess pow erful end alto- week areata could be ineasured. Since those remote scentlflc times thousands ot ascents hsvs been mode by men; and wbea the limit of humaa endurance was reached greater heights meant death from cold and want of air. But, all undaunted, knowledge haa keen gained of ths suite ot ths sir far above the possible reach ot maa himself. tappoo all the air passible be pumped from a hollow globs of metal, say, down to th ene-mllliontb. Attach this to a small ballooa and allow It to ascend ta great heights as far as It oan. An auto matic device opens and doses the empty glob. But wbea open the air sad all It contains rushes In and thus a sample at thess altitudes Is secured ajd .brought dowa la labvmtorlea. ' Hygrometers, watsr vapor measures, have often been sent up, aad these wer self-recording, and watery vapor bat bean detected st enormous heights. Electrics! apparatus, automatl record ing, bav been sent te elevated regions snd free electricity baa bean "sensed" snd measured. Likewise magnetic In struments, and atysterloua 'msgnatiim hss been dlscovsred up there. Fhotomotera. Ugbt-measiires, have hern many times seal up to measure th rate of absorption of light from tbs sun also moo a. Light reflected from clouds, lea partkles and frost Is at times changed to tb potarlsed stats. Captive balloons wars used Is 16. Anchored t tho earth they carried thin wires through which currents of elec tricity were seat up ta seal sued soft Iron cores which at once bsosm msg nets, opening sad closing phot cameras, thus securing for tho first time pictures of clouds, banks of Ice spicule aad frost particles. Spectroscopes hsvs been taken up aod apectra secured of ths sua, and of sun light reflected from elowda bs detsrmllse tho radiant energy ot the sua. Anemometers bars searched out In tricate, complex ratee, directions and sll change In winds and sir currents In upper regions. Tbs ancient saving "as fleeting as tbs wind" la tree. High flying kites bearing seaslttva apparatus are used la some stations. Balloon-sondea, small free ballona and pilot ballona ascend far btghor than tt Is possible for captives or kites. Thess are tree. The reader may wonder how ws csa obtain sdentifle data by means of free flyers Two bslieoas ars Joined, one barge and of weak material, tho other email and strong. Th Instruments are fattened to this. At great height the air becomes so rare that ths hydrogen, ex panding, bursts the weak walla and si lows the strong to falL Free flyers bav been sent up from decks of ships at see, and the falling bsjoona ar provided with floats and are picked wp from tho waves. Instruments made ot Invar have heea munched Into th cerulean blue. Invar being the new invariable metal, not changing with temperature. On page of The Bee would be required ta hold the tables a reaulta snd discoveries. Meter. legy is I " f