Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, March 18, 1912, Page 9, Image 9

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itVNoWrjheJudgeLostHkGoat Drawn for The Bee by Tad
r 1
, ! V- caw vo cau -v r -r, fV v I ZT
' CHNfrTNIr- I V9U MOST" TOADY o.c.C " P I. I ?
g 1 1 . f
Li t . sN - "
Fables'of the Wise Dame ' I
Fables'of the Wise Dame '
:. fi .!!
Once upon a Urn there waa
whose wife, after a vtrtuoua and well
spent Ufa, threw up ber earthly job and
f 1 signed a permanent engagement with the
angel choir.
Ab tint tb maa
m greatly af
flicted, for they bad
been married many
years aod win waa
strictly the goods
la the culinary ile
aartmsat. Betides
which. It seemed
lonesome to the
Kan not to have
any ana to remind
hlra of hl faults
and he felt that
something wss mis
sing when he went
ham lata and
found nothing bap
PenlfK In the lec
tor buret u.
New during bis wife's lifetime the man
bad devoted himself to doing turns In
tha grooary Una, and bo bad fallen for
all .r Ik. ' - '
wn w lis.
He dressed as bo ptaaeed and was ae
customed to say that bo thanked his
maker that he waa not on of tbosa fool
dndes who sacrificed comfort to fashion.
So bo Wot low. turned-down collar that
did not chile his neck, and broad-ao led
shoe, and ho bung on to a looto old
coat until It got rusty.
Neither did bo ears for society and be
fore bis wife could Indue him i to tab
bar out to any place of amusement ah
bad to hypnotise bun.
It waa not long, however, after hi
wife's death that th man began to take
notice, and but friends observed a great
change la bis personal appearance.
Ho blew himself for joyous hebl.
menta, and ho wore a collar so tall that
It looked like a section of a sewer pipe.
Moreover he tha red the alfalfa oft his
chin, and dyed his hair a deep piratical
black, and bo got a gait on his patoal
leathers like a rahrea boy.
"W perceive," said his friends, as
they got a Una on this apendor, "that the
real secret of tho ellxer of youth Is to
be a widower, and that all that a man
needs to rejuvenate bim Is to lose his
Wife." '
. Beside bis sartorial triumph, the man
likewise qualified as a society butterfly,
Where ho did pedestrian wonders toting
-around tea at aftaraooa functions,
th only thing that saved him from doing
tb Turkey Trot waa a spring halt la his
kneo action.
, By-aad-by, however, tho maa gi
weary of so much (lee. and to feel that
ho would like to get back to b Harness
and work a while for a rest, so be picked
out a beauteous young maiden aad
asked ber to bo bis bride, although they
lacked about forty yean of trotting la
tho Sams class.
"AdoraMo creature," bo cried, "b
mine. I am sure that If my sainted Maria
could look down upon us. you an the
very on the would pick out to console
mo for ber loss. I love 70 a to distrac
tion, besides which I have a large alsed
wad, although I am aware that If yon
merry mo It will bs Tor love alone."
Th maiden was, indeed, a heart
grafter, and eh was as wis as h was
beautiful, so ah took a good, long think
over th matter.
'As a general thing." ah reflected. "I
do not care for antiques, nor does my
appetite run to warmed over dishes. Btl't
this ono Is well preserved, and la fined
with yellow backs, so as I opine that be
ing an old man's darling la better than
cooking for a young one, it's m for th
easy thing." I
But much to ber surprise no sooner
were they married than th man resumed
being as old as he had been before he J
waa a widower. II also left off bis glad
rags aad got back Into his old clothes.
and when ahs mentioned going out to tbs
theater or a party be begaa to groan with
tbs rheumatism.
Mora than that, he began to knock h"T
faults aad to tell her bow his first wlf
used to keep bouse and set a comfortable
tabls on S3 a week, and bow the aevor
desired aay amusement ascent to sit up
and watch him read tha paper of an
In reality tb first wU bad been a
very ordinary oroatur with a tongue
that could talk a phonograph to a stand
still, but tho maa touted ber to his sec
ond wife as a paragon of perfection.
On night when be bad been doing tbi
h observed the bride weeping bitterly.
"Why do you cry?" be asked.
"Alas!" cried the new wife, "I weep
for your first wife. Nobody can regret
ber death as much as I do."
Moral: This Fable taacboa that It Is
better to be a young man's darling than
an old man's Slav.
You're in Wrong
By Tad !f Spring House Cleaning
The Selfishness of Men
writes ma to roiiowwgr anapaa asul can aovcr hoop step with
"Honey Boy'
"I am a young maa M yoara of age.
and I am In love with a young lady tha
same ate. and aha loves mo dearly. I
love her, and bava kept company with
ber for the but foar year. She sow
wants that I should marry her, but oa
account of on leg sh lost la aa ac
cident I really don't know what ta do,
because I don't want to marry a crippia
Pleas advis m what to do. .
My dear young maa. tb first charge
fegslnst yon I that yoa aa a signature
that doesn't belong te yoa. "Honey
Boy" moans soma on who Is lovbig and
tender and kind and Just.
. Tou haven't ono of those enjasaring
ualttlea. There lan't as much hooey m
your whole system ss a drone would
gsrner la a week. ' Indeed, if you wer
la a hlr th other bees would sting yon
to death. - -
-. Too kept company with this girl for
four years. Tou won ber love. .That I
do not doubt, as women esslly loos all
power of dlscrlntlnaUoa so far as mm
are concerned.
Ton ssy you Isvo ber. That I d doubt
My dear ''Honey Boy," If you loved bar
yoa would want to marry her if she had
two wooden lega
If by soma stnsks of asfortuno bar
arms foUovea, yoa would want bar el'
tho mora. For love, tho right kind 0
love. Is endowed with th protective la
The greater the . misfortune of tb
Object of euo's lev, tho greater the lev.
il It Is th right kind.
- Tours is not tb light kind. If I could
speak te ber, I would arse her not t
. snarry yoa kf yoa want awwa oa these
two knots of yours that are both sound
and who).
' Thar Is a greater deformity than the
loss of a limb. It Is tb aue-sbapen soul
i One who loses a Itanb can get ono that
is artificial, and bobble through lite
keeping stsp with and often going far
ahead of one who has two sound legs of
nature s providing.
TWo-usaa etna Is oripptod-srtth a mis
ts wono. lie ta of no mere use than
V ha had embalming fluid ta his veins.
Tho sunniest, happiest. Tovlnrest
Poopte la tb world are thess of deformed
bodies. Did yoa over knew a man with
a esaarmed asul whs brought happiness
10 aay mortal;
If this poor gM has a wooden leg,
Nature, tb groat mother of aa sIL hat
given her a greater gift at asm other
una to mass up for IL
s awjre mm, mors charity, a
greater patience, a broader mind.
greater aeass of humor than others with
sound Umbo, She ha a quicker Intel
lect, quicker hands, and they ar more
Ono of tbs best wives I ever knew bad
only one arm. 6a bora her husband
children and aha ralssd them to
honorable, intelligent and capable men
and women. 8 he waa the wife of a
firmer, an a farm la tha west, whers
work Is the greatest word to the English
Hers bsgsa before tb rising of the
sun. and she worked ail day, accom
pssnntg with one ana mere than other
women aecomptisbed with two.
Her husband loved her ss few wives
are loved. Ill lev was the right kind.
Tours Is not.
Tou bar ssoonpollsed this girl for
our years, and own her aarrkM w
bo deserves tt. But wbea you offer It.
eU her what yea have told me: That
after four years you have decided you
-on t want a cripple.
Then. K she has th IntelMgence I
credit ber with, ah win realist that ah
baa been loving a greater cripple than
sh baa aver been: A maa with a heart
with atushncsa, and a mis-
If sh eoustnis to marry you, know,
tag this, she make a greater eacriflc
than yoa ever dreamed of making. And
may tha Lord help her.
Be sure of your aim la life before
moving Into a glass bouse.
Music Is tbs food of love-which 1.
than caa be truthfully said of the
d & .
nf m r m apr m
""WAS im the THIW) ACT 0T
TirATTtflfcQrlUTRtUEP- ,
THfc? tAlNTEo DEStrtr TO too a,
ri vooHfr t nits "meat's ,
HAT A tOUUViirtrlN ,57 MlLEf
VWHUfceu CMAfeUery in A
Pre Huifty voice; at that-
10 minutes AHEAD OPTWE
MotpeJ otand ih a jwrtr
wHiiTer. cr-ieo-
IrWOO. .Aft&eft A7g QwoHf
JriAVeT Ci-Oig
fccg otjr, vauu m scwoNu- uir
HKH-lftoTTA SMA mow-
l'M60IN TO'ToWfEt'
Ot LtCHH, rTt.GRMAki
Awa, AlfreBflA.
Me 60T on THE OT 1U6r Aw
OHMOyaoa p,pE
tATTCT. wAfrco to ASR WOvJ
ygu. ' pou in
TXtcff vowr. Parr-
oyrtP TVtT oven
1 y a
I ftetTTO iCHOOi- AT t
TUA.XJa.TWa4 (66
R4 MD RAflDferr
JpOW Ao-Ajrw TlU. LAM.
3Vmm awwo putt vm actoa-
rbli'rCAuVtrrlrA.AT rrMET-
XklSl rtAJMA Ult kAnMlM-AtSOfe: AT"
Th 0?6X iKtr fSHPOfMANCrS.
MTHe uMINs-t tNAt rir jnrnu
TMe reno KM..rtcvAj Pifibirra-
JJ nor P,i fl MTMt B(Ojr
H6 LEAH CO Mil LitTrunm .
TVW HiNi fog. hrra 3UlT
A", TKtlC Piptrii ucrntrj:
- - 101a
t'piTA&g - op Jrpfr3t.'
10 P0 TlU.
His Own Answer
(if f I ' 1 VVoHDER WMf The
Why, the tun has stopped pretending1
and at really going to thine again.
Drip, drip, hear the water (ailing from
the eaves-look, there are little puddles
all along the walka. aad In th street
the astonished horses look a If
they wished they
bed fins Instead
of lega
Tea, it's a thaw,
a regular old-fashioned
early spring
thsw, I wonder II
this Isn't tb time
the maple ssp be
gins to run some
where out In the
cleaa. clean woods,
where you can
look up between
the branches now
and see the reel
sky Just ss It must
have looked tho
first dsy after the
world was atada.
Th next-door neighbor's maa hi eJean-
Ine the yard. I can tell that tho nest
door neighbor I from New Bngtand the
minute I look at that yard, anyhow, ana
from all the upper bjlndows along the
wsy some one Is shaking rugs.
tfes, there's houss cleaning going on
across tbs street; snd, look, there s a
llttlo boy with his chubby srms tun or
bottles. What a hord of ponies bs noses
to hav when he hss sold these bottles.
"Rasa, bottles, old elo, calls the queer
old man from his queer old wst-on. He
knew whst the thsw meant to aim, anu
he'a out brlfht and early.
Coma on children, tet'e go up In tho
attlo and clean house, toe. Dear, dear,
bat heaps of rubbith. How osuld any
one family collect such mounds of good
for nothing thing' Old shoes, old col
lar!, old coats, aid boass, old wrapping
papers, and, ther la th orner-yeo, It's
the MtUe Cbrtatmaa tree. . with all Its
finery rone. How gray la all Bs plumage
now, how forlora tho droop of Ita one
time festlv branch. Cheer up. Utile
tree, you made us all very happy not as
long age. We'll all turn to and send you
up tho chimney this very night ta a roar
of glory Juirt for old tunes sake,
And while we do It let's bav a house
cleaning of lbs soul, too.
What's that In that dark corner-en
old hatredT What do I want of that?
Why didn't X throw It out. aeck aod
orop, Ih very day It cam Into my heart?
Never mind. It's never too late to mend.
Her you go, old enemy, you'v ktpt me
awake many a night. I'll slsep sweeter
aow, for your room Is belter tbsa your
company. ,
How black It la over there where the
light ought to be pouring m. What's the
matter? Why. there's a fsded, aid duet
oovered curtain at tbs window ad the
seuL Tesr It down, tear tt dews, let In
the glorious light; there, that's better.
I Inherited that curtala t prejudice
from my grandfather? Well, What of II?
It amy have heea a fia fabric la Us
day, but all It's good fur aow la to breed
moths of .hat and unhapplaeta. Hurrah,
It's down) Took suit a w reach, didn't
It? It's goas aow sis tbs biitmd light
stream In.
Hera t a gnat bos full of what? Rub
blah, th worst hind of rubbtah la the
world. Old grlevaaota, old slights, aid
snubs. What am I trsssurUig them up
or la the nasis of common asnse? Evcu
tb old el' man wouldn't look at them,
laey'ra polTioue; out with th old box;
tsugh,' It spoils th air. Out you go, old
box, cover and all There there's room
for good, cemfortabl thoughts now
wbr you bav tood so long.
What 'poor, sickly, drooping thing Is
that a plant? It was pretty once. But
now It la so wretched It must Risks ths
mica mtserabl to look at lb It It sa old
sorrow, wept over, kept allv with tears,
What a mistake. 1
Poor little plant! What It wants Is
fresh air snd sunshine. Put tt out Ibe
minute yoa can and let It either grow
Into something beautiful or let It wither
and become as tt should,, ht time, a part
of Ibe earth from which It sprang.
B-r-r-r, there the housecleanlag Is st
least begun. Corns, little tree, gosd lit
tle friead of gay hours you'ra all ready
for ths glory of the nam.
snip, 1 nap, snara, there you go, spark
ling, dancing, laughing, tinging, wsvtng
us a 'gay goodbyup the chimney. May
all the old sorrows, all ths old griefs, sll
the old misunderstandings go with you.
' How fins and fresh and e holes tint and
free the sir Is In tho hones when ths
house cleaning has one begun.
Earth's Aerial Envelope
Modern sclentlflo reatesrehea In the
oceaa of air surrounding the earth have
been greatly aided by means ot self
recording Instruments. These are In
genious, indeed, snd hsvs required a high
order ot Inrentlv skill.
Tb problem of discovering th nature
of th upper atmosphere Is that of find
ing some wsy of sending Instruments
Into regions when man cannot go. snd
But there would bs no uto m sending
aa instrument anywhere unlets tt could
maka a record of Its strange surround
ings. Thus thermometers can be placed
la heat where no lite oeuld exist and
record the degree of temperature. And
barometers likewise caa be put Into au
to rare that It would not enter tha lungs
snd enable one Mr breaths. And ther-
metera combined with barometers
bav beta sent up to reglena so cold and
with air so rare that organic lit oould
not xlst therein. .
Ths atmospheric envelope la far more
elaborate and com plea thaa any thought
possible berore late studies of, upper re
gions. Thus beside the components ot
chemically pure air, -wayien and nitro
gen, there exist argon, xenon, krypton
and neon, newly dlscovsred gssea. These
are In such minute quantities that they
escaped al chemists before the but
twenty years.
Scientific men carried up Instruments
in balloons ss early aa 17M, ''but these
wer crude in comparison with modern.
And they had no apparatus for measur
ing siectrlctty snd magnetism. Indeed,
they did not then know that thess pow
erful end alto- week areata could be
ineasured. Since those remote scentlflc
times thousands ot ascents hsvs been
mode by men; and wbea the limit of
humaa endurance was reached greater
heights meant death from cold and want
of air.
But, all undaunted, knowledge haa
keen gained of ths suite ot ths sir far
above the possible reach ot maa himself.
tappoo all the air passible be pumped
from a hollow globs of metal, say, down
to th ene-mllliontb. Attach this to a
small ballooa and allow It to ascend ta
great heights as far as It oan. An auto
matic device opens and doses the empty
glob. But wbea open the air sad all
It contains rushes In and thus a sample
at thess altitudes Is secured ajd .brought
dowa la labvmtorlea. '
Hygrometers, watsr vapor measures,
have often been sent up, aad these wer
self-recording, and watery vapor bat
bean detected st enormous heights.
Electrics! apparatus, automatl record
ing, bav been sent te elevated regions
snd free electricity baa bean "sensed"
snd measured. Likewise magnetic In
struments, and atysterloua 'msgnatiim
hss been dlscovsred up there.
Fhotomotera. Ugbt-measiires, have hern
many times seal up to measure th rate
of absorption of light from tbs sun
also moo a. Light reflected from clouds,
lea partkles and frost Is at times
changed to tb potarlsed stats.
Captive balloons wars used Is 16.
Anchored t tho earth they carried thin
wires through which currents of elec
tricity were seat up ta seal sued soft
Iron cores which at once bsosm msg
nets, opening sad closing phot cameras,
thus securing for tho first time pictures
of clouds, banks of Ice spicule aad frost
Spectroscopes hsvs been taken up aod
apectra secured of ths sua, and of sun
light reflected from elowda bs detsrmllse
tho radiant energy ot the sua.
Anemometers bars searched out In
tricate, complex ratee, directions and sll
change In winds and sir currents In
upper regions. Tbs ancient saving "as
fleeting as tbs wind" la tree. High
flying kites bearing seaslttva apparatus
are used la some stations.
Balloon-sondea, small free ballona and
pilot ballona ascend far btghor than tt
Is possible for captives or kites. Thess
are tree. The reader may wonder how
ws csa obtain sdentifle data by means
of free flyers Two bslieoas ars Joined,
one barge and of weak material, tho other
email and strong. Th Instruments are
fattened to this. At great height the air
becomes so rare that ths hydrogen, ex
panding, bursts the weak walla and si
lows the strong to falL Free flyers bav
been sent up from decks of ships at see,
and the falling bsjoona ar provided with
floats and are picked wp from tho waves.
Instruments made ot Invar have heea
munched Into th cerulean blue. Invar
being the new invariable metal, not
changing with temperature. On page
of The Bee would be required ta hold the
tables a reaulta snd discoveries. Meter.
legy is I
" f