The Omaha Sunday . Bee Magazine Page
Copyright 1912, by AmsricsJ-ExamlnsT. GrMt BrlUl Rights Rrr4.
An Etiquette Page
Just for Girls
By
Gelett Burgess 1
The "Give nd TdKe
Or Partnership Jilt
hi
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IIWIIIII
The London ,
Cainty beuty I
Gabriell lUy, - , '
now Mrs. Erie
LoaW.wbo t
bubmTOUtlj, 1 4
cruelly and fA
callouily ' , - f-l- i '
jated Mr. x J t'-'
Lodef by the I fM'
if (be did
marry him
after twenty.
four hoars,
has mad this
etiquette page
: necessary.
De Quincey Proved That MURDER Is a Fine Art;
There 1$ a Scientific "Death StroRe" in BULL
FIGHTS; EUTHANASIA Practises the "Happy
Release;" Causes for DIVORCE Are .Easily Ar
ranged; We Have Grown Accustomed to Pain
, less DENTISTRY; Bat the Practice of "Throw-
ing a Man Over" Is Still Crude!
By Gelett Burgess.
iiTXTTUTlXQ AT THE CHURCH" la the latest
X . popular pastime, of the British artst racy.
' Ho -far the well-known song en that
subject hasnfluenced fashion It la hsrd to say. Some
where. Oscar Wilde (or no, was it Whistler?) said
that Nstore lored te Imiute Art. The quotation would
bare a fine hlsb-brow application to the present Eng
lish jilting system, it It were not that, nowadays, it
is the groom, and not the bride, who is left "waiting
at the church." This takes ths point out of the chorus,
My Wife Won't Let Me!"
The new chorus to the song ertdently must be, "A
Voman Has a Right to Change Her Mladl" That, at
least, is what Gabrielle Ray thought .
Oabrlelle Ray is a professional beauty, the "smaab
Ingest of George Edwsrdes's corps of man-charmers
at tbe London "Gaiety" Theatre, which is world-re
nowned for its pretty women. To qualify as a Gaiety axe method
girl one has to have, besides good looks, one thou
sand dollars for admission fee. Next comes an auto- and who, even
mobile and a dainty plnk-and-goia apartment in may
fair, Kensington, or some equally fashionable London
district. .
Gabrielle had all these, and more; for her ap
pearance behind the footlights brought her suitors by
the score. Score! Yes, hundreds! Gabrielle kept most
of the Johnnies and Algles and Freddies in town
jumping through her hoop.
Lord Dalmeny was after her, coronet In hand; so
was tbe Marquia of Anglesey, hot-foot. No European
actress's reputation is complete, of course, without
i ' numbering ex-King Uannel's affection. Gabrielle Ray
claimed His Majesty, too. and, with a brigade of lesser
known peers, plutocrats and such persecuting her with
bouquets snd notes and jewels. It was not long before
she ehut her eyes and picked Erie Loder out of the
grab-bag, a young grandson of 8lr Edmund Loder, one
of the wealthiest knights of the realm. -
Erie Loder made good; It waa i regular Robert
Chambers courtship. Eric presented her, it Is said,
with a diamond every morning ao, for some months,
ahe nut off tbe wedding.
' When, at last, she "nimed the day," the wedding
waa stage-mansged by an expert press agent The
ceremony was to be the most gorglorious Erie Loder's
$10,000,004 could produce. He bought the most ex
pensive Archbishop In the country, he hired the most
exclusive Windsor Roman Catholic church. Eric hai.
a brand-new suit of wedding clothes made, with braid
two Inches wide, an 4 spent moat of the remainder of
his fortune for musle and flowers. He bought all the
orchids in the world.
Groom and groomsmen, bridesmaids, friends of ths
- family, priest, verger, sexton and choir were all ready
and all dressed op on Thursday. February 29. It was
aa unfortunate date leap year day. No knowing what
- women may do!
Tbe orrsrrUt played on, whtle the grinning groom
with his top hat waited la the chancel. Fifteen mln
tee passed, and young Eric Loder began to grow pale;
thirty minutes, and be wss still anxiously feeling of
his necktie, behind. The organist began all ovar again,
the dowagers began to yawnAsd every person In the
church, fro-a tbe pew-opener to. the parson, knew that
'something Vsi np." A hurried onsaltatlon of ushers
. ensued; the magnificent honeymva automobile wss
' dtspstcbed to Mar fair. At Miss Bar's apartment the
maid Informed the meeeengers that Gabrielle was lit
But WHY had Gabrielle not notified the guestaT
- Why had she te' tbe arrangements go on. allow the
curtain to be actaally rung an on the eeremonyr No
one knows but Gabrielle Ray! She. spoiled darling,
doeunt bare to telL
' The groom, prostrated, waa taken to hie home
' biting errelr at M t" M-bnd'ed rare. Tbe com
pany, after much wbspertng, departed from the church.
That ths popular favorite of the English comedy stage
had jilted a millionaire was not ao remarkable; hot
. tbst she hsd potflcly Insulted snd humiliated htm at
the last moment wss Inexplicable. It was not "aport-
log.' as titer ear In ljndoa.
Still, It was not the first time It had been done la
London.
than year ago Lsdy Constance FoIJambe.
rA ; :... v. . "
, lit..., i
i i ' - W
;
: M .: J-V"
half-sUtsr of the Earl of Liverpool. Controller of the
MIS' Household, etc, etc, hsd plsyed the same
brilliant Joke on the Rev. A. H. K. Hawkins, the
vicar of a Yorkehlre hamlet This wss on July 4,
known la America as 'Independence Day." The bride's
Declaration of Independence, however, came next day
In the form of a letter which artlessly stated that she
had "changed her mind."
This Is ths exceedingly easual way In which -EdS-nsh
brides are now regarding the marriage ceremony.
One can Imagine them Baying, like Willie Collier In
"I'll Be Hanged if I Do." when the agonized message
comes. "There, 1 fAosfAl there wss something I had
to do to-day!"
Of course, every one will sgree thst It's "better
late than never," and that even so brutal a rupture
Is better than a life of misery; but can't It be done
a bit more neatly than this? Miss Ray used pile
Criver, and Lady Constance used an axe, so to speak.
We do these things mors artistically In the United
Ststes.
What la the Etiquette of Jilting, then? There must
be some code, some rules for the guidance of women
desiring to switch, so thst they needn't change their
mlnda so Indecently in public la ths theatre nothing
la so dresded by actors snd audience as a "stags
wait" la a ehurch It la almost as bad. One get to
thinking of the wedding presents ons has bought so
uselessly. Can they be returned? One ia too apt to
watch the groom's face change (Uke heated steel)
from gray to yellow, from pink, to scarlet What will
he do with the ring? Will the clergyman tssns re
turn checks for postponed performance? All this),'
ths Prince of Denmark mi out neSr mlit , hIt
surely, can and should be avoided. "Hamlet" with
Now, jilting must inevitably cause pain. Modern
science, however, has advanced, with the ase of an
aesthetics, to a point where the infliction of pain la
reduced to a minimum la all operations. Why, even
la Spanish bull fight it the matador, after the
. top,orl- es not drop his ricOm In
stantly with a single plunge of the sword between the
""'vertebrae, the crowd hisses violently. The
dentist klllo the nerve before he usee the drill; the
aurgeon administers ether before he amputates the
Bssless appendix.
Th ?ok on etiquette are all reticent on the ques
tion. How to Jilt Fiance," We can easily fiad in-
4
- n
saV j m
struct! on shout letters of eon do
lence to Retired Undertakers, How
to Est Chewing Gum; and Where
to Wear a Black Sblrt We usve
Rules tor Addressing Coops. Out
ness snd Ghosts, snd also "Dont a
for Dabs " Yet tbe jilt is as prev
alent as the turkey trot snd every
woman should know tbe rules of
the game. They are. briefly: ,
First, Remember thst a kiss le
ss efficacious aa a kick. If given
to the proper psrson. If ths girl
does the kissing, ths man will de
the kicking himself.
Second. Nsvsr break the en
gagement by mesne of a postal
;ard. It Is not necessary for any
tns to witness your signature.
Third. It Is not necessary for
a woman te give a rsssen for
changing her mind, but a few crit
ical comments upor. hie looks,
stress and manners will grestly
modify he sadness at the e
trangsmsnt -
Fourth. Ooed fonn requires
thst a woman should return all
presents when severing her rela
tions to her fiance. Candy, hew
ever, need not be sent bsck If K
has been eaten. Olsmends should
never be wrapped In newspapers
Psck his letters In ssbeetos and
Uke copies of sll poetical veraee
for future use. He may become
engsged te your best frlsnd.
Fifth. It Is wise to hsvs the
new men proposs before you defl
nitsly east eff the . old one. If
your former lover refuses to be
released, however, mention the
fact to No. 2, snd let the men
srrsnge It In a gentlsmsnly man
ner outside of ths hsuse.
These rules, however, are more
or less formal, la most eases tbe
matter can easily be settled by a
personal Interview, maintaining
the friendship on a ersaimon-sense
bases. Suppose, tor Instance, that the man you are en
gaged to sails, aa usual, unaware of your ehaaae ot
mind. Ton have only to approach the subject sa follows:
"John, do yon believe In ths Fourth Dimension T
He will answer "No." You continue: "Are yoa a Prag
mstlst? Have yon an Eighth Sense? Do yoa under
stand ths Hendsllsn Laws of VarlatlsnT By this
time he will probably cower, and you must set firmly.
"John, I have beea studying Eageaioa. I hava read
Nordau. old Doc Woods Hutchinson, ,
Nlstssohs and ths Annual Reports ot
si! the State Insane Asylums sines
ths year 1888. Biology teaches, and
tbs biographies ot ths crowned hesds
of Servia prove, that we are Incom
patible. Hegel hints that ths fste ot
tbe mscrocosm Inheres In the ten
dency of tbe microcosm. We simply
csnnot combat Tendencies. My great
grandfather developed an Ingrowing
Ego st the sge of thirty, and you have
often told me of how your maternal
sunt used to throw her sbectscies st
4km uu.U arkAHawAa h mti hnt ,n.
I Don't you see. darling, that our third
J son would probably be a taxlcab ban-
'. dlt or perish while jumping from a
I ' firing machine, and that all our daugh
ters would be sntl-suffrsgettes? It
would be too terrible, we neve no
right to sacrifice the race to our own
private happiness. Why, even Dsrwln
proved that the eighteenth child of
such oncogenic onions must Inevitably
be afflicted with a horrible thirst for
ms'tsd milk."
"But, my dear," be might say, "isn't
It a bit premature, you kaow, sll thst?
Ws might go In for Race Suicide,
perhaps."
-Ah," yon retort, "I hsvs hsd my
blood sxsmlned by specialist I hare
only 11.364.000 phagocltes to ths white
corpuscle, and, although Socialism
doess't forma suen persons io msrrj.
It would be exoeedlngly unwlss. in
such esses we cannot be too careful"
No aa could feel really hurt at such dismissal,
aad tswsr yet would rsfuse to go. Lady Foljambes
manners remind us of ths old song: ...
"It wan all very well to dissemble your lovs.
But why did yoa kick me downstairs?"
But If there are rules for the jilter, there to. also,
a cods Etiquette tor the JUtee.
While wsltlng In the church, for Instance, the
best grooms do not bsrk at ths clergymsn. or bite
ths bridesmaids during ths first hour, at least Only
ths mildest gnaahlng of the teeth la permitted.
A proper respect toward ths ex-bride demands that
ths jlltee must not become artificially Intoxicated for
one week. The period of mourning dependa. of course,
upon circumstances; but aa a general proposition It
I safe to eay that the Jilted ususlly does not com-,
meoce making love to any one until tbe girl la re-
engaged. Do not. at any rate, kiss women tn restau
ranta or public places until you are quite sure tbst
your actions will not be misunderstood.
Do not give her letters to reporters without a re-
"Never aoeuss your ex-bride of hydrophobia, color
blindness, megalomsnla, spavin, or anything eccentric,
m order to excuse yourself. Take all the blame, and
see that the clergyman and choir are paid before you
leave the church. The ring may be made over Into a
stickpin to the form ot a lemon. If desired, and pre
sented to your mother-ln-law-to-have-been.
But If the ordinary American la unfamiliar with
the etiquette of jilting. It Is mainly because hs so sel
dom needs ths rules. Can you Imagine an American,
for Instance, not finding out that something was wrong
before tbs fatal day. like poor Erie Loder or Vlcsr
Hswkins? No! Hs wouldn't bavs engaged the minister
till he waa sure the bride waa la one ot her lucid
Intervals
But there Is a cods of etiquette which win bo still
more necessary this year, svea In the United States.
This will govern tbe cases where the msn wishes to
get rid of the girt For the yesr 1912 is dirigible by
four and lean-vear rrotwea'' have begun, st the In
stigat'ou ot Mayor Gaynor. How are yoa going to let
her down gently? No appeal to reason will do with
a woman. There are sure to be some lively cases of
jilting before Christmas, but. whatever yoa do. have
It out with her somehow before the ceremony, snd
don't In any case, keep her "waiting at the church!"