The Omaha Sunday-Brb Magazine Page
Opyrlfht, 112, r American-Examiner. Orsat Britain Rights Reserved.
G
vr"-
Sure Way to Catch Every
riminalo Ha! Ha!
Sherlock Holmes, "Raffles, " Arsene Lupin,
M. Lecocq, Carolyn Wells and Other
Infallible Detectives Test the New Scientific
"SPEAKING LIKENESS" Discovery.
By Carolyn Wells.
'J-
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THE International Society of Infallible Detectives
, bad assembled In their luxurious office on
Fakir street this tine to bold an, indignation
meeting. ,
. "Utterly ' absurd," - declared President'' Sherlock .
'.'. Holmes; "the Berttllon system li
sufficiently unnecessary, bnt thii Por
trait Fir l li a thousand timet
worse." ' .
-What in Itr naked the Thinking
Machine, querulously, "what Is a Por
trait Parle!"
"Don't yon , know any French V
asked H. Leoocq. superciliously; It la
a a portrait that telle."
"It's a speaking likeness," broke In
Raffles, and ' Holme ' exclaimed:
"Speaking likeness! It's a ecreamlng
absurdity!" I
"It'a roaring farce,' contributed
Areene Lupin to the general opinion,
and Luther Treat remarked thought
fully: "It'a a thundering shame!"
"But what it Itr whined the Think
ing Machine; "do somebody tell me!"
"WellA eald Raffles, who waa ever
polite to the pettlih old man, It'a a
way of describing crlmlnala so 70a
DJ, t can alwaya recognize 'em. It's ape
Vv JJi e'eaorlptUra of each feature, a re
, 11 1 11 , ord of each meaaurement and a de-,
"A meaaent or armed tailed account of any peculiarities the
with a, how. whicfc ,ubJ0t "T POa"
Watson plated on f "P" absurdl" ranted Holmes; ,
, s jr woe weren't tn very things
I deduce from abstract clews. The
very deductions that I have built my tame upon! 8how
me the elews, and I describe the Portrait Parle my
self!" ,, . ,
, "Marvelous. Holmes! Marvelous!
aid Dr. Watson, but a trifle
hanlcally, as he wm absorbed In an
intricate testing experiment, and
bad his head In rubber bag- '
"I think It's a great thing,1 de
clared M. Lupin, 'If I had bad such
a belp In my younger days, I should
ow be even more celebrated than
lam."
. "Nonsense, Lupin," said Holmes,
with a slight trace of eaturntnlty In
bis tone, "only a defective detective
needs such a help. To my mind this
Portrait Pari takes away all my
chance for spectacular exploits; It Q:
leave me no room for marveloua
deduction.
"And Incidentally leave me with
out an appropriate comment," aald
Watson, who bad recovered bis
head. .
."Detecting isn't what It used to be," complained M.
Lecocq; "why, even the climate baa changed, and that
'light snow,' so indispensable In footprint work, now
rarely falls at the right moment" ! .
' "But one doesn't need footprint with finger and
thumb prints," observed Luther Ttant ' '
"No," grunted the Thinking Machine, "and with, this
- th table,"
'V-
new Portrait Parle one doesn't need a detective in
stinct at all."
"Of course not," assented Holmes, bitterly, "one
might a well see the omelette and then deduce broken
egg."
"Marvelous, Holmes, marvelous." breathed Watson,
aadly, half fearing he said the words for the last -time.
At that juncture the telephone rang and the Chief
of Police wished speech with the society.
Being nearest the Instrument, Arsene Lupin answered.
"Here's luck, fellows," he said, after hearing the mes
sage. "The Chief wants us to hunt up a hidden1
criminal, and be la sending us his Portrait Parle."
Various sniffs, sneers and snorts greeted this in
formation,' but with true detective taciturnity they
awaited the arrival of .the new labor-saving device. A
messenger arrived with a box, which Watson placed
oa the table. '
' The member of the society gathered round and stood
agape, agog and agley, while President Holmes lifted
the cover. 1
They saw what seemed to be a collection of hastily
gathered Junk. There waa an old lantern, a gimlet, an
iron hook, and a hatchet,' Then In a small box was a
carab, or Egyptian beetle. In another box was an
apple and a carrot, and wrapped In a sheet of butcher's ,
paper, was an uncooked mutton chop. In a eaterer'a
bos was a tempting looking pie.
Baffle looked at the pie appropriately, but, after
all, he was only a dilettante detective. The others, be
ing the jreal thing, scorned to think of food, save for
the Thinking Machine, who greatly desired to munch
the7 apple. '
President Holmes folded his arms and put on a look
fthaf was saturnine to his very finger tips. "What do
. yon hear the portrait say, gentlemen r be asked.
M. Lupin thrust his band among his frogged lapels
and said, oracularly:
"It Is a great scheme. Behold, we construct our man
He is an archaeologist, we leara from the 1; I
"They saw what seemed to be a collection
of hastily fathered junk."
at once.
acarab."
"And a butcher, we learn from the cutlet," broke in
M. Lecocq, who was ever the Jealous rival of his com
patriot. ; .
"He is a pastry cook," suggested Raffles, still eyeing
the pie, which was a meringue.
"A fanner," declared the Thinking Machine, with
his eyes wandering from the apple to the carrot
"A carpenter, mora likely," aald Arsene Lupin; "see
the gimlet, the hatchet and that big Iron hook."
"And the lantern V asked Holmes, looking aquiline
for a change. . . '
"That proves' the farmer," whined the Thinking
Machine, Insistently.
"Not at all," said Holmes, "It proves we are to look
for an honest man." . - 1
Watsop declaimed a few well chosen words, and then
Raffles said, airily: "But we're to look for a criminal
The lantern merely meana It's a light matter, after all."
"Does the carrot imply we are donkeys?" demanded
M. Lecocq, who wa quick to catch an implication. But
no one replied, for each was Intent on puxxllng out
the meaning of the Portrait Parle. )
"The hatchet Indicates that It is burled," mused
Holmes, "and the lantern will be. useful In digging."
"We don't hare to dig at night," aald Raffles. "I
think the mutton chop and pie Indicate dinner time."
"Well, anyway, we're to dig," persisted Holmes, and
Lupin aald solemnly, "Of course; why, that beetle Is
the clew a the Gold Bug was. It's a case of burled
treasure. The Hook, of, course, la a locality," a penin
sula or rocky coast" .
"And the apple Indicate the Garden of Eden, I tup-
pose," Jeered Arsene Lnpln; It's too far away, I won't
go there."
"You're all too literal," said the Thinking Mschlne,
peevishly, "these things are merely Imaginative sug
gestions. The apple Is remindful of Paris and Helen,
and so, 1 reason, the criminal we're to search for Is a
beautiful woman."
"Then let us cAercAcs 1 fcmme at once," cried
Raff, is, who was evet a gallant
"We'll never accomplish anything working together,"
said Holmes, at last "All celebrated detectives must
celebrate alone. Go your ways, my friends; remember'
the Portrait Parle, and return to-morrow night with
the criminal it represents." .
Glad to pursue their favorite and well known
methods, the Infallible detectives broke up the meet
ing and disappeared.
Back to the Fakir street rooms they trooped the
next night each triumphantly leading a criminal of his
own selection, snd each secure In a true detective
complacency that his was the right man.
H. Lupin, had arrested a prominent archaeologist
the Thinking Machine brought a blustering, well-to-do
farmer, and Raffles brought a dapper French pastry
cook. Each had his quarry, and as the meeting con
vened President Holmes prepared to hear and pass
Judgment on the various clalma from his own infallible
viewpoint
1 'I think it'a a great thing,' declared M. Lupin."
y .
The telephone bell rang.
"Is this Mr. Holmesr asked the Chief of Police.
"Yea," aaid Holmes, aainlnaly I mean aqulllnely.
"Well, we have found the criminal wo wanted, so yon
may call off your search."
"Indeed," said Holmes. "May I ask you to bring him
over here and compare him with too Portrait Parle
which yon aent me?"
1 will bring him at once," replied the urbane and
obliging Chief.
The members of the In
. ternational Society of In
fallible Detectives aat in
grim gloom until the
Chief arrived, leading an
abject looking criminal,
whom they scanned with
interest He waa assur
edly not a sclentlflo man.
, nor wwa be apparently a
The Chief arrived, leading an abject looking criminal."
farmer; nor yet to all appearances, it carpenter or a
pastry cook. ..
"I fear, began President Holmes, In a sarcastic
monotone, "we do not entirely understand the fluent
language of your Portrait Parle."
"Not" said the Chief of Police, In surprise; "why, my
dear air, you've only to look at this man to see that be
Is perfectly photographed by the Portrait Parle I sent
you. Observe his features! Is he not lantern-jawed,
beetle-browed gimlet-eyed, apple-cheeked- and hatchet
faced T Haa be not a book nose, mutton chop whiskers,
carroty hair and a pie mouth? Are yon all so dense
you cannot understand such a speaking description?'
"Enough, Chief," said .tolmes. with a wave of his
long, white band; "enough; your Portrait Parle la a
chatterbox!"
1
WhyWeWant to Do Away with "Machine Motherhood"
By Mrs. Wm. Grant Brown (President f the City rederattea ef Wsmcn's asks)
V S
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: . "'I
Mri." W. C. Brown, Who Defends Clubwomen.
WOMEN-S clubs laugh at the fear of back
number or ignorant folk who say that
the dab interferes with the home. The
truth is that clubs of women are alwaya the '
force behind movements for strengthening the
home.
The pure food law la a child of the women's
clubs. The children's bureau, by means of which
we will gain the Information about the needs and
conditions of children tn this country la our
measure. But what we consider the finest flower
of our achievement la the keeping hart orpbsna
under a bom roof and a mother's care. It wa
on of the organizations in the Federation of
Women's Clubs that started the Widowed Mother
Fund and our Federation, representing 75.000
women, is solidly behind tie bill asking the ap
pointment of a committee of seven, who shall
keep the destitute widowed mother and her chil
dren together.
I regard thia as oas of the great humane
movements of the century. Instead of scattering -
" a home aaudlrefully as the tribe were scattered
at Babel, w are working to keep the child ondex.
a mother' Influence Instead of In aa tostltntjoa,
and Instead of being boarded out when there
is no room la an Institution for It In one case
toe child la aa bad off as the other.
The institution for children Is at It best, snd
with tbe best intentions at most a machine-made
mother. It goes through the movements of va.ih-'
tug a child's (ace, of combing Us bair. of feeding
It, but It cannot do what only the real mother
caa do, love it. . ,
Any mother who la temperate is a better
guide for a child than a charitable institution
or than a woman who takes hie little one to
board. Neither give tbe child tbe Individual
moral training It would receive from Its mother
at home.
I have first hand knowledge or th institu
tional child, for I am the guardian of one who
lived lta first six years in aa institution. It was,
like all such children, a strange, sad-faced,
silent little creature, and hard aa adamant For
a long time it would not eat soup, until I learned
that it wouldn't eat It from a plate, because it
had been need to a bowl It waa a long time be
fore it would drink milk from a glass, for It bad
been used to a tin cup. The, poor little thing
had not beea V child In a borne. . It had been
one of an army, the army of the repressed. In
stitutions by their very conditions and necessi
ties, crush th real self of a child.
The child too seldom counts la the world of
men and women. It has become weak rilled,
and walta to be told what to do. It la Ilk a
chicken that haa beea kept la aa Incubator and
never allowed to run la a yard and scratch
worms tor itselt It becomes a creature without
self reliance, and that is alwaya a poor sort of
chicken, as it Is a man or woman. I am quit
war that somebody will remember that he ha
beard that tbe Governor of one of the Western
Ststes wss once a foundling In aa institution.
Occasional ly we bear of aa exceptional result
from the Institutional start in life, but In th
majority of cases the children grow p weaklings
In the battle of lire. The children of such are
liable to become Institution children, a their
forebear were, for it has- been proven that the
Institution child nearly alwaya "throws back" to
another institution child four or five generations
before, tn Its family line. . -
Now take the child whom tbe State boards
out paying, as the law requires, 18 to $10 a
month for lta keep. That child goea into a
family where there are three or four other chil
dren. Of course, the woman who take th
child to board favors her own children. The llt
tie one Is sa intruder, tolerated usually only be
cause of the money it brings. It la left out of
the household plans whenever possible. It gets
little fondling and few kind words. Love it set
dom known And what happens? It learns to
hate humanity. And out of hatred the criminal
Impulse Is born. This unloved, lonely child Joins
the crowd that fills our jails. ty.
The widowed mother is visited by aa Investi
gator of charity conditions, and is found to be
destitute. If It la found that through no fault
of her own, ahe la without funds, thechildren
are placed In a great place called a "borne." but
that ks never such, or th State fund is drawn
upon and the little one Is boarded out All
that I have pointed out follows, and the broken
hearted mother goes out alone, beaten at the
beginning, to work.
The women's clubs believe that tbe child
should be kept under the borne roof aad the
mother should not be forced to go out to work.
Tbe State belp given, la the case, we will say.
of three or four children, will enable her to eep
the chiktrea with her to love them and properly
rear them until the time comes when they have
gone through school After that when th child
is able to earn something, the State sid ceases.
Instead of sundering and neglecting homes, we
are saving and guarding them. .
A child needs love aa a plant needa sunshine.
It needs to fed that It ia an Important figure
in the calculations of a household. The child,
growing up in tbe sunshine of a home where It
is beloved, haa a fair start la life. The poor
little creature who ia regarded and learn to
regard Itself a a fifth wheel starts with a hani
dicap. Of what us Is a fifth wheel? Brought
np tn an institution or In a house that Is not
home to it the child grows not only helpless
but sullen and antagonistic. Love is the great
solvent Under Its spell the ordinary person is
transfigured, and the extraordinary per3oa
grown into something like a godhead. In an
Institution or In a bouse where It reluctantly
boarded the child does not learn tbe lesson of
helpfulness to humanity. My pleaaantest most
inspiring memories of Wellesley, like thos of
every student from file dear old college, is that
we were trained In a broad spirit of helpfulness
to humanity. Those lessons persist through
life.
Don't confound club women with idle society
women. Lay charges of home neglect and family
indifference where they belong. I am a member
of a Fifth avenue church, and was one of a com
mittee that visited the bomcs to learn why our
Sunday school languished. The secret we socn
learned. There was a slight attendance at Sun
day school because there were no children ta
the members' homes'