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THE BEE: OMAHA. SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 10. 1012.
19
it T1
SILK HAT HARRY'S DIVORCE SUIT
. It Takes a Lawyer to Steer You Right
Copyright, mi National New Association
By Tad
(TtTr (S'tSSCV 1 f OFFICE 1 Tl f fl H J I , 2
Cupid and Poverty
J
Br. DOROTHV llIX.
Three thousand eight hundred and
lEpty-tbre person " were arranged In
the domestic relations court in New York
during tin year Mil;
Jusf think of Uia amount of domestic
misery that these .
.vjt,.
figure ' represent,
think of the deeerta
of bleated Illusions'
and blighted, hopes,
ot th mountains of
broken dreamt, the
aalt seas of tears
for which they
etand! Just think,
that In one city
alone, beside the
ubiquitous common,
or garden variety
of family spats
there were UB&
husband! and wives
who quarrelled to
such aa extent that
that they took their
troubles Into court.
, It la appalling. It la enough to make
anybody conclude that tt' marriage Isn't
a failure It la the short cut to trouble.
1ft commenting on those raws of do
mestic Infelicity. Mice Ron McQuade.Vhe
probation officer of the domestic rela
tions court, says: . .
"The chief source ot discord between
married people that sends them to our
'court Is'tBe mother-rn-raw.-'ir makes no
difference whether It's the. man's mother
or the woman's mother. Her appearance
la a household la th beginning of trouble
and I hare coma to the conclusion that
a mother-in-law ahould never pay more
than a formal call to the home of her
sen-ln-law. And under no circumstances
should she remain overnight. '. j
"The second aourse of tronble Is drink
ing on the part of the husband and
slovenliness on the part of the wife. A
third reason for disagreement In the
family Is extravagance and shlftleasnesa.
"But underneath all Is. the vital fact
sits on the door step, howling, and
where the husband's and wlfe'a nerves
are on edge with' anxiety about the fu
ture, and overstrain and privation In the
present.
The maa who sees his family half 'atanr
Ing on his Insufficient wage, who looks
at his wife's worn, white face, and bis
undernourished children, must curse him
self for having brought such misery oa
those he loves snd for a fool for having
married. The wife who sees her hus
band hagirard and old, and worn out be
fore his time, striving vainly to support
Ms family In comfort, must reproach her
self for being a burden upon him and feel
It would have been better, for both of
them if they had been stricken dead on
their 'wedding day Instead of plunging
recklessly Into a Jite .that haa meant
nothing but hardships to both ot them.
It Is Inevitable that the man. being
human, under such circumstances con
trasts his lot with that of his unmarried
companions who on the same salary are
enabled to live comfortably because they
can spend all tbey make on themselves.
It h Inevitable that the woman, ' being
human, should contrast her lot with that
of her unmarried friends who work no
harder than she does, but whose salaries
enabls them to have good eluothea and
good food and a comfortable place to
live In. It Is also Inevitable under such
circumstances that the man and the
woman should reproach each other and
ear leal that the other waa to Mama.
Unfortunately for romance, oar phy
sical needs are more pressing than our
'spiritual one. Nobody cares a rap
about bla heart when his stomach la
empty. Nobody Is sentimental when
hungry or uncomfortable, and for these
reasons eupld peak up his grip and
hikes out for a more congenial location
when poverty Invades a heme.
The statistics of the Domestic rela
tion court are earnestly commended
to the attention of all the young
Romeos who are contemplating matri
mony on fit and fl) per. It I s t
Gee! Your a Happy Guy!
By Tad
IffHSna that thstv win Ha wsil tn
that the average weekly wage of the , hw) or t t(UhM (hu nrri.
on an Insufficient .Income doesn't bring
man arralnged hers Is between tl and
114"
This sounds sordid, doesn't It? The ro
mantlo young creatures who are con
templating marrying on nothing but love,
and who believe that they can live on
kisses win be horrified at this plain blunt
statement of the fact that love's young
dream haa to be sustained on beefsteak
and onions, or else It turns up Its little
toes and dies, and that people who lack
the ordinary oemfort of life no longer
kiss. They snap and snarl at each other.
Tet such Is .unfortunately the ease.
Slarrlage la a business, aa welt aa a sen
timental proposition, and It goes Into
bankruptcy If It has not a suffidentf
flasndal backlns This does not mean
that It must be capitalised Into the mil
lions. Far from It. Undoubtedly young
people of moderate meana who work to
gether and sacrifice together and build
up together are the happiest.
But they must have enough Income
lo provide them With the ordinary com
forts and decende of life, or els their
marriage la a foredoomed failure. There
la ao such thing possible aa a cheerful,
contented, peaceful home where the wolf
a young couple happiness. It plunges
them Into certain misery.
Peepl who are always ' worried to
death over the rent and the grocery
bill, who arp overworked, and whose
tempera are raw with perpetual sacrt
flees that bars bean forced upoa them.
are net In a condition to be amiable
and ' affectionate companions. Qn the
contrary, they are ready to fight at
the drop of a hat, and they make of
their homes a perpetual battleground.
Therefore. Edwin and Angelina, heed
the warning of the Domestic Rda.
tlona court. Don't try matrimony on
fl or fit a week. Walt and work unt'
yon hav gotten enough money to Insure
love having bread and butter and an
occasional piece of pie to eat And don't
be misled Into believing that two people
can live aa cheaply as one. They can't:
and aa for children. In these sterilised
days, to support a baby costs a much
aa keeping aa automobile.
Don't marry until yon can afford the
luxury. Bo shall you keep out of the
divorce court and the Domestic Rela
tions court. Maybe.
r
Vain Imaginings
By X. J. BILL.
I'd like to bo In the Southern sea, , '
Oa a green and fertile Ule; '
V.'icro the palm trees grow, and the soft wiiuls blow, ,
And dusky maidens smile. -
Where the flowers are fair, and the fruits are rare.
And there're cocoanuta all around ; ,
T.er the stars shine bright, nlghl alter 4 It lit,
And luscloua yama abound.
Where the beach la strewn from June to June
With ablates; pearls and shells.
Where the sands resound with the booming sound
Ot the faacUnj' ocain. swells .
E-.t vest's Hie ne of tarniD? loose
SurS reams of rbynlcg gush.
When to J30W f at th work we'd like to shirk
Will lollow the monuos luuaht
BH ' I
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Sherlocko the Monk
By OCB MAOKB. :.; ;
CopyrlghU. 1 National News Assn.
The Adventure of the Mahogany Table
VANPALS in MY
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irvii
Izaak Walton
v.
By REV. THOMAS B. GKEGORV.
Febraary 10, legs.
The, "Complete Angler," by laaak Wei.
ton. published Us years ago. la one ef the
most remarkable books In the world.
Those who have not read It have aliased
the feast of their live. It haa been the
delight of the elect
of th earth Tor
more than two cen
turies and a half.
and Its popularity
la greater today
than It ever waa
The quaint e I d
London llnea draper
made tor himself
through the writ
ing- ot hie little
book a reputation
that wilt live for
ever. There is no
name In literature
whose immortality Is more secure thaa
that ot laaak Walton.
Nor Is the reason far to seek. Walton
fished, ever "taking care to handle the
fish as though he loved then! and aa be
fished ha thought and dreamed about
himself and the fishes and the great
nature about him, and of human life la
general; and out ot those thoughts and
dreams the "Complete Angler grew aa
naturally and beautifully as the rose
grows out ot the rosebush.
Thua are we able ta account tor the
fact thst there rune throughout the little
book the "one touch of nature that
makes the whole world km." Men of
all raees and natlonalltlea, ef all creeds
and parties, read the "Complete Angler"
and find lit It the joy that cannot be
bought for pold, and which, having
tasted, they would not sell for all the
gold la the world. ,
It has been said that In the bland and!
soothing air of Madeira "babies never j
cry and grown people never despair;."!
certain It is that In the mental stmes-j
phere of Watson's little book no eejs'
oaa feel blue, or hateful, or selfish. If
spirit makes us all brothers, all friends
and helpers one of snother, sad at tbei
same time Inspires us. with the feellac
that there Is nothing la the whole anf
verse that la going to, harm us, jot that
wants to harm us. , .
The folly of human greed; the fatter
vanity snd emptiness ot the human dis
tinctions that have distracted and cursed
the world; the sheer foolishness of th
prides and ambitions which have kedi
at the bottom ot moat of the wars and
oppressions that have degraded and des
olated humanity; the wealth ot a dear
conscience and a humble, contented
mind; the glory belonging to the eeftl
that quietly eommunea vtth nature
and through nature with stature'a OceV
these things are brought home to us In
the "Complete Angler" aa they are hr
ae ether book la all the libra rtea of the
earth. . j
"Honest eld laaak Walton." "Dear
old Isaak Walton." By suck terms fe
the II nan draper and fisherman referred
to by the multitude whe hav been
mad happier and better by hie book. .
laaak Walton founded ae empire, estab
lished no dynasty, fought ao bsltl.
originated ae school at philosophy, or
science, or art; but h gave da th
"Complete Angler," and hennas he did
that bis nam nil forever live In the
world's grateful
The Head Waitress
By HANK.
"Tou ain't got no English In yon, I
your' asksd the beadwalter oT th staady
customer as ha dolefully speared a last
been en the plat.
I bellev that centuries sgo on of my
ancestora waa a duke or eomethlng ef
th kind." he replied, but I hav never
boasted about It."
i shouldn't If I were you," aald the
heed waitress. "It ain't nothing to brag
about. I used to think that them English
aa a pretty good sort, seeing aa how
they ectue pretty Bear seeakln' our
languag and living aa ws do, but I'm
through with tbem."
'Something evidently had occurred to
upset your mental equipoise," suggested
the steady customer.
1 never heard It called that before,"
replied the head waitress. "I should say
that It was my temper that was npeet
The other afternoon I waa up to my sla
ter's whe wierried one ot them fellers
'that earns his living hers and uses up
all hi leisur Urn moanln' ever hi tat.
A lot of hi country women was la t celt
on my sister for tea' aa they call It,
although the only tea I seen cam from
th corner la csa and bad suds all
over th top.
"Well, after they had the can ef tea'
filled several tlsos. my sister borrowing
W cent from aae far the third trip to the
coraer, they started In paanln' America.
It dlda't take me long te understand why
th great American bird ain't got ae ears
that yoa can see. From the pannln' that
pore bird haa got trees theee English
dam its ears must hav been burned
right oft long ago. I sat still and didn't
say Dothla far quite awhile, but finally
one old dame who was dressed up to took
like a chicken with Its feathers rubbed
the wrong way. pipe up with spiel
that sent my goat galloping madly around
the room hollerln fcr air."
It must hav bosa tierce,' aald th
steady customer.
"Fierce waa It middle same." said the
headwaitreaa. "aae begins to say a haw
he waa out visiting a friend or hers, an
America, the ether day, and waa aafced
ta stay to dinner. Her friend asked her If
aha would like ta hav an particular kind
of disss rt and ah answers that aba
weejd bike to hav 'roly-poly.'
'Aa, what do you think r she telle as.
friend said she never heard of a
roly-poly! Th ideal What do yoa think
of a eouatry that hasn't aay roty -polys?
Why the mac est child as Eaglaad know
what a sory-Boly la. Amsrlea and Ameri
cans are oertalaJy exceedingly crude, and
eeveksrareV
"WU that waa te much for as. Roly-
poly." eays I to her, why we Jumw what
roly-poly waa before Bnglaad waa on the
may. Holy-pelya? Why. where I come
from m Connecticut, they eat rely-poiy
ssnralng. neon aad eight. There one
tcwa wp there there doe Botfaia' else but
tare eut rajy-palya. DMa't you ever bear
at Pear theaters T i uked bar. She said
never had. That's where yen show
yr IgBoraBC.' aald I. they was Bmd
after Air. Body Fall, aa saisrlfaa and
th Uvea toe eg th raiy-pely.'
Then I Mopped for I waa all out ef
breath. My sistsr was looking Masr
mortified, but I dlda't care, aad soon af
terward the company broke up Just ga
the dame whe I bad had the argument
with waa going oat she said te m vr-
sweetly. 'And do yea know what a roly-
poly faf
" 'Do you knowr says L "Of course,'
say she, Thaa what's the use at asO
telUn" your 1 anew ere back, aad she aaaa
out saying something te her friends about
be being ImaoeatMe.' ". , -
"Well, klddo." said the steady cuj
toraer. "It look Is If yoa woa out" 1
"Tea," aald the head waitress, "I did.
but I'd Ilka le ask you auaMthlng confi
dential.'
"Oe ahead." aald the steady cue taw sr.
"Writ, what the dickens la a roly-pelyT"
"Durned if t know," geld the steady
Unique Station
The wireless telegraphy station atl
Kaaso. Bear Berlin, saw possassn a!
tower which Is said te be the highest Ini
th world with th exception ef the'
Eiffel tower In Pari, sod the Hnger asal
the MatropoHtaa towers ta Hew Tori.
The tower waa originally three hundred
feet high, eut te Increase the range at
th wireless station, which la already (
able te communicate direct arita Mew
Tor. It was decided to add aaether three)
hundred feet. Thie engtneenag feat haa
beea accomplished, aad hi varcasti
weather th summit la often lost fca the,
clouds. , -
There have been ao attempt at arch
itecture! beauty in the ecaustratruen nasi
It is anything but aa attractive feacnr,
of the district," appearing Ilka A bug
mast of iron trellis work springing ver-,
tically from the earth's aurfece toward
the sky. from the uppermost extremltyi
ot which a neat ot wlrework stretches
toward the ground.
From a techalcal pout of view, hew
ever, the Nanea tower 1 probably rat-'
Inal. Its sot feondatloa la atngl stsari
ball let Into th earth. a which nets'
the entire weight ef the lion weak. On.
a structure of such Immsass height the
pewar ef the wind Is aatursily sin erne.,
and, owing te the small mil seal area
ef the tower. It wsa tinpeaalbt t na-:
act the wind ncesuis by aide esssed
(ng foundation. It was therefore um
dded to allow the lower eartain aawnat
"give,- aad the tower swings te taw
farce ( the wwxL-New Tork Trtbeae.
I
rinttlen
tbe fasts'
Sew Faahlsn ta Crtsatnal
The accused: "Tbaee era
guv-nor. What a your evidence" .
The honest lawyer: "Hum! The eeae
asjalast yon looks dear. And yen bavea'fi
eny sjaoney ta pay for n defense?" - 1
Th accused: "Only Hi, guv-sor." ;
The lawyer: "Then I straturty advfcai
i en copers, steaaa.-
you to confess.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.