Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, December 29, 1911, Page 6, Image 6

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    TJ1K J5hh: UALXUA. imilAV. DUhMHhU '2'J, 1!11.
Tin: Omaha Daily Bee
JXt'NIM HY KPWAItn ftoSKWATRK
VUTiiH ROSKWATKH
1'T.F. HI 'II. PINO.
KAKNAM AMI KTll
i:ntred at Omaha ponoifioe as second
fin matter.
TERMS OK fl nsruinioN,
Funds? He, one year ti.M
faturdav Jiee. one ymr II. J
' lelly (without SHindey). one year. 401
Dally lie and Sunday. sn ver 4.00
t'EMVERKI) BT CARBIKR. -Evenlns
Hee (with Funday, er nin...J-
lsllv Ufa (Including Sunday, per mo.Sfcc
Kelly Fee (without Sunday , per ma. ...nc
Address all cnmplalnta or Irregularities
In delivery to Cltv Oretilatlen Dept.
REMITTANCES,
ttemlt by drat. express or postal eider.
raveeie to in runiwninii tomwr.
.Only J-rent Mampa rn-TA In payment
of rnn Ml areounts. personal checks, ex
rept on Omaha, anil eastern exchange, net
accepted.
OKTirM.
Foiith CSTaba-2ls N. ft.
"'ounrll Bluff '.4 Stt St.
1lnooln as Utile Building.
; 'hrago M Marquette Rullrilng.
Kinm CtrRe!ljnre Mulldina-.
Vw Vh.1i aa U'm Tlitrf v.thlrd.
- Vihlti(lin 7?S Fourteenth St., N.
f- CXRRE8PONDF.NCE.
W.
and
rtlitorUtl matter should b addressed
Omaha Bee, Editorial Department. ,
KOVEMliEB CIRCUIA7ION
50,573
EU'a - KKalta fniintv tt TmiVlai. SI!
' Dwlght William, nrculatlon manaser
of the Ben Publishing company. being
uly aworn, ays that the average dally
rlrrnlatlon. lee spoiled, unused and re
turned eopiea. for tbe month ot Novem
ber, 191L was w.871
LiWIOHT WTLI tAM.
Circulation Manager.
BubForlhad In try presence and aworn to
before ma thla h day of December. 191L
Seal KOUERT HUNTER.
Noury PubUs.
lolMrim leaving elty
apartlr aaoala The
flee mailed to them. ASSreaa
will a eaaagea ''
reaaestea.
It certainly li a Chinese "puwle"
now.
And the water wagon only four
flays away.
Tbe year 1911 la coming down the
borne stretch.
Are you getting ready to swear off
for tbo New Year?
Have you got all your undesirable
presents "exchanged?"
At that, the goTernment la behind
time in prosecuting the watch trust,
' Setter stop giving those "peace"
dinners before they attain to a casus
fcelil.
Now, why not just carry that
Christmas spirit on into the new
year?
Perila la now trying to maVe Itself
believ It wanted to surrender to
Russia all tho time.
Because a woman llkea gaiety In
her drees does not argue' that the
will tolerate it In her husband.
Tbe cheaper setts are in the gal-
larv Mta t fit ai ' Ktif tin trrrA aetne t
overlooking tha galleries on that ac
count. An admirer has sent the president
a back acratcher. Others, however,
will continue to do the hack-blttng
for him.
In barring trust meat when the
poor packers are on trial, England
is simply kicking & fellow while he
Is down.
New York brewers hava decided
not to inereass tbe price of beer neit
year. Did not bav the heart to go
it any stronger.
Tbe last turn of the Chinese
kaleidoscope showed Premier Yuan
814 Kal, tbe standpat leader, getting
ready to insurge some himself.
Mr. Shuster says, "It Is not for
myself that I care, but for my four
teen American, asalstanta." That is
aluiJlt wb&t Oeneral Reyes said.
Tha Boston National base ball
team may wear stripes next year.
Boss Murpby of Tammany is said to
have furnished tha money to buy it.
And yet, after tha dust has set
tled down, it is difficult to make a
cloud of words and epithets prove an
argument or disprove serious
charge.
Lis cola and Omaha would ac
complish a lot mora by pulling to
gether for things in which they are
mutually Interested than by. using
their ammunition up on one another.
Among others, Frank Rqckefeller
mt on the platform while Senator La
Having ridden tbe goat. Mr. Rocke
feller may now consider himself
initiated into the league.
"Not one acre of coal land in
Alaaka has passed out of tbe grip of
the United Btates government."
says tbe Outlook's special com ml a-tiloner-lnveetlcator.
Another job for
the arbitrators. I
If Mr. Shunter is convinced he Is
out of a Job as a financial wizard, be
outfht not to have much trouble in
niidlpg an opening with some get-
rich-quick enterprise that could cash
in on his world-aide fame.
Mayor "Jlta" has acquired writers'
crump through signing his came to
(he water bonds. Juat why these
bonds should be signed before they
are sold is a question that perhaps
llie Water board xnleht answer.
The Truth About Alaska.
Secretary Fisher flattened out a
pood many of the inflated stories
about Alaska and its control by
vetted Interests upon his return from
the north after a thorough personal
investigation. Since then the coun
try has heard little of how the United
States had been robbed of this
precious peninsula and some of those
who had been loudest in acclaiming
tho theft sided right in with the sec
retary of the Interior when he ex
posed the facts. Ills official report,
therefore, paves the way to some
leal needed legislation by which
Alaftka may be developed.
The Outlook, some months ago,
commissioned W. D. Hulbert to study
and report, "What Is Really Going on
In Alaska," and the current number
contains the first serial of Mr. Hul
bert's story of what purports to be
"The Truth About Alaska. " In his
introductory he declares:
Mob! of Aliuika atlll belonKS tn all of
im collectively and not to certain Irxll
vldualu personally. I mllit aa well aay
It now aa at any time not one acre of
Kal land tiai as yet pawed finally out of
tha grip of the ftenaral government.
And yet men calling themselves
reformers and experts have been
shouting from the housetops for
more than two years of how Alaska
had been kidnaped and exploited by
"certain individuals personally," and
especially of how all the valuable and
desirable coal lands and access
thereto had been gobbled up by "cer
tain individuals personally."
The Outlook's statement will have
considerable weight, for tha fortu
nate position the paper Is In with
respect to a discussion of this sub
ject and particularly to a statement
of that kind. Tha difference In the
exposition of Secretary Fisher and
tbe Outlook's and those 'that have
gono before obviously is that the
former were purely for personal and
political purposes, while these now
being made arc for tha purpose of
getting at the truth.
The Coming- Law Revision.
The commissioners appointed to
compile and codify the statute law of
Nebraska have, according to report
from the state capital, addressed
Inquiries to various state officers for
recommendations of changea to be
made In existing laws, and the repeal
of laws regarded as no longer desir
able. Our statute books are full of
dead-letter laws that might as well
be expunged, and also contain many
foolish or- burdensome, laws that
could ba dropped out with much ad
vantage, and no loss.
Tha laudable object of. tha coda
commission in securing suggestions
for, needed changes, however, does
not alter ,th fact that tbe commis
sion has no authority whatever to In
corporate such changes in Its com
pilation, but, on tha contrary, is ex
pressly prohibited ; from doing so by
the very act of Its own creation.
The section of the law providing
for a commission, and defining" the
duties of Us members, declares that,
They shall bring together all atatutea,
and parta of atatutea, relating to tha
aame subject matter, omitting obsolete
or repealed matter, and such aa hae been
declared to be invalid by th courts hav
ing Jurisdiction thereover, supply appar
ent omlsslone, reconcile contradictions.
and note Imperfections In genertl; but
such commissioners shall have no author
ity to males any change In any act, or
part of any act, which may have the
sffect of giving a, different construction
thereto than that which may have be-n
given by tha courts of this stats or that
which may have grown out of common
cuatom or usage.
In their report to the legislature the
code compilation commissioners are
authorized to point out all tha sec
tions which in their judgment should
be changed or modified, with the rea
sons for such proposed chsnges, but
acceptance or rejection of these
recommendations will rest wholly
with the legislature, and' apparently
they will hare no greater force than
recommendations ordinarily made by
the governor In his .message or by
the various state officers direct.
What the commission will really do,
therefore, will be to bring to the at
tention of the next legislature an
unusual numbar of subjects of gen
eral legislation, and, to make It all
the more importaut that we have
law-makers next time above the
aversge in intelligence and ability to
deal with practical problems.
When We All Go Craij. .
The Census bureau publishes
ststistlc showing that the population
of 672 Insane asylums In tbe coun
try has made an increase of St. 8
per cent In six years. That is the
growth In tbo number of patients
confined within tbe institutions in
1910 as compared with 104. Of
course many insane are not
seut to any asylum. The num
ber of patients annually com
mitted shows a growth of 32.1 per
cent. Tbe heaviest increases are In
the east, the south and west having
fewer asylums and a smaller per
centage of Insane population, but on
the whole insanity -seems to be
spreading In this country.
Possibly in this rather doleful
state of affairs we may find slight
Justification for the popularity of tbe
plea of non compoa mentis In ex
tenuation of criminal charges and as
Uie bssls of defense of those ac
cused of violent crime. Or, this con
dition may simply show the verity of
tbe recent philosophical prediction
that within 300 years we would all
be eraxy. In this view of the case,
we rosy scarcely expect a recession
of the tide thst has evidently set In
In tbis country. Indeed, the prophet
who ventures this sage advice ex
presses the belief that we are all
now more or less unbalanced; that
not one of us Is actually and com
pletely sane. This msy be utterly
true. Sometimes It really seems as
if It were. But aside from the
high old time we may enjoy before
these 300 years are up, why should
anyone repine over the, prospect of
universal Idiocy? We will not know
the difference, therefore there will
not be any difference, and we ought
to be as happy in that state as we
are now. Perhaps that will be the
time when msn's last state will be
better than his first.
But It would be Interesting seri
ously to know the causes for this
heavy increase of insanity. Cali
fornia recently discovered that CO
per cent of Us insane were dope
fiends. Naturally, high living to the
point of dissipation and strenuous
business exertion will come to many
minds as tho most convenient ex
planations. One thing Is certain, the
simple, sober life is not likely to pro
duce insanity.
The Unclean Spirit in Businei.
"It Is not for those who have cre
ated the mischief to cry out to be let
alone," said Governor Woodrow
Wilson, In speaking of business and
the government's effort to free it
from harmful Influences. Like the
man of the Gadarenes with the un
clean spirit, legitimate business
wants to be freed from these evils
that beset and embarrass It and that
voice that walls out, "What have I
to do with thee? I adjure
thee that thou torment me not," is
the voice, not of legitimate business,
but of the unclean spirit In business.
The 1 miracle of transformation
must be performed, business must be
freed, separated, from these Influ
ences that are embarrassing and ob
structing it In its effort at progress.
"If business, as now embarrassed,
were let alone," says Governor Wil
son, "it would be let alone to con
tinue upon a basis upon which busi
ness can never safely rest the basis
of universal distrust and suspicion."
There la nothing Inherently the
matter with business In this country.
It ia sound and clean, In itself, but it
has been tormented by tbis unclean
spirit that has got within it and is
making some Imagine that the gov
ernment, in its faithful effort to free
It from this evil, is tormenting it.
Legitimate business has not been at
tacked, but only the Insidious Influ
ences surrounding It, for the pur
pose of obtaining more satisfactory
results.' The greatest wrong the
government could do to legitimate
industry would be to expose it wan
tonly to predatory domination. Gov
"npr. .Wilson has well said that
"Legitimate processes of business
will never be Interfered with by
legitimate legislation."
The Bee has more than once urged
aa a measure of economy the em
ployment of ft salaried county de
fender to act as attorney for indigent
prisoners Instead of the appointment
of different lawyers by favor of the
presiding judge In each case. . There
is absolutely nothing to prevent the
Institution of this reform by the
judges if they see fit. In fact. It
would no doubt be a relief to the
judgsa who are now beset continu
ously for these special appointments.
In. England tbe license to sell
liquor runs ' to the ' location
rather than to the occupier of
the place, and the character of
the resort governs In the Issue of the
license as much as tbe reputation of
tha applicant. Thla makes it to tbe
Interest of the owner of the property
to see to It that his tenants live up
to the law because the license Is a
prime factor in the value of the
holding. The English system may
have a lesson lu It for us.
A story about a republican county
commissioner "lands a job for his
brother" to earn wages at his trade
draws a scare-head on the front page
of the great democratic dally. The
fact that a democratic county com
missioner bat been carrying his
brother on the payroll right along.
even while making no pretense of
doing work to earn it, is not worth
mentioning which, however, does
not make nepotism la public office
any better.
The haste of the outgoing demo
cratic county hoard to spend all the
money for court house building and
equipment haa at last humped Into
an injunction. When tbe books
come to be balanced, the taxpayers
of Douglas county will discover how
costly the recklessness and extrava
gance of the democratic combine hss
been during the court house con
struction period.
Governor Wilson frequently quotes
the mayor of Wymore, Neb., who
waa elected aa a socialist, to the ef
fect that the recent sporadic socialist
victories were 20 per cent socialist
and 80 per cent protest, and it is a
very sensible explanation.
Larva for tke Hwabease.
Minneapolis JuurnsL
Dr. Wiley hss barred abalnth from
thla country, but a man can atlll get
crasy on short notice If ha runa through
hia ftrat-of ihe-year bill, without care
ful preparation.
Booking Backward
IhbDay in Omaha
COMPILED rilOM Br,C TILCS
Df:c. ao.
Thirty Years Ago
The thermometer Irjnped seversl de
gree taut night.
The ladlea of tha Klijlileenth flireet
Methodist Episcopal church gave a supper
In the parlor of tho church.
According to an order Issued by General
Manager Kimball of the Union Pacific,
all passes and half fare tickets ex
piring December 11 are extended to Jan
uary 15.
Of tha newly elected county officers.
Hheitff Miller haa appointed Henry
Orebe as Ills deputy, County Treasurer
Rush haa named Henry Rhodes for his
deputy snd County Clerk Haumer will
retain It. T. Leavltt, tha present deputy.
If on.' T. Jt. Marquette of Lincoln Is
Mopping ol the Metropolitan.
J. B. Kitchen of the Pacific house In
Bt. Josoph la visiting In Omaha.
August Amdt's bsil has been reduced
to !.v and he expects to eecuro his
release soon.
An interesting dainaga suit is filed by
Alexander L. Pollock, head of the
weather bureau, against Fred H. Davts
for damages for ejectment. Kmythe A
fltull are the attorneya for Mr. Pollock.
Warrants have been aworn out to en
force the removal of two buildings, one
belonging to C. P. Blrkett and the other
to Tom Murray, said to be In dangerous
condition.
Robert Purvis, Fourteenth and Dodge,
wants a ggod steady boy to drive a horse
and do chorea.
Bell, the druggist, advertises that on
and after January 1 no wine, liquors or
spirits of any description will be aold at
hla drug store.
"Instruction given on typewriter with
use of machine. Bell & Ames, Sixteenth
and Farnam."
Twenty Years Ago
Manager Burgess of the Farnam Street
theater left for Chicago to meet Mrs.
Burgess, who ha4 been visiting In the
east for a month.
With Secretary Ober presiding, mem
bers of tha Young Men's Christian asso
ciation held meeting at which they or
ganised an American history study club.
As a testimonial to Judge Lea 8, Re
tells, some Sarpy county cttisens gave
hlra a banquet at the Paxton hotel, chief
of which was Kdgsr Howard, editor of the
Papllllon Times. Others from Papllllon
were J. D. Petteraon, B. O. Salisbury, If.
M. Waring, James Hansen, Harry Clark,
Howard Whitney, E. A. Langdon, George
Hemetedt. Most of them were officials
In Sarpy county.
John McCarthy, 65 years old, died at
1:15 B. m. at his borne, 808 Pouth Twenty
first street.
The women of the First Methodist
ohurch met and decided on plans for a
banquet to Bishop and Mrs. Newman on
New Tear's eve. Mrs. Newman had been
absent from the city for about a year
and It was thought this would be a fitting
reception for her.
Work of boring and drilling for oil was
resumed on the artesian well at Seymour
lake. John T. Cathors, In charge of the
work, expressed much confidence in tbe
success of tha venture, which had been
interrupted because of bad management.
Tha case of the Republican Newspaper
company against the Northwestern As
sociated Press was atlll on In the federal
court and Major J. C. Wiloox was being
cross-examined. He admitted a loss be
tween 110,000 and 166,000 on the paper.
Other witnesses were Will Millard, Cas
per E. Yost W. W. Umsted of tha West
ern Union and D. N. Richardson.
Ten Years Ago ;
Sir Henry Irving and Ellen Terry, with
their company arrived In their special
train of eleven cars for their engagement
in a series of Shakespearean plays at the
Boyd. Both stara were too tired from
their Jaunt from Minneapolis to grant in
terviews. Sir Henry's valet and Miss
Terry's maid, Miss Crab, attending to all
callers.
Persons passing Twelfth and Dodge
streets in the afternoon beheld a shower
of grips, trunks and bundles pouring out
of windows, of a rromlng bouse and
streams of colored folk following, the
luggage beating a rub-a-dub-dub on the
sidewalk for some minutes. "FWhere ts
the Xlrer asked one man. "Ain't no fah,
hlt'a smallpox," replied a husky negro, as
he seised his grip and scooted far from
the scene.
Mrs. Albert Cahn left for Chicago with
Miss Viola, who was to take up musto
with Mr. Martin Cahn.
Mr. and Mrs. C. II. Davidson of Kan
aas City arrived to spend a few daya
with friends and relatives before crossing
the continent.
Rev. Harry R. Davia resigned aa paator
of Immanuel Baptist church to accept a
all from Us native state of Indiana.
Mr. and Mrs, John A. Weaver and
daughters, Miaa Ethel Weaver, Mrs. Wil
liam B. Hopson and Mrs. Charles E.
Detweller left lor Los Angeles for the
remainder of the winter.
General John C. Bates returned from
St. Iiouie, where he spent Chrtatmaa with
the family of hla sister. Mrs. M. B. Eno.
Mrs. Annie Ford. SO years of age. died
at the family residence, 8 South Eigh
teenth street. Her husband lias been
with tho Union Paclflo for thirty-five
years and she hsd lived in Omaha for
forty years.
Mrs. Carrie Wyman. C4 years of age
died at her home SUM South Sixteenth
street.
People Talked About
Senator Norris Brown of Nbr.i, i.
booked to address the Indiana Republican
tentorial association at Indianapolis Jan
uary 25.
Mrs. Elisabeth Davidson Is said to be
tha only woman bank president in Maine.
She is at the head of tbe York County
National bank, which waa started about
sis years ago by her husband, tha late
Jamas T. Davidson, a lawyer, la York.
Washington Hadley. aged M. oerhana
the oldest bank president In active service
tn tse imiad etalea, is dead at hla borne
la Whlttler, near Los Angelea. He was
born In Bullford county, North Carolina,
In 1U7, and at the time of bis death was
president of a savings bank.
Emile Ereckson and Alma Sloan were
married in Vlroqua, Wis., this week, but
tbe aame "Sloan" stand. By taking the
neceaaary legal step Ereckaon had his
name changed to Sloan. Erecksons are
very numerous la this section. Ths
changing of ths last name la a preroga
tive which many Norwegian young snoa
aave exeroseu. - .
1
r
Around New York
Rlpl the Carrent of Life
e Seem a the Great Amerlcaa
Ietresolla Irons Day to Day.
There are tricks In all trades and in
some professions. Judge John W. Ooff.
Juatioe of the New Tork county supreme
court, the other day turned the Judicial
spotlight on the tricks of lawyers whose
tslents center on dsmaffe cases against
employers. A call of the court docket
of forty-one cases revealed only two law
yers who anawered "ready." Fourteen
cases had been settled out of court. In
sll other cases the attorneys asked for
more time. Thereupon tbe Judge re
marked: "The court announces that there were
forty cases on today's calendar, and not
one of the cases was ready to proceed to
trial In thla part, and not one case ready
to occupy the time of the parta depending
on this part for cases from tbe calendar.
The court expresses the opinion that the
way the attorneys answered in the vari
ous cases bears evidence of a general un
derstanding between the attorneys to put
their cases off, and hereafter, by consent,
have them restored to the calendar. Such
practice does not need the denunciation
of the court."
Later the Justice had something to say
about the number of cases brought
against employers by employes for dam
ages resulting from accidents, "Of re
cent years the number of accident causes,
which In taw are classified torts, haa In
creased enormously," he recalled. "This
increase, of course. Is in part due to tha
great Increase in population and tho cen
tering of so many Industries in snd
around New Tork. It is also due to that
legislation which is popularly known as
tha 'labor laws.' These laws have wid
ened tha field of causes for which em
ployes may seek damages from their em
ployers for injuries received.
"It Is a matter of common knowledge
In the profession that hundreds of acci
dent cases sre brought into the courts
without much merit attaching to them.
So many of these cases are 'settled,' when
they reach the point of trial, that the
conclusion is reasonable that all that Is
needed to dispose of them Is pressure for
trial. This Is staved off as long aa possi
ble by the attorneys, for the purpose of
further negotiation as to terms of set
tlement." Protectlag a "Scoop)."
One of the moet enterprising real estate
reporters In town Is R. O. Chltttck, ssys
the New York correspondent of the Cin
cinnati Times-Star. He conducts a col
umn on one of the evening papers. The
other day he sniffed a large real eetate
deal. He worked on it until he waa cer
tain of his facts. It Involved the trans
fer of some millions of dollars and an
important development on a down town
corner. Then ha went to the man who
had secretly put tho deal through. "This
Is my story," said Mr. Chlttlcfc, forcibly.
"I've got all the facts, I've kept from
printing them until publicity could not
Interfere with you, and now I want a
beat on It. I don't want any other paper
to print this story. You must protect
me." .
"My boy." said tho magnate, grate
fully, "you have been mighty deoent
about this. I shall protect you."
So Mr. Chlttick printed his story. He
smeared It all over the first page of hia
paper, thereby achieving a complete
scoop on hla contemporaries. The next
morning he rose early to see the manner
In which the morning papers had followed
his beat. Not one of them carried a line
of it. The afternoon papers came out.
They, too. Ignored It. Daya went on and,
though Mr. Chlttick persistently ham
mered away st his story. It was all his.
No one else had a word to say about It.
So he called on the magnate. "Say,"
said Mr. Chlttick, "I got a beat on that
13,000,000 deal of yours, but not a paper
haa printed a word about It since. What's
the matter, anyhow T'
"MatterT" said tha real estate man,
with a proud smile. "Matter? Nothing's
the matter. I told you I'd protect you,
and I did protect you. When tha re
porters from the other papers came to
me and asked me about the story I told
'em It was a dern lie."
l
A Geatleman of the Road.
A young woman who believes that
horseback riding la fun only when you
ride in the real country haa found a
lonely stretch of road not many m.s
from New York. Every morning she gal
lops ovec the two or three miles where
there isn't a house and she rarely meets
anyone.
The other morning she wss surprised
to find a gypsy csmp shout a stream at
the loneliest part of the road. Their
wagons were on one side of tho rickety
wooden bridge that she must cross and
the gypsies themselves wert gathered
around a fire on the other side. As shs
approached one of ths men got up has
tily and came into tha road. Ho looked
up and down and then stood waiting
for her. Sho meditated turning around
and going back, but sho wasn't many
yards away and she didn't like the Idea
of turning her back on him.
"Good morning!" she said, with the
best smile sho could produce.
"Good morning," he answered, and
then he stepped up to her horse and
took hold of tho bridle.
"Here's where I lose my horse," shs
thought, "and I'll be luoky If I get away
myself." And then she heard tha man
saying:
"Two or three horses have been acared
going over this bridge and I thought I'd
better lead yours across."
He did it, and then he stood bsck and
bowed as she rode on.
Aa Caesar la Feathers.
An English sparrow flew Into the flying
cage in the Central park menagerie and
began helping Itself to the cracked corn
thrown upon the ground by the keeper.
A Braslllan stork quietly approached and
shot out its six-inch red beak and caught
the sparrow.
Going to the fountain, ths big bird
dipped the little one In the water and
then awallowed it and looked about for
more.
"Oh, you cannibal! Tou ought to get a
beating!" exclaimed a woman vialtor.
"The aparrow ought to know better than
to go a there, explained the keeper.
"The stork has been eating half a dosen
of these birds a week since he cams
here, Tho English sparrow has a quick
sye and is quick on the Wing and Is
seldom caught by prowling cats, but
doesn't suspect anything with feathers
on. Tho big bird is getting fat on a
sparrow diet."
VfaSar of Practical Jekea.
A storekeeper In Brooklyn makes a
good living by catering to tbe wants of
practical Jokers. Ho carries a line of
cigars that explode after you light
them, matches thst pep. flswjrs which
spray strewn of water, little ring
boxes that explode a cartridge when they
are opened and such things.
Besides his regular customers who sre
Jokers he sells to people who sre going
to give surprise parties snd wsnt to In
troduce n element of novelty for their
guests. Halloween and New Year's
are his busiest sessons, he ssys,
and eatli year he tries to have a new set
of contrivances so that his customers
nejd not play the same trick twlc.
HOW EDITORS SEE THINGS.
Chicago Tribune: Incidentally you will
note that the emlntnt Jack Johnson,
champion of the solar system, brought his
celebrated nerve back with him.
Milwaukee Sentinel: William Jennings
Brysn would have us believe that Champ
Clark Is a minor leaguer. It behooves
Wilson to maintain a discreet silence. He
has never won a pennant.
Chicago Record-Herald: In the opinion
of Dr. Mary Walker the collar button
drives men insane by pressing on their
windpipes. Still, It Is probable that the
trombone Is a more potent producer of
insanity than the collar button.
Pittsburgh Dispatch: "When I read I
don't like to think" Is a remark credited
to Thomas A. Kdison. A good many
others feel the same way, which is a pos
sible explanation for the abundant out
put of light literature that calls for no
thought in the process of its perusal.
New York World: A New Jersey clerk
who disappeared fourteen years ago has
returned with a suit case full of Klondike
gold nuggets, and a Fairbanks miner who
struck It rich haa come back to Denver
with a fortune of lt.000.000. Incidentally
there 1s the report of a mad rush to new
Yukon gold fields. Yet the death of a
western newsboy who "made a million"
Indicates that the old opportunities at
home sre not. exhausted
Ifsomlaloiia Fall-Dovrn.
Springfield Republican.
There never was a flatter flunk than
the attempted revolution in Mexico which
Oeneral Bernardo Reyes tried to engineer.
It never had any brains beyond his own
Inordinate ambition. The disappointed old
man has had to give himself up. Presi
dent Madcro can afford to deal leniently
with this piece of folly.
Belrlaa; Ills Repotatlea.
Springfield Republican.
A year ago Yuan Shi Kal might have
positively refused to accept a republic for
China without having his judgment
doubted by any human being. A few
months slip by and today when many
people, even In the Occident, read about
Yuan Shi Kal's determination, they will
wonder If he Is a wise snd far-seeing
ststesman. It has been a remarkable
year In China.
Eradicates
Wrinkles
a cue, V.
f cxtAMrn a Mawnvwfl J
THE FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH
THE ONLY CREAM IN THE WORLD WITH A
COLD MEDAL
old at 60o, 76c, $1.00 " ALL DEALERS
Causes of
- w jp vwvsaeswsa w a
A writer in a recent publication, divided type
writer noise, i. e, that referring to the typewriter
itself, like old Gaul, into three parts.'
First, that produced by the spacing mechanism.
Second, that produced by the impact of tho type
against the platen.
Third, that produced by the shifting of the car
riage to make capitals.
, An analysis of these divisions, with reference to
the "Smith Premier," discloses:
As to the first ( the noise produced by the -pacing
mechanism) the Smith Premier is as quiet, if not
more quiet, than any.
As to the second (the noise produced by the Im
pact of the type against the platen) -it is less on
the .Smith Premier than on any other, because the
Smith Premier prints with a high speed, light
weight, single type bar, against a platen, firmly
supported in a rigid carriage.
As to the third-(that produced by the shifting
of the carnage, or basket, to make capitals) -there
is no such noise on the Smith Premier, be
cause it has no shift.
OS, until you become Z .0UJL "WU
'
The Smith Premier Typewriter Co,
Branches in
SIOUX CITY,
LINCOLN,
DES MOINES.
h-...ta.st.
Nebraska Military Academy
LIXCOLX. v
Does your boy ll.s sohool? If not, something serious Is the matter
Don i assume that It it the boy's fault and let him drop out er school" if
you do the day will mt when you both wiU'regret It. Put him Into a achool
where his case will rweive upecial attention. The Nebraaka Military Acadenv
Is tbia kind of a achooL if the lad tailed In some aublerti Tth tMLT ..-.17
l. can eeelly make thein up; thai a the
liikti urtion.
Tho new term opens January X. If
B. D. HAYWARD,
City Office, 1307 N Street.
CLIPPED C0MCS.
"Old chsp, you have my sympathy. The
papers say your hou wu entered hv
burxinrs isst nirht and robbed of :oo
worth of Jewelry."
' Well er It wasn't quite so bad as
that. The assessed valuation of it, as
nearly as I run remember, wns only M6."
Chicago Tribune.
"That Singer has a strident voice, yet
r hen she tried It on the dug nh.e made a
su'-ceKS." .
1 hat s Just how I described It."
"How V
"A howling success." Baltimore Amer
ican. Pennman Why. did he ever do any
newspaper work?
Wridht Did he? Why. say, he claims
to be the follow who wrote all the com
munications signed Constant Reader.
Yorikers Statesman.
"Think of the constitution," ssld tho
eminent Jurist.
"I do," replied Mr. Dustln Ptsx, "and
I approve of it. It Is a great benefit. If
we had no constitution it would have been
Impossible to dispose of some of the
thlnss to which I ohjected by declaring
them unconstitutional." Washington
Star.
Smith had Just. made the discovery that
he had moved next door to a friend.
"Hello, old man," said the friend, "who
are you working for now?"
"Sme people." was the reply, "a wife
and five children." Town and Country.
"Old Moneybags was the quintessence
of meaness."
"How so?'1
"Ho lived for years after he married
his pretty young wife, and to cap the
climax, died Just as she had supplied her
self with a comp.ete Imported wardrobe
of the newest Parisian styles." Balti
more American.
WHEN THINGS ABE ASLEEP.
W. D. Nesblt In Harper's.
When I wake up In bed at night
The house looks very queer:
The hall lamp makes a sleeply light
An' ever'thlng seems near.
The chair an' things are all asleep
In such a weary way.
As if they'd like to rail a-heap
But simply have to stay. -'
The chairs look tired as tired can be,
Their backs sll seem to ache;
The one that plays tha game with me
1-ooks as if it would break.
The bureau sleeps as calm an still
I almost hear It snore;
The rug spreads out an tries to fill
The bare place on the floor.
The window curtains sag 'way down .
An' hardly even away
They're tired from showln' all the town
How straight they are all day.
The pictures will not look at me -
For all their eyes are closed, i
Except my papa's one an' he
Looks like he only dosed.
My clo'es are sprswled out on a chair
As quiet as can be
They're tired from runnln' ever'where
All through the day with me.
An' ever'thlng'a asleep, except
The clock out In tho hall.
It ticks away as If it kept -
Awake to call us all.
Beautifies
The Skill
TvnpwHfr NnfA
"uucu. w aon t Harass."
19th and Douglas Sts.
OMAHA, NEB.
,f ttesttt
It
advantage of our ytm or indiviiuai'
we can help you, phone or write us.
Superintendent,
jj KebrMkfc