TIIK MKK: OMAHA, KHIUAY, PKCKMKKli i'i'. 1 1 1 .
he ee'g jrne Jaa z, i rp a
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ge
SILK HAT HARRY TRIES A MATRIMONIAL BUREAU
Vp i Ight, 1511, X.itlnnal News A n.
By Tad
f I HAviO
NOvn yv WN0R5rAr OUST"
N ANT A-J-flFE WMO rlM AT
15 A $ocn LOOKER. I "ow
ASOOO .liiTEHETU 1, HT
A FAJT COOK. AND
0N& THAT CAM I A
NA.KE A tIM I h )
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ATTHE.ffOCETV AUJliS-v
I i i" v&
"cm HA-MAr-THlS MUJTBEHE?.
GEE WHAT A JwJ- AtAMC
MIVACI0U5 V(OLT - A
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vseU.-m forms acta rail
no pAORS. OP THAT WNSiOME
.STUFF IN MIN&- VMiU iVt-
HOOic
ffl'fl'llWl
OH VOU LITTLE BEAT- -St
GODS AN ni Hi CATS'
VT TIME AND IPACG
JOMri MAKE TNO 7
IrtJ
JQ3
v.oleX?
S6J-TW4 ISAAy UTTLi BROOCH
I OtvOHCED Ay HUSBamO
HC TOOK rrv-MADCN WAMt
A&AiH-ARE VO THE"
" 1 i 1
The Girl Who Flirts With Married Men
By DOROTHY DIX,
w
Fool Jo more tlian criminals In the
world, and thpro Is one type of female
Imbecile who uteres up rather more than
her Hhare of trouble fur other people.
Thin In the girl who boasts that she is
attractive to mar
ried men, and who
Marts forth on a
career of homo
wrecking simply to
gratify her own
vanity.
She thinks it a
romantic adventure
to carry on clandes
tine love affairs
with married men,
and to meet them
down town for
lunch or little din
ners that they tnke
in queer places
where they think
they won"t be
recognised, and her
Fense of humor is
tickled to death
when she sees some .
fat, grixzled-halred, middle-aged wife
turn pea green with Jealousy of her.
1 never see the girl who flirts with
married men without wanting to say to
her: '
' "Oh,' ho.' you "poor, contemptible, mis
erable, little tin horn sport, If you are
Kolng to play the game, why don't you
come out and play It fairly and squarely?
"If you think you have got such a
fatal fascination for me'n, why don't you
hypnotize some young and eligible man
into marrying you? If I were a hunter
of men I shouldn't waste my ammunition
on a lame duck. I'd be sportsman
enough to shoot something on the wing,
or on the run, that had a chance of get
ting away from me.
"You can flirt with a married man.
Tou ae attractive to married men.
Pooh! Any glii can do thot. Why, it's
been so long since anybody told the
average married man that he had poetic
eyes, and that the way he talked made
, Claud llelnotte sound like he was using
the deaf and dumb language, that any
. woman who will take the trouble to Jolly
him can .have him eating taffy out of
her hand. It's so easy that a girl baby
can do It. and no real first class flirt
' would conduct such a pilfering game.
"And It's no trick at all to rouse the
?reen-eyed monster in the bream of a
woman who has lost her complexion and
W hair and her figure tolling and econ
omising for a man and trying to make
his home comfortable and happy. Nor Is
it difficult to get a married; man to spend
the money on violets for you that should
have gone to buy the baby a new pair of
shoes.
"You think It funny to see those middle
aged wives writhing In Jealousy? Ah, my
dear, you were born too late. If you en
Joy that kind of spectacle you (should
have lived In the days of the Inquisition
and held the Job of chief torturer.
"If you had any heart I should aKk
you to reflect that there Is no crime
equal to the crime of breaking up o
home. I should ask you to look with
pity on the little children that you may
be rendering fatherless, and whom, at
any rate, you wrong beyond all repara
tion by bringing dissension between their
parents.
"But you have neither heart nor con
science, or els you would not flirt with
married men; and so I will merely point
out to you what a lack of ordinary In
telligence you show In taking your smllea
to such a poor market.
"To begin with, you make an Imbecile
bargain. Suptose you are a society girl
and you have the charming practice of
flirting with your hostess' husband. How
many times will you be invited after the
first offense to that house? Never again.
More: Word will be quietly passed around
among the matrons and. without knowing
why you will find every door barred to
you,
"Buppose you are a working girl who
makes eyes at her employer, and goes
out to lunch with "ilm. It won t be long
before hts wife will be tipped off to the
situation and you will lose your place.
"Also, you will lcse your character.
Possibly, as you so carefully explain,
your flirtation with Mr.' Benedict Is
merely platonic, but this Is a censorious
world in which a girl has got not only
to be innocent, but to act Innocently, It
she avoids suspicion.
Wne at Hand.
"Blamed If 1 don't feel like huntin' a
regiar Job." muttered Wareham Long,
shivering In his well ventilated suit of
summer clothing.
"Ther hain't no need o" huntin' fur
that," said Tuffold Knutt. "You kin be my
social secketary. Go an git somebody on
th' av'noo f give you a duuple o' over
coats, an' I'll let you have one of 'am
fur carryln' out my order." Chicago
Tribune.
rr
Up the Gum Tree
J
OUCH! DOC, YOU HIT THE NERVE-By Tad
1 Vwfc '''as'
By 1'EBCV SHAW.
The Navy department haa forbidden the aallora to chew gum. Newa
Item. ' .
We're "onto" jolly Bailor men, wherever they may roam,
They step on terra firma just the same aa on the foam,
And Uncle Sam he guides them by a simple rule of thumb,
But draws the line lnatanter when it comes to chewing juiu.
Let the clerk behind the counter
Work his Jaws with graceful ease,
Let Elaine, the aweet typewriter,
Chew In rhyme with her keys;
Let the weary-tongued conductor
Mumble words no man e'er knew;
The jealous tar may look and Icok,
But alas! he may not chew.
aya the expert navigator, "The lad before the tuaai
Has got to sing his 'Aye, aye, air and alng It clear and fast;
But if he's called to quarter! and doesn't haste to come
You can put It down as gospel he's looking for his gum."
Let the mother and the slater
And the baby and hia pa
Revel In the choicest flavors
In househpld, street or car;
Wfcen the saa-eyed sailor sees them
How morose he'll be, bow blue,
As they cry In loving chorus,
"Ain't It awful you can't che-v?"
fiajs the Admiral: Imagine, if shots were flying fast
And a score of tars went climbing a-top the fighting oiaat;
Just picture my annoyano when they called through tip and hum.
We'll be on deck directly, but we've got to find our gum!"
So when you choose to sail the main
Where the gray-akln&ed warships
go
Chew the cud of tweet reflection
In a lawless statu quo;
For 'tis written in the rule book,
Where It counts an awful lot.
That chewing of the toothtotne gum
Is a steel-bound sailor's "not."
fW r(2l
Ith
E BULLET5 M RE FALUNfl
.
THICK AND PAST ALL ABOUND
ITHE BRAVE your CORPORAL.
HE WAS rV IN 5 TO IN I TA TB
f "I " tetf ISOLD 7V
poy WLLANB BH. OT? TMS
noTKy op rue n,
5HlP" t)fyTH': StJcTWO THF
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TO M5 Z.PTAisi 4nD AseebrHZ CATCMEfc WaLtefi
3Toon tiv;? Ba-- a weak vofce chirpsd.
W0OL6 TL00K 0JAA"
prfCg? M0 yfrQj OUCH PCK WOOHO'TXe NERvjg.
OH I'M Vi yed ?oa Lire:
AMt JrENO(iitN7HEfi cl
ACMtfCHTtsqCAno
CAHDvJ J TO RE" NET
&00. SEE I GT AW 6
A NEH: CA-Jv.
10 JU5T AS aOON Be vMHAT I AM A3 LCT3
OF OTUTEH THIN9
ITWAS A3UPHPM1- MAMSMT
rXE OTRUGGCE BfTWECN
THE SOUTMVItLE 3L,U(rRd
AND THE WILLTON WALLOPERS
HAD RE A CrAEO THE NINTH
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MSN OMTHE BAV5.TW0
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ST AH, & ATT eg WA5 UP.
FINE TO SEE TriS
jmeer n as sau -
AU- I HANC TO VO ti TO
VNairOM THE JOVA COUHTEK
JaU. CANtN yx Amp
STAMP5 Cf ACCOUNT
op THE SALEi AN9 CALL'S
OK TME7H0N& UJrl
NCr-T DOOR ortCE" N
4
LOUDLV H A R R A N&UI N S
rwKCRCMD Before him
fT-IE. POLITICAL 5PEELER
I
HAD ALMOST CO NVNCCD HIS
I
HCAREt-S THAT THE. MONaPOUSl
WERE GW?BlrCr aVCRTHiNw In
3 1 GUT WNfcTN A PlflFULMALF
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UP A NO RAISNG 14 1 5 f4 ANP
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SACKED;
SAW JOHN, HAJKNOW 0
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7
70 OOTlU-
ITJMOPPOV
4
Sherlockd the Monk
HV (Jl'H MAOhJIt
Copyright, 1111, Nitlaul -NW
AafiocUtlcin.
The Adventure at the Amphibian Club
ECELLtHT SOUP THE ( I CAU.i.p AT TOUW. V
AMPHlrXlAU fiiJr 'sEltMEil BAKtsiST. ARKWMMUjSHERIOCTO,!
1 T iJ? V B StItNieS 1 r. AND THET SENT ME Ov'eJ HERE ! f
mc.J LAT ITS EEK-Lf BANQUET, WAT5o'J STEP OUTSIDE A ,C '
ycxT"" MOMENT A mSTERT
"as tou know ivt tmf L I Taxi, wtso,) I AH I the ) rrtAWGc , wato, that
DlRECTO OF IHt AQUARiuJD i( ALLIGATOR. (. 11
QU PRICELESS CN.yB-'O IN. THE SAME &Sit ""J
TURTLES AREWSArIKt'rVrVv . J 1 SATURtWY ! - BUT
ANOTHER MlAlN(t f H TUR J
iiipi.u.nBgit I. . ""PfiAT.NtRvD, that is I l twift tmoss V
tjutixewr iour too vu. f kom me MuAaiuM '
don't tou w v ennEWES,! rT-?j Jur fo se i
TO PROVIDE TMt TURTUifi-. 'VCV AJ -'
at-blt ho) InSr
" WANT TO KISS YOU"
(Illustrated by Nell Brinkley )
By MAH1K '. JOMiA
(Dedlistitd to IIiihlett dolt )
His gentle tones fall on my ear,
His babyish voice ia aweet to hear,
And this la what he says the dear!
"I want to kiss you."
Hia lltlte arms reach up to me,
Ills wlnsomo face is aweet to see.
My heart echoes with inward glee,
"I want to kiss YOU."
I kneel as at an angel shrine,
Hia dimpled arms my neck entwine,
IUb sunny head rests close to mine:
"I want to kiss you.'"
I hold him close, the baby boy
'Tie happiness without alloy
And I repat with Inward joy,
"I want to kiss YOU."
Hia litlte Hps press close my own,
Like flowers laid upon love'a throne,
And Heaven's Joy is earthward blown
As he kisses me.
The baby's love-tribute the kiss.
Whene'er he speaks such words
bliss,
I'm sure the angels echo this:
"I want to kiss you."
of
C
Scientific Units of Measurement
j
By KIMJAH I At
ureal advance was made In all of the
physical sciences when accurate units
with which to weigh and meaxura were
perfected and put Into universal use.
Twelve Inches make one foot; sixteen and
one-half feet one rod. perch or pole; a:"0
rods or 5,2s) feet one mile. Jlero we have
a jumhln of numbers 12, MO, 6.2N0.
THese are no loiiRer used In Mric.tly scien
tific work, livery number now employed
Is ten or a tenth the admirable metrlo
system. "Do everything; In your head."
Instead of using; pencil and paper simply
move the decimal point, that Is all.
The great 1hsIc unit of lriiEth now
adopted by science everywhere Is ths
meter. This Is the distance from the
poles of the earth to the equator divided
Into lO.OOO.ODO parts. Then 0.1 equals one
decimeter; 0.01 equals one centimeter; 0.001
equals one millimeter; while 1,000 meters
Is one kilometer. The centimeter ia of
tener used than the others and Is writ
ten cm.
Tho meter is very nearly 2'J.Z! Inches.
The minute fraction Is allowed for In the
standard meter, n bar mode of two
metals in alloy platinum and Iridium now
In the liurrau of WetKlits und Measures
near I'arls. Kact roplea of this are
made atul sent to oil purls of tho world
when ordered.
President Caruot of France handed one
of these standard burs to u messenger
:in ordered him to take It to Washing
ton and hund It to president Harrison.
TI la precious bar Is now In a vault In
the Tnjted Rates buieau of standards.
The heal yiud Is 3, COO divided by 3,fi;r7
of a meter, one centimeter equals 0.3M7
of mi Inch, a little lees than four-tenths,
and thowe having; rulers would do well
to kciutch a cm. mark. A decimeter,
10 cm., ia handy to carry and may be
had at stationery stores.
The scientific weight unit Is one
main, V'hich is the weight ot one cubic
cm. of pure that Ix. distilled water
weighed under scientific conditions. It Is
equal to 16. -2 drug store grains. A kilo,
loam in 1,00 crams and equals !'A
pounds av.
The second, unfortunately, Is still the
unit of measurement of time. Kind the
absolute average of the lengths of till
solar days In the year and the quotient
will be the second. How much better If
the day could be divided Into tiO.OuO or
100,000 equul parts. We then could have
centi und niilli-scconds as well as centl
and mllll-grami, or meters.
It required 122 years for the meter to be
adopted by law in the I'nited states, and
It may be another century before the sec-
IKV LA UK IN.
onds will be made decimal parts ot the
standard mean solar day.
The new standard unit of force Is the
dyne. And great care haa been devoted
to Its precise determination In costly lab
oratories, by very ablo mathematician
and skilled mechanics. This unit Is of
great Importance, end Its use is daily
and hourly made In all de'isrt0iatl of
physics, electricity und mechanics.
A ib no is a force which, uctlng' on a
mass of one srram durlnK one second of
time, Is able to Impart to It a motion of
1 cm. per second. Then all motions, spe
cify speeds, velocities of ull masses, lariia
or small, can at once he expressed deci
mally by uxe f the dyne and cm. per
second. Hut ko up to a hlKh window and
let a gram weicht fall und at the end of
the second It will ho moving with a fixed
specific speed of 9M cm. per second. This
1.4 the avciHge ot ull termliiBl velocities
of fallliiK bodies let fall In ull parts of
the world at Kca level, for the eurlh U
a spheroid, not an exact sphere, and thin
causes vurlatlong In the Intensity of the
force of attraction exerted by the earth's
entire muss.
Then the mean Intensity of the gravi
tation of the earth Is ''M times greater
than the force of one dyne. For this It
appears that the force acting; on a mass
of one cram when it Is fulling during
one second is I'M times the force ot one
dyne. Curry u lock up hill, saw wood
and you do work, which is energy ex
pended BKulnst resistance, UKulnM force.
The work done In overcoming the re
sIMunce iiKulnst you of one dyuo is called
one erg the fundamental unit ot work lit
all mrchuuicb.
1'eople are in customed to work, but
they aie not ull aware that they really
are (.ti nynhny against dj lies by means
of ergs. For erg In derived from the
Greek Wurd ergon work. One of the
most wonderful achievements of modern,
Kcleneo was to transform all these units
Into accurate measurement of electricity
and magnetism. On the face of thta
proposition, it would he thought Impossi
ble that theje forces could bo measured.
Explained In n future note.
A Sapient Splatter.
An old Greek philosopher once re
marked : "Whether you marry or not you
will regret It." Th.i saying was recalled
to our inlnrfj by th etory of a lonely
spinster, who, when axked what she
would do If she had her life to live over
again, replied: "I would get married be
fore 1 had sense enough to decide to be
an old iuaid."iiosloti Trajuilut