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SILK HAT HARRY'S DIVORCE SUIT
I XAiNT TO THAnh BOTM VOL) P0V.S
I SAnN THE 0Ci BOiS TOOAV AIP
METHW FOR- 10,000 'RON MEN
tfAME a (0MirvnCN- DO SOU
A.. ." .- 1
Too Good to Last
By DOROTHY' DIX.
A young man in Chlcaso, where divorce
1b said to be easy, has sought to forestall
domestic trouble by fllln with the county
recorder a guarantee to be a moiiel hus
band. This ante-nuptiHl contract, duly
signed and witnessed by a notary,
promises.
"My wife may do as she pleases. Sho
is free to go and come when she likes,
to go with whom she chooses, and I will
rot be Jealous. I will not ko etinnlnu
Tor a fellow because he admires her
beauty, and because she smiles when he
peaks to her. '
"I will not Interfere with any of her
plans.
"I will be kind and good to her. T will
give 'her all of my earnings, and it will
be her privilege to do with my Income as
he likes, so long as sho feeds me well.
vv hen we have a surplus and it goes
t the bank, J agree not to hold the key.
"THERE IS NO FUN IN MANAGING
1 agree to come home at the proper hour
each night, or give her a valid excuse.
"And I further agree that I will let
er get a divorce if I fall to behave as a
ind, loving, gentle, conuiderata husband
1 to her,"
When the guarantee had been placed
on record tho couple sought a minister
and were married.
This ease is a curious and interesting
phase of the dumestlc question, for it
Indicates that one man, at least, has
undertaken to solve the problem of mak
ing matrimony a grand, sweet song by
putting the soft pedul on himself, so to
peak.
Of course. It is no new thing for a
man to promise anything and everything
.to the lady he is wooing. It is a time
when the lover, lets go all hold upon
veracity and qualifies for' membership
In the Ananias club.
There Isn't a married woman who
doesn't recall how her husband before
she was married swore to her that sho
was the only woman In the world and
that his love would never grow coldor
or loss Impassioned than at that minute,
and that he spent whole evenings assur
ing her that her slightest wish should
be his law, that he could sit up and holu
lier hand forever, and that he asked
nothing of fate but tho priviliege of toll
ing to surround her with every luxury.
All of which hat n't prevented him from
arriving at the place where hta kisses
are perfunctory pecks on the cheek, when
he growls over the cooking, and when
ihe asks for tho price of a new hat he
snapa out, "Oreat Biott, Mary, do you
think I've got nothing belter tj do thin
to clave from morning to night to pay
milliner's bills?"
Perhaps It was observing that pie
crust ha nuthing. in puir.t of t.rlttle
cess, on the piomlses a man makes a
woman before marriage that ti diutd l'ie
astute Chicago ludy to make hur pree-
i I "Notary I xC-SrXv
Al "IIS Ol" AUAN TEEiJ TO iJU A
FOU LETTtN(j-j
ft m
I'LL iC fve
' COULP
&T
tug h-ale
pectlve bridegroom put his vows into
the shape of a legal document, but, a
a matter of fact, this affidavit will b
no more effective or blndlnj; than have
been nil the other lovers' oaths.
In tho first place, it promises too
much. It Is not in the power of weait
humnnity to be the pin feathered do
mestic angel this man agrees to be. and
if he could, no woman on ;arth would
be lonar suffering enough to be able 10
endura it.
A brute of a husband Is bad enough,
goodness knows, but heaven preserve
a woman from the awful fate of being
married to a masculine donrmat, that
tfoesn't even resent being trodden upon
and kicked about. A mean husband at
leust furnishes a woman with some in
terest, but of the too good husband, she
dies of surfeit or boredom.
The Chicago man must know little,
A MAN WHO NEVER KICKS."
Indeed, ' of women if he believes he is
going to retain his wife's love and In
sure himself a tranquil married life by
tho program he had mapped out.
To begin with, he asserts that his
wife may do as sho pleases, that she
can come and go as she likes, and
with whom she chooses, and that he will
not be Jealous.
That, no doubt, sounded noble, and
strong, and self-abnegating to him as
he promised it, and he pictured, his wife
throwing fits., of Joy over it. But will she?
Nay, nay, Edward; she won't. About the
second time she taken & squint at tbat
proviso in the antenuptial contract It
won't look like' a gorgeous compliment
It will appear a deadly insult to her.
She will begin to think that her hus
band must esteem Ijer a very poor thing
if he doesn't think her worth taking care
of. Also that he wouldn't be willing for
her to go with other men unless he be
lieved her so unattractive that no other
man would take a second look at her.
Sort of grandmother business, you know.
Then the Jealousy paragraph will begin
to soak in on her, and she will perceive
that the only reason that a man can
promise nevtsr to be Jealous of his wife
Is because his love Is of such a milk and
watery brand that st hasn't enough sub
stance In It to even curdle. Oh, no son,
you can't make a hit with your wife by
giving her the right to flirt around with
other men.
Ner does a man make a winning with
l is wife by letting her do exactly as
MJDlil, HCiilAND.''
she pleases. There's no fun In managing
a man who never kicks, nor rears, nor
I'l.lts, nur buck Juim. but who comes
up like a broken-spirited o!d plow horse,
an! Clicks bis head unclrr the yoke.
Neither docs a man clinch domestic
hnpplntss by turning over every cent he
earns to his wife and letting her become
the family tanner. The hand that holds
tbe purse rules tbe rooaL and there Isn't
i
Git I'LL ? C-C-
J- misa
and Orer ne
i
Phase Stop, Mr. Cop
rws TEAC-HtTR Hip ixe BOOB ON A
SifB merTalviN him. HH 4. AST
leajon in rut chaowfer. &rat
tETlFKWW 00 SOU HOT" US AiiCCO
AV M HOVPEO THE BOOB AamTKP
AT TH& VNHCEL A, VAprVNEHT A,M(
THEN vA'O NiEETX.-y THE(1E&
ome rniN(j to like to kcn
BEroA-e. vuj DCPAtPr and its
TXlS.
IT A E3TA-o P-A, HT I S DlRTV
VOULO VOU CALL IT A
VWE TDM, UT DEMH
HA-1 SOT Ak ;rctJ NOV .
THA.T HMDOOCjH IN
"BMcEV-V - PONT HAVE TO
GT UPTtLL O.A.KA.HA. UA
I
Where's an old woman to go when
tbe years
Leave her alone with ber sighs and
her tears,
Gray-haired and pcnnlleea, fettle and
slow
Where'a an old woman to go?
a woman living that ran help fueling a
sort of contempt for the man that Khe
Is shrewd rnough to work Into abdicating
his (Vrune and taking a second place In
the family elicits.
The Riddle
lj II. E. II.
"-,.-,-'!" wyi; in-iiitiiiM sail ii nii'u.tia. i i i n. ijiihhmiihiiiis in, mil , mwi'i.u iiisisma 1
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The JudgelVat Nominated Alf Right, AlFRight
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pont i-ETTwE cat go Anamw
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AM) PKLlNIEHTHS J-UNCH
gOl-'TS. TlUL. 2. Bm THSH
15LSEPTIU- I. AMDOlUtlU
hot 8 ACAD Till 6-4m.
TMEH I nf.H IN TWE CASH
AN0 CHARGeT PWTT THR Pt-
Je
What's an old woman to do when her
kin
Fall to remember that hands, worn
and thin,
Cured for thun, slaved for them, all
the yeara through
What'a an old woman to do?
No, No man can oeure his domestic
happiness, or the love of his wife, by
, .
iuakl,g . vassal of hlmsolf to ber and
fii milling Lr to heupeck him. Utuemh
(vnLll- VNKAT
IT JUOcrE.
) (nominate.
V. NOW KR-
Give, l 4
AN earpvll.
f 0C MEVNi
v Shoot
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By Tad
'mm
DADDVi BEST &IRL-
TAB.
3 x
BM fJiL-CV HAOORpEpEP
KOUiE. PainTEX A BEAVJTtFL'U
GfJEETA THE fAiNTGli HAD Been
7I5 VQ PM5 AH0
B& STAlj-in (r OH TW&'jrjB
TOOK A WALK OVfTH TO t-O0
TMtTMiM oNiTH-' Tl-E.veRV
Ft f-T TK( ti Or Kfi. Jaw was
A fUMCH Of- UEXiV.KJM(j ON
THE KOfifH SlPE. VNAMM6
up CLOJr2- H6 REAO.TiAD.
'NVITEO TO TAicS A TftlP TO
fHE NOftTX P0L6 AnO PFl5D
wov-d Txe h i Qa Lao ?
TWEAA HI U-S BOVS .
SEP
N0TMH
Gee
A HfNPPv
TOD071LL
GOV
A
Whut's an old woman's reward for
a life
Given to others as MOTHER and
WIFE,
Leaving her faltering, furrowed and
scored
What's an old woman's reward?
the vei.eer of chllljitithm woman is still
u" l',!li,ve at heurt us her euve mother
was, ui.il she still worship in lite stretiKtll
, m am, (vr, u,t man w0
is strung euuth to master her.
By Tad
mm
Daysoy Mayme
Ily I ItANt'KS
When a woman bristles with her
wrongs, she shows it by addressing the
one mnn who makes up her audlenco as
If he were two men, or a host. This
Is so unfailingly true that 14'samlcr John
Appleton knows the nature of what Is
coming the moment tayey Mayme says:
"Vou men."
Hefore she has said another word,
anticipation, born of painful expe
rience, has made him look like a to
mato vine the morning after the first
frost.
"Vou men,'' she said, and I,yaiuler
John began to feel the cold creeping
Into his veins, "talk of the emanela
tlon of women as if it will be secured
the moment we have gained the glorious
privilege of voting for a dog-catcher. J
tell you, It will not he, We are not
slaves to mnnl We are slaves to his
demand that we become beautiful In his
eyes."
A feeble protest from Lysander John,
who felt that as the vole representative
of his sex he should be defiant.
"You have led us to believe that a
woman should be beautiful or apologise
for the room she taken up on the earth,
and you have worshipped so steadfastly
at the shrine of a fair skin or a pretty
dimple, that we are wasting our live
trying to make of ourselves something
which we are not.
"We deny ourselves every pleasure
that leaves a freckle In Its wake; we
tlx our ideals on a certain weight, and
starve or sot food that tastes Ilk ashes
till we attain It; we are so greased with
cold cream at night that our faces slip
oft the pillow, and we are burned worse
than the Christian martyrs of old, for
thoy never knew the tortures of the curl
ing Iron. We train harder than a foot
ball or boat racing crew; we have Mara
thons of endurance to put flesh on and
take flesh off, with this difference be
tween us and the college athletes: We
are working for a prise that Won't tost
as long as the colors of their pennant In
the first rain the admiration of man.
"We don't let ourselves think because
you men prefer a woman with a face
f
The Home
Ily THOMAS
We are all born with a hundlcap of
one kind or another. Many of those
who have most to toll their fellow-men
are mor handicapped than anybody elso.
It I comparatively easy for a thinker
to write what he wants to say and get
It before others, for most of us can read,
or w think we can.
But many a great thinker cannot give
out hi thoughts in words. He has to
find some other way of expressing him
self. Iluuue titer are great men who tell
us what they think of life and Its prob
lems, In sound, .or palnl, or marble, or
soil. And if we want to be acqualntod
with the thoughts of these men we must
loam to understand music, painting,
sculpturo and farming. All these activi
ties sro methods by which men tell what
they think, Just as the article In this
paper tell what writers think.
II. t
One day we read that' Mr. Morgan,
or some, other man ' of means, has
bought a painting snd paid $100,000
for It, Perhaps w think how fin It
must be to own such a painting, or how
fine It is to have tlOO.OuO to spend for
sucli a thing.
Certainly the average humble home is
short of fin painting. And the average
humble cltlxen makes up his mind that
art Is for th rich alone and he Is de
nied It.
There are two things to be said In reply
to this.
Th first is this: Nearly all of us can
visit a gallery som time or other and
fill the head (and memory) as full of
pictures as we wish.
And the second Is this: A reproduction
of piactically every great painting and
uf all famous buildings and statues U to
be bought by anybody for the average
ptlea of 1 cent In the coin of our realm.
Vou can thus lecure for a sum so
trlfilng that it is not worth mentioning a
print of any painting by Raphael, Item
biundt, Van tyck, and all the rest of the
noble company.
With a few pins you can affix a faw
of them to the wall of your room and be
In good company. When you feel like a
change, you can construct a new gallery
fr 10 cents, or even a nickel." The same
pins will serve again, so there Is no ex
pense for frames or picture cord.
Of course, thee are not originals. But
you can hav th satisfaction of knowing
that the works of th great artltts In th
gullorles could no mor be purchased by
Mr. Moifan than by yourself, liallerles
rarely, 'If ever, part with such works,
ami If a rich man wants to see them he
must ltlier pay his fare to the gallery
or be contotit with a leororturtjcn. And
e
CewrttM. 1011, Nttlcnil Xrwt lnwdtlla
f DQ&. CATCHER
o
and Her Folks
L. (iAIWSIDK.
that looks like the map of an undiscov
ered country, and , thinking makes the
lines that show tho country is Inhabited;
we go through life denying ourselves that
w may become beautiful and win your
admiration, and what do you man give up
to win ours?"
Lysander John thought and ' thought.
and scratched his head, but couldn't re
call a sacrifice,
"Vou enjoy what you like best In life
without any thought of your hair or your
skin, and you come to tin with unsliaved
hair on your face and no hair on your
head, and a red tip on your nose, and a
form that would make a straight front
corset shriek with despair, and demanrt
that we admire you. And to my dying
humiliation I confess that we (In.
"You like a new little pink baby, with
out a feature that Is good, a complexion
that Is all ona color, and no shape to
you, and we look at you and get down on
our knees. We don't say, 'Vou need train
ing down.' or 'Vou weigh too little.' or
'Your color Is bad.' We Just look at you
and admire you, and begin to bait our
hooka.
"With our figures made good by self
denial and our complexions mad
pleasing In your eye by mor de
nials, put a bait on the hook, w
throw In the line, hoping with so
much effort and self-sacrlflc to catch
a whale, and some of us don't catch
anything, and most of us catch minnows.
And those of you who are minnows,
which means nearly all of you, spend th
rest of your lives In making us bellev
you are whale.
"What good will the ballot do woman
so long as she will refuse to' go to th
poll In a hut sun for fear of spoiling her
onmplexton, and In that way lose the ad
miration of the Very man whose neck th
ballot puts under her foot?
"Until we are freed from the .burden
of caring what you men think of our
looks, we will not be free," raid Daysey
Mayme. I
"And It doesn't appear to me," said
Lysander John to himself In a very low
whisper, "that you will ever be free."
Art Gallery
J
TAl'l'IiJU.
you can get reproductions for about 89
tents a hundred.
For a cent a shopgirl can hang a
Raphael In her room snd feast ner eyes
on something worth while If she has that
kind' of eyes. If nut, no on will pre
vent her spending the cent for a con of
Ice cream.
For a cent a boy who wants to ac
quaint himself with a great building,
say the Greek 1'arthenoti, can buy a
picture of that noble ruin and pin It on
the wall of his room. Or he can spend
the cent for gum and go about horn
giving a fairly good Imitation of a cow
chewing Us cud. ; . ,.".',""
Nearly all great pictures are owned
by nutlons which will never part with
tlicm. Ho the rich cannot buy them.
Nearly all great pictures hav been
photographed, and the prints can be
bought by any one. This Includes th"
poor.
Ice cream cones and gutn are arallabl
to all, rich and poor. But we never
heard of Mr. Morgan or any one els
lay'.ng In a hundred thousand dollars'
worth of either.
The moral to this Is: You can study
and enjoy the art of great men if you
want lo.
And the question of this Is:
Do you want to?
r
An Autumn Query
J
Ily I'EKCV BUAW.
What makes the college youth give up
Th cigarette, the flowing cup?
What makes him early seek th cot
That usuully know him not?
Why does ho train his hair to grow
Till ringlets on his shoulders flow?
What makes him don the padded clothe
And shout strong numbers through his
noss?
What makes him lausb st legs a-twlet.
At ankle sprain and broken wust?
What makes hlni weep when led away
To think he's useless for the fray?
What makes staid old spectators yell
And carry on hke ? Very well
What wipes out hats and voices, too,
And leaves In an ecstatic stew?
What makes the girl who would not go
Across the street In wind or snow
$!t chilled out doors with tense delight
And wave a fag with all her might?
Tiav let u end this long suspend.
Your suffering must be Intense.
This mania that rhymes Willi Pall
fs known to science as Foot EaJL
1