Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, November 10, 1911, Page 11, Image 12
1 I i J X SILK HAT HARRY'S DIVORCE SUIT I VknTTD THANH BOTH WOU tkNi E HAe TH15 (f C)00O TOUCH I THE 0 BOJJ TOOA-v CMy ME THW FOR- 10,000 (RON WtN HAnJE ft NO fi NATION- 00 VOO COM KMOvn"! I .Ho Too Good to Last By DOKOTJIV IHX. A youtiK man In Clilcago, where divorce x Is said to bs easy, has sought to forestall domestic trouble by filing with the county recorder a guarantee to be a model hus band. This ante-nuptial contract, duly signed and witnessed by a notary, promises. "My wife may do. as she pleases. She is free to go and come when she likes, to go with whom cha chooses, and I will not be jealous. I will not go xunnlnK Tor a fellow because he admires her beauty, and because she smiles when he (peaks to her. "I will not Interfere with any of her (ilaiig. "I will bo kind and good to her. I will lve'her all of my earnings, and It will b her privilege to do with my Income as h llkea, to long as sho feeds me well. "When we hav a surplus and It goes U the bank, J agree not to hold the key. "THERE IS NO FUN IN MANAGING A MAN WHO NEVER KICKS." J agree to come home at the proper hour each night, or give her a valid excuse. And I further agree that I will let er get a divorce If I fall to behave us a lnd, loving, gentle, considerate husband 10 ner. yt When the guarantee had been placed on record tho couple sought a minister and were married. This case In a curious and Interesting phase of the domestic question, for It Indicates that one man, at least, has undertaken to solve the problem of mak ing matrimony a grand, sweet song by putting the soft pedal on himself, so to peak. Of course. It is no new thing for a man to promise anything and everything to the lady he U wooing. It is a time when the lover, lets go all hold upon veracity and qualifies for' membership In the Ananias club. There Isn't a married woman who doesn't recall how her husband before she was married swore to her that she was the only woman In the world and that his love would never grow colder or less Impassioned than at that minute, and that he spent whole evenings assur ing her that her slightest wish shouiJ be h'.a law, that he could sit up and holu her hand forever, and that he asked nothing fit fate but tho prlvlllege of toll ing to surround her with every luxury. All of which hat n't prevented him from arriving at the place where his kisses are perfunctory pecks on the cheek, when he growls over the couking, and when fc MOT A PUBLIC Vffi "UK GUARANTEED TO She asks for the price of a new hat he snaps out, "Great Bi ott, Mary, do you think I've got nothing better ti do than to slave from morning to night to pay mllllner'a bills?" Perhaps It was observing that pie crust has nothing. In point of brittle Bens, on the promises a oian makes a woman befjre marriuKe that Induced l'ie aatute Chicago ludy to make her pros- eeo FOJ LETTtmCH O Jt-t "C u-' I'LL iTC Twe BoiS HI TMG KAUE ANO 6rT TVS t cuucp oEr fvt J I NOMINATION pective bridegroom put his vows Into the shape of a legal document, but, as a matter of fact, this affidavit will b no more effective or binding than have been nil the other lovers' oaths. In tho first place, It promises too much. It Is not In the power of wea'.t humanity to be the pin feathered d -niewtlc angel this man agrees to be, and if he could, no woman on ;aith would be Ion.? Buffering enough to be able to endure it. A brute of a husband Is bad enough, goodness knows, but heaven preserve a woman from the awful fate of being marr.ed to a masculine doormat, that doesn't even resent being trodden upon and kicked about. A moan husband at ie:ist furnishes a woman with some In terest, but of the too good husband, she dies of surfeit or boredom. The Chicago man must know little, Ch CxakWctl lndeed, of" women If he believes he is going to retain his wife's love and in sure himself a tranquil married life by tho program he had mapped out. To begin w'ith, ho asserts that his wife may do as sho pleases, that she can come and go as she likes, and with whom she chooses, and that he will not be jealous. That, no doubt, sounded noble, and strong, and self-abnegating to him aa he promised It, and he pictured, his wife throwing fits, of Joy over It. But will BheT Nay, nay, Edward; she won't. About the second time she takes a squint at that proviso in the antenuptial contract it won't look like 'a gorgeous compliment. It will appear a deadly Insult to her. She will begin to think that her hus band must esteem ljer a very poor thing If he doesn't think her worth taking care of. Also that he wouldn't be willing for her to go with other men unless ho be lieved her so unattractive that no Other man would take a second look at her. Sort of grandmother business, you know. Then the jealousy paragraph will begin to soak In on her, and she will perceive that the only reason that a man can premise never to be Jealous of Mi wife Is because his love Is of such a milk and watery brand that it hasn't enough sub stance In It to even curdle. Oh, no son, you can't make a hit with your wife by giving her the right to flirt around with other men. Xcr does a man make a winning with lis wife by letting her do exactly aa UU A MiJUEI, liCiUA.ND.'' Khe pleases. There's no fun In managing a man who never kicks, nor rears, nor bolls, nor buck Jumps, but who comes up l.ke a brbken-spUiUi? old plow horse, ani mi'ks his head under the yoke. Neither docs a man clinch domestic hnpplrwss by turning over every cent he earns ti his wife and letting her become the family banner. The hand that holds the purso rule the roost, and there isn't I J Tim DEE: Anw THE ai-wtiaas wt ?iNHtl ilV 6 PiPf FO- A G-ETAwxAV Phase Stop, Mr. rws teachsh. HD rue. BOOB ON A LBior m IXE CHAiF-FER. CrRAH PCTFEVt-V 00 SOU NOT "ME AJfCCO AV M6. HOPPED TH BOOB AAmTCP AT TVS& VNH1- A MOCTamO THEN PA'O MEETCI--V THC(l5 OHE TXlNCr I'D i-!KE TO KNO BET'-oA.e. vow 0TPAiPt ano (Ti THIS. IF A KESTAruP-AHT IS OlfXTV VOU CALU IT A 'AWE TDfA, $JT DEATH t-t- pics' in rrtE vAu.es HA-I GCT ;xtB MOW . THAT HA DOOOH in IT- vxOrttciH AT - 00 NT MAVJE TO GT UPTILU 3- A. A . HA W A GRSAStN i Where's aa old woman to go when the years Leave her alone with her sighs and her tears, Gray-hatred and pennlleKs, feeble and blow Where' aa old woman to go? a woman living that can help feeling a sort of contempt for the man that xhe Is shrewd enough to work Into abdicating his (i.ruoe and taking a second place la the family circle. i . -. n 1 1 .jh"m,I'! ii i i i j t.ii 1 1 in. I,, -I,,, . i.sjwii ii i i ipummwuuiwiijw" imin 1 1 himij i jilhijsj m 1 1 OMAATIA FKIHAY. XOVKMUKU 10. 1011. The Judge Was Nominated All Right, All Right CM - -HERE HG COME OuT 1 Cop MOTWES'S NO JHE' ON PARCXO CVPAriUlviA HHT rHE. CAT TO TDvn A-- fH vA-y FfiO JA MrDftA MxiTH TUG MOLt-it . B .cm SCR. cm niK a terrei..(T JAin. " TXNnY let THE CAT GO AyvAW TH HOUiE UNi.GE.iJ VOW PJT 0(jTTE7t ON H CI. FEET- JMt mam -oia .vn av. oonT f-KCD MER CRQCf-Ell NOR. rAV cHl LO . Ou MAM irl-HCr fSE-ArsS, (CIO ffOAT5 Ar-0 CON G-t-OEUATlON BvT Si) camT Bull faoj-S - MORGAN IFIHAvC TO R)--OVA4 0U CLEfM TO fttO IAn IERO. V I Jffl A . THEM I FECTJ Tte MORSE Mitch HiopMo taick OUT THK MC(tHinCr KOiK ATi? PA OAtlt -iiprriMO A5HC5. ctAH(Hc opTMi VW, VJASMIMO- WAOrONJ. TMN I MITCH Up AOAiH ANO PCUvlEg.TV6 UJNCM RO-'TS. Tiut 2 Dm TM KM HOT UtCAD Tit-L. &.pM. TMEH I TURN IN TME CASH ANO CHARO-ei VST THE Plft- 6- flEi.fAHt ANP 1 The Riddle liy II. E. II. Wbat'g an old woman to do when her kin Fall to remember that hands, worn and thin, Cared for thHn, slaved for them, all the yeara through What's an old woman to do? No. No man ran sixuie hit domestic happiness, or the love of his wife, by making a vassul of himiolf to her and rtnnlltiiig hr to htiipeck hint. Litueuih . .i , - v I fiHAT OiO THEN V NO FOR.0 "1 ShooT , By Tad T DAppyi BEST 6IRL-- HI5 VHIrfc: BEN RitXV HAOORPcpED HH houe. painted a DEAmpi-'U THE PAin TE-p- HO CEN ON THG Joe TAN0 pAW5 ANO Bejn THiriK.(N(r He. Aimr Be STAt-t-IN (r OH TME. ' 2 T60 A VfVAi-K OWETd TO i-OOK THETMir-tOr ovC"f-' "THE. VER.V Fl -!rTX(Cr K6. JAW WAS A tUHCH OF- ISTZKJHCr ON THE NOfiTX SlPE. WAiWNir up Ct-OJCP- Ht REAP.TiAlO. IPtriC SeNOlTA, vwitpe IN viiTETO TO rAicG A TUlP TO THE NoarH fou AnO pEFtfED WOV-D THE H I 0ALQO ? THEiafS QrOL.O IM THEM Ht-uS BOVS . I GEE AHfPfV TO DOTILU Guv 4 Wbat'g an old woman's reward for a life Given to others as MOTHER and WIKK. Leaving her faltering, furrowed and scored What's au old woman's reward? Ihfi vei.eer of civilization woman is still as primitive at hem t aa her cuve mother wan, uuil she mill worship brute HtrciiKtli in a iiian, and iuves lrt the man who is strung tU'JUfch to muster her. ""I By Tad r- 1 - - fWa fid o Daysey Mayme Ily FItANCKS When a woman bristles with her wrongs, she shows It by addressing the one man who makes up her audience as If lie were two men. or a host. This is so unfailingly true that L4samlr John Appleton knows the nature of what is coming the moment tlayiey Mayme aays: "You men." Kef ore the has said another word, anticipation, born of painful expe rience, has made him look likn a to mato vine tha morning after the first frost. "You men,'' she said, and Iysander John began to ferl the cold creeping Into his veins, "talk of the emancipa tion of women as if It will he secured the moment we have gained the glorious privilege of voting for a dog-catcher. tell you. It will not lie. We are not slaves to mnnl We are rlavra to his demand that we become beautiful In his eyoa." A feeble protest from Lysander John, who felt that as the sole representative of his sex he should be defiant. 'You have led us to believe that a woman should be beautiful or apologise tor the room she takes up on the earth, and you have worshipped so steadfastly at the shrine of a fair skin or a pretty dimple, that we are wasting our live trying to make of oursulves something which we are not. "We deny ourselves every pleasure that leaves a freckle in Its wake; we fix our ideals on a certain weight, and starve or aet food that tastes Ilk ashes tUl we attain It; we are so greased with cold cream at night that our faoea slip off the pillow, and we are burned worse than the Christian martyrs of old, for thoy never knew tho tortures of the curl ing iron. We train harder than a foot ball or boat raolng crew; we have Mara thons of endurance to put flesh on and take flesh off, with this difference be tween us and the eollege athletes: We are working for a prise that won't last aa long aa the colors of their pennant in the first rain the admiration of man, "We don't let ourselves think because you men prefer a woman with a face The Home liy THOMAS I. We are all born with a handicap of on kind or another. Many of those who have most to tell their follow-men are more handicapped than anybody else. It Is comparatively easy for a thinker to writ what ha want to tay and get It before others, for most of u can read, or w think we can. Uut many a great thinker cannot give out his thoughts In words. He has to find some other way ot expressing him self, liunca there ure great men who tell ua what they think of life and Its prob lems, in sound, or patnl, or marble, or soil. And If we want to be acquainted with th thoughts of these men we mutt loam to understand music, painting, sculpturo and farming. All these activi ties are methods by which men tell what they think, Just as the article in thl paper tell what writers think. 1 One day we read thati Mr. Morgan, or tome, other man ' of means, ha bought a painting and paid 1100,00) for It. Perhaps w think how fin It must be to own such a painting, or how fine It it to tiav flOOOuO to spend for such a thing. Certainly the averag humble home it short of fin paintings. And the average humble cltlaen makes up his mind that art I for th rich alone and h la de nied It. There are two things to be laid It) reply to this. Th first I this: Nearly all of ua can vlolt a gallery tome tliua or other and fill tho head (and memory) t full of picturei at w wish. And the second Is this: A reproduction of practically every great painting and of all famous building tnd statues I to be bought vy anybody for th avfiage piles of 1 cent In the coin of our realm lou can tnus tecure lor a sum to trifling that It is not worth mentioning a print of any painting by Raphael, Item bmndt. Van Pyck, and all the rest ot the nohle company. With a few pint you can affix a few of them to the wall of your room and be In good company. When you feel Ilk a change, you can construct a new gallery for 10 cents, or even a nickel. Th same pins will serve again, to there It no ex pense for frames or picture cord. Of course, thee ar not originals. But you can hav th satisfaction of knowing that the works of th great artlita in the sulloiies could no more b purchased by Mr. Morgan than by yourself. Galleries rarely, 'If ever, part with tueh workt, and If a rich man wants to see them he mUHt either pay his fare to the gallery or be coiitoiit with a reproduction. And 11 CewrlfM. 1011, ICdlontl Xrwt Aocilta (PQ( CATCHER . .,.- ' V XV : -Bh. 'II.. I and Her Folks L. (MllHlDK. that looks like the map of an undiscov ered country, and thinking makes the lines that show tho country Is Inhabited; we go through life denying ourselves that we may become beautiful ami win your admiration, and what do you men give up to win ours?" Lysander John thought and thought. and scratched his head, but couldn't re call a sacrifice. "You enjoy what you like best in life without any thought of your hair or your skin, and you come to us with unshaved hair on your face and no hair on your head, and a red tip on your nose, and a form that would make a straight front corset shriek with despair, and demand that we admire you. And to my dying humiliation I confexa that we do, "You like a new little pink baby, with out a feature that Is good, a complexion that la all one color, and no shape to you, and we look at you and get down on our knees. We don't say, 'You need train ing down,' or 'You weigh too little,' or 'Your color Is bad.' W Just look at you and admire you, and begin to bait our hooks. "With our figures made good by self denial and our complexion mad pleasing In your eye by more de nials, put a bait on the hook, w throw in the line, hoping with to much effort and elf-tacrtflce to catch a whale, and some of us don't catch anything, and most of u catch minnows. And those of you who are minnows, which mean nearly all of you, spend th rest ot your live In making ua believe you or whales, "What good will th ballot do woman to long as sho will refuse to go to th poll In a hot sun for fear of spoiling her oomplexton, and In that way lose th ad miration of the Very man whose neck th ballot put under her foot? "Until we are freed from the .burden of caring what you men think of our looks, we will not be free," said Daysey Mayme. I "And it doesn't appear to me," said Lysander John to himself In a very low whtspor, "that you will ever ba free." Art Gallery j TAi'l'lIt. you can get reproductlona for about 80 cents a hundred. For a cent a shopgirl can hang a Raphael in her room and feast ner eyes on something worth while If ah ha that kind' of eyes. If not, no on will pre vent her spending the cent for a con of Ice cream. For a cent a boy who want to ac quaint himself with a great building, tay the Greek Parthenon, can buy a picture of that noblo ruin and pin It on th .wall of bis room. Or ha can apend the cent for gum and go about hum giving a fairly good imitation of a cow chewing ltt cud. : i,.;',.';"' Nuarly all great plcturea tr owned by nuUons which will never part with them. Bo the rich cannot buy them. Nearly all great picturei hav been photon raphed, and th print can b bought by any on. This includes tha poor. Icu cream cone and gum ar available to alt, rich and poor. liut w never heard of Mr. Morgan or any on els la',ng in a hundred thousand dollars' worth of either. The moral to this Is: You can study and enjoy the art of great men If you want to. And the question of this It: Do you want to? r An Autumn Query J Ky i'KKCV KUAW. What makes the college youth give up The cigarette, the flowing cup? What mokes him early teek th rot That ufcuully know hlin pot? ' Why does he train his hair to grow Till ringlets on his shoulders flow? What makes him don the padded clothe And thuut Strang numbers through hi nose? What makes him laugh at legs a-twlct. At ankle sprain and broken wrist? What makes him weep when led away To think he's useless for the fray? What makes staid old spectator yell And carry on like 1 Very weil What wipes out hats and voices, too, And leaves In an ecstatic ttew? What makes th girl who would not go Across the street in wind or snow Sit ehllled out doors with tense delight And wave a flag with all her mlKhtr Tiay let u end this long suspense, Your sufferings must be intense. This mania that rhymes with Pall fa known to science at Foot ball.