TIFE BEE: OMAHA, TTTESDAT. OCTOHJtlK u,
1
The ee'g n Uaaz,ine a
SILK HAT HARRY'S DIVORCE SUIT
What a Baby She Was
By Tad
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N DO - TER"-S THE PCATTgrK POUSHCR.
DIES' IH WONflrKOP AHO LCAVC& TO "JPOflrff
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THAT HTAKC CARE OF HI BABy VHO
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IT A PROPCT- EDUCATION- CAhT- HC WAS
A 6O00rpi EH 0 TO rvC AND I HATt'tO TWL0W
H'M D0vi VNiLUou TAK& THC 8A8V AHO
JfSOOO? 5AS XEi PLEASE HAC8 -
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1 HAMW l one VJ;!1J VWHAT DSE ,, if T
f "".JW
V e3 -e!S5Si'
h'
Even an Emperor
Learn Something
Should
of a
Woman's Nature.
J
(Cops'rlght. 1911. by
Ex &miner.)
There Is i pathetic little Horry going
the rounds of the press about the em
presB of Germany.
This Is the tale at the newspapers
tell It.
The emperor, like
all men has an eye
for beauty and es
pecially admires
the human form
divine of woman.
He had expressed
himself frequently.
nd In laudatory
terms, regarding1
the perfection of
several svelt and
fcylph-Uke beauties
of the day, and
the empress had
listened to his
words of commen
dation and then
she had stood be
fore the mirror and looked upon her own
ample proportions and suffered all those
miseries which only women who love
sA feel their physical charms fading can
suffer when they hear the object of
their love rave over younger and more
attractive creatures.
Then (so the story goes) the empress
decided to make herself Utbe unto the
falrle. who had called forth the elo
quence of the emperor. Bo she procured
all sorts of patent medicines, fat foe
creams, and every apparatus for reduc
ing weight through physical exercise.
All these thing tne empemr
discovered and had cast Into the ash
heap flf emperors have ash heaps). At
least, so goes the tale, he demanded that
the empress abandon her many efforts to
become a sylph and remain precisely as
she was.
No doubt he assured her that she
pleased him f ar more with her matronly
proportions than all other women pleased
him with their combined fascinations.
At the same time It Is to be hoped the
emperor made a mental vow to be more
tactful, and to avoid talking In the
By ELLA WHEELKR AV1LCOX.
American-Journal . presence of a portly wife of his admira
tion for slender, sinuous beauties.
A man who celebrated his golden wed
ding not long ago declared one of his
rules for making marriage a success had
been in avoiding praises of other women
in the presence of his wife.
This seems scarcely a compliment to
the' wife.
The woman who can not hear sane and
reasonable praise of another uttered by
her lover or her husband must be
dwarfed in mind and petty In soul.
But there Is no woman so broad.' so
generous, or so well poised, who does rot
.'eel Inwardly hurt when the man she
loves exhausts his vocabulary of admiring
words upon some woman who is her op
posite In type.
And yet that is what hundreds of other
wise kind, clean-minded and sensible men
are doing dally.
In Justice to the majority of such men
be It said that they imagine their wives
are absolutely convinced of their own
supremacy In the hearts of their hus
sands, and that they are above and be
yond any such emotion ss Jealousy.
Were the situation reversed, howe-er.
and were the wife of any man to ex
patiate frequently upon the fascinations
of some male acquaintance, declaring
that he was an Ideal which could not be
surpassed, one can easily Imagine the
wounded feelings, the surprised and prob
able Indignation of the listener.
There are scores of wives who are
conscious of their own fading charms
who are still beautiful In the eyes of their
husbands.
The added maturity which comes with
motherhood renders a woman doubly at
tractive to some men. And such men may
r
Pudd'nhead Maxima
By MARK TWAIN". ,
We ought never to do wrong when
people are looking.
Let us be thankful for the fools. But
for them the rest of us could not suc
ceed. Few thing are harder to put up with
than the annoyance of a good example.
When In doubt, tell the truth.
There are two times In a man's life
when he should not speculate: When he
can't afford to and when he can.
Hunger Is the handmaid of genius.
Training is everything. The peach was
once a bitter almond; cauliflower is noth
ing but cabbage with a college education.
Wrinkles should merely indicate where
smiles have been.
Jt Is easier to stay out than get out.
Man Is the only animal that blushes or
Deeds to.
In statesmanship get the formalities
right: never mind about the moralltlea.
Octobfr This is one of the peculiarly
dangerous months to speculste In stocks.
The others are July. January. September.
AF'ril. November, May, March. June, De
cember. August and February.
The old say says, "Let a sleeping dog
He." Right. Still, whan there Is much
at stake, it Is better to get a newspaper
to do it
Tew of us can stand prosperity. An
other man's. I mean.
Names are not always what they seem.
The common Welsh nsme. Bxyxxllloep, is
pronounced Jackson.
Often the surest way to convey mis
Information is to tell ths strict truth.
Remsrk of Dr. Ealdwin's concerning
upstarts: , We don't care to eat toad
stools that think they are truffles.
Let ut endeavor so to live that when
we come to die even the undertaker will
be sorry.
The universal brotherhood of man is
our precious posetion. what there la
of It.
Be careful in your dress if you must,
but keep a tidy svui.
If yuu pick up a starving dog and
make him prosperous he 111 not bite
you. Thix is the pruncipal difference be
tween a dug and a man.
It Is morn trouble to make a maxim
than It is to do right.
Pity is for the living, envy Is for tbe
Ua4.
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21
(
TOOoTlLL
11 A HAPPV
4
speak of the beauty of younger women
as they would speak of a picture, without
meaning to wound the feelings of the
wife.
But the wife herself, conscious that she
la no longer young. Is hypersensitive,
and takes the husband's praise of another
as a reflection upon herself.
It would not be an unworthy study
even for an emperor to learn a little
something about a woman s nature and
to let wisdom guide his speech.
Many a political plum has turned out to
he a lemon in disguise.
r
Powerless Peers
i
J
The Marquis of Queensberry, In the
"smoke room" of the Mauretania they
always call It the "smoke room" on
English ships said of the passing of the
house of lords.
"It makes little difference to me. I
have no seat In ths bouse. I am, you
know, only a peer of Scotland."
He smiled grimly snd added: "A
Scotch peer Isn't thought much of In
the house of lords. There was a Bap
tist minister once who attempted to en
ter the floor of the house. Ignorant of
the fact that the floor Is exclusively
reserved for members and their servsnts.
"The doorkeeper thought the ml .lter
might be the valet or butler of some
peer.
" 'What lord do you sere?' he asked.
" 'Whst lord? replied the minister.
'Why, the lord Jehovah!"
" 'Oh. he's got no seat hers.' sneered
the doorkeeper. He's one of them poor
Scotch peers, I suppose.' "
Married Life the Second Year
Getting Settled in the New Apartment Helen Falls
from a Stepladder.
By MABLK HKHBKHT I KSfclU.
"There's only one thing to do." War
ren's lone wss final. "Have that radiator
taken out and put the couch there. That's
the only place for It."
"But can ws do
without the radia
tor T" Holelt looked
up doubtfully.
"liasy. You'll
get all the heat
you want from the
other room. These
apartments are al
ways overheated.
And why on earth
don't they put
these radiators un
der a window or
behind a door,
where they'll be
out of the way--
Instead of planting
them right In tie
centra of the best
wall space T Get
the Janitor up here
now, and I'll have him take this out."
Helen phoned down for the Janitor,
who said he would be up In a few mo
ments. It was the day after they had
moved. Perhaps because he was a lit
tie conscience stricken for having thrown
all the work on Helen the day before
Warren had left the office an hour earlier
to help her soma before dinner.
All the pictures were yet to be hung,
the rugs to be put down, and most of
the things were scattered about, the mov
ing men had set things down anywhere.
There had been no time to study out the
best arrangement.
"Why can't the bookcase come over
here? Then that will leave room for the
tea table In this corner."
The "Off Season
Copyright 1911, National Nsws Association.
By Nell Brmkley
5
The time when Summer kisses her fingers good-bye to Man and T. ""-- u int rearhinc her fur-rlad arms to them.
'Wait!" pushing her aside as she tried
to move It over. "Let me do It It's too
heavy for you. Didn't I tell you not to
strain yourself In this moving?"
It was only a little thing, and yet so
rsrely wss he thoughtful or considerate
of her, that Just to be told something
was too heavy for her to move and that
he didn't want har to strain herself, gave
her a sense of pleasure.
'Now, let's hang acme of these pic
tures while we wait for the Janitor,"
suggested Helen. "Here, this one goes
over the desk."
Warren dragged the steplsdder over
beside the desk.
'This thing's not any too steady," as
he stepped gingerly on the frail looking
adder.
"Walt, dear, 111 hold It," steadying It
with both hands while Warren climbed
up cautiously.
'That about right?" as he sapped the
hook over the moulding and hung the
ploture from It.
Helen atepped back, still holding the
ladder with one hand. "No, a little more
to the left. No that's too much. There
-that's Just right."
Aa Warren got down the ladder
creaked loudly.
"Oh, dear, i m so afraid that's not
strong enough to hold you. The other
pictures are all very light. You hold
the ladder and let me hang them. No,
no,"' as he protested. "I want to do It.
Now this goes over the mantle."
He ' drew the stepladder before the
mantel and held It while she rsn up
lightly. It took only a few minutes to
hang the others. Then they went Into
the dining room. In hanging a large
fruit picture over the sideboard, Helen
dropped the hook on the floor.
"Oh, never mind. dear, if you can't
find It!" Aa Warren stooped down to
look for It. "There's plenty more In the
sitting room on the wlndowsill."
"Where 'bouts? I don't see them," he
called back.
"Then look In the bed room on the
bureau."
"Don't see anything that looks like
picture hooka In here."
"Then Delia must have moved them.
Walt, I'll come and see." '
She started to hurry down the ladder,
but In some way her foot missed a step
and with a startled cry she fell.
Warren rushed In and picked her up.
"Are you hurt, are you hurt?" almost
savagely.
"No, no. It's nothing," between a laugh
and a sob. But she was holding her arm
as though It pained her.
"Let he see." pushing up her sleeve and
showing a brulve ou ,the white skin.
"Why did you try to gee down alone?"
he scolded. "You might have hurt your
self bud. Now run, put something on
that bruite-"
But she still clung to him.
"I will in a moment but first hold me,"
drawing hlra down on the couch. "Dear,
Just for a moment," pleadingly. .
She crept Into his lap and held her
face against bis neck with a quivering
sob.
"Now, now none of that."
A sob at the hopelessness of It all was
her only answer. For a moment she clung
to htm In silence. Then perhaps a little
ashamed of his attitude, he stooped over
and kissed her cheek. She pressed closer
against him. There was another silence.
Then he stooped over and kissed the
bruised arm.
"Now run and put something on that."
"Oh, let me stayJust a little longer I
It help and rests me more than any
thing," drawing his head down and
kissing him softly on his eyes and Hps
and forehead. They were hungry little
kisses, with all her yearning for love In
them.
He submitted passively.
"Oh, why, why do I love you so much
when you care for me so little?" sob
btngly. "You simply let me kiss you.
You Just tolerate rt you don't want It "
"No, Helen, for heaven's sake, don't
begin that! What's the matter with
you today, anyway?"
"Oh. nothing nothing I didn't mean
to be like this"
"Well. I should hope not! I came
home early to help you straighten up
here not to be treated with a dose of
hysteria. If I'd known this I'd stayed
at the office."
"Deer, don't don't say that! I'm not
hysterical I'm only a little tired and '
unstrung."
'Then go He down and rest. I'm aot
so keen on doing thla work."
"Oh, but we must get straightened
out." sitting up and pushing her hair
back wearily.
"Give Delia a day or two longer and
she'll get things Into shape. The trouble
wltli you is you want everything done '
in a minute. We only moved yenterday
and here you're trying to get all
straightened out today. You never use .
any Judgment! Tou go ahead and over
work and get tired and hysterical and
then there's the dev il tu !;"
