Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, October 02, 1911, Page 9, Image 9
f THE BEE: OMAHA. MONDAY, OCTOBER 2. 1911. Jhe ee'g jme jVfaga z. i re p)a f e ft SILK HAT HARRY'S DIVORCE SUIT A Judge Has So Many Friends, You Know lad t"fc7 WW W w - - w W ww Lam am mil. miuhiii .mwi amimi ml saw $uf?r7 RwiMS OT , - . GOT CM A- &E fRc ,txatA jcHi. M , Lucu - J i;AM'7uirNA(uro wow-6' ' fijow-m ict J Vd-0vLltx ' I'm all smo TARry gyT GEE 60TTAN M I n Am - I MOT " ftNU I v 0011 WHO I c.iC.glO lVg HCMQgJ AV fpur.tR lTo I A WHEN TflOW, r V&US It-JAS- J v I r ' -0--Y-- V fei "3T? f'C Jfj 1 I . - . l . . , , . . , - Married Life the Second Year They Leave the Beach and Return to Town on an Early Train VST By MABEL HERBERT URNER "Well, we'll never make that train at this rate," Warren glanced at his watch. 't'a a quarter of eight now." "Oh, If you had only let me. pack this trunk last night. I was afraid we'd be hurried this morn ing. "You had plenty of time If you hadn't dawdled so." Helen was down on her knees pack ing the steamer trunk with nervous haste, while War ren was pacing Im patiently up and down. He had Al ready packed and wrapped his two suit cases, with win precision. But Helen was - still struggling to get In all of her own and Winifred s things. There bad been time to pack very care fully before they left home, and even .hen the capacity of the trunk had been trained But now that she wu hurried It seemed Impossible to get all the thing In. "Could you put my bedroom slippers and thia waist In one of your suit cases. I don't believe I can get them In here!" "Hum! I thought that was coming," as he swung suit case up on the table to unstrap it. "Here give them here!" ungraolously. He shoved the slippers among his brushes and the waist In with ale shirts. "And could you get In this powder box?" "Wrap It up then. I won't have that Muff over everything." "Now, that's all I've room for," as he sloeed and restrapped the case. Helen was crushing in the last few things with desperate disregard of how they would look when taken out. "Now, if you'll help lock It," as she out down the lid, which lacked several Inchea of closing. "You can't get that down. Borne of those things will have to come out." "But I've no place to put them. Oh, dear, we must get this closed. Walt, I'll lt on it. There now try!" After much struggling it was finally :losed and locked. "Now, come on down to breakfast We've only about twenty minutes left.' "Oh, Warren, I won't have time for breakfast. "I've all these little things to put In the handbag. You go on down don't wait for me. 'I'll get something when I get home." "You'll do nothing of the kind! You'll come down and have some breakfast now There's no sense of your fooling around here all morning parking a few things.' As Helen swept the last article Into the handbag the porter appeared for the bag gage. "This all, sir?" as he dragged the steamer trunk and suitcases out into the halL "Yes, that's all. Now be sure to take them right down. That train goes at "Yes, sir, they'll be down there in ten minutes." Helen was looking hurriedly about the room, In the wardrobe and through the bureau drawers. "Come on, come en!" demanded War ren, already out In the hall. "I Just wanted to be sure we haven't left anything. Oh. wait, here's my rub bers on the closet shelf. Now, where will I put them?" "Put them on," curtly. "That's the easiest way to carry them." Mlnnls, the nurse girl, had alreadv gone down with Winifred and a small satchel, and was now waiting for them on the veranda. In the dining room the break fast Warren had ordered was on the table. "Have you settled for everything?" asked Helen, as she gulped down her coffee. "Did that last night Everything's paid for." The hotel bus was waiting to take them to the station. The nurse girl, Winifred. Warren. Helen and the two satchels took up one side, while the two old maid school teachers, who had spent their vacations at the hotel, had the op posite seat. To Helen, with her home and wife- lovlng instincts, a woman struggling through life alone seemed more or lens pathetic. And now she felt there was something wistful in the eyes of these two old maids as they watched Winifred, who was holding tight to a small Teddy bear. A sudden sense of gratitude filled Helen's heart as she thought of how much she had compared to these women. Her husband and her baby! Ah, yes; that was a great deal! She was proudly conscious when Warren helped her and the nursemaid out, and then courteously held open the 'bus door for the two school teachers. The trunk and suit cases ware already on the platform. The train was Just due. Warren hur ried into the baggage room to get the checks, while Helen and the nurse girl waited outside. And again Helen had a feeling of pity for the two old maids who had to get their own tickets and check their own baggage. Yes, It was good "to be taken car of." And now the sound of the in-rushlng train as it spent around the curve and bore down on them with clinging bell and loudly escaping steam. 'Here, don't stand so near!" Warren pushed Helen mark roughly. "Don't you know better than to stand ss close as that?" But Helen didn't mind the gniffness of his tone, for It wss after all a part of the "being looked after" that she so loved. Warren led the way through to the last coach before they found two vacant seats together. The nurse girl. Wini fred and the two satchels were settled In the first and Helen and Warren Just be hind. "Oh, Isn't It close in here? Can you raise this window?" asked Helen. "You'll be covered with soot." "But we must have some air It's stif ling! Warren reached over to raise the win dow but it stuck fast. "I'll have to get there I caji't open It from here." She moved over while he put his knee on the seat and strained at the window. Still it refused to go up. "Oh. than never mind, dear." seeing he was losing his temper. Wslt until the conductor comes by." But to be thwarted In any effort always Incensed him. And now as he threw his whole weight against It, his hand slipped and hit sharply against tbe woodwork. "Oh! I'm so sorry did It hurt you?" He rubbed his knuckles with a muttered oath. "Oh, dear, you've skinned the knuckle. I'm so sorry. There's some witch haxel In the handbag don't you want It?" He shook her hand from his arm. "No, I don't. All I want is to be left alone. You're never content with things as they are. You're always wanting something else. I never saw such a woman. It's either too hot or too cold, or too much air or not enough. Now," drawing a news paper from his pocket. "I'd UHe to have the rest of this trip In peace." Helen bit her Up and turned to gate out at the flying fields, blinking hard to keep back the tears. And she only asked him to raise the window! She was conscious that the two old maids, who had taken a seat a little further back across the aisle, were watch' lng her closely. Warren's voice hail been so loud that even through the noUe of the train they heard plaln'y. And this time their gaze mas the pity lng one. MtiiMf. THE G-IArJT LOfti Ai THOU THSN JAPBCTV ItAATCH&J . HAM M & TO A JOar fLAf i V W BOttM TTJ THSt J BTWV BOAE Of Tvt ft FAu5 VAMCHTV UUWfcsrRTAtK. rtOOKCO Ml NS VHITH A VKAvV AHPHAuHO KWTOTVS ANIC AtTCK. EV MAO POURED A QUART OiO 0T I K1TD J! NV M-ejATVP ANt AS6t "IF EMKW uj0mn"5AW TH S?" MA.O" VJOOUO TVE Pink LAOVTUftN'OttV ?(Wl-t ? THE. NEEPLE . HA MA A CAflTDOHi T , ON A COUiM PA-POj- 3 OMt -JOO ;tohw". I 6ET vOWN AT J A A pjtAvJ 5"o 6 PictulfE AOS K lAOUri M o- TO A ci. SStdOOUt An rr swAi cnn,N tut t-OMr Bsrrotvc rusi PtfttrAw .CACMKT TVL StBK NA(jo-W ujoulO rstkaaiin but a m) OF S MOULOsT Rim r fOinZ A-L sSCAfg JsTBNntLO TO feS CtTO! 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THAT ALL I MktC TO OO IS 70 OCtlVCH. 300 FAPBJU AROUND TMCX AT KM O IN I frHT i'aa AUU TV ROOcVH r ftte 1 I s a n ki I 1 m n I N0THK TOOOTlU. f Men, Read This And if You Are Fair Miulel, Vou Will .VgIT. Portrait of a Gentleman By n?? Drmkiey Copyright, 19U, National News Association. .'t'.'X " . Up-to-Date Jokes She had risen several times to let a gentleman pass out between the arts. "I am very sorry to disturb you ma dam," he remarked apologetically, as be went out for the fourth time. "Oh, don't mention it," she replied, pleasantly, "I am most happy to oblige you. My husband keeps the refreshment bar." Gentleman (to cigar dealer) Have you any Si-and-So brand in stock? How are they? Dealer First class, sir. This isst lot Is an extremely fine one. OeaUetaan (departing) Thanks. You wrote that they were very poor, but I am pleased to find you ware mistaken. I am the manufacturer. Good day. "I say, mamma." said little Tommv "is It true thaf whan you first met papa you had fallen into the water, and h jumped to and saved you?" "Quite true, my dear." replied mamma with a smile. "Then. I wonder If that's why papa won't allow me to learn to swim?" r Dodged Corned Beef , . CwVth' tVUC.'ny1 -7fl' i i HV DOROTHY DLX. At the beginning of the theatrical sea son I desire to address a few earnest. heartfelt, tearful words to men. Gentle men, you have passed a law requiring woman to remove their hats In the thea ter, and to their credit, women obey this law without proteM. although It subjects them to much inrunvenlence, and Is a blow to their vanity, slix-t a woman s hat Is to her face aa a frame to a picture, and en hance her good looks an per cent. Nevertheless women recognise that it makes for the com mon good, and com fort, and pleasure of an audience for them not to obscure the stage by their millinery. &6 t the theater they oheerfully wear their hale In their laps instead of on their heads. Now, aa the ordinance In regard to woman's hats In the theater has worked out so well.. I ask you. In the name of Justice and humanity to peas another law making it a misdemeanor for men to go out between acts, thereby Inflicting bodily Injury on women, and ruin on their clothes. What women suffer from this nuisance no tongue oan tell, but It converts the ater-going from the Joy and pleasure it was mant to be to a martyrdom that calls for the display of all of the Christian virtue of resignation under persecution and forgiveness for undeserved affliction. No one save a woman can realise the fear ful anxiety with which a woman view the men who sit In tbe same row with her at the p'.ay, and how eagerly she scans eaob face as It appear, to try to antici pate whether It belongs to a gentleman who la capable of sitting Quietly In his seat for a couple of hours, or If It I the mug of a well-dressed hoodlum who will trample her underfoot ruthlessly six or seven time during the evening aa he passes back and forth to the neighboring barrooom. For on her seat neighbor's conduct de pends tbe woman's pi assure and the state of her wardrob. for It Is Impossible to appreciate even tbe finest play when one' toe are writhing in agony from having had a 100-pound man step on them, and on ha had one's beat frock mussed and Jerome K. Sawyer of Oakland, Cal., la accused of running away from a prom ised feed of corned beef and cabbage; also of wife desertion. One morning re cently he asked his wife. Bertha, what she intended to have lor dinner on hi cabbage would form the chief portion of the menu. Sawyer never came back. Mrs. Sawyer testified to these facts in a suit for divorce, and was granted an Interlocutory decree. She declared that she did not know what had become of her return- Sh replied that corned beef and hUHhiind other thsn thst the dsy follow ing his disappearance his employer came to her home and Inquired about her health. When she asked for the reason for such an Inquiry the employer told her Sawyer the day before secured 100 jn the pretext that his wife was about to die. ('Difihor for Health. Camphor t highly esteemed for Its medicinal virtues by the natives of Borneo and Sumatra, who will often wear It around their necks, waists, wrists and ankles in smsll bags as sort of charm against dlnease, torn by the clumsy elephant that lis Just dragged over one Isp. Ferhapa, If men realised Just how much Inconvenience and annoyance they put women to by climbing over them between acts at the theater they would show more confederation In the matter. Therefore, I call the attention or any gentleman who may chance to read these Unas to two Important facts. The first Is thst the space between tiie rows of seats In 4 theater Is not designed for a promenade. In order for any person in a row to pass out. every other person In that row hSH got to get up and Ma ml up. flattened ag thmt his or her own seat, and with hi or her belongings clutched in hie or her hand to prevent the destruction of said artlrlrs. It Is s moat tiresome, awkward, and Inconvenient position for anybody to be called upon to asaume. and nobody ex cept a human hog would be selfish enough In ask such a sacrifice of his fellow-creatures. The second point to which I direct my readers' notice Is that at the theater a woman Is encumbered with the following articles a wrap, a fan, a handkerchief, opera glasses, a bag and her hat. Six articles In all, which she hsi to grab up and hold above her head out of danger every time the peregrinating pig makes his pilgrimage to the drink trough. No body short of a sleight of hand performer ran make a lightning grab at all of these different things, and keep them from being torn, broken, or msahed. and the result is that almost every time something Is broken and destroyed, a re sult which Is not atoned for by a grunted apology. Naturally men will deny that they all scale the mountain passes of women' finery at the thester In order to drink. They say they wish to stretch their legs, and thst they get tired and nervous sitting still. I hsve the warmest sym psthy for people with 6t. Vitus dsnce, or any malady that renders it impossible for them to keep quiet, but surely such afflicted Individuals should have enough consideration to always buy end seat where they can get In and out without disturbing the public, or else the thester management should segregate them In some section of the thester wher they can step on each other without worrying anybody else. The truth of the matter is that there Is no earthly excuse, except violent 111 nees, for any man not to sit out a play without annoying every woman In hi vicinity. There Is a law that makes women take off their hsts In the theater, and there vhould be another one to pre vent men from going out between the acts. When a Man Marries By MILES OYERHOLT. Th polyggmlst peered through the ban of his cell, , And the Idle repqrter Implored blm to tell How he eime to wed All the women he met till the thing grew to be a, disease. "Well, the i-eaton," he taLd. "that I grabbed my flrat wlte, And sentenced myself to hard labor for Life Was all brought about by a young lady'i name that appeared on a pack age of cheese." Then be told bow the courtship waa bandied by mail; How he married ber; then bow abe lifted her veil, And the shock th&t he got when be looked at ber face and the subsequent fights that arose. His second offense followed quickly, be said: The girl's name was Mabel, ber hair scarce and red, And her name and address tumbled out of tbe box when he brought home a pair of silk hose. The third one, It seemed, wrote her same in a hat. And be married her, too, so be said, Just for that; And tbe fourth was a girl with a practical mind, for her name waa en graved on a ham. While tbe fifth wrote a verse, which waa pinned on a tie, And tbe sixth one's address was affixed to a pie. Eo be married 'em all, though be couldn't tell why and 'twas then ha closed up like a clam. "There's another one ret; we would know about her Tells us, bow did tbe seventh disaster occur?" And tbe idle reporter with tears In bis eyes besought the poor geezer to talk. At last In a voice that was wrinkled and weak, Tbe much-married sinner decided to speak Of the woman he said was the queea of th pack and be'd back ber to win in a walk. "Her motive and style were decidedly new; The street car wss Jammed; 'twas a quarter past two," He said with a smile on bis husband-like face. "And she sat in tbe seat next to me. Her hatpin waa long. As she dodged in her place, Sbe chiseled her name in the, rim of my face; And that little caper embezzled my heart we were married at quarter past three."