11
glThe ec frrp jyfaga z, i rp a
r
The Meeting of the Seasons By, Nell BHnMey
Round the World in Th irteen Days
Wet or Dry?
Cornlfht, 1911, Ktuoul New AswctoUoe.
TITE BEE. OMAHA, WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBR 27. 1911.
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Bjr GARBET P. 8ERVISS.
In Parts, where th imagination fre
quently burnt with blue flame. Indi
cative, like blue meteor, of Intense
combustion, they are now talking of a
tour of the world by aeroplane. It It
the ideal way' to
go. they aver, and
even more promis
ing In the matter
of romantic adven
ture than Julee
Verne'a circumam
bient night by
held-up trains, lum
bering elephanta
and exploding
steamships. The
aerial route has no
custom houses, no
detours, no wash
cot . bridges, no
delayed connec
tions; and It some
charming person
had to be rescued
enroute It could be
moi easily as well as more theatrically
effected by dropping down out of the
sky, a la Perseus.
" will lie capy," sa. the enthusiasts,
"to make 1.200 kilometers (746 miles) a
day by aeroplane within a few years, and
then we shall go around the world In
less than a month."
' l.ui 745 miles a day Is only about thirty-one
miles an hour, and, even allow
Ing for delays, one may expect that the
A Blow to
: Hy FRANCES L. OARS1DE.
Of recent years women have become so
self-controlled that they now violate tra
dition. They do not take on a they
formerly took on when there was a death
or any other sorrow of any kind, and th
almost Incredible story Is told by Mrs.
Lysender John Appleton that she has
attended seven funerals this year, and
not at one of them was It necessary to
fan .the chief mourner!
"I have fanned mourners all the way
to the cemetery and back so often," she
said, "that I know I have expressed my
sympathy in this way for a distance of
2,000 miles.
"I have soaked enough handkerchief to
cover the Rocky Mountain range and th
tear of sympathy I have shed while tell
ing a woman In sorrow to be resigned and
not scream so loud, would float a battle
ship. "But what do I hear nowT That the
chief mourner need no fanning, no on
to wipe her tear away, positively .refuse
to let friend come in and take eharga
of th house, will accept no pies sent In
In a neighborly spirit of condolation and
Nature Tales
Prof. Wallace Odell, president of th
Tarrytown branch. of th Prevention o
Prevarication association of New York
autoed to Osstnlng to investigate rumo.
that have annoyed th member of th
organization. Stopping at a spring on th estate o
Frank A. Vanderlip at Scarborough, fror.
which George Washington drank, Pres:
dent Odell wan struck with the knowing
ness of a large bullfrog which was dit
porting Itself in the spring. He after
learned that the frog Is the pride of t'.
Vanderlip possession.
' One night recently Mr. Vanderlip i
awakened by the ringing of hi electric
doorbell and was surprised to find a frog
Jumping at th push button. Divining that
something was wrong, Mr. Vanderlip fol
lowed . th frog to hi trout pond and
found all th trout flopping about upon
th grass.
A poacher had placed a bottle filled
with time in th water, having previously
let a lltte water Into the bottle before
corking It tightly. Whan th lime Blacked
It caused an explosion which would have
killed or stunned the fish so that the
poacher could have easily secured them
If th frog had not warned them and
then brought Mr. Vanderlip to th soen.
Prof. Odell was particularly Interested
In th story that V. Everlt Macy of
Brtarcliff manor owns some chickens
that lay duplex eggs eom call them
Siamese. The eggs are Joined together
dumbbell fashion, only th handle Is not
very pronounced. It waa a great relief
to ascertain that th story waa true, only
more so. Bom of th chickens lay a
brace of egg in the morning and give a
' matinee performance.
, Vlalting th extensive chicken plant of
Oeneral Edwin A. McAlpln at Catamount.
Prof. Odell we interested in th experi
ment in mental suggestion which is being
worked upon the chickens. Several pens
are decorated with rubber plant, auto
tire and articel of rubber. The scheme
has worked so well that th hens are
laying egg with rubber shells. Oeneral
MeAlptn will not put the eggs on the
market until the sew hotel that the Mc
f
The Chickens
f w f 'i
By William F. Kirk.
(Copyright, 111, National News Association)
Don't count your chicken before they're hatched,
la the text of a motto old and true.
For many a time la victory snatched
From the hands of others, the bands of you. .
The Giants are counting bo unborn chicks,
Wasting no time In dreaming guff;
They bide their time and they take their tricks
Their chickens are hatching fast enough.
Don't count your chickens before the're hatched
Regardless of the series to come,
When two great ball clubs, splendidly matched,
Will make the wires of the nation hum.
When, the Giants know that the race is o'er .
. And the flag is waring 'neath Coogan's Bluff,
They will count their chickens and not before;
Their chickens axe hatching fast enough.
perfected aeroplane wtll do better than
that. It ought to average fifty miles an
hour, or 1.200 miles a day. Then world
circling by aero might. Indeed, be a most
fascinating sporV Th time; required
would, of course, depend upon th lati
tude of the circle followed. At th equa
tor the circumference of the earth Is
about 25.000 miles. The circumference of
of any circle Is found by multiplying Its
diameter by a. 14. but on a globe like the
earth the diameter of the circle repre
sented by a parallel of latitude varies as
th cosine of the latitude. At latitude A
degree (th equator) the cosine Is 1, and
the diameter In round number 8.000
miles; but at latitude 40 degrees the co
sine is only 0.7S. corresponding to a di
ameter of ,0M miles, which multiplied
by 1.14 gives about 19.000 mile for th
circumference. For latitude f degrees
the cosine U 0.64, making the circum
ference only 16.000 miles, while In latitude
degrees, where the cosine is only 0.1.
the circumference cannot exceed about
12.509 miles.
The latitude of 50 degrees north, pass
ing centrally over Europe, Asia and North
America, would seem to, offer a good
aerial route, with a distance of only M.000
miles to traverse, and at 1,200 miles a Bay
the circuit could be completed In thir
teen days and eight hour.
At present this Is only a dream, but
Jules Verne- romance was also a dream,
and yet he lived to see hi imaginary
eighty day out down one-half by actual
test.
Sympathy
J
talk of all lack of psychlo necessity for
emotion!
"What are we eomtng tot I the day
coming when women will have troubl
with a living husband, or bury a dead
one. without a tear? Is there to be no
Joy left on earth for th friend who
long to take in a plum pie, and hear
all about th affliction.
'Ts this perfect control of the emotions
a peculiarity of thi climate, or 1 it pre
vailing all over the United BtatesT
"Things are indeed coming to a pretty
pass when a woman passes through an
affliction with dry eye and her hat on
straight!"
One on the Jury.
Judge , who 1 now on the supreme
court bench, was, when he first began
the practice of law, a vary blundering
speaker. On one occasion, when he was
trying a case in replevin. Involving the
right of property in a lot of hog, he ad
dressed ihe.Jury a follows; "Gentlemen
of the Jury, -there were Just 'twenty-four
hogs in that drove Just twenty-four, gen
tlemenexactly twice as many as there
are in thi Jury box "Case and Comment.
With Bark On
Alpln family is building in this city Is
pened.
A trained crab owned by Colonel Frank
.a Brandreth of Osslning, gave Prof.
jdell a demonstration of it prowess. The
.rab Is used as a sort of falcon. If you
lease. Whenever Colonel Brandreth goes
n a crabbing expedition he takes the
rab with him. Th crab lure other of
,s species into the crab trap, and Colo.
el Brandreth makes some phenomenal
ntcbes.
.Vhat interested Prof. Odell mor than
.1 was th aviating squirrel on th es--.1
of James Speyer. at Brtarcliff
.nanor. Th squirrel are of the , flying
specie. Ordinarily they ean stretch out
th parchment-like film which 1 between
their for and hind legs by extending
their extremities and sail a distance of
100 yards or so. Since At wood sailed
down the Hudson in Jhis biplane th
squirrels have caught onto th trick of
twisting their tail around like a propeller
and gliding through th- air to any dis
tance without fear of running out of
gasoline or having the babbitt metal In
a working part run hot. New Tork Mall
Odd Fads
Comedy was prohibited as libelous in
Greece In 440 B. C.
In a single night in 1750 Ahmed Shah's
army lost 14,000 men from cold near
Herat while returning from Persia.
Jam Aitken. convicted of arson, was
banged on a gallows sixty feet high a
Portsmouth, N. H., March T, 1777.
The custom of English parents selling
their children to the Irish for slavery waa
forbidden by King Canute in 1020,
In th sever winter in Flanders, Bel
glum, la 146t, fro sen wine distributed
among the people had to be cut with
natcuets.
Are Hatching
J
jViirVA 4Wm!i& wfTYS
ilhiceiplloclko ttlhi2
THE ADVENTURE
H6U.O'. BAKER STREET APARTMENTS
MK. SHEKLOCKO- A BURGLAR HAS
L.a, 7. "r-WOWS. 'N m HOUSE'.
onp i - ."'" '.
Riant "tUJ -0M'-
IP A aUQAIAD
to do this VMirHour DeTEcnorVi
' itmiull rtRVfc
w FHE
I tD
THE LAOT HAS
mo pai itc
pc alarm.
VAtco
come, we
tan tn- -w
HER HUSBAKD S
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1 "NJa , Si i s I v r.i
Jr.yff
I f I 1 W I U 1 L V I IL.r I - isl I
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OF THE UNHINGED
i ITou see NH6teJ l not so faj- I
MY HUSBAND
wears- N0
" Toc'U. BE
UT riMcl
lOOTED THE
TIME , AND
lu
until rn-wiicur
XUHAVP BEEN C
r B NTnk, l A. ( y
MSB' -N.
I So Mff.WFNDCrk-r
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DC
Cepyrlsht. UtiX aUonal Aaaoclauoo.
IVSomlk:
DOOR :: By Gus Mager
1 1 i inc. r-periwr yy i - i i
FuftTwenMOfie, since this odrslaa.
NY DA WATSO. MUST HAVE HAD A WAY
OF ENTERLINCV THE HOUSE TO Do THIS. tr
WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN Mic nnicn
nr CKUADr b c., -. . .
r .
NP HAD TO re, ,
r
iousi THE HtN&tV
t that nrn
YA8, ; 1
J tNtvu it r ec a
KJEJPJ LATH
By James
There's a question agitating the entire
For which, so far, no solution rsn
It has puxzled all the people and has
And may lsst till next election comes
It Isn't reciprocity that's causing all the
Or the fact that lately sugar's very
The unanswerable question that is puxxllng all the boys
Is the query "Are we wet or are
Some days the "dry" are leading and
When a few uncounted wets will toe
Tben the "wets" will get wetter
TlTl they find they lead again by eight or nine.
Now the "drys" are not the gentry wtth
Though the "wets" are sometimes
But unless the factions compromise the
Will resume their saturations on the sly.
If Kentucky were confronted with an Issue of this kind
The result would not be very long in doubt
For the Kentucklans are said to be nearly of one mind
That the question would be settled with a shout.
Please don't gather the impression that the state would all go wet,
If you do I cannot see the reason why.
For I hold a firm opinion and I'll back It with a bet
That the verdict of Kentucky would be (D)rye.
Following
By ELBERT HUBBARD
Tha papers recently had an account
of a woman of goodly birth, beauty and
riches as well, who, on entering an office
and Importuning the loan ot a quarter,
was pitched bodily Into the street. This
woman la now only
in her thirties.
Her eownfall, she
explained, waa ow
ing to htr craze
for following the
races. She has
brought suit against
a firm of book
maker for lio.ooo
that she says she
v l , lost through plac-
II insr hitta with them
Ten year ago her
i to a horse race and,
jt lust for the- fun
of the thing, showed
her how to make
a bet of $6 on a
race. She won. and
at once again in
vested th money. This time sh lot.
But she became filled with the foolish
thought that she would eventually win
out: so she borrowed money; stole money,
hypothecated her Jewelry, and went the
mad, bad, sad way of the gamblers.
She lost her husband, her friends, her
fortune; and when she met to a former
friend and begged the loan of a quarter
she was regarded as a nuisance and
forcibly ejected.
From betting to beggardom is only a
step.
No man can play the races continually
and win. Mathematically, he la bound
to lose at last. John E. Madden, a men
who is on the dead level and who ha
made $1,000,000 out of horse racing, says
that defeat and nothing but defeat
The Manicure Lady
"It team -to m that for a girl which
has just returned from Europe. declared
the Head Barber, "you take a whole lot
of extra holiday."
"I waa to horn with an attack of
neuralgia, George," said th Manicure
Lady. "Th doctor thought for a while
that I would never be abl to talk
again."
"That would have been fierce!" ex
claimed the Head Barber. "I should hate
to think . how awful It would be for a
girl of your year to look forward to on
ot them long. Dummy Tailor existences.
It would be bad enough for you whll
you stay singl, hut think how fierce that
ther malady ' would seem if you hap
pened to get married. Think of a mar
ried woman that can't talk! Oil 01!"
"Men talks more than women." replied
the Manicure Lady. "Men first, barber
second and ladle third place. But as I
was saying about my neuralgia, Georg.
It was sure a fierce ordain to go through.
A the novelist says, for waek I lay
tossing on a bed of pain, but my splen
did nerve finally pulled me through."
"Tour splendid nerve might have pulled
you through," replied the Head Barber.
' How did the family take It?"
"King ot hard, George. Mother and
sister Mayme was a lot put out, of
course, because I help a lot evenings with
th housework, and brother Wilfred Xlt
bad because the pain mad ma kind of
grouchy, and kept m from coming across
with the touches tnat be ha been mak
ing regular on me since I got my in
heritance. "Honest to goodness. George. I guess
th old gent waa about th only sincere
mourner at my bed of pain. H told roe
that it grieved blm more than tongue
could tall to think that I might lose my
vole Tou see. when my voice waa
working good, the way that it always did
around here, and th old gat was get
ting bawled out th way he dervd by
mother, I used to Interrupt by telling
something funny that happened down here
to the shop, and thi war would be over
almost before you knew It. But after
my Jaw got o sore from neuralgia that
I couldn't talk, then, mother knew and
W. McGet.
state of Maine
be found.
tried every brain
around. -
noise
high.
we dry?"
the "wets" sre in despair
the line.
and th "dm" are filled with
care
a longing to be wet.
very, very dry,
"wets" with deep regret
the Races
awaits the man who bets money ; on
horse races.
And of all the fools, the biggest Is tit
man who bets on "a sure thing."
Madden has followed the business for
a quarter of a century, and says: "I
quit betting years ago. and If I ever bet
again it will be because the disease has
gotten th better of my business judg
ment." The bookmaker gets It all he has but
to wait and the whole thing is his.
It is just like a game of stud poker,
where the dealer takes car of all th
nets and gives the first booster an ac
in the hoi. If th boosters do not get
the "live one's" money the dealer will.
He get all th others have, as sure as
death, If they continue to piay.
Do not imagine that all gambling is
done in the cities.
"Man mad the cities. God the country,
but the devil made the small towns."
Hardly a village in America is free front
th scourge.
Gambling means blurrtd vision, weak
muscles, shaky nerves. Loss ot sleep,
lack of physical exercise, irregular meals,
bad air, excitement, form a devil's mo
nopoly of bad things and the end la dls- -grace,
madness, death and the grave.
I am not a member of the Christian
Endeavor society, the Ep worth leaguo,
the Baptist union, the Knights of Co
lumbus or the Society for th Suppres
sion of Vice, and all I say her Is simply
a little plain talk by one business man
to others, with all soft sentiment omitted.
poys. we heed all the brains we have
in our work.
If by ceucentratlon and by cutting out
folly we succeed In a degree, we do well.
But I do not believe w can reasonably
hope for success unless w eliminate the
paatboard proclivities, cut out the ponies
or else follow them with a shovel this
is a cold business proposition!
een her opportunity, and the way.h
was laying down th law to father was
a crime. If ther was anything the' old
gent had did for a year back, all th way
from Joining a fake lodge to singing Tha
Little Black Bull Came Down the Moun
tain' on the front step at a. nv. well,
I would Ilk to know what it was.
"Sometime I feel kind of sorry for tha
old gent at that. When It comes to a
argument with mother, he is always more
won against than winning, and it is get
ting so that the only things mother al
lows him to swallow is things called food
stuffs, so called because they are far dif
ferent from th old gent's former diet. It
seem a kind of sham to me, George, to
see a gent in his declining years being
denied all them llttl comfort and
luxuries which made hi early year S4
rosy.
"But to get back to my neuralgia.
George, I am sure glad that I ain't going
to lose my voice. Home times oven now I
wak up In the hight and think of the
awful pobslblllty of losing my voice."
"Don't stay awake on that account,
kid," said th Head Barber. "Get your
Sleep. Tou're safe."
. l
On the Map
J
By Irwin Thomas.
Gee, but this old town feels fin.
Though it ain't on th main line.
It's on th map for fair right now.
bvery on to us must bow.
Th man who mad th map forgot
To show us even by a dot.
Gee. but it's great, this limelight, "
The county seat Is out of sight.
An aviator, sailing high, ,
Dropped on us from out the sky, '
We got him her and folks do say
They don't expect he'll get away.
But you can't tell about those chap.
Soaring around In leather capa.
Some stay forever where they falL
And other do not fall at all, -They
Ilk a not go sailing by ' "
Cutting caper in th sky.
This on that landed down on us '
Certain raised an awful fuss.
He' greater than th county fatr,
Tbi fellow from th upper air.
On thing ure, we're on the map,
Ail the world knows wber w'r at.