11
THE, BEfii JUNIOR BIRTHDAY BOOK. ,
This is he Day We Cglebrate
Are Blonde Girls
to Disappear?
The King of Hearts
Copyrisht, 191 1. Nattaul Km Aamaatsm.
By JM firinMey
THE BEE: OMAIIA, FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 22, 1911.
j The ee
e
Blonde have a SO per cent better
chance than brunettes to marry." Lady
Briareroft
"Fair girls are Impressionable, tweet
and trusting, and make a stronger appeal
to men.' Dr. W. J. Gomersall.
"I found of English women per cent
of brunette were married: only fiS per cent
Of blondes. The race Is being made dark
by selection. Men marry the dark g iris."
Dr. Beddoe.
"So fond were the Romans of golden
kalr that flatterers called dark women.
In compliment, 'honey colored. "Lucre
tius. "The Greek and the Roman women
bleached their hair; the American, the
European, and the Bouth Pea Island
women do now." Auerbacker.
"There is scarcely an old master or en
Old poet who haa painted or sung a dark
woman. Helen of Troy. Dante's Beatrice.
Milton's Eve. all the madonnas, all the
angels. were blonde." Wlnckelmann.
"Fhakfspeare had but - two ' bMnde
women In all bis plays. The brunette
baa it Inst come Into popular favor. The
brunette today Is more popular than the
blonde Her beauty la superior, more re
fined, more lasting. "Henry T. Finck.
"The blonde type Is doomed In America
She Is parsing away Ilka the snowa in
the) sun's heat, tf she cannot develop
a dark akin to protect herself she must
succumb." Surgeon Major Charles Wood
ruff, U. 8. A.
Gladstone, Adolph de Candoll. Dr.
Bnddoe, Walts, and others show the
blonde type Is passing away In Germany,
Franca and England. In Oermany, one
the home of the type, only 31.8 per cent
are now pure blondes; In Austria, only
19 T per cent.
A student of this subject, writing In the
Chicago Tribune, asserts that In ancient
times the blonde girl had the pick of all
- the princes and knights, while her dark
sister was doing tha best ahe could with
bank clerks and motor car conductors.
In the famous paintings of the old mas
ters there are not ten of women with
black hair. Titian left only one portrait
of a brunette, or at leaat af an open and
admitted brunette. The Romans showed
their preference for tha blonda type by
tha quantity of yellow German hair they
Imported. Tha angels of the old paint
ers axe all blondes. Only tha devil was
painted black.
Dr. Beddoe examined tha first 728
woman of pure type he could find In Eng
land. Of this number, SS9 were brunette
and 867 blonde. Ha holds the theory that
tha English race Is . being darkened in
eolor by selection. Men marry the dark
women. Gladstone, years ago. made the
statement that tha pur blonda type was
dying out.
M. Adolphe da Candolle, a French auth
ority, declares tha blonda type is disap
pearing in that country. In Jarrold, It
la aald of England that aa lata as Henry
VIH'a Una that the predominating type
waa red headed. This Is certainly not the
ease new: In Germany, according to
Waits,, tha pur blonda type which waa
almost universal hi tha middle ages, it
fast dying Out. In Germany, Switseriand,
Belgium and Austria an examination was
recently made of almost U. 000, 000 school
children. The result was that In Bwitser
t land the percentage of pure blonde chll
' dren was only 1X1, In Austria it was 19.79,
and In Germany MS. In some places the
peroentaga of pur brunettes had reached
aa high aa 25. This, be It remembered.
In the very home and cradle of tha blonda
races.
If the yellow-haired, blue-eyed girl is
becoming more scarce and harder to find
every year It would appear to be unques
tionable that In time she will become a
rarity, and as such valued above all other
things.
FRIDAY,
September 22, 1911.
School.
Saunders
.Lothrop
. Fsmam
.Saratoga
Ed-. Rosewater
Lake
..Pacific
Year.
. .1901
. .1908
. .1901
. .1908
. ..1904
. .1905
. .1908
Central 1S9T
Name and Address.
Robert Ady, 418 North Thirty-ninth St.
Richard Armstrong, IMS Spencer St.
Walter Anderson, 3136 Chicago St
Harry Bendorf, 1501 Sprague St
Dorothy Bowman, 3115 South Sixteenth St.
Jesse Brown,. 2422 Burdette St
Margaret Blind. 110S South Ninth St
Ileen Brodkey, 432 South Twenty-fourth St.
Mable Baumwart. 3412 Evans St Druid Hill. . ..' 1902
Marcia E. Chris. 4031 Wirt St Clifton Hill 1902
6elma Chapin, 3111 South Thirteenth St Edw. Rosewater . ..1904
Earl Dumond. 3705 North Eighteenth St Lothrop 1902
Lucile Dennis. 3157 Farnam St High .....194
Richard Duffy, 1018 South Twenty-fifth St. ..... Mason 1896
John Edgeller. 2625 Franklin St Long 1898
Hazel Goodman, 2430 South Fifteenth St. Castellar 1900
Minnie Glvens. 620 North Fourteenth St Caas .....1898
Alice A. Goodson, 117 North Fortieth St Saunders .1902
Ruth Grabbert. 2017 Dorcas St Caatellar 1906
Jessie Johneon, 2209 Clark St Lake 1900
Willie Keholm. 2224 North Thirteenth St. Lake ...... 1901
Hazel Jones, 2508 Vinton St... Vinton ......... 1895
John Lewis. 2814 North Nineteenth Ave ....High ...1894
Harriet C. Llllis, 812 North Forty-second St Saunders ...1906
Vilidie M. Muchllnekl, 42 K St., South Omaha St. Phllomena 1898
John Meyers, 2909 South Twenty-fourth St Vinton ......... 1895
Martha T. Miller, 3325 Parker St.. Franklin .......1897
John Malloy, 225 Francis St Train 18
Hulbert McFarland, 2501 Farnam St Central ..1904
Charlie McCauly, 2417 Poppleton Ave Msaon ... 1902
Walter Preston, 101 South Thirty-fourth St Farnam ........1902
Fred Petsol, 1009 South Sixth St... Pacific 1887
Val Parcell. 2421 Dodge St. Central .1903
Lawrence Roeslter. 2S06 North Twenty-second St. .Lake . . 1898
Marie E. Skow, 2322 North Thirtieth St Howard Kennedy. . 19C0
Elsie J. Schmidt, 316 South Thirty-sixth St Columbian 1900
Sarah Steinberg, 1019 Harney St ..Pacific .........1899
Alta Spear, 1414 Jones St Pacific ...... .,...1898
Lester Shane, 2530 California St High 1898
Loula Smith. 2422 South Twentieth Ave Castellar 1901
Clarence Wells. 223 South Twenty-ninth Ave High : 1895
Lettie M. Wagner, 3502 North Twenty-ninth St Howard Kennedy.. 1896
Frank Zallnsky, 2921 South Twenty-sixth St......Im. Conception. ...1898
A baby's hands hold the heart-strings of the home In which he is always kin?
Loretta's Looking Glass
Held tp to a Man's Df
to I '$ n-fl bl ik?
ill
- " i i i sp sssj i. i - ... ys ! ... ii a. i .1 ip ii i hi .i
f
Judge Barleycorn
BT DAMON aCNTOS. . fd
' Old Judge Barleycorn he presides over the District of Down and Out;
Jurisdiction beyond the Poles, and a little of Hell, I have no doubt.
Maybe the warden's books don't show, but the warden knows that his job
was born
Out of the District of Down and Out and the jurisdiction of Barleycorn.
THE WEEKLY BUMBLE BEE
VOL. 1.
OMAHA. SEPTEMBER 22, 1911.
No. 255.
THE BUMBLE BEE.
A. STINGER Editor
Communications welcomed,
and neither signature nor re
turn postage reu,uird. Ad
ores the i.ditor.
NO BAD MONEY TAKEN.
NO ADS AT ANY FKICE.
'Dead Madame. I suppose you are
not writing for men, but you are beans
read by one of them at least. I have
bean seeing under your attacks on the
faults of (iris. Tou seem to have got
next to the fact for which neither man ,
nor woman is to be blamed or credited
that the man and the woman are each
essential to the other. And if they fail
to harmonize each will suffer the torture
that oomes with unfulfilled possibilities.
Nature or Ood fixed things so. Tou are
just try rig to make stria see that their
double-dealing- hurts their chances tor
self-fulfillment. You must feel pretty
sore when they come back at you as If
you were moved by mere feminine malice.
But keep at it. Soak 'em! Fan 'em!
Roast 'em! Take a tip from Hamlet
when he says he must be cruel only to
be kind. And, when you get tired of
playing missionary to your own sex, light
into us.
'Til bet more than I did at the aviation
meet that you can soak us a few that
will leave us dripping. I can't help but
think it takes a good deal of selt-reatralnt
on your part aometlmas to keep from
putting over a knockout blow for one of
the man. Tou have a cinch on the fact
that a man is a mean to an end in the
develpment of a womn. Tou've got your
, feet set on a piece of the elemental
foundation. Bully for you, I say! May
they never slide off. even if the girls
squirt cold water all over you and make
your footing slippery!"
Mr. Man, you are quite right. My sei
has no appropriation oa the fallings
peculiar to human nature. But let some
male mentor rlae to deliver your , kind
from their particular and aggravated
forms of human nature. I have all more
than I can attend to la acting aa a Joan
of Are for girl. Nice, polite ladlee have
been cautiously calling attention to tha
faults that cheat girls of their rights
without making any very decided change
In the dishonesty and alllineaa with which
girls treat vital Interests which are men
so I opine that a good and vigorous at
tack will be of more service.
No. I don't feel "sore." If did I
should be incapacitated for future use
fulness. The martyr attitude la onu
which I have outgrown. When a spite
ful retaliation cornea to me. I know 1
have hit hard and gone deep. And I be
lieve that I have set the wheels of le
formation In motion. t have a lot of
respect for a girl who has energy enough
to get mad! Tou can count on It, she
haa the energy to do something.
It's these lackadaisical creatures .who
are so smugly indifferent to the deviltry
they praotioe that they never get up
steam enough to resent an accusation
who make me "sore." Thanks for your
good advioe. Theae ladles I shall soak
till they are dissolve! I shall roaat
they till they bound and bounce on the
grill! I shall pan them till they what
Is "panning?" I cannot think what a
terribly "panning" person would do. Rut
whatever it is they should do, I will try
to make them accomplish. If soaking
and roasting and panning Induce the kind
of misery which loves company, I will
begin on the men! And. In the intense
mutual sympathy and understanding
caused by their suffering, I shall have
effected the harmony between men and
girls which is my aim. There are more
ways to make a mule drink than by
drowning him.
BaSBBSBSBS
"Zounds"
'Good morning. Mr. Schneiderpopski,"
exclaimed the god lady of the house es
the new second flosr tck took his place
at the breakfast table.
'3oot mor-r-rnlng. replied the musi
cian, bowing valiantly.
"I am so afraid ;roi ulJn't pass a com
fortable night,' pursued the noatera,
sympathetically. "Can we do ai'ining
for your
Not kooraf citable? Me!"' .xc'tlmed
the long-haired one. "Ach. , I alep'
like se humming bird. I was oil rite.
Joost before I go to bed 1. br-rctle mlt
meln feedle "
"Oh. was that It?" Interposed the hoat
sa with- a look of -Ld relief. "I'm so
pleased. . W thought you were shifting
the bed." Answers
Autauiu.
This is the first day of
Autumn.
The fact is referred to mere
ly as indicating that the cal
endar says summer has gone.
It doesn t make any dufei
ence how you feel about it,
or what your thermometer
says, summer is ended.
And it's nearly time. Talk
about winter linKenng in (he
lap of fcpring'. Nothing like tho
way tiuiimiet- hung on was ever
witnessed in the urinals of the
VVeatbtr bureau and that a
(nine annals. Hummer didn t
commence officially until the
Hist of June, but as a matter
of tact It commenced about
the middle of April and it
stuck on clear up to the I'mit,
and worked a little overtime
at it.
(so we're glad that Autumn
is arrived, burning leaves and
tiagy say. golden sunshine,
glorious atteigiow In the even
ing, mornings that tell of the
the mystery of existence, fool
ball, pumpkin pie, Ak-Bar-ben
and tne general election
are some of the attributes of
Autumn.
And this is the first day of
Autumn.
Economy.
The members of the city
council are surely economical,
no matter what othea may
say. Each meeting night the
janitor puts a nice new box
no matter what others may
man s desk not a stingy
peny box, but one of the real
kind. And when the meeting
is over, each councilman takes
hia box along home with him,
ao that it won't be wasted dur
ing the week. If this isn t real
economy, we'd like to know
what Is. .
OMAHA STIERED UP
Weather Man Wins a
Guess and Canses Great
Excitement.
Much excitement prevailed
in our midst on Wednesday.
Excited groups of men were
seen on the streets and else
where, and the talk was con
tinuous, as each accosted the
other and recounted what he
had noted. In the busy marts
of trade tile rush slackened
while man spoke to man, and
woman to woman, and each
whlapered or shouted the
news.
Something of importance bad
occurred. Only an event of
the utmost general lntsrest
could have so disturbed the
community. The astonishment
of everybody waa evinced, and
yet ail seemed to accept the
condition as inevitable, not
undertaking to ascribe a rea
son, nor to suggest any
method for averting the
eventuality.
The truth waa too apparent
to escape, and so the people
submitted with a sense of fa
tality that left no room for
doubt.
RAI.V FELL.
The weather forecaster had
at last had a guess come true.
Enough water actually fell
from the sky to da4iien the
ground on the surface, and a
base ball name was postponed
on account of It. This fact had
some bearing on the prospects
of the Omaha team for win
ning the Western league pen
nant, and consequently added
to the general excitement of
the day, but only as an in
cident. Rain really fell in Omaha on
Wednesday.
Lather.
The city council having
backed away from it. and the
police court having decided
that the tonic covers the
whole case, lather may now
be mixed in Omaha on Sun
day with Impunity, and water,
and the barbers who do not
care to do It can enjoy watch
ing the other barbera who are
not so particular.
Jauket.
One nice way for the city
council to have settled the
junket row would have been
to send the whole outilt on
the trip. The city woulj le
quite aa well off without is
with them.
Well r
You'll notice that Mayor
Jim's name is conspicuously
absent from the news col
umns that deal with the pro
ceedings of the city coun
cil In these pre-commlssloa
days.
Peeves. -
One might almost reach the
conclusion that Lee Bridges
isn't at all pleaeed at the
thought of Fred Cosgrove
going to Atlanta.
CITY HALL MYSTERY
Bumble Bee Reporter Es
tablishes Identity of
a etraaare Visitor.
A mysterious stranger put in
appearance at the city hall
Thursday.
"Do you not know me?" he
asked of City Clerk Butter.
"Yea, I do not know you."
responded the rotund Daniel,
and he went straight ahead
looking out of the window.
"Alas." sighed the stranger,
"how soon we are forgotten,"
and he strolled down the cor
ridor. "Hello, Fred." he aald,
bursting in a door, "how are
you, and how are ail the
folks?"
"The folks are well, thank
you," answered Comptroller
Cosgrove, "but I do not place
you."
"Sad. sad is my fate," ru
minated the visitor, and he
made hla way to the elevator.
George Ablin paid no attention
to him other than to secure
his request to be taken to the
mayor's office.
"Howdy, Jim," was the
greeting with which he sa
luted the mayor, but a digni
fied, frozen smile was his re
turn. Jim recognized him not.
So he turned and went
down stalra, avoiding the ele
vator, and waa making his
w'ay out of the bulldteig when
the lynx-eyed reporter for The
Bumble Bee saw him.
"Hello," he said, "ain't you
the man who was going; to put
In some public comfort sta
tions in Omaha?"
"I am." said the stranger,
"but no one around here
tenows me now." and he
faded among the crowd on
Farnam atreet.
Poller.
If all the meetings to be held
in the "open school house"
are to be like those at tha
board rooms in suDDort of tha
proposition, maybe It will be
just as well to keep the
cnoois Closed.
Answer.
Purpose Maine had gone dry
by 2 would it have been a
vindication for the eternal
principle of prohlbitloa?
Settled.
At any rate. Mike Harring
ton knows just about where
he stands in the estimation
of Brother Leldy.
Kle.
We'll soon be hearing from
the goose bone and other in.
fallible weather slgna.
Maybe.
Maybe If Fred Cosgrove
nadn t been ao fresh in fir
ing a lot of the Lobeck
patriots out of hia office, he
wouldn't have had so much
trouble In getting the expense
appropriation.
Hellef.
The announcement from
Washington that Governor
AWrlch is not a candidate for
United States senator brought
some relief to Kearney and
H old res e.
Reward.
Our pet little weather maker
has had hla reward. We knew
he would win If be only stuck
to It long enough. .
u aid rvs
OUR POETS' CORNER.
Echoes.
There Is a thing distresses me:
I wonder what aits F. B. T.
The cosy corner where be
chirped.
Like joysome cricket, was
usurped
On Friday last by paltry
prose,
At which my very gorge
arose.
"Tho melancholy days have
come.
The saddest of the year," by
gum!
When mute, inglorious, Milton-like,
This bloomln poet takes a
hike
To some deserted rural lane
Or, mebby, he's some whores
raisin' cane
But The Bumble Bee drones
idly on,
Tho' its ginger and Its sest
are gone
And F. B. T. may have gone
to take a
Fresh supply aboard from far
Jamaica
And this may be the echo of
that scream
Of a joke about our base ball
team. Q. R, O.
Cheer I n.
When you feel as If you're
busting.
And you don't know what to
do.
And your enemies assail you I
Till you're almost cut In two
Then say. "I do not care a
rip i
But III keep stiff my upper ,
lip."
When you feel that you would I
give tne world
To have a friend or two.
And wonder why It was that
you never had one true
Then cut out asking why of
every little thing
Tune up yourself, old fellow.
And Just begin to sing.
When the clouds are awful
black.
And thick aa they can be:
In haste pick up your fountain
pen
And mark them C. O. D.
For the mall box in Inferno
Then you'll be happy try and
see.
eeeverr.
Now I swear by Curio's shiny
Pate.
The story I shall here relate
la strictly true and no to date.
By your leave, I introduce the
villain
A base ball man by name of
no on I en
Got hurt in a wreck and made
a ktllin'.
Don't ask me Just how much
he cot
Of course I could tell, but I'd
rather not
He proved a Johnny on the
SDOt.
Let us go ahead with the tale
a bit;
That afternoon he seemed
oulte fit
I saw him make a three-base
hit, r. B. T.
Old Judge Barleycorn he's severe; Misery bis bailiff, and Woe hla clerk; '
Draws bis Jurors from Fathers' Sins; capable men for tne judge's wor.
Maybe the warden's books don't show, but the warden's wise and t. un
derstands Ninety per cent of bis people coma from the Judge's district and the Judge's
banda.
Who are tha witnesses? Rise and stand! Alcohol, in a dull brocade;
Wine, and Women, and a bad old Song pass to the deck In a sad parade.
Wbo the attorneys? Death for the State; Teara for the prisoner all for
lorn
(No defense from the prisoners' dock goes In the court of Barleycorn!)
3
El
ii
The warden credita them "Judges-Thls," "Judges-Tbat"; however styled.
He knows full well the sentences cam long before the charge was filed.
Blood on their hands and blood In their hearts; haunted by fear and con
science torn
Maybe the warden's books don't show, bat they come from the court of
Barleycorn.
r
Mixed the Texts
J
it is related that a clergyman living
in the suburbs set a tired-looking man
who had applied to him for work digging
potatoes. In an hour or so the went out
and found that the man had uncovered
about two quarts of the tubers.
"Well," said the parson, "you don't
believe in overworking yourself, do you?"
'Oh," replied the laborer, "I work ac
cording to scripture.''
"Where in the Bible csn you find any
thing that Justifies your taking an hour
to dig two quarts of potatoes r
"Why this: 'Let your moderation be
known to all men.' '
The minister thought this rather witty
and he took the man to dinner. The
moderate worker did not prove to be a
moderate eater; in fact, he cleared the
table. I
"You don't seem to eat according to
your text." remarked his host, watching
the viands disappear.
"No." replied the tired man, plying
hia knife and fork faster thao ever. "I
have another text for this: "Whatever
thy hand findeth to do, do it with all
thy might!"
"Humph!" said the clergyman. "My
good man, you've got your two texts
misplaced."
f
Great Salt Mine
3
A mine was discovered In the district
of Le. Pas. Bolivia. In MM), from which
the silver was cut with chisels.
The great salt lake at Obdorsk. Siberia,
is nine miles wide and ssvonteen miles
long, yet except In a few places it i sol
idly roofed over wtih a leposlt of salt,
which is becoming thicker and thkl.er
each year, says the Scientific Anie Usn.
About the middle of the last tntm v salt
crystals first began to gather upon tha
surface of the water. Year by year, tnlrg
to the evaporation of the water, the crya
tals became more and more numeous,
and then caked together until this great
roof was formed. In 1I7S the v.iter be
neath this salt crystal roof found an un
derground outlet into the Obi river. 1 his
lowered the lake's surface about three
feet, leaving that distance oetweea tha
water and the roof, and each year this
distance haa been diminishing by the con
stant addition of salt crystals to the toof.
Many springs surround this lake. Their
wster flows oves the roof and tvaporates
there, and h.. continually adds to Its
thickness. AVr many yea.s the springs
will probably become ci oked wlt'n their
own deposits, and then the whole will te
come covered with earth, so that a great
salt mine will be formed a treasure tor
the Siberians hundreds of years to come.
Gauls in remote times dressed In skins,
tattooed their flesh, drank out of the
skulls of their foes and treated all stran
gers as their natural enemies. Clvlllxa
Uon among them began In HOu.
