OMATTA, MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 11, 1911. "fhe ee'g Jrne Mag'a z i rys p)a r Bleat of the Innocent Bystander Tho BEES (Junior Biphday Bookr ge " ft nnsyi aria Is sending out corps -of j mn to combat the chestnut blight, what ever that Ik, announced the Regular Fel low. "The, chestnut blight you are ' familiar with In th policeman who take a handful and then chases the peddler off the block replied the Innocent Bvstander. "But this Isn't that kind of a chestnut blight at all. ire tne blight that has atruck the. musical comedy and vaudeville stage, that hat made deadly Inroads on the joke books nil has laid Its heaviest curse on the banquet table not the eating part, but the place where the toastmaster get up and says. "Ve have with ua tonight," meaning to blight,-. of course. "A slate commission in one state can t stop the chestnut blight, because It Is nation-wide, world-wide, if you will. You can't escape the chestnut blight, no matter where you eo. There are fifty-seven verle tiea of office chestnuts, and when you try to escape you run Into the man waiting to make a touch an-1 h hands you a chestnut about paying it right back. "There Is the barber shop chestnut and when under the razor even the worm doesn't dare turn. If you Inquire your way to nn address of a passing human being and ask where thin street runs to, like a not ho gives the chestnut that it doesn't run at all, but lies rlslit beneath your feet. Then here are domestic chestnuts, not counting mother-in-law. There1 There's the chestnut Might in its fullest bloom. I couMn't get through talking without hav ing to ring In tha mother-in-law chestnut, nnd there was only one man who didn't tHW. ", r rt E.M TtHm (turn Vt Mira to M Nira food and what do you find? Chestnuts. As of th theater: Well, if there i any place where the chestnut blight la thicker or bllghtlnger! They're still handing out the ones about getting a diamond from a lob ster, what the ashman said to hit horse, why King George wears blue suspenders, we can what we can and what we can't wa tin, caught two trout and one smelt, slipping on the head of the stairs and coming down, and several forests more of them. The comic papers have the ad vantage because they can put all of the chestnuts on aeroplanes and take them up to date." How do they combat the chestnut have to stand for that and he was Adam, .blight?" asked the Regular Fellow, yawn lo went in for apples. ! lng discreetly. "The. newspapers and magazines are ; "With a large club," replied the Innocent undfr the chestnut blight. Sit down at a : Bystander. table, to decorate the interior with some (Copyright, 111. by New York Herald Co.) One Mother's Way of Managing Her Girls When the girls go off to boarding school not because we like It, but because we thia autumn we may be quite sure tha no matter how homesick and lonely the feel, they are not taking the change s badly as the mother that they left be hind them. How, then, does it come about that we meet o many women at thla sea son not rejoicing that their girls have "finished" arid came home for "good." but deploring the- fact because they don't know what to do with them? By way of a beginning a mother of, ex perience suggests that there can be noth ing better than letting the girls do some thing with themselves. Her oldest girl stayed at home, the aecond became a teacher, the third a typist, and the fourth also came to remain home from achool because her eldest alster was to be mar ried. . All these girl were happy In Ihelr various way, and all are closely united to th mother, a woman of happy tempera ment. who, having been her children' 'pre ceptor when, they; vr Jrttl. knw how to become their mrde"asrthey grew older. "It 1 eay enough" with the girl who go to business If only one I able to re strain tha motherly desire to Interfere. I didn't find It easy, for ,1 wanted to guard my chlcka. end., there . were, many things that modern girls say and, do that I disap proved of In every, fiber of my being. I'm an old-fashioned woman, .and vry sorry for th unchaperoned girl. . But I knew that time had changed and T saw also the unreaaonahlcnes of. giving freedom to young brother and curbing elder girl Of course you know wha I mean. Our boy -can do anything and go anywhere aren't Interfere; our girls, even If they ire 40, mustn't accept an Invitation to tea "lthout telling us all about It, and can't save home for a visit without having a use made. "Well, I felt it wasn't fair. Sometimes I didn't like my girls to have certain friends and go to certain places, but I didn't complain. On the other hand. I showed all my Interest and approval In the friends fcnd th way that I dl-d like, and gradually things adjusted themselves. - "Each household should have Its own rules, but I. cannot express too strongly my feeling that before laying them down the Another should discuss these with the daughter of the house and receive her acquiescence. The fact that she has con sented to their making puts the girl on her honor to see them duly carried out. After a time. When she ha gathered some experience, my daughter and I took weekly turn at housekeeping, and the boy quite frequently turned against their mother and agreed that atster' week wa bast. . "Besides all this! my girl needed a o clal training. W read book together and talked about them, and, a It hap pened, .we, golfed together, though natur ally the companion on the link wa oft ener a boy or girl friend." Ttils woman Is considered, fortunate In her daughter, but luck ha really had lit tle to do with It. If other mother whose daughters have come home experiment on similar' line, they would be equally "lucky." (Copyright,1 1911. ' by the N. Y. Herald Co.) What's in a Name? THAT IO-R0OM flPAKTMEtfr I ( STICKER. J CM ' IFT ' AM cHlt-iRFrri,iY it'. TOO BK FOR one MNI4.Y O J tufa? thirteen, pmr THEY'RE LL IN THE CEMETERY. A A s J ISfriFrkC CANT IMAGINE what they want ten Rooms foR, VT THE IMSR" Wii-L HOLD. trf TO IT t 1 WE'VE PtEN ieoMN A I inn i r- nun PARTMtNT - . IS IT TQR USEI YES, IT5 FOK LEASE, HAVE CMILDRSNf A JS '(W 1 LtflbES IT FOR YEAR -rtCW If C (loll A yowii JtST si&N v V SCOTT! THEY WERE PLAYING-IMTMK T I , I MW NOME .jJM&ffllM 1 J L lilt --fYJ-5 f ) "VJM 7 ... , Lorejita's Looking Glass-Held Up to the Girlie in the Bathing Suit JJ WA. Phelon of Cincinnati tell thi tory a an actual happening, the seen being a boxing arana In Milwaukee. 'Th box- er were announced oh ' th bill a Kelly and Mahoney and: the bout brought many Irishmen to the ring side. Kerry . and Connaught men were as numerous aa Germans, who discovered Milwaukee, A th fighter cam on both In green trunk and with Irish flag for belts there wa . mad applause, and eighteen fight war started in the gallery. Tha boy took their corner vlcjous. warlike fellowa, both of them and a typical -old-timer from Gal way made hi way from on of th boxes to the cornaa occupied by .Kelly. ''Many' th lad Ol'v known be the name av Kelly," rroakeS the good old tad. "Folne byea an' g-r-ran' follghers. Kelly, ' ma bouchal. Ol wish y luck. ", Kelly leaned over, the ropes and' shook the old man e hand. "I raucha thanka you. slgnor." said Kelly. "I doa da beat I can. Maybe so I knocka de head off da monk In two, fre round, si. s.lgnor?", Th tad gave ."Kelly" on look of utter horror and blighted , happiness, and than went stumbllngly over to th other corner. "Mahoney." he almost sobbed. . "Mahoney, me bye, what do yes tlnk? Thot felly do be a dago! Kill the Eyetallan. Mahoney. for the sake ay the ould sod'.." Mahoney reached down and pressed the old fellow's paw, reassuringly. "Pon'4 you worry, olt poy." he spoke, soothingly. "Ven I ged him by dose rope mlt. yoa chust vatch me soak him. I vlll from ,hlm de kopf ge-nock In we roundt alretty!" . With a wall of heart-broken agony and despair the tad collapsed. The bell ' rang, and Vgo Michel), known in the ring as Hugo Kelly, and Otto Jung, known tn the ring as Young Mahoney, went' bravely out .to fight a red-hot draw. Cynical Musings When a man haa a clear conscience he doesn't care If people do see through him. Quick Quitting It Isn't every fellow who can fall In love- without fracturing something. A woman I never afraid to tell her age o much a she la afraid some one else wlll.i-Philadelfhla Public Ledger. Blessed is the man who hasn't time to tell hi trouble. Tha only man who can afford to be a sluggard I th one who ha a rich aunt to go to. Qulntus Aemie Lepldus, Roman general. In passing out of his house stubbed his great to against the threshold and ex pired. Thomas Otway. Engllsii poet, in a trv lr.g condition wa given a guinea, with which ha bought a loaf of bread, and died as ha swallowed the first mouthful. You ought not to mind having a mirror held up before you. Tou are gotten up with uch an eye for effect that the ex perience will not disconcert you. But vou will be mad. as mad a tha proverbial hornet when I begin to tell what the mirror shows. But I am going to do It. You cannot have the reflections all ! your way. you know. It la time some on cast one, at least, on you. You have been reflecting discredit on the member of your sex who have a regard for modesty, who Ilk to took like ladle, long enough And a whole lot ' of them resent your flagrant abue of th delicacy which Should characterize a . woman. . Your bathing, suit wa a dram In the hep window. It la an outrage against propriety on the beach; If you could wear any ' less clothing doubtless you would. But you COULDN'T and escape arrett. And th screaming absurdity of your costume strikes any sensible being. Th reason for join Into the great waves is defeated by the stiffness of your whale-bone-and-teel armor. How much exercise can you set with such a muscle squees- ilnir mechanism compressing your anatomy? , It you would deign to wear a little more good In your gown and a little less corset, you might escape a lot of nottc which you may transiMe as flattering. but which Is really derisive. slightly, the contours of the human form divine. And If there 1 any disguising done by your bathing suit, it Is not as sociated with your figur. I have actually known nice girls, girls ho were really refined at heart, to wear clothe which seemed to brand them as tha opposite. And I am not o narrow as to believe that the revelation of your bathing suit necessarily Indicate that you are out on a tour of attention attracting which 1 unflattering t& your womanhood. But there, is - room for question. No one looking at you can. feel at all certain that you are a "nice girl.'" People judge by appearances. And there certainly are plenty of appearances . about you from which to draw a most uncomplimentary conclusion. You loolt ilk a ballet girl turned loose on the beach. No, you look worse that she does on her native stat'e, for distance and footlights and grease-paints do a little bit of illusloning that sand and sunshine cannot achieve. You look crude and coarse and common! Mercy! Isn't It awful to say that right straight out In spelled out words! But It NEEDS to ba said. If a plain-looking girl, dressed sensibly and with no obvious effort to attract at tention, goes into the briny deep, she 1 regarded as a decant ' person taking I perfectly legitimate recreation In a per fectly sane way. But you! The men look at you. and the smile they wear 1 more a neer, a derisive . mental comment virtually expressed, on your vanity and Indelicacy as It 1 one of approval. If you believed In vivisection, and, could look Into one of the heart of men, you would find yourself outside the warm spot kept for ' dearest interests and most beloved things. The women who look, as well as are, ' modest and womanly, decent and refined, have these choice places, not th silly little . girl In Immediate bathing suits, which show that they want attention even If it 1 the wrong kind. Wonderful, but J Early In the legal career of Joseph H. Choate the future ambassador was op posed to a hot-tempered attorney, who. In Why will women deliberately defy th I the heat of argument, shouted impetuously truism that the appeal of suggestion is more subtle and more certain than that of revelation? I do not mean suggestion in any broad or vulgar sense, either. I Just offer the information that physical beauty Is lent a charm by modety that It ne"er has without It. And modesty never goes with an Indecently exposed person. Phe Is the companion of enough gathers and tucks to disguise, at least at his young opponent: " vs hy, I can whip ix like you." Choate looked at the other with profound contempt. "My father owned a bull," he said at length, "that was a wonder to flsht He could lick ail the cattle In tha neighborhood, and he did It, too. But," concluded younj Choate significantly, "he couldn't win a law suit." Ladies' Horn" Journal. f Knocking Ohio J This is &q DayWQ September 11,' 1911. - - K ' , .' JACK Sl'TCUFFE. 3T15 Leavenworth Street. School. Year. 19P2 , .1S9 Name and AddrvM. Ethel M. Adams. 8904 Gold St Windsor Rogena Anderson, 2215 Lake St Lake . Blanche Adkina, 209 South Twenty-fourth St Central Luclle Andrew, 3213 South Twenty-first St Vinton 1902 ' Grant Barnes, 3516 Poppleton Ave ....High 1S94 Iwlng W. Benolken. 122 South Twenty-ninth St. High 194 Helen E. Bloes, 3515 Sherman Are Lothrop 1905 Fred Braasch. 2631 Lake St Long ..1S95 Leslie Burkenroad, 2060 North Nineteenth St. High 1S93 Irene Carey, 1938 South Thirty-fifth St High 1S95 Hazel Chapman. 4109 Corby St .' Clifton Hill 1900 Marvin Chase, 3325 South Twenty-fourth St Vinton 1905 Luclle Clausen. 1138 North Seventeenth St Kellom 1901 Martha Chri6tansen. 2012 California St Central 1&96 Florence Coon. 3901 North Twenty-first St .Lothrop .1900 Lillian R. Dillon. 1109 South Twenty-seventh St Park .'. -.1904 William Donnelly, 2782 South Eleventh St Bancroft .' . .19"2 Ernold C. Falk. 2813 Webster St. .... Webster 1897 Ulna M. Furstenberg, 2520 Rees St Mason .'...1901 Charles M- Garvey. 443 North Thirty-eighth Are Saunders 1905 Edna Graner, 2729 South Twenty-fourth St Vinton 1901 Ludmilla Grleb. 2019 Bancroft St.. St. Joseph.. ..1897 Ruth Goss. 1440 South Eighteenth St Comenius 1905 Herny Hansen, 1923 North Eleventh St Lake . 1900 Paul Hansen. 4304 Patrick Ave Clifton Hill 1898 Frederick O. Haines. 1922 South Twenty-ninth St Park .'. . IS9S Elizabeth Henkel. 5320 Pierce St. Beals 1903 Donald A. Hardin. 1204 North Twenty-fifth St. . . Kellom ..JS96- Frances M. Johnson. 4221 Seward St Walnut Hill ..... .1905 Hazel Johnson, 2540 South Ninth St Bancroft .1899 Mary'a Johnson. 4930 California St High 1895 Paul Kohlmeier. Forty-first and Fort St Central Park 1904 Alfred Kramer,, 1402 South Seventeenth St Comenius ..1901 Mildred Landon, 2215 Spencer 8t Lothrop 1901 Olga Lenser, 2907 South Twenty-first St ( Vinton 1901 Stella Madsen, 5116 North Fortieth St ..Central Park ..1900 George Mann, 2606 Rees St Mason 1904 Henry C. Mlunch, 1619 Center St i..St. Joseph. .. ... ..1898- Ruth Myers,. 1762 South Ninth St High ...... .1895 Mildred M. Nelson. 3117 Taylor St ...Monmouth Park... 104 Albert E. Nuelson, 1329 South Thirty-second St iPark . .4897 Jesse Phlllins, 1806 Ohio St.. . ..vLake ; .V. . . .i. ... . 1901 . Vrt, Plnnns SiH Smith FIftnth St. .....Hleh :...189- Vera G- Renatrom, 4248 Maple St. .". . .'. . ". . .Webster ... ., - lS!f Delia Reis, 1843 North Twenty-first St Lake I9f Andrei Rocco, 4622 CuminS St. Columbian .1?' Lena Rosenthal, 3018 Burdette St. . '. Howard Kennedy. . i" . Katherlne Sesemana. 6002 North Sixteenth St Sherman. . " ' ). Roy Shlveley. 2806 Dodge St. Farnam ;., Alice Stephen!, 5922 North, Twenty-eighth St. . ... Miller Park ..... William Stewart, 408 South Tenth St.'.. Pacific . . .1 Zita M. Sulley, 2620 Parker St Long li, i Jack Sutcliffe, 3715 Leavenworth St Columbjan ..... ,1902 Helen Swanson, 1025 South Eighteenth St Mason 189 Isabel Turkington, 1208 North Twenty-aixth St .High 1895 Donald M. Vesey, 2011 North Twenty-seventh St .Long . . . '. 1896 Clarence Waybrlght. 2917 Douglas St Farnam 1900 Katie Wexelman, 1217 Davenport St.- Cass 1905 Carl Witzeg. 3427 South Thirteenth St Vinton .1898 Queer Quirks of "Literary" Folks The nobl battleship Ohio (teamed Into Quito harbor, one day and anchored along side a British tramp. Presently the the tramp' dingy wa lowered and sailor men rowed out to th battleship. Thoy arrived under the name plate and pain fully spelled out the warrior's handle. All looked puszled. Finally one Britisher tried it aloud. "A 'ho' and a 'haitch' and a 10." " he said softly. "Wot a 'ell of a name for a ship!" It is good luck to find a. horseshoe. Anent th peculiar viw of th Upton Sinclair and the alleged butter-In, one putative poet named Kemp, the following from th Pan rranclco Chronicle will b of Interest to student of the curious quirk of human nature: Andrew Lang says that the reason literary characters are often unhappy In marriage U that theirs is a home Industry and they and their wives see too much of each other. The Carlyles rise to the front a a rueful Instance; the Orote more humorously. "I like Mr. Grote," exclaimed Bydny Smith, "he so ladylike; and I like her, she such a perfect gentleman!" Jenny Und compared th historian to a fin old bust In a corner which on longed to dust. "And," commented Hara. "Mr. Grote dusted him!" More aggressive In defense wa th Bv. R. C. Maturln, who, when In th throe of compoition, would be seen with a red wafer tuck on hl forehead, a sign to hi wife and numerou family that he wa not to be spoken to. That th tome In dustry 1 not, however, th sole cau of conjugal annul I ugget4 by the famous letter of th French wlfa: ' I am writing you becau I do not know what to do, and I am ending my letter because I do not know what to say." The traffic tn kind spch and ocea-: ional lp from th ehallc prepared for other Hp ar potent factor tn th pleas antness of married life. When Ham Jan Huldekoper and his wife added up the am column of figures to see of the, re-, suit would correspond, and they would ' sometime differ, he would si ways say: "Dear, I must have made a mistake." Less tact wa shown by th autograph collector who, perceiving that the house wa on' fire, scrambled out of bed crying to hi wife: "You save th children and I will save the autographs." Obviously," If an Im portant thing Is to be done, one should do It on' self. i Wordsworth, nn on occasion, when talk. ' lng to his wife, referred to a time when, "a you Irnow, I was better looking." "But, ray dear." replied she, "you were always very ugly." Lady Dcr on her eighty-third birthday WTOt to her granddaughter; "I do assure you that If I had .been a lovely young bride striking 19, more affectionate and gratifying speeches could not have flown from my bridegroom's Up of 23. I am so little worthy of It.. It belongs to his na ture; I have nothing to do with it," a de lightful Instance of the dormant qualities which core out In elemental partnerships. Win . ... A family tre doesn't alwav bear fruit of a man's industry. th The great trouble with our running pens is that they ar such sprinter. Th man who Is forced to swallow his pride should see that it Is predigeted. Don't ba a mall potte If you want to get to the top of th heap. Clock are wiser than some men. They step to rest when they feel run down. W should all be Impervious to gossip. Even a good book Is talked about behind It back. Th fact that beauty is only skin deep shouldn't Influence a woman to b hal lowPhiladelphia Public Ledter. X reasonable amount of egotism I good for a rasn. It keeps him from brooding over- bis neighbor's succm How Do They Do It? MOW LlS)Tti1. POM'T TALK BACK TO ME! NO MAN EVER DID THAT AND LIVED THff SIZE OF YOO HUH! A POLICEMAN DON T ArOWfcK MC. SACK.: I'M MAKU! WELL, DON'T LET IT HAPPEN AOAIN! I COULD EAT UP ArjOUT A DOZtH JANITORS UJ YOU mc-n bY ri&INQr TWO MLN0TE5 LATE FOR. SUPPER, f 1 Inqw You'll EAT " I NEVER. KEEP ME lvVAITINQ- AQAINI ll i rv u a lj ' a -L M I -xJ jruKr ; 1 " 1 . a , - , , , r-r - 1 m- ' - -1 imm -mmm---' ss- " " .-ss "l r Was Willing to Pay ) Th Rt Rv. Bishop of Delawar tell th following tory: "A young man came to me on day and aid: Bishop, I want you to marry m on nt Wednesday.1 " 'All right, young man; Ml marry you.' I assured him. " Well, I want th bell to ling,' ha con tinued. ' 1 "'Very well, you , can have trie' bn rung." . ' Well, I want the organ te play.' " 'AH right; you can have th organ played.' " "And I m-ant everything la that any body ver had at 'a church wedding.' " Certainly; you shall have it.' "Wall, the night cam, th ball rang, the organ played, the church wa crowded and everything went off as the young man wanted It. When th ceremony was over the young couple waited. Instead of leav ing the chancel. Eo I held out my hand, shook hands with th brld and then held out my hand to the bridegroom ' He had hi hand deep In his trousers pocket, and aa I stood with my hand out he said, oma. what Impatiently and in a tone that could be heard all over th .church: . .. " 'Now,'-don't be In suoh aa all-fired hurry, bishop;. I'm getting the money ,oui Just a fast as -I. cart.' ... " And everybody in th church giggled '' Housekeeper. ' .-...'. a