fHE BEE: OMAHA. WEIOTSDAY, SEPTEMBER 6. 1911.
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Hiq BEE3 oiumor HipUicl&y Sook
How to Train a Wife
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Tlicro l no JAy of life which diminishes
moie sttndlly and relentlessly than that
which up to the age of Jo In wftmui and
rThapa .7) In rr.an, accompanies th eele
biation of a birthday.
Tho Confirmed Commuter could recall a
time in the first years of hia marrian
when the Hopeful Housewife had chattered
antlcipatlr.gly of the celebration of her
r.atal day for weeks before It hirPned.
And the moment It wan over had begun to
speculate as to what sovt of present rhe
would get the next year. But all this wa
In the rusty and ereaklnR past.
Now tha Commuter learned to recognize
the approach of what hail become a som
ber solstice of existence only by the gentle
melancholy which suddenly pervaded bis
wife's manner, and It waa a matter of
floury n him whethr he might acquire
more irlerlt by celebrating the Inauspicious
occasion with the customary offering or by
forgetting It altogether.
He did not feci himself superior to hla
wife's dread of the relentless years, but he
had had the good fortune to be born on
Christmas day. so that in his own ease
the spirit of holiday cheer always miti
gates the birthday gloom and grouchy old
Father Time surrendered to loeund Santa
Cleus.
On the mornlnar of his wife's birthday
the Commuter was still debating whether
he should Ignore the event or signalize It
And a glance at his wife, who was en
gaged In that most mournful of feminine
occupations the search for gray hairs did
not help him to a solution.
"What are you looking for?" he asked,
as he glanced deprecatinly toward the
dejected young person before the mirror
"For gray hairs." his 'wife answered.'
with th.? usual frankness of despair, ''for
. gray hairs and wrinkles."
'.'Then you'll have to Me f.tr Into the fu
ture, " replied the Commuter gallantly.
"You haven't either, ajid won't have for
twenty years."
"Oh. yes. I will," she replied, with dis.
ma assurance. And then after a slight
pause, added scpulchrally, "Do you know
that I'm 30 years old today?"
"Why, of course, I know it," ths Com.
muter answered, "but only because you
say so. No one would believe It other
wise," he added with exceptional tact.
"You lust oueht to see what I've arot In
my desk for you."
Ha did not say that she would have to
possess phenomenal clairvoyance If she
ddld sea It, as the gift was still unpurchased
and even unchosan.
The onca Hopeful Housewife brightened
visibly under the prospect of the still mys
terious gift and after the Commuter bad
gone she spent several profitable hours in
speculation as to Its character.
But after that tha stroke of thirty re
sumed it monotonous knell, sounding not
only tha hours, but tha halves and tha
quarters.
"WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOB?" H
ASKED.
What was the use of pretending to be
cheerful? Her eyes might be bright, her
skin flawless but she was 30 years old.
Meantime the Commuter remembered his
wife's woe and pondered the subject Of a
suitable present to be purchased during
his lunch hour. It was while a man was
discoursing to him on the president's
veto of tha wool tariff bill that the great
Idea struck him.
Tha most acceptable present for
woman of 3ft he decided must be the on
which time and common sense proclaimed
must be altogether unsuitable.
"I would like to purchase a birthday
present for a girl 1 years old," he an
nounced to the blonde person behind th
cotmter.
And a few hours later he rushed, bundle
laden, but happy Into hi suburban home.
And here follows what his wife found:
Five pounds of chocolate.
Six pairs of red silk stockings.
One vary fancy opera glass.
On pair slippers -with rhinestone buck
las. On morocco bound diary.
Tha unfolding of every package sat a
new light burning In his wife's eyes.
She did not eat chocolates she thought
red silk stockings "sporty" she didn't ears
for opera and the fancy slippers were
several sizes too small.
Nevertheless ah beamed rapturously at
tha Commuter.
"They're perfectly lovely," she said.
"They're lust what I wanted when I was
1. Why. they make ma feel as if I wer
16 now."
"Well, why not?" asked the Commuter
coldly. ;You look like is."
The Commuter 1 now a vary popular
personage In his Mountalnvllle hotn.
(Copyright, 1MI. by tha N. Y. Herald Co.)
Vs
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The Merits of the Separate Waist
NEW YORK. Sept. . A book could ba
written on tha merits of tha separata waist,
were it necessary, but every woman knows
tha value of this most generally service
able garment. Never were styles mora
f svorabla to tha amateur modiste. Why,
Dame Fashion seems to actually play Into
her hands In respect to tha simplicity of tha
styles, the practicality of combining sev
eral' choice left-over materials and tba
scantness of dress pattern. Tha success af
the separata walat Ilea In the correctness
of tha tight-fitting lining as much aa in
tha combination of stuffs and tha final
embellishment. Therefore. O amateur! do
"not slight the fitted lining. It is half the
battle, the rest is "ded ezy."
Allover lace or embroidery or novelty
neta. as well as tha exquisite diaphanous
.liffs that need loose folds to show their
- beauty, are easily handled over the fitted
lining. Pleasant blouses are still in favor,
though on the wane, and surplice effects
back and front are vary desirable. One
sided effect, even to the use of two dif
ferent materials, and one-sided Jabots ob
tain. Marl Antoinette fichu In every con
ceivable else and arrangement disappear
Into high girdles. But these fichus are
usually of gausy materials and cut so that
th folds will not make the figure look
bunchy.
Nothing could be more graceful for after
noon or evening wear than the design 11
ljetrated above. It was developed of
black and white stripe messallne, elabor
ately trimmed with point da Venise lace.
The tight fitted linings upon which fancy
builds the "creation" or "confection" Is
newest in changeable taffeta or novelty
striped taffeta. Lustrous satins are lovelyT
gleaming through silk tissue, and royal
brocades are rich and elegant shimmering
under game. Some extravagant models
even show the underwglsta hand painted
in bunches of wistaria or pink and blue
hydrenglaa.
An Innovation In cut ts the high-necked
waist. Only the actual standing collar ts
made of transparent white Of cream filat
or shadow lace.
rig ravers and cuffs and deep girdles arc
SUll popular, and buttons of tha same make
an exceedingly good finish. It Is predicted
by the wise virgins that only the foolish
virgin will cling longer to the short waist,
but it Is such a becoming style it will die
hard. The clever needle woman will be
surprised at the success she can make of a
separate waist evolved entirely out of many
odds and ends of different kinds of net and
lace. Cut the oertilouse of fine figured
net and before sewing any of Us seams,
cover It with en Impromptu ornamentation.
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Cwtnj. IS1I. fci fart f-ntaf TfM (Ktw Ytrt HvaM Ui. J lWs I must
I ttPtCl YODP WORK
IS PTrr P"XCt6Ro5.
I HvE H6PE N C
ClPtm iNSlRflNCe
INe TO &ORC
ME !
7f Tfw Ji ONE OF Ovr?
i Thought he D
BeirlK TO HON
P0N lRtlTY
seen
AM? AS HE
passer-rue
StCOWP STORV
YCS.tM rt
JJANiiCR OF
LCSINCr N RM
.ICrMT NOvy .
ommnY
MPtLY
FELL OUT 1
1 THIRTEENTH
ST0Rf OF A
PUILPINGr -
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27,7.'.r:'.'''.. . hJk
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MTLDBED B. WOHLFORD.
28i3 South Thirty-third Street.
Loretta's Looking Glass-Held Up to the Spender
lids is &Q
DayWe
September 6, 1911.
Nam and Address. School. Vear
Fried Adler, 2201 Burdett St Lake- 1900
Sra Adler. 2201 Burden St Lake 1891
John Barcek, 2521 South Twenty-sixth St Cwtellar 1S95
Paul Bel6yed 1849 Vinton St Vinton 1900
Lester Benda, 1007 South Nineteenth St Leavenworth 1S97
Roee Bolamrerti, 1115 South 6eventh St Pacific 1901
Glen Boring, 1515 Dorcaa St Caatellar 1896
Sam Boewltz. 720 North Eighteenth St Cass 1894
Jamea Bovel, S907 Wirt St Clifton Hill 1905
Josephine Briggs, 1119 Ca6tellar St Bancroft 1900
Elmer Carlson. 2228 Ohio St Lake 1905
John N. Clendeman. 316 North Twentieth St Central 190 4
Cheater J. Clifton, Fort Omaha. Miller Park: 1903
Blanche Coon, 3901 North Eighteenth St Lothrop 1903
Charleg Colombo, 19 Pierce St Pacific 1S99
George Firth, 1735 South Eighteenth St .Comentu 1904
Effie Friedman, 2010 North Twentieth St Lake 1900
William Fuller. 2019 Center St.' Caatellar 1895
Sara Goldenberg, 1217 Dodge St Caas 1905
Ellen Greenberg, 1462 South Thirteenth St Lincoln 1898
Edward Hathoot, 1408 South Twelfth St Pacific 1905
Sidney H. Hirechman, 4528 Cuming St Walnut Hill 1896
Myrtle Hofmann, 1807 Lincoln Ave Castellar .1961
Wilbur J. Hoge, 2419 Parker St Long ; 1900
Joe E- Holman, 3123 Burdette St , Howard Kennedy .. 1903
Margarette Hornlg, 2787 South Ninth St Bancroft ...1900
Elizabeth Hornlg. 1601 Frederick St Castellar . . .' 1905
Donald Howe, 1053 Georgia Ave .High 1893
Ruth Howe, 1236 South Fifteenth St Comenlus 1905
i Edward Howell, 4018 Izard St Saunders 1904
Agnes Hurds. 1903 South Fifth St Train . 1904
Robert Isitt, 2825 California St Webster 1900
John Jackson. 3324 South Twentieth Ave Vinton . 1902
Lolve Kessler, 2210 South Twentieth St Castellar 1899
Dennie Klrkland. 1914 South Eleventh St Lincoln 1S94
Edward F. Kock, 1409 Bancroft St German Lutheran. ..1899
Benjamin Kohn, 1215 North Twenty-flrat St 1. .Kellom 1895
William Lindley, 404 Center St , Train 1905
Arthur E. Mertens. 3302 Myrtle St Franklin 1902
Arthur Nelaen, Fourth and Haskell Sts Bancroft . 1901
Frances, E. Nelsen, 3828 Hamilton S Walnut Hill 1905
Antonio Nelson, 842 South Twenty-fourth St Mason ,...1903
Leroy Peabody, 2227 Miami St Lake 1900
Harrla R. Plnkerton. Apartment 6, Barnard Park 1905
Jenny Pollto. 1214 South Twelfth St Pacific 1903
Robert Puryear, 1903 South Nineteenth St. Comenlua 1896
Helen Rady. 1110 Izard St... Holy Family 1899
Albert Rice, 2116 Chicago St Central 1903
Marie Rokusek, Twenty-eighth and Frnam Sts Farnam 1904
Dellocine Rushing. 2222 Cuming St Kellom 1905
iRoscoe C. Sanders. 1407 North Fortieth St wainui urn
Madeline Schaefer. 1921 South Eighteenth St at. josepn ijui
rharies z. srMs. 1725 South Fourteenth St Comenlua 1901
Frances M. Sbeppsrd. 1519 North Eighteenth St Holy Family 1902
Hyman Singer. 1431 North Eighteenth si
Harold Sundell. 234 5 South Thirty-fourth St
Carl J. G. Swanson, 1027 South Twenty-second St
Arthur Toy. 1443 Phelps St
Gertrude M. Waal, 3502 Jones St
John Walker '3216 Bedford Ave
Mayward West 2215 Seward St
Kellom 1901
Windsor 1901
.Mason 1903
. Edw. Rosewater . . .1900
.Columbian 1899
.Howard Kennedy. .1899
.Kellom 1905
. . m. MA. T I 1 TT 1 DAI
Francis J Williams, 809 North seventeentn bi r.uwjr
Mildred B. Wohlford, 2322 South Thirty-third St Windsor .1901
Animal Toilets
J
Mast animals sre by nature cleanly and
each ha Its own peculiar way of keep
lug so
The cat carries Us clothes brush In US
moutft. tor with its rougfc tongue tt
clevises its glossy coat as a boy brushes
off his clothes. It licks on of Its front
paws and rubs it over Its face, and it is
ready for its breakfast.
Foxes, dogs and wolves da not us their
mouth when they need to wash and
brush, but scratch themselves vigorously
with their hind raws, and are as' fresh a
ever.
The raw, with her long, rough tongue,
comb her ceat of hair until It Is clean
and curly. The horse more then any
other animal, depends on his owner to
keep bis coat In proper condition, but eften
he will roll en the green grass or rub him
self down sgatnst a tree or fence.
Field mice comb their hair with their
bind less, and tha fur seal In a similar
manner spends much time as a woman
In making Itself look smart
Hospital Interne Are you in pain, my
man?
Patient (irritably) Aw, I'm in bed an'
tha pain seems ter be in me. Judge.
I ought te call you the spendress, I
reckon. At any rata what you are la the
woman who just has to buy what pleases
her fancy.
A man with a wife of your brand tells
this:
"My wife and I war out walking when
th bat of tha man in front of us blew off
and struck her eye, costing me tio for dec
tor's bill. But that was nothing! A hat
In a milliner's window struck her aye and
that cost me !"
That Is all anything needs to do to
strike your eye. Whatever It is seems to
make such a wound that It can only ba
cured by possessing the thing that hits.
So you buy it.
It la Just as much an intemperance with
you getting drunk la with a man. And
It is even mora expensive.
One Tnan lives who trembles when his
wife goes "to the store." She is the most
unfashionable of people, and she has about
as much Idea of tha value of materials as
a moth has of the furs on which it feasts.
But how she spends! She wants to buy
everything she sees. She has tha spending
mania. And. In her semi-final shopping
expedition, she gets more trash and spends
mora money than would equip a rummage
sale and supply the materials for tba fam
ily wardrobe for a year.
It's tha spender's madness. And It bale,
ful effect is tha best argument to father
and mothers to follow th allowance plan
o that their daughters msy grow up with
a sensible idea of tha relative values of
what they want and what it costs In hard,
cold cash.
Tou are the waman who resents the
bank' Information that your account is
overdrawn when there are still a lot of
checks In the check book thy gave you.
And. worse yet. you are one of the
danger signs that warn men off from mar
riage. Tou think a man's a brute if ha
asks you what you did with the last
money he gave you. You trunk ha is a
close-fisted miserly thing. But be knows
you. He also knows his own earning
capacity. Ad ha realises tba discrepancy
between the two.
Soma one asked your husband how much
money he would like td have. And he
replied Instantly, "As much as my wife
could spend."
It sounded well. The listeners might
have though that he cared for gold only
to gild your pathway through life. But
tba meaning was deeper. He knew that
his wish incorporated tha fortunes of the
richest man In the world and several of
his monetary neighbors.
It is not a correct estimate of tha value
of money that makes us tha money-mad
nation of the world. It's, the spending
mania. And women are tha ones who give
us tha bad name.
Tes, they are. There are not more than
a half a dozen expensive luxuries which
are not designed for women. And It la the
luxuries that the spender wants and geta!
The idea of a girl, who has Just married
a man who makes tlOO dollars a month,
getting her eye struck with a J26 hat and
then getting the hat. Of course, you can
say the man's a silly one. Ha finds it
out when you keep getting your eyes
Struck! It is no marvel that other unmar
ried men watching bim pay the bills,
conclude that marriage Is too much of a
luxury for them to risk. I know a lot of
nice girls who ought to be married the
sensib.e kind who are no spenders and It
makes me cross to have you scaring the
thoughtful men out of asking them.
Hollerin
J
Robert W. Chambers, the novelist, was
discussing a new volume of poetry.
"It Is ambitious." he said, "but tha trag
edy seems to me to be mechanical. In
fact, the grief in these verses reminds me
of the grief of a Tennesse mountain
woman. . '
"She was eating pigs' feet one day at
the door of her cabin, when a neighbor
came to tell her bad news. Her husband
had got In a fight at the Three Corners
tsvern. s ball had lodged In his lung, and
he had died Instantly.
The woman, a Pit's foot bald midway
to her mouth, listened to this harrowing
tall in profound silence. Then, falling to
her pig's foot vigorously again, she said:
" 'Walt till I finish this pig s trotter, an'
ye'll hear some riollerln" aa is hollerln'.' "
New York Tribune.
Brief Marriages
J
. Apart from polygamy and ooncubinag
there ext&ts in Moslem countries, e&peci
i 1 . - in Persia, certain strange marriages,
by which a man can get a wife for a short,
del n.to period of time, say, a month or
two This is performed In the presence of
a cadi (judge). A um of money is deposited
for the temporary wife, to be taken away
after the expiration of the fixed conjugal
term. This is considered quite a legal
ceremony and corresponds to the Spanish
casado de media carta. It Is called In
Turkish "kabln." London Mail.
Swift Bonus Ho?.
Teacher Now, Johnny, suppose I should
borrow $100 from your father and ahould
pay him S10 a month for ten months, how
much would I then owa( him?
Johnny About tt Interest.'-Boston Tran
script.
r
World's Fur Market
. .h. ,.t annual fur sale in London
tiger skins were not in much demand. Of
eighty-two skins offered only three were
sold.
T.r,.. nvins met with almost no ievor.
marten, and fox skins remained unsold and
only 1,500 mink skirm out or l3.i louno
buvers.
Only .2 chinchilla skina were offered,
but as the supply is steadily decreasing tha
demand was good and high prices were
realized.
Only sixty-one Falkland island seal skins
were offered; they sold readily. Lobos
Island fur seal skins. 2.99T. the first offered
in a' little over two years, brought high
prices.
About 10.000 sable skins are marketed
each winter In Nleolaevsk. Siberia, at 110
to $60 each. The number, however. Is de
creasing, but it is difficult to say whether
from animals being exterminated or from
the failure of the hunters to slay them.
The hunting of sables is entirely by na
tives. During a good season about 1.000 red fox
skins at an average of U to Ift each are
sold in the ssme city of Siberia. Tha black
fox is scarce, about ten skins being ob
tained annually, bringing $100 te $250 each.
Bear skins are plentiful, but owing te the
religion of the natives the heads and claws
are always removed, and consequently the
hides are of little value, selling for $7 60
to $10 each. Fur News.
r
Wise Maxims
J
A lie bath no feet.
Old young and eld long.
Short pleasure, long lament.
Fat paunches make lean pates.
Praise tha aca, but keep en land.
Of little meddling comes great ease.
Honor and ease are seldom bedfellows.
A nod
fool.
for a wise man and a red ter a
We must live by the quick and not by tha
dead.
Thy secret is thy prisoner; If thou let It
go thou art a prisoner to it.
Some Severe Storms
The District Visitor (making herself
agreeable) Does your husband drink. Mrs
Mason ?
Mrs. Mason No, mum; does yours? The
Tatler.
I NOT vert A
j
' CI
WOULD LI KB SOre
COUP TCiero BoU-toM
1 CLACiS. SOAST ftttrnttriBt
I Should Say Not I
l wH)T WlLL
ViOO HAVf4 I IKftiT
YOU
5
1 S I
riAM SAND-A S. 1 A 7
I may i Hwe cz r i should 1
A tornado raged In
destroyed 1,600 housea.
London la aad
A dreadful hurricane that visited Havana.
October 25, 1768, wrecked iXi& dwellings and
killed 1.000 inhabitants
In the mountains of Sweden In 1719. T.Ooo
Swedes who were marching . to attack
Dronthetm perished in a snowstorm.
Tha mast violent storm that ever ravaged
In England occurred November t and 27.
1708. Th loss In London alone was $10.000..
000. Eight thousand people were drowned
In the floods. Twelve warships, with mora
than l.SOO men on board, were lost. Trees
were uprooted 1.700 of them in Kent Eddy
stone lighthouse was destroyed, and Wln
stanley. It contriver, was killed with sev
eral others .
Harvester-Plow.
J. F. fcothwell, a farmer living near
Clinton, Minn., ha perfected a unique ar
rangement by which he attaches his b'.ader
te tha steam plow and 1 successfully plow
ing all of his Una st the same time he is
reaping his lflli grain. Twenty-five ares
a day are harvested and plowed with the
combined machinery. He simply perfected
an arrangement for hitching hi binder on
to th left side of bis steam plow. Other
farmers in the vicinity are making ar
rangements te copy the dual plawlng and
cutting idea.
Surely the equity of providence has bal
anced peculiar sufferings with peculiar tn
Joyments. Johno'
I
