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BEES Junior Birthday Book
How to Train a Wife
'Next thing I buy for the house will be
a new wt of dlahes," said the Hopeful
Housewife one evening.
The Confirmed Commuter made no reply,
though he realised that his wife's remark
was the beginning of the end that It waa.
In fact. Just a, diplomatic announcement of
her decision that some new china muat be
had at once and that aha would be pleased
to receive the money for It.
For a week or more ahe contented her.
aelf with reading aloud all the glowing ad
vertisement! of china bargains ahe could
dlacover In the evening papers and of be
ginning every other sentence with "when
I go to town to buy the new china," or "I
wonder whether that china closet 'will be
big enough to hold my new dUhes?"
At the end of that time the Confirmed
Commuter capitulated.
"Why don't yot) go Into town with me
tomorrow and buy It?" he asked.
The light of victory flamed for a moment
In his wife's eyes.
"Why I'd Just love to go tomorrow!"
she giggled delightedly, at the same time
casting about In her mind for the hidden
reason of hla amiable yielding.
There waa a long, significant silence.
"How much money do you want?" asked
the Commuter finally. "But before you
tell ma I want you to understand that 1
won't spend a cent more than $26 on
dishes," he added quickly. "Will $25 be
enough?"
"Oh, I don't know, dear; It ahould have j
some gold on It and gold la so expensive
Slid"
"Well!" repeated the Commuter, "how
much will be enough but no matter what
you think, 125 Is my limit." s
There was another long, significant
pause.
Suddenly she smiled her moat Ingratiating
smile.
."I do wish you would come with me,"
she said. "You have such wonderful taste
In auch things, and I'm almost afraid to
pick out anything without your advice."
"Huh!" exclaimed the Commuter, gruffly.
"I'm no china expert."
"Yes you are!" she replied, flatteringly.
"I've never known a man who had such
Infallible Judgment aa to what Is really
beautiful!"
"You say that because I picked you out."
observed the gratified Commuter, purring
under the gentle stroking of flattery, "but
I don't mind taking an earlier train and
going with you. I gueaa t'd better go along
anyhow to keep you from spending too
Loretta's Looking Glass e,d Vp !rl vho "
You are one of the numerous summer
girls. It's a plaint of yours that there are
so many more of you than of summer man.
After a somewhat careful observation of
t you at the beach I am Inclined to wonder
that there are any summer men, even the
.underahod oollegiana or the overdressed
floorwalkers.
Yes, I am dlBgusted with you, absolutely
and thoroughly. I tell you, a lady's a lady
whether she's upside down with her head
stewing in an African hot-pot or right side
up 'and bouncing in the billows. And, if
you cannot manage to preserve your lady
ship In a bathing suit, there Is something
fundamentally wrong with your brand of
ladyhood.
No, I'm not a crank or a prude. I am
Just a woman with sense enough to see
that every time one of us sheda the In
describable and lovely garment of reserve
and delicacy we lop off a limb of our own
life-tree.
Men hate coarseness In a woman. And
I frankly own that I esteem a consideration
of what the best men like as a deep and
worthy study for any woman. Just as I
regard the ways and means of pleasing a
good woman as splendid exercise for men.
I don't know how to say It plainer than I
have, but, at least, I can repeat It another
way: You cannot beat the courtesan at
her own game. She wins the poor, tawdry
rewards, a coin as worthless as what she
gives But you girls ean win by playing
your own game, and the good cards are
your refinement, your appeal to the best
of man and your Inspiration to his ideals.
and, consequently, his efforts for the worth
while things.
But Just listen to me when I tell you that
you cannot parade about on a sandy beach,
obviously courting physical Inspection, and
succeed In making the men who see you
Ancient Methods of
Anent the raging Wlley-MoCabe argu
ment, someone has dug up the following In
teresting account of old Oerman methods
of enforcing pure food laws:
In Nuremberg everything was officially
Inspected and the penalties were such that
records of second offenses do not exist.
In 1444 one man was burned alive, using as
the fuel his adulterated saffron. To make
the nonadulteration of saffron more effec
tive, the following year two men and one
woman were burned alive with their adul
terated products.' Whether this was "mak
ing the punishment fit the crime" may be
questioned, but It oertalnly attained the
desired object of preventing a eecond of
fense by the parties Involved.
In Augsburg offending bakers, short
weight or Impure flour, were put Into a
casket, hung on a long pols and ducked Into
s muddy pool. No- special attempt was
ade to have the mud especially soft, and
the final result was generally fatal; at
least no record shows that any baker was
punished a second time. When la doubt
as to the exact person guilty of the offense,
the whole family. Including employee, were
ducked.
At Blerberich on the Rhine in 14S1 a sus
pected falsifier of wine waa made to drink
six quarts of his own wine, and as he died
from the effects, the adulteration was con
sidered proven. The time limit of the drink
ing waa a very short one; from the meager
description of the proceedings I would
Judge not much over a minute or two.
In many other localities during the middle
'I'VE NEVER KNOWN A MAN WHO
HAD SUCH INFALLIBLE JUDG
MENT." much money." ,
So morning found them In one of the
largest and most expensive china shops In
New York.
'Dinner set, sir 7 Yea, sir," murmured
the salesman. "We have them from $19.6
to $600. Something about $19.50, sir?" he
added with colossal lack of tact.
The Hopeful Housewife dropped under
the tacit assumption of their financial
l.mltations, but the Commuter fairly
bristled, and, withering the unfortunate
salesman with a glance, he said, In frigid
accents: "I want something that pleases
me! Show your china, and when I see any
thing that suits me you can tell me the
price!"
The salesman subsided, the Hopeful
Housewife beamed.
At the end of a quarter of an hour she,
gating In hopeless rapture at an obviously
expensive dinner set, was thus Interrupted
by her lord:
"You like that? Well, take It! How much
shall I make out a check for?" he added,
as If by sfterthought, to the salesman.
"Ninety-five dollars, sir!"
Undaunted, the Commuter drew forth his
oheck book.
''But, dear" protested the aghast
Housewife.
"But what?" said the Commuter, aggres
sively, as he wrote the check. "Isn't It
good enough? Why, I think It's quite a
nice little set for so little money!" ,
(Copyright, 1911. by the N. Y. Herald Co.)
J
believe. in your delicacy and refinement.
Oht I am not counseling you to wear a
long cloak from beach to bathing nouse!
I am merely observing that lying around
vi tm sand in attli'.Uj that are anything
but modest, strutting along the beach In
bathing suits calculated to attract atten
tion, and sitting close beside a man on a
rock with your hair blowing In hla fact Is
rlaky.
oi iray find yourself it the end of the
summer where you have Sjv-n: most of it
beictuti. The girls who 40 to the beach to
be InvlFcrated mentally u.id physically by
a play In the salty surf seen to exhale
something of Its buoyancy end frosh
charm. But you girls who make the pleas
ant Informality, the near to naturonees of
the place an excuse for a kind of flirting
that borders on (he Indelicate, that Rives
the irati w:th you a chance to suspect that
yrur mind needs fumigating, ar In a dan
gerous way.
Every human being does pretty much the
same things. But It's the vay of doing
them that makes the difference. There la
no reason though there's such an enormous
number of chances for doing sea bathing
In any way that Is prejudicial to a girl's
best Interests. A lady can sea bathe till ahe
dissolves; and her ladyhood not be af
fected, however, her embonpoint may suf
fer. And there's nothing prettier and sweeter
snd more wholesomely attractive than a
beautiful girl in a bathing ault. But, If she
prances up and down to show her beauty
to the gaping loungers, there aren't many
but would rejoice In shying clam shells at
her If their self-respect was not greater
than hers or their disgust.
No boat, abandoned by those who amused
themselves with It during the summer, will
be higher and drier than you. Beached,
when the silly season ends.
Securing Pure Food
ages, adulteration of foods or drugs waa
punished with mutilation and capital pun
ishment for second offenses, but generally
first punishment was of such a character
that death ensued in most cases.
In fact, adulteration by the lower or work
ing elasses was considered a greater of
fence than highway robbery or murder, In
dulged In by the nobility."
Little rprlsea
"You won't need to send me any money,
John; I have enough to pay my bill here
and my fare home."
"Here's a seat, mister; we'll crowd along
a little and make room."
"Stranger, you dropped this $5 bill out of
your pocket book as you' hurried through
the turnstile."
"Your story is accepted, Mr. Percollum.
Inclosed find check."
"Yea, sir. pick all the cherries you want;
they're goin' to waste."
"It's lovely of you to offer to buy me a
diamond ring, Jack, but I'd rather have
you epend the money for household furnl
ture." Chicago Tribune.
A Tratbfal His.
"You appear to have every confidence In
your husband."
"Well, he Is very truthful. For Instance,
he cent me word yesterday that he waa
detained downtown."
"By business, eh?"
"No; by base ball." Brooklyn Eagle.
Daasrer of Wrens; Choice.
"Lot pitches his -tent toward Sodom." Gene
sis, Xlllill.
Abraham with his wife and Lot, his
nephew, hsd returned from their sojourn
In Egypt. "Abraham was very rich In
cattle. In silver and gold." Lot also had
large possessions in "flock and herds and
tents." Their combined holdings were so
large that it became difficult to obtain
sufficient pasturage for their large number
of cattle. Hence a very serious strife arose
between the herdsmen of the two cattle
kings. While Abraham had wonderfully
fallen from grace during hie stay In Egypt,
on his return to Canaan and to Bethel, "the
place of the altar and he had" made In
former years, and there he "called on the
name of the Lord." Arising from his com
munion with God, he said to Lot: "Let
there be no strife, I pray thee, between
me and thee and between thy herdsmen
and my herdsmen, for we are brethren. Is
not the whole land before thee? Make your
choice; If you will take the left hand I
will take the right hand, or If you want
the right hand I will go to the left hand."
Lot looked over the beautiful Jordan
valley, so rich and productive, "even like
the garden of the Lord," and he quickly
made hla choice. Just on the border of
that fertile plain stood the demonlsed city
of Sodom.
Strange to say, Lot pitched his tent near
by the city. He committed no sin In choos
ing the rich, beautiful plain for his own;
for Ood loves the beautiful as his works
attest, and he has implanted the like In
stinct in the souls of men. There is no
sin In elegant mansions with splendid
furnishings and fair gardens. So there Is
no evil In desiring fertile fields Instead of
barren rocks to cultivate. The well watered
fields of the Jordan plains were upon to
the choice of Lot as well as ths bleak
Judean hills. Neither Is there sin in living
near-by or in a great city. Lot bad a
perfect right to pitch his tent in the
suburbs of Sodom or to live In a man
sion on the city's most beautiful avenue,
If he so desired. No evil In that. But his
sin was In his greed and selfishness. His
wealth was the gift of Ood through ths
splendid business ability of Abraham and
the generous treatment Lot received at
his hands. He ought to have said to his
rr'-
Benjamin Franklin, patriot, philosopher,
philanthropist, was born In Boston, in ITW8.
He died on April 17, 1790. and during his
eighty-four years of life he saw the
growth of the American national spirit
snd the formation of the Union, of which
be was one of the moving spirits.
He was the son of a chandler, and
In his autobiography, which Is one of the
great books of the world, he speaks of his
early life In this way:
"At 10 years of age I was called home
to assist my father in his occupation,
which was that of a soap boiler and tal
low chandler a bualness to which he hsd
served no apprenticeship, but which he
embraced on his arrlcal In New England,
because he found his own, that of a dyer,
In too little request to enable him to main
tain hla family. I was accordingly em
ployed in cutting the wicks, filling the
moulds, taking cars of the shop, carrying
messages, etc"
During the revolution he did much to
enlist the sympathies of France In the
struggling nation.
Horace Greeley said of him:
"When I contemplate the Immenee va
riety and venaatillty of Franklin's ser
vices to his country and to mankind
when I think of him aa a writer whose
first effusions commanded attention In
his early boyhood as the monitor and
sorraioMT, wit. a
STAN FOR
MASSet, THE
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REV. T. C. WEBSTER,
Pastor Oak St. M. E. Church.
uncle, "I owe much to you, I greatly
reverence you. Besides you have the far
greater right to the soil of Canaan. I will
cheerfully abide your choice." It la not
recorded that Lot sought the councils of
the Lord. He put riches first. That was his
supreme ambition. "He that maketh haste
to be rich shall not be Innocent." "Peek
ye first the Kingdom of Ood and his
righteousness."
How many there are like Lot, who seek
the world first, not thinking to neglect God,
but for the time being put Christianity in
the "corners of their Uvea," forgetting that
the "grain may sprout through the thorns,"
but the thorns are ever growing. It is
possible to pay to dear a price for
material prosperity. "What Is a man
profited If he shall gain the whole world
and lose his own soul?"
That Jordan plain looked like a fine
business proposition to Lot. So It might
Men Who Helped to Make America
i'C- v 'J''.-'-
teacher of his fellow Journeymen In a
London printing office as, almost from
the outset, a prosperous and influential
editor, When Journalism had never before
been a source of power as taking his
place naturally at the head of the postal
service In America and of the earliest
attempts to form a practical confedera
tion of the colonies when I see Mm,
never an enthusiast, and now nearly
threescore and ten, renouncing office,
haaarding fame, fortune, everything, to
struggle for the Independence of his coun-
tw new vent tvtxtst rtuoa caw Mima coj.
ruFRc ur 1ft
mow. Btaeii mis
It 6et ANOTHER
r
. ' ' : ...
i ii i i it i) Vi ii Amm
have been If he had ever continued to walk
with Ood.
In Its moral aspects, the step wss dan
gerous. Doubtless at first Lot did not
Intend going Into the city to make It his
home for the "men of Sodom were ex
ceedingly wicked sinners." Perhaps he
hoped to do some good to the Sodomites.
If he, made one convert nothing Is said
about it. If he 'had been a holy man of
God It is Inconceivable that he could live
In Sodom so long and fall to make any
impression. A man's religion Is a proto
type if all hla neighbors go to hell, and
his own household with them. That awful
tornado of fire that awept down from the
heavena and literally conaumed those cities
and the plains not only showed God's
anger at sin. but it stands ss a fearful
rebuke for powerless christians. Let's
change that to for powerless church mem
bers. Christians, real christians, are not
powerless. Multitudes of church members
are.
"Lot pitches his tent toward Sodom."
Ah! If he had but remained on the plains
perhaps he might save saved his family
at leaat. Lot's choice was a costly one.
Indeed. He lost his property. He lost his
wife. He lost his daughters. Oh, worse
than lost; wrecked for two worlds. He lost
hts own reputation. Me ' his character
all because of a wrong choice.
A DMON lTlu.v e.
First. "When riches Incresse. set not
your heart upon them," for theywlll come
between you and the true and enduring
riches of a christian life.
Second. If sinners entice thee, con
sent thou not" Lot's association with the
-sinners of Sodom was evidently the cause
of his downfall, and the ruin of his
family.
Third. If men, like Abraham, will build
their own altars and worship God sincerely
they can stand true and keep-pure, even
In the Sodoms of the world.
Fourth. A man's family is of far greater
value than cattle and lands. The father
who advises his son "to get rich honestly
If you can but if not honestly get rich
anyway," was opening the door to an
appalling disaster. Lot pitched his tent to
ward Sodom, for one consideration only
Riches. He got his reward in sorrow and
shame.
try he having most to lose by failure of
any American his only son a bitter loy
alist t cheerfully and repeatedly brav
ing the dangers of an ooean swarming
with enemies, to render his country the
service as an ambassador, which no other
man could perform and finally, when more
than 80 years old, crowning a life of duty
and honor by helping to frame that Im
mortal Constitution which made us one
nation forever I cannot place Franklin
aecond to any other American."
(Copyright, 1911, by N. Y. Herald Co.)
Not Sever Rioifk,
Senator La Follette was talking about a
rather ineffectual law.
"I sometimes think," he said, "that this
day Is not severe enough. I sometimes
think that it is like a young and pretty
matron of Madison.
"This matron put her head out of the
window one afternoon and called:
" 'Tommy! Tommy!'
"Her little son looked up from his play
he was playing with a very dirty and dis
reputable urchin and said:
" 'That's mother. She's goin to spank me.'
" 'Oh. my!' said the dldty boy. 'What's
she going to spank you for?'
" 'For playing with you,' said the clean
boy, calmly. "Walt for me. She never takes
long. I'll be out again In less than five
minutes.' "Washington Star.
Ktiu siMme.
OWN
CIr.K
M
.'71
GEORGE SCHOFTELD,
2721 Caldwell Street.
Nun and Address.
Marjorie Alexander, 614 North Twenty
Myrtle Anderson, 1821 Casa St
Harriet Babka. 3611 South Thirteenth
n
Irene Baxter, 2627 Blondo St
Calvin Benolken, 2414 South Thirty-eighth St.
Blanche Bradley, 2415 Hltnebaugh St
Harry J. Brenthlnger, 2815 Spalding St
Llla Caley, 3018 Franklin St High 189S
Merwln Capps, 1524 North Seventeenth St Kellom 1898
Martha H. Clarke, 2708 Corby St Howard Kennedy .. 1897
Roland A. Clarke, 2522 North Thirty-first St Howard Kennedy. . 1904
Mable M. Coffey, 3816 Sherman Ave Lothrop 1897
Laura Darby, 427 North Forty-first 8t Saunders 1902
Frances Dennlson, 1507 Yates St Sacred Heart 1897
Harry Ellla, 914 North Forty-second St High 1893
Hannah Graetz, 921 South Twenty-seventh St
Michael Otab, 2912 Bancroft St
Mary Hartung. 2 412 South Eighteenth St.
Bessie Heston, 222 North Thirty-third St....:.
Allen A. Houck, 1512 Fort St
Thomas L. Houghton, 2602 North Thirtieth St..
Ulysses I. Howard, Thirty-seventh and Fort Sts. .
Edith M. Howe, 1053 South Twenty-ninth St. . . .
Sherman L. Kelley, 3032 Emmet St
Ulasta Kroupa, 4113 South Ninth St
Percy Larganecker, 2019 St. Mary's Ave
Edna Larsen, 703 Vk North Sixteenth St
Fern I. McCurdy, 1020 South Eleventh
Ella Martin, 612 North Twenty-first St
Helen May, 2612 Woolworth Ave
Phoebe Melander, 3023 Cass St
Martha Miller, 2322 Paul St
Irene I. Mlnger, 3001 South Sixteenth
James E. Monaghan, 2008 Grace St
Robert Nelson, 1334 South Thirty-fifth
Marguerite O'Donnell, 1605 Corby 8t
Agnes M. C. Peterson, 328 North Thirty-fifth St Saunders 1900
Earl L. Peterson, 2504 Bristol St Lothrop 1904
Esther Potasfanlk, 2222 Paul St Kellom 1902
Blanche Prlchard, 852 South Twenty-first St Mason 1895
Clara Pssanowskl, 2411 Castellar St...- Im. Conception. .. .1902
Ulah Renner, 3103 North Eighteenth St ...Hlgh 1894
Sara Richards, 1326 South Thirty-second 8t High 1895
William Rosenthal, 3018 Burdette St Howard Kennedy. .1904
George Schofleld, 2721 Caldwell 8t Long 1898
Frank Schone, 2903 Spring St Dnpont . s; .1895
Rudolph' Belgren, 403 North Thirtieth St... Webster 1903
Clell V. Sherbondy, 2581 Harney St , . . . . Farnam (...1897
Margaret E. Sholes, 1510 8outh Thirty-third St Windsor 1903
Henry Slack, 2703 South Fifteenth St
Reuben Slack, 2703 South Fifteenth St
Marguerite Stanley, 2115 North Twenty
Harold Stlne, 6712 Florence Blvd...... Miller Park 1905
Clarence Turner, 4519 North Fifteenth 8t Saratoga 1903
William Turner, 3136 Mason St Park 1895
James Van Avery, 1710 South Twenty -
Irene Vernon, 2023 Burt St
Emll Voborll, 1420 South Nineteenth
Albert Voss, 810 South Twenty-fourth
Ina Whitfield, 534 South Thirtieth St
Hazel Wickenburg, 1617 South Fourth
Paul White, 6616 Florence Blvd
Told by the Troubled T ourist
"That waj a very inhospitable bride
groom out In Indiana," remarked the
Table d'Hote Traveler. "I mean the one
who refused to treat to cigars when a
little party of kind friends came around
to serenade him and his bride as a slight
token of esteem.
"Just to show how hurt they felt at this
breach of an honored custom, the gentle
eerenaders broke into the house, threw the
bridegroom out the door and down a flight
of step?.
"The customs of a free and enlightened
nation like thle are not to be trifled with.
I believe a little serenade of this sort Is
usually known as a charivari, which is
quite a fancy name and suggests rose
leaves, confetti and tinkling mandolins and
guitars. Personally, I prefer the western
version, which is shivsree. It la much
mora expressive and, I should say, far
more truthful, because that's what It is
a shivsree.
"Ever attend one of those Joyous func
tions? In some states they call 'am a
aklmmelton, though why, I never found
out.
"After a shlvaree the happy bridegroom
la supposed to be in ths proper mood to
serve cigars and open wine and otherwise
dispense lavish and grateful hospitality.
The chief musical Instrument of torture 'in
a shlvaree Is usually a horse fiddle, which
is made out of a barrel and sounds like a
combination of fog horn and saw mill.
The muslo extracted from this pleasant
device blends nicely with the tin pans and
tin horns that accompany It and can easily
be heard In the next town. A few watch
men's rattles aervo to fill in the quieter
moments and also enhance the volume of
sweet sound when the orchestra reacher
a crescendo.
"If aeoompanied by the proper amount
of howling and cat-calls kept up for an
hour at least a serenade of this sort ought
to be good for a box of cigars Of course,
some critics have held that it really ought
to be good for nothing short of Justifiable
homicide, but then why be harsh?
"They have more refined methods In the
east, where they simply kidnap ths bride
groom and playfully allow the bride to
go on the wedding Journey alone. Or else
they do as was done the other dsy, escort
the bride and bridegroom to different
steamboats.
'Such played out tricks as filling um
brellas and eult easee full of rice have
been discarded long ago as entirely too
tame to suit so Joyous an occasion. Wed
ding guests have got to get some fun out
of It. haven't they? even If they have to
throw the bridegroom out of the door.
'X predict, however, that If the gueats
get much more fun out of It, weddlnga
by aeroplane will be more popular than
they are now. Then the happy couple
can be safely out of reach and might turn
the tables by emptying a ton or two of
2M
This is fhe
Day We
Celebrate
September 2, 1911
R hool. ar.
- second St. .. .Central 1900
Central 1896
St
. Edw. Rosewater. . .1901
.Long 1905
.Windsor 1898
.High 1895
.Druid Hill 1900
..Mason 1897
.Itn. Conception. .. .1903
. .St. Joseph 1897
..High ..1894
..Sherman 1900
..Howard Kennedy .. 1896
..Central Park 1895
..Park .'. 1898
..Howard Kennedy. .1898
..Bancroft 1895
..Mason 1902
..Cass 1901
St Pacific 1900
.....Central 1900
Park 1901
Webster 1898
Kellom 1902
St . . . .Castellar 1895
... ..Lake 1902
St Park 1904
...Sacred Heart 1899
.Castellar 1897
Castellar 1897
- sixth St.... Long 1897
sixth 8t High 1892
Kellom 1903
St Comenlus 1898
St Mason ......... .1900
High 1893
St.... Train .1904
Saratoga ..1898
TUB HAPPY BRIDEGROOM.
rioe on the heads of the assembled multi
tude." (Copyright. Mil, by the N. T. Herald Co.)
A JapsntH Miracle,
An English scientist. Prof. A. Abrams,
has recently be jn making a special study
of the semi-miracluous restoration to life
practiced by the Japanese, and while he
doee not fully explain why the men come
back to life after being to all intents dead,
he does tell how It is done, snd this In
Itself la interesting. In Jiu-jitsu, If a man
is knocked out, beaten senseless, killed or
otherwise mauled, and If a man has been
killed by a sunstroke or by drowning, the
reiitorer rolls the pariont on his face and
extends his arms sldewlse. Then he strikes
the patient on the seventh cervical veS
tebra wtih hla wrist, severely and regu
larly, until the patient recovers conscious
ness. Immediately he Is placed In a sit
ting posture, bis arms rotated and he Is
aided In walking, for otherwise he re
lapses into unconsciousness Immediately
and In some cases dies at once.
This system of pounding the seventh
vertebra has been found peculiarly bene
ficial In some acute heart diseases, and
the effects of the treatment under Japa
nese manipulation seetn almost miraculous
at times. As yet there seems to be no
elear medloal explanation of the effects of
pounding the seventh vertebra, but the
genuineness of the cures and resuscitations
frequently described by travelers is now
scientifically established by Prof. Abrams'
Investigations. Health Culture.
Doctor Mr. Bunting, I fear your vlfe'g
mind la gone.
Butting that doesn't surprise me; she's
been giving me a piece of It every day for
seven ye