I I1
jThe ee' Hn jyiaga z, i rp p)a
J0
21
f e
The 3EES Junior Birthday BooJc
Told by the Troubled Tourist
H)g'$(D)i3t!riiiEi
Jf
"I think I've discovered a man who
prrU nearly nata my touring record."
raid trie." Trouble Tourist WI he put down
lil.iper. . "le'i the man who haa Just
tM'lfd 22.M) mlle and spent only M.tO.
What he pent tlia $1.10 for I can't
n.i. out, though It appears It was for
ar fane. That's pretty' eay traveling,
onljr ft would have been much better to
have.made the 22.000 miles without the
H I expenditure.
"Jt. wouldn't havo lookd so exf rava
Ka4lt.r ;
"There must bo a lit of porters who
havo lout fortunes .by that 2i.0"O nil!e trip.
W hy. a porter would have got that H.10
before- the first hundred riuety miles had
been toi.-Uil off. There's nothing like walk
ing and saving tips.
i nil,:,, u. iiiuii ,m. v- v 1 1 if t a a iuiiu
UaUjuV, but that didn't keep lilin from
K"lnf hj the pu t Unit of a railroad and
asking for a pus. The president .of . the
load, boiriK annoyed at the reiim-Mi and
thiriMK to Ki t nd of his vifiilor, simply
wKito m a pf"f of I'ui ci :
"I'tifjiit Jon ii l)oc to walk from here to
JlmtMwn.'
"Ho B'ncd It and gave it to John, who
took, a peek at It when he gut outside.
Waa ho chuirrlned and did he wilt when
he read It? Not a bit of It. John Blinply
took hta letter and got aboard the train,
and when the conductor came along John,
who waa pacing up and; down the isle,
handed him the nolo.
" "Thlli la no a'ood.' said the conductor.
"This .only permits you to walk between
her and Jimtown.' . .
" 'Well, said John, 'I'm walking.
''And ho tramped on up and Uu-.vn the
alslo.
"Th9 conductor thought a mlnuto and
then gave IL up. . John was too much of a
lawyer for him, -
S3
I 111 1 Aa M
t
"OX A WALKING TRIP."
"Now, John would have saved that Ml
If he had to keep walking1 from here to
' Frisco.
"It's a pity John didn't meet the man
who walked up from the South pushing a
wheelbarrow. The chancea are ten to one
that John would have been riding in the
wheelbarrow by the time It struck Broad
way. "Ho missed another chance by not run
n'ng across the two meiv. who started
around the world rolling a barrel. If he
had. It's dollars to doughnuts John would
have been In the barrel before It had gona
five miles. He did like walking trips,
"I rather like them myself. I frequently
walk two blocks or more to a car. When
It comes to covering 22.000 miles, however,
I think I'd prefer friend John's method of
tramping up the aisle."
(Copyright, 1911, by the N.' T. Herald Co.)
c
Goat's Milk Scarce and High Priced
a
iXa
rad
.Ifr foreign lands the milch goat la gener
ally kaotvu. aa.tbe poor man' cow, - In
this country, at present. It is the rich
man', luxury-,-for an Imported animal costs
from i"0 to' fia, according to the Philadel
phia North -American, which says even ttu
crinvnon. goat, which wag' once the butt of
thjMtera and the habitant of dumps and
cul'hiige patches, naa asmimea a new nig-
ni andean 'enhanced value,'.
ii. the quality of milk which accounts
the goat's popularity. In the first
I'laee. l is aeemea uraciicaiiy iiuinuiir
from Juberculosls .and can be used for In
fants and Invalid when cow's milk is not
satisfactory'. That Is the reason why phy
sicians are. willing to pay 25 cents a quart
for If and why some wine laymen se for
tunes to-be' made in the sale of milk at
that .price. The fat globules In goat's milk
are so, small that they rise very slowly.
You" m4V net the milk for" hours and not
flnd'V Verlge'.bf .cream opon ii""'Conse
quently It Is not adapted to butter making.
Anyway. K-cent milk would hardly be
used for that- purpose.
In . some foreign lands the babies ta,ke
the milk directly from the uddera of the
KoatH. .Indeed, the goat la an Ideal foster
mother and will freely adopt the young of
other animal:!, even pigs. The milk la pure
white, and a few drops In a cup of coffee
re said to equal a teaspoonful of the
ow's product. Also. It la surpassingly sat-
ctnry for cooking. 1 The taste la not
ically different from that of cow's milk.
perhaps a trifle sweeter.
Great care in drawing the milk must be
exercised, however, as It, absorbs odors
rnsily and an unpleasant flavor "will- be
found If the sanitary conditions are not
if the best. For that reason the goat la
not milked In the stall, but in a special
room. The amount of milk yielded may
vary from a pint to four quarta a day. A
uoat which gives two quarts In considered
valuable. The lacteal period ought to eon.
tlnue five or six months. Thus, If a family
has two nannies, one coming fresh In the
spring and the other In the fall, Ita milk
needs are properly cared for.
If It were not for the difficulty In get
ting good breeding animals, milch goats
would soon be. common In this country,
even as they are abroad. There is a wide
and growing Interest In goats for milling
purposes. , The government hasust com
pleted a census showing that, there are
fifty-five regular breeders 1n the Vnlted
States, and probably there are In reality a
number of others, whose names were not
obtained. The agricultural experiment sta
tion at Geneva, N; T.; Is not Included in
the list, although It haa a fine herd.
For some years the government haa been
fostering the Interest in goats, but has been
hampered because Importations have been
Interfered with on account of quarantine
measures. At one time a large herd of
Maltese goats were Imported; but the ani
mals were quarantined In New Tork har
bor, where most of them died. That ex
periment seemed to dampen the govern
mental enthusiasm for a time; but the In
sistent demand for Information continued
and the authorities are now helping In the
general goat propaganda.
XL
Can. Women Afford to Ignore Fashion?
evjfc- d
aL'lud.
wrr-
C'an- a- woman afford .to exercise some
personal liberty as to dress to ignore what-
decrees or rasnion ma: seem iu ncr
ujd-I . This question is asked by a
-In the St. Louts Republic and is ac
companied with two emphatic answers In
direct .opposition yes and no. She can and
she cannot, - ut there are two of her.
There are no distinct classes of human be
ings,, - Kvery Individual belongs to any
number of them and overlaps Into aa many
more, but In the matter of dress woman
kind may be divided pretty safely Into two
distinct classes' those who can Ignore the
fvreec of Fashion and those who cannot.
"The line la drawn quite sharply between tho
weoran who "usee brains and good turtle to
adapt her style of apparel to her particular
good polnta and ersoHallty, and the woman
w ho!e -ack of one -or the other or both
would It-ad her Into extravagances of dress
would strike, dismay or horror Into
tho' hearts of all beholders. To the woman
of the first claaa the modern golden calf,
I'aahloii, Is a crusher-out of Individuality.
To-hr alater of the second division it is a
saving grace.
The woman of good tastb Ignores absurd
tanhiona just as she ignores tho latest
slang. She does not cover her head with
pounds of cheap false hair, shorn frem
heads of people whose hand or clothing
h would shud'ter to touch. Whe does not
make herself ridiculous In huts resting on
hr shoulders, hiding everything but her
out her best points. She must follow the
general lines of the prevailing mode lest
she be conspicuous, but ignoring -It ab
surdities and- making her clothes Individual.
Clothes In the beat taate are Incon
spicuous, made te adorn their wearer, and
her personality. Otherwise, she' becomes a
mere lay-figure, an animated clothes horse.
If a round, graceful waist is her main
charm, she will not wear the empire, thua
hiding her one best point. If her neck la
thin and scrawny, she will shun the Dutch
collar no matter how popular and pretty it
may be.
The St. Louis writer concludes that the
abstruse mystery aa to why women will
deliberately expose their worst features In
order to wear a popular style Is at difficult
of solution as the riddle of the sphynx.
r
To a Little Girl
All on a day of gold and blue.
Hearken the children calling you!
All on a day of blue and gold,
Here for your baby hands to hold.
Flower and fruit and fairy bread
1'nder the breathing trees are spread.
Hf-re are kind iaths for little feet:
Follow thnu. darling! You aliall meet
1'ant the enchanted Karden door, .
Frtonds by the hundred: maybe more!
Why do )ou linger) Ah, you elf.
Must he come for you then himself T
He of the laughing look and mild.
Whimsical master, irlorlous chhlld?
I T here you
feppss, tVtt ftt Mew
SMMbSttti all
COONT.I WANT
Vou tb MtaTV
OH M-PAM,
wr MBT TVC
7ea.fttT count
T CAM.
TCNIaVHT
a 1 at
pear'.
ff IS Zf
0tAT
flEAjaiRE
urw-a-lirflD
H - H
hi li rlil I - - . j4 sj
This is fhe
Day We
Ce7e2rae
August 22, 1911.
. .Kellom 1891
Loretta's Looking Glass-Held Down to Girl With Holes in Her Hose
hln and glvViig her the general appearance -where are you. "fclsa?"
cf deformity. Nor does she squeeze Into a I It Is he!
light skirt, whue lark of modesty would I '''."" we must hurry. I and you.
, , ' , ... . , . Vee such a number of things to do:
have Massed lier with a burlesque troute i i,,es to gather, thrushes to hear,
five yeara ago. On the contrary, he studies i Veop'e to wonder about, my dear!
her own far, coloring and figure ,j Take my hand lika a good alrl. Yes.
..... ... . . .... j 1 am the gardener! R. L,. 8."
dresses with the point In view of bringing J -Robert Ltfuls Stevenson.
The holes In your stockings are not the
kind that need darning;. At least, not with
a needle. And you would not fill them up
for anything. It Is funny to watch you at
the stocking- counter of a department store.
Very carefully you thrust your hand into
the covering that has nothing of the fine
art which so artfully conceals," but pos
sesses all of the revelatory power inti
mated in the. res of the quotation, "yet all
things discloses." If the mesh Is close, you
toss the stocking contemptuously back on
the counter and . look daggers at the clerk
for her indirect asalatance to your wither
ing modesty. Tou want the tiasue effect
or the laciest of open work.
Here is a letter from the girl who wrote
the fussy letter about her hatred of dirty
finger nails. By the war, she took the
reproof like a major. You remember that
I told her she needn't be so terribly fussy
as to make the condition of finger nails
the standard by which she judged people.
I Intimated that she might have holes In
her stockinga and that might get on the
nerves of others aa much aa finger nails
bothered her.
"My Dear Friend Loretta When
wrote you. asking you to ferule the girls
who had dirty nails, I didn't expect to re
ceive the whipping myself. Rut you gave
it to me. You said I waa fussy. Bo I took
It without flinching till I came to the in
timation about the boles In ray stockinga.
I never wore a stocking with a holo In it
In my life. But lots of girls do. And there
are lota of holes. And all plainly visible
Actually placed there to attract attention.
These thin and open work stockings arc
almost as immodeet as going barefooted
And the girls always wear short skirt?
and low shoes, so that their leas are re
vealed to view. Of course, no self-respect
Ing girl would think of exposing her bare
legs in the presence of the opposite sex.
But these perforated . stockings are
practically equivalent to the sume thing.
And often "barefoot sandals aggravate
the impropriety. Now, Loretta. won't you
please make these girls hold out their
How Do They Do It?
hands for a whipping? As you have pun
ished me pretty severely, please let me off
this time, and apply your ferule where I
suggest, so Instead of my previous signa
ture. I sign myself
The Olrl Who Has Been Feruled
Enough."
No dog that ever chased an intruding cat
up a tree ever undertook the job with
more real enthusiasm than I accede to this
girl's request. These abominable excuses
for stockings fill me with the same in
dignant protest that I feet when I see- a
girl robbing herself of one of her most
genuine attractions, modeaty, and wear
ing a porous waist that la simply a libel
on a class of entirely useful and modest
garments.
I once visited in a very rigidly religious
place, where dancing was looked upon by
the older people as a direct manifestation
of the devil's presence. And the young
folks actually danced the two-step right
under religious noses. But they called It "a
game." You girls can call these airy noth
ings with which you clothe your
limbs stockings, but I do not happen 'to
be in the backwoods class. You cannot
cover from me or from hundreds of other
Intelligent people the fact that what you
seek is the revelation of charma. Person
ally, I hate that queer whity-black look
that thin stockinga give which you think
appeals to the eye of man.
Listen to me: The admiration which you
attract by a vulgar exposure of your phys
ical beauties is not the kind that wins
husbands. Ixivers? Yes, perhaps. But de
cent men ilka modest women. And a de
cent man la the only kind worth while as
a husband.
(Copyright, 1911, by the N. Y. Herald Co.)
ALOYS BKRKA,
S''.H Houih Tenth Street.
Albert Anderson, 2418 Indiana Ave ,
May R. Bauman, 3840 Hamilton St Walnut Hill 100
Paul Bekins, 1128 North Nineteenth St Kellom .....1899
Bertha Belt, 122 Park Ave High 1893
Aloys Berka, 314 South Tenth St..,. Bancroft 1900
Paul Blotcky, 615 South Twenty-ninth St High 1896
Bronlstaw, 2661 South Thirty-first St Im. Conception. .. 1899
Bertha Brown, 2219 Seward St High 1895
Sarah Caraoello, 2214 Pierce St w Mason 1900
Ralph Carroll, 3214 South Twentieth Ave Vinton 1903
Bertha Chrlstensen, 1519 North Twenty-first St Kellom 1897
Carroll C. Clough, 2625 Emmet St Lothrop i. . .1901
Jessie Craig, 3217 Pacific St Park 1903
Albert Curry, 5309 North Twenty-eeventh Ave Miller Park. ...... .1901
Lester L. Dixon, 613 North Thirty-second St Webster 1900
Teresar K. Duszyhskt, 2561 South Thirty-first St Im. Conception. . ..1897
Loretta Dwyer, 2305 Vinton St Vinton 1904
August A. Ernst. 2029 North Twenty-first St Lake 1898
Kenneth C. Hampton, 621 North Forty-first St. ..... Saunders ........1904
Lucille, Hanson, 2102 Manderson 8t Lothrop 1906
Nate Harris, 2630 Davenport St. . . Farnam 1902
Charles Hnllicka, 1926 South Twelfth St Lincoln 1896
Katherlne Hodges, 2520 South Fortieth St Windsor ..1898
Harold Hopkins, 959 North. Twenty-seventh Ave Webster ......... 1903
Elizabeth Imbert, 1958 South Thirteenth St ....Lincoln .......... 1898
Rebecca Itrealputz,' 1903 South Thirteenth St Lincoln 1901
Joseph L. Johnson, 2832 Cass St .Webster 1902
Ruby M. Kalb, 5121 North Seventeenth St '....Sherman ........1903
Margaret Kemmel, 211 South Twenty-fourth St Central . 1899
Rosaline C. Kohn, 533 South Twenty-second S. .... .Central ......... 1898
Rosaline C. Kohn, 533 South Twenty-second St .Long 1908
Thelma Lamphear, 2917 Elm St....v Windsor 1903
Dee B. Meredith, 2314 South Central Blvd Vinton 1898
Sadie Newman, 2220 North Twenty-seventh St. Long - . .1901
Russell L. Park, 2415 Dodge St. Central 1897
Lawrence Peacock, 282D South Thlrty-6econd Ave Windsor 1898
Loretta Pszanowskl, 2411 Castellar St Im. Conception. ...1900
Inola M. Redd, 2317 North Twenty-ninth St Howard Kennedy .. 1904
Leona P. Robinson, Albion Flats, Tenth and Pacific. .Pacific 1901
Angelina Rock, 1236 South Nineteenth St Mason ...1902
Elsie Schagun, 2836 Decatur St Long 1903
Eleanor Shaw, 4422 Howard St 7 Columbian 1899
Tyra SJaberg, 1017 South Thirtieth Ave .Park ." 1901
rifc.-inttA Smith 106 North Twenty-fifth St. . Central .1904
Bessie Smith, 3412 Burt St Webster 1895
Antonio Sofia, 1118 South Sixth St Pacific 1902
Beatrice Splllard, Thirty-sixth and Ida Sts. Saratoga 1904
Sam Brown,' 1055 8outh Twenty-second St Mason 1904
Katherlne J. Stlgberg. 2737 Caldwell St ....Long . 1902
Melvin Stiles. 2719 Parker St Long; 1897
Frank Swoboda, 1792 South Twenty-sixth St High . .1893
Walter Swanson, 2014 Bancroft St - , ., castenar .,1900
Ludvik Tomczykinskl, 2721 Walnut St Im. Conception, ...1902
Bertha Weelligot. 2232 South Eighteenth St Castellar 1905
Margaret Whitefleld, 634 South Thirtieth St Farnam .....1895
Alice Wiggins, 2620 North Thirteenth St Lake . . t . .1904
Annie M. Wilson, 4616 Nicholas St ..Walnut Hill.. ... .1905
Catherine Wilson, 4616 Nicholas St. . Walnut Hill 1905
William Wintraub, 1315 Pine St ..uomeniug 1897
Mary Wroblewska, 2312 South Twenty-seventh St Ira. Conception. . ..1897
Marguerite Van Avery, 1710 South Twenty-sixth St... High 189 4
Lincoln and General Pickett'sBaby
The recent death of Major George li.
Pickett, son of the great confederate soldier
of that name, who led the famoua charge
at Gettyburg, recalls a story told by the
widow of General Pickett and mother Of
Major Pickett, of her first and only meet
ing with Abraham Lincoln. It was the day
following the abandonment of Richmond
by the confederates, and when the union
troops were In posaeaaion of the city.
Mis. Pickett was alone with her baby boy,
her husband making the final stand with
Lee and his ragged and hungry veterans.
It may be needleas to say that tho wife
-f the absent general was In no friendly
frame of mind toward the conquerors, and
her irritation was Increased by seeing a
body of negro cavalrymen sweeping pant
her house.
The door opened and In stepped a tall
figure In solemn black, wearing a high hat.
"la George In?" asked the Intruder, with
out other word of introduction. "If you
mean General Gorge . Pickett," answered
Mrs. Pickett severely, "he is on duty with
the army." "George haa been a bad boy."
continued the visitor, stretching out his
long arma and taking the baby, which j
seemed to like him at sight, and cooed with
pleasure In his embrace. Mrs. Pickett, fctill
angry, could only utter, "sir: "George
haa been a bad boy," repeated the caller,
giving the baby a toss or two to Its great
delight, and seeming not to notice Mra.
Pickett's esentment. He wsa the nephew
of a deur friend of mine, and I had him
appointed to West Point, hut he haa been
a bad boy." After a pau.-e, while Mrs.
Pickett listened speechless, the visitor went
on: "But you can tell him when he gets
back to com and see me In Warhlugton
and I will take care of liim "
"Who are you?" asked Mrs. Pickett, still
In. mystery as to her Ciller's Identity. '
"1 am Abiaham Lincoln," was the an
swer. ,
"What: tikclaimcd Mis . Pk-Ueil. "the
pirsldetu vt the I'tilted ttto"
"That la want ibex call mcV' penned Mr.
Liutuiu. Tlicii, lidlidln back t-o Uib), lit
parsed out with the parting Injunction
"Don't forget to tell George to call on me.'
The visitor departed. Mrs. Pickett noticed
there waa something In the baby's little
fist. It waa a fifty-dollar greenback.
Major George K. Pickett wb that baby
Columblau Magaflne.
Words on the Wooden Leg
j
Peaslmlsm Raantna Wild.
Jlbbs Do you believe there's a pot pf
gold at the end of the rainbow?
Jam me Say, do you know, I've got to
a point where I don't believe there'a any
rainbow! Boston Herald.
To rob a swallow's nest built In a fire
place was held In the olden time to be a
more fearful racrllege than to steal a
chalice from a church.
It was reported that at a ball game in
the east a wooden-iegged fan became so
excited over the result he left his limb
in the grand stand, with the ahoe on;
which led the "Long Bow" man on the
Mlnnea'polla Tribune to say:
Few people appreciate how many men
there are who have wooden legs concealed
about their persona In Chicago alone it
Is - estimated that on an average three
lega are amputated each day; In the state
about nineteen. In Plttnburg thure are
nine legs taken off each day and In the
state of Pennsylvania an average of about
thirty-five. Ohio comes next with twenty
seven a day, and In New York the aver
age runs to about twenty-six.
The artificial leg business is said to be
prohpeioua. In a Chicago leg factory 'all
but two of the 102 employees have arti
ficial support. I.egs are today made of
Kngliah willow covered with a thin parch
ment and enamel, or of wood and leather.
The mechanism which takes the pla:e of
the Joints is of cafe-hardened steel, plated
with nickel, silver or gold. The foot Is
of sponge rubber cemented on hickory
cores and has a resiliency that absorbs all
shocka in walking and permits a natural
step .
Legs were made long before the Chris
tian era, but they were not good lega
then. In the Royal Col.efe of Bui aeons
Ionclon, there la an artificial leg n.ade of
bronse and wood which waa found by a
scientific exploration party In a tomb at
Capua, Italy. Its date is estimated as
about S0O B. C.
If you have two meat legs and no corns.
thank heaven and leap for Joy. But if
you lose one of these limbs you may not
only secure one guaranteed never to have
corns, but you may still thank heaven for
Its mercies and leap for Joy. The wooden
legged man has considerable on the
wooden headed man.
r
Modern "Mots"
j
Borne women have party line 'phones so
they may be sure of an audience
To the cub drummer: Fhun the bragfeet;
let others tell of their wonderful sales, but
keep yours under your hat.
To the waitress: Beware of the young;
drummer who whispers sweet promises; ha
isn't sincere. Stick to the home talent.
To the chef: Don't serve canned or dried
fruit or vegetables when the same fruit or
vegetable in In season.
To the landlord: Clip out the above and
hand it to the cook, If you have no chef,
and "take one yourself."
When you see a traveling man stop ana
fondle a child make up your mind he haa
one at home about that size.
Did you ever notice how hard It Is to re
late a story when some one requests you
to ."tell a funny one?"
There Is one thing we admire about a
railroad man: He has nothing to say out
side of business. Conundrum: What is the
difference between a barber and a railroad
man?
"For goodneas sake." says the evangelist
as he takes up the collection. Tom Mot la
Chicago Record-Herald.
Mrs. Just a Wife
"(MADAM, THIS CNVELOPE COrilMN5
Trtt SCCKET OP MOW TO .
DEDUCE YOUh? QA3 DILL J .
liXK LOViP HOW TO 5SAVF
CarS: IBOUQMT iT fOK !.
I WOULDrvr OPEM IT UMTIL. '
YOU CAME MOM C
HUH' I COULO
HAVE TOLO YOU THAT'
' I v I