THE BEE: OMAHA. TUESDAY, AUGUST 22, 1M.
THE OMAHA DAILY BEE
FOrNDED BT EDWARD FOSE WATER.
VICTOR ROSE WATER, EDITOR.
Entered at Omaha poetofflce aa second
Class matter.
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JULT CIRCULATION.
47,931
State of Nebraska, County of Douglas, ss..
Dwlght Williams, circulation manager of
The JUee Publishing company, being duly
sworn, says thai the average dally circu
lation, lesa spo'ltd. unuaed and returned
topics, for tlis month of July, 1U, was
47,3L DWIOHT WILLIAMS,
Circulation Manager.
Subscribed In my presence and sworn to
before ma this 2d day of August. 1911.
(Seal.) ROBERT HUNTER.
bsertfcera learlag the city eae
porarily saoala k The Bea
mailed tkeaa. Addreea will fee
carnage aa oftea aa resjaeateel.
How that wool bill shrunk on White
House wash da.
Cur Congressman Lobeck cannot
come home too goon.
Johnny Bull made it a hot strike the
short time that It lasted.
Omaha Is on President Taft'a itin
erary. Omaha will be there with the
glad band.
The man who stole sixty pounds of
limburger ought to get out on a plea
of insanity.
Anyone else against the commission
plan of city government besides S.
Arion Lewis?
Now which of those democratic bats
men Is willing to Tolunteer to try a
sacrifice hit?
Now, that it is over, are the demo
crats satisfied with what they did not
in congress?
It Is just barely possible that Har
man ran away ahead because bis name
so closely resembles Harmon.
The rain falls on the just and unjust
alike, but where does that leave the
people who Inhabit certain spots?
Jim Jeffries denies having had a
"scene" with Jack Johnson in a Lon
don cafe. We do not doubt him.
That coal dealers' combine to protect
the consumers from being short
weighted Is entitled to a hero medal.
It appears that there will be two mora
democratic congressmen from Nebraska at
the next, election. World-Herald.
Oh, wake up.
Society has taken to riding donkeys
at a fashionable New England summer
resort. Catching up with society in
other places.
With our amiable democratic con
temporary tainted money Is' tainted
only when the taint can be turned to
political account. i
If the dispute as to who was the
first white inhabitant of the spot
where Omaha stands is to be reopened,
we call1 for arbitration.
Jack London was recently knocked
down In a restaurant. Ah, but that
does not come up to Upton Sinclair's
scheme of getting arrested.
Thomas A. Edison has complimented
the French for having small families
r no families at all. But Mr. Edison
was not Invited to speak at the Sar
bonne. The aspersion upon scientists that
they are not progressing comes to
naught In face of Dr. Woods Hutchin
son's discovery that "old age is a natu
ral condition."
' i
AH things come to those who watt
The Jacksonlans, who repeatedly repu
dlated Mr. Bryan, are now begging
him to come over to their side and be
their Peerless Leader.
two Missouri congressmen nad a
fist fight in the house the other day,
but the press correspondents did not
"send jt out." Probably regarded It
as a mere matter of routine, the bouse
being democratic. '
The recent deaths of aviators move
many folks to declare that these aerial
demonstrations should be stopped, but
probably If these men were not court
ing death that way they would be try
ing to swim the Niagara.
The pretense that the ice supply is
short in Omaha to justify the Ice man
in exacting 25 per cent moie than is
charged In the neighboring cities will
not hold. It can be proved that Ice
has been shipped out of Omaha to sell
in other places at a lower price than
here. There is no Ice shortage In
Omaha the holdup is being perpe
trated simply because our official
authorities sjre Inactive and our people
stand for It.'
Getting Ready for the Big" Show.
The Jacksonlan pronunciamento for
Governor Woodrow Wilson for the
1913 presidential nomination Is the
natural sequence of the Dahlmanite
declaration for Governor Harmon.
The Jacksonlana see a chance for resur
rection If It should turn out that the
hated rivals had guessed wrong and
they had guessed right. If Governor
Wilson should head the democratic
ticket, the Jacksonlana could point
back to this record and demand
recognition as the original and
only reliable organization through
which a Wilson campaign could b
carried on and the Dahlman crowd
would have trouble to avoid being shut
out of the charmed circle.
Where the Jacksonlana have shown
themselves foxy, however, is In pub
licly asking Mr. Bryan to Join with
them In a movement to give Governor
Wilson the support of Nebraska for the
nomination. This reflects the whirli
gig of time for those who in 1904 tried
to deliver Nebraska to Parker in de
fiance of Bryan were for the most
part Jacksonlana. This prepent de
mand practically forces Mr. Bryan to
yield, because he would hardly venture
to divide the opposition to Harmon by
taking up with Folk or Champ Clark,
whom he is known to prefer to Wilson.
The only way to avoid such a choice
would be for Mr. Bryan to submit his
own name in the presidential prefer
ence primary a possibility, but not
a probability.
In the interval spectators occupying
reserved seats may look forward to an
Interesting performance in the demo
cratic ring of the Nebraska political
circus.
President Taft Comin.
While the itinerary is not yet defi
nite, it is now fairly assured that Presi
dent Taft will visit Omaha on his
forthcoming western tour.
This consideration for Omaha on the
part of the president should be duly
appreciated by our people, and a fit
ting reception prepared for the chief
magistrate of the nation.
Omaha has been favored on several
occasions by Mr. Taft in his travels,
both before and since he became presi
dent. The last time he was the city's
guest came in the face of unfortunate
conditions at the start of a disturbing
street car strike and, as a consequence,
we were decidedly handicapped in ac
cording him the attention to which
the president was entitled. The next
visit should enable us to put up a
better appearance and leave a better
Impression on both sides.
The coming of the president will
give Omaha an opportunity to demon
strate its high qualifications to act as
host and it should not fall to enhance
its reputation for genuine hospitality.
Nayy Yard Casualties,
It appears that our seafaring troops
do not have to wait to go to war before
encountering danger. They may meet
it In the peaceful navy yards, where
the degree of hazard apparently is
about a three-fifths percentage. The
New York World has made a compila
tion which shows that last year in the
New York navy yard 3,042 of the R.000
men employed there were maimed or
injured, 123 cases requiring the imme
diate use of ambulances, and six deaths
ensued. These casualties exceed in
number those sustained on the day of
the battle of Santiago. The dry dock,
so long in building, was the scene of
a ' large percentage of these accidents
and others occurred in foundries and
machine Bhops.
The World says that so far as known
this is the largest percentage of in
juries for any body of men engaged in
employment not considered extra haz
ardous. The 'officials of the yard,
while admitting that the record is
larger than it should be, offer no ex
planation except to declare that every
known precaution is taken to protect
the men from Injury. It is a matter to
which the government's attention will
have to be given. Surely a situation
that bad can be bettered. Those who
shudder at the horrors of war can find
In this something quite as horrible as
a pitched battle and certainly less ex
cusable. v The government ie generous with
those navy yard employes whose In
juries keep them from work for a year,
giving them full pay, but it pays the
workman nothing If he Is laid up less
than fifteen days. This is one of the
anomalies quite as difficult of expla
nation as the basic cause of the in
Juries itself. Before the political do-l
tors get a chance to apply their hand
to this situation, Uncle Sam should
turn ills to improving it.
Boston Conquers Togo.
The sturdy little Togo, who made
Japan the conqueror of mighty Russia,
successfully ran the gauntlet of the
American banquet firing line until he
reached Boston and there before its
ruthless ramparts of baked beans and
codfish balls he fell vanquished at
last, a prey to the same sort of dis
comfort that has stricken many an
other strong and valiant man who
dared front this impregnable fortress.
It is too bad that the threat sea cap
tain was not warned of what. In the
vernacular of the street, he was going
up against, for he is not an imprudent
man and had be been given a slight
Inkling, could, and doubtless would,
have avoided this run-In with Boston's
celebrated combination.. Particularly
was It unfortunate at this season of
the year. Why did not some of Count
Togo's hospitable hosts tell him so?
Of course, no Bostonlan would have
done It, for that would have been trea
son, but a New Yorker might have
given the admiral the nudge that was
needed.
Tnlg seems to have been the only
untoward Incident of Togo's visit In
America and to think It should hare
occurred In Boston, effete, faultless
Boston, where they always do the
proper thing at the proper time. Well,
maybe after all. It wag a good thing
and Togo may profit from his experi
ence. How he must have wished he
had had thppe dandy old Yankee beans
and codfish balls to give to Rojest
vensky. We do not doubt that Imme
diately on recovery he ordered a supply
laid In for him to take back to Toklo
for future emergencies.
How to Live to a Good, Old Age.
A woman In Wllkesbarre, Pa., 99
years old, has successfully undergone
an operation for appendicitis. The re
sult is doubtless the source of pardon
able pride to the physicians and sur
geon in care of the case, but there Is
more attraction to It than that. It
stands to reason that the average
woman or man of 99, of whom there
are comparatively few, would not hold
out against the shock of a serious sur
gical operation, so in this case the
operators must have been aided by a
strong constitution in a body that had
been well kept. The reports say this
woman had always enjoyed good
health, which Is not necessarily obvious
from her extreme age.
Peopli are discussing the possibility
of prolonging life and. as a matter of
fact, statistics show that longevity Is
on the Increase, slowly, but surely.
It is due, no doubt, to closer adherence
to the simple laws of health which
nature Itself furnishes us. As a na
tion, we are probably giving more at
tention year by year to these laws, but
we have a very great distance to go be
fore reaching anything like an ideal
degree of observance, and as time pro
gresses and the temptations for over
indulgence multiply, our diligence will
have to increase correspondingly to
enable us to attain desired results.
The demands of life in all its aspects
today are many and exacting. They
do not easily conduce to a simple
career. That is something people have
to look out for themselves. Their bod
ies and minds are more or less mechan
ical and will perform just so much
work and it is for the person to say
whether that work will be extended
over a long period of years or crowded
into a short period.
Nature's laws are Inexorable. The
yielding has to be done by us. It Is
one of the "best signs of the times that
we seem to be coming, slowly, to this
realization, but there is a lot of
pathetic or willful Ignorance among us
yet. One of the tragedies of our times
Is to be seen in the all too-common
struggle of the prematurely old man
to make up for past deficiences by some
form of physical exercise, which may
or may not at this late day use up all
the dwindling vitality that be has to
spare.
The terms of peace indicate that one
set of English railway employes is to
be paid at least $5.50 a week. Does
this furnish food for thought to our
American railway employes?
The Jacksonlans' espousal of Mr.
Bryan probably Is to prove, not that
they love Mr. Bryan more, but that
they hate the Jimsonlans most.
The Snfe Conrse .
Kansas City Star.
England's great railway strike will cause
no Inconvenience, however, to those tour
ists who heeded the advice, "See America
first."
Tor Mure the Merrier.
8t. Louie Republic.
The .kaiser extends a friendly mailed fist
serosa the s.a. and says he would be glad
to arbitrate, too. The more the merrier;
on with the treaty and let peace be un
confined. Will Bernhardt Smile f
Sioux City Tribune.
Colonel Cody has just made a fsrewell
appesrance In Omaha. It Is said he never
again will be seen In the saddle. It Is
doubtful if Mme. Bernhardt will fully credit
the report.
Might Thro ll nil the Transom.
Brooklyn Eagle.
The Indian chief who lassoed a locomotive
should have bfen a warning to Nugent,
who tried his lariat on the Woodrow Wil
son hoom In New Jersey. Further proceed
ings Interested him no mote.
I.eanon Quirk! v Learned.
St. Louis Republic.
General Kitchener tau?ht the people of
England at the coronation how to build
and use barricades. From the appearance
of thlnsrs in Liverpool and .elsewhere It
mav be that there will be need of them
again before long.
Ilallnnv Mnll Profits.
St. Paul Dispatch.
The postmaster general would cut SO.OflO.-
(KX a year from the pay of the railways
for transporting mall. He would pav them
cost with per Cent profit. Can It be he
dues not know they are entitled to 7 per
cent, whether they earn it or not?
Will I llniihliir lllllt
St. Louts Republic.
It has taken the 1'nfted States senate a
long time to get around to the case of
Isaac Stephenson, but the committee that
la to Inquire Into the method of his election
has at last been appointed. Unless all signs
fall, the electioneering practices of the
aged lumberman will, when fully known,
make those of William Lorlmer look cheap
and trifling.
Poniidl:iK I'lolorraer Pare.
' Chicago Tribune.
Mr. Bran has served notice on all whom
It niHy concern that he Intends to devote
his life to driving plutocracy from the
throne add putting the rights of man In
the seat thus vacated. If In carrying out
this most righteous and sublime purpose
Mr. Bryan accumulates an Immenaa for
tune It la purely Incidental and nobody's
business but his own.
i'rarl I'aln ( Xaaed A'nsay.
Chicago Reoj'd-Herald.
Ambasrador Reid la reported to be highly
pleased over the aettlement of the fight
between the British government and the
lords without the creation of a lot of new
peer. One may Imagine how pained the
ambassador would have been If It had
become necessary for him to mingle with
basons who but yesterday were .nere per
sons of genius or the po.aciui i ui grtat
.ortuuee
TooklncBackwQnl
11 lb Day In Omaha
compiled rnoM net rtxeA
3
J AUGUST SSL L
Thirty Y(ra Ago
A resume of new business buildings under
construction la given aa follows: Howell's
new building on Farnam street Is roofed;
workmen are putting on the roof of Koster
A Clark's new building on Fourteenth be
tween Douglas and Dodge; workmen are
now on the second story of the Millard
block on Farnam street; the foundation of
the Lytla and Crelghton blocks on Farnam
streets are nearly completed; the founda
tion of the Millard hotel la nearly finished;
Burns' building will be ready for occu
pancy next month; a portion of the Her
block will soon be ready for occupancy;
the lathers and plasterers are at work on
Strang's building, for which the machinery
for the hydraulic passenger elevator h
arrived and will aoon be put In. This ele
vator will be the first ever used In Omaha
for carrying passengers.
The several different employers having
acceded to the hodcarrlers' demands for
Increaaed wages, they went to work aa
usual. They are now to get 2 a. day.
Officer O'Oonaghue feela as happy aa
If he had been left a farm on the Ohio
river. There Is a young O'Donaghue down
at his house a bouncing baby boy and the
only thing to detract from his pleasure la
that the child la too young to take part
in the Land league picnic.
Captain McClure, has had his badger
taken, and he is very disconsolate over its
loss. Any person finding It will return a
favor by returning It to the city hall.
The committee called to confer with St.
Joseph's hospital met at Judge Woolworth's
office. Nothing definite was settled.
William While, residing on Douglas
street, was thrown from his delivery
wagon while driving on Cuming street. He
was considerably bruised and at present
walks with great difficulty.
Dr. Gilbert C. Monell went to Detroit
about two weeks ago to be treated for an
abscess in his side. Since reaching there
h has been growing worse and seems un
able to find relief. A short time ago his
grandson, O. M. Hitchcock was telegraphed
for, and now his son, John G. Monell, Is
about to proceed there, as his father's con
dition 1h preiarinua.
W. H. McCoid returned from a three
weeks' trip to the west.
Dr. Hyde has gone to Jamestown, N. Y.
When no returns Mrs. Hyde will accom
pany him.
C. F. Goldman left today for Kansas
City to attend the annual convention of
the pharmacists. From there he will go
with Mrs. Goodman and the little girl on
an excursion to Santa Fe, N. W.
Hon. John Sherman passed through
Omaha on his way from the Paclflo coast
to his home In Ohio.
Twenty Years Ag
B. S. Wilcox of Browning, King & Co.
went to Chicago.
m John w. Hosier and two sons, ac
companied by her sister, Mrs. H. Bestor of
Plattsmouth. returned from a visit to tne
Pacific coast.
A teles-ram from J. L. Brandels stated
that he was catching some big fish in the
Wisconsin lakes.
rant at n Mostvn. Jailer Bebout and Court
Officer Keyser were granted ten days'
leave of absence by the Board of f ire ana
Police Commissioners and lit out to have
a good vacation. '
O. M. Hitchcock reported to the com
mittee on getting the national republican
convention for Omaha that h had seen
Congressman Dorsey and the latter had
promised to work for It.
Returning from the department competi
tion military drill at Bellevue In a special
Burlington train were tnese prominent.
Omahans: General Brooke, commanaing
the department; his staff. Mrs. Brooke,
Mrs. M. V. Sheridan, Mrs. McCllntock.
Misses Emily and Nellie Wakeley. Mrs.
Hamilton. Mr. and Mra. Ernest Rlall, Miss
Doane, Miss Carrie Summers. Miss Ger
trude Clarke, Mr. and Mra. Thomas Kll
patrlck. Mr. and Mrs. John Rlngwalt.
tb w. Pickens and mother came in on the
Overland flyer from Salt Lake City, wher'
they have visited Mra. Pickens' daughter,
Mrs. B. F. Redman.
Mr Kmllv Goodchlld. aged .2 years, died
at the home of her son, Solomon Good
chlld. 2i0S Burdette street.
Ten Years Ago
District Judge Ben 8. Baker called a
grand Jury, explaining that' he believed
one to be necessary every few years to
clear the atmosphere.
Fred M. Hana. detective for the Elkhorn
railroad, charged by Harrison county,
Iowa, officials with perjury, was placed
under arrest In Omaha. Hans claimed to
have a strong defense to make.
In compliment to the Misses Piper of
Lincoln. Mla Henrietta R. Reese enter
tained aUout twenty-five young women at
cards. Hlpth-flve was the game. Miss
Corls Beeman was awarded first prlie.
Major Balcombe returned from Buffalo
where ne naa auenuea rcumun ui m
Baloombe family, ten generations of which
were represented.
Mrs. George B. Trsohuck and daughter
returned from a six weeks' visit In Colo
rado. Thomas W. Lusk. sheriff of Burt county,
und Miss Dora M. Johnson of Tekamah
were married at the Merchants hotel by
the Rev. Mr. Dawson.
W. R. lesser, special agent of the general
land office, arrived In Omaha on an official
visit to the state.
People Talked About
In one of the elegantly appointed avenues
peopled by the smart set of Pasadena.
Cal., visits of the stork have become so
rare that many of the residents are aeeklng
bahiea to adopt.
A thrifty son of the Emerald Isle who
came over many years ago staked all his
capital, his energy and grit on a sand
bank In Long Island. He dad a few days
ago leaving a fortune of 13.000,000 for his
relatives to scrap over.
Steel king circles In the east are agitated
by the statement of a New York woman
in a suit against her husband that the lat
ter trimmed a steel magnate for tleO.OuO In
a little game at Atlantic City. Every steel
king from Gary to Pittsburg and New York
Involuntarylly exclaim, "Never touched
me."
Tony Bruno, a janitor In Thompaonville,
Conn.. Is out with a challenge to all tomato
or banana eaters of the stats to meet him
In contest at eating either of theae fruits.
Bruno haa a record of having eaten forty,
seven bananas, and this week won a wager
by eating six doien tomatoes without stop
ping until the last one waa down.
The copper camp of Montana must have
undergone a mighty change In recent timea
or the later day constables have more nerve
than their predecessors. One of Che latter
succeeded In serving papers In a lawsuit
! on Frits Augustus Helnse last weak. A
! procefs arver v.-lie utu tripled ti hainUU-ia
lie m r.: l::n In thai manner u few
years eo would be run out of Butte.
Around New York
Blppiea Current of Ufa
as Bee la the (treat America
Metro pells trmm Say to Say.
Ward McAllister haa been dead a good
many years, but the 400 lives on. Not
Ward's 400. The "Finest W that hare
made Broadway, Fifth avenue and llks
well sections glow with chesty bosoms en
cased la blue cloth and brass buttons. The
glories of else, shape and strut hitherto
monopolised by the Broadway squad, are
to be enchanced aa near perfection as exer
cise, selection and sartorial art can pro
duce. All the minor lights on the force
must spruce or walk the plank. Police
Commissioner Waldo haa sent the word
down the line, and It goea. The Immediate
cause of the shakedown was the discovery
of a stray cop with necktie awry, pants
uncreased, two shocking wrinkles on bis
cheat, and Inartlstlo dashes of a powder
puff on his florid countenance. The un
fortunate man was rushed to his station,
the riot act read to him In the presence
of the reserves and his star removed while
he completed his toilet Mr. Waldo is de
termined to reduce sartorial crimes among
"the finest" at all hasards.
So many men to whom the city mis
sionary had given money for a night's lodg
ing had expressed a preference for a cer
tain East Side lodging house that he won
dered what constituted Its particular at
traction. "It makes us feel self-respecting," the
men said, when questioned.
So far aa the missionary could see It
was a typical lodging house whose Induce
ments to self-respect were not apparent
to the ordinary eye. He appealed to the
manager. By what method did he fan the
fires of self-respect In his guests. The
manager pointed to a sign above his deak:
"Gentlemen are requested to leave their
valuables with the clerk."
flash for Spring Water.
The Inhabitants of the Jewish section
In New York's East side have been revel
ing these last few days in the unusual i
experience of having a spring of cold and;
clear water gushing up there In their!
midst In the great city, free of charge to'
all. On East Broadway aa excavation
is being made for the new ten-story build-j
tng for the Forward, the Jewish socialist
paper, and the spring, made available by
the efforts of the contractors to pump out
an Inexhaustible flow of water, was there
discovered. Up and down East Broadway
went the cry, "Mentchion( people) come to
the Forward building; there la hayleggee
(holy water)." And reports say they went
armed with palls, buckets, empty cans,
bottles, and even wash boilers. The water
Is described as being remarkably clear,
cold and sweet. The superintendent of
the contractors believes that It comes from
the Hudson river and Is purified by fil
tering through the aand, but he cannot
account for Its low temperature, which Is
apparently between So and 40 degrees.
There was once an old-fashioned well at
this spot. j
I
Where la Voir Freedom t !
A princeling with a name a yard long
and airs to match, apent ten days In New!
York long enough to get a mitten from
an heiress and contract a large grouch.
The latter he aired In these words:
"Liberty and freedom of action Is left
behind when one passes the statue of Lib
erty. "America la a country of supine serfs.
"Blue laws, and, worse still, blue cus
toms bind hand .and foot the sons and
daughters of the land.
"New York's taxicab, realaurant and
hotel proprietors are a bunch of heartless
knaves fit only for the knout.
"At the St. Regis with me was a lady or'
two. Their names? No, no. It would not
be at all apropos as you say. Anyway,
after our meal I pass the cigarettes, and
then I hold the match for my companions
to light. They puff away and are smoking
In great enjoyment when suddenly the but
ler comes to me and whispers that ladles
cannot smoke there. Bah, disgusting! In
Paris I would have arisen and dealt him
a terrible blow." !
Joklna- the Wron I. ear.
"We can turn out wooden legs nowadays
with nubber feet," said a manufacturer,
quoted by the Sun, "that are so nearly
perfect that you cannot tell them from a
live leg, I mean, of course, allowing that
the falae member la properly trousered.
This waa proved by a little thing that
happened to a close friend of mine
recently.
"He walked one day Into one of the
well known bars and assumed the atti
tude of one about to have his thirst
queched. A mutual friend who confesses
to being a wag observed to an acquaint
ance. Do you aie that man over there?
Well, I'll bet you I can go over and stick
a knife In his leg and he won't be con
scious of it. You don't believe It?'
" 'It's some joke or other,' returned the
other man, 'but I'll go you a drink on It
anyhow
" 'The first speaker took out his pocket
knife and opened It. Then he walked up
behind the man at the bar and made a
violent Jab at the unconscious drinker s
right leg. The owner of the member
assaulted gave a yell and Jumped and a
fight almost resulted. The trouble was
that the Joker had forgotten which waa
the wooden leg."
Teat of Steel Inn.
St. Louis Republic.
The lest to which the steel railroad car
was subjected In the wreck at Kort Wayne,
Ind., waa one of the greatest severity
known to the transportation world. -If
there la disappointment because fatalities
resulted, it, must he remembered that with
ordinary coaches a wreck reaulting while
a train was being run at such extraord
inary speed would probably have been ac
companied by a death list of thirty or
forty.
VACATION.
Somervllle Journal.
Oh. how Joyous is vacation.
Cheerful time of recreation,
Free from toll and tribulation,
Full of life and animation.
When, with feelings of elation,
We abandon our vocation
And enjoy the sweet sensation
Of entire relaxation;
When we iult, for Illustration,
The old wearisome dictation
That we've had in satiation.
Lay aside all obligation
In our dally situation,
Cease from harxh self-abnegation.
And In aome approved location
Yield us to the fascination
Of complete and sweet stagnation.
Or In welcome aeparatlon
From our usual occupation
For our simple delectation.
Seeking no one'a approbation,
Asking not remuneration.
With a scorn of compenhation.
We Incline to vegetation.
Rumination, meditation.
Following our inclination
Free from any molestation,
Far from any habitation,
loafing without ostentation.
Filled with thoughts of exultation.
At our dlfcassorlatlon
Trom the worry and vexation,
From the ceaseless -Irritation.
Thut la found In nv t4'ion,
? e'.-'n U fee:'- .Ttlo :.
P i isui ar' re n alo:i.
I n y. inv' .-! : n
IM i tUe luivli .uj' ul vaiuop;
GRINS AND GROANS.
"I have a terrible cold." he complained.
"My head feels all stopped up."
' Have you tried a vacuum oleanar?" ehe
queried sweetly. Judge.
"My good man, why don't you look for
workT"
"Look for Itt My dear madam, tt takes
all my time dodging It." Baltimore Amer
ican. "8n. I hear you have Joined the boy
aeout movement '
"Tea, dad."
"Well, auppose you scout ahead and see
If your mother Is sitting up for me." Phil
adelphla Ledger.
"How crooked your fingers are!"
"True."
"Base ball?"
"No, automobile door." Newark News.
TJpgardaon Tour cousin Is a practicing
physician. Itsn't he?
Atom He has discovered one or two spe
cifics for cancer, I believe, but he hasn't
settled down to regular practice yet Chi
cago Tribune.
Biiggs So among Arthur' and Kitty's
IT
Money.
.,,...1 fl.ksaljk.al
UIGIS UUIIlCwl
tee mnxR
SOiZ5 mem
He sent his boy to learn a lot
To Omaha he came.
The school waa fine, there was no rot
The boy's now known to lame.
oneylovers' Contest Dinner
Picture Ho. 4 Published Sunday, August 20
RAYMOND RICHMOND
2012 South Central Boulevard. Omaha
CORRECT ANSWER
Omaha Taxicab and Auto Livery Co.
Stand, Romo Hotel
First Class Touring Can carry you to any part of the city. It is
tlse safest and cheapest service. Try it once.
Booklover's
; . w . .s. . a
a . as m' a i
iu k juu'j'" muuwu u) tue uovernmejnt chart to be the samsj as
that of Los Angeles, Fresno, etc., lies Tehama county, California, it
lg within two hundred and fifty miles of Ban Francisco and there Is
situated the famous Lutheran colony which has had so much discussion
In Omaha by reason of a local clergyman taking the initiative in lta
formation. The Bee offers this 10-acre ranch as Second Prize in Its
Booklovers' Contest. Here is a livelihood for man, wife and children
for the rest of time. Here is f 1,260 In land, carrying free water, wait
ing only for the plow share and intelligence to cultivate It and produce
almost any variety of fruit.
.I'L'SJ-S-i" X"ncernl" hl land may be had at the office of TUW.
BMDOl lOUTH CO., In the City Metlonal Bank BldgH Omaha.
Booklovers Title Catalogue No. 2
This indispensable title book is on sale at itee business office for
23 cents; by mail, 20 cents.
Total Prizes More Than $5,000
To the Public:
Hereafter the distributors of "Old Fash
ioned Lflprar Beer" in Omaha will be Cack
ley Brother, Telephones Douglaa 114H,
Independent A-2148. Caokley Brothers
succeed the firm of Courtney & Company
in selling this delicious old German laer
beer.
kMShHaaM
wedding presents n an automoMle. My
the way, where did they spend their hon-
moon T
. r i . v i n in. mm n i a i , ri , i , . n i ,
script.
"Father seems Impressed with yrur talk
about coupona," said the girl. "Have you
really any?"
"Pure." answered the guileful youth.
"Got saved up toward the furniture for
our little flat" Louisville Courier-Journal.
Pocahontas bad saved the life of Captain
John Smith.
"What would have been the use of killing
him, anyhow, pa?" she said. "There are
millions of other John Smiths, anu there
wouldn't have been a line about It In the
par re."
Her news Instinct was unerring. Saving
the captain's life made a first page story
of the affair. Chicago Tribune.
"Tou will he glad to hear, Henry, dear.'' I
said Mrs. Wllloughbv. "that my new dress
does not button up the back."
"Hooray!" cried Wlllougnby, turning a'
somersault on the divan.
'How doea It
button, my oearr-
"Down the back," said Mrs. Wllloughby.
Judge's library.
91 for first correct solution re
erf
reived by Bee Content Kdltfir.
Picture
Number
Published
Tuesday.
August
12, 1911
JJ
-.J
Second Prize
?r.