TIIE BEE: OMAIIA, MONDAY, AUGUST 14. 1911.
ge
The BEES Junior Birthday BooJc
Bleat of the Innocent Bystander
"Hav you noticed that publisher
think the fashion mamsiues . will b re
garded a lilFtnrVI documents by future
generations?" a?ked the Regular fellow.
."'Future generations have a good laugh
In store fir them, then' answered the
lnnoctnt Bystander. "Thusefa'shion platta
will hold fond for thought, but It may rive
them . cramps If they're to be icgaYded
as historical documents we can expert to
see them kept-wlth the Declaration, of In
dependence, the constitution and other
state ' papers In some unprotected place
which is not fire proof.
"I noticed that the esteemed publishers'
representative said .that it was meet and
proper to be lenient in the postal rate on
te ahltfvn .. i.dvlnaa tttt Kit tnnh fttf tti
women of the present age to keep up with-tt-e
mlle-a-mtnute profession, but for the
benefit of I heir descendants, who mlKht
wonder how . the present generation
dressed or wanted to be dressed. ,
"If 'posterity Is guided by the fashion
plates It will s;et an Idea that this era was
populated by tall, willowy' females, each
about nlns feet high and a foot wide, with
the general architectural denlgn of a plank
and the eolorinR' of a poster. Of course,
all enr present " women' are demure but
haughty giantesses of'the telegraph pole
variety; of course, they all have swan
like necks, thin, oval faces, broad shoul
ders, no hips and little mice of feet.
"Future generations will get n Mea
that all of the women of this age went
around staring vacuously and with hau
teur at nothing, wearing gowns which
never wrinkled or bulged and engnged ex
clusively I Idleness, which last' Won't be
such a bad guess by posterity.
"By that time the women will probably
be In congress and In the seats of gov-
Trying to Regulate
Koports from Europe say that students of
'ernational law are now seriously consid
ering the possibility of regulating aerial
warfare. Recently the" qOestlon was up be.
fore a meeting of the"' Institute of Interna
tional Law, hefuV'st, Madrid, prof. Holland
of Oxford. urxeVthat aerial warfare,-even
scouting, Be prohibited, Prof.,.Wesl,lake'' of
fered a .resolution to the effect . that,, all
fighting with . fclrtihj e forbidden, fraying
jrniles the" right "to use "bsilloqns or""aen
filanes for reocnaoanee - and . .sopiting;
jwork. Ths 0ttni,nfc,' 'headed, by- Frot. ',von
War. wanted to restrain suoh warfare as to
isnake It vlrtuaJr)y1lmposHihe..v jpaul.. 'Fau-
chille, edttsrr,a STranebi'publication, op
posed any restriction1'.? ',-any sort.
Albert; de Lapradelle argued that such
warfare' could not be prohibited because a
natiorrwhlch had neither a standing army
nor a fleet would be able to defend itself
only with airships and would have a right
to make use of .this defense; In spite of alt
treaties to. the contrary. Further, he urged,
this warfare Is the most economical of all'.
lie aIot raised the question" whether, If
aeronauts" be permitted .to attack armies
on land or fleets at sea, they should also
be permitted to attack each other In the
air. Admitting that they' may bombard a
Acting
In this game the oompany mar be divided"
Into actors, who Illustrate the proverbs In
pantomime, and spectators, who must RU8
the sentence represented.
The actors are each given a proverb
which they must' represent in turn, alone
and without speaking.
The first player may come into the room
where the spectator are waiting, wtth a
prmkler In one hand and a cup in the
other.': He begins sprinkling the flowers,
then pours water over them, acting the
proverb, ,'tt never-, ralne but It. pours."
The ' second afrtor also brings a - cap of
"inter. He repeatedly attempts to' drink
from the cup, which keeps slipping from
his fingers as he brings It near his mouth;
"Thane's many a slip between the cup and
the Up."
The third brine a purse containing brass
button, -which he takes out and counts
Those who recall the "hop crop" furor
n e
certain sections of Nebraska some years
St
will be interested to learn that in
Oregon hop' growers will be greatly en
riched this year. It la reported the yield
this year will not only be one of the best
ever known, but prices will be high. Indi
cations are that within a few days 80 cents
a pound will be paid for the growing crop
and many familiar with the trade believe
that a 40-oent market will be reached be
fore the' autumn Is over. Indeed, one Pa
dflo coast dealer makes the prediction that
hops will sell for 60 cents before the first
of the year. w
Heredity Brings Pain
alaCsMB
The small girls of Virginia were early
instructed, before the war, as to the Im
portance of their "family." Mrs. T. P.
O'Connor, In "I Myself.", recalls her own
yearnings to play with a certain "Billy
Bat, who lived near her home, and also
recalls her colored "mammy's", refusal to
permit her.
Mammy looked imperious and disapprov
ing. Dem Bates chlllun ain't bad ohlliua.
I aint ssyin" dey is, but who day gran-pa?
ley aint nobody in de roun' wort' dat
knows, or wants to know. Now you's got
a gTan'pa, an' what yo graa'pa wus. you la.
An' yo' gran'pa is a centlemaa,- an' you
ought to be a lady. But yon ain't wta to
be tf you goes an' plays wid de Toms,
IMcka an' Harrys la dis here town."
"Bat tfsar mammy
"New dont you 'dear mammy. . met I
seen you flshln' wid William Bates yes
terday familiarity of nicknames for
mammy "an' I ain't tell yo' mamma yet.
but J" let me ketoh yea at it again, dat's
alll" , .,
The words of mammy nave come pain
fully and acutely true the last few years.
- My "gran'pa"- died with (out, and several
attaoks have lately , laid me low, and at
Ust. arteirlmsny-yesra.-"wnat my gran p
wu,-I la"
f
1.
Yeast Crop Swells
UIANTE88."
ernment, and without doubt there Will bs
many learned and impassioned references
to those sacrsd old state documents, the
fat-hlon plates, when ths question arises
of revision downward on the waist line or
the skimping on wood and silk. Along with
the doctrine of the fathers, that we hear
so much about now, our descendants will
have to stand fur a lot of noise about the
doctrine of the mothers."
"It takes a constitutional lawyer to In
terpret' the meaning of the fathers," ob
jected the Regular Fsllow.
"It will take a constitutional dressmaker
to figure out what the present day
mothers mean,." replied the Innocent By
stander. (Copyright, 1911, by ths N, T- Herald Co.)
Aerial Warfare .
fort or an army or a fleet, may. they, when
fighting with each other,'' imperil the lives
or property ' of innnocent noncombatants
below? ' ' ' '' ' '
The delegates were practically unani
mous in saying no to this last 'question.' It
was pointed out' 'that In terrestrial warfare
the sone of hostilities is always limited
by the cumbrousuess of armies and fleets;
in a battle In the air, which might move a
100 miles an hour, becauss of the mobility
of the flying squadrons, the sons of -hostilities
wou'd be almost unlimited.
To cover these two points M. de Lapra
delle offered a resolution to the effect that
"war in the air is permitted on the sole
condition that it does not subject the per
sons and the property of noncombatants
to greater dangers than are entailed by
war on land or sea."
'An English proposition prohibiting all
aerial warfare was defeated and the resolu
tion of .1. de Lapradelle was adopted by a
large majority, , x ...,.. . .
' This was only' a. vote of principle, ft is
nald. ' In September, 1912, at the -meeting in
Christlanla the .subject . will, be brought up
for final decision and the result will be
sent to the next peace conference at The
Hague,
Proverbs
over deliberately. . Then ha looks .at. them
closely and with seeming doubt, flnslly
throwing them tway from him in a rage.
Proverb, "All is not gold that glitters,;"
The next actor appears with a large stone
which ha rolls about ths room. Then he
examines It critically and shakes his head.
"A rolling stem gathers no moss."
Another miv hrlne In a htinril tst htv
(or something that may be supposed, to be
hay) and tosses and turns it over with a
fork 'carried for the purpose, frequently
looking up to an . imaginary sky. "Make
hay while the sun shines."
Very easy Illustrations have been given
here, but proverbs more difficult to act
may be chosen as' the play goes on.
The game is more Interesting if specta
tors .are gtyen paper and pencils to write
down their guessing of each proverb when
the" actfer-leaves tie room to-be followed
by another. Philadelphia Record.
.In,. view of a -short crop In Europe and
bad yields In qfher parts ot this country,
the' Paclflo northwest will have a fair crop
and Oregon a very good one. Oregon
growers have contracted but a. small par.
of the .year's yield and they . will be In a
position to profit by the high market that
is promised.
The output of the Oregon bop flelJs
Is estimated this year at from 96,000 to
105.000 bales. Taking 100,000 bales as a
fair figure, the Oregon hop crop will
bring into the state, figuring on the prob
able prion, no less thai) $5,100,000.
There is said to be a shortage in the
world supply this year of 300,000 hundred
weight, or 30 per cent more hops than
Oregon produced In its biggest year. In
1806-7-8 there was a large surplus of old
hops on hand and prices were consequently
depressed. This surplus has now been
used up. It is said, only a few email lots
remaining in (Towers' hands hers and
there.
Ce'SM (Sll.
HVttV.TMSV stuf
W0IA MAIM
on the powe
$f TNE CArtTM.
f A
sr . f sr yr rr.t-Exr
c sr ip -oj J y k
0 v-Jr"n
Loretta's Looking Glass-Held Up to the Shop Talker
' Of course, it's better to be a shoptalker
than a shoplifter. Only naturally the lat
ter courts secrecy and nonexpreaslon. while
you seek and make occasions for your par
ticular activity with a pertinacity and a
positively unstemmable enthusiasm that
becomes an awful bore to those who have
to listen.
Personally, I have a lot of sympathy for
school teachers. I think it's about the
.hardest work a woman can do. It's the
profession which is abused by the public
more than any other, with less chancs of
retaliation or recompense. Mothers freely
and frankly acknowledge that they will be
glad when vacation is over and the chil
dren in school.- It's becauss they are glad
to shove off on the teacher the task of dis
ciplining the young- American whose wild
pranks and ungovernable activity are more
than they can manage-
The school teacher is everybody's servant
and nobody's boss. If she. reproves a child
In a way he deserves, but of which the par
ents does not approve though said parent
frequently has reoourse to the same method
she Is hounded and harassed almost to
death." Yet, in spite of the drawbacks and
r
'Age Cannot Wither"
Elisabeth Marbury, the dramatic sgent,
was talking at the Colony- club In New
York about beauty doctors.
'The papers and magaxlnes are full of
their advertisements." she said. ' "They
must make a great deal of money."
"But, Miss Martury." said a young
woman lawyer, "I have heard that beauty
treatments are dangerous."
"Well, you might call them dangerous in
a way." Miss Marbury agreed. "I know,
for example, a very rich widow, of 2 yeara
She took a course of ten beauty treat
ments, and last month married her boy
chauffeur."
Who masters his tongue saves his head.
ll!4') LrKK VktA Wat.) HR.WOWNIMIN Si.UKE TO) fa
V teiJ ,a:J S5hSr (h5Sj mw I SHOULD
WS r tes Xipm 1mm 1 SrM PJ, m fW s
til TKf
a terns.
ILL LOOK
LlM A POET,
if rrrfrrpJ
f THTMrT!
Llr3
eT
TOUCH
LIQUOR
9MIL
MINE
the impositions in connection wtth her work,
she is the champion shoptalker. But you
are her close second. - And your business is
art. At least, you claim it as yours and
then load it off like an old man of the sea
to burden everyone else.
Yon are authority on everything that any
body ever painted anywhere. Any you cor
rect the well-meant and education-seeking
comments and inquiries of your acquaint
ances with an air of such superiority that
you kill what embryonic craving for art
culture they have.
And, after you have squelched them Into
silence, you begin your shoptalk. You ar
at work on a marine scene. It Is to be so
snd so, and such-and-such' has said that It
promises remarkably. You will spend a
year or two working- In this country and
then you will go abroad. Art Is the main
business and should be the chief interest of
the universe. There Is something in your
manner of speech which intimates that
your especial art execution should be the
bright particular point on which all eyes
should fasten.
Your friend who sings is almost as much
of .a shoptalker. She relates the peculiar
ities of her pupils and Impresses the fact
Truisms
A man is a lion In his own cause.
Better sit idle than work for naught.
A friend Is not so soon gotten as lost
Priority Is good In all things but death.
Those things that are unseemly are un
safe. He that
neither.
follows two hares catches
To pavs ths wsy be a stepping-stone to
anything.
"I Should Say Not!"
pe
" - -"
. w Ha I
rrl OH WMATi
If I rt fNCH0IT
&V9 SN"TCH Mi BMP-
that they had slmost Insuperable vocal
faults when they came to her. Which, of
course, Is but an opening to the emphatic
disquisition she thereupon delivers in regard
to her extraordinary ability in having over
come the colossal obstacles. She, too, has
ambitions.
Not bad things to have; but dreadfully
bad things about which to talk too much.
For the unsympathetio publics la apt to re
member the glowing predictions made by
herself for herself and when she settles
down to teaching do-re-me to any one who
can pay the price, they will recall that she
anticipated an operatic career. And, In
stead of giving her credit for earning an
honest living, by industry and hard work,
they will Jeer at the difference between the
to-be-that-waa and the what-is-now.
And how men hate the shoptalker. It's
the social or the mating instinct that at
tracts men -to women's company. And
when you shoptalkers show so much more
Interest In what you are doing than In what
you might do with the men's assistance,
they think you are too terribly self-centered
to be able to Include them fn your lives.
Talk about the weather! Anything rather
than your business!
Old Saws Revived
Many will hats you If you love yourself.
The friendship of the base is a wall of
sand.
A load that Is cheerfully borne becomes
light
When the danger is passed ths saint is
mocked.
Despise not the world, for thou cannot
do without it.
Who laughs ths last doth laugh with
great success.
a . VT 1 I, l
rv
(U
''r jr
'-" J? ' ' : -'
,f, X I '.".? '
JAMKd IIUTKSON.
l'.CO spencer lit reel.
Xante and Addrroa.
William E. Burton, Thirty-fifth and Ilrowa Sts..
Doris Benson, 2820 Ellison A
Leon Bruno, 1411 North Twentieth St
Antoinette L. Boall, The Majestic !-ke ...19S
Ruth Burdge, 2668 Pratt St Lothron 1904
Fred A. Collins, 110 North Eighteenth St Holy Family 1904
Merle B. Colli flower. 816 South Twenty-second St. .. Mason . 1816
Adela L. Christensen, Thirt-nlnth and Wright Sts.. Windsor 192
Arnold Clark, 3322 Dodge St High ;...189B
Mabel Elmquist, 2221 South Twenty-ninth St.. Castellsr 1907
Ira Goodwill, 1400 South Seventeenth St..; Coraenius ...1903
Max Oreenberg, 519 South Twenty-sixth 8t Farnam ..199v
Harold L. Head, 2824 Blondo St. Long .-. . .1992
William J. Hughes, 1021 South Twentieth St Mason 1896
Roy Hiland, 3343 Grand Ave '. Monmouth Park.. .1899
Ernest L. Hecht, 3018 Hamilton St Franklin 1994
Walter Hornig, 1601 Frederick St Castellar 191
Harry Haykin, 1002 South Eighteenth St Leavenworth ......1908
James F. Huteson, 1920 Spencer St Lothrop 189T
Harold Johnson, 2425 Manderson St Lothrop .1902
Sarah F. Kellogg, 847 South Twenty-fourth St Mason 1900
Mary H. Kellogg, 847 South Twenty-fourth St Mason 1900
Walter Kuri, 2207 South Twelfth St Lincoln 1904
Alexander J. Keenan, 1901 South Fifth St...... St. Phllomena 1897
Frank J. Kane, 542 South Thirtieth St High 1895
Eugene H. Kleiner, 1820 Clark St.. ; . . Kellom 1901
Mildred Larsen, 1112 Ames Ave Saratoga ..1899
Katherine S. Lentz, 1113 Park Ave High 1897
Helen Lindquist, 1502 North Nineteenth St ..Kellom 1901
James McCollister, 8041 Stone Ave Miller Park 1904
Frances Musgrave, 2615 Gust 8t Saratoga 1897
Mary M. Mohott, 3338 Corby St.T Howard Kennedy.. 1968
Sybil Nelson, 2969 Poppleton Ave..... High 1894
Hazel Nelson, 3436 Curtis Ave ..Saratoga 189C
Ernest H. Nelson, 1514 Ohio St., Lake ; . . .1903
Adelaide O'Nell, 2607 Bristol St Sacred Heart 1902
Earl Price, 410 Francis St Train 1905
Nunzia Pollto, 1008 South Thirteenth St Pacific '.-...1904'
Arthur Paklser, 6719 North Thirty-seventh St Central Park r898
Lydia Ruppert, 2014 Martha St High 1896
Jotian Svitata, 2910 South Twenty-sixth St Im. Conception. ...1904
Ida 8. 8mith, 1322 South Twenty-fifth St.... Park 1900
Joseph Schmidt, 2329 South Fourteenth St.. , St. Joseph 1901
Richard Shelander, Thirty-fourth St. and Fowler Ave. Monmouth Park. ..1902
Helen C. Sargent, 414 South Twenty-ninth St Farnam 1900
Mabel A. Sward, 2812 Davenport St "...Webster 19o2
Olive Schneider, 3824 North Thirty-eighth St Central Park 1903
Ethel Stannard, 2119 Grace St Kellom 1903
Letitia Van Buren, 1129 South Twenty-eighth St... Park ..1896
Max Weits, 2306 North Twenty-first St Lake 1895
Frank L. Wicklund, 819 South Twenty-fourth St.... .Mason ..1895
Viola H. Zorn, 4811 Leavenworth St.... Beala .'.....,. 1903
r
A Triangle
J
Says Slctlon Foreman Murphy to Blction
Foreman Burke:
"Why don't yeh quit ysr loafln' an' find
a job o' work?
Teh haven't done no Join tin' since the
twinty-nlnth o' May;
Teh did it thin to cllibrate yer bye was
born that day.
Ye'd get a haulln' over if the boss should
happen by,
Fer all yer ties need tampln' an' yer low
joints all is high;
Ter tracks is like a scrap dock, so high
wit' junk they're piled;
Yer rails is full o' humps an' bumps that
drive the brakemln wild."
To Slctlon Foreman Murphy, says Foreman
Burke, says he:
"Ye'd better tlnd yer slctlon, an' not be
wetchln' me.
Yer curves is out o' kilter, yer angle bars
is cracked;
Yer ties is ail so rotten yer shplkes kin
not. stay tacked.
Yeh nlver take a shovel an' shovel out
yer ditches;
Yeh nlver cut the daisies from aroun' yer
frogs an' switches;
Yer slvln miles o' slctlon is overgrown
wit' mom; '
How did it happen, Murphy, they mads ye
slctlon boss?"
A gruff voice interrupted. 'Twas Bup'rin-
tlndent Flynn:
"Why are ye slitandln' idle ye an' all
yer mln?
'Twould take a year o' labor to put yer
track In shape;
An' now, instid o' workin', I find yes half
aahlape."
Says Station Foreman Murphy to Slctlon
Foreman Burke:
"Yeh hear what Mlsther Flynn says, go
awn an' git to work."
Says Burke: " 'Tls ye he's roastin', ye
clumsy, shtupld man!"
Then Flynn, he lost his tlmper an' gave
thlm both th can.
Lydia M. IX O'Nsll in Railroad Man s
Magaxina.
Met Wronsr Dog,
Once upon a time there wss a rabbit that
took a drink of whisky of the kind that
is said to make a rabbit fight a bulldog.
He duly attacked the first bulldqg- he met
and was promptly slain. The bulldog had
jtst taken a drink of the same kind of
whisky.
Moral: From this we should learn that
a bluff is only good where It will go, and
when we fool with a fool we should be
certain we have the fool to fool with.
This is fhe
Day We
Ce7eirae
August 14, 1911.
School. Year.
.Monmouth Park. ..1900
.Miller Pari 104
.Kellom .....1100
f
Nubs of Knowledge
J
Mortar for building purposes was used
by Hebrew masons in 34? B. C.
There are 100,000 telephones in use in
Japan at the present time.
Built in the year 700, the mansion belong
ing to Count Matuschke, at Wlnfel-on-tbe-Rhine,
Germany, is believed to be the old
est inhabited house in existence.
From one and a half millions in U0L the
number of horses in Canada has risen to
nearly two and a quarter millions at the
close of 1910.
The largest restaurant in the world has
been recently opened at the Berlin Zoolgi
cal gardens. There are accommodations
under the roof for 10,000 persona and for a
like number In the surrounding grounds.
Posters are so called because In former
times the footpaths and roadways of Lon
don were separated by lines of posts on
which it was the custom to paste annonee
menu. .
Rio de Janeiro has the finest harbor In
the world, with fifty miles of snchorag.
The streams In various parts of Borneo
are at certain seasons unnavlgable be
cause of the clouds of mosquitoes which
Infest them. .
First Greek anthology, or book of choice
thoughts, was compiled by Meleager, of
Oadara. Syria, about S9 B. C.
Bonded warehouse system was first au
thorised in England by act of Parliament
in Vin. It was suggested by Sir Robert
Walpole in 1733. but was then defeated
owing to Its unpopularity.
Industrial expositions began with " th
French In 1701.
Th child that wears a black silk cord
around Its neck will not have croup.
You must not pay the doctor entirely,
or there will be sickness in the family.
When swallowing a chicken's heart
whole make a wish, and it will come true.
Hope Is the last to abandon the unhappy,
When pleasure can be had it Is (It to
catch.
First recorded discovery of iron In th
United States was la North Carolina In
UiS, and the first attempt to manufacture
It was in Virginia In Ml.
' Jamas Nack was a Nsw York poet and
author of soma nota. He was bora la ISM
and published several volumes of poems,
the last being entitled the "Romano al
the Ring," which was issued in Ufia.
Mrs. Charlotte Kllia Tonna was on of
the most prolific religious writers of the
nineteenth century and her works had a
large circulation. 8 tie was bora In Nor
wlch, England, In 179 and died la London
July U. IM.