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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (July 29, 1911)
13 The BEES Jiuriop BirficLzy Eook How to Train a Wife ..J TIIE BEE: OMAHA, SATURDAY, JULY 29, 1911. ft 1 W s f Tt "Mr. Brown wu here this Afternoon," annpunced the Hopeful Housewife, aa ah settled Into an easy chair on the porch. "Tea," answered the Confirmed Com muter, aa ha began tumbling for a match, "what about. ItT" , "She came to tell me that aha hopea all her friend are ready to stand by her, aa aha la about to get a divorce from Mr. Brown." "What, again?" exclaimed the Com muter flippantly'. "Oh, but she meana It thla time. And after hearing all about Mr. Brown e cruelty t and neglect 1 can t ear that I (j.ame her. He la a monster!" the Hopeful Housewife added emphatically. A picture of the rotund, easy going, Vjij ' m frankly common man that Mrs. Brown had chosen for a combination antil mutii and meal ticket rose before the Confirmed Com muter. "Oh, I don't know!" he rejoined. "Brown aeema a pretty decent sort of fellow rouh diamond and aU that, of course but per haps if Mrs. Brown had stayed home more, Instead of running around telling her troubles to the neighbors, she might have a happier life " "Mrs. Brown doesn't run around any more than I do!" exclaimed the champion of her sex. wtlh some ferocity. "She has a few Interests outside the laundry and kitchen to keep her brain from gangrene. I suppoae your Ideal woman would live In a dishpan, the way that old philosopher Diogenes spent his days In a tub. "No," aald the Commuter who in several years of marriage had familiarised with the sort of lightning rod that conducts domestic V iiaanea narmiessiy into the ground, "my I Ideal woman Uvea In thla pretty little house." ' His wife smiled a smile of helpless molli fication. Compliments alwaya appeaaed her, even though she knew they were ut tered with that purpose in view. The Confirmed Commuter also smiled. But he was never able to let well enough alone. "Tea," he repeated. "I must say I've trained you Into a pretty good sort of wife. And I' can tell you, you weren't very promising raw material when first we met," he added remlnlscently. "Ton had so I many 'Isms,' so many "bugs," that only an entomologist should have married you." f Really!" aald the Hopeful Housewife, with Icy politeness. "It must be a pleasant thing for an artist to survey his handi work and be so perfectly satisfied with it. I wish I could say aa much of my feeble efforts to produce a model husband." "Why don't you read the recipes In the Told by the Troubled Tourist "Just my luck!" exclaimed the Troubled Tourist, aa he laid down his newspaper and savagely bit off the end of a cigar. "Here I've been traveling all over the country for years trying to be accommodating and yet I've never got anything for ft "beyond a few, sparse, grudging thank youa. And now here's a man who gives up a lower berth and takes an upper one to oblige a fellow traveler and the fellow traveler die and leavea him 120.000. "Now, wouldn't that discourage you? Every once in a while you read of a man who gives assistance to some elderly In dividual In just a casual, every-day sort of way and when he a forgotten an sdoui a few years afterward he finds himself a beneficiary under a will that was made expressly for him. Somebody helps some body elae off a street car or dusts off his at or gives him a light and geta a million oil are for It But somehow or other I never can strike one of these cases myself. I always get In bad. "I once picked Vout a nice, prosperous looking fellow passenger who looked aa though he'd be sufficiently grateful when he came to make his will, and I showered him with numerous little attentions, which he accepted. I was careful to give him my name and address, too, and I figured out that one of these daya I'd get a fine return on the investment. I never saw him again, but I learned afterward that he told the conductor when he got off the train he was convinced I was up to some game and he'd better keep an eye on me .the rest of the trip. "Then I read of another case In which a young man waa left a fortune for giving an aged citlsen ahelter from the rain. I Immediately laid In a stock of umbrellas and went '.about lending them to frail but prosperous looking elderly persons, ' ac companying the loan with my full name and address, and up to date I haven't even got hack one of the umbrellas, to aay noth- Special From Montpelier, VU, to Barn la, Ont. 628 miles, in thirty-six hours and ten mlnutea with twenty-five cars carrying 900 tons of granite, is the record of a granite special run made by the Central Vermont and Grand Trunk railways. The train was one of the regular tri weekly service from the Barre granite sec tion of Vermont to the Canadian portal of the St. Clair tunnel. From Port Huron, the other portal station, the shipments are divided and sent to the west. One car made the run to Chlcsgo in eighty-five . "What gives him such sanctl guonioua sir?" -Oh, he's Just aatea a.wboet ' WE ARE fTy EAT.' ; , . J.. 4 AK "I BrpPOSE OVR lfeEAI, WOMAN WOULD LIVE IN A DISHPAN?" Ladles' Home Helper?" Inquired the Com muter. . "Because I don't care for peanut period Icals." she answered. "But I could write my own recipe for a model husband If I wanted to try It." "Well, what Is ntt Fire ahead!" answered the Commuter recklessly. "Take a man one of the cheaper cuts will do put him on the slow fire of his own Imagination let him aimmer for a long 'time in what he thinks Is a hopeless passion marry him then roll him In the butter of continual flattery and deference cover him carefully with crumbs of com fortbrown him with fervent affection dust with paprika and garnish with a lemon. Tou see," she added cheerfully, "it's a perfect recipe, but I never could get past roll him in flattery.' There's no use trying you can't create a model husband If you have a spine." "That oughtn't to worry your friend, Mrs. Brown, any," and the Commuter dryly ob served. "Why don't you pass the recipe on to her?" "Because I've relied on you to Instruct Mr. Brown In the art of wife training," the Hopeful Housewife answered. "May I ask whether it Is customary to begin with Jumping through a hoop or standing In the corner? And what are the rewards? Some tralnera favor lumpa of sugar and others a piece of cheese. What do you think?" "Oh, sugar," replied the Commuter rue fully. "She baa the piece of cheese al ready." (Copyright, 1911, by New Tork Herald Co.) u J ( Ik "HE'D BETTER KEEP AN"EYE ON ME.' Ing of a legacy. I even sent one of my proapectlve benefactors home In a taxi cab and he rode all over town In It and then sent me the bill. "I don't aeem to be able to hit them right, some way, or elae they mislay my addreaa. The only one who ever kept the address, to my knowledge, was a prosper ous looking party whom I helped out of an embarrassing situation by lending him 5, and the next day he came around and wanted to borrow ten more. "When I heard about thla case of the $30,000 .legacy for shifting from a lower to an upper berth, I Immediately went out and bought a lower berth aa' far aa Chi cago, Just to take a chance on a few thousand, anyway. "No; It didn't work; I miaaed the train." (Copyright, 1911, by the N. T. Herald Co.) Stone Train hours, and other points were reached in similar time. Barre is the center of the granite in dustry of Vermont, and there are many sheds for cutting the stone in Montpelier. The product of the two cities goes all over the country. A large portion goea west. hence the special fast service. The train left Montpelier as the second section of the afternoon mall train and from St Albans, the first terminal point. It had right of track over everything except passenger traffic Over the straight and level lines of the double-track aystem of the Grand Trunk between Montreal and Sarnla, the train made some runs close to forty miles an hour, and the total time, Including stops, makes- an average of over twenty miles an hour, which Is remarka ble considering the aggregate distance. Engines and crews were changed four times, at St. Albans, Vt; Brockville. Belle ville and Mlrotco, Ont, the yard station of Toronto. The train is the pride of the freight men, as It gives them a chance to throw out their chests to the men on the Umlteds, who are apt to be rather slighting In their remarks about the speed of the freight rustlers. Anybody who delays the granite special is due for eome straight talk, while the man who makes extra good time la regarded as a true brother. Rail road Man's Magaslna. Yeatk Ac. "The difference between youth and age was never so well put." said Rev. C. W. Penlow In an address at an Ocean Grove beach meeting, "as by a playwright who wrote: " 'Youth, which la forgiven everything, forgives Itself nothing. Age, which for gives itself everything, is forgives noth ing.' " S2 Source ef Perpetnal Life "And this Is life eternal, that they might Know Thre the only true Ood. and Jesus Chriat, whom Thou haat sent." John 17 :X In a normal state the human aoul craw. life and dreads death. While one may b depressed by disease or worried by afflic tion so that he may prefer death with whatever It may bring to him, because he Imagines that bis condition here Is worse than any that might be his In any other state, or because he Is so utterly tired of his present surroundings that he feels that annihilation would be preferable, yet when the load is a little lifted, when a revival of health brings back a little of the strength and courage of manhood, he finds himself Instinctively clinging to life and avoiding death. Absolute annihilation Is hardly thinkable. While a few persons In all ages have held such a view of death, the vast majority of mankind have had a more or less well de fined notion of a continued existence after death. From the crodest savage who buries his favorite dog and his hunting outfit with him to the most learned poet, all have deeply burled within their heart j the conviction that the soul has a longer lease on existence than has this poor, weak tenement of clay. Between these two extremes are found many and differing expressions of this one fundamental truth. Nearly all kinds of habitations have been fixed up by Imag inative processes for the continuance of life after this body shall have been vacated and the last adieu taken of this old miyi dane sphere. Whatever has been the nature of the Idealisation. It always has been In the superlative degree. Whoever heard or read an expatlatlon on the future state In mod erate language? Adjectives and adverbs are used in abundance and the most flowery According to your own view, every man , who talks to you ten minutes loves you. The male who stares at you Is smitten with the "love-at-flrst-slght" affliction. The absent-minded creature, who occupies a pew across the church from yours, but gases alwaya fixedly In your direction, Is worship ing from afar. The unwary youth, who takes you home from a place where the two of you happen to meet (n calling on a mutual friend, is seized with the devotional ardor before he reaches your front dpor and . leavea you. The clerk, who sells you the things your mother aenda you to the gtooery to buy, can hardly keep hla penoll on the lines of the order book because he la so thrilled by your presence. The street car conductor, who waits his car when you come running, doea It be cause he is influenced by the love-charm of your eyes. The postman looks beatlflo when you take the mall from his trembling hands. The husband of your married friends would all be attentive It they fol lowed their inclinations rather than stern and disagreeable conjugal duty. The errand boy, who brings your package home from the store, la made to move with lighter tread when you take from his unworthy hand- The telephone inspec tor fiddles and fusses with the screws In the box Just to remain within the charmed circle of your Influence. The tenor In the r . - . , Loretta's Looking Glass-Held Up to Girl Who is Universally Beloved J YES, IT HAPPENS EVERY DAY 7 i MFFTM! M. OPVa WCXA.0 THAT r COUPLE FOR V' i -VrOl ' VVOULO THAT YOU , , WHEN WE ARE i iV5 gLl-r MAD OROeREO 1 o rTZ MARRIED YOU SHALL -Z- v DIAMOND 5ALAD WITH DPEH HAVE PC ACHES n ol. s,ygH 88FySJ 'st . . n - PICTURES. 1 WOMEN ' I we cam Pino him) r) L . " ... v .. 5 r ' - I . .-' . , ..,.! -j-mM REV. WILLIAM BEYERS, Pastor Seward Street Methodist Church. figures are employed. Whoever heard of a future state where a part of the bur den would be lifted, or some of the sorrow be assuaged, or a few of the tears be wiped away. No, no; It Is either all or none. It Is either unallayed happiness or unmitigated misery. Answering, to this oonvlctlon of the human heart. In the book we -find very much on thla subject. The two opposite states of exlatence are spoken of aa ever lasting life and death. But probably these opera keepa his gase fastened on you dur ing all of his love songs. The chauffeur, who drives the car with you in it, makes a dosen excuses to turn hla head and look at you. The box office man at the matinee gives you especially good seats for your party. You pass along life's crowded way, singled out, distinguished, haloed by the love of men. Lovely, isn't It? It certainly la Just as long as you tan keep your Imagination working overtime. For the universality of your being beloved Is all In your mind. Other girls dlBllke you. And It does not take long for the men to discover that you are a human gum drop. One of them cannot come Into contact with your over sweet, agglutlnatlous self without being stuck. The natural, expectant attitude of the normal girl, the "walting-at-the-gate" for the coming of "the possible he," Is changed f Proverbs of All Nations J Ships tear fire more than water. A duck lays eggs, a goose lays wagers. Hell Is full of good meanings and wishes. Life Is half spent before we know what It lay t.tijtiui, lili, by Uie X. Ueraid Co.) are only relattve terms, since It Is a uni versal conception of the human soul as well as a plain teaching of the Bible that there Is no such thing as death In the sense of annihilation. The scientist tells us that there can be no life In any realm without antecedent life. So In the spiritual realm God Is the ante cedent of life. "And this Is life eternal, that they might know Thee, the only true Ood, and Jesus Christ. Whom Thou hast sent, or to know Ood and Jeaua Christ Is eternal life. It Is this capacity of man to know God that differentiates htm from the brute creation. One may rise In the mental life until he must seek the society of educated, cul tured people for real enjoyment. But there Is In man another felt want not J satisfied with any human associations. I There Is Implanted In the human heart the capability of becoming a partaker of the divine nature. To them that believe He has given power to become the sons of God. Answering to this Inherent capacity In man, Ood has seen fit to reveal Himself, i so that man may come to know Him, 'Whom to know aright la life eternal.. ' While "the heavens declare the glory of i God, and the firmament showeth Hla handiwork," and man may come to know something of God in a general way through nature, yet It Is true, as the poet says, "But when our eyes behold Thy word, we read Thy name In fairer lines." Ood became like man, that man might become like God. Divinity was clothed with humanity, that humanity might bo clothed with divinity. Jesus came to earth to get acquainted with man, that man, through hla acquaintance with Jesus might know the Father. "If ye had known Me, ye should have known My Father also; and from henceforth ye know Him." by you Into an exaggerated "runnlng-out-Into-the-road" eagernesa which appro priates the passing Interest of every man who looks, from reasons of curiosity, as a love tribute to you. Some girls are so enthusiastic about get ting one man that they abuse the very things in themselves which are attractive to him. They fling themselves at his head. But you want to make a kind of emotional rubber ball of yourself and bounce pro miscuously Into the affections of all. You are always telling the other girls about your winning ways and the sure re duction to complete devotion that they work in men. The girls want to tell you a few wholesome truth; buf, with the characteristic oowardlce of the sex, they do not dare. They Just take it out on you by telling each other what a fully-qualified subject for the attention of the lunacy specialists they consider you. But when you begin to tell one man about all the others who have loved you near and from afar, you prove yourself what the girls think you without any expensive doc tor's verdict. The budding Interest the man feels dies in the torrldity of your admira tion for yourself. He not only knows you never could give him the proper devotion, but ha does not want to mix in with the mob you claim to have vanquished with your arm. J This 26 fhe Day We 1 29, 1911. July Xnmo and Address. School. Vear. Lillian W.. Agee, 1115 South Flftenth St Conionlua 1904 Lydla Barnett, 147 North Thirty-first St Karn.tm 1900 Helen BartoB, 2214 South Fourteenth St Couienlus 1900 Clarence Calabria, 2210 Poppleton Ave Mason 1899 Francis Conry, 1526 North Seventeenth St Holy Family 1900 Mildred Dunham, 1400 8outh Eighth St Lincoln 1902 E. Chris Ellison, 509 South Twenty-ninth St S. D. A . ....1903 John Foley, 2627 Hamilton St Long 1904 Herman Frleden, 1205 Douglas St Casa 1900 Bessie Halanek, 1223 South Second St Train 1896 Horace G. Givena, 828 South Fifty-first St Beala 1902 Harold Hansen, 4312 Patrick Ave Clifton Hill 1901 Herbert Hansen, 4312 Patrick Ave Clifton Hill 1901 Martha W. Heilemann, 3466 South Fifteenth St....Edw. Rosewater ..1903 Alvln Helgren, 2 801 Central Boulevard Webster 1901 Eugene H61mes, 2433 Blondo St Long 1904 Fred Johnson, 2413 North Eighteenth St ..Lake 1903 Earl Ketcham, 2777 Burt St High 1895 W'lllard Lee. 2563 South Fifth St Bancroft 1903 Helen 1. Llnaberry, 817 Pierce St Pacific 1902 Edna A. Loring, 2717 Parker St Long 1902 Ferold D. Lovejor, 2574 Evans St Lothrop 1898 Edward W. Mackay, 2632 Davenport St Harry McCaslIn, 602 South Thirtieth St Ocorgla McCaslin, G02 South Thirtieth Rose McDermott, 2775 Webster St Fauvette G. Martin, 2922 Frederick St Olga A. Metz, 628 South Twenty-sixth arah Muchnwk, 1402 North Twentieth St ""Horn 1902 David O. Noble, 8505 Hawthorne Ave Harold O'Rouke, 2325 Vi South Sixteenth St Castellar 1904 Henry Ed. Pageler, 3722 North Thirty-first St 8acred Heart 1896 Paul Palmqulst, 6909 North Thirty-third Ave Central Park 1902 Ruth Parker, 3414 Charles St Franklin 1898 Agnes Peters, 1439 Phelps St Vinton 1897 Lucy B. Ploss, 1915 Oak St Everett Raibourne, 3412 Lake St Carl Ramm, 920 North Twentieth Ave Mathew Rossen, 2912 South Fifteenth St Saunders 189.7 Edgar Rothery, 2562 Jones St Mason 1896 Bertha Rhoades, 2729 Blondo St Long 1900 Mildred Ryder, 2560 Brown St Saratoga 1904 Anna Sals, 2508 Patrick Ave Long 1896 Herman Sehelman, 1903 South Eleventh St Lincoln 1903 Zelma Skinney, 2766 Webster St Webster 1902 Frits A. Schlage, 3820 Parker St. -. Franklin 1905 Grace Thorn, 4309 North Twenty-fifth St .....High J894 Thomas V. Tully, 2617 Burdette St Long 1896 Waltman Walters, 3319 Harney St High 1895 Edith Westland, 3412 Jackson St Columbian 1899 Mabel Wlnegard, 2911 North Twenty-sixth St Lothrop 1901 Bryan Withnell, 2708 Camden Ave High 1896 Mamie E. Woods, Forty-third and C St Windsor 1898 C i Fair Ladies of the White House It was during the administration of Pres ident Rutherford Burchard Hayes, when his wife, Mrs. Liucy Webb Hayes, was the head of social affairs in Washington, that much discussion was created from one end of the country to the other. It was caused by an Innovation by Mrs. Hayes, who refusod to permit wine to be served at the table In the White House. Thla act was severely criticised In soms circles and upheld In others. Those who advocated total abstinence praised Mrs. Hayes' action and at the end of her bus band's administration presented her with an album filled with signatures of promi nent people In the country who approved of her action. Mrs. Hayes, who In her girlhood was Lucy Ware Webb, was born In Chlllloothe. O., August 28, U31. She died in Fremont, O., June 5, 18S9. She wis the daughter of a prominent physician in Ohio. He died In 183) of chol era. Miss Webb was educated at the Wes leyan Female college in Cincinnati and Concerning Wedding Anniversaries Quite a difference of opinion exists as to ths correct order of wedding anniver saries. The generally accepted arrange ment In commemorating theee happy events are: First year, paper; filth year, wooden; tenth year, tin; twelfth year, leather; fif teenth year, crystal; twentieth year, china; twenty-fifth year, silver; thirtieth year. Ivory; fortieth year, woollen; forty-fifth year, silk; flftleO Tear, golden; and seventy-fifth year, diamond. In sending gifts for these various occa sions, something In acordance with the above rule should be selected. Among the most appreciated gifts for the paper wed ding is a subscription for a good magaslne. a water color or etching, a erepe paper luncheon set. or anything having paper as Its basts. There are so many pretty and useful articles of wood that this selec tion is easy. For ttu tin wedding kitchen ware la appropriate. Any kltchtn utensil is in order, aluminum and granite being quite as well chosen aa tin. Books are the best selection for the leather event The binding should be at least half levant, and single leather bound volumes are la good taste. Pvcketbuoks, belts traveling bags, sofa cushions and library table covers of leather are all suit able. For the crystal wedding, useful and ornamental pieces of cut glass, bits of Bohemian tinted gassware, anything In glass for tba dining room, parlor or (otlet table is certain to be appreciated. When it ou uts to china ar.d silver, the selection is too wide to require even a suggestion. Ivory weddings are rare, but there are some exquisite bits of it la ths Japanese, Chinese and Oriental shops. Ivory handled parasols, canes and hand carved cameos In rare settings are hand some gifta Ooldea and diamond anniversaries call V I MILPR1CD RYDER, 2600 Brown Street. Central 1897 Farnam 1903 St .....Farnam 1897 High 1894 Windsor 1904 St Farnam 1898 .anklin 1900 Vinton 1899 Howard Kennedy. .1908 Webster 1899 Via. 1 :"ifl4f i'?Z-iJ.rt. - .Ah mnti.Mrtto.di ii -lie, i n il I,. while there became existed to young Hayes. , During the war Mrs. Hayes went to the front with her husband and assisted in the care of the wounded soldiers. , (Copyright, 1911, by New York Herald Co.) for unusual celebrations. A couple that has traveled this far along life's highway together are worthy the congratulations of friends and should be handsomely re- membertd.. By no means should ths golden wedding day paas without some sort of festivity, which may be as elaborate aa the strength of the principals will allow. A pretty custom In vogue at these mile stones of mstrlmony Is the cutting of a great frosted wedding cake In the preawnca of the guests. NOT PAINLESS. r- i i mmmm .. . -Oh. no, Mr. Shark, you must be filistaksn sbout having- a tooth ache they aU look petUaij souai to BMP i