Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, July 19, 1911, Page 9, Image 9

Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page. It is also available as plain text as well as XML.

    T11F, r.EK: OMAHA, AVKHNKSDAY. .TTLY 10. 1P11.
lirfhe ee'g Hne fafazirxp
Ar ,
,
"1 -V
'? . "
I ' f My. h
How to Treat a Wife
tv Confirmed Commuter. dejectedly.
- "I t' warm utrywhrf. dear." answered
he Hopeful HuuJ"lfe. '''and seteral per
sons wlm ere in, town .today told me that.
v cominrlsn.ith ..!i" .city, this place
Mm tlka.anurooicr rpyort." ,.
i'oh-, wen." . wtorted ,the Cummutfr,
Vfarllv, "lnupims:.. eould kid myself that
,y If I llki.- Ru I prefer-to look the
acts Inhe- fn! This jilaee.U a-slxxllng.
vpn, and 'h'a rldicvitmD'-to Cnoipwe It with
he cool, delightful-ptarealurther up the
oad. where mtutenah-es.heve their country
iflnipi. Acornrrrtur. itrll e would be a
Ich man'.vpuTgitrj. mwl'once.ln a while I
almost wsh T were-, sick-man,"
' rtut you CRntt-.rlrt( iian every little
JS'' h, ',f urged, tactfully, "and that
. ifp the T)1"nsut f eeendlnr fresh. You
know yo'aid ynurnelt-that you could feel
like a mtlllailr every Saturday, anyhow.
I don't believe snHHoasircs have the sensa
tion of wealth nearly e often;"
"ftarr'1 exotatmndMwlth a -sudden en
ergy In his- vote. 'tbaVs -true! That's
gives m'.aa ideal Llv run down to Lake
Hiawatha fw owrSumlsy.'I can ret away,
and one of the bojrs who. spent his vacation
there a vfew years (o tells me Its de
lightfully-oot Mdld -fiahrnir-rreat bath
ing, ana tne-rmiwa yor water In ten
atatea!" r?- r .4 .J 'f
The ITnrfuI 'MmweirWr sttrhed, for she
aaw rrom the CoKirroed' Cbrnmuter's face
that she tfbrifrofrted "the 4evltable.
"The neighbors ssy It'a very hot there,"
murmuredi.
Bsh!"aid Jt.he Commuter. In his most
superior manner,' " ihWhat do they know
bW it"1 " ' ' ' 1 '
Aid whilo hs wife pacKed two suitcases,
heS busied himself' with 'sorting over hla
fii-HIng Jackie; '-"'
Next morrilns "rh'ey arose, at dawn, and
even thert the ''sun' stared them out cl
tonntenifhee; ".,''""' ' ' "
At the station Ihev 'learned that no parlor
rars ran,"t to' their destination, which was
three hours distant "There was' no break
fast car. eltherv'arid''lt vrouli require a
second tfante to,JfWrin 'the heat and the
tortures of that 'rt'niy.1 dismal' local train,
'l'h, like a wounded Snake, dr as-red Ita
length along.' ' ''
ever mind this," he remarked. "Here's
a seven-mile trip up the lake to our hotel
by motor boat. -TuoH eriret air about the
heat the .first-, rrrianta - the . .lake breeze
strikes poa.." -.! .
And at last the lake was reached,
ttedced byVsmotoertnit JjlHs. It crawled
alowly through a thick haze of heat
motor boatja which the Con-
muter and M -wife embarked
revK-lenc,, and a It chuprired dor-
throuich itv aUiggUh water the
ivelers reallzeatbat It a breese existed
ft .1 , : f-
rO
MAL
I .( alowly throi
f. I The aniall
(t firmed Com
M reekl e g.
V f y throu
"HE S1GNATXKD FRANTICALLY AT
THE DEPARTING BOATMAN."
anywhere It had declined to follow the
boat. The sun, however, was aa continu
ally on the Job aa a brand new office boy.
"Do you know what I feel like?" the
Hopeful Housewife observed sepulchrally,
after they . had traveled Interminable
miles. "As If that old man were Charon
taklnn us across the river Styx, but that
Instead of landing us In the' cool, shady
realms of the paan riuto he was steering
straight for a forty gridiron hell!"
The Confirmed Commuter groaned. This
was highbrow talk and. added to the tem
perature, was almost Intolerable.
After an hour's trip, during which the
boat went out of Ita course every few
minutes to land a barrel of cider or -take
on a case of empty beer bottles, they
reached the hotel.
It was a dismal building of brown stucco,
auggeatlng In its treeless exposure to the
mid -afternoon un that It had been cooked
brown in that sizzling frying pan the
Hiawatha valley.
Laxndlng at last they dragged themselves
Into a deserted dining room.
"Dinner's over!" said the pert waitress.
"Supper won't be ready lor two hours.
No ma'am; no milk, no buttermilk, we're
alt out of ginger ale. I might let you have
a bottle of pop."
But the Confirmed Commuter had fled.
Waving his wife's violet sunshade, he
signaled frantically to the departing boat
man, who atopped and permitted his recent
passengers to crawl aboard.
"In four hours," aighed the Confirmed
Commuter weakly but happily, "we'll be
back home, where It's cool and clean and
we can have everything we Want to eat
and drink. Look your last upon Lake Hia
watha," he added dramatically. "You can
never drag me here again!"
(Copyright, 1911, by tho N. T. Herald Co )
if"
, - I II,
. M-,
Bachelor on the Claim
iff
EXTRA!! MI5S KITTY DENIES RUMO!
A3 Ml 55 KITTY PLrXCED THI5 PHOTO IN THE
P THE REPORTER, SHE SAID THE' REPORT
MAD ACCEPTED THE PRINCE OF POLTROON
IS FALSE, I LOVE AYf COUNTRY TOO WELL TO
rVARRYA foreigner!"
Mr.. Rooney Rocks
the eminent financier ,
A GREAT ADAER OP niiS KITTY
IN HIS AOVICE TO YOUNG Pup j'
SAID THE PRINCIPAL RULE fO
nr success is, whenever i
GET MT TEETH INTO A GOOD
THING. I NEVER LET G-0 I "
WELL IT ISN'T EVERTOOO THAT
HAS TEETH LIKE KR.tjOCKS.
MrRecnalo Van Oea Oooo
HiS CLAin TO FAME RESTS IN THE
l"Lf THAT HIS OKEAUMrjVOFATHER
L03TA Ltd N THE MvOlUTION.
AND ma DELATIONS BOAST ALSO Of
P S? 'AMI it TREE, I
! VS A SUPPLRY ELA.
MR. JAY ARMSTRONG O0t
' THE FAMOUS AVIATOR
THW 15 WS FUST rVBLIC APPEAR
ANCE SINC& HIS FALL. HE. WAS
AeouYTO BREAK THE ALTITUDE.
WHtft MI3 81-PLANE OVEP
TURNED. THE DOCTOltS HAO
&keat difficulty iti patch
ing up HIS KEAAINS.
f3UT THEY SAY DOCTORS CAN
oo ALMOST ANYTHING NOW
" A DAYS J
The BEES cTimiojiJIidJBook
TTrisJs (he
Day Wk
1
J7 W'
mm .1 Y
H'PA.? -J CI
July 19, 1911.
10 South Flfteenta 6L
School. . Year.
, ...Dupont . . 1818
, ...Castellar ........ ltOl
...Train 1S8
, ...Vinton 18
. . . .Central 1897
.Franklin 1108
1
MONS PlFPUf nr RmsftnM
Hi30t,TAIT 0FA1IS3 KITTY
THAT ME PAINT EO JO TH
;p,H 5AL0rVS NOW IN THE
MSS KITTv'S
uw te, 'w rnowN-
m v Y .
THETwO ftAH'QAH FXnv
J RtJM AH L OBEDIA H '
vc Jof. JHE ATHLETIC lOOLS OF YALE.
look wua.4VNATHIN THECYrlNASUrA DOING STUNTS
AT O UT tup SiilSSlF0! CLE0 JE RRY, 'DiO N'T
l OAT OUT THE WNN RON AND Vol; cam iv iu i,e
APEH I'l-LWirM KlTTTTOOlPpOR JERCy 1 rTfJ I?At
BUT LOOK AT THE OPPoltTibr4 ' V' H& "LANS uL
5 X"
SAa
I in. mi
! I thoiuSi
Kdltor'Th'e BoeW-gaKlne' Page: "WTMIei
I was quite Interested' Iff the ekchange bf
cumpliments you have printed from A'
Htald Matron" ' and "Clementina Wall
tliiwrr," things a(' hoine1 here kept me
about as busy as 1 cared to be; hence this
allenue of mine. One of 'the things that
pussies me, even more than the modern
development bf Htrahge' fashions for wo-
ir't.ie fart that the dry 'weather has
a bad effect brt 'frogs. Borne of
haven't learned ' to swim yet,' al-
tliey are old enough to have gne
to market before thfil, and would have
gladdened " aome " eplcut!'s palate and
brought home 'tijpney' t"o' me. Of course,
thel ponds, arenot ifa JiiU and fresh as they
imlnt be. and.af ); M hoped they would
beiwhen irt I.auirted the' frog farm, and
thAunly reason anyone herea Bout a can ac-
tou Jil for the slovneaa of pay frogs In learn
ing to swim. and. gel In .condition for the
table Isrthal the need rain a bad aa the
grain does. Vim have, had a little. moisture
lately, but not eneugh. One sodhoua hu
morist .wag - no meaa aa tQ aa to me, at
the postofflce, that the frogs were waiting
to see if the reciprocity treaty will pass.
The people In- thla, section went twenty
five miles to a point orf the Cheyenne river
to celebrate .tM J'earthof July. I never
lw stfcn' a'celeUrattoa b aU tar ltfe. The
tibie was spent In round and square danc
ing1, broncho beating .and pony racing, and
I upheld the i honor' of Nebraska by winning
a fifty-yard foot ! ra; Both" -whites and
Indians took part fn t-oe whole, show. I
also won the waltslng contest, with a
riattaaaoutb girl for a partner, and then
Nebraska was. proclaimed to the akies. The
dancing -beg as, a4-l p. ni. and we kept It
up ontil -o'clock, peL morning, and then
had to ride twenty-Civ miles home, and
no ameoth.road. eitbaA AVhich brings to
kmlnd- that the Qtaws of the Cheyenne In
senratloa hve v., quite, graceful
style ef-dress sftkeir.ewiw wtych om here
looks all righUi ,KKuU)ily nUght do worse
than copy th.p(Vurea4U dresses worn by
some f -the younjj Ji4tu women.
'What's 41i Ve ot quarreling about dress.
anywayt-'-Ur fkerv4.to tell of an old
man who camevtoviafsjo. away oacs in the
early aya-vba-eaw-tUe first pair of long
trou a era worn by -some man, -of advanced
ldnaa.'abeu 17ft U sald,rwhen folks saw
the "tubes" en -that brave juaa they roads
all hlaU of uaf biu-aad today we have
our little fling at the man who wears
knee breaches- . I-t v the , women wear
trousers If they t want -to, like Mrs. BeU
mont's farmevftteej dor .It atrtke roe they
could be ef tola .jnare .uae, especially on a
farm, it they would glacard the skirts, and
we would set usedUoit In time.
Blncath 7a,la croploojca .ao un promts
. -;'i:nni 7
Ing this season, I have been .engaged on an
Invention 'to prevent hens scratching up
garden and have onefold ' biddy almost
ready for the Insane pen by the experi
ments I have tried on her; but one con
clusion reached is that ' chickens have
brains, or something that serves the same
purpose. That hen play tricks that could
not be figured out by a brainless anlraai,
nohow. If my Invention pang out, me back
to Omaha to take it easy. .
It's too hot., and conditions are too
bothersome, to attempt an argument on
"Bachelorhood versus Married Bliss." but
won't someone kindly Inform me if It Is
necessary for frogs to know hoW to swim
in order to be fit for the market?
Ash Creek Una . . ISAAC
Nabs of Knowledge
J
But it is easy to know
Just one trip with you on a street
In the Bible the word
once.
"girl" ocours but
Canaries have been known to live twenty-
one year.
Central America has no fewer than ninety
active volcanoes.
Nearly 360,000 worth of
pawned In London weekly.'
articles are
It Is unlawful In Norway for women and
girls to serve tn publlo houses.'
There are thirty ' tunnels more, than a
mile long on English railways.
ien aays per annum is the average
amount of sickness In human life.
Ton are a girl who needs to be known
to be disliked.
you.
car convinces your companion that your
room Is better than your company. .
'Just look at that man! Isn't his nose
funny V you whisper to your friend.
You never seem to have the slightest
perception that the man with the "funny"
nose may be entirely unable to regard it
as a joke. It may be a calamity to him.
He may suffer torture every time any one
looks at IL Going down town may be a
long tour of dismal embarrassment.
The girl with you, to whom you are giv
ing a short course in Instruction how to
dislike you. may have the sympathy to
appreciate the man's feelings. Bhe care
fully turns her gaae to the opposite end
of the car from your victim.
"You're not looking at the right one I"
Jupiter was known as a
Chinese and Chaldeana In
plannet to the
600 B. C.
: ."'J'" . J -i - ?
KM:?S.':-;S:.-:-':'r::
r....;-.-.j.-.ir...-.-i,.Ai'
. I a
How sppnandj! I thoogbt
tfMtW might bo sosM wtc worse.
Sugar wss discovered In the Bist Indies
by Nearchus. admiral of -Alexander, In 5
B. C.
Pistols were Invented at Plaroja, Italy,
and were first used by English cavalry:
men In tftt. -
It is said that Anthemlus. Greek archi
tect and mathematician, knew the power
of steam In 633.
Eight churches have stood on the site ot
8t Paul's cathedral. The first one was
built A. D. 3.
Every Persian house la constructed on a
plan of secrecy. No windows are visible
from the streets.
The hawk files at ths rate of ISA miles
per hour; the elder duck,' ninety; the rook.
sixty, and the pigeon, fifty.
Ventriloquism Is a yery ancient art. It
was first described In 72S B. C. Greeks
ascribed It to the operations of demons.
A pair of gloves passes through about
100 hands from the moment the skin leaves
the dresser until the gloves are ppurchaaed
by the Intending wearer.
The oldest system of stenography extant
was devised la 1412. Shorthand writing was
practiced by the ancients, but their method
has not been banded down to moderns.
America's first theater was opened at
Williamsburg. Vs.. on September, i, 17M
New Tork City's first playhouse was In
Naasaa street, where performances began
In 17L1. .
Fireworks were Invented- in Europe (at
Florence, Italy) in 13M. and were exhibited
as a spectacle In 1M. Pyrotechny Is also
said te have been practiced by the Chinese
ux i-emoie axes, ? f J. J ' "
Loretta's Looking. Glass-Held Up tth'eLook at That". Girl
Name and Addresa.
Carl J. Anderson, 2919 oak St -
Lloyd Burgett, 2028 Francis St .
Joseph Beloyed, 708 Center St
EtheJ M- Barber, 1808 Van Camp Avo
Charles Burgess, 122 North Twenty-second St.
Roy Carlson, 8223 Franklin St
Ella Crosby, 1512 Locust St Lothrop 1897
Francis P. Celland, 4030 Nicholas St ...Walnut Hill ... ..1899
Desslo P. Clark. 4711 Ersklne St Walnut Hill .1908
James Chadek. 1214 Blaine St.... Edw. Rosewater ..1903
Helen R. Detweller, 3524 Dodge St..- Farnam ....... ..1897
Richard Davis,' 8108 Vinton St Windsor 1908
Hattl Doher. 3429 South Fifteenth St.. Vinton .......... 1897
Charles Q. Fishbach, 2823 Dewey Ave Farnam 1905
Endora Flandt, 921 South Twelfth St Pacific 1900
John E. Foley, 2121 Grace St Kellom .1898
Gilbert Gagnon, 813 South Twenty-fourth St Mason 1902
Mary Grazlno, 1111 South Fourteenth St Pacific ,11902
Elsie Geil. 1801 North Twenty-fourth St Long 1897
Ellen Hoyt, 2821 Dewey. Ave - Farnam .1901
Ellnore Judson, 2814 Seward St Lothrop '. . . . , . ..1903
Lula Kavan, 2709 South Nineteenth St. Castellar 1901
Lillian Larsen, 1112 Ames Ave Saratoga 1895
Jeanette LaDanceur, 919 South Thirty-third St J'ark 1903
Virgil S. Lee, 2201 Douglas St Central 1897
Bernard Monaghan, 2008 Grace St Lake 1905
Edward Motz, 3418 Franklin St Franklin 1895
Elsa Nachneber, 808 Poppleto Ave Train 1898
Grace Nurgess, 2221 South Thirty-second St Windsor ."1909
Marguerite O'Neill, 1413 North Seventeenth St Kellom 1898
John T. O'Conner, 2054 North Eighteenth St Sacred Heart .....1902
Gordon Poff, 2117 Locust St Lothrop ......... 1904
Bathilda Petersen, 2617 Decatur St Long 1898
Ruth E. Robblns, 2821 Ersklne St Long ..1901
Hortensen Roaenstock, 3506 Harney St. ....... ... . .Columbian 1902
Clara Schneider, 1720 South Fifteenth St Comenius ........1908
Clement Still mock, 2416 Elm St Vinton ........ ..1898
Edward Suchy, 1620 Pine St Comenius v, .1895
Elbert S. Wade, 124 North Twenty-fourth St...... High 1891
Robert Winter, 3343 Boyd St.... Monmouth Park ..1902
Joseph Welnfurtner, 2916 South Seventeenth St.... St. Joseph. 1900
Saving Money.
a
J
A northern woman with philanthropic
symptoms was trying to Instil a little econ
only Into her husband's tenants. One of
them, an antl-race-sutcidist, kept a colored
girl aa nurse to her group of ten growing
American cltlsens.
"alary," remarked the woman, "do you
think a woman in your clrcumstancea can
afford a nurse T"
I dunno'm, as I kin. but I don't py
her but 26 cents a month, an' I pays dat
In ole clo'es, and" with a wide smile
'she don't git dem!" Lipplncott'a
,you hiss Into her ear.
Tou act as If there were a certain clever
ness In your having detected the nose; and.,
by the right of disooVery you have achieved
the privilege of exploitation. Tour com
panion Is in a cold sweat ot fear lest the
already afflicted man should be made more
miserable .by your rudeness.
"Tea, yes I know," she says, without
turning her gase toward the man and with
a vain notion of shutting you up.
But you are not the sbuttlng-up kind.
Tou insist upon her seeing the sight you
have to display. - '
"N6, you don't see the one t mean. He's
over there, the second from tho front end.
Juet look at bis nosel Isn't It awful T"
you continue, with a fervor.of exirt-ession
that makes your voice carry painfully.
The girl with you suffers the. embar
rassment that you have not the sense to
feel. Bhe is finally forced, as a last resort
snd with the hope of silencing you, to turn,
and look. Every one around the two of
you Is making the uncomplimentary mental
comments which her sensitive imagination
can easily picture. Bhe feels humllated.
But you why, you are enjoying your
self. ' '
Tou have caught sight of a novel trim
ming on the gown of a lady opposite.
"Just look at that brald-the way It's
put on. Odd. Isn't ItT Do you like It?" you
ask.
Of course the braided lady knows you
are talking about her. And it 'makes her
nervous. Bhe shifts and squirms and tries
to look unconscious. And your Companion
registers a solemn vow never to go out
with you again, . .
, One of your kind met a man once who
was her match. She sat behind him at
the theater and observed his huge ears.
"Mercy! Look at that man's ears!
she exclaimed with the carelessly distinct
speech of the chronic "look at that" girl
Bhe continued td exclaim and remark till
her escort trembled lest the man in front
was preparing a return for all her objec
tionable attention.
Again he burst out, "Did you ever see
such ears!"
The man turned. He spoke.
"Madame, you must be tired of sucb
prolonged contemplation of my ears! Have
a look at my nose for a change!" and he
rose and faced her, calmly submitting his
feature to her scrutiny till the curtain
was rung up.
She nearly died of embarrassment. What
a pity the same near-extermination method
cannot be .tried on you!
tCopyrtght, 1U. by the N. T.' Herald Co.)
"Offhand" Work.
3
A young woman prominent In the social
set of an Ohio town tells of a young man
there who had not familiarised himself with
the forms of polite correspondence to the
fullest extent When, on one occasion, he
found It necessary to decline an Invitation,
he did so In the following terms:
"Mr. Henry Blank declines with pleasure
Mrs. Wood's Invitation for the nineteenth.
and thanks her extremely for having given
him the opportunity of doing so. Lippln
cott'a. flaillSfESZaSS
Evolution of a Vase
Bertie Prqposed-Then Woke Up
j
Scene: A home of wealth. Including
'everything that money can buy." A
charming looking young girl is seated lan
guidly on a couch, In her hand a French
novel. Enter, a young man, dressed with
great attention to detail. . As he enters, he
glances about to see that no one else Is
present.
He: Hello, glrllet '
She:.. Dear me, Bertie; you almost
startled me. Where did you come fromT
Thought you were aviating.
He: Weather too rough. Now, what do
you suppose I came forT
She: How abrupt you are! not at all
your usual manner.
.He: Well, why shouldn't 1 be excited
about It? I am going to do something Im
portant, s
Phe: I can scarcely believe It. By the
way, did you win the tournament yester
day? He: No. Blmply rotten. Cleever got It
away from me by two holes.
She: Tou are not In condition this year.
What a up with you, any way? Tou
haven't gone stale, have you?
He (throwing himself in a chair): No;
but I've got something on my mind.
fines Out with 4L .
He: I am thinking of Setting married.
She: Well, why don't you? It might be
the best thing In the world.
He: I am thinking of marrying you.
Bhe (straightening up suddenly and star
ing at him): Tou don't really mean It!
He: Tea, I do. It's been on my mind
for a long time. I can't soem to get It out.
Now, little one. don't you think it would
be a good thing? Tou know I can't say
what I want to; but I mean It Juat the
same.
Bhe: What perfect nonsense!
He: Now, old fellow, be sensible! I
mean It Of course It would make talk
we've been together so much, you know
but why wouldn't it be a good thing? Tou
may think I have no idea about business,
Just because I haven't bnn In It now, that
sort of thing makes me tl.-ed Just because
I haven't been grubbing over a set of
ledgprs all my life. I don't think about
those things. I tell you, glrlee, I am Juat
as cautious as they make 'em. (Ioks at
her appeaJlngly.) Do you suppose I would
go Into a thing like th's unless I had
doped It all out? Not much! I know
where I stand. And I'm thinking of you,
too. Why, we'd have an Immense time.
Tou know I never get cross you couldn't
ruffle me!
She: Do you know, that's what I like
about you, Bertie. I must say you have a
good disposition. How much money have
you got?
He: Well, I have only got ten thou a
year now, but you know grandfather will
fix me up with twenty more. He's getting
grocgy he won't last more than a esr.
A nice old chap, too. Always been square
with me. Cot me out of no end of trouble
and I've seen It! That's another thing,
OlMe, you want to consider. I'm no cal
low thing. I've seen all sorts of trouble.
I've bees up against It It makes a fellow
broad. I can UU you. and it would bo a
help to you. '
She (ignoring his appeal to the gallery):
Where would wo Bve?
He: Anywhere you say. I sm not fussy
about that, you know. We might chase
around the eontlneat for a year or so.
Bhe: I'm sick of It
He: Well, how would a nice, comfy little
bungalow do? Where we could .
She: What do you take me for? Don't
you suppose I want some pleasure? And
the first year of married life! Tou see bow
It la (desperately). Wo never oould settle
upon anything. Tou are a nice boy, but
you have no decision.
He: Oh, you can't get me huffy. Olve me
a little time. I'll plan something good
original. Tou know I got up the circus
for Van Antlers last year, and think of
the run it bad. Trust me. Well, what do
you say?
She (sparing around at him): Can't you
maks love?
He (growing more self-conscious): Sure
I can. I ought to know how. But I didn't
suppose you Why, It Isn't the thing
somehow it doesn't seem to fit in. Tou
know I think the world of you, Ollle. I'm
Just craxy about you you ought to know
that (In a hurt tone).
She: American fellows are all the same.
They don't know. Why, the worst little
bounder of a Frenchman can give you
cards and spades and one actually be
lieves him!
He: What do you want me to do?
She That's a lovely question to ask. I
don't want you to make love, please. Just
because I spoke of It I didn't really mean
It, any way.
He (eagerly): Well, what do you ssy,
dearie. Is It a go?
Bhe: Why, my dear boy, you don't read
the papers, do you?
He: What do you mean? .
Bhe (pushing over a newspaper): Hero's
my engagement announced to Lord JefOee.
You might have beard It at the club, if
you had asked.
He (blankly looking at the notice; then
recovering slightly, in a frown): Why dlda't
you teUV me this before?
Bhe: Why, my dear boy! How did I know
that you were In love with me? I saw you
almost every day, and you never even
mentioned the matter. Thomas I. Ilaasoa
In Upplncott s.
Quickwitted.
H
J
An Irishman recently found himself In a
bad predicament when. In attempting to
evade the onslaughts of a savage dog, as
sistance came In the shape of his wife.
When the woman came up, the dog had
fastened his teeth In the calf of her bus.
band's leg and was holding on for dear
life. Seizing a stone In the road, the Irish,
man's wife was about to hurl It, when the
husband, with wonderful presence of mind,
shouted:
'Mary! Mary! Don't throw the stone
at ths dog! Throw It at me!" Llpplnoott's.
tlstorr ptjmam
f
Itbootyosjlasl
"Am rrc Mbred tv