Tim BEE; OMAHA. TUKSDAY, JtTLY 4. 1311.
azirp p)a
Told ly the TrouHcd Timist
The BEES cliuniy Book
This is fhe
Day We
mm
3nsjas & ewtffhwthi 4Mte ax YarffesJChi tw
MIsw ' anient That Um4 tita wWtfa
mVBmt awut tnr Jnttf attar a 1mm
tmiiilfjp (Hips wessm.'" toibW Or TjwMhI
SmM'ai t cMbfltr amstedexa Mi
Celebrate -
. "nasi Snag ten AraTV t-ns Oast hens; a:
It an the tweaty-Cre-www
to fee paid rtgaJ
aasd aw hadtadtaa mN
bsasa Uirrt aaat
ffcadr ALT rUfcaa; aa4
t Use fatts
Ha
ri
lit
3 T.
to tfcas 1M starr. the bm
laif Jo eajslaiil a tww
a ansa, sartnc BaL oC Fwd
Ha U say whag the) feed VIII waa.
. atam breauaat with Just
whether It wa for a
fa
Th aJr. Pa oaa remember bow
that I awar at that I didn't par for was
a haaa and eggs at raUlraad
'In east wort a good many years
Wa esxapped torn minutoa for rvftpaah
Baaata at a water tank, station, that had a
wrar a. window leailiin
: AXX. JCXKTJS QF KOOa.
Wheat tha trata asjuipped a husky man wita
a Barilla haeta and a fi ued aproa earn
tha-atatJom beatms. oa a tin pan
I T mifl say w
V t wtwthar it m a slali
, fLmOmm amd haar. ar
V
" "f ttemefht Sraaa tha alga ha waa a nat
r"Bat said, a faUoar who aat aeroaavJthe
aW ftaaa nan, Trot that tons meaaa grub
saae ear eawt. Coma ao.'
.rr nd 1 rvw4 r 'm
We wtHr feaaa oa tha aide, and my friend
I liiaa Ota alala preferred 'am scrambled.-
la, of retnutaa ar as tha lanch
a. dlah la Croat at warn with a
van-arnd agar, and a ehirak
saw-ass It... I waan't wash lnqwasaed
taa aopaaraooa of tha an. bat UU
"WE STOPPW TEV WTN7JTK3 FOR RB-
It while ha ast tha scrambta bafttra my
frtead.
fr Wow trTelr got a war with his
dish ta a horrr and tha lunch man, aara:
"Two dollar plaaavr
-Wa both atartad to hollw at mm, bat
tha lunch maa had raachd uadr tha
counter and brought up a cub foot' and
a half 'on.
"Coma aerosar Bars ha..
TOt ttiemi um ers flnst. hut It Was
Mh a -saomd in two f lft. aad whUa
awy n hiatfac away 1 Jut wi at
Oa aareKt -RlKdJiar Uratajt th mo,
t wamtrd tia trt tha tJav aarwaw. I
3iJa tha jrisaJArai f tfaa lait ar a it
pnliad nt nd left my -trtf n t aia w
tha kk. I mam-ma I ooisM ta wt fcr
and remit C taasasClpa ju afiur,
bat I draft knot witDmi B ami It to.
Cknsi4cht, S0. T tha X. T- HcraU OaJ
Fair Women of the White House
1 IatlUa ChriotUa Trior, wlfa of tha tenth
I J praaldant. John Tylar, waa born In Cadar.
Orara, In Virginia, on tha ltth of Novera-
tmr, OMl Bba dld in tha WMto Houaa, dur
ln bar husband' administration, on tha
MUk al Saptamber, 1SU. ......
- Bba . waa tha daughter of Robert Chris
tian, a. Virginia planter and a roan of im
portance politically and socially. 8ha waa
' a charnlna;- young .woman In . her. early
twenties when ah;-waa wedded to John
Tyler, a rising young lawyer, the eon- of
ernor Tyler of Virginia, on the 29th of
ritfota, J813, her buiand's birthday.
The -roung -people began .thai,' -married
Ufa lnGhnrlea City county,, un a. part of
Green wty, the estate of the elder Tyler.
Th young- bridegroom was fond of tnuslo
end petetr, and Mr v Tyler Inspired a
serle of sonnett from the' pe.. of her bus
' band. " I ::- .' .
Mrs. Tjtjer was a Cery sweet and amiable
. women -who rather shunned publicity. On
,tha detKv6f prrdent Harrison one month'
after 'his' Inauguration, John Tj;ler, vice
ITosldent, assumed tha position, and lira. '
TyKr, proceeded. AltH him' to the White
HousaV.ifer . health was delicate, however,
and she rarely appeared at public functions."
Her, daughter-in-law, Mrs. Robert Tyler,
described! ber.:.aftfieranoe -t the marrlave
V of her, 4Wrd tdaughter, Eilsabeth. In the
J Whlta'HOuse', on 'the Slat of January, 1812. "
r Our dear mother was downatalra," writes
I StV-yRobert Tyler, "on this occasion for
I therst time In so large a circle since sh
has been in Washington. Bhe gained' by
OA
ft
V
'
nan' IfVK
ey ' ;
fWMAT fi)YIrOK
ii I- Tm i. 1 1 '-mwii ai i tn ' IlMaawi
comparison with, all the fine ladles around
her. I felt proud of her In her perfectly
faultless yet.atentatlous dress, her face
Bhaded ' by' the soft. . fine . lace of her cap.
receiving In her sweet, gentle, self-possessed
manner all the Important people who were
led up and presented to her. Bhe was. far
more .attractive ;to tno In her.. Appearance
than any .'other lady in the room,' and sucb
I believe was the general Impression."
It -was Mrs. Robert : Tyler who usually
officiated for her mother-in-law. She was
the daughter" 'of Thomas Cooper, the emi
nent tragedian. Her mother was the daugh-tor-of
Major Falrlee. a distinguished officer
lit the-revolutionary war.
(Copyright, I9U,' by the N. T. Herald Cb3
ka s
-"Toast'HiLtheTank
i Loretta's Looking Glass-Held Up to the Girl Who Pokes
Toast and toasters wer old stories In
Shakespeare's times. We have frequent
references to both In his plays.. The cooks
of the day must have made a better variety
of tbaat than t.la average American cook
turn out, for the custom of putting a bit
In the bottom of the tankard before pour
ing the liquor was established.
From a number of the fashionable Tatler,
bearing data June 4. 170V'-w learn' the
origin of tha terra "toast,", as applied' to a
relgnjng belle or, mora widely, to a senti
ment uttered by tha " one offering the
"toast" to be drunk. Wa use the phrase
so nVturally now that wa never bethink us
of tha origin. Two hundred years ago the
Tatfer thought It necessary to explain to
readVs that the "allusion waa to the usage
of le times of drinking with a toast In
theHwttom of the glass."
How many, even of the acholars who
offer them at class-day anniversaries, know
hey are "toastaT" J
What reader of Kngllsh poetry does not
recall tha awing and tha ring of "Tha
Three Troopere":
In each of tha cups they dropped a crust
And stared at the guvsta lih a frown;
Tbea drew their swords and roared for a
,, toast . ,
"God send this Crum-well down!"
Crust" and "orumb" stand for the
toast without which posset, ate and sack
. .. J
would not be quite to the Boston's tan.
The bit of toasted bread in the bottom of
tankard or wine glass must have been thin
'and deftcately' crisp, or It would have con
verted aack and wine Into pap.
It Is not fun that you poYe. What a
blessing If there were soma fun about your
performance. ,. But there is nothing but
Irritation and exasperation to be extracted.
For you poke yourself.
You are the girl who Is always mooning
along a crowded railway platform when a
man whose last cent will bo nkhi ,,n h-
j his business enemies If be does not arrive
j in time to feed them something else. Is try
i ing to catch the outgoing train. He en
. countera you, dawdling toward the en
trance or meandering toward your car. He
leapa wldly from aide to side, and you
wobble and weave in your aimless, vacil
lating progreaa till ho ta ready to beat you
down and. walk over you. Of course, a
Points that Stick.
It's all rltiht to have one-sided views If
you only look on , the' bright side.
It la naturally the straight and narrow
path for those who are paying for the new
pavement.
Wa ones heard of a"" woman who could
talk, but would not. Wa have also beard
other curious things. , '.' "-.
Every man believes that ha is a 'born
leader, but the majority are unable to find
a procession to head.
Even a modest girl has been, known to
engage In a flirtation for the purpose of
making some other girl miserable. Chicago
News.
Vp-ta-Uate Speeches.
"The dialogue sounds Ilka, modern, snappy
stuff," said the man who was-standing in
the theater lobby, "but (he plot la a little
vague."
"That Isn't a rehearsal you are listening
to," replied the manager. "That's a parrot
that my wife made me bring down town
because its languuxe was too strong for
the house." Washington Star.
Otto's Auto and Other Bits of Poetry
i OTTO'g AUTO.
Toting Otto bought an auto, which he
. ought to not have done
Till ie had studied fully how an auto ought
. to run;
But Otto dlqjn't do It, so ha had himself to
thank-
Thai when Otto cranked the auto, why
young Ott was tha cratik.
Fori Otto left the auto with the lever
pushed to "go,"
Whpo he ought to have reversed It, with
-the power shut off. you know;
So When Otto cranked the auto, the auto
.gave a lamp
Ana landed otto aprawling, with an auto-
. malic thump.
But. Otto grabbed the auto as the auto
tauioea.uy, .'
B Otto and the auto adown the street
oia nyj
at a speed that auto the luckless Otto
I - .wniriea .
rXAke an automatic autocrat who thinks be
-.owns tbe world.
While the auto-hating public stood and
watched the auto rash
Till tit rail aaatnvt a lamp post wtth a most
- terriflo crash!
Then they sadly laid poor Otto, who had
loot hla aoto seat. -
Where the autos erase from troubling and
.-. the OltJ are at reat.
soston uiooa.
J
MODERN NATURE iRir
'a write of the wonders of Nature
tm now mi ai-cepiaoia aodga:
Ta trace the Nannook'a nomenclature.
And Ifirn uhd,. t - i t .
To set forth the habits of rabbits, ',
To sum up the porcupine a spines.
To mention the uses of inooses and gooses
And tell how the ocelot dines.
To trach ua to know the gorilla.
And how to tell llamas from lambs:
About what to chin. the chinchilla.
And hfkW ht.Ml.fn ,nt.M.ln ..I. .
1 P"t us on pigeons and widgeons,
na to ten now to make beavera beave.
Or how to inveigle an eagle or beagle
His highest and best to achieve
To atate all the traits of the wombat;
To show why the koulan and vole
Are always engag-rd In a combat
These stories 1 swallow down whole. '
But. still, with two questions I wrangle.
And help will not come at may call:
n hy an angleworm hasn't an angle
- And a monKon Is no goose at all!
Carolyn Wells In Harper's Weekly.
( NO ESC APS.
Once a very nervous chap'
To cross the street did try.
An auto handed hun a Uu
- . And aeni him to the sky.
." i ; J
And ere he could descend again
ne koi an awful whack;
- BotnebodV w hissing aeroplane
Just tapped hun on the bai-k.
He shot down to the river below,
He tried to keep afloat, ,
Alas, he fell a victim to
puffing motor boat!
New York Telegram.-
r
Nubs of Knowledge
J
To practls - hyonoillBm fa fliUer.i in tai
- - - ew-
glum. .
An ordinary piano contains a mil.
piano wire.
Sugar Is found more or leas In all vv.
table substances. .
The ropes for. a flrstJclaaa minif.n.
cost about $15,000.
In Persia the man who laua-ha la Ann.
stdered effeminate, but free license la given
to female merriment.
A single cocoon of the ordinary silkworm
will, frequently give a double thread 1,100
feet In length.
From a commercial point of view man Is
composed of thirteen elements, of which
five sre gases and eight are solids.
. Socialism was first referred to In the
year 8S.. Original work on the subject
was - published In 1516 and waa entitled
"Utopia." '
DoHore assert that baked Dotatoa
more nutritious than those cooked in an
other way and that fried ones are tha moat
difficult to digest.
respect for himself and you and tha law
prevents; but nothing prevents his Ireful
rebellion against your poking from en
wrapping you In an eura of awfulness.
It's really a pity he does not say the things
ha thinks and feels as he misses bis train
by a bare foot or two and contemplates
your responsibility for the loss of his
money.
Tou ought really to have to pay damages.
And you are the girl who pokea along
when a nice man aska you- to go for a
walk. Tou lop and flop and laxe till be la
ready to fly from you. Nothing Is quite
so trying to a walker's patience as a com
panion who dangles about two feet In the
rear. Tou always do It And you get to
oe a drag on a man s mind as well as his
steps. The strain could hardly be worse
If you seised him by tha coattails and
sledded along behind him. He has the
sensation of pulling you with him by
main force.
You are also tbe girl who moves at
snail's pace along a thoroughfare where
othera are hurrying On tha rapid
stream of the quick-pacing populace you
move like a heavy log. Into , you the
woman with an - encasement at the de
partment atora bumps. Eha has to apolo
gue, it lanes time. But aha doea not
mind that so much as she does the dis
quieting consciousness that you think be
cause you have no business to attend to
that na one else has..
The polioeman. , worried by the resoon-
slblllty of directing tha traffic, ahovea you
gently In the back to get you to locdmote
at a pace which will permit the atrln
of street cars and automobiles to get ahead.
xou never seem to realize that anybody
has to gat anywhere quickly. You adant
the time schedule of tha universe to your
poky preferences.
And there's certain to be this about you.
you ara as alow, as weakly-wobbling in
your ideas as you ara In your walking.
Do you know that its one of the algns of
mental deficiency not to be able to put your
feet down firmly and operate your legs
quickly and with precision. Yes, it la
And you have never appreciated the fact
that you are not as quick In mind as you
might be. But you can count on It that
othera have.
Maybe I ara not fully informed, but I
anow oi only one time when a girl can
afford to poke. That la on a secluded path
when the moonlight filters In silver ara
besques on the ground. Every tiny leaf
casts the ghosts of Its own tender shadow
down. And tha man beside you watches
the little ghosts fly softly across the
curves of your warm cheeks and seek them-
selves in the velvet depth of your of your
eyes, I almost said. But not The time of
of the moonlight walk never comes for
you. xou pone too much. No man cares
to saunter slowly with a girl who never
does anything else. He wants to take
that walk with ona who knows how to
"step lively" when there la a need for
speed.
f
New Words to Old Tunes. (
. J
-'Tla never too late to spend.
As a man prlmpeth so is ha.
. Bachelor: as you sew so also shall you
rip.
Ona good love deserves another Is tha
theory of the lady-killer.
A switch In time saves the situation.
" Ha who flirts ard runs away lives to flirt
another day.
July 4, 1911.
GORDON SMITH.
M0 Uewey Ave.
To a lady card 'fiend a good game Is
rather to be chosen than great riches.
Talebearers, like Mary's lamb, when they
come home leave their wails behind them. '
He who hesitates la bossed.
.When there Is the devil to pay tha price
Is not considered.
There's many a sup 'twlxt the proposal
snd the marriage ceremony. -
If wishes were automobiles millionaires
would fly. Sophia Irene Loeb in Pittsburg
Dispatch. x
Baby Mine and the Foxy Dog
- 4
n tm a amassassn aasssaaaaatasssssasssassaas mm i r " M . Sj W
"Bad dofjyl Co wiy
"Good doggy!
Bring bby
Axala Arfccrmaa. SIX XortJk Dtitanlk St
Kstner Andaraon. silt Booth Fifth St...........
William Baaermetgtgr, 8448 Maadertjom 8t
Ktie Barrett, 1411 gouth Eighth Bt
Helen O. Bra (It, 4731 North Fortlath St. .'
Mable Hauler, 13J South Sixteenth Bt
Sherman Bonnie. 1515 Dorcas St i.:J '..
Berwl Cherrek, 1514 South Twanty-fltth St.
uname Cela. 101T Homer St . i .
Leona H. Corrlgan. SOU Worth St. . . . ; . . 1 . . . . .
uonaia Crow. 408 South Fortieth Bt. '
Vida Curry, Ilia North Forty-third Ate
Carl Christengen, 4001 North Twenty-eighth Ar.,.
Peter Dlno, 1118 Pierce) St.
Oscar Deniaon. 1621 Blondo St. ........
Frank Fried rich, 801 .Emmet St. ..'.'.
Aater Ferer, 1911 Paul St -..n...,,.'
Matilda Faler, 514 South Tenth 8t-;.'...;.....
John Faler, 1531 Parker St. .........
Edwin Gould. 11 Blnney 8t-...;.i......M.fc.
William Good. 1518 Wirt St..
Vincent Grace. 8618 Indiana At. .. ...... .. ....
Manuel Meyer Grose, 601 South !VetT-eCo4 St.
Claim Greens?, 1018 North Twenty-fim St. ...
Martin Hansen, 1818 Pratt St. . . . . . . . . u.-. . . .
Robert N. Houghton, 1601 North Thirtieth Bt....
Rosalia Herts, 1636 South Seventh St......
Bertha Hartmann, Fifty-fourth Bt. and Lincoln. Ave..
Edgar S. Holsten, 8341 Fowler At.
Albert Joslln, 1107 South Twelfth St.....,.,,...,.
Goldle Jensen, 1108 South Sixteenth St..
William Hay Krelle. 1705 Wool worth Are..-......
Edwin Kramer, 1403 South Seventeenth Bt. ..... .
Elisabeth Koopman, 1476 South Eighteenth St
Gladys Larganecker, 1018 St Mary's Are.
Mildred Loftman, 1115 South Thirty-fourth St
Leo Lyons. 1318 Jackson St
Madelene McKenna. 611 William St. .'
ran Motis, 418 Walnut St ...
Evelyn M. Nelson, 2134 Ohio St.........
uay B. ochsenben. 1413 Wirt St....
John O'Rourke, 8408 Farnam St....
jurnest Olson,, 2508 South Twentleth.Avo. . ... . . ... .
John Palmer, 1416 North Twent7-seeond St; ; . . , . .
George Rasmussen, 2110 Manderson St. . .. . ......
Madeline Roberta, 1414 Leavenworth '. St. .
John W. Rogers, 621 North Fifteenth St. ..;
Wyra-J. Riley, 2315 South Twenty-ninth Bt .... .
CahlH Riley, 923 South Fortieth St. . . . . :
Walter George Ramely, 4533 Marcy-St. l.
John William Raue, 614 North Twenty-aeventh St. .
Isabella Radman, 947 North TwentHlfth St..
Madeline Rossiter, 2306 Nerth Tweotyeond St. ..
Curtis a Shears, C04 8outh Thirty-fifth t. 1. . .
Gordon A. Smith, 8910 Dewey Ave..;.. ..
Martha Schottan, 3705 South Eighteenth St.......
Anna M. Schinker, 2202 South Fifteenth St. .... ...
Lousa Tennebaum, 1441 Bouth Slztoeath'St.......
Carrie unnr, 1782 Bouth Fourteenth St
Marrsrst N TTIIarv aena v-vii o. -
- . rf , ..vv IWIKiU Dli , . .
RnbArts'Vsn rm..ii , a a tt. -n a.' - -
Nannie Verne Dearmont, 8312 Meredith Are..;....
Herman WraBse, 626 Bouth Twenty-fifth Are. . . ". .
Frank Welch, 8018 Oak St ...i'..v;.-....
Paul Wachtler. 1316 Vinton St.. .
BchocJ. Year.
Cass , l04
.Bancroft ,.1901
. Lothrop .........1901
4 Bancroft ........1908
High
'.1903
. . .1897
...1894
.Cast ells r ,.1896
.Castellar 1.1906
. Im. Conception. ... 1899
. Edw. Rose water. .,1903
. Farnam . .
.. High . . ... .
IUgh 1894
.Druid Hill 1SD1
.Pacific 1901
Long .13J5
. Howard Kennedy: .1898
. Kellom i, , 18 04
.Pacific .. .1904
.Long . . .. . M . .-. .1898
.Lothrop .1897
.Sacred Heart. ... .1903
.Kellom ..........1894
.High .............. .1895
.Lake 1901
.D-uld Hill .... ....1898 .
Howard Kennedy.. 1899
..Bancroft 1904 '
- Beals . ..1901
.Monmouth Park.'. .1899
.Paclfio ...1896
.Castellar ........1803
.Park .....1905
.Comenlus .......1895'
.Castellar '.....,..1905
. Mason ......... .1904
'.Windsor ......'. ..1904
.Leavenworth .....1903
.Train ........... 1898
.Train .1902
. I-ake . .1905
.Lothrop 1899
. Farnam .1903 .
.Castellar ...... ,.1904
. Kellom . .1903
.'Lothrop i S 9 5
. Leavenworth i ..... .1 8 9 9 -
.Cass ....... ; ...1905
. Dupont . . .' . .'i 1898
; Columbian .......1904.
.Columbian 1904
.Webster 1903 ,
.Kellom .1897 .
.Lake .1897 '
.Columbian .......1901
.Columbian .......1904
.German Lutheran. 1897
.St Joseph .'.1905
. Comenius ........ .1895
Comenlus ...... ..1903
Long .....1901
.Farnam 1903
.High 1893
.Farnam ......... .1896
Windsor .....'....1901
. Bt Joseph
r
Lay of the HoalIiobby ist j
"Well, I sea that tha fellow who rooks
tha rowboal broka out In N.w Iihm ua !
was swatted," grinned the Chair Warmer.
"Yep. The band that rocks tha rowboax
Is tha one that fools tha world." para
phrased tha Hotel Lobbyist. Borne consider
able surprise to him when tha rude person
who waa with him rocked him with a
amear on the eya and knocked him into tha
water, though. That's no way to use a per
fectly harmless, petrified dome who hasn't
drowned a single woman or child. No way
at all. Ha was merely expreaslng his gay
animal spirits and ha should have suf
fered nothing worse than having a rook
hung about his neck and then have been
dipped upside down tote tha water and left
there an hour or two. I'm against that cruel
stuff.
Tm glad to sea that the raagistrate be
fore whom he was arraigned was not ae
cruel aa to coop the party up tor tha sum
mer. That will give his recklets time to
practice during tha hot moatha and maybe
who knows ha might be able to turn a
boat clear over some time, and that will
help some, even If ha la all alone.
"Let ua cheer up, though. Even If tbe
Jolly rocketer who ought to bo allowed to
rock a rock pile with a hammer for a while,
if suppressed at the very outburst I mean
outset of the silly season, we can hoea
that the remainder of tha foolish tribe, will
stay on the Job all summer.
"Now that the glad day for thoughtful
celebration of our nation's eheatinese Is at
band wa can depend upon the prominent
patriots to uphold our ancient traditions.
Tha fellow who always blows down the
gun muxzle and then loses his heal over
the matter will be In full flower. Think It
over. Can you Imagine why a sensible pereoa
should or ahould not blow down tha fane
ef a loaded guar It must be lots at sport,
although I'm too much of a mollycoddle
to try It.
"Then there Is our old friend who goes
out to sea why tha giant cracker failed to
crack. Ha Invariably finds out, but aever
leavea any data for scientists ta be guided
by In future experiments. Ha seldom
leaves anything, even a respectable amount
of fingers. And as for the party who starts
In as chauffeur to a small brass eartaoa
without having taken aver a eorreapond
euce course he'll be mlased. too, but not
by the. cannon.
"Then wait for tha big show at night,
when the annual boob Insists on holding
a large skyrocket In hla band while shoot
ing it shooting the rocket, not his head, I
mean." -
"fools are funny, " said Ua Chair
m
-' "FOOL!"
Warmer. s .
, -"A. fool and his f unnybone are''.- Soon
parted." replied the Hotel Lobbyist, - .
(Copyright, 1W, by New York, Herald Ce J
Stung to the Quick
araasaa
'
J CMvaUrous Mr. Jones purposely dropped
sv fifty-cant piece at ' the foot of a poorly '
6eaaed woman who passed through- the
"kway turnstile loudly lamenting that tha
ticket agent had cheated her out of half a
dollar, than ha picked the money up and
gave it te bar.
, TExemae me, madams," said Mr. Jones
"I think you dropped thin," ,
Xh, no," she said, "It can't be mine,
sHrfaatts yoa dropped It yourself."
. "Oh. no," said Mr. Jones. "It ta yours, t
I picked It tip Just aa yoaj .
Saw taok the money and hurried aftew
another maa who had passes' at the Urns
the saeaMry dropped.
, air,- she said, -I think 704
said the ether maa. and
train that was ready
' Whai Jeetaa said was strictly to hlmaelf;
kut bis taoe hart him ail dafNew TorM
Time,
Thanka,"
Owtoa" te heavy galas In March. 1301,
taady Hawk waa separated from the main
land and became ax, Uiaiul.
