t 1
TIIE BEE: OMAHA, MONDAY, JULY 3, 1911.
9
The
Ma
azirp
E e e o
hi
J
r
f 1 aske(f
: 1? It ha
J v. they
r M "
E d
.Lay of the Hotel Lobbyist
"Ort mtleMa of that convention of
sdlc!'' who" assert' trie" newspapers to run
all suicides on a' separate yellow sheet,"
observed the Chair Warmer, "I suppose
th M. XL'a-knoss.Just Jww. to run a news
paper."
"Yep. And they could run a hotel, or
writ a libretto, without any previous
training, too.". "agreed; ,the Hotl Lobbyist.
"And you -OTrtit e heeax them scorch when
a newspaper, tries, 4 explain to Its readers
the detail of an 'operation .or a disease.
They know Ul(rtit bones. 'too, ,snd can
tall you, that a" reborter or editor Is one
olid bona from the shoulder up,, Mo, won
der they can tell Just how to orlnt news.
"Still, even: thfdullst ;can learn from
tha wisest. The medical profession Is about
as near to fne-lofera'allsflo' as any except
rng bartendloer. -I'M elolans ar either for
fifc2lt.,n Popl or laying them open, same
as newspaper persons. Surfreons would
make grand tiV copy i readers. A re
1 porter friend '.of, mine ' told me that a
f copy resderCls-th trlinnnh of experience
over hope, whatever -that means. And an
eeathetiser would make superior editorial
writers. ArrdVlrhif wo're potting the doc's
on the staff. why 10 t--sfa.ee Kink George
set the stvle-njuk-j Dr. Osier the Knight
Editor? ChftTofdrm;' Wck-'
"nut aboiftrttls request of the medlral
convention b f rlnt ell sulqldcs on a yellow
sheet, so that flagotty people can throw It
away without reading. They cite the fact
that some newspapers print base ball and
other brutar'iorts .on pink or green or
other colored hei.-f.Vjn argument! Fine
argument! ThetsSoJj; there ar colored
sporting eht-eYS la TiiTt so that readers can
throw them awav. but tjj iliat the tumgry
fans can get to it at dn'ca and devour It.
"However, to -Sur 'woof ackdule! Why
,'f they like the Idea why limit tha color
I Brit;iseiub Men
KiiRltah llor dealers are filled with sor
row aa the result of a 'new erase now In
vogue throughout 'the ' kingdom.' All al
vogue mrouRnnui ihw niuiuuin. j-.ii
cohoir'o ipfiifci rMv'een. superseded , by
, barley wfrt-rVy;-0"; .fir,.--
t coholto
In the..too oliLiit." eald one , wine
seller, dlsctxwimV Us Wew Vork Amer
ican the 'xirsorn'fnry..Change which has
come over tHiAeuW people, "not fur
ther;ba;k :thag'ieu'grandfather..the Brit
ish constitution Svw' nourished ,on port
wine. '- ' rt'&'f ' "
"RegardJeB-a5o,UV being Btordup
for their iot'i "old English gentle
ma, of the Iftt.. Georgian and early Vlo-
' Jrian. periods dranka greaj, deal of red
Trine! and ,miii$rH-t- essential for the
T welfare of l.lAwt' "The tradition ' lln-
gerea mrougn ,u,,"
thougn the 'three-bottle niah' began to
drop. f f In London clubs.
"Later the fcablts ot society changed.
Whisky ta?ltttheace'.o.f ;wlne among
1 clubmVn. and. la still the favored drink
among thosa -.wnwealre akoobollo all mu
tant. (Btit'werfierSks dtan tha budget
or tflf aoclet, jfeponUng pf Ita alns, th,
curioas faietlj no aftabliahed . that In
the cluba of fct. James .street and MayfaJr
the f4vorlt'lrlJj:ll i-bartey water.; .
"Some tlm.e ,g;Q; tii cluba ued Jlo pro
vide 'barley water for a few clubmen who
for It free of charge. Bnt now that
become such,, an established habit
make a charge of dents for a glass
barley water, with a daah of lemon In
la not old fellow with gout ana in-
tlon who wrinlc this poor stuff, but
what I may call the 'yonng Woods' 01 so
ciety. ,
"Tha peninsular war wa not fought on
barley water. The , eta-mlna of. our old
stock ; la not aikly .to.. be kept strong and
sturdy by oVinklng gruel .ftfor old maid
I and tkeir pussy Vats.' Bless my soul, their
yyathera and grandfather tooTr'thelr bottle
ot port Ilk gentlemen and were all the
better, for Jt. jWley, water ly . That, mean
the fpeedy desthictlon of the 'British em
pire.?. ' . .
On; the other hand, philosopher, who
ar pot rlntt hlRper. Jv1- k. If
ober '. and, temperate young manhood Is
not a fine siiejf Wth nation, and If this
barley water hablt'doea'Tiot Indicate that
young men of today ar moi fit 1 A "brain
and body for the gTeat adventure ot life
I tnan hose who took early 'morning nip.
; Hvj'.rOii'5cea7onet' wli
wha Javshu Kkth ; Would you
call ft. 'irctty?" "
'I rnliht (f J were talkin to
ISO.THAT Be'THC
KlfiG- '
I .4' v ! . t - ' ' .
"COPY READEH."
ache me to yellow suicide sheets? Let me
suggest' to editors that . thiy have a
separate lemon colored sheet for mnrriages
and divorces, a gold sheet for money and
market news, while news about very rich
people could be on vermilion. A aky blue
pago for aviation, pink pace for engage
ments and romances, purple page for cor
onations and news about royalty, green
page for jealousies, breach of prom lee and
swindles, blue page for coat of living and
other disasters, creme de la creme colored
page for society, drab page for the politi
cal outlook, ' and gilt for court convictions
and sentences. ' -
"But Why," sputtered the Chair
Warmer, "why not a red page P
"Oh, they'll all be read." . chortled the
Hotel Lobbyist.
(Copyright. lail by the N. T. Herald Co.)
Drink Barley Water
pre-prandial cocktails,' and after-dinner
stimulants. - Now that the "young bloods"
are drinking barley water their 'brain may
begin to work. "
A Fat Fan
The French ambassador, Jules Jiisserand.
said at a recent luncheon In Washington!
"This warm weather and the light of all
these fans remind me of a story a story
Illustrative -of the mischievous and arch
politeness oC Paris.
It la 4h .custom In Pari for the cook to
do all the marketing. This add consider
ably to the cook's income; for every dealer
allow her I centime (1 'cent) on every
frano (JO cents) she spends. So French
cooks insist on their marketing prerogative,
and the mistress who denies them it is
deemed a very mean, small, niggardly sort
of a person. , ''. ,
. VWelJ, a person 6f thl sort, elderly
wfiraan, waa In the habit of doing her pwnl
marketing In a long duster. .The duster, hid
her purchases. It prevented her, . whllel
usurping her cook s right, from being de
tected, in. tha act l '
"As the wbman,v'on hot "morning, Wa''
walking homeward In her duster from the
Marche Bt. Honors, she stumbled in 'the
Rue Hyaclnthe and a leg .of mutton fell
and rolled' across the 'sidewalk!
'A passing stranger picked up the leg of
mutton and returned It with a' bow' and
smile. -
" "Permit me, madam your fan, he
aid."
Knew His "Kin
Her Is a story which ex-Secretary et
War Dickinson tells ot how a colored man
planned to save money when his brother
died. The darky went to th station agent
in hi little town, which waa about fifty
miles from Memphis, Tenn., and asked sol
emnly: ' ,
"Boss, how .much 1 .it to fetch a corps
from hyuh to MemphlsP
. Th agent told him." ' - '
"Well, boss, how much 1 It to fetch a
corpse on a round ,trlp from hyuh to Mem
phis T'. , ,
Thl information was also given, but the
agent added: '-',
"I nevar heard of carrying a corpse on a
round trip.'!- , : .
'"Well, boss, you see. If dls 'way," ex
plained .the darky. 'Dl..Jiyuh corpse 1 my
bruvver, an' we got a lot of kiirfolk up la
Memphis. All deni kin folk' would 00 me
down hyuh to look at- d -oorp an' dey
would Jes" ' eat m outen house an home.
I thought I'd save money by. fetohin' .die
corps up dar an' lettlnv 'em take a look
at him. Pen I could bring him, back and
bury him quiet an peaceful." Rochester
Herald. : ' .
Hard PrttpoeltUa.
Toung Bachelor I - of ten wonder -.-;,-( I
am making enough-money to get married
on . -,
Old Benedict Well, v I don't know how
much ' you're . making; . but , you ain'tl
Puck. , ' . , . . '
At a congress of German aiustc teacher
tn Berlin aa earnest protest wa raised
against . what waa called "scavenger or
gutter muatc. According to th principal
speaker, thl class ot mualo take th form
of operetta ot a degrading, and silly char
acter. "
Such Things Will Happen
'YVOMDtR WrVMT5 friSIOf
ir ,
Loretta's Looking
All of th coxcombeaee do not go abroad,
fortunately for tha wise one who stay at
home and hare to listen to th returning
traveler tale a But a surprising number
teem to hav th money to make the trip.
'And when they come back from "the
oHher aids!" No' hot mouthful of musit
ever Inspired the - unfortunate who af
forded It temporary accommodations with
such peremptory eagerness to get rid of
It as you do th unwary, friend .who hap
pen to drift up against you in society.
Tou held her with a meemerio power while
yon mount your theme and gallop at break
neck speed all over Europe. And you drag
her along. With an oblivion that la th
nearest known approaoh to th lethal for
get fulness, you fall 10 1 recall that she has
spent th winters In Rom for years.
' Ton do not want to remember. Oblivion
for you, ainc it give you a chance-to de
scribe St Peters 1 Witn aa Instructive
manner only permitted to on clas of per
son In th world, th school teachers and
endured from thetn because the pupil can
sot protest you proceed to tell who Michael
Aagelo wa and what he painted. Tou hav
aa aggravating way of throwing In an you
doubtless know,' or "possibly you have
heard,' now and then, which further -impart
aa exasperating impression that your
victim 1 abort on intelligence. She begin
to think so, too. when she find herself
unable, without actual rudeness, to release
herself from your clutches. . s .
"When w were in Parts," you begin;
and there is a look of suppressed antag
onism that settles over your hearer. Noth
ing yon could aay would Interest them.
They simply will not let It. Tou hav
mad such aa unspeakable Turk of your
self in butchering their patience and bat
tering tip their self appreciation that they
refuse to allow themselves to respond to
any of th wile yon throw out a halt for
an opportunity . to tell more about your
travel. . ,
If you have th "culture era" severely
OYMAMITf IlLsOri
8Y Jh(." .
THAT fWWINE HLFVSLSl I OH OWL .taC E tN AN tcM it RF TPtiF rtJnnMv)
CffWL urioen nc cai 1 1 salk we bo why lYt9 PCCCi,v on JQY1
CTU1L.PHLW, BifT ITWTHt PARTY WILC l'wTl!! SacSneI
v.
WHT,ETMEL TH;5 13 . II OH.OICK 'WILL Vool r x, l'
INDEED A SWdPlSe! I I REALLY TAKE -W
MACHINE 16 8CHIN0 1 V WITH VOO? "j . 7?" 1 1 , T7"
THAT BAKN OVli THeB. V rfflA
WOULD 6E 0E.LICHTE.Ol f 111 . i;
TO HAVt YOU JOIN I -v-n. iloaiA' ' :
fe"PTVj'Hv -. " ' ' -
if-rr :Wv ; rrWi2. rasrssi K'
, ,. 1 , . : L: .: ; ; ;
JP- 1 "' . 1 1 1 . .. ' .V . " 1 ...",fl.1:" 1 .. '. .''.. . .... n ' --g
"1 ih'i M 1 1 ' 1 '' :-' i 'j in 1
Glass - Held Up to Girl Who Has Been Abroad
yea become a poaltlv Infliction. Tou are
always telling how they do In soma country
or other with a view tQ fixing the fashtoi)
In your own. . Paying for a stateroom and
buying the guidance of a ' Cook's courier
seemed. In your estimation, '.to have con
ferred upon you th right to enlighten the
world. Tour paper at the club may be
on the production ot pulp in Canada; but
it' a sure thing that you will manage to
make It, by some hook or crook, serve aa
a .mean to advertise th fact that you
have been ''abroad.".
The devious way you follow to show oft
your "rare advantages ot travel" would
hav given Gulliver pointers. A reference
to a, mountain 1 an excuse for you to lug
In th Alp. Tou pounce upon It and drag
th whole range Into tha conversation. -. Aa
unwary water-colorlst offar you a much
disguised opportunity. when she refer to a
On with the Dance
Among th first art dancing i th oldest
and most universal.
The eottnon originated in France, it ante
date the .quadrille, , .
The waits, tha German national dance,
began 4n 1U. That and th-to-stp ar
now th vogue. .-.-:
Under the Roman empire, pantomime and
mlmetlo dance attained a high degree of
perfection. . .-
Dancing wa Introduced by -the Hebrews
into their ' festivities, especially on- occa
sions of triumph and pleasure. 'Reference
waa first mad to on of these occasion
in H91 B. G .
Soap waa mad in 62 B. C. Business
of manufacturing it began in Londn In
1521. ,
After Bctctlow roar pip
sketch of lAk George. The English lake
suddsnly flood into th talk.
Tou have seen the only conventional
sights. And you have 'seen them .with the
gaxe of th tripper who observes the seen-
ery in treak as she file along to cover
all the ground and damp spot possible.
Yet you talk to those who know and love
scenes which .you. have-merely glimpsed
with a condescension that 1 an insult to
their Intelligence If It were not such clear
proof of your not. knowing any better.
They forgive you on th ground of pity
for your Ignorance. . But th .on who baa
not been abroad - doe not forgive your
continually thrusting th fact against her
eardrum and killing th Illusion with
which she ha anticipated seeing the sight
and wonders of th old world. . Tou mek
her decidedly tired. And Z am tailing you
so for her.
Nubs of Knowledge
J
Woolen' cloth was woven In 1151 B. C
Copper plat engraving wag tn vented la
use.
First game law
tn lW.
waa passed In England
. Dissection
In tOO B. C.
wa practised by. Democrltu
First case of drunkenness wa recorded
in 1461 B. C-
Gold and silver coin were used In Egypt
in 2000 B, C
Win wa made from rice by th Chi
nese In 1998 B. C.
Polo, which 1 described aa hockey on
horseback, I a ram of Asiatic origin
and waa Introduced Into England in 1871
Trouble i on
tttWM A eaaws
Tbiste She
ZarWe
Celebrate -
July 3, 1911.
Nam and Addresa. .
Ida Adler, 2250 Plerr St. ;
Roacoe William Anderson, 4210 Nicholas St ,
Adoipa Andcrton, 842 South Twnty-elgbth 8t
Wilson George Bertrano Twentieth and
Rebecca Brown, 1062 South Twenty-second
Gladys Bailey, 612 South Seventeenth
Graham P. Butler. 2B17 Beward St..
Graham Butler. 2213 Franklin St..
Jessie Backensen, 1509 Corby St
Ziata R. Conlan, 1824 Binney St.. . .,.
Alica B. Comstock, 216 North Twenty
Ruth Cunningham. 4619 Mason St.
Bessie Crume, 2204 North Twenty-first
Helena Carlson. 3518 Hamilton St
Frank Dlffasl, 1034 South Twenty-third
Mary. Dear mont, 3313 Meredith Are. .
Gilbert Drew, 1016 South Eleventh St
warren L. Darls, 1614 North Twenty-sixth 8t Long . ; . . , ..1904 .
Helen Grace Fahrs. 2818 North Nineteenth St .High .. i 1S95
Liouis r uerst. auaa worm Eighteenth
Violet Goodman,-2480 South Fifteenth St. . ...... . Castellar . . . . . .1904
Lily Qoldstlne. 2217 South Eleventh St... .Lincoln 1006
Viola Hlbbler, 2115 Nlcholaa St. Kellom .1901
Mildred Hill. 3522 North Twenty-eighth Bt..i Howard Kennedy.. 1897
Harry Jenkins.1' 1882 South. Sixth St.'..'. High ................ .1883
Mildred Johnson.. 3844 Hamilton St..... Walnut Hill. .... .1899
Ejlmef Jacobson, 4124 North Twenty-eighth Are. ... Saratoga ...vt. .. .1904
Helen Kaueht, 1913 Clark St.. ; Kellom, .'.,'.;. .1895
Dewey Keller, 2927 Dorcas St. . . , Dupont .,1898
Helen Kel'ey.' 8919 Korth Fortieth St.
Charles Kasper, 2501 South Twelfth' St
auiou inuuru, evos u.uiuruis ot.,
Mary E. Miller, 6315 Curtis Ave.
Rpmalne Mohrman, 3515 Howard St. .
Agnea, MeBsmore, 4065 Grand Ave.
Abe Milder, 1107 Davenport St.
Elsie Meredith, 2424 Hamilton Bt.
Margaret Noas, 5301 North Twenty-third St. .Saratoga- ........1896
VJrgil Northwall, 3715 Lincoln Boulevard. ... . .Vv, .Franklin ', V. , .1900'
Howard Price, 1621 Wirt St....
Josephine Platner,. 322 South Thirty-sixth
Virginia Pear ce, 119 South Thirty-seventh St.
Lillian 'Parsons, 21 J North Twenty-ninth St.". .
Hasel R. Roulette, 8331 Emmet St. . . . . ...I 7.
Clara Reh, 1044 Dominion 8t. ........
Zelesth H. Skrlver.' 1421-25 Military
Lawrence 8cavlo, 1117 South Fourteenth St.-. .'".Pacific ,.'.'.v
Paul Sullivan, 2216 Burdette St Lake . .v..
Silvester W. Taliaferro. 4003 Blondo .St.1'... . . ; WaJnut-'Hlll,"
Helen Turklngton; 1208 North Twenty-sixth St .Long ......
Phyllla L. Waterman. 1349 South Twenty-sixth St. Park ....'.';.'
Earl Welna, 1916 South Twenty-seventh St. Dupont . . .
Harry Weldner. 715 South Seventeenth St .Leavenworth
Grace. Weeks, 3508 Jackson St. . ...... .Columbian .,
Geraldino C. Wolfe, 5112 Martha 8t. ............. Beala .... ,.
Current Credulities
Tickling a baby causes stuttering.
A mole on-the arm Indicates riches.
A man will tall If you drop a fork at the
table....-
People with pointed teeth are not to be
trusted.
8lng after you go to bed and tear
oome before breakfast
rill
: If you shak your dress at. the new moon
you will get, a new garment. .
Button your coat wrong or draw on a
stocking inside out and mature will go
wrong that day.
Let a young woman pin a four-leaf clover
over th door and h first unmarried man
who enter will be th on ah 1 to marry.
Throwing a whole apple paring on the
floor after swinging it three time around
your head will form your true love' Initial
letter. ' ' '
. Floored Hlsa.
"Didn't you tell- me last summer that
you war going to build a concrete house T"
asked Mlggle. . ' ,
'Ye,';, answered Oluggtn. "but after
looking over the architect' estimates I
left th house In th abstract." Life,
Newly Wed.
"I suppose, now that you ar married and
settled-down, life is a struggle for bread." .
"Not exactly. It' mors of a struggle
with bread. "-Judge.
the ' Border
cenfiatrttiotw
-At
5
0
1
OERAI.DTNE WOkFE.
tUl Martha St.
School.' Year.
Mason ... ... 104
Walnut Hill... .1900
Mason . . . m, ...1115
Howard Su .Mason
, . 100
1 1 ' 1 11 0 1
8t Mason
8t Leavenworth .....105 ,
..Franklin 1904
..Long V. ...-. .-104
Lake . . . . .-n M . .103
....... Sacred ; Heart. . .. .1900
- sixth St. . . . Webster ... , . . ,1800
....High .V... 1893
St. ......... Lake '. ....... .1905 -
....Franklin ....... ..1898
St. .......St Phliomena. . . ..1897 :
.'.'. ......... Monmouth Park. ..1897
.Paclflo ; . ,.-i.l897
St High. .1890
Central Park. ;.. .1904
7. ..... Bancroft . . . '..'.. IS 9 6
baunaers ...... ,.169
Central - . . . .U .-, .1902 ''
............ Columbian .'. . . . .'.1898
Central Park. . ...1898
i' ...... ..Cass . ....... .1900 '
Kellom -v. V. .. i .1896
St
. . . . Lothrop . ...1904
. . . . .ColumblRh; ; . ; . J V.1901
. . . . Columbian . . . . . ..1904
r. . .'.High'... 'titVIfV .1882
, . . .. Howard. Kennedy; .1901
, .... St. Joseph: . ; A . . . 1903
.
Ave. ....... , .Walnut .Hill.
. ...1897.
. . ,'.1900
i.. .1905'
1.905;
.... 1900 -.V.
. 1901
....1904
. .. ,1897
.'. .'.,1899
...,...190a
Curious Facts v
Mary Jones,', who died at the age of 100
years In 1773, waa two feet eight inches in
height -7
' ' : i..'.
The Newport Mercury or August .17, 1787,
Is authority, for the. statement that Philip
Macoul, who' had died thai year in. Dublin, -Ireland,
weighed 630 pounds,. and his .waist-'
coat covered seven men. a v . ..v.
The minuet.
France.
wa first oanoed la 1J In
.tttANT KINDLY BUT
'UT, aahrtar, yer shoe sertaU
era .flut i '
a;-. - T .
w
Usat. b irrc4 for suUs
wtth Hi. 1