The Omaha Daily Bek
FOUNDED BT EDWARD R08E WATER.
VICTOR ROSEWATER, EDITOR.
Entered at Omaha postdfflce as second
Class matter.
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OFFICES.
Omaha The Bw BulldlnK.
South Omh-tf.' N. Twenty-fourth St.
Council Bluffs 1 Soott Bt.
Lincoln is Little Building.
thlcano 1 Marquette Hulldfna;.
Kansas Clty-H.ance Building.
Vork84 Went Thlrty-lhlrd 8t.
W aa nine ton 2S Fourteenth 8.. N. W.
COMRE8PONDENCB.
Communications relating to ntwi and
editorial matter ahould b addressed
iHnaha Bee, hdltortai Department.
. REMITTANCES.
Remit bv draft.
at)! 1.1 Ihl Ilea Pi.hll.hln. I'nmnanv'
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Mr CIRCULATION.
48,473
BU.0,.,i?br",t' County of Douglaa, m:
lwignt JViUlame, circulation manager of
Te Baa Publishing Company, being duiy
f.w2"l, ' thmt th verage daliy oTrcula-
lion. lelta anni lA ..... 1 i . .
"Pjf for the month of May. Hill, was
,. . , ..Circulation Manager.
Bubacrlbed In my presence aod awora to
Uoro, vm uu" ut "y of June, 1911.
(Seel.) ROUEKT HIJNTER,
. - Notary Publio.
abherleers earn (ho ally Urn
9owUr tktiU aave The Bo
mailed to those. Aadroaa will ho
aga as eftea aa repeated.
The lureat curt for typhoid Is tbia
food old Nebraska ozone.
A alJttjr-foot painting is offered for
ale at a New York art Institute. How
much a foot?
The west need not be considered
woolly JuBt because of Mr. Bryan's ac
Urlty oter schedule K.
The New York board of Inebriety Is
planning retreat for Intoxicated per
sons. It should begin at the bar. .
It Is to be noted that Dr. Wiley has
had Tery little to say about how to
cook meal since he got married.
It is a slothful Kentucklan who can
not hustle around enough to get a
"coIonel," to hook onto his name.
Kaiser Wllhelm has not yet told us
what he thinks of that sample arbitra
tion treaty we sent as per orders.
At any rate, the garbage emergency
has sufficed to create a 11,100 Job for
a "superintendent" Next emergency!
"The cocktail follows the constitu
tion." observes the Stt Louis Times.
Yes and sometimes plays the mischief
with It.-too. ..xv .rv;.
The most unklndect cut of all is that
Mrs. Carrie Nation in her will repudi
ates Kansas and names Washington.
D. C, as her place of residence.
The Board of Equalization threatens
to boost the assessment on automo
biles. The autolsts would rather pay
th money into the police court
A vast treasure amounting1 to many
millions has been reported as found off
the coast of Honduras, No wonder Mr.
. . . . .
aiurgan waaioa 19 negotiate that bond
Issue. " i V ' '
There apooars tt V. movement in th.
Vnloa League club 'Jo putting Mr. Hints
under for putting V. iorlmor oyer.-In-4!
ana polls News. , r'j ,
Merely cue of the ups and downs of
politics. 'i : . ... . ; .
I
Our Twelfth ward councilman says
he has reconsidered his announced In
tention to resign. He should have
sprung It on April 1. when folks were
'due for the Joke.
The Nebraska Bute Funeral Direc
tors' association will hold Its next
year's annual convention In, Omaha.
All right. Just so long as we are
warned la advance. -v
After more mature deliberation the
Board of Trade speculators have de
cided that the wheat crop was not all
burned up after all. Small favors
thankfully received.
Twenty-nine pool halls have already
been licensed to do business In Omaha
subject to prescribe regulations. That
tells why It took so long to get action
on pool hall regulation.
The best way to admonish the police
against brutal practices Is to divorce
the police . brute from the force
promptly -whenever decapitation is In
vited by such exhibitions. - .
Collier's rants President Taft to
give Louis Brandets the next place
that opena in his cabinet, No guaranty,
however, that Mr. Brandels will then
save Uncle 8am f 1,000,000 a day as
he did for the railroads.
In his effort to be the big noise at
the coronation, our Mister Jack John
son has Invested In 11.600 wth of
clothes and Jwt are wining to venture
a reasonable sum that they will fullv
offset any disturbance raised over the
kl::g.
IA his stuck ou "King Caucus"
Congressmen Llndburgh of Minnesota
Is quoted as saying: . -
One parson euts vry llttla figure hero
ItnJeaa ho la In the swim with the boeeea,
-aa tnen nt ts worthless to the people.
We protest in behalf of our Con
gressman Lobeck, and In his name we
Ceny the allejatloa and defy the al-
. . Another Great Conspiracy.
Our old friend, Edgar Howard, In
his Columbus Telegram, this time
with the active aid of "Ig" Dunn, has
uncovered another great conspiracy,
tr perhaps we should say a con
tinuation of the old conspiracy, to
put Sir. Bryan out of commission in
the next presidential campaign. This
Is to be accomplished by packing the
Nebraska delegation to the democratic
national convention with at least fif
teen out of the sixteen delegates fa
vorable to Governor Harmon "or some
other corporation candidate," and for
the further purpose "of adopting a
platform which will be a repudiation of
every principle for which Mr. Bryan
nas contended. The opponents of
Mr. Bryan are to play a "sneak game."
They already have a slate" contain
ing a set of delegates to be elected
next spring to the democratic national
convention, and every name Is the
name of a man "ready to support a
democratic candidate acceptable to the
criminal trusts." These enemies of
Mr. Bryan are naturally emboldened
by, their easy success in turning Mr.
Bryan down last yesr In the Grand
Island convention, and look to the
same leadership, with the added pres
tige of his election as United States
senator, to repeat the performance at
the next turn.
TO spectators pa the other side of
the political fence, who have also seen
signs of the democratic storm brewing
in this state, this, of course, is all
very interesting. In fact, the editor
of The Bee months ago made a
friendly wager that Mr. Bryan would,
himself, head the delegation from Ne
braska to the next democratic national
convention If he so desired, and at all
events would control a majority of
the votes of the Nebraska delegates.
Edgar Howard, however, is correct In
signaling the danger that threatens
Mr. Bryan and his friends unless they
bestir themselves. A three-time presi
dential nominee without his own state
to back him In the national convention
would, Indeed, be a sorry figure.
Let the merry war go on.
' Crops and Sains.
Bankers and grain dealers inter
viewed as to the coming grain cron in
Nebraska and adjoining states, they
having a very direct Interest in it and
excellent means of keeping themselves
accurately Informed, to a man dis
credit the talk of crop failure and In
sist that as things stand Nebraska and
Kansas would have normal grain
crops.
As the bankers and grain men were
talking the sky was clear. Nothlnr in
Uhj weather Indicated early rain. Yet
within twenty-four hours a rain of
rather -general scope felL Its chief
significance relates to the estimate of
a normal grain crop. A tlraer rain
should, then, make the croo a little
Letter than normal. At any rate, oc
casion might be taken for reassuring
the "calamity howler" and serving no
tice on the "market bull" who may
b responsible for the short-crop talk.
Happily, conditions do'not lustifv that
kind of talk, calculated to have a de
pressing effect on business.
So, watch the grain ripen, listen to
the corn grow and avoid premature
lamentations.
A Place to Get Off.
The post-mortem inquiry Into the
abolition of the department military
headquarters at Omaha, and certain
points, is to go on. but is .not likelv
to yield sny. satisfactory results ex-
wy iwaioiy to give representatives in
congress, who were ' caught naDDlnr.
something on which to base a plausi
ble excuse.
The Army ' and Navy Realeter.
usually a fairly safe echo, of the War
department, reiterates that the three
division arrangement is past possibil
ity of modification; that the War de
partment has come to the conclusion
that economy and efficiency may be
advanced la re-establishing military
divisions, also that there is nothing en
during In the conduct of military af-
lairs in this country, slnco military
divisions were abolished for the mili
tary departments la the interest of
tne army and are now to be restored.
The changing back and forth does not.
It assures us, enter Into the question
at this time. It has been determined
that It la a benefit to restore divisional
headquarters, and nothing that local
business Interests may urge, with all
the pull at its command, should be
permitted to frustrate the purpose of
the War department." The signi
ficant part of Its discussion is this ad
vice which? the Register gives, and
which we may bo sure will be followed
with alacrity: '
The only safe thine? f.ir a. anatnr nr
representative who ts beeet by theao re
munstranoea la ta ahlald himself from the
wrath at borne behind the inoxorablo War
department.
Foundation Sill Amended.
The bill before congress authorizing
the Incorporation oi the Rockefeller
foundation as a permanent Institution
bss been so amended as, It ts believed,
to eliminate the objectionable features
which. In its original form, gave rise
to fears that la time the fund might
get beyond the government's control.
To perpetuate a fortune so gigantic
without definitely limiting th pur
poses to which It might be devoted.
would, it wss relt, imperil funda
mental publio interests. Senator Gal
linger, therefore, has effected such
changes In the bill as now seem to
commend it to those who feared Its
unrestricted power aa at first Intro
duced. It Is worth noting that this fear was
not based on a belief that Mr. Rocke
feller was specially seeking unlim
ited powers for himself or his fortune
In th future or that he has not In this
THh HKK:
enterprise been actuated by unseifloh
motives, but It appears, nevertheless,
to hsve been reasonably founded, for
there was nothing In the original bill
to define the purposes, In the way of
limiting them, to which the fortune
might or might not be devoted.
If this measure Is brought within
the purview of safe legislation, the
country will be vastly enriched by such
Immense legacies as this philanthropy
will bestow. Art, science snd Indus
try, in their varied aspects, will be
come the debtors to its benefits and
generations sfar Its heirs. No matter
whst may be thought of such vast for
tunes as that possessed by the Rocke
fellers, one must welcome the oppor
tunity to put them to work for human
ity, which Is what this foundation
scheme proposes to do.
Conflicting Views on Eeciprocity.
President Taft declares that the real
opposition to Canadian reciprocity
comes directly from the big trusts.
Senator McCumber declares that Is ex
actly where the support of the plan
comes from. Senator La Follette says
he believes in reciprocity and believes
In reciprocity with Canada, iut de
nounces the present measure ss a
"diplomatic bargain masquerading In
the guise of reciprocity." Both Senator
La'Follette and Senator McCumUcr as
sert that under this bill the farmer
would be the loser. Then, as If these
conflicting views and statements were
not confusing enough to the lay
man groping In the dark for the
truth, the additional charge is made
that Senator Root's amendment ou
paper and wood pulp Is submitted at
the instance of the paper trust, and
the senator, himself, is disposed of as
an agent of the money power.
On the democratic side, we have
Senator Gore of Oklahoma submitting
amendments after tt had been plainly
stated that any amendment to the bill
will be tantamount to its defeat; Sen
ator Bacon splitting hairs, as usual, in
an effort to kill the bill on techni
calities, and Senators Williams, Stone
and Kern standing shoulder to shoul
der with the president in support of
the measure.
Anybody who 'can find his way out
of this labyrinth of discord and mix
ture of ideas is entitled to the release.
In the meantime It would not be sur
prising, in the event of the bill's pas
sage and the adoption of the plan, to
find it wielding a far less potent In
fluence either way than has been pre
dicted for it. It will not be surprising
if It cuts a far smaller figure econom
ically than It does politically, except
In the way of promoting the friend
ship of the two countries. . '
'.- I
An Orerzealons Spokesman.
Chancellor Day of Syracuse uni
versity has broken his long silence
With an old-time curtain lecture of the
people who are working for larger
popular rights and more equitable re
lations between the public and big
business. He scolds the people for
"meddling" In the affairs of the cor
porations, for imposing on the state
and national statute books laws regu
lating the conduct of these corpora
tionc, declaring: ' ? .
The country has never seen a time when
Its commerce of air kinds was so Involved
and embarrassed by unwise laws created
by men utterly disqualified by bualness In
capacity and Inexperience as today.
We are doubtless making mistakes
in our attempt to bring about a better
system of corporation control, but, on
the other hand, we are achieving some
headway, and will more. Nor can
our hands be completely tied by such
reactionary forces as voiced by Dr.
Day. Even the heads of these great
corporations have come out boldly ad
mitting the Justice and the wisdom of
reasonable governmental control and
regulation. A few of them, notably
Judge Gary of the Steel trust, Presi
dent Delano of the Wabash railroad,
Mr. Carnegie and President Vail of
the Bell telephone interests, have even
declared that we must have this regu
lation, backed up by fair and full pub
licity of the affairs of corporation
management.
Chancellor Day will not charge
these men with business incapacity,
or that they are seeking to Injur the
big Interests. Neither Is this govern
ment seeking to embarrass legitimate
Industry. And it is a great pity for
men holding positions like that of
Chancellor Day's to say so. It always
militates to the disadvantage of both
the government and the corporations
for zealots to overstep tholr bounds
with such exaggerations.
And now W. R. Hearst claims for
himself and his newspapers the credit
for bringing the popular election of
senators within reach of the people.
To say nothing of the other forces that
have dop more, someone should put
In a claim in behalf of Senator Wil
liam Lorlmer and the New York and
Illinois legislatures, on the theory that
the devil is entitled to his dues.
-- I
South Dakota is celebrating the fif
tieth anniversary of Its organization as
a tcirltory. Nebraska has more than
a passing interest In this event because
Dakota was originally a part of the
territory of Nebraska, and continued
so for seven years. Not only this, but
the Dakotas have been largely cottled
and developed from Nebraska.
The president of Mornlngsld col
lege at Sioux City, a Methodist Institu
tion.' Is to be retired for alleged
heretical preaching. Heresy T What
Is that? Any relation to Insurgency?
Rebuking the Charleston News and
Courier for having advocated the elec
tion of McKlnley In 1898, the Houston
Post virtuously declares: "Th Post
has supported the democratic nomJr
OMAHA. 1 1 1 IjKSD AV, ' .TTJNE' 15, lfll.
nees, national and state, all during Its
existence." Only on the theory thet
"open confession Is good for the soul,"
can such admission be justified.
The Los Angeles Express says It
was so hot In Omaha one day last
week that a street railway rail twisted.
Of course, that statement Is slightly
twisted, but according to the veracious
San FrancUco Examiner exactly that
thing happened In the summer resort
by the Golden Gate.
Lark's Favorite.
Washington Post.
Now Colonel Bryan has attacked Chair
man Underwood. Pome men are born In
Kentucky and move to Alabama, but If
luck's with 'em they' can't be kept down.
Great as a Hereane ProHocer.
St. Ixuis OIobe-Iemocrat.
A surplus In the national treasury of
19,000.000 for the fiscal year thus far be
gins to look as If Uncle Bam will have a
good Annual balance to show June 80, tx
clualvo of Panuma canal expenditures. The
much-abused tariff law Is doing Its part
well.
If lie Had tho T!g ta GIto.
Baltimore American.
A university president Is warning the
students of the Institution against beoom
Ing merely millionaires. If he can flrid
means to impart how this ambition can bo
attained, sordid though It be, the univer
sity Will have to enlarge Its boundaries and
then always have an overflow waiting list.
IJiEAJY TRUSTS.
Oao Thoaaand Combines Affected by
Recent Derisions.
New York Financial World.
There are about one thousand industrial
combinations In the United States whose
form of "organization and business methods
come more or less directly under tho da
cl.iions in tho trust cases handed down by
tho United States supreme court. Under
these decisions combinations In restrsint
of competition are not forbidden, but only
combinations In restraint of trade.
Combinations for the purpose of oppress
ing competitors and monopolizing trade are
Illegal, and thela. heads arc liable, under
ths criminal provisions of tho Sherman
anti-trust law. It is doubtful, however.
whether the government . will Just now be
gin a crusade against many of these trusts
Rather Is it reasonable to suppose that the
government will first permit tho convicted
trusts to arrange . their affairs and split
themselves up under the supervision and
direction of tho lower courts, so that other
trusts may then see how tho thing Is done
and how they may also escape prosecu
tions. A Kill, therefore. In tho government
activity against tho trusts would now seem
no more than natural.
NEBRASKA PILESS COMMENT.
Beatrice Sun:' When the. law requires
you to pay $1 for a'llcense to fish, It looks
as though somebody should guarantee the
catch. Here's room for another guarantee
law.-.
Bloomlngton Advocate: There are now
over 18,000 automobiles In the state, and If
they are worth, on the average of 11,600
each. It la very easily figured out where
some $27,000,000 of Nebraska capital has
gone.
Piattsmonth Journal: . Having Just fin
ished examining 1.000 law books to see if
the milkman ot this town have violated
tho "rule of r7ason" provisions of the
trust; law,1' we (V the public's pardon for
the slight fog In our mental landscape.
Kearney Hunt Ex-Governor- Sh&llenber
ger announces over his own "stg" that he
will he a democratic candidate next year
for United States senator, and that, too,
notwithstanding that ho has been "urged"
a' great deal to be a tcandldAte again for
governor. Tho es-govsmor states that he
la In no sense campaigning now la an
ticipation of nex year's primaries, but is
just throwing out a few words "prelimin
ary" so that all his friends may know.
Red Cloud Argus: A business (T) man
came to one of the Argus editors ths other
day with a halt column article aimed at
catalogue houses and Incidentally roasting
all who might buy from such Institutions.
He thought it i would make a good article
for publication, hut when we suggested
that he pay for . it and run it over his
own signature, he couldn't see the point
We pointed out to him how we, too, were
In bualners In Red Cloud, and that he,
among others, not only did not advertise
to draw trade to the town, but that he
gave his order for stationery to the trav
eling solicitor for a foreign printing house.
The argument ended without a fight and
we believe, that fellow now has a better
Idea of tho general order of things. The
notion seems to prevail almost universally
that business med are under no obligation
to. tho horns pagers, hut that the home
papera should devote all their space and
energy to the protection of home Interests,
People Talked About
Tou would hardly guess It from his name,
but ha was born in Scotland and Is presi
dent of the Highlanders of New York.
Among base ball fans be Is known as
"Papa" rarrell.
The Ak-8ar-Ben push overlook a thrill
ing stunt in failing to Induoo King Cora
to sing his famous song. "Oh. How Dry I
Am."
A Boston man who waa knocked cWwn
by a street ear In St. Louis apologised,
when he was able to stand u again, tor
having obstructed traffic.
Royal etiquet performs curious capers.
King George V's great undo died recently.
Then the earl and oounteas of Darby gave
a dinner and dance at their Loudon resi
dence. The king and queen wera present
at the dinner and had a gav time, but, en
account ot tho death of the king's great
uncle, they did not remain for the ball.
Nice discrimination, that.
The thinnest man in he world was mar
ried by Municipal Justice John It. New
comer ot Chicago the other day. "I had
to look three times to see hi in." said the
Judge. The man is Artnur Atherton, 24
years old.. Thoug-h five fet high, he
weigha only thirty-eight pounds. He mar
ried Blanch Buokley, U years old, who
weighs I poupda."
Around'New York
Ipples on the Onrront of Ufa
as Sees la the Oraat American '
Metropolis from Say to Day
High on the wooded crest of puyten
Duyvlll, 300 feet above the waters of the
river first navigated by htm, stands a
great fluted column, 100 feet high, on the
top of which ts soon to be placed a statue
of Henry Hudson, from whom New York's
great river takes Its name. Karl Bitter, the
sculptor, haa completed a model of the
statue. Hudson Is represented In morion
snd leather Jerkin, worn for protection
against Indiana, full, baggy knee breeches
of his period, and high boots, such as he
might have used for protection In landing
and tramping In swamps or among bram
bles. The mariner wears a sword with
ornately wrought hilt that a captain of
that age might have fancied. The figure
bears a short Spanish cloak, for at that
time Spain was dominating the fashions of
the world, as haa France In later periods.
On account of Ita altitude, for Including
the hill the figure will stand 115 feet above
the level of the river, the outlines have
been made clear and strong. The bearded
face of the mariner is entirely Ideal, as
there is, so far as known, no contsmporary
portrait of Hudson. The expression of the
face Is strong and. conveys an air of
anxiety and thoughtfulness.
Ground waa broken for the monument on
July 6, 190D, and In September of that year
ths cornerstone was laid by Governor
Hughes. The column, which waa designed
by Walter Cook, Is now complete and is
ready to ' receive Mr. Bitter's statue, as
well as the decorative tablets at Ita base
sculptured by Henry M. Slirady. The fig
tire of Hudson Is of heroic else, being fif
teen feet In height. The total cost of the
monument, including statue and tablet,
will be 11,000, of which amount 141,000 has
been raised.
Elsie Rangold, a maid employed by Frank
V. Molloy, a contractor, who Uvea In New
Rochelle, waa discharged for being impu
dent. Thereupon she attacked Mrs. Mol
loy, and then went to her room In the
attic, where ahe began to tear things up.
When Policeman Bussard arrived the
maid had ripped up the carpet, broken the
mirror and torn the bedclothes In her
room. She fought him until he called two
linemen working nearby. Then she threw
hcrsslf on the floor with her clothes
wrapped about her head and kicked. The
polloeman and linemen tied her ankles
with heavy electric light wire, but. aa they
were unable to get her down the winding
attlo stairs without the risk of injury, they
tied a rope about her waist and let her
down from the attlo window.
She was taken to the station house In
the linemen's wagon with the policeman
sitting on her. Judge Bwlnburn gave her
the choice of paying a $10 fine or going to
the county Jail for ten daya.
Aleck MItchel, who arrived In New York
from Scotland three weeks ago, was stroll
ing up Eighth avenue, when at the corner
of Twenty-eighth street he spied a man
who later said he Is Harry Stevens, a
waiter. Aleck mads a Jump at the man,
throttled him and held him down on the
sidewalk until Patrolman Steward worked
through the crowd and relieved Aleck.
Last Thursday night, so Aleck explained
to the police, he was walking along West
Twenty-third street, when Stevens picked
up a pocket book a,few feet ahead.
In the pocketbookeame story was a tl
bill, some small silver money and ths stock
idlamsnd, ring. The man' Was good enough
to shew his find to Aleck and to invite
htm to go to the nearest pawnbroker's,
bock the ring and divide the proceeds. The
man hadn't gone a block when he ran Into
an eld friend, son ot a Jeweler," who
offered the lucky finder of the ring $100
' Not much! The man with the ring ad
vised Aleck that a pawnbroker would pay
more than $100 for the ring. With the three
ball sign iu sight, however, the man de
cided that It would be Just aa well to take
the $100 from the "jeweler'a son" ,and led
the way back to the "Jeweler's son's
house," In front of which they had met
that expert.
On the way the man offered to sell out
his share In the ring to Aleck for $32, or all
the money Aleck had wltth him. And
upon reaching the house the man went In
side to get the "Jeweler's son," leaving the
ring with Aleck as security. And there you
are.
Aleck, after a lohg wait, went to a pawn
broker's with the ring. Why, the diamond
was no diamond at all glass.
The contents of the postcard ware brief
but Important:
"Dear Madam: Is not your door bell out
of order T" Signed by the name of a de
partment store.
To the basement door and up the first
floor ran the woman, pressing both bells
repeatedly. Neither rang.
"They are broken," she said.
After summoning an electrician she tele
phoned to the store for the history of that
admonitory postal eard.
"Oh, yes," said the bead of the Informa
tion bureau. "That is one of our new
rules. Goods were delivered yesterday for
some one In your house, but no one came
to the door. The bells seemed to be out
of order and the delivery boy reported It at
this office. In homes where the family are
out a good deal a bell might be broken for
three or four days without their finding It
out"
"My own eomrapn sense and ths shoe
elerk permitting, I shall never wear an
other pair of tight shoes," said a woman,
"but If I should be Inveigled Into making
muself uncomfortable I know what I shall
do to allay tho pain. The ministrations to
the aching feet of a man who called on
my Italian cobbler for relief showed me a
remedy. The man's shoes pinched In three
different plaoes. Having located the pain
ful spots Rafael dipped a long""etrtp of
canton flannel Into boiling water and held
the cloth stretched tightly across the man's
shoes. When the water began to evaporate
he dampened the cloth again and repeated
the process several times.
" 'Now,' said he at last, "your shoes are
set to your feet No more hurt.'
"The man gave him a quarter, which I
thought a small prloe to pay for relief
from a pinching shoe."
Mlas Dorothy Whitney, the Junior league
and others Interested In New York, sub
scribed $270,000 to build a home for wags
earning women. It la not a charity by
any means, but Is a hotel where women
without families may live for a reasonable
sum. The average price Is $0 week for
room and board, but thera are rooms that
rent for a little more. Every modern con
venience Is Incorporated Into the plan of
the house, which has Just been completed.
Crttlea Coafoaaaea.
Boston Herald:
Those who gueaaed that Mr. Tuft meant
all kinds of rolfchlef In sending troops
In to Texas will probably not take the trou
ble to acknowledge what the withdrawal
of the border force now seems to proe,
that army maneuvers on a large scale were
located In southwestern Texas becauae
grave poaslbiUUae'lay In the Mexican revo
lution, now happily ovar.
TAPS ON THE FUNNYB0NE.
"You've aol Poison In vour avutem." M
tha doctor to the patient who thought he
hail malaria. .
! "Maybe I have." he admitted, "maybe I
(have. I don't rat anything but whst Is
guaranteed under the pure food law."
j Judge.
"What makes that man keep saying he
la not a candidate for nfftce?"
"1 don't know," replied Henator Sorghum,
unleaa It la In the hope that somebody
will come out and contradict him." Wash
ington tar.
Poet The verses which you are perusing
are the precious children of my brain.
Kdltor Poor little orphans. Life.
Unsophisticated Cook If you plcaae.
mum, the butcher says I'll get t per cent
on all the orders ,1 give him. What does
that mean?
Mistress It means, Mary, that we shall
have another butcher. Boston Transcript.
Willie-Say pa, you ought to see the men
across ths street raise a building on Jarka.
fa (absently) Impossible. Willie. You
can open on Jacks, but a man la a fool to
try to raise on them er I mean It must
have been quite a slitht Puck.
"You seem to believe in advertising."
said the Impatient customer to the mer
chant Whfl ho.l n n. . . .1 ( I . . .
sale at cost; "but you've got only one
rn,r.iu.i, iV wan vn a Fiore inn or people.
Your faith nun. . . i
----- .. " M " 1 1 "Hilt CIIVUU,
Good day."
"Are vnu rmlmtA tn ih. ki .iA MMM
elect?" Inquired the busy usher.
fN O.
"Then what Inlarui k.r. -, .u.
ceremony t" I
i m the defeated candidate." Washing
ton Herald.
rBAME WOBX OF CORONATION ODE
Ixmdon Punch.
Uplift thee. Uuse, and sing us how and
when
Beneath the shadow of th tjrm Pm
The King of Kngland and the Queen were
uuwiieu-.
With lumtl-timti-umt! stand round
ti nave etui to put the finishing touches
to my Ode, but 1 want to make the
. scheme of It public before the other
poets come out with theirs, so that no
one can accuse me afterwards of
plagiarism.)
Uplift thee. Muse, and sing us why and
where
So many what-d'you-call-'ema alt and stare
Upon the King of England and the Queen
In tooral-ooral umtl-somethlng sheen
(You see the idea.)
But most uplift thee. Muss, to tell of those
Who, for the lack of necessary clothes.
Or else berau.M they do not like a crush.
Remain behind at Bewdlay-on-the-Mush
(Our village.)
Their hearts beat Juat as loyally as If,
Clad In a somethlng-umthlng collar stiff.
Or In a lumtl-tumtl harem gown.
They'd left the country for the Stifling
town.
Loyalty burst from every heart In spates,
But, most of all, from Mr. Aanllng-Uate'al
(Husband of Mrs. Hanling-Bate. He
has very kindly lent his hill for the
bonfire. There r:il be a pause here,
while the vicar leads the cheering.)
Ix, lightly dawns at last the day of Kings
Of Pomps and Power and Pageantry and
things.
When to the abbey goes beloved George
Ter-rumtl-umtl-umtl forge or gorge
(This line doesn't look very promising at
present.)
Archbishop, bishop, dean, archdeacon,
priest,
Gathered from north and south and west
and east.
Duke, marquis, earl, baron and baronet
And viscount, too, In solemn conclave met
Salute him England's monarch "George
the Fifthl"
(Tremendous applause, led by Mr. Ban-llng-Bate.
I hope It will go on long enough
to hide the tact that we are going to lose
a tine here. The fact la, there Is simply no
rhyme to "fifth.")
Light Up Your Store;
Ilr.ileixhant,
orz
P-1
and prove to jeople that you believe in your city and in
your business. Demonstrate that you have confidence in
your goods by exhibiting them under the searching rays
Df electric light. Back up your claims to being wide-awake
by making attractive window displays and lighting them
up, so that you will get 18 hours service out of the win-,
dow investment instead 'of the , 12 daylight hours. Let
. people know that you 6tand for progress and efficiency
in square dealing and full values. Money spent for good
Btore window lighting is just as necessary and just a
profitable as money spent for clerk hire. . ,
. -.....'.
Omaha Electric Light &
Power Company
SHORTEST LINE TO
DOUBLE DAILY SERVICE ,
Low round-trip summer excursion
fares to St. Louis, Detroit, Buf-
falo, Niagara Falls, Toronto, Mori-'u
treal, New York and Boston.
Through Car Service From Chicago
Information regarding rates, routes, iJerths,
etc., cheerfully furnished.
AGENT FOR ALL STEAMSHIP LINES
H. C. SHIELDS, G. A. P. D. OMAHA, NEB,
Wabajsh City Ticket Office, 16(h and Farnam Streets
IVA LT H A Kfl
ssraa WATCH tsszxy
RAILROAb men
measure seconds in
distance. A train a
quarter of n mileoff sched
ule, is liable to accident.
The necessity for tune-
accuracy makes Waltham
the tailroad-man's Watch.
nil i me j on
Chrticd a Waltham"
Send for Deerrlptlve Booklet
Waltbais Watch Cs.Wsltkssi.Mau.
-"Juat, Gay"
HORLIC.tyS
It Man
Original and Ginutn
MALTED MILK
Tht Fcod-drinV for Ail
More heailhful than Tea or Coffee,
Agrees with the weakest digestion.
Delicious, invigorating and nutritious.
Rich milk, moltej grain, powder form.
A quick lunch prepared in a minute.
Take no rabstitote. Ask for HORLICK'S.
. t"" """ 0Ava nra ,'m,'l,h'An
o
PERFECT
TeotliPoudor
cleanses, preserves anrj beau
tifies the teeth and imparts
purity find fragrance to the
breath. Mothers should teach
the little ones its dairy use,
Tha Highest' Bale
We can ever charge under
our Franchise is $4.50 per
month Business and $2.00
Residence. These rates will
frive ample returns vn the
nvestments.
Our present -' rates "' are
Business - $1.00, . Itealdence
$1.00. , ... ,.. , .. ,
Ktelephone A
o
if'-.nJi S r-rtv)ii y- hefnr.tni7
B awiassraei
I