Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, June 15, 1911, Page 11, Image 12

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i Serious
in Comic Vein
A l!nnlrr1-Year
N -.
-rr . , ,
"Beeins lhey'rt jrettlng ready to hold a
hundred, year jiJebratton of the first Board
of M:rmoji,. pr something like that, down
In City. Han." remarked 8how-Me Smith.
retailer of. plain .pnd fancy history In u
, aorfd slxes'sr jt i also notice they're going
j to f invite' a ,mjipy, descendants of the or
' Jglnal city d'aus aa 'can get Into the place.
i "It pains me to observe, however, that
I there wasn't a single .ftmlth in that first
bunch. Otherwise yours truly would prob-
ably get. feat down In front. I'd Just aa
I'lleve claim relationship to an alderman as
! Hot. aye n. If ,he wu a dead one. ' 1 "
t "How the Smiths' came to keep'ut of It
, a hundred years ago I don't know. They're
; usually declared, In'ori Iny'ilttla occasion
illke that, JVneses must "have been boycot
'lng them about thia time, I suppose. '
j "Tou see., congress havlns- gone on the
jTed to play Philadelphia and' Washington,
Ithlnira 'Wer a little ' dull and Kew Vnrk
!f Aldermen
run' longer than any other
'attraction eveiOn the city. ' &o they built
the city halt around the board and Invited
friends' and neighbors In' from the
-.a house district; the Ninth ward and all
'" lha other popular Districts to irelp celebrate.
"They opened' the new hall, the Erie
eanal and anything else that wii handy or
Vet -i: i.
" 'New aubway routea,' aald the presi
dent of the board on that occasion, 'will
not be considered at thla aesalon. There
will be trouble enough about that later on.
We will compromise by giving Brooklyn a
bridge, and maybe that will hold her for a
"Objections to giving Brooklyn anything
but a laugh occasionally being duly flle.d.
the metine; proceeded. - - .
"Harlem, which could '.be reached . by
horse car In three days, applied for annexa
tion, and ..her application wa promptly
granted on condition that rubber plants be
admitted duty free. The Bronx applied for
admission about the same time, but they
only madei her a territory. However, they
promised her three trains to Broad sray'a
one whenthe aubway was built, and that
pacified her.
"Pleasant, trade' relatiohs were estab
lished with Hoboken and Jereey City, and
by the time the first aesalon closed an' x
pedltlon had been sent out to explore Cen
tral park. ' ' ' " ;
."There's one" thing ' the aldermen did.
though that haa always made them' fa
mous "i' ' '
' "What .thatT" I asked. ; '."
"Invented the dove , .el 1 'peace," ,sa,Ui
Show-Mo. i -'"'
Fair Women of the White House
lirav'-Ablgair rfttth AdaTiane wife of
, 3bbn Adaraa. the -second feeeshlent, was the
Sret tarialrvaa 1 the fWhlte House,- and
She tnbved lnt that historic mansion when
H wa' still :taecanpMe.' -6he. wrote to her
jauetrta NorwmbwrriSOO, oVnsaribltig her
'net home In these woedsu... hi i."--
"llhs nous ts.eeoe ) s;randiand superb-
Ka'a, - requiring-, about' Ihlrty v servants to
attend and kp wha apajftraenu Uv proper
order aad vm t uiui thai pr4tirj .busings of
the bo use and tab(ev.t . To assist us
in this , grt- caatla nd -fender less at-
Aeadaaoaneoeaarry bells, are whatjy want-
Ingi not a, single one binchung through
Ul the,jMuflv and.promlats era all that
you oan obtain. It they, wUl,lctne put up
jaocne bella-and, Iqjt, ie '.havf wood enough
xo aaep uria,, oesijm to oe.pieaea,...- -
ve not the Jeaatnfeno yard or other
lepoa wlthouV,a4 - tba treat ,vn,-.
had audtepcf rwm, I make a frying
Pt jyuxgth flolhea n.," . (
Aflnwi waa th qaughjer or tne
, William gBiihat Wynouy iff -.
aha. vu .born on .November a
rftta d4 A .Q"!"?'! Hiy' onf0 2S-
On 4,
s""i'wssj hl,j tfijl -
' I A 1
1818. She- was one of the njonf .romarkable.
women oi tne revolutionary penoq... ene
accompanied her husband -"tiy Ftahca and
England- in 14. t . ,
.Her delWhtful letters fthrow.much Hght
pn ,the 11 f of "the days- in wnicb- ana iva.
on,Es,f-for the- Campei: 'B-
Don'V" ba ?-tn'tB;mP-'fl?rUoft'r"-- many
tfrouchaa In the gtf Jf f wjthjje&- lives
nly by tha skins ef thelf teath.
Don't be afraid cf atiakea;, there, are only
three poisonous knakea In'North Amsrtoa
pha rittleknafce;' th.a; CQPlwhWd,'. and tha
(water. . niooiain.'" Ap4 ait most . the. water
"""oecaaaln a tha n wu. type 'ydull
j"a)n'e'tl get out of y'o'VJrldal tfjpU'ir
t;ia him hai;,f chauca. - -
Don't be afraid of night Bounds; if ybn
Sear a wnron screaming' asr if rshe were J
lttlng murdered there are, JO.ifpO chance to
wna that the yelling la from the loon, -or
jKraftt northern diver; .. '
Don't Imaging that all owls' merely , hoot
tt you do tha aoraech w" walling, "Oh-oh-ph-o-o-ooh-h-h-h'
Vj' jklVe.oq Jlm-.
am. '
Don't cut- farmer' 'sprightly, shapely
raen sspltnw wlthoot rrm!slon; Tie' may
a literal conservationist. Oreen wood
-makes tha hottest-apaX bu a,'freen hick
ory sapling aree inches through la worth
Don't touch a wet tent either outside or
IriBlde nnleaa you want'lt to leak.
, iwn i wmlo wsn power riiie or feruive
with you for ''practice ehooting" onv the
water; , you "may be locked pp for man
slaughter If you do.'
Don't consider your 'boat' fully eqdlpped
ofitll It has an anchor. Iron or alone, with
Vppe enough to reach deep bottom.
Don't pitch your Tent on any ground that
Is not above 'the '"'wash"', water that may
come dowu on you because of a' hard rain.
If uncertain of drainage, don't be' too tired
to dig" a drainage ditch. f; ' -
Don'f camp nearer a mosquito marsh than
you are forced to do. '' '''.
.Don't, above all things,' 'try tol discover
how much truck yeu can take with you;
rather try to see what you can cut out of
the equipment. '
.XPtnsvE ? Yt3, HOT n s iu
II Fk -,
"saa I HAVE THE l
I. BE5T FCK? THE l '
i f IV " a. . . m iijr 1
stuck: rex.
HeiP "'' -
5orlr; CtOTMeS". Erl,COt.OrCLr 1
j boh -''"f be con retiree EiwaA
mw: 1 I with Art
"T- . l;AUTOriqeiLC 1
Loretta's Looking Glass-Turning Over a New . Leaf
June 15, 1911.
Name and Adrtre-sa. 8chooI. " Vear.
Mar Abboud, 1722 South Thirteenth St. ........ .Lincoln ,'. ..... '..1898
Charles Brown, 3718 South Sixteenth St. Edw. Rob water . , 1905
Marr C. Burrla, 2622 North Twenty-wTenth St.. Long ,i ...1894
Hacel L. Babcock. 431B Grant St Clifton Hill n1904
Otto F. W. Borchert. 4406 South Thirteenth St Edw. Tloaewater .,1895
Phillip IS. Cronk, 2720 Ruggleg 8t Druid 11111 ..... 1901
Maud L. Cole, 4032 Decatur St .....Walnut tllt !. . ..1902
D. Cloyd, 1117 South Thirty-first 8t. Park ...1898
Marie Callahan, 2123 Cass 8t High ....1894
Lvlu H. Doyle, 3323 Parker 8t.,
.Franklin .1904
Jennie Domoerger, 709 South Nineteenth St. ...... Leavenworth ,....1897
Nathan Dansky, 137 South Twenty-fifth Ave Mason ........ k..18 9 8
Virginia Donnermyer, 1708 Dorcas St St. Joseph ,.M..,1901
Irene Elct, (2$ Pine St ... .Train . . ...1897
Frances Qtfford, 2525 Bristol St Lothrop ,,.,.'.,.1905
Julius O. Gorman, 8418 Charles St Franklin ..'.'...,.1897
Ella E. Hornlg, 2787 South Winth Bt.. .......... Bancroft . . . . ...1909
Myrtle Hall, 4827 West Leavenworth St Seals .. . ....1896
Will B. Howard, 4722 Capitol Ave .......Saunders. . .......1904
Helen Hlnes, S420 Franklin St High .......... ..1894
Theodore Jacphsen, 425 Walnut St. .. .J". ....... .Train . . . .1904
Josie Janovsky, 102 South Second St ......Train r.1.1896
Anna, E. Johnson, 1903 Paul St ..Kellom ..........1900
Mabel Jackson, 1954 South Twelfth St Lincoln i .1901
Minerva . Kelly, 716 North Thirty-second St. .
John Krebs, 2008 North Nineteenth St.......
Ephralm Karrlch, 1914 South Tenth Et.
Morris Lear, 4703 North Fortieth Ave.
Dorothy Landow, 2202 Howard St....
. . . .Webster ' ... .
. . . .Lake
. . . .Lincoln , .
.... Central Park ,
... .Farnam . . ,
m ... .
Alberta McCartney, 4001 North Thirty-eighth St.
Florence May Oh met, 70 J North Eighteenth St.,
Edward Marrln, 2102 North Twenty-ninth St....
John Martens, 1266 South Sixteenth 8t
Alsune.Mohrman, 3515 Howard St...,
Sarah Mlnkin, 1911 Iiard St.....
Barbara Nlttler, 2216 Central Blvd
Joseph Nits, 2213 Grace St
Orvll. Plerson, 2642 Davenport St. .
Harold J. Porter, 8328 Taylor St.
Mearl C. Poff, 910 North Njneteenth St
Alta Russell, 622. South Twenty-fourth St.......
Vernon Ragan, 2117 Leavenworth St
Isabella Skellenger, 614 Woolwdrth Ave
Roy William Stephen, 2310 South Thirty-fifth St.
Central Park
Long . . .
. . . . . Columbia
St. JoBeph
Kellom . .
Webster .
.... ..1901
. ; ...1893
. .v.1905
, .'- . .1904
. , . . .1896
, .1902
, . Monmouth Park
, .Holy Family . .
, . Mason ........
, . Mason ........
, .Train . .
, .Windsor
...'. . . . .1804
; '.'; .". .;'.,1902
; ii ", . '.;;,' ' '! '''y .' ' ''' i ';ir j 'i n ''I i,aiil, -PW ' ,11 8sa
Margaret E. Spalding, 3015 Pacific St Park ....... , ....1897.
Delbert Skellenger, 514 Woolworth Ave. .......... Train . . . ,'. ...4904
Gertrude Sanford, 4820 Florence Blvd. 4 . . . .Saratoga . . . . . . . ..1903
Lucile Sulley, 1818 Burt St Holy.Family". . . : ..1904
Nathaniel Swanson, 2814 Cass St Webster ,...1898
Ralph R! TIetsart, 3520 North ForUeth 8t Clifton Hill ,. .V. .,.1904
George Thomsen, 3424 Jackson St... ......Columbia '..'...-;.;. 1904.
Gladys Venable, 2026 Grand Ave...'. .....Saratoga ...M..-190Z
Frank Wachtler, 2212 South Eighteenth St .St. Joseph...',. 190 4
Nellie Wangberg, .4614 North Twenty-fifth St .Saratoga . . . . .'.iil899
Conrad Waidtllch, 4022 North Thirty-third St Monmouth Park 1902
Reed Zimmerman, 1114 North Thirty-fifth St. .Franklin . . ...1897
Annie ZalkoTlch, 412 South Tenth St Pacific ... j , v .... 1904
"MyJaad Loreita.: 1 am not In tha habit
of seeking advice from the specialists. But
you hate hit upon ''so. many things tfiat I
have -never seen mentioned, and there la
such common-sense and originality in some
of your views,' thkt I am anlng to haaard
an Inquiry. I am what -you might call a
I JW5" ty9 TPiwrTO ... a
nWMAWMewrv. wircraal
..yT-rTv. ; Jg"" rivoost J
-. zFksk tow t , 'ff
.lUAtrllUO. Mm Tl '
aoTtmifiKir. J r V-W U 1
v Nt(t .
1 ' J .,-
.... ,.-,,"..'' WTe
,.. kt t'l.' -at . -
1 A.
. 1
.M t-' !i -". Li, '
ni'jL 'isar u
"Baw a A r I. SV
. . II I III II .Ml I
. -. , , , .
home woman, a conscientious another and
my own chief cook and bottle waeher, not
to mention seamstress. - And my best friend
is a useless little' woman who never makes
anything, and whose buebandi adores her.
Mine does not adore me. ' ' '
"He Just lovea tne without' any particular
fuss. In a kind of machinery way. And I
am tired of it- I am going, to turn ever a
new leaf. I am going to be -aa useieaa and
aa society loving as my friendl- 1 don't see
why I ahould drudge, when we are' worth
more than they are. f it's queer thing to
me that these wives who always-have time
and clothea ready to pick "up- and "take a
trip with their husbands, who give dinners
and laugh if the napkina have holes In
them, seem to ba tha ones the men like.
My friend's -husband , cannot, .do . enough
for her. Ha humora her in everything. And
he, seems to enjoy having herewith him.. I
cannot understand it, for I certainly am a
more capable woman. However. I arri going
to hava a good time, too.1 Do you .thing I
am Justified In taking a vacation -after ten
years of devotlnon to my' hotne sintl famllyT
I wonder wby you women-wha cook mad
Put a Pine Here
A picture la tha Illustrated Londen Nawa
shews the "Dinning" of tha ermine for the
train of tha coronation robe, an operation
that calls for tha use of ever 15,000 pins.
For tha train soma BOO atdns and soma KO
tails are being used. Tha king will wear
three robes during . tha coronation tha
royal crimson robe of. state, which 14 wont
until just before tha anointing; tha Imperial
mantla of cloth of gold, and the royal robe
of purple velvet, in which his mejeitty
leaves tha abbey.
my tears have no af-
Tou cruet man.
feet on you at all!"
"Wall, drop them. dear. "-Judge.
mend and boss always gase In mystification
at the'. wife who cooks, but does not fuss
about It, mends -when it la necessary and
leans with loving adandon on her husband.
- It looks ao eaay to n
Tou are always preparing. Nothing eve
comes to a head In your affairs. Or, If It
does, 'you have worked and worried' and
bothered yourself, and all the family so
much about it that the painful anticipation
grow a its natural crop, a painful realiza
tion. " ' ,1 ;
Tou are so busy saving money, that you
never 'wave .energy for a lark with your
husband. If he does take you with him
on a trip you have a terrible time sewing
yourself up to It, and you give him a ter
rible time wondering if the children are all
right and the house still standing.
You make yourself a convenience to him
Instead of a pleasure, and then you wonder
that he treats you like one. Tou never
take Into consideration that the. privilege
of ' giving means a good deal to a man.
When you come right down to It, there are
not a lot of ways or a lot of things that a
man wants for himself. s ,-.
Tea, I think you need a vacation. - Not
because you deserve It so much as because
your husband needs a rest and a chance to
enjoy home. He would lova,to eat In tha
kitchen tin be U tired of It. ' Ha would like
to do, something now and ,tben without
having you, in your orderly, competent way,
take all' tha "sip" out of It,. And you could
spend your time advantageously practicing
upon the kind of cheerful bappy-go-luckl-nasa
which would enable you to contemplate
a holely napkin without a mild fit ...Tou
let tha things, you own boss you. Take a
try a dominating them. But your. husband
Is not a thing. Stop dominating him with
your enonomy ,and your fuaolness. . .Let
him sea you have a few streaks of com
fortable fat In tha make-up of your self.
You know women should be ilka bacon
streak of fat, streak of leant Let him find
it out Coma back about the time ha Is
tired of his own, cooking. And forget to be
fussy tf ba cuta tha- meat with tha fish
knife; or tha maid gets the teacups Instead
of tha after dinners I
' W' ' k1. ' v"-- ' v v-
"Qri!lvypLTHREE! .MUSH. BE A PAw5lPp:,, , 5
A Born Lawyer
A man who was not wise to tha waya of
the wprld was the father of a bright boy.
He spent much time debating how the
lad's future was to be shaped, and finally
went for advice to tha village sage, who
at one time had been a part of the selfish,
striving 'world, and who left It scarred
and shaken, but full of wisdom. And tha
saga told the perplexed father how to de
termine his soh' future and tha father
atralghtaway. went and did as ha was ad
vised.' But the next day ha sought out the
sage In' sore perplexity. v
'"The whole plan went wrong," aald ha,
-"and I am In a Quandary what to do next"
"What did I advlae you to do?" askea
the wise man. ' '" . ''V'fl
"You told ma to leave George in a,' room
with a work on theology, an apple and
soma small change; that If when I returned
I found htm reading the book, he was' to be.
made a clergyman; If eating the apple, a
farmer;. If -interested ' In- tha money, a '
banker." , - . " . ,
"But when I came back he was seated
on tha book with the half devoured apple
la his hand and the money In his pocket"
"That settlea It," said tha aage, "tha
lad Is a born lawyer." New Tprk Time. ,
' Babies Are Strong
The myth of tha infant Hercules who
strangled two serpents. In his cradle may
not have been a myth at all, but a fact
Modern science baa proved that it Is quite
a' possible . (eat . The new-bora babe Is
relatively much stronger than a full
grown man, according to tha result of
medical teats: -. "The muscles of tha fore
arm are surprisingly vigorous. - A few
hours after birth a baby suspended by its
finger to a stick, or to tha finger of a
person, oan hold Itself In tha air (or tan
seconds, and In the case of particularly
strong Infants, for as long as a half
minute. At 4 days old tha child's strength
has increased; and tha time Is two and a,
halt minutes for'M per cant of babies.
Tha maximum is attained at a fortnight
Few Infanta can hang: 0 cor mora than
one and a half minutes; Jhouih one ex
ceptional young Hercules ' remained sus
pended for two mlnuies and thirty-eight
seconds by his right hand,. After that
ha still hung on with his JfV for fifteen
seconds longer." It Is now stated whose
babies ware put through these ' horlsontal
bar gymnastloa at tha early age af from
1 hour to a fortnight."-
...A Bad Kara. : . ..v
"He always' was a bad egg. but nobody
seemed to notice It while be was rich-"
"Tea, he was all right until ba was
broke." Sacred Heart Review.
Qitean WUbelmxna of Holland baa a most
successful and paying dairy farm not tar
from her place at Hat Loo.
-"7-" -' " r - J- f-U lt . LX f-- l.'il
Meddlesome Curiosity?
Cry f
1 5flufe-'
SB ' 'A. "' '-J
GgS&Zae of other 2y '
rcrct aa iriytUiflvs;
foe 4nK2itw U3e4" W