THE BEE: OMAHA, MONDAY, JUNE 12,1011.
The gecg Ynp Mae?azirP fa
r
t
i.'.Lay of the Hotel Lobbyist
The 3EES Junior Birthday Book
f e:
l.'-v. ' '
I er? i
"Notice ht Hs. rttrudn Atheiton fay
polities hayg ciWdYd kit the poetry out of
lif." obmrved the hnr Warmer.
"If polltl,; -wfffid, fnly crowd out the
pets!" exclaimed (tie llotil lobbyist wlst
fulty. "Ktm, choking oft the pwtry nt life
Is an awtill IMlefment to bring against
politics. folltjcj, nif haye lad smnf-thlng
tr An w'ltji Staking, th low cost of living
nut of 1lfeir1 purling In the loeuet of
seventeen year's, 'politic may have drfratfd
raw wool and substituted raw deal, but'
poetry! Why, tfjere's my tariff on It. no j
retr1?tIon.H',an(nsJ n reasonable restraint!
ltg to prevent' the fie coinage of potms
at he rat 'ofyilxteen,, lines fur one dollar,
no troop. hRvs been1 sjrnt. to ftie border of
Bohemia to put don- th poeta not even
to Hobohemlav tvhnr many of thrm hang
nit.' -' '. '
"rplitlra fo$ca .poetry out of our lif7
t'luM1 .Why, politics puta poetry Into our
r""i ' " '"''""
1 .- .. i rrTp.'-
it
maiden of pnerv the modern kind of hand
maiden who threatens to leave If you don't
like het work or If she ran t have two
days off every week. Why, many a the
time politics haa been the reason why
poetry mas recited hy the yard In congress
Instend of straightforward dfhate or argu
ment. Take one of those eenatorlal war
hotses with flowing mane and a frock coat
with an epileptic fit and force him Into a
corner during debate. Get htm to the place
where he haa to go on record aa being for
or analnnt. "What doe h" do but Inflate
himself and reel off several miles of poeti
cal film, written hy aome obscure poet who
make a living not worth living by plain
and fanry potlng. Political problems boom
poetry. Why, what was that rhyme Bryan
was alwa a talking about?"
"I don't know," said the rhalr Warmer.
"What was It?"
"Oh, yes! The rhvme of '73," exclaimed
the Hotel lobbyist.
J
Ufa.' Wh catwrafKh laver opened without
an army of poeta suddenly coming out of
hibernation and hurling themselves Into
tho fray.' dej.lljo'ut' poetry at every pore
although much preferring to rhyme with
name. Ilk IHx Hughes than names
like Btlmson or Lorimer. Why, polltlca haa
given Impetus tot .poetry since way back
before toce glof (ous,day when aome mute,
lntrlortousilkomer,' j, 'mssybe he waa only
a baae hltj Casfied;'off 'that two-liner about
'Tlrperanoe.. and; Tyler, too!"
"The nlytlm when politico ever put a
dent'tti pqetjrytvaa, len the burning Issue
only, It waa put out promptly waa silver.
Tho reajJon 'for Wie Haoc played with poeta
n; thl jHer Hn tfciuiy rhyme for silver,
andt more- than 'there la ' for fifth a fact
which' li'mrfkirTx the flbet laureate of Eng
land gnaw, qp pens, and pencils in an alarm
ing manner trying ta produce something
nice RbMit'.eftrge' the' Klvo Times Jn time
for the big loi.,., . , -
"Polities' -ha always been tho band-
v; - .
(f Military Mjician
The story Is told of General Grenvllle M.
Dodgu, president of tho Society of the
Army of tho Tennessee, that he waa talk
ing one Memorial day In Council Bluffs
about railroading.
"The best piece of railroad work I ever
heard of." he said, "waa performed In
1A64 In Maryland. The confederatea were
in great need of a locomotive, and their
only hope was to capture one. Bo a small
band of men waa selected from Lees
army and placed under the command of a
tall Georgian who had been" foreman of a
quarry and knew a good deal about der
ricks and rigging.
"Well, the Georgian took his men Into
Maryland, they tore up a section of the
Baltimore & Ohio tracks, flagged the first
train, and, with nothing but a rope, dragged
a locomotive fifty-seven miles up hills,
acrous streams through woods and swamps,
till they struck a lino built by the con
federacy. "When tho president of the Baltimore A
Ohio heard of this feat he wouldn't believe
It. lie went out and .personally inspected
the route, and ho said on hla return that
it was the most wonderful plecs of engi
neering that had ever been accomplished.
After tho war he sent for the tall Geor
gian and on the strength of that one exploit
made him roadmaater of tho whole BaJtl
more & Ohio. -
" 'Any man,' the president said, 'who
can pick up a locomotive with fishing lines
and carry It over a mountain has passed
bis civil service examination with me.' "
' Each of King George's sons will receive
S&0.000 a year from the oivil list on attaining
his majority, and each daughter 130,000
year at her majority, or marriage. .
;L6r6tta's Looking Glass-Held Up, to Queer Quirk in Women-
,tOPT1"GT. 1911. T Tt SfW TOSK fyWM TfllPam (STW n yKsiJ CU Wimiwt.
y- SOCIETY ITrM.HW. ' Hi 1
O- 1 HEN Will SING AT : fev J j
SS THE Er0CWL r?l- o N 0 W
iffp Jpm. au or her fC0pY tt ftmift) K
(XvZ (whereas that I
r(-is , J- 1 j5"-- A. stmprioN '
S -
f I FUN SHORT &yPx-
f. : f "V
Back Numbers fl. .. Tying. Up Elephants II
This is fie
Day We
Celebraie
E Mr.
a. . . . .iii
f
i
My guest burstMn - upon .mo with an
appearance that would have done credit
to a leading lady In a melodrama. Her
lips were compressed, her eyes flashed,
and the curls In her hat brim danced up
and down as If they were on spiral springs.
"Mercy! what's tho matter?" I cried.
"That ' elevator boy! He Is Insolent!
He was ,not going to bring mo up! Ho
asked me 'What s your name?" In the
moat .offensive fashion! I .told him it
waa none of his business. And be said
he would not bring me up. Oh! It's out
rageous! I will not be Insulted by a black
man!"
To bo appreciated tills burst of oratory
should bo seen as wsU ast beard. She tore
her veil from under prr phln. Bho yanked
tho ends of It loose and focarot to take out
the long barpln that moored It safely and
exercised, a wise control' over tbo curls.
ho fluttered and twisted and wrtgglud aa
if in physical agony.
And oh would not bo Insulted by a black
man! ; i ' , i
Tbo -black man had not insulted her;
and I'kaew 1U But she needed calming
down. SO, I temporised.
"Thlpk you would be willing to be In
sulted -by a green or a pink one?'' I iiaa
ardod.! "Don't .try to be funny!" she scorched
rather than observed. v'The Idea of my
havlnif to tell him my name and have It
sent up o you ovary time I come! It s
absurd; yAs well acquainted as we are!
Ho knows It anyway! You seem to think
It s all right!" k
The last observation came like a bolt
out of a clear sky. For It was tbo truthf
and olio had been so busy with sucn a mas
of mmglsd exclamations that', confer hed
herself thut I waa not prepared for .the
audden li sp she made Into tho midst of me.
You see, I had given- the elevator, mat)
instructions not to bring any one 'up with
out announcing the visitor. And he was
executing my orders. 1 mule up'my mind
that. In Justh-e to him and in' justice it
myself and my time, thst haa a eooimortlal
value, I would make a clean breast of It
"I told him not. to. ,a,llow any vre to
come up. I had to do It. It was necessary
to defend myself from my friends In order
to get my work done," I said.
Then ,the queer quirk became evident.
"Oh! I supposed you and I were good
enough friends to dispense with formality,"
she said stiffly. -i
"Indeed wo are!" I exclaimed. "I could
enjoy myself doing . Just that dispensing
with formsllty. But tho butcher does not
like to have mo generous In that way. He
likes cold -cash. And the grocer has the
same bad taste. Sometimes I think he eats
with hla pocket book!"
But being facetious did not help.
"I never supposed that -you could make
a stranger of pie! Of course, I know you
have your work. But you feel that I could
not interfere with that, don't you? Nat
urally, other people might worry you; but
I can Just wait till you are dona. I'm sure
I never distract you .','
Well, the point of it all Is that the queer
quirk In many women Is th fact that each
of them sees herself sa tbo exception; and
she , gets Indignant and offended If you
cannot see-her in the same way. I have
about, twenty of those exceptional friends!
And all. of them .disturb me as little as
this one. At any old time they come. I
have a day at horned They forget.lt. Then
they make life a burden for me by enrag
ing the elevator .boy and exciting me till
r
The New Man
J
"CHARGE OF THE LIGHT
BRIGADE."
We hear a great; deal of talk about the
"pew woman", and very little of the "new
man," but of ourso there Is a change' in
wasculine. ' for'-av'itbou the new-vtnan the
modern, woman w'ould be ah lmposalbllltj.
The,, amaxln'g 'dung wom'ttn we see around
us ,eould-hardly exist If men did 'not ap
prove and aanrtton the change; certainly
they' wdulrt find hat 1 called OuWic opin
ion far more .against .litem, than H s- For
the Buperfur ; masculine person' Is. Inclined
to let woimm take hr own line-lit various
(and even devious) directions, without
any protest on his part. He is disposed
to allow her the Urgent latitude in develop
ing her character and personality.
if he haa no objection to her being eco
nomically Independent of himself, he Is
ready to admit that he cannot, loyally
make fiarder and faater rules aa to conduct
than he does for himself. There are. al
ready a considerable number of newly mar-
r- jwrsuna, wo go so iar as to set up
separata establishments In order to avoid
the frets and jars which do so much to
ward devastating th married state. And
invariably . when that universal topic of
converaatlon, women's suffrage, comes up,
as It always does every dinner party now
adays, we find the new man advocating
th claims, of his feminine contemporaries
to cltlsenshlp as strongly as the women
themselves. i
X could write nothing but long strings of
Impolite words. I wonder when woman will
bo emancipated from the superstition ' that
he Is the exception.
Sir Patrick Spans, tendon surgeon,
praised at a dinner lrt."New 1 York the
abundant and timely reading matter that
American physicians hayjj In thetr. wait
ing rooms.
"The English physician, offers his pa
tients reading matter, but I km afraid it
isn't always 'up-to-date. One '' of your
American millionaires consulted me in
Harley street laat month. He waa kept
waiting about an hour. When he finally
entered my Inner office he looked very
much bored. .vi
" 'I see by your papers,' doctor,' he said,
with a yawn, 'that it to. rumored that two
Dayton men, Orville and Wilbur Wright,
can actually fly.' " .
Th Key to the Situation Bee Want Ads.
In CoVIOn the' natives capture wild ele
phants by lassoing them and tying, their
hind legs to trees. Thus tied, they are left
to struggle for four or five days. If the
ropes be well secured and knotted the ani
mals struggle in vain, for they. are unable
to exert their 'full strength toward getting
free. When they, hay grown, tired , of the
fruitless fight they are tied by th neck
between two t a trie elephants and marched
off to the tea plantations or the railroads,
where they are put to work. Under .the
tuition of tame elephants they learn rapid ly
to perform the labor that Is' required of
them and soon are able to lay railroad ties
accurately.
Oldest library in New York Is th ' So
ciety library. It was started In 17M.
i i -
WHEN A MART MARRIED
That rar vent, a ruby wedding, was
celebrated In Balfour village, bhauniikev.
Orkney islands, recently, by Mr. and Mrs.
John Orever. They were married in IsU.
and thvlr retpecllv age are si and ai
ara
ITS ATOLLY MClCT II '
'Jtou "To ASK ME. cao . 1 ... SuSlL 'S ' A 5o
This way. Blt ivorr ) V - f ismu'JoneS. H 2UrW
CT FXnr TKC JJS . ..; I rn-rHouSHT HEt 5f J
l2E.tXJ ATACe. cpflvT r7 rrCLp"' La HEM
""THE. FACT TVMTT THErS I'LL SNEAK OUT Aw' rup AM. Wn,, Vtw
MAOk MVVXOBPS! IpltSH ME-
JfR ttr4 iiMPoerrrWT .. cu-r CT ME fLU 1, ' rir,-
sjWV wBuSlNE5S LrArLMEKT LEAVE-You. a PCCeof Pitrplf I
WILLIAM WATTS
3416 Maple.
Name and Address.
Robert Anton, 1803 Center St
Mario I. Bowman, 3115 South Sixteenth St
Fiances B. Boyd, 1711 Dod(?e St
William Barry, 2624 Decatur St ,
Scott Craig, fi$20 North Thirty-sixth St
William Dugdale, 4032 Seward St
Helena DeBune, 4104 North Twenty-eighth Ave
Josephine Elllck, 6002 California St
Emma Edqulst, 802 North Forty-second St
Samuel Fales, 2021 Center 8t
Josle Frank, 1210 South Twentieth St
Joseph Gross, 2423 South Twentieth Ave
Robert II. Green, 1023 South Twenty-ninth St
Marguerite Hess, 5416 North Twenty-fourth St
Lucile Hensmau, 6808 North Twenty-fourth St
Carson Hathaway, 5011 California St
Johanna C. Jensen, 977 South Fifty-first St
Benjamin Jacobson, 1802 North Eighteenth St
Mary Kosik; 1407 South Fifteenth St
Effle V. Kelly, 1030 South Twenty-eighth St
Mary Kublcek, 1917 South Fourteenth St
William Lllley, 3033 South Eighteenth Ave
Florence Marcley, 1809 Lincoln Ave
Richard Mana, 420 North Sixteenth St
Edith E. Morris, 2424 Emmet St
Irio M. Massengill, 1609 North Twenty-fourth St.
Edwin T. Maddison, 4913 North Thirty-iifth St
Mary Miller, 3509 X St., South Omaha
Oneida Moran, 3035 Leavenworth St
Johannes P. Petersen, 3220 Mami St
Sophia Posowsky, 1433 South Sixteenth St
Johannes V. Petersen, 3220 Miami St
Claire Patterson, 2423 Cass St
Leslie C. Palmer, 3316 Spalding St . . .
Donovan Roberts, 2228 Burdette St
Anton Step&nek, 3130 South Sixth St
Floyd Stryker, 213 North Twenty-fifth St
John F. Stuhldreier, Twelfth and Kavau Sts
Cecil W. Smith, 2212 North Thirtieth St
Marguerite Shum, 2622 Charles St
Irma D. Savage, 2818 Crown Point Ave...
Vit Sedlacek, 1707 South Eleventh St
Clarence Van Dusen, 4819 Leavenworth St
Mary Vorel, 464 North Thirty-sixth St
William Watts, 3415 Maple St....
Ruth M. Wall, 1205 Fifth St., Florence.
John L. Welche, 2223 Binney St
Edwin S. Wilcox, 1314 South Thirty-first St
Ituth Zimmerman, 3117 South Nineteenth St....
June 12, 1911.
School.
St. Jowph ..... . .
Kdw. RoBPwater. .
Central
Long . f
Central Park ....
Walnut Hill
High
i Saunders '
Saunders
, Castellar
Mason
. St. Joseph
Park
. Saratoga ......
. High
. High ;
Heals . . . . ,
Kellom .........
, Comenius
, High . . . . . :
, Lincoln
, Vinton .. . . . .
, Castellar
, Cass
, Lothrop
Kellom
, Monmouth Park . .
, St. Joseph. . . .". . .
, Park
, Howard .Kennedy.
, Comenius
, Franklin
, High . . .. . .'.
. Monmouth Park. ,
. Lake ... . . . . . . .
. Bancroft , . . ... . .
. Central . . .. . . . ,
. Edw. Rosewater. ,
. Howard Kennedy.
. Long ... .a ... . .
.Millet Park......
(Lincoln
, Beals ',fV. , . . ...
. Monmouth Par,k. .
. Howard Kennedy.
. Sacred Heart. . . .
. Sacred Heart: . . .
. Park :v'.,..."...
. German Lutheran
Year.
.1904
.1901
.1899
.1899
.1903
.1905
.1895
.1905
.1902
.1900
.1898
.1897
.1897
.1902
.1895
.1894
.1903
.1903
.1893
.1896
.1902
.1899
.1892
.1899
.1901
.1905
.1897
.1895
.1900
.1904
.1904
.1894
.1895
.1900
.1899
.1905
.1903
.1900
.1905
,.1904
.1904
.1899
..1901
.1904
.1902
.1904
.1899
.1901
J ;wfiy Women and Men Turn Smugglers j
Are many Woman, liara at heart and many
men thieves by design? And will some wo
men keep on smuggling because they can
not help It and some men because tney
seek material gain by it? Georg J. Smyth,
the BDeclal deputy surveyor of New York,
sees no sex Influence in the act of defraud
ing the customs; the purpose or the end
to be accomplished alone Is different.
A woman attempts to smuggle things for
herself or her Irlends to wear, while a man
tries to defraud the government ao as to
dlapose of smuggled goods to hla personal
financial advantage, la tho conclusion oi
Theodora Beau in th New York Telegram.
The customs court' of third degrees cen
ters about Mr. .fcmyth' offic. Mr. Smyth
Is affable, clear sighted, smooth faced,
balanced, unprejudiced, but alert.
"Tho chances ar that smuggling never
will ba don away with," said he. "Women
always pursue a bargain, no matter the
price others wbq have gone before have
paid for tho Luxury, and any number of
men won't shrink from making a dollar
even If they take a risk in the venture.
There are few new styles In smuggling.
"1 have observed that women smuggle
things for their own adornment, but men
smuggle to make money. 1 am not speak
ing of dressmakers, milliners and other
merchants, which are of both sexes. It
lsn t that women haven't a nice sens of
honor, but rather they haven't always a
sense of customs, ' while men know what
tbey are doing."
"What has been th boldest piece of
smuggling lately noticed by the custom
inspectors?' .
"That of Mrs. Adrtance of Poughkeepsie,
who brought in a pearl necklace in the
piping of th trimming in her hat."
"How did yoi'et th tip?"
"From the "women inspectors at toe
docks."
There are four women Inspectors at pres
ent, but th number will be doubled In a
month.
"The tight skirt has helped us a lot," said
the older of the pair. "Women can't wear
furs and luces wrapped about them with
out having them show. We find Jewels in
their stockings, the toes of their shoes. In
umbrella handles, In muffs, in the hems
of their skirts."
"Do they ever conceal them in their
switches or rats?" 1 asked.
"Not so far. We always search th rats
of a suspected person."
"What constitutes a suspected person?"
"On who is either tipped otf to th cus
toms or who betrays the fact by her
anxiety, the algns of which ar most fami.
liar to us. Then w act."
"Th funniest thing we have seen was
tho woman smuggling In Havana cigars
in a petticoat quilted throughout and ac
tually filled with cigars." spoks Vip the
other. "It certainly looked queer under a
tight skirt."
- "What thing make you lusplred to act?"
The younger woman anawered: "The pas
senger actions at the pier. The women
frequently try to pass in articles to friends
who have gun ju meet them. They say,
'Hold my muff while I find th keys to
my luggage.' In that muff are often found
Jewels and laces. Bometluies they ar hid
den in the lining, but we know the mufl
episode means something, and we set about
to find just what It stand for.''
What th women Inspectors did not tell
me is that for few Xraoc a, week, sales
men in Fails win report, nig .purchases
made by Americans. Hence the significance
of the customs phrase, "We are acting on .
a tip.
Smuggling will go on quietly, and th
virtuous mother of au estimable family
will scheme to get the' befct 'of the port.
Why? Because she isn't a eitlnen and has
nothing to do with the making of customs
laws?
Not necessarily; because she wishes to
that is all.
Primary Astronomy
J
"The late Goerge Cary Eggleston was
In the confederate army," said a New York
editor, "and, as Memorial day approached,
he would narrate at the Author's club
many a memory of war time.
"I liked to hear his yarns about the
chlld-llk minds of slaves. He one told
me, for example, about a 'grizzled Slav
named Uncle Cal, body servant to 14s
colonel.
"As Kggleston sat before a campfira one
coollsh autumn evening, watching Uncle
,Cai mend th colonel's coat, the crimson
and gold glory of the autumn sunset, turned
the talk to astronomy, and EggletttOn said:
" 'You see, Uncle Cal, the world la round,
like an apple, and It goes round, too
round and round it goes all th time.'
" ' Hit's round an' hit goes round,' said
Uncle Cal skeptically. 'Hut what I wanter
know is, what holds it up?'
" 'Why, you sue, Uncle Cal,' said Kggles
ton, 'th world goes round the sun, and
the sun holds It up by attraction, you
know.'
"L'ncle Cal glanced from his coat mend
ing to Kggleston with a patronising smile.
"'Honey,' he said, 'Ah reckon yo' hain't
gone far 'nough Ir yo' rsonhV. V, it
yo' surmlsatli'd wua correct, what wotild
keep de world up when de sun went down?
Answer tne dat, hon!' "
DOTH EARLY.
Mi
Tba early bird get the worm
"Yea; but the early. worm gts
bis.'