THE REE: OMAHA, THURSlUY, MAY 23, 1911.
15
J' rJhc ee'g jn -ya
azire
Serious History in Comic Vein
The Evacuation
New York.
J
The BEES cTum'or Birthday Book
If ML.
l :
Jr: " II
I
J
7tcrd
D
. rou"
Well, I ee the Ooorge family In niaklns
trouble for us sssln." said Phow-Me Pmlth.
the eminent dealer In home-made history;
V "though I suppose we'll have a quiet sum
1 mw on arrount of It."
V "What George family?" I asked, won-
derlng what he'd discovered now.
'"Why. Oeorge King-George V. King."
snewered Show-Me. "the man that the
cause of the evacuation of New York."
"Oh. I see," 1 "you mean King
George III."
"No; that' the decree that Invented It.
Every day's evacuation day now In New
York, and all on arcotint of your uncle.
George. V. I suppoee George Three gave
him a transfer good for another evacuation
day. More'n likely, though. It waa a
reign check good for another coronation.
"Anyway, every dollar I get close to
nowadaya m to be outward bound
with a couple or three Americana tied to
It. The other time, a hundred years or o
ago aa near an I can figure It out. It wai
mostly British who were on their way.
and the rolka who were seeing them ofJJ
j i j . . . .. .. . . . l
uiuu i care a continental aoout wnetner
crowns were pinned on straight or slde
way "These evacuation days are different,
though. They tell me they're hanging onto
the rails of every boat over to Ixmdon
begging the captain to tell 'cm where they
can get rid of their money quickest. Pa
thetic Right are witnessed at the dock
every day when some poor fellow with a
couple of millions In loose change Is left
behind In the rush and has to get rid of
his cash In the slow old New York way.
"I'll bet not more'n half of these corona
tloners se the lid put on George at that,
for they tell me the house waa sold long
sgo and the ticket speculators have all
closed out.
"That flrt evacuation day you couldn't
have hired a New Yorker to take a run
me Duacn. nave a look at a
f king a
rand I
trcaua
king and slip a landlord a couple of thou-
for a week's board. Maybe it was
e New York wouldn't v- . .
f
Tabloid History
ciKmernm in me list or presidents I
v'V'ysscs Simpson Grant, the famous
1 cr.il who condurted several of the stli
1 campaigns In the civil war. He was
at Point Pleasant, Ohio, on April 17.
Eighteenth In the list of presidents stand
gen-
stlrrlng
born
1822,
end died at Mount McGr-Ror. sear Sara-
tops. N. Y., on July 23, 185.
Grant's ancestors came to America and
sm'cd in Dorchester. Mass., in 130. He
wss the oldest of six children and spent
his boyhood on his fanner's farm, which
was more congenial to him than the work
in his father's tannery. After attending
the village school he waa appointed In
the spring of 1S to a West point cadet
thls. and when he graduated from the
military academy In 143 he stood twenty
first In a class of thirty-nine.
His first fighting was In the Mexican
w; r. whore he rendered brilliant .service
rrd Joe to the rank of captain, besides
winning the personal praise of General
Votth. He resigned his commission in
ltU and retired to the Ufa of a farmer and
a elortkecptr until the outbreak of the
2 '( tvr. when he enter
L teo:. His brilliant
VVW flppl were follower
rred the army as a volun-
llant victories on the Missis-
followed by his Virginia cam-
I nlfn, with Its fierce fighting, culminating
In the final movement of the national
foic.-s which Grant gathered around Rich
mond. After ten days' marching and fight
ing, the campaign waa coded. Petersburg
and Richmond were taken. Grant pursued
and overtook Lee. who surrendered to him
at Appomattox court house.
In Grant's presidential election In IMS.
Virginia, Mississippi and Texas did not
participate, not having compiled with the
"reoooatruc tlon " requirements of congress.
During the first year of his admlnlstre-
3
Queer Croesus
"Millionaire Brown" Is an American
clttsen who, for ths last twenty-two years,
has lived on a yacht moored In ths river
off the little English port of BrtghUuvgeea.
He has been a food frleud to the little
town and now ths decision of ths king's
benrh division that Brown la a resident
In England and must therefor pay Income
tax, la causing- much anxiety am on" the
Inhabitants of Brlghtllngsea, who quite
expect to wake up on morning to find an
smpty berth and some distant smok on the
horlson.
Bayard Brown has hitherto been free not
only from payment of Income tax, but also
of harbor dues and rates. At on tlm be
had a modest hull, afterwards hs bought
from a peer of the realm ths yacht which
he now Inhabits, th Valfrayta. Ths price
paid fas said to havs been fcSQ.OOO, so Uttls
wonder he is dubbed "Millionaire Brown"
and la sought by th income tax man.
Brtghtllngsea has some quaint yarns about
his passion for geeierorlty and lndhscrtml
nat charity. Hs has been known to scat
ter fold In th street and to dip his hand In
a bag of sovereigns and oblige visitors
who have rowed out to his yacht to ask
for money.
Th Valfrayta has a crew of about twenty
man who are more Ilk th tlvsred staff of
a duke's town house than th sailors of a
yacht. But It la always kept under steam
ready te put to ss at a moment's notice,
though It rarely ahlft Its anchorage.
STUNG 1
taw you irt the subway yes
terday, Mr. Laxby."
Did you? Why. 1 didn't M
I tuppoM not I wm tandin(
EVACUATION DAY
more'n M a head those days I don't know.
" 'Good morning,' I says to an evacua
tion day celebrator at the docks the other
day, 'have you got seats In the grand
stand r
" 'Seats In the grandstand!' says ha.
Slr. I have bought the whole gTanditand
and had a hotel thrown In. I'm thinking
of let? sing a gallery in the Abbey, too. I'm
no piker.'
" 'No,' I says, 'you're only shopping.
Bong voyage. Enjoy yourself 1
"That first evacuation day didn't seem
to make little old New York very lonesome
and maybe these days won't, either,; but
what gets me Is how we're going to get
the money back.
"These 1911 evacuation day folks may be
all right but I got a look at three per
fectly good kings last night and It only
cost me $15, and I didn't have to go to
London, either."
(Copyright. 1911. by the N. Y. Herald Co.)
of the Presidents
EVERY DAYS
NOW."
, -. f. :.-
tion, however, these three states were
restored and the reconstruction was con
summated. Grant served two terms. One
of ths most Important events of his ad
ministrations was the adoption of ths fif
teenth amendment to the constitution,
which guaranteed to all citizens of ths
United States ths right of suffrage with
out rsard to race, color or previous con
dition of servitude.
(Copyright, 1811, by the N. Y. Herald Co.)
r
Farm Sinks in & Hole
J
Much excitement has been caused In th
vicinity of the home of John Goebel, In Arm
strong township, eleven miles north of
ETvansvllle, Ind-, by the sinking of a patch
of ground on Goebel s farm, say the In
dianapolis News. Near Mr. Gosbel'a house
is his peach orchard, about 100 yards long
and U yeads wide and containing almost
an acre of land. Several day ago the
orchard bean to sink slowly and has now
gone down about six feet and the land la
till sinking. There Is a pood In the mid
dle of the orchard and as the land began
to sink the bad of the pond cracked and
all ths water disappeared through the bot
tom Into the earth. The, pond la now filled
with large cracks.
The sunken ground la In the shape of a
hen's era', end Is pointed at one end. The
trees are standing In t sot, but severai large
crevtcea have appeared among; them. Mr.
Goebel aays people he has talked to are of
the opinion that there is a large cave un
derneath his farm. Hs has stuok poles
through ths cracks In the sunken ground
to a depth of ten feet or more and failed
to reach bottom. Mr. Goebel's houss is
bout ten steps from the sunken orchard.
Good Chance to Work
J
George Perkins who has withdrawn
from the banking; houss of J. P. Morgan
4c Co. to devote himself to the great pub
llo questions of the day said at a recent
dinner In New York:
"Ours Is a country of phenorrlenal pros
perity. There la no such prosperity any
where elss on earth. Here we have work
for alL In fact we have such a scarcity
if labor hers that ths western farmer waa
hardly Joking when he Inserted In ths
newtpspers this want ad: .
" 'Wanted Harvest hands. Hired girl
blend and pleasant Phonograph musle
duiinr mesls. Pis three times a day. Six
lumps of sugar to each cup of coffee.
Hammocks, leather divans, cosy corners,
feather beds. Rising hour, 19 a. m. Organ
concert every evening. Free chawing and
smoking. Come one, come all.' "
Let the It 11 Alone.
Weary Yolo from Doorway Mr dear
sir, I have absolutely no objection to your
coming her and stttlnz up half ths night
with my daughter, nor to your standing
on ths doorstep for three hours saying
guod-nlahL But In consideration for the
rest of the household who wish to get
sleep, will you kindly take your elbow off
the bell-push? London Optnlom.
Ths Key to the Situation ttas Want Ads.
(GrO way'J
( urs
Loretta's Looking
Cannibals have all sorts of ways that ar
doubtlessly humorous and delightful to
them, of preparing th victual victim for
th . boiling pot. But they are always
marked by a superabundant of fat-prod uc.
Ing kindness. Apparently they want to re
duce the mental energy and consequently
suffering to a minimum so that layers and
layers of adipose may accumulate auccu
lently on the bony framework of the hu
man Hellcacy they mean to devour. i
But the head hunters of a department
store have no such tender mercy. They
want to "break In" the new business
woman with every form of torture possibls.
They want to tear down her womanly re
serve. They want to shock her Into Insensi
bility, and, eventually. Into participation
In their slangy and even profane manners
of speech.
Yes. 1 am talking about girls, ths girls
who were salesladies and models In a
certain fashionable suit store particularly
inspire ths trade.
And the victim of their "break ing-ln"
mistreatment waa a young designer who
took her first business position among
them.
She began by "begging pardon" when
she passed in front of one of them. And
"cut H!" was ths elegant response her
courtesy met. When she happened to men
tion a book sbs had been reading aa an
interruption of the stream of gossip that
was making ths air of her smsll studio
unoomfortable shs waa squelched with
"Get on to the high-brow!"
Her hours were somewhat shorter than
ths hours of ths salesladies. I call them
that because tbey like It. not because this
particular group deserve It. They began
heckling her with aide remarks about her
being "too nifty for their bunch."
There waa a carefully preserved stats
of belligerency between the employes and
the woman In oharge of the department.
The woman frankly called the salesladies
by a name that cannot be published. And,
Judging from the way they behaved the
terra waa at fault only In Its Inadequacy I
to do them full Justice.
IVdTl t V f II stTTl I
MI55U5 could why wo poor
YOU SPARS c-T J.y
AN MOM EST nTT' .
SOME Oi-O t I I
asrrsisjrr, mi. it Tmi wmmm nuaaui sww mm sgans Pay si mtt tw
COME AWM,
l ME 9XCt
Ct'Va VV
AWY . J
sti if rows
NKIK.ntMK MKT
A 3W out: rpo
Glass-Holds it Up to Breaking-In Process
Business women, they called themselves!
And It would have taJten hard scratching
to find more than half a doaen among ths
twenty of them who hsd the least desire
to give their services in return for their
salaries. Tbey worked because they had
to, and they did as little as they con Id
and still be retained.
Ths designer. was "broken In." Bo com
pletely broken In that she left the place
at the end of two weeks In an ambulance.
And ths burden of iier walling delirium
was, "I'm sorry I apologised for stepping
on your toe! I won't do It again!' or "I'll
never be refined again If you think I do tt
Just to act smart!"
Tabloid Truths
Tell a woman she is dull and she Is apt
to disprove f. br ct.tUng you.
Ths next best. Ihing to profiting by our
mistakes Is not to make any.
The girl with freckle has an advantage
over th leopard, who cannot change his
spots.
A Utrte change In
two In th weather.
th pocket Is worth
Many a man gets a pretty bad fall from
being thrown on his own resources.
Married couples should remember that a
heated argument Is a poor substitute for
a furnace fire.
Why should a man make a fool of him
self when there are so many women anx
ious to do th Job?
About th most Useless thing In the
world Is to offer a reward for the return
of a lost opportunity. -
Can You Beat It?
!HUH: 50ME BODY'S
STAKED That
TSamp to a
tSPftlNCy QotFlT-
AvV
I tt I rg t TV 1 i Altai J II 'tJ
DID Y'lVER NOTICE THAT
UiMal nnos HtA9T
KMOM WHAT ITS F0 ? THAU I
HIS WmP GrsT5.TT
ONLY XltHt aAS5 03 Aj
by jinks, ipw
auiT ViUdKf A
pippin, 4twjrj
A IT IHTTAWB
.Ths sister who came to watch beside
her bed was amased at the queer pleas.
But she knows now that the barbarity of
so-called business women made a perfect
Inferno of th abort business experience.
She know that th dainty ways were
ridiculed. She knows that the pretty man
ners were reviled. Bhe realises that the
refinement of the designer made her unfit
for dose association with some of her sex.
so unfit that she had to seek a more con
genial atmosphere In the carbonic clean
liness of the hospital. And she found th
cbang and contrast restorative. A nice
comment on th kindness of girls to each
"At SO degree below." said an Alaskan,
recently In Seattle, "the exposed earn,
hands or nose will freese In going a quar
ter of a mile under ordinary circumstances;
but the children go and come from school
as usual without suffering from the cold
provided their faces and hands ar pro
tected. "Thy soon get used to It- But caution
must be used to avoid drawing the cold
air Into the Jungs, and It Is dangerous to
breathe through the mouth. More die from
pneumonia brought on by freezing the
lungs In that way than from any other
form of exposure. Horses are protected by
breathing bags, which extend down from
the nose of the animal about eighteen
Inches and are open at the bottom. Th
breath which Is exhaled warms the sir In
th bag before It Is tnhalsd and drawn
Into ths lungs. And men wear a 'parky or
headdress which extends over the face and
affords similar protection.
"In th Canadian districts tb northwest
mounted police regulate the treatment of
horse on th freight wagons and stag
lines In a moat humans manner, so as to
prevent them from suffering In this way."
J j Beating the Cold J
(T3EARIF. i GAVE 5on& Of)
tyouw CCD Ci-O J H a TO I f
r-OVKOLDCLOThfSlO I
This 23 (he
Celebrate
May 25, 1911.
Name mud Acdrps.
John Augh, 32S4 South Thirty-second
Capitola Butts. 1615 Hamilton St
Warren Brrckrnrldge. 3(11 Jackson St
Edwin J. Bralley. 1816 Dodge 8t
Edward R. Chrlss, 40S1 Wirt St
Rose Conn, 3006 Dewey Ave
Wilbur Cadwalder, 1111 Grant St....
Erereth Charnquist. 1309 South Twenty
John H. Dennison, 1617 Burdette St
Emma Ely, 1018 Caw St
Mona M. Edlngton, 2007 St. Mary'e Ave
William M. Toral. 1418 Pierce St....
James Casson. 1920 South Thirteenth St Lincoln
Merel Gilliam, Twenty-fourth St. and Woolworth Ave. Mason ......
Charles Hunter, 2112 Lake St. Hlph 1895
Dorothy R. Hearle, 2386 South Thirty-fourth St.... Windsor '.V190S
Grace Hansen, 2526 Lake. St. Howard Kennedy. .TJ
Albert Honack, 1701 North Thirty-first St Franklin 1903
Mary Hanlsxewskl, 3666 South Thirty-first St Im. Conception ... 1898
May E. Johnson. 3116 Miami St .....Howard Kennedy.. 1905
Elly Jensen, 3036 South Twenty-eighth Ave Vinton 1900
Daniel Jones, 915 Castellar St St. Patrick 1896
Annetta Keiner, 1602 Military Ave High 1893
Annie Kelser, 1020 Lincoln Ave.... Lincoln ..1899
Genevieve La Chapelle, 2711 South Fourteenth St. .'. Bancroft 1904
Clarence Lindeman. 2858 Ohio St Howard Kennedy. . 1900
Violet Larson. 2516 North Twentieth St
Rose Lykachkln, 1422 South Thirteenth
Hasel Lin d bloom, 607 North Forty-first Ave
William Sidney Littell, 3324 Fowler Ave
Gertrude Maytham. 2959 Farnam St
Kent Mead, 1042 Georgia Ave
Leonard McGowan, 2414 South Twenty-ninth St.,
Dorothy M. Merrlam, 2654 Pratt St
Katherln McArdle, 1307 South Twenty-fifth Ave..
Florence Nelsen, 2604 South Twelfth St ,
Elsie M. Norton, 2508 Saratoga St. ,
Josephine Nussrallak, 1122 South Thirteenth St.,
Mary Phillips, 1008 South Thirtieth Ave Park 1904
Bern Ice Peake, 1924 South Thirty-fifth St Windsor .1900
Garfield Prranowskl, 3813 South Twenty-ninth St. . Im. Conception. . ..1903
Frederick W. Rets, 4723 North Fourteenth Are.' ... Sherman ........ 1906
Frank Resnlck, 1(22 North Twenty-second St Kellom 1895
Walter' A. Rense, 2913 Harney 8t .....Farnam 1901
Frank Sanaa, 4435 North Thirty-ninth St... Central Park 1903
William Schwartck. 4541 Grant Bt. . Walnut Kill.. 189
Xmll Stom, 1901 Wirt St ...Lothrop '....1898
Mary Trammer, 2216 South Eighteenth St St Joseph.: 1904
James Valentine, 1808 California St Cass - 1896
Warren E. Weymouth, 8810 Castellar St Windsor .;1900
BerthaWlederkehr, 2916 Meredith Ave Sacred Heart. .... 1898
Barbara Zeth, 1917 8outh Eighteenth St.. St. Joseph ..1904
American Men a
Every spring one hears the anxious In
quiry. "I tt safe for American women to
tsavet unescorted T "Presumably the answer
given, in most cases Is reassuring, for every
year Increases the exodus of American
women to the ESyalan fields across th
pond.
A woman whose Isck of an escort has not
prevented her from going wherever she
liked, says ths New Tork Bun: "Th
tourists are women. In overwhelming pre
ponderance; women traveling in parties, la
pair and even singly. Host of the women
sre spinsters; most of the spinsters ar
school teachers. There is a. sprinkling of
elderly dowagers, a handful of young girls,
a few money-mooning couples, and a con
spicuous absence of young matrons, who,
tt msy safely be asserted, pessimists to ths
contrary, are occupied at home with the
demands of husbands and young children.
"I remember one trip abroad in which
th unmarried male element on board com
prised one Roman Calholto priest, ons
school superintendent and three little boys.
On that occasion deck flirtations were In
frequent, and one worn a remarked plain
tively that she somehow felt herself entitled
to a bonus or other sign of appreciation
from the other women passengers. Inas
much as shs had eonuibutsd two out of ths
three little boys.
"Th Continental mind cannot seem to
fathom th reason why the American man
with his two weeks' vacation does not
come to climb the crags of Switzerland as
the Englishman spends his holiday. Eu
ropeans explain ths situation satisfactorily
to themselvss; It Is because American men
are a race of worms. Tear In and year out
they work themselves to the bone tn pork
packing establishments, with ths ther
mometer standing never above sefo In the
winter, never below 100 In summer. Mean
while their heartless women are galli
vanting through the capitals of Europe,
squandering ths 111 gotten gains of their
husbands and fathers upon purple hats and
fine lingerie. '
"Onskjnlght think that if anything could
dispel this Illusion It Would be the bands
of sober garbed, spectacled women who
form the mass of American tourists abroad.
Tel the middle class Frenchman or Italian
dings to the Idea of the American woman
abroad which he has gained from ths
newspapers the helreae of untold millions
In search of a husband with a title. And
as ths conversation goes on volubly at the
pension table, the little dun colored teacher
from Trsllantl. Mich., V. 8. A., who has
scrimped snd ssved money for many years
to take this trip before she dies and to
stand Just once before the tomb of Na
poleon, with Baedeker In hand, listens.
Her eollege entrance requirement know),
edge ef French Is slight, but she Is able te
galhsr that k Is the sense or the meeting
that the American woman pernontfled In
1pl' M trained nurse from Nebraska,
who does not catch their drift at allis
beyond all doubt the most prodigal and un
scrupulous of her sex. devoid of all domes
tls and womanly virtues.
"Having heard the situation aa con
cisely summed up, the DtU teacher x
euaae berealf with a amOe to betake her
self to the privacy of her own room, whar
- . :' .' ; (
t- -....dC tw.. -tl. .M.HlkMh
MARY riHL,L,irS.
1008 South Thirtieth Avenue.
Ave
,.
'.,
School.
Windsor
Long -. . .
High ...
Saunders
Twir.
. .1890
..1900
..1SJJ
..1908
Clifton HIM 1900
Farnam ..190t
Lake 1906
- sixth St
Park 1899
Lake 1900
Central ...1900
Leavenworth 1904
Comenlua ..1S0S
-rl900
.'1903
St.,
Lake 1901
.... Comenlui 1903
.... Saunders 1903
.... Monmouth Park. ..1905
High ....
....High
. ...1893
1896
.. . .1905
....189
... .1896
....1900
....1897
....1905
. Dupont . .
. Lothrop .
Mason . .
. Bancroft .
.Saratoga .
, Pacific .. .
Eace of Worms
j
shs spends a busy hour laundering a few
handkerchief in the washbowl and addres
sing postal cards to the horde of llttl
nsphsws and nieces In faraway Tpsllantl,
Mich., V. S. A. Noblesse oblige."
Walkers Before Weston
J
Robert Barclay Alia rd Ice, a Bootoh cap
tain In ths British army, who waa born
la 1TT and died in MM. waa a noted pedes
trlan. Jut the age of 15 he walked six
miles within ah hour. When h was 20 he
covered 168 miles on foot in two days, and
tn June. 1801, In excessively hot weather,
be walked WO miles In Ave days. His most
surprising perform an cs was walking 1,000
miles m 1.000 successive hours. A half mil
lion dollars waa staked on th result.
In 1815 Joslah Eaton walked 1.100 miles
In a similar number of consecutive hours.
At Sheffield, England, In ISM, Richard.
Manks walked 1.000 miles In 1,000 hours,
commencing each mils at the beginning
of each hour. He waa completely ex
hausted at the expiration of the task, and
for a time It was thought that hs would,
die, hut he finally recovered his strength.
A New Tork woman In 1857 walked 1,000
miles In 1,000 consecutive hours. Che was
only obliged to finish a mile In each hour,
and thus, by walking two miles at a time,
contrived to get an hour and a half of
uninterrupted sleep. At the completion of
her feat shs had a long, restful slumber
and awoke in possession of her usual
health and vigor.
When a great man Is laid In his grave,
lies of malice are apt to give way to He
of adulation.
THOSE KIND FRIENDa
m
I ahafl never tnarrtr."
IT '. . . i
7ui some one may i
you .fartuoe.enc of tbeso J
H t
f
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