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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (May 24, 1911)
THE BEE: OMAHA, WEDNESDAY, MAY 24, 1911.. The Omaha Daily Bee FOUNDED BT EDWARD ROBE WATER. VICTOR ROSE WATER, EDlTOR. Entered at Omaha poatofflo a seoond claaa matter. TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION. P'inday Bm, on year tlM Faturday Bee, ona year 1M laUr (without Bunday). ona year 40 Dally Be and Sunday, one year t.ut DELIVERED BT CARRIER. Evening Be (with Sunday), per month. Xo llly , (Including Hunday), per mo., too Ijj 1 y Br (without Sunday I, pew mo., too Address all complaint of Irregularities In delivery to City Circulation Department OFFICER. Omaha Th Bee Building. South Omaha M N. Twenty-fourth St. Council Bluff lit Scott 8U Lincoln M Little Building. Chicago IMS Marquette Building. Kansas City Reliance Building. New Tork M Wmt Thirty-third St. Washington T Fourteenth B., N. W. CORRESPONDENCE. Communication . relating to news and editorial matter should b addressed Omaha Bern. Editorial Departmant. REMITTANCES. Remit by draft, sprea or postal order, payable to The Be Publishing Company. Only I-cent taRj received In payment of mall account. Persona. check except on Omaha and eastern exchang not accepted. APRIL CIRCCUaTsON. . 48,106 Stat of Nebraska, Connty of Douglas. : I'wlght William, circulation manager of Tli Be Publishing Company, being duly worn, say that tlx avcrag dally circula tion, lesa polled, unused and returned copies, for th month of April, 1911, was O.U. DWIQHT WILLIAMS, Circulation Managr. Subscribed In my presence and iworn to before m this 1st day of May, 1(11. (SealJ HUBERT HUNTER, Notary Publio. acrlkra lew t1 tk.e tty Isan punrtly kal4 have Tka Bew . saali. tm chosa. AUnm wUl nn4 mm fta wa a-nti. The last excursion of tra.de booster! is always the boat The supreme court did not say the Standard might not reorganise. Calling the roll of that new Mexi can cabinet sounds like a hire of bees swarming. How Is It that no enterprising nor ellst has yet seized on the opportunity of coining the Lorlmer case? The Baltimore Sun Is fixing Itself for trouble. It published the popula tion of Houston, Tex., at 44,633. In declaring he will live to be 150, Uncle Joe Is only perpetrating a nature-fake on our. esteemed Dr. Osier. What's In a name? Perhaps we shall see, now tbftt the Wichita ball team has been transferred to Pueblo. I "Grand Jury to Take Short Rest. San Francisco Chronicle. Grand Juries evidently are perennial in that city. J Chicago papers, complaining about the 'chairman of . the city council; de clare "Too much Twigg."'' Do a little pruning.,. . Jack Johnson told a New Tork magistrate, before whom he was haled for speeding, that he was. being Der- secuted. Well, look at "Jeff." King Ak-Sar-Ben is contemplating making one of his parades this year a competitive beauty show. King Ak SarvBen gets more bold as he gets older. Omaha wants to be advertised, bat It does not want to be advertised as a place that has to have vigilance com mittees doing business as a regular institution. ' Next October California - will vote on the proposed amendment for a re call. "Boss" Reuf will scarcely know the old state when he gets out, four teen years hence. . And still when a person stands tin the threshold . of the. average legisla ture and looks over Its members, he can have little complaint coming at "Jadge-made law." .. ! ' " l'W , : It Is only the lropy , of fate that makes a man deliberately jump off the bridge to give a Job to the coroner, and then cry for help as soon as he strikes the water. ' Mr. Rockefeller saves $41 on his personal tax return this year as com pared with last year's, which will help that much to offset any loss entailed by that supreme court decision. "Six negroes lynched In Florida." It is to be hoped this will not arouse " the professional jealousy of v Missis sippi snd prompt that great common wealta to attemptto outdo Florida If Madero la not detained by work In Mexico for the new government, he might hasten north and fill a few chautauqua dates for some of our congressmen who are tied up tem porarily at Washington. Some folks are worrying as to where the money will come from to pay for conveyances for city officials to ride In the municipal parade. No need to worry over that. There should be plenty of accommodating volunteers when the purchase of more automobiles for the city Is always a possibility. , The local democratic organ accuses three democratic councilman of sn "set of betrayal" In voting for a re publican for president of the city council. When the republican coua cllmen voted for a democrat for city attorney and again for a democrat for city comptroller, It was, la lta eyee, of coarse, an act of patriotism. To an outsider they look like parts of one and the same deal to divide the pie. Lorimer Again and Yet. That the Lorlmer case is bot ' a closed Incident, and will not down, must be pretty well demonstrated with three different sets of resolutions before the senate for reinvestigation. It only goes to show the Irresistible force of public sentiment refusing to be satisfied with the former finding and the vote of exoneration by the senate by a majority of four. All that has developed In the form of new evidence since the close of the last session of congress has tended to discredit the senate's action In not holding his title to his seat faulty. The consensus of opinion Is that a new Investigation will reverse the ruling of the last senate, and that Lorlmer's tenure is good only so long as ' his friends succeed In staving off final action. The unfortunate part of the new turn In the Lorlmer affair is the un disguised effort to seise upon It for party advantage and political capital. The case ought to be decided strictly on the law and the evidence, but a threefold attempt to control the In vestigation Is discernible by the re publican regulars, the republican in surgents and the democrats, each In spired by a desire to get some prestige out of It, or, at any rate, to prevent anyone else from getting prestige out of It. So far as the publio Is con cerned, it would like to have the truth, and the whole truth, about the Lorlmer election as soon ss possible. and then wipe It off the boards. Business Outlook Brightening. The Standard OH decision, progress toward peace In Mexico, seasonable weather and promising crops combine revive confidence and make for a brighter business outlook thsn ap peared upon the horison some weeks ago. They are factors which already ave,had the effect of stimulating se urules as a forerunner to better trade In commodities. Bank clearings have showiy an Increase, and steel, the pulse that usually Indicates the condi tion of the market, manifests a de cided tendency upward.' In spite of continued contraction and price con cessions. Nothing approaching a boom Is predicted, nor Is there sny" wish or need for one, but the prophets of trade generally feel that, with a substantial conservatism underlying, business will proceed along encouraging lines for the year. What of uncertainty was felt over the Den dine- derision nn Standard Oil has been allayed, and that, undoubtedly, has a very helpful influence, though .It is not to be doubted that more was made out of this uncertainty than circumstances warranted. That is generally the case with stock markets. But since confi dence is the basic element, after all., in. .business, t Us restoration means much. : -' , , j, .. ' Better, than all else',' the country is almost bound to ntn V hnmM, har vest this ' season and to command fairly ' good prices. Overflowing- granaries are sever conducive to hard times. Grappling a Tough Problem. Governor Aldrlch has made the first move to enforce the newly enacted Albert law by officially calling upon the county attorneys In this and other counties to see that it is put into ef fect at once.. This Jaw contemplates the complete eradication of the social evil by the use of power of Injunction against publio resorts, and in theory la the most drastic legislation on this subject that has been proposed. ; The law nearest akin to It is that enacted two years ago In Iowa, where there is still a decided difference of opinion as to what results It has produced. The social evil is naturally the most acute in the larger cities, and efforts along the line of the Albert law have almost invariably simply scatteredhe undesirables previously confined within a red light district. What the result will be In Omaha, assuming that a vigorous law enforcement pro gram Is carried out. Is yet to be seen. We believe the problem must be at tacked more with preventive meas ures, or at least that preventive meas ures snd repressive measures must go hand in hand if the resulting condi tions are to be better rather than worse. Magic of Publicity. St. Louis and Baltimore, two of the strong, conservative cities that bor der on the, southland, are planning campaigns of growth and expansion, disappointed and dissatisfied with the progress made in the last decade. Both recognize Judicious advertising as their modus operandi. They real ize that sny advancement they make must be along industrial lines and to achieve that they must advertise their home-made articles of commerce. Wider distribution of manufactured products and the creation of new marketa depends upon how well known they make their wares. This the pro moters in both cities recognize at the outset. It is a tribute to t hair. wis dom, for every city that has made noteworthy progress by means of Im provement campaigns has relied upon the magio power of publicity. Kansas City, the alert next- door neighbor to St. Louis, whose example of prodigious progress Is at once a rebuke and a stimulus to St. Louis, long ago appreciated the value of the right sort bt advertising. Omaha has snd Is reaping benefits from It. Both St. Louis and Baltimore have remark able resources and advantages to ex ploit snd should with little difficulty forge ahead, with the first touch of this magic power. Commercially they are well located, 8U Louis particu larly, with the great growing south and west from which to draw and. In turn, to supply. The Missouri me tropolis, like Maryland's, has made less progress than it might only be cause it has failed to take full ad vantage of natural opportunities. When Its great wealth and energies are once pooled In a vigorous, deter mined campaign of Industrial im provement, they will, undoubtedly, produce results revolutionary In character. I Belated and Insincere. Our amiable democratic contem porary explodes with a choice lot of expletives over the election of the president of the city council, "palpa bly the result of a deal entered Into with the republican members by three democratlo members a good while ago." The three democrats who have been In the .combine which has been running the city council now for two years come In for a scoring ss traitors gone back on their party pledges, and entirely lacking In rood faith. All this, however, Is belated and in sincere, because this councllmanlc combine has from the first been an open secret and had the sympathy snd encouragement, and ' frequently the outspoken approval, ' of the World Herald. The three democrats it now denounces represent the element of local democracy with which that news paper trains, while the other three have, been allied with the Dahlman ltes, whom It has antagonised. When the same combine made other presi dents of the council and put men In the vacancies in the office of city at torney and city comptroller, over the protests of the same democratic coun cllmen whose party' loyalty IS now praised, it had no objection because the beneficiaries were democrats. In throwing such fits on this occasion its action must be prompted only by re gret that the combine's choice for once, is a republican. An Innovation in Colonels. Governor Aldrlch of Nebraska is not the only new chief executive to create an lnpovatlon respecting his official staff of colonels. He has not ap pointed one, taking the view that this branch of the government is a super numerary. Governor . Hooper, the young republican who presides over the affairs of Tennessee, however, has not only gathered about him a staff, but has gone outside of party and state lines to do so. He hss appointed democrats as well as republicans and has named a citizen of Texas as one of his colonels. He is one of the most rantankerous democrats in the Lone Star state, too George M. Bailey of the Houston Post. This is an innovation which, a un doubtedly, will attract attention from other governors. It is easier to see why Governor , Hooper, should name democrats and republicans both to membership on his staff than to ac count for . his going outside his state, for he was elected by democrats and republicans alike who had determined to rebuke the old Patterson gang in the state. But why he should issue a commission to Jhe Texas editor Is not so clear, especially since he boosted for the Paterson crowd and knocked Hooper. Perhaps the reason lies in the fact that Bailey is a news paper man and Governor Hooper ap preciates the tmpossibilty of ade quately rewarding members of that profession this side of heaven. In the governor's letter of appointment, however. Is a subtle suggestion that this office is to placate Bailey, who has the hsblt of lambasting Tennessee and South Carolina unmercifully in his paper and of booming"" everything In Texas ss the best, even to the onions and mosqultos and red-haired widows. It is to be hoped that the unregen erate democratlo editor will find time to mingle with his fellow colonels and imbibe a little simon-pure republican ism for his own, if not for their edi fication and salvation. In signing the ordinance to regulate the pool halls Mayor "Jim" explains that he does not think restaurants run in connection with them should have been permitted to keep open after midnight. Mayor "Jim" proba bly sees no reason, anyhow, for any refreshment place to keep open after 8 o clock, when the padlock Is Dut on the beer pump. For the next year It will be Judge Berka's turn as president of the city council to serve as acting mayor whenever His Honor leaves the city. It Is a aafe guess, however, that Mayor "Jim" will not be away from home during the next twelve months quite so much as he was during the last twelve months. Nine democratic membera of the lower house of the Illinois legislature walked out In disgust when a Lee O'Neill Browne henchman eulogized him as a "favorite son of this legisla ture," but the eulogy will be used by Browne Just the same for the purpose it was lutended to serve. 1 According to official campaign fund exhibits, the vsln effort of the drys down at Lincoln to hold the ltd on cost over t,200. while the outlay to elect a republican mayor was only about fT50. Either one crowd caught a bargain or the other wasted a lot of money. . "Great fortunes," says President EllleU of the Northern Pacific, "are not made by railroads." No, cer tainly not. That account for Nhe poverty of James J. Hill. J. P. Mor gan, the Gould8r the late Mr. Harri man and others. snxiua the ltjmbes trust. Washington Post: Watch the Lumber trust take to the tall timbers! New Tork Post: Whether viewed from a legal or from an economic standpoint, this government suit has Interest at the very highest order. St. Louis Republic: After th start of that suit, the Lumber trust ought to be good and stop sicking the farmers onto the reciprocity agreement. St. Louis Globe-Democrat: If lumber In terests are not In monopolistic combinations there Is not the slightest danger that any thing unreasonable will happen to them. Brooklyn Eagle: Just as soon as the Lumber trust Is dissolved th home build ing boom will be started to help tha sub sidiary companies, and th dealers subsidi ary to them. Dissolutions era costly. Springfield Republican: This government prosecution of an alleged combination of lumber producers and dealers Is calcu lated at least to lama on of th forces making powerful opposition to Canadian reciprocity. It Is to be welcomed for this if for no other purpose. Indianapolis News: If the government succeeds in the present proceeding It will attack other combinations that control the marketing of the necessaries of life As It la largely through such combinations that the people are oppressed, we shall ail hope that a way may be found, to limit their operation. CRGEXT NEED OP FREER TRADE Too Maay Combinations Sqneeae the America Cenaanaer. Indianapolis News. W may differ as to tha question of free trade with foreign nations, but there can be no doubt of the desirability of a good deal freer trade among ourselves than we now enjoy. Oreed has Interposed many obstacles between the people and their source of supply. Too many men and or ganisations take toll of life's necessities before they reach tha consumer. Con sumers, not being organised in their ca pacity as consumers, it If most difficult for them to protect themselves against extortion or to maintain their rights. Therefore, the government- is under, pe culiar obligation to enforce any laws en acted for their protection. This, of course. is th animating purpose of the suit against th lumber trust. Th govern ment has bea at work for a year gather ing evidence, so we auppoe It feels reasonably aura of Its ground. Thos who were so fearful that the administration might "run amuck" in Its fight on trusts, and so disturb business, -can now feet no alarm, for have they not been assured that no combinations would be disturbed unless they "unreasonably" restrained trade? These people can have no objection to th prosecution of trusts that are in reality trusts under the recent interpreta tion of the anti-trust taw. Clever Bit of High Finance. Pittsburg Dispatch. . Who says that college men are net prac tical In business, r Dr. Hollander, professor of political economy, selected by our gov ernment to straighten out the finances of San Domingo, Is said to have taken HO, 000 from the United States for th Job and without Iettlnrtii right, hand know what his left was doing to have accepted 1100, 000 from San Domingo. With that Intro duction, th scholaatlo economist ought to b eligible for almost any financial task In Wall street. JJe f American, Toadies. Louisville Courier-Journal. "I am being badgered to death," cries Ambassador Reld, who has the Job of selecting th fifteen Americans to b pre sented at the- ''coronation courts": in Lon don. Why not solve th problem by selling th privilege to the highest bidder and use the proceeds to build adequate American embassies abroad. Nobody Is being pre sented anyway who hasn't got great chunks of money .and they might as well pay as they go. Hew Times Have Changed. Brooklyn Eagle. Commodore Vanderbllt, were he living today, would have to get someon to tell him why railroads should make such costly effort to explain themselves to the putmc in advertisements. People Talked About J?HfT In colors bright enough to catch th eye th printed phis of John Rlngllng, with those of his brothers, has decorated every circus billboard In th land. He does not get all his money from the main tent and sideshow. When he hankers for real profitable hauls h builds railroads. George B. Cox, republican boss of ilanillton county, Ohio, having obtained a Judicial vindication, concluded to retire from politics be for another insurrection could be launched. Frederick W. Taylor, th father of scien tific management. Is engaged In a special research .for the government . which wUl determine how Mr. Taylor's Ideas can best b applied to navy yards and to fleets as fighting machines. Harry Sturtevant and Ed and Horatio Beam of Dover, N. J., are engaged In a law ult over th ownership of the skin of th only leopard ever killed li) Ne Jersey. Th leopard was In a tree and all three shot at theujame Instant. Each maintains that h killed It. Th animal had escaped Irom a circus. If President Jos de la Crui Porfirlo Diss retire from office today, as dis patches promised, he will leave a record of twenty-six years, five months and twenty-four days sa chief executive of Mexico. Ha was SO years of age September IS last, though he was commonly believed to be two years older than la officially ad mitted. Mrs. Herbert L. Cox of . Winchester, prominent In Boston society. Just has ap plied for a professional chauffeur's license Khe has driven her automobile more than 10.0U0 miles. Besides running her car Mrs. Cox also is capable of making repairs. Tire troubles caua her little concern, for ahs can tax off a shoe, put In a new tub and replace the tire as well as a professional driver. She began running a machine last summer. A W - ill s 2W . Around New York Xtlppl en th Current ef Hf as aa la th 0ra A marl can v Metropolis from Say to Pay An old-fashioned celebration of the Fourth of July on "safe and sane" lines l being planned by th authorities of Greater New Tork. Th city treasury will furnish th money and a committee Is already ar ranging a program. Th Crecrarker, th torpedo, the pistol and other cemetery pro moters ar to b banished more rigidly this year than last, and all th fireworks will be fired under official auspice. During th day patrlotio exercise will take place in the larger schools and armories, and ath let to sports, for prises, will be held In vari ous publio parks. Mayor Qaynor will pre side at the meeting In New Tork city halt. The Declaration of Independence will be read and speeches delivered by men of national repute. It I Just 108 years ago since th first common council sat In city hall, and attention will be directed to this anniversary during the exercises, which will be held on th steps of th hall and In the council room. In th evening there will be neighborhood celebrations at every important center throughout the greater city, at which there will be bands of music, singing by German singing societies and other bodies, fireworks and speeches. This feature is In charge of a committee of aldermen. Th program outlined come within th bounds of patriotism and good sense, and may be copied with profit by every community in th land. For all dogs, especially those of the wooly or furry varieties, who have to spend the coming summer In New Tork, the Blde-a-Wee home has Just Installed a new comfort parlor. The feature of the parlor Is a clipping machine, electrically operated. There are also some other accessories, such as bath tubs, medicines, sponges and combs, the Idea being to take In the hairy dog, shear him until he Is hairless, medicate him until his skin Is entirely whole, and bathe and groom him till the last of tha winter's dirt has disappeared. The clipping machine has a capacity of twenty dogs a day, whll th bath room will car for about the same number. Th 300 dogs now In the Bide-a-Wee home win be treated to a summer trimming first, and then th plant will be open for visitors. From th count kept at th municipal lodging houses of th homeless who shelter there. It Is deducted that vagrants have doubled In number In New Tork recently. Last month 18,000 persons were sheltered there as compared with 7,760 In April, 1910. This year's figures are five times the record for April, 1907. Officers of the charity organisations say that th Increase Is not confined to the city, but Is notice able all over the country. "Records show that the vagrancy evil is assuming alarm ing proportions," says a statement by Superintendent Blatchley. "Th only remedy In sight for this condition is th establishment of farm colonies Where the labors of these men may be utilized to meet the expense of their maintenance." The "open stair" tenements Just com pleted In New Tork ar a distinct novelty. There ar no entrance to th ninety-six flats In th buildings except from a large central court, on th sides of which th open stairways ar built. Entranc to th court Is through an arched passageway from the street. This form of construction. It la claimed, give 13 per oent mora bed room space than can b had In a flat build ing which has the customary entrances on th street" plus a court or alrshafu. Th open stair tenements have the advantages also that their entrance and exit ways are absolutely fireproof, being constructed of steel and concrete and at all times acces sible from the building; that each apart ment I private and that a policeman, pistol In band, can command every exit door. Whll th crowd was slowly pushing along th On Hundred and Sixty-eighth street subway station ' th other day on Its .way to a big game a man suddenly began excitedly feeling his coat front, tha coats of those near him and looking at as much of the ground as was visible, mur muring, That'a very strange! I had them on my nose a minute ago very strange!". A while later when progress had been gradually mad to the elevator a girl was punctuating her conversation with em phatic nods and thereby tickling the face of a man In th back of her with her gracefully angled plumes when he touched her upon the shoulder. "Pardon me," said he, "but do you know that you have a pair of eyeglasses in your feathers?" It took about a minute to notify the eyeless man of the discovery. "W must wag this battle until w get our oppressor, mart, reduced to the happy condition of the emu family," said the suffragette orator to her women auditors, as reported by the Sun. "When the lady emu decides that it la tlm to .raise a family she sounds a call like blowing Into th bunghol of a barrel. Mr. Emu comes and scrapes a hoi In th ground and by and by there are a dozen egg there'. Th tnal sits on those eggs, hatches 'em out after eight weeks and then takes car of the youngsters until the next hatching season, when they go to the mother. Now that Is equal labor and equal responsibility j and It la what w women ar entitled to." "Good! Good!" shouted th auditors. I th Millennium CaualaajT Baltimore American. The supreme court has decided that it Is the imperative duty of railroads to keep safety appliance in repair. It must be real repair, too, and not what la technically knownti "reasonable diligence." And In facjtof the fast-coming decisions in lt4 favor, the poor, dear public is daxedly wondering whether tha millennium Is really coming to pasa. BACK TO NATITRE. Washing ion Star. I long for life, for the real thing. Not the dawdling of dreamy days. Nor the kind that the raw-hide poets sing In carefully roughened phrase. I auk for no glimpse of the timid deer That flees from the hunter's call. Let nie go out there With the crowds that cheer -She bunch that Is playing ball. Back to the primal state where man la close to old nature o heart, Where we're all on the plan where we once began. 1'npollahed by time and art; Where the spirit of context surge fast And the chanoea that may befall Are eagerly walled from fust to latt Wher th bunch is pluying ball! Let the dreamer go out 'neath the star so bright And defy the lightning' plav. The atara sre where they belong, all right. And the lightning is miles away. And the umamed ben at will be on th run If he hear your footateps fnll. The placid wild wood I fain would shun The signal I hear, "I'lsy ball!" Let me hark to the shout and th battle cry A the foe Is put to rout; Let ma dodge the inisnllea that swiftly fly When the umpire aavs "You're out!" Let me lift may voice with the general throng. Prince and groundling and all. Where nature la unreatrained and strong. Out there wher the bunch piays ball. Sixty Years '" av S I" 1 "w y" f r 1 "fl jfm C R e: ill It makes home baking easy and gives nicer, better and cleaner food than the "ready made." There Is no baking powder or preparation like It or equal to It for quickly and perfectly making the delicate hoi biscuit, hot bread. mulUn, 'cake and pastry No Alum No Lime Phosphates tssssasBsxasi seas stss -"Altim In baking powder fs dan gerous and should be prohibited. Prof, Schweitzer, State Univ., Mo. LAUGHING LKES. Gurgled th soulful girl: "O. how Khali I write the words that put my senses In a whirl when I think of flowers and btrds!" Jabbered her brother P.I1I: "I don't know. sis. but I think I'd make a pen of a Jomiull and dip It in bobble ink." Chicago Tribune. "Jones has a snarly way about him." "The way to treat Jones Is to snarl back at him. It does htm good." "Does him good?" "Sure. It makes him feel at home." Cleveland Plain Dealer. "Where are you going with that goat, little boyT" "Down to the lake. Come along If you wanter see some fun. This here Koat has Jeat et a crate of sponges, an' I'm Koin' down an' let him drink." Toledo Blade. "Say, lies, air you gnln to hev any city fellers to board this summer?" "Yep, one feller, but they tell me he's small persimmons." "H'm! We're goln. to hev a colleee fel ler what writes books, but thev sav he I Jum a common "tater." Baltimore Ameri can. "Why, you absent minded man! Whv are you starting out with an umbrella on such a sunfthlny day?" ' I am bound for the art gallery." "But you cannot exhibit an umbrella!" "Of course not. But a notice on the GORDON. WILL If His Pension of $10 a Month Assured Needs-47 More .s . Jj jr- . S t - DOUGLAS 7163 And Address 2423 So. 24th St., Omaha, Nebraska the Best Selling Book in America As repaead Id "Th. Boofaaaa" by oSa BoobeUew i iiriMSMSssassHMisMi iiiissiiaiiiiisiiisjasiiaiisaMiissssaxiiiT "'The Prodigal Judge runs the scale of human emotions from treble to bass. In humor, wholesome ; in romance, as delicate as the odor of mignonette; in action, as tense as the U string of grip By Vaugkan Ktittr. Picture! hy Bracktr. $I.t5 met 4w vSS mBOBBS'MERRlLL(PMPANY Iac. tha SianCnrd AM return catalogue says that one must leave his fane or umbrella outslda before he can enter." Judge. "What you see In that creature to admlr I can't see," said Mrs. Duohleigh. "Why, she all made up. Her hair, her figure, her complexion every bit of her Is arti ficial." "Well, what of It?" retorted DuhblelKh. "If the world admires a self-made mat why rhouldn't It admire a self-mad woman? Harper s Weekly. "Very clever, Isn't he?" "Yes. "I'm told that his three older brothers are mentally weak." "Tee, he's the original sane fourth."- Cleveland Plain Dealer. "Thin," said the curator, displaying a mummy, "was an Egyptian princess." "Poor thing!" exclaimed the conversa tional girl. "Phe Insisted on being burled In her hobble skirt, didn't sh.e?" HouBtort post. ) I may nofc hunband hafS Mrs. Younswedd (boaatlngly)- be much of a rook, but my hunba never yet twitted mo about the better cK" and plee his mother used to maxe. Mrs. Kerne-No. dear: his father use t run a bakery. Boston Transcript. "This is a very fine dog, ma i cheap at th price,' said tne aeaier. a- "I've no doubt of it," she replied; "but r"a -I don't care to buy him until Ira sura Sr 1 ne maicnea my now - . John Gordon Is making a fight for tio a month pension for himself and to secure 12,000 mora for some charltabl or- T animation. Last year he won 1.000 for the Child Having Institute, getting aubscrip . tlons for magazines, and th expense Involved deprived nun practically of all benefits to himself. In the fail he made a contract to get (00 subscription every month 1 1 jiii Oct. 1 to May JO, for the Ladies' Home Journal and the (Saturday livening Post, and If he Bucrteils the company will deposit $2,000 with th Conservative having and Loan Association. Ha will never see the money, but h will get the proceeds from it, whlt'h will amount to $10 a month for life. On hi deatli th money will go to what ever charity orranlxatlon hla subscribers desire. eio far Mr. Gordon haa kept up with the contract. But he needs 4 7 more by May 30 to earn the full $3,000 and Insure his pen sion. He needs your order, now. His telephone Is el th V. S. lot th mooth nxaa April I t May I a banjo. The story New York Commercial r i 1 t " i ' 1 I