It
p)a
azi.rp
r
Lay of the Hotel Lobbyist
The BEE'S Jumor Birthday Eook
T1IE BEKr OMATIA. FRIDAY. MAY 0, 1011.
cB e o
,; h 'v . " .
it t-: ' 'i i .t
! vdW 7- y-f ViL-&
0 . . I sru.r n?o rrex p Ov 95000,000 e
mw wlvg kE (WATR 5rEPVAYaj
," JIow about .that. Rocky Mountain club
oping that John-.Hays . Hammond would
ill Kins l.t'ojga. some ' Yankee mining
UkM during . the .coronation 2'". asked the
ChsV Warmer. . ".. "Wouldn't tha king be
MitiVwr; - .... .
Sit If tha stock, rose," replied the Hotel
lAhtylM. blowing out a wreath of smoke.
Kings or .better take tha money when
here" are-no higher hands. And there la
perfectly god. preurdent for thia r king
elng, Interested In . good stock. Doea
iSOt the well known poet whose- name
joape mti.-but wkoae woka are known
all-, aay ki WfauK aomawhat aa-follows.
wit, "the . ktg waa Jo hla counting
' atise, counting.. ut Ike money !
"Crtalnl H flora. Nothing ka aald about
fho waa with hlrn. ;but you, might strain
bur imagination aad gnea It waa the
4merltan a mbaattadnr ta tha' coronation.
I" don't (enow -whether th present gucen
ha ny 'appetite for honey . but if she has,
you can take it frnm me that aa noon as
those mining stocks begin paying dividends'
; tieorge-V. mill hirer a -see. -I -have It on
.' good authority that mrnlng -storks are fre-
'Jy -accompanied -by bees,
jif'tin J"t see the dashing Hand raider
wao -waa niAmMtlnfn lh Iitfiyinalinrv
kit- In those' rough) days when Ioc Jame
! wit-a as treating Mig Transvaal for fever
ishnesa 1 can-see iilm'toddllng up to the
throne, tapping over tola ' Jeweled sword,
lie- Is attired In -gold-lace coat and allk
hlf-leogth harems: -wittr a' sweeping
Obelscance he draws a prospectus of the
Blub-HluUOold mlna-from teneath hU
acenery. . -
"Will the 'Royal flush with anger?
! Search roe.' if. tit mmlng-stock Is any
1 thing lika some tt 'that -With whlch'I haVa
LaDlerad Iha'Watli of r.iv airmmer 'Kunft-Aliiiv
: cr atia-CK, 1 woiihl aay that tha -king would
j te -Justified in KhoiUlrrg to his chancellor,
! 'Launch twb more dreadnoughts, levy an
income tax. call' out the "army, mobilise
the nfevy, asK the territorials to tarry, rltig
J for li e police attd 1lr tJetiartmenta, have
Mr. As'ilth aaWoUt th suffragettes, tela
prfona "Rudyard Xiihg to gb ihto action
; with rough atuft and Tnuater In tha Boy
; fecouta,- for l rrr going lo 'tartd one good
one "on trrla Tankae 3 1efire War Is de
clared.' And he'd be entitled to get away
with' If ' .''; - '
"Tf tnls goea through and' Mr. Hammond
Hicceed In landing some" gllted edged gold
atoek In the family aara of King George
FlveTme,'I can predict that soma wide-
S5giaaalBBIlJJU .'a.''' "" "''" '"
"KINK.'
awake, persuasive promoter who. Intends
to write a magazine series later will send
out some of those advertising shrieks of
Will .rat Bonanza. 10 centa a share, to
poor 'and Inconspicuous, kings. All kings
can't buy classy stock like George V., who
doea not belong to the alphabetical family
made famous by 'Madame X. But there's
one king that wild-rat promoters are wall
acquainted with."
"What king?" asked the Chair Warmei,
biting. .
' Faking," gurgled tha Hotel Lobbyist.
(Copyright, 1911. by the N. T. Herald Co.)
I.ongest Indian Word.
The longest Indian word on record IS the
following that was. printed fn an. Indian
Bible In 1661:.
Wutappeaslttukquaaunnoohwehtunquoh.
It signifies "kneeling down to him."
When ' the Rev. Cotton Mather, primitive
Boston's Puritan pastor, first saw this con
solidated phrase It prompted him to Jest
ingly observe that tha words of the lan
guage must have been growing ever sines
the dispersion at Babel.
Tart Hla Own Barber.
President Taft thlnka no one can shave
him aa well aa he can do It himself. Con
sequently, he gets out an old-fashioned
rasor every morning and removes tha presl
dental beard. He does it whether ha Is at
hr.me or on a railroad train traveling fifty
mj'-a an hour. Popular Magaslns.
M
- May 19, 1911.
This is 2ie J
Day We J P)
Celebrate
( c
' s X -wm p., aw
n
S3U2 Vinton Btreet.
LoretHa's Looking Glass-Held Up to the Woman in the Case
7
. . . '''''"aMaani
"Take my, word for It, thera'a a woman
I'tii man mIA If n n . ,A iIIbaiiMa4 Ka
Vasa of an- embeaaler: ' '
There-always 'Is! There's a woman in
very case of a man wanting more than la
rightfully hla and taking it without asking
leave. I do not mean than a woman actu
ally puts him up to do ttf I don't even
rnetn to suggest . that ths" woman for
whom' he does it Is a social' vampire, who
enriches herself on. the spoils she wrings
from men, 'Not a bit of It! Bhe Is often
a nle, q(.let little thing, who goes neatly
and sweetly to churth every Sunday. Bhe
la the mother of several equally aweet
children," who are ent conscientiously to
ttunday school. Buf the is the woman in
the mse Just the same. , .
She wants the' children to. be. as well-dieat-d
as the other children with whom
she Wishes them to associate,. She wants
to live In as' good a house s her most
exclualve and socially'' Important, neigh
bors, so that her family will grow up to
enJoy the dlstihction of a, social rating
with the local 400. Bhe likes to be able to
send the little men and women, to dancing
school so they will achieve maturity with
the ability of the well bred to be graceful,
tine-ks to have the girls take muslo lea
lonnlso they will possess the parlor tricks
that J make girls ornamental and help 'them
In 'tinning husbands., he wanta to belong
ta fyie country cliih 'to that aha and the
children may .nlngle as pari and parcels
of the outdoor life that Ig a phase of be
ing really" In "society." It is all for the
children. Bhe really scarcely - craves posi
tion for herself, . Sue only cultivates it for
them. Bhe keeps up some kind of study
that they may not have to be ashamed of
her when they are grown and college
cultured. '
And her husband works like a slave" for
the wherewithal. ,
It's the poeaesslon of things that seems
to Indicate distinction to her. It's the be
ing, seen at certain places and .with cer
tain people which looks like "society" to
her. And It all costs money. What Is
worse. It costs honor. Bhe does, not In'
quire too cloBely Into her husband's busi
ness. Bhe Just ..uses the money he fur
nlsbas to advantage and asks for more,
Bhe' drives him and goads him and nags
him and reproaches him to make his brains
turn out the golden shower. And she
does It all she honestly thinks It Is-for
the good of the children. .
Facing the fact that he cannot make
hla brains earn what hla children heed,
animated by the same mistaken belief' in
the power of money, the husband at last
pays for their advantages with his honor.
And the woman In the case, his wife. Is
accessory to the crime.
Bhe is really his accomplice. Bhe is a
recipient of stolen goods. And though she
may never face the "Investigation" that he
must meet, she needs 'to look into her own
heart, to recognise her false ambition
which she has disguised In the rich trap
pings of mother love, and before the bar
of her own conaclance acknowledge - her
guilt. It's no excuse to say "aha did not
know," "ehe thought they could afford"
How to Treat a Husband
"Where are f you going this summer 7" i won't miss gaiety of shore, you're rfureT
Soma one asked. Ifte .Wlae Wife the ether I "I didn't tell Bob tne relief of not havtng
day. ' . W.'hen .slje replied ...that "he was to see rows of women eternally rocking on
going to a remote , lake , In tbe wilds of
Canada t fiKh. and ie, a, regular nomad,
her questioner looked, properly, ay mpathetic.
"Mease don't i4 sorry for me," laughed
the Wine Wife.-bxtkmg over the pages of a
sporting maKasina, "mine- Is a case for
congratulation", not "condolence. I'm going
up with' Bob ttt ta 'as wild and untamed
aa ths flTSf Americana, and I expect to re-t
turn ten years-fjmnger. '
"You see, I have always onq to the sea
Shore wltrT mother sft sister early In June
and-' stayed untll September,, Bob would
tun down for Runrfay. and I hung around
waiting for Bundgy, to come. 'filling In the
time with gotaip. sailing. . bathing, beach
fires; and. V- Iot,of (Other' Summer sports
popular at the regulation resort. In Au
gust Bob goes, tip ln(g Vanada for a little
tiature communion,, and cornea back brown
S-nd strong as an .Indian". Borne friend of
nearly J'4 miles from
they have given u a
b asked ma when I had
the shore. '
" 'I'm not going.' " I replied.
?Npt g.Mngr "he" remarked in slow
gmajKuuentL. . . . . . - . .
" 'JN0. I'va decided lo go ifp into -Canada
With you Jnetea'a.Y 1 WpUed. firmly.
Do You . rrllv uiau iV" ha L ..1
enthusiastically. , " 'Won't it bore you
IreadfuIlyT If Itheught you enjoy it
I d W the happleer mag. m the world. It s
-elifwnat I've, beA wgnilivg to ask you te
yT every 'summer since our marriage, but
ian t aare. . n s woaoerrui us there and I
Laow it wteuld 4o yo d eAd.pf good. You
smd strong as an Ir
have a lodge
I'fiere, t6 which
A'. Last week Bob
(Tanned to go td th
the hotel plana or of being freed of the
pursuit of some callow youth who Insisted
on monopolising my card at the equally
callow hotel dances. We've been too busy
getting together our traps doesnt that
sound more like a real vacation .than
trunks'and planning how we're going to
live tha simple life. Ws seem closer to
each other than ever, because hunting and
fishing are the biggest pleasures In Bob's
life, and I know that I have rlaen fifty
points aa a pal In hla estimation now that
he feels I am able to share them."
"Summers at the seashore . with angling
mammas and anxious maiden ladies may
be fashionable, but a month In the wild
with a husband, a short skirt and a fish
ing roJ la at least worth trying."
and all the trite disguises with 'which
Women try to hide their ignorance Of what
is their business or their willing silence
in regard to the means by which they are
supplied with money. It's adding coward
Ice td the crime of being the woman In
the case! It's time we all saw these things
as they are, not as we choose to regard
them! It's time to think when the high
cost of living mounts above dollars and
Is being paid In men's honor!
John W. Gates "Sold Out" by a Waiter J
"The first time In my life that I was sold
out happened a few days ago iri.'thej Ponce
de Leon at Palm beach," said John ,W.
Gates, aa he left for Texas, . "and to make'
It worae, by a negro," he continued ;wllb. a
hearty laugh. The ' man of "betcher-mil-Hen"
fame likes to tell a story, even yiough
It Is on himself. .lo :.-: '-.
When Mr. Gates went to'lhe eie
Leon he told the manager ard bradj'w'ajtnr'
there was to be no fooling ith' trwable
nor his waiter as long aa he, rejiiiTiit, 'at.
the hotel, and both agreed he should have
"John," a negro waiter, who has been"with
the hotel .since lta opening. . Everything
went smoothly for a week, when' another
waiter threw hla card oh the table and
said: .... ..
"MajBsah Gates, I'se your waiter from
now on." '',
Mr. Gates sent for the manager and head
waiter and both said they could not. find
out what the trouble waa, but both agreed
that "John" refused to serve Mr. '.Gates
and his party any longer. They did not
know the reason and Mr. Gales said he
would find oat for himself. He found
'"John" seated In another dining room, his
head bowed down.
. "What's the matter John?" asked Mr.
Gates. W'hy won't you serve at my table?
You've been getting, let's see, you've been
getting about sixty or seventy 'bucks' a
week In tips. Jsn't that enough for you,
and all those tlesT Aren't you satisfied?"
V'Tessah,! yensah, that done been splendid
plclcin'a, Vlaasah ' Gates, but I'm done.
Borry, boss, but I'm done."'
"But why?"
"Well, to tell the truth, I done' gone and
lost all the plckin's In a crap game with
Charlie'; all the ties and clothes, Massah
Gates, and then I .puts you and the table
up for stakes and lost you and the table,
too. That's all; Massah Gates. Forgive
me, won't you?"
Mr. Gates roared with laughter, and a
pioment later was seen walking toward his
own party, with John trailing behind.
" 'Charlie,' here, go buy yourself an air
ship or anything you like. This will settle
everything, and, John, you take this order."
JftiE WEEKLY BUMBLE BEE
VOL, I.
OMAHA, MAY 19. 1911.
NO. 237.
THE BUMBLE BEE).
A. BTINGKR...
.Editor
Communications ' welcomed,
snd neither signature nor re
turn postage required. Ad
dress the Editor.
Nn Mails la Hie Seel.
Am4.,1' n'ht "J" ,ur f",d w,tB mulo.
But the cares that Infest the day"
Never do any atunta like the Arabs
When the band begins to play;
The first floor front has a comet;
There's a phonograph Just down tha hall:
The second floor back haa a trombone
And a baby that kno ,n
The Janitor a boy has a fiddle. '
The people next door have a cat
There's a dog and a parrot below ua
jna a rooeter that a chained to the mat: '
1 here's a ball room tenor to starboard,
A messo-soprano to port,
A blackbird down In the basement.
na a one-eyed goat In the court;
We have gorgeous selections of ragtlmel .
fconataa. fandangos, and all.
Ami when of all these we get weary. -
nay orai oui ma ufJM Marcn In baul;
We get tt till three In the morning.
And, Ixtrd. how I Drav for tha rt
V hen every musician In Harlem .
m eueauy eteai lag ava.
NO BAD MONET TAKEN.
NO APS AT ANT PRICE. "'
Mnalc.
Te editor steeped his soul In
blissful harmonies at the big
concerts during the week, but
he'll be blamed If he knew he
waa worshipping Terpsichore
until he saw the fact stated
In a local con temp.
However, comma, the un
qualified success of the whole
affair makes apparent the ad.
vance of Omaha In the finer
ways of living. In giving lib
eral . patronage to such af
faire our perusers compliment
themaelvea. for they thereby
assume to have the apprecia
tion that cornea only with
broad culture and refinement.
It la a good thing to know
that the growth of the com
munity has not all been along
material line, but as the
commercial and Industrial In
terests of the city have ex
panded, so have the esthetic
and ethical.
We congratulate Mr. Kelly
and those who have worked
with hint. In their achieve
ment they have done more for
the city as a whole than for
themselves.
Suggestion.
If the several boarda that
make up the Omaha city gov
ernment have any . more
money available to buy auto
mobiles. It Is humbly sug
gested by Ye Editor that It
might with propriety be
loaned te the police board,
which same might una It to
pay for aome new coppers.
Ponalntloa.
It will be Just ss well to re
member thst tor the next few
years the census of tha Uni
ted States for ltio will be
taken aa the accurate figures
on population. A aort of fi
nality attaches to Uncle Bam'a
count that la Impressive if
not pleasing.
Spec.
The morning receptions at
Judge Crawford a court are
proving the contention of en
gineers that speed Is a costly
thing. Yet soma of our auto,
mobile arivera de not seera
to be able to get along nviih
out It.
Parade.
When the Rourke family re
turns from lta road trip It
will be able to give another
perade nearly as long aa the
ftrat, and have ne one la line
' but anetnbere of the team.
JPEDRO QUITS THE GAME
Mexican War Reaches a
Stae Where He Caa
No Longer Stnnd It.
(From a Btaff Correspondent.)
Eb PASO, Tex.. May 18.
(Special.) The map says this
Is In God's country, but the
language they speak here and
the way they carry on at
times makes me doubt It.
I couldn't stand for tho
doby war any longer. The
further In 1 got the more
phony It looked to me, and so
I simply hiked for the fur
bank of the great and glorious
River Grand of the north.
And here 1 am. Just In time to
note the great change that
has come over the customs
and the ethics of the country.
I can remember the time
when, if a gent in these parts
told of his intention toward
another, he had to make good
on IL For example, if J1
Eyed Pete said ha thought of
shooting some holes Into Dog
Faced Dirk it waa Incumbent
upon him to do so, under the
penalty of having holes shot
Into himself by the party of
the aecond part. 'If they hap
pened to be In - an Inn or
tavern when the talk waa
made, and other persons felt
called upon to Interfere, they
simply bode their time until
outside the tavern or Inn,
as the case might be, and the
subsequent proceedings we're
such aa furnished occupation
for the undertaker.
Not ao now. Ijiwit evening
at one of the local hosteleries
a colonel of the Maderista
forces overhauled a general of
the same , army, and in the
preaenee of a multitude of
persons reviled "him in such
terms ss the Mexican lan
guage excels the ohturgatoiv
possibilities of all others. And
when It waa all over the col
onel was sent back to Mexiro
for fear he might do aome one
an Injury, while the general
waa wrapped in rntton wool
and given a restorative.
It's enough to make Mysteri
ous Dave Rudahaugh. .less
F.vana, Hoodoo Urown. Pat
Garrett, BHly f-eroy or any of
the earhest settlers of these
parta turn over In the graves
they have so long been fill
ing. I'm done. Anybody can
have my seat now. Viva la
Pas! PEDRO.
Larky,
At that our double-headed
con temp, was lucky to find a
feather. We know of cases
where the officer wHh tha ex
ecution couldn t even find a
feather.
Con race.
At least, that South Omaha
city councilman can not be
accused of lacking courage.
He Is also qualified as to
faculty for expression.
EIGHT HERE AT HOME
Matters In Which Peroaera
Oasbt . to lie In
terested. That was an awful blow the
city council lealt the pooi
rooms. Such a swipe with a
feather duster was never felt
before.
Jack Rine and Bid Smith
appreciate the compliment
paid them at any rate. Having
been held up in a fashionable
neighborhood, the foot pails
complained . at not finding
more of value on the persona
of the eminent attorneys, and
inquired In . tones polite but
of Impatience what the vic
tims were doing In that part
of town.
It remained for the Omaha
school board to. finally outdo
Barney hantten's motion in
the council with reference to
the old Jail. The school board
la paying the contractor to
tear down the old high school
and has agreed to buy back
from hiin auch material as la
serviceable. . ... . .
When you go to the Bran
dels .Sunday night don't worry
because you can't understand
French. Jiist look , wise and
maybe your neighbor will envy
our lingulaUn .Accomplishments.
Our pet little weather man
has expressed himself as firm
In the belief that the back
bone of winter lp bent, If not
broken..
Perhapa those suffragettes
really knew what they wanted
to be told. Sometimes It Is
embarrassing to mere man to
face woman under those con
ditions. It Isn't a hit too early to
start preparation for tha safe
and sane Fourth. "At the rata
the city council has handled
other Important matters. It Is
already too late.
That welcome arch la work
ing steadily" these days. It Is
not the prettiest thing that
ever happened, but It tells the
story. - .
Pala. -
The present gyrations of the
city authorities in their ef
forts to dodge responsibility
for the garbage situation are
calcuiateo to give the average
householder a severe and
definitely located pain.
Rnainr.
Ye editor gets a report from
the late Holy City to the ef
fect that Johnny Miller ia go
ing to dispose of his tavern
to the Omaha makers of a
much advertised ' beverage
Well, welir -
OUR POET'S CORNER.
Darn.
I'm not well versed in poetry.
So don't be critical with me.
But I've watched the Bum
ble Bee
With Interested eyes to see
Who winner of the tilt would
be,
'Twlxt Q. R. O., and F. B. T.
umpire of the
I'm ndt tha
game.
But let me tell you Just the
same.
It was not worthy of the
name
Of contest. For it soon be
came Exchange of compliments. Oh.
shame!
These poets should seek higher
fame.
The work they did not so llf!
And so I hope some time they
will
"Come back." We'll give them
welcome still.
They helped a lot the time to
kill;
I II offer each a dollar bill
To take a shot at me.
JON QUfL.
Nerve,
Yes F. B. T.. May time Is
here,
The streets and lawns look
pretty,
And the dandelion la doing his
beat
To beautify our city.
And In the vacant lots I see
Again, kind natures plans,
For her sturdy weeds are do
Ing their best
To cover up the cans.
The cat-bird trills his matin
song '
Into my drowsy ear.
But there Is a song I've missed
of late.
And somehow long to hear;
Tho' other songs trill loud and
sweet.
With wrath my pulse is
throbbin'; .
Oh F. U. T., the nerve of thee
To dare to 'swipe' my robin!
CURIO.
Where!
Oh. Stinger, dear, I'd like to
know.
Where did that pair of
poets go?
Your readers, sure, wll feel
ths lack
Oh. say. do poets e ar "come
back"?
W. HOPPER.
Money t
We'll surely miss the poets
in the Bumble Bee;
If cash they want, you know
It a
Up to you and me
PETER.
snrprlse.
Thla time It so happens that
Karbach ia right, lta too bad
that he marred hla otherwise
perfect score-
Name and Addrens. School. Yr.
Edith M. Anderson. 8638 Seward St High ...lgo
Daniel W. Baldwin, 2512 Leavenworth St ...Kellom ......; ..1894
Elsie Bahrman, 1703 Van (.'amp Ave Vinton ltul
Thelma Burke, 2706 Maple St.... '..iHoward Kennedy.. 1905
Margaret L. Boetel, Thirty-fourth and Fort Stg Miller Park 1904
Joe Blurnentbal. 1901 South Tenth St Lincoln .190S '
Flora Buck, 2009 Sherman Ave ..High 1894
Olive Chrlstensen, Sixty-fourth and Dodge Sta High ..1894
Helen M. Clifton, 2110 North Twenty-sixth St Long ..1904
Lester, L. R. Duncan. 2716 North Twenty-fifth St.... Howard Kennedy.-. 1909
Adron Davidson, 1?23 North Twenty-third St Long
Allen Erlckson, 3935 North Twenty-first St.. Lothrop ....
Marshall E. Field, 2808 Cass St Webster ....
William N. Frank, 2 665 Poppleton Ave -...Park-
Dorothy Gordon, 4034 Seward St .Walnut Hill.
Enianel Green, 1523 Park Ave Pnrk ......
Maynard Greenberg, 2217 California St. Cass .......
Dorothy Hubermann, 2213 Miami St Lake .....1901
,1900
,1901
,1905
..1S5
, ; IJrOII J
, .1896
, . . 1R99
, . .1903
.".".1899
.1902
John Hogya, Tenth and Paul Sts Cass
Wlnnefred Hammond, 1932 South Fourteenth St. . . . Comenlus
Frank Hulac. 415 Dorcas St Train
Marie Hoham, 2018 Charles St Saratoga .; 1903
beavey Hudson, 1807 North Forty-sixth Ave Walnut Hill.
Marlon E. Jones, 3602 Hamilton St .....Franklin ...
John Kotera. 1433 South Seventeenth St ....Comenlus
Frances Keirn, 2606 Templeton St High ......
Annie Kohrda, 1707 South Ninth St ..Lincoln ....
Agnes Kuzela, 2528 South Twelfth St Bancroft ...
Frank Kennebek, 212 4 Locust St Sacred Heart
Mary Louise Latenser, 3217 Poppleton Ave High
Cassle Miller, 816 North Thirty-second St Webster .. . '.
Frank Mlhellch, 2743 South Twelfth St . . . . . .'. .Bancroft . Y.
vioiet Micneisen. 2217 North Twenty-seventh Ave... Long
. .189.7.
..1899
..1905 -.
.1897
.M905."
. .1904
. .1900
. .1894
. .1898
.'.1904
. a A a
...... 1B9D
Harold Nelson, 5006 North Twenty-third St Saratoga 189T
aeuian ivieison, 530Z Vinton St Windsor ...v.... 1904
Miriam Roe, 1516 North Twenty-seventh St ,High ......... .1887
Ethel Rathkey, 2409 Blondo St High !.!!..!.' .l,1895r
Mike Rebarlch, 317 Poppleton Ave Train V. .!!!!.' , 1905
Christian Straub, 517 Pierce St Pacific .7.7. mv
Catherine C. Schupp, 2424 South Twelfth St. St. Patrick " " 7 1904 '
Gertrude A. Stuft, 4219 Patrick Ave . Clifton H11L,' ! .V1899
Benjamin Scavlo, 1117 South Fourteenth St ....Pacific . 1902 '
Walter J. Sass, Fifty-sixth fit. and Poppleton Ave Beals . . . . 'lBfji
Mamie Sip, 1721 South Eleventh St. .I.h,.iV ' ,an
1 Dl -U ... . ------ ........... iy-
i uicu-ouami)ieii( oivv f acinc Ht . . . , . , Beals
Eula A. Thornbury, 2220 Amea Ave. ......... "7 Sarafota
Rend Tnn1 1 B!J 1 rw-..i a. ..oar&ioga
, u.u.,iv d.. . . . ,(. Vinton 1903'
Anton Zelinka, 1456 South Fourteenth St Comeniu97.7.7.7.X904
.....1896;.
t .. . : :,
y . As it Was Written 77-
1 1 .. , , 1 1 I, TTTB
The girl of today doea not take her hand
writing seriously. If she considers It at all
It Is to work out some eccentricity which
will distinguish Itifrgm all other handwrit
ings and make It particularly difficult to
decipher. As a warning to those, fair ones
who may have occasion to send their
heart's message via pen and paper to the
one man in the world the following little
Incident from real life la offered; ,
Clarice Ethel Montclalr eat at her bird's-
eye maple desk writing an answer to Edwin
Maurice Brown's proposal of marriage.
The messenger that bore the precious mis
sive to Edwin Maurice delayed returning
so long that Clarice Ethel Wrung her hands
in despair after the fashion of accepted
heroines. When he did come he handed har ;
three sealed replies! .
Piest of men. I do not know how I have
come to win this wonderful love vou hav" '
given me, but I ahall spend the rest of my"
Ife trying to be worthy. I will call wrtMn
the hour to preas you to my heart. Fondly "
til in O, vn IV I
My Dear Miss Montrtalr: Tonight 1 leave !"
for a trip Into the Interior of Africa. If at -any
time you change your mind a word
from you will bring me from the" end of
the world. My mall will be forwarded
fiom my club. Truly youre,
EDWIN MAURICE BROWN
Dear Clarice: After a wretched two
hours trying to dlsclpher your note I have
decided on the only safe plan for an as-,
swer. Will jou kindly keep the reply that
suits and return the other to me? Tours
In keenest suspense, . EDWIN,
When to Marry
j
At what age do women definitely decide
they are too old for marriage? The an
swer might be "never," which does not
Imply that all spinsters are seeking hus
bands actively, and are profoundly grieved
because they do not find them; only that
each woman cherishes a secret belief that
somewhere In the cosmos la her destined
mate, with whom she would Inevitably fall
In love, as he with her, If they met. The
truth Is nobody manages to feel as old as
they may look. Not one of us. waking
up entirely oblivious of pur past life, would
know how many years we had spent In
the world without the evidence of a mir
ror or of the treatment of others. The
youth of the spirit la perpetual, and we 1
bide our Inward emotions because they do
not agree with our outward appearance."'.
Also we discover aa we grow, older how .
much longer we remain young than we '
thought we would. Thus a woman said:
"At. IS I thought I must be married be
fore Jl on never; at 21 I realised that I .
still might have a chance, at least until I
was 26; at 25 and 30 I found flirtation as '
attractive as ever, even more ao, arid '
though I faithfully recorded an age which
1 shall not repeat for the census. I am
certain my day la not over yet."
Nubs of Knowledge
J
The lyre was Invented ItVH B. C.
Paper waa manufactured In China In tho
year 106 B. C,
Use of hot Water for heating purposes
dates from 17U.
Elrst I'nlted States cent with the sym
bolical head and the Inscription of "Lib
erty" waa coined In 17M.
A woman the queen of Charles of Anjou
waa the first person to ride In a coach.
In 12 she entered Naples In that manner.
Sweden was the first European country
to make a complete enumeration of Inhab
itants, that census being taken In 1749.
Spain's first census was taken In 1798, while
Qreat Britain and France did not begin to
ascertain their population until The
first census of the entire I'nlted States was
taken In 17M.
Woe betide' those who early In tha morn
Ing met an Ill-favored man or woman, s
rough footed hen, a bhag haired dog or a "
Diacg cat. .
Among the ancltnta If a person sneeied
after dinner a dlun waa brought back and '.
tasted to avoid misfortune.
Mariners In remote periods considered IS
ominous the arpearance of Heitnlng play
ing amldPt the rigging of their Ships at sea.
Hawallans believed, that their Island wAs
created by the, bursting of. .an egg, which'
had been laid on the surface of the ocean
by a bird of great size. '
Fishermen along some parts of the Eng
lish coast believe that fehn any person is
drowned a voice la heard from the water,
ominous of a squall.
A horseshoe nailed to the mast was la
times past thought by ssilora not enly te
he a security against the evil one but a
specific axainHt man dangers.
Although the scientists have not found
the mosquito that gives spring fver,- the
ordinary loafer has been more successful.
The man u ho looks like g loud noise
may be nothing but a big bluff.
TIME' UP
. , vvain; -
OePAGAeTi'