11
HULL' Limmi.
f The (ee-g jme yaf a z, i rp pa
r
The BEES Junior Birthday Book
Who's Who in the Home
im BEE: OMAHA. WEDNESDAY. MAY 17. 1911.
Mrs. 2
This is (he
.In l small town." and
ther will be a great
r,r visit which, you ti
(of Mum, but which 1
rr,
") conrne," nbwrttd the Hnpefui Houwe
wlf, "Aunt Miranda ha lived all her life
In a small town." and if we are not careful
great many things during
nd I taka aa a matter
will aeem very shock
Ing to her."
"Well!'' a-ngwered the Confirmed Com
muter 'rather belligerently. "I dnn't see
why ' she ''should revolutionise our entire
lives Just because your maiden aunt haa
Invited herself to upend two week with
us" . .
"Ybu dontr the Hopeful Housewife
asked. ."Then, I'll tell you. Of course, I
might say It's because she's a sweet old
lady, for she la but she's alio the poeses
or of about VA000. and o far I'm her
favorlta niece. ..She ha approved of every
thing I've ever done, except my getting
married and that's became ahe'a never
aeen you."
Tha Confirmed Commuter made an exag-
igerated bow of acknowledgement.
"It) view of my manifold perfection!,
hat da' yen mean by 'thing that will
hock her?' There'! nothing goea on In
this sedate community that would cause a
acandal In heaven!"
"Oh, Z wieaa. little bits of things that no
on In or abeut a big city ever thinks of!"
tils wife answered. "Out where she lives
the beet men In the community don't drink
or smoke. . I'm sure It -would grieve her to
coma here' and' sea cigars and cigarettes
all over the house and to find that some
times we have cocktails before dinner."
' "In other words, you suggest that during
a two-weeks'' Infliction ' from an elderly
spinster I make a blooming hypocrite aa
wall aa a martyr of myself by refraining
from dgarettee ' and the deadly bowl! I
decline, respectfully, but firmly and finally,
jrour Insulting proposition!"
Thr Hopeful Housewife laughed and for
the time being said no more.
But no one with a working knowledge of
that still unwritten manual of matrimony,
Who's Who In the Home," will he sur
prised to learn that when Aunt : Miranda
arrived thera wis not a cigar or a cigarette
on the premises! N
Aa for cocktails! there were not even the
makings of the harmless clam or oyster
variety!
The Hopeful Housewife and her opulent
relative had not met for more than fifteen
years. It was not therefore .particularly
surprising that the Confirmed .Commuter
ehould have found hit new auht-ln-law less
narrow In both mind and body than his
wife's forecast had led him to believe.
From the start they had a delightful time
together discoursing on the Cpnflrmed
Commuter's favorite subject the rare
merits and accomplishments of the Hopeful
Housewife.
Never, he thought, . had he met a more
comfortable old lady. 8urely hie wife must
be mistaken that Jolly old soul would not
object to his worst pipe!
By the time they had reached their desti
nation Aunt Mlranoda was-calling her-dear
nephew-ln-la by hla first name.
And when they strolled arm In arm' up
the path hung with lilacs and bridal
wreath the- Hopeful Houeewlfe gasped with
astonishment. Really, she thought. If Aunt
Miranda had been younger, and prettier
she might have aroused her jealousy.
"Dear Aunt Mlrsnda!" she exclaimed,
"It's wonderful to see you again! But you
must be dreadfully tired after your long
Journey! We have dinner In half an hour,
but can't I get you something In the mean
time?"
Aunt Miranda smiled expansively,' de
lighted. "Yes." she said, "I sm kind of tuckered
out. Hsve you any ryet I never cared for
bourbon." .
(Copyright, 1911. by the N. T. Herald Co)
American Cities Grow Fast
j
No -country, on earth exhibits such a
I rapid, growth tf cities as Is revealed for our
own by the' census of 1910. Nearly half i5
per cent.) of the population of continental
Lilted States Is now urban, that Is, living
fn communities of 4.50 or over. Our cities
,.f ift.OOO or over have grown In the decade
nrarlv 15 tx?r cent more rapidly than the
nest of the country. .They now contain
nearly ene-tturd or our population, ana in
he north' more than 0 per cent. Thus the
city with lr complexities ha become the
moat acute, problem in a country whose
largest community In 1790, Philadelphia,
numbered .but little over" ,000. ,:
The arrival , and , multiplication " of the
foreign born are quite enough to account
for the remarkable growth of New York
In the last drad9-M.7.,per cent-greater
than that of any city In Ita class save
Cleveland. But4 What ot bur ether cities?
The. t'nlted Spates, now haa 475. communi
ties f 2.S09 -Inhabitants or more. Since the
lat 'census Newark', '.Los Angeles, Minneap
olis ' and Jersey City have reached the
JM.noo msi'k, ' risking a total of nineteen
cities over a quarter of a million. Fourteen
title, within the decade, have passed the
100,000 mark, Snaking. present total of
fty In this class, with an aggregate popu
lation of ve .26,000.000. In the same period
seventy cities have advanced above the
25,00a mark, making total of 178. This
group shows an aggregate rate of Increase
of l.l per cent.- and ita growth has been
more than a third faster than that of the
cltlea tn the two higher groupa. Of our
communities numbering . between X,0O and
t&,000 there are 228, and one-third of them
how an Increase of 50 per cent In the last
ten years. In the north there are 164 of
them; In the south forty-three; In the west
twenty-one. But the most startling rate of
Increase Is flwn by two cities In Okla
noma, a sparcely nettled state. Oklahoma
City Is more than five and ohe-thlrd time
as populous aa In 1900, and Muskogee1 nearly
five times. Meanwhile the population of
the state Itself haa but little mora than
doubled. Next to these, the most rapidly
growing city la Birmingham, Ala. Robert
Sloss, In Harper's Weekly.
Qnestloai for All Fathers.
John Drew, the famous comedian, tella
about a little girl, who Is now grown up.
"This little girl once asked her father to
buy her a pony. But her father, an actor,
was hard up at the time, and, despite her
earnest pleading, be had to Tefuse..
" 'But why?" she persisted, . 'Why can't
you buy me a pony, father?
" 'Because, I can't afford it,' he replied.
"'Then, father,' said: the little girl, re
proachfully, 'why don't you act better and
earn mora money?' "Philadelphia Ledger.
Gloomy ladlcsUloaa. ' '
"John." said Mra. Blnks, uneasily, the
other night, "I am very much afraid that
my bank is In a bad way." ,
"Oh, nonaensel my dear ' Maria non
sense!" said Blnks. "Why, it's one of the
strongest financial institutions In tha coun
try. What ever put that notion 'into your
dear old head?"
"Well, Ifa very funny," said Mrs. Blnks,
still unconvinced. "They're Just returned
a check of mine for 115 marked no funds."
Harper's.
The Singing Cure
1 A very agreeabJe cufe and preventive for
consumption !. that recommended ' by
Mrhe. Jeanne Jomelll, formerly of the Met
ropolitan and Manhattan opera houses. Her
remedy la singing., : . - '
"If 1 you art consumptive," aha says,
"sing; If you think you are drifting Into
consumption, ' sing. I do not advance the
ridiculous claim that singing alone will
save you from, consumption or cure you;
besides singing you must have plenty of
fresh air and good food. And, speaking of
fresh air, I must, say that not one person
tn a hundred knows how to Inhale It.
Ueople aeldom breathe deeply enough; they
sldom ventilate properly their lung ca vi
es. Which resemble - stuffy, unsanitary
partmenta. where all germs thrive undls
urbed.' Aoqulre the habit of taking the
big, deep breath which la a primary re
quisite of any kind of singing, bad or
good, and tha physical Joy derived from It
will never allow you to relapse into laxy
breathing." Tha breathing exercises recom
mended by certain physicians, and which
are so monotone; In themselves, become
much more pleasant when some artistic
pleasure la attached to them.
"Furthermore; the mere effect of singing
compels the singer to stand straight and
to throw the chest out. a good corrective
for the bad physical habits of weak
chested people. Finally, the exhilaration
of singing la -not a negligible element as
a mental adjucant to the cure. if you
doubt my statements go to the opera, turn
your glasses, upon every singer, Dan or
woman, and see what a wonderful ch
development they have attained.. Person'
ally, I have never heard of the singer be
coming consumptive."
Picket Her Stamp. .
A fashionable dressed young woman en
tered the poatofflce In a large western city,
hesitated a moment, and stepped up to the
stamp window. The atamp dark looked up
expectantly, and she asked, ''Do you sail
stamps here?" ,
The clerk politely answered, "Tea."
"i woum iixe to see some, please," was
the unusual request.
The clerk dasedly handed out a large
sheet ot the 1-cent variety, which the
young woman carefullr.aamlned. Pointing
to one near the center, aha aald, "I will
take this one, please." Llpplntott'a.
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err
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Loretta's Looking Glass-Held 'ITpthe "Deteotive" Wife
Cj m- 'i t
Day We
Celebrate
m
May 17, 1911.
' h "'
KT,niSR rOWELU
im Maple Street.
Name and Address. School. Vevip.
Oortrude Alkin, 3 22 North Forty-first St High 1891
Andrew Berney, 3826 North Seventeenth St Lothrop 18SI
George A. Becker, 2102 Spencer St Sacred Heart 1904
Evangeline korcherdtng, 2868 Ohio St Howard Kennedy. . 1891
Joe llaratta, 1312 South Twenty-fourth St St. Phllornena 1891
Jay Burna, 2017 Blnney St Lothrop. 1891
Helen Cvetas. 617 William St Train 1901
Paul Ira Craig, 407 Foppleton Ave Train 1891
Grace Dukes, 1045 South Twentieth St Mason 1897
Michael Dino. 1213 Pierce St Pacific 1904
Leo N. Dablr. 1211 William St. Lincoln 1901
Thelma Erlckson, 2201 South Central Boulevard. .. .Vinton 1905
Mary George, 1316 South Twelfth St ' .... Pacific 1905
Margaret Gtvena, 4921 North Seventeenth St Sherman ...1901
Herbert Goldsten, 716 North Twenty-second St High 1895
Virginia F. Greene, 1028 Georgia Ave Park 1899
Albert Gaginl. 1217 South Fifth St. . . . St. Phllornena 1905
George Graham, 324 North Twenty-third St ......... Central 1901
Irene M. Hamilton, Bernard, Twenty-ninth and Leav.Park 1898
Leottle Horn, 621 North Central Boulevard Webster 189T
Cordelia Johnson, 217 South Twenty-eighth Ave. . . . Farnam , 1897
Emma Kauth, 2023 Bancroft St St. Joseph 189T
Dorothy Kiplinger, 201 South Thirty-second Ave .... Farnam 1897
Inez Klunier, 1820 Clark St.... Kellom 1898
Roland Kublcek. 1917 South Fourteenth St Lincoln 1900
Irwlng Kelly, 716 North Thirty-second St..
Victor Klotx, 1908 South Twelfth St.
Walter Lund, 1709 Hickory St
Donald L. Loorman, 1712 South Thirty-fourth St
Edward A. Matthews, 2864, Ohio St
Clark F. Morris, 2424 Emmet St.
William Marsh, Jr., 4167 Davenport St....
Ruth McMillan, 2324 South Fifteenth St..
Isldor Osherone, 1811 Lake St..
. . .Webster 1902
...Lincoln ........ .1908
. .'.Comenus 1901
...Windsor 1901
...Howard Kennedy. . 1904
. . .Lothrop 1901
...Saunders 1905
St. Patrick 1901
Lake 1901
John O'Neill, 1902 South Twelfth 8t Lincoln, , .1895
Morse C. Palmer, 411 South Fortieth St
Myron Plnkerton, 2664 Meredith Are
Elolse Powell, 1818 Maple St....
Harry I Patchen, 216 North Nineteenth St
Walter A. Peterson; 1122 North Twenty-ninth St. .
Mary KuDack, 1114 North Seventeenth St.., Cass ..
uiaayg rtarekine. loos south Twenty-second St Mason.
.Columbian 1900
.Saratoga 1900
.Lake 1905
High 1514
.Webster 1902
...........1904
1902
John Riley, 717 Pierce 8t
John Rhedln, 1616 Canton 8t
Harold V. Story, 3866 W. Leavenworth St.
Vincent Sgarlato, 1116 South Twelfth St.
Hazel 8now, 2804 South Thirty-second Ave Windsor
Helen F. Verrlll. No. 19 The Strehlow Lake
eianey wirg, iuuo bouui Forty-second 8t...i Columbian .......1897
Gladys Westbrook, 2631 Maple St High . 18 94
juuu iiiuimr, 112 nicaory si. Train 1909
Lorraine Warner, 3044 South Eighteenth St ..Vinton inns
Lucy Weir. 3412 Dodge St Farnam ittni
Pacific -w. . . .1900
.Edward Roeewater.1898
.Columbian 1904
Paclfte 1900
........ 1896
1896
"Did you see that sporting goods display
on Blank street?" you ask with an ela
borate air of Indifference.
Tour husband,' absorbed In his dinner or
hla thoughts, says he did not. Tour carefully-
feigned Indifference grows a shade
mora evident, a trifle too evident. . It Indi
cates aa ulterior motive.
"Why, It waa so conspicuous, and you
are Interested In such things. You must
have noticed It." you urge.
SOME WARMTH.
"I haven't been on Blank street for a
month," your husband asserts, with some
warmth because of your persistency.
"Oh, tha deceiver," you cry In your
IT
Gentle Cynicisms
1
J
CertalBly. .
In the recent New Tork examinations for
chauffeurs' licenses was this ' perfectly
etvll question:
"If you were going along the road aad
met a skittish horse, what would you dor"
To which one candidate replied, "X weald
stop the car, then the engine and then. If
the horse waa atlll skittish, I Would take
the machine apart and hide It tn the grass
until he got safely by." Lipplneott's.
Revenge la sweet until It begins to fer
ment. The people who buy their popularity
can't afford to wait for bargain days.
A man who can let his lawn go unmowed
without getting Into trouble, with hla
science haa lots of faith la the ability of
his wife. .
A flower that alwaya blooms In the
spring, tra la. Is ths big red moving van.
The difference between a statesman and
a politician is that the statesman Is dead
Unfortunately the people who marry in
haste are not tba only onea whe repent at
Maura.
When a man aaya that misfortune drove
him to drink the chances are that drink
flret drove him to misfortune.
In the matter of binding too many books
spoil the cloth.
From the point ef view of society, a wall
flower la merely a bud who has gone to
aeed.-Phlladelphla Ledger.
heart; but you keep your Hps silent.
Tou saw him yourself In that very street,
and In front of that very store. He was
trying to hide something.
'I thought you often came that way
from the office," you continue, watching
like a hawk to see him tangle' himself In
his own deception.
"Well I yes, I do," he concedes, won
dering what possesses you to want to talk
about such an Insignificant matter.
"What made you say you had not been
there for a month, then?" you cry, wkh
suspicion sroused.
"Why-I-I forgot."
"Forgot," you exclaimed, convinced that
he Is hiding something. "How can you
forget what you do every day?"
"Maybe that's the r eason. I get o usd
to doing It that I do It without knowing."
he saya, ready to be agreeable If you Insist
on talking on an uninteresting theme. .
"Tou .know you were In Blank street
today at o'clock. I saw you," you ex
claim with lust that animation which Is
the sign of your Inward conviction that
something is being purposely kept from
you.
And It flashes over him that . you are
employing detective methods to trip him
in an evasion or a lie. It makes him
angry, whether he la deceiving you or not.
It Inclines him to "do it again in" Just to
convince himself that he la a free agent.
If he had forgotten, or If he had paid alight
attention to what you had ssld and an
swered at random, he Is suddenly con
fronted with the fact that you do not trust
him and are trying to make him convict
himself.
No wife can be a detective, too. If you
are a good detective you are apt to be an
unhappy wife. If you are a good wife
you have too much respect for yourself.
too much respect for the matrimonial firm
in which you are a partner,, to even imply
a lack of faith In ita strength.
A DREADFUL NAME.
But you- and the other rat smellers
Isn't that a dreadful name? I am so sorry
I cannot think of one worse who go nos
ing Into your husband's affairs, are guilty
of a crime that Is quite as bad aa any
he Is apt to have committed. Tour defec
tive methods will disgust him Into doing
what might never have occurred to him
If you had Inspired his respect and given
the culture of your faith In him to make
his best self grow stronger every day that
he lives with you.
Odd Superstitions
If the good wife's keys persist in get
ting rusty some friend is laying up money
for her.
When
ground
family.
a dog scratches
there will be a
a hole
funeral
the
the
Trouble on the Border
)
V , 1 I 1 1
M AJ
1 Vysn
'.((
ri 1
W m 9K. A
"
It's bad enough to have quarrelsome
Without beinfc made an unwilling
o2
Yawning la to be avoided, for the devil
Is In the habit of leaping Into a gaping
mouth.
Among merchants in some European
countries the first money taken In the
day is spat upon for luck.
Quills of quicksilver were commonly
worn about the neck as a preventive
against plague in the olden time.
Spitting for luck's sake was of consider
able Importance among the ancients.
Orseks spat three times Into their bosoms
t the sight of a madman or one troubled
with epileptic fits In order to ward off
such maladies.
Tree and Berry Lore
What tree in Its old age aadly cries?
Elder.
And from what tall one comes low sighs?
Pine.
Which bears the mark of a smoldering
fire? Ash.
' And which to chastise takes your sire?
Birch. .
Which one do you carry about In your
hand? Palm.
And" which one, tall and slim, does stand?
Poplar. x
Which one bears fruit so golden and
round? Orange.
And which one hears the sea's deep
sound? Beech.
Come, tell now, which la a stale joke?
Chestnut.
And which from a small acorn awoke?
Oak.
To which would you liken a trim young
man? Spruce.
Which one yields fruit, round and rosy?
Apple.
And which would you like te put in a
posy? Tulip.
Which tree Is cloth and fuel In one?
Cottonwood.
And from which does sweet fluid run?
Maple.
Then you may try this: v
What berry Is red when It s green?
Blackberry.
What berry Is used for making woman's
dresses? Mulberry.
What berry is found in the grass? Dew
berry. What berry la found on a dunce?
Gooseberry.
What berry la Irritating. Raspberry.
What berry la used for bedding cattle?
Strawberry.
What berry is used for celebrating a
great festival? Holly berry.
What berry should be respected for its
age? Elderberry. '
What berry Is melancholy? Blueberry.
What berry is named for a month? June
berry. What berry Is used in sewing? Thimble
berry. What berry is named for a bird? Pigeon-
T-berry.-St- Louis Olobe-Democrat.
Defended Her Fr!ed.
Hostess I'm so sorry to hear that you
and Olady's have quarreled.
Her Dearest Friend res, darling, and It's
all about you. She said that you were
mean and untruthful; that you flirted out
rageously with Jack Rakea, but when she
said that you bad your clothes made by at
small local dressmaker, welll I really
couldn't stand that I Punch.
Afeaeat-Mladed.
The professor had Just sneezed for the
thirtieth time, and it naturally attracted
some attention.
."What's the matter with the professor?"
asked the visitor. "He appears to have a
bad cold."
"Oh no," said Madame laProfeesoresa.
"It 1 only his fearful absent-mindedness.
I left him In charge of the baby for a lew
mofftants this morning, and when he cried
he gave him the pepper pot to play wit
Instead of his rattle " Harper's.
Aa Ksrlealve License.
"I am very sorry, air," aald the inn
keeper, addressing the noisy visiter, "but
I shall have to ask you to leave, air."
"Me, air? Whaffor?" demanded the
noisy visitor.
"Tou are intoxicated, air." returned the
landlord.
"Weil, whaff I am?" retorted the nolsr
visitor. "You gotta sign up there en th'
wall sayln' licensed to be drunk en the
premises. Aln'tcher?"
"Yes, I have," said th inn keeper, "but
that's my license, not youra" Harper's.
These Things Will Happen
JVdmlratioa
OtaaTsTtai
LftdlgsatioQ,