THE BEE: OMAHA. TUESDAY, MAT 16, 1911. 11 lhe eft e eg ge 1' i , U i-' ? ! i ) -s-ft Serious History in Comic Vein 1 met a veteran of 'h Battle of Harlem yesterday' sal fihew-Me fimllh, the home made historian. . , " .' . ' " "You mean -his . great-grsndson. Bhow- .V I corrected No I don't I jneen the veteran himself la'i 8 lived in Harlem ten yesrs and he fight yie baftla ever? dajof hit nfe. no I reckon Wi entitled iofca failed a veteran, t ain't he?" Every time anybody refers td the Bsttle ' of Harlem everybody, thinks of that tablet I up there, on: tha side of a house. That I tablet stands fot -Something that was fln j iHhed . up .4 - hundred years sgo, but the I real Battle of Hulem ha been xsgln' ever j sinc e dally ' engagements- In the subway ? trenches between .five and seven every p. m. . ,- , .. , - . . - "You see,' the way thte-continuoue per formance battle started was the time the invadln' army of preoccupation looked 6ver 1 Into and Harlem and -said f "'Yonder lies the' Isnd of bargains and -' cosey flats. Ut ui no. to It' "And they went to l. With their light cavalry Jn the shape of high geared baby jssriagea ,4n tha van.heae fearless early f""Vlarlem settlerr-attscked tha height and . subdued the native jargtor.-wiio'ws.s forced to capitulate at the muxala'. of the milk t' bottle. That gave them a foothold, and 1 yrMb the; aid. of strong reinrorcements la the shape of phonographs, piano players, , ' parrots and robber ' plants, they soon held ' impregnable -positions la- front and ress apartments, team heat, hot and cold water supplied. . -,. , .T ' "The original Inhabitants of Harlem were practically ' exterminated, but are some times distantly referred to as goats. They can still ba found in soma parts of the village If you knew how-to. get them. "From wild;,, rocky, region. Inhabited only by nonntam- 'gaseHes -and Janitors. Harlem became. VthrVjnfr dtstriot. filled wfth patent adjustable .flats and go-cart gsh-sges. i But . the BUl4'of Harlem did Wot end tiee Oh,- noL ,TheHaxlemitea, conquered the Janitor,1 the milkman, the Iceman and ven the 'installment man, but'at last they truck- the Old Xiuand. .. "They .Tough 1 4 him- In the, subway, And.the foffght hrm on the 'L,' And they'll prob'ly keep bn'fightlh To the very gates , of Bronx Fark. "Nobody .has erected any. tablets to the dally fleroe onslaught and. the cyclorama habit hasn't toeen rvvtyed," but .there's a hat(t n fl ike ohrt b mjelf I -rne oid nance for aprne, painter chap to make famous .-wun s aecona eaujon Old Guards Last. Stand.' : - "At the .predent writlq you might call It a draw, with "considerable wounded 'on Vboih aides. Bo Tar' no aaa ones nave- Been yCund ;tii' Hartem' and from -the subway Lofetta's Looking My Dear Loretta-tWhat do you think of g Klrl 'who peitd; "he,r father's money rather Tcllebr on clothes, making s, food Ippeargncs than', nutriiea' "and" 'becomes ' regular mlserf'My slstef has a handsome kusband -god tmo ' lovely ' children. And the Is so busy economising that you would lever recognize her as tha girl Who spent father's money: so, well. She worries he. "I went out to-dinner wun ner.ana ker ' husbsnd. I' ! wpre. a' well-made and becoming white dress and slie wore mream! It fairly shrieked village dress naker, unineijlred by the 23-cent-a-yard loulard. Her .-.handsome - husband whis kered; -"What lit thunder's the matter Ull Nell's .cloth.es J I'm. ashamed pf her. Uaks her get something decent to wear." tvould you tell 'her? It 'wlU make a fuss, tnd I hate a family quarrel. But her hue land is too good loklng not to be notloed. e will not keep, on taking her out with Urn If she looks like a Joke., aha will loss tlm. I scarcely know what Is my duty. Have you aa ideat V. I-AN ANXIOUS BISTER. y hsTe'. several. : Tour sister is one of till kind '-who dignifies her false economy Kltfe tha .nama .of self-sacrifice. 8h wants tie babies to "have things. Incidentally, lie will lose the best thing she has her if theTe- is one sin from which' the aver- m.n rniildera himself free. It is the In of vanity, says a writer In ths St. Louis llobe-Democrgt. - -Vantty.' lis' firmly be (eves, la .. th preogratlVe of women. . .uv 1ar creature, he will ell his wife r sweetheart while he fondly has her cheek. The wife or sweetheart Is generally, too Was tb correct -hlm but there, never was I woman yet who did not wonder at the fjarvclous vsnlty of men. As a mtter of..fie.t'. there Is scarcely any Iffereoce b'f sen men. and children In this ipect. A. child with a new pair of shoes rill not rest content until everybody In the louse has . gon , Into raptures over both hoes an weaseri separately and together, Ind a min i methods of sttracting notice 0 his splendor are to women hardly less Imple. :- -. Women on the oontrsry. exe singularly re from vsnlty". Tou.lsugh and point to my lady's mli brs. and her habit of looking in them at very possible'. njomeit? My dear young tan,- you Jo 'jiot understand, A woman rill take- infinite pains to dress herself to lease somebody she loves although he Idom notices Itor to annoy somebody be hates.' If she pleseed the -loved one she 1 In tha seventh, hreq4 as' she certainly I If she annoys- he- oWer woman. But be never, advtkes herself -in the way thai l young man adtfilret hlk Invisible mua che. - - Men, too. re' free from the terrifying gnger whicb hgogs qver a woman from ke ags of 14 years to the age ef years r so the criticism of other women. How irrtfying this (neir, be men can seldom un tratand. t .-. . A man may wear nattered straw bst r ever and ever, n4 go about In shabby rousers on Sundays, and his friends will ot think It worth witllerso notice; whereas woman' tara not have a button aut of lace without H thlaie lq the district slicing It. . '. " Hence ths agony of rnlnd that a woman if (era it she thfnka her back hair la corn- down is- not at- air lut to vanity. And cs the mirrors which threughful shop- -epera provide so abundantly. . Even when fcm cam o pretty gtrla who, ighf. very aell be escuied fair-having tbelr da turned, there Is no approach to the umy of the";ady-luiUng youtiu, A fretty .:;: The Vanity of Man - ; ; TtMl flattie of Harlem. trenches you can hear svery evening that fine old battle cry. beginning: "The old Guard shies but. never ' surren ders. Though he loees his rap, bit coat Arid aus e"iers." (Copyright, 1911. by the N. T. Herald Co.) r A Trifle Sarcastic "e have' sortetjes for-the protection sf almost everything why not a society for the protection of criminals? , Better jallx are demanded. It Is very unpleasant fot .any self-respecting crim inal, especially when he- hag been brought up In refined surroundings, whteh Is not Infrequently the case, to have to eat coarse food and associate with vulgar people. Our methods of investigating criminals, with a view to ascertaining tbelr guilt, aro by no means perfect. Any one with money is likely to he brought Into a court at any-time, and rudely qustoned by an unfeeling Judge, It Is true that 4f a very large amount Is Involved, -one Is treated with a certain consideration ; but even this is not what It ought to be. i . . - As the esse stands at present, no great criminal Is really e.re. from annoyance. His picture may be published In tbe papers, editorials reflecting upon 'his character may bti printed at any nr.oment. and; t he may have to put up a large smount .of bail. This Is often Inconvenient, especially . when one's money Is tied up in Wad street This Is a free country. Every criminal ought to be protected from Injury. Thomas L. Mason In Llpplncott's. . . ' ' ' Frleadly Cwaasel. , Harrison S. Morris, the Philadelphia poet, i listened at (be rrannlln Jnn . one. evening to the rather offensive boasting of a rich young amateur actqr. "Oh, by the way,- Mr. Morris,", ths ama teur finally said, "the Browning society Is going to put on "The Blot on the Escutch eon" after Christmas, and they want, me to take part In It. Now you know , my style. You've seen me act In German town. What part do you think would suit me bestr. -.' . "The 'blot,' my "boy," said Mr. Morris, with his quick, nervous laugh. "Go. In, by ail means, for ths blot' "Philadelphia Ledger. ' Lille Girl Mother, Is Uncle Joha deaf? Mothers-No,' dear.- "Whyt- .. ' Little Girl Bvery ' tilmo, ,he' glvea ine I' oenta, e says ,rWhat do yoi sayf and I'm never saying a -word. Upplnoott'a - Glass-Held.Upto Anxioui3 Sister's Letter husband. Tou are right.: It will make a fuss to tell her thai ' she ts penny-wise and pound-foollsta.-. But a .sisterly family row .doesn't matter." ' Teu- twa do not rep resent, the essential 'family combination. Just a man and a woman are- thaL - , Do not let her give her husband tha first shove that sends hlm'otf from her. She will think she Is a martyr to. "man's, selfishness" if he does get tnteresSed 'In soms woman, who weara her clothes well. But she wilt be ths victim of her 6wn ab normal enjoyment of spending herself for her babies.. ' ." ...V- : . That's .not -exactly a vice It's a virtue overdone. And men hate overdone virtues as much as they disllks overdone steaks. She may weep and Wail, that .she denied herself pretty clothes and the ' diversion that would kiep her attractive and. Inter esting, all for the sake of the bhlldren. Tell ber that is a veritable "skin, . gams' with which women have been' cheating themselves out of their husband' love for so long that they ought -to be wise to it by pow! Tell ber she is aavtng ths pennies ef the coin of the realm and loalng the Treasures of the hert Maybe she comes and cleans out your old clothe s from your eloset with the as sertion she "can wear them around home." If she does. Just emphasise the ;fact that. girl takea her prettlness gs a gift from the fairies, to be (ended as ths girdner tends a beautiful plant. It la ber duty, a neces sity to her seif-respect to. look nice." . Contrast ber. with the average hgndsdm man. Here you have vanity so monumental that a woman can only gasp. , Peelea tha Boys. T"he palm for advertising hks generally been conceded to America, but a Berlin theater .manager can claim that he Is "facile prlncepa," and dispute America's right to be considered even "proximo ac credit" Recently the following, adver tisement appeared In all the newspapers fat the German capital Just at the same time when a new piece was - to be nroduoed:' "YOUNG LADT. ORPHAN, with tlO.OOO at her disposal and proprietress of one of the most Important retail businesses In Prussia., wlchee to meet a .young man csnable of managing her buslnees, with a view to matrimony. ' No special business training neceessry. nor need be be poaaesied of means. Write M. W. B , guardian. No agents." " ' ' ' ' ' On ths morning' of ths representation each of those who replied to the adver tisement received a beautifully ttth ogrsphed note In these terms:. "Sir: It Is a roost Important matter to know whether my niece will lease you. Thia evening shs will he with me t theater In Boa No.. - K. W. B -" The theater waa crowded with- young men, and, during the play tbe Jorg-nettee mere all turned at Bog No. i but It was empty, tha only vacant plaee Is the thea ter. Llpplncott's. ' Datle't AllbU. -' ', "ix-year-Old David bad bees told not to play in the oiled road: Oofning Into the house with suspiciously.. black hands, be was reprimanded by his mother. "You've'been playing In the, road." she said. t. , No. mother, X haven t. Test's pttcb from the tree. v Don't tea me a story, rar14. J kijew ifaiold from ths road." "Well. Ood know It's pltch.'isld David, "for He ! saw ma climb the -'.tree. "-Ujh pincotfa . Medical preeonpiions la. rraace must be wrtttea la the language of tnat eouftLry. etmsait. tftt. ti SAY ruPCEr YOUALU PONt PROMISED MB A MA LP iKTReST IN HtM, MtMEl? MrClL 2 jvS s wett i wANr f o the IGltzJ I cent to sis who rrs that 1 I ( fAzr. ohz rxtr n Jimi it. 99MWTMiM6..J 111 llrA CENT TO SIS WHO rrs THAT 9m w niSTs .trm m vr r7T f HOUTUATSAIL A j V I StTTltl. YOU OWN I MJJ ' Vteoh uenzi' Hg'cy although you . are still spending father's money and wearing the husband-winning decorations, you have a suspicion that husband-Keeping takes .something besides rag-bag ratios to make- it easy. And, If she does not take hints eagerly and with an appetite that promises for a pareful. digestion of them. Just tell her right out that her husband loves her yet, but he thinks she looks like a fright! Of course, she will get angry! But you havs to maks Some people angry to make them sensible.' And,' as a sort ' of linguistic sandpaper, add that she hsd better prac Ooe economy In something besides clothes. She would save her husband's love! -f- f THE rnwrn gsBsw y THIS, in lip- A " rr-' M(K) I 'A-JZM ft TMt i i nm tmmt rgaaua mn nm nouh eat. NO "TAINT (th that's so.l DcLltib I Ucnocurt WAMT tm 0 THE rr f JAWBONE (f I ALLUS WAS) c Blind People Famous Blind Tom, a gifted colored . pianist, charmed thousands of audiences In '2 this Country a quarter of a century Ago.- . When he was -sixteen years of agev-the Rev. Timothy Woodrldge, of 'Stockbrldge Mass., was stricken with blindness. The year of his birth was 1784. During his life he wrote his autobiography and delivered numerous masterly discourses. William Hacking Prescott, one of America's most eminent historians, was afflicted with imperfect vision -at. the. age of twenty. His "Ferdinand and Isabella," "Conquest of Mexico" and "Conquest- of rw - (5bOS FISHB0NES )THHT vvHTKii O0WA'1 " FlETTr tow. j SI TRUTH I M SOMEWHAXI ATHIKST. J r. IMflklt 'r; 'far' . 'i y , " th nnn..t SUA. FAIN HE'5 JES' TWELVE luaK I A Mi'at rt Vftll T9 nAKE Mfc TAKC tme iH'QOAhrcHS HWna4 "sj 7 v ivs OWN FROri tHl MiWlf to Tift Bry or in1 iflk TMT 'J MIS AiT IT? A - - T0 XT VOll CHO'LATI? Y00TQOK7AllS AlClT riMfi IAT1I C W THA 3 TWE FART TOtf VHJ Peru,' were written under most trying circumstances, owing to his partial blind ness. . Prosper Fugnanl, a blind Roman lawyer of distinction, born In 1661, added to his fame by writing a "Commentary on the Laws." John Metca'lf. 'whose sobriquet was "Blind Jack," of Knaresborough, '.England, having ' been rendered sightless when he Was six years of age, became-prominent as. a road surveyor and contractor. He was born In 1717 and died In 1802. Very Mack Attached. BWenson Why do you always hear a ship referred to as "she?" Benson I guess It Is because she some times becomes very much attached to a buoy. Philadelphia Times. a, nii., ukll III ' ".JU-UUULr- i i awjr r . 2 y kg". fTmr THE, DECS c5UNIOR mis is fhe Day r TUESDAY, Nsmfl nnd Addrews. Alvera E. Anderson. 2919 Oak ft HszM Avers, 8446 Pratt St , Margret M. Burke, 3826 Lincoln Boulevard , Ruth Breed, 331 ft Lfarette Are George Brown. 2 918 Ereklne St Robert Carlnon, 2002 Maple St RoMrla Clrco, 1271 William St Florence Fort. 620 North Forty-first Ave James B. Folkes, 3929 North Twenty-second Fred Forcht, Forty-fourth St. and Fort William Frost, 3224 Charlea St Ray D. Oreen, 3115 Lindsay Ave Horace Henderson, 1 0S South Twenty-eighth Arthur Howard, 2707. FarnaJti St Violet Harmon, Forty-seventh and Harney 8ta Alma Komrofskl, 2424 Oak St Gertrude Kuehnert, 390S North Nineteenth St Leroy McKenna, 2707 South Fifteenth Irene M. McQuIre, 210 North Twenty-third Helen Morte.nsen, 2W2 North Twenty-third Francis iMassara, 2 820 Harney St Myron Norton, 1914 South Eighth St Walter Nlelson, 3512 Charles St Mildred Olson, 2517 Ames Ave Henrietta A. Petersen. 2762 Lake St William F. Paul, 1926 South Twelfth St Irene Palmqulst, 618 North Forty-flrgt Ave Ben Stlfler, 2621 Capitol Ave Weir Y. Starbuck, 3809 North Twenty-ninth St Helen Sebec, 1713 Scuth Eleventh St Frank Seltser, 68 Boulevard Ave Ralph J. Waller, 4026 Binney St Margaret Walker, 2615 South Fifteenth St Thomas Earl Woodruff, 200G St. Mary'g Ave. ...... IT' Tabloid History of James Buchanan, our fifteenth presi dent, was born near Mercersburg. Pa.. April 23, 1791, snd died at Lancaster. In the eame state, on June 1, 18U8. He began to practice law In Lancaster In Eight years later he was chosen to represent his district 1n congress, where he remained for ten years. In 1S31 Presi dent Jackson made him minister to 8t. Petersburg, where, among other services to his country, he negotiated the first commercial treaty between the United States snd Russia, securing to American commerce the ports of the Black sea and the Baltic. Under President Polk he was secretary of state, while President Pierce made him minister to England. He became nmaMi.nl In his 65th year. Hln inauguration took piace on the 4th of March, 18G7. Three States all free were admitted m the nnin. during his sdmlnlstratlon.' Minnesota in Oregon in 1859 and Kansas In 1861. Two curious different events atanri ,.t In Buchanan's admlnUt the visit of the prince of Wales, then a young and charming Englishman, after ward Edward the' fUvunih ( d--i j " - v WIIIWIU. The hostess at the White House on this occasion was the .president's niece, Mies Lane, one of the leading belles of the day. ine otner incident was the outcome of the Is Gambling Increasing Among Women? J In view of Deputy Police Commission Flyrn's war on (ambling and the federal government's raid -on a women's bucket shop In New York, It is interesting to note a Chicago university professor's speech In which he calls attention to the Increased amount of gambling antong women In the tipper circles of society, says the New York Herald. The Chicago man ays this Is due in part to the wave of economy which Is at the present time sweeping over the business world and in which every man is cutting dowry his expenses both at home as well as in his business. He says the wlvea of these men have contracted the gambling habit from a desire to replenish rapidly diminishing personal accounts. Gambling among women, however, Is by no means a thing of recent years, for (00 years ago women of fashion lost thousands nightly and no comment was made. Pepys that entertaining gossip of history, wrote in his diary In 1W7: "I wan tod tonight that Lady Caetle malne Is so great a gamester as to have won 116.000 and lost 31.000 another night at the tard table.'' He continues: "This even Homesick Homesick ain't like th other sicks You get an' hafto go to bed An' drink th' stuff th' drug stores mix. Or hsvs things tied aroun' your head. An' when your ma she wssh your face An' use th' stiver brush an' comb To comb you, an" she'll fill a vase With flowers, 'cause you're sick at borne. Homesick ain't med cine sick at all: It ain't a aick like stumsck ache 'At make you double up an' bawl, An' say you didn't eat th cake. Until your conaclence. It ache, too, Nen you con-feaa, an" you ma smile An' say she got a Joke on you Buhcauae she know It all th' while. Homesick ain't when they see your tongue Or fel your pulse, or your ears buss, Or doctor listens at your lung But, oh, how much you wlsht It wus! Homesick is when you go away A-vtfttrln all hv VAiirs! An' miee the clock 'at ought to stay A-lirkln' on th' mantel shelf. An folks tell stories to' you, too, An' try their best to make you laugh. Th' wind cries in th' chimney flue. An' In th' barnyard Is a calf At bswls an bawls An worst part yet xa ail la ume. now ihi you Know So matter how homealck you get An' want to go home, you can t go. Wilbur D. N'rshtt, in Harper s Magazine Stead r Work! Ne. air. An old man. applying to ths village min ister, wss offered the position of crave digger, with a remuneration of so much a .ffreve. "Will I get steady workr be aaked anxiously, "Steady work V cried the minister. "Land's saaes, man. with steady work you'd bury aJJ Rocky Band la a week."-. Uiiancuu a. BIRTHDAY BOOK. We Cglebrate May 16, 191t School. Tear. Windsor 1903 Lothrop 190i hjlh 1891 High 1891 Howard Kennedy.": 1891 High 1893 St. Fhllomena 1896 Saunders 1904 Ixthrop 1899 Central Park 1899 Franklin 1905 Howard Kennedy. . 1898 , St.... Ave St... Pacific .1903 Farnam 1903 Columbian 1903 Vinton 1903 Iothrop ....1899 .Castellar 1901 .High 1896 .Lake 1902 .Farnam 1901 .Lincoln 1896 .Franklin 1897 Saratoga 189 7 Howard Kennedy. . 1901 Lincoln 1903 High I8f 4 Central 1896 Druid Hill.. 1904 Lincoln 1904 Bancroft 1897 Clifton Hill 1904 Bancroft , .1908 Ct-ntral ..1895 St St St , the Presidents j JAMX6 jyvCMAlOCfcr. rapidly increasing saltation ef tha slave question. It was known as- "John Brown's Raid." Brow n sought , to ' liberate the slaves, and with that In view he and twenty-one associates seised the arsenal at Harper's Ferry, intending to make it a renaeivous. The movement was a fallura Kit Inn. I snd state troopa overpowered ths sealota. Thirteen of their number were killed, two escaped and the rest. Including John Brown, were tried and hung. (Copyright. 1811. by the N. Y. Herald Co.) ing going to ths queen's side to see ths Isdles, I did find the queen, the duchess of York snd one other lady at cards, with the room full of ladles and great men. the which I was amssed to sea on a Sunday." History tills us that It was no unusual thing for women of fashion to sit In a card game from Saturday night until Mondav morning. Marls Antoinette wss a alave to cards, and was known to play for thirty. Six hours. Emperor Joseph wrote of her: "The play at the queen's table wag like that In a common gambling house. Per sons of all kinds were there and mingled without decorum. Great scandal was caused by the fact that several of the Isdles cheated." Charlea II, on the last Sunday which he passed on earth, so history, tells us. Spent the time playing cards with his three fa vorite duchesses. Also, Anne Boleyn wss never so happy as when she was gaming for high stakes. Eve nthe pious Mary was not proof against tha lure of the cards, and to "counterbalance these vanities she paid for the education of a poor child and the expense of binding an apprentice." " Have a Berry Party Pass cards ornamented with hand painted berry sprays bearing the following ues tlons, all to be answered by the name of a berry: What berry is a favorite flavoring: Wln tergreen berry. Whst berry is red when it la green? Blackberry. What berry Is used for a fabrto much used by ladles: Mulberry. What berry wss made fsmous by Mark Twain T Huckleberry. What berry is found on the grass tew berry. What is the most Irritating berry? Raspberry.' What berry la used in stables? Ftraw- berry. What Is the berry always In evidence at great winter festival? Holly. What la the oldest of all berries Elder berry. The berry that always comes with tha king of birds? Cranberry. The most melancholy berry? Blue, berry. An Indentation on the coast? Bayberry. A berry often used in a favorite garnet Checker berry. v What berry la a dunce? Gooseberry. For a prise a strawberry shaped emery may be given to the lady and a berry pi to the man If more elaborate souvenir are desired, there are berry dlshea, plats with berry designs, etc. Cranberry aherbet may be aerved instead of ice oream.-ftt. luis Globe-Democrat. We should respect the rights of ail creature. Even the crow conalderg hU cawa to be Ilatoua-Ufiplncou a, )