THE BEE: OMATIA, MONDAY, MAY 15, 1011.
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.1
Lay of tho Hotel Lobbyist
i "Are you going to th coronatlonr' asked
h Chair Warmer, with an attempt to b
Y'Am I, my boy? My room la Uttered with
p i I hav dropped in my attempt to qual
lly. asserted the Hotel Lobbyist.
, "Haven't you noticed X hava been geelag
' up Uia bottome of my trouaer left a llttla
mora every day, even when It waa dry
; ovar heret Hava my effort been all In
i vein? Dear me! And to think you hare
I failed to obeerva that when I referred to
I the peraon behind the register, the leading
4 man with the d J emend searchlight. I In
j variably called him the 'dark.' Maybe yau
thought I was speaking of "hamp.
I "Breathea there a man with bank ac
1 count o low let see, how does It got
? Something about the embattled farmer
standing at London Bridge and paying the
' shot toted around the world. I'm with
; theaa lads. Believe me, that Is my Idea of
modern patriotism, being able ta simply
ride aver the spenders of all other nations
'a i" auveiung out me coin i in, mDiwnioui
Jyest carnival when Oeorge the Five Times
siaps a crown on nia neaa ana assumes a
string of tltler resembling a Barnum
Bailey, three sheet poster.
"War la not tha modern way of conquest.
There Is no call for firing a volley of
lead too comment Soma even consider
cold steal common. A bit of a wheese,
ma boy. Anyway, we never had anything
to do with the -Commons; our money mar
ried into the House of Lords, although a
little of it was used at tha 'euy-electlons.'
Ohio please write. ,
"No, sir. No volleys of common lead to .
establish our supremacy. Nothing but gold
volleys for our peerless representatives
abroad to mow a swath through tha effete
and titled regiments, to the front seats of
the mighty. Of course, I speak of our
vry best people. Not all of the 1, 000.000
o or here will be on the Job, but the select
twenty or fifty thousand. 80 let the Ameri
can eagle scream. Let the half-eagle and
tha plain Iron man squeak a little, too.
"That's conquest for you. Don't mention
such trifles ss 1776 and 1812. They were
mere skirmishes to the grand campaign,
tha steady advance, the grand assault and
tha knocking of a nation Insensible with
tons of detestable but negotiable Yankee
gold, the smothers of prejudice with bales
of drafts, the raking fire of tips which
taekn the Englishman and the Continentals
hVilck with snguish. and finally burying
t.'hs entire army of Britons under acres of
American cash.
'That's up to date stuff. Don't tslk to
me of the countermarching or counter
imping on the Mexican border, . nor of
ne enraged Aiasasns aumping tngnin
coal into tha chilly northwestern wsters.
Th Boston . precedent., doesn't hold good,
for tha salt never goes well in teSj, even on
April Fools' day, while the coal can .be
"CONQUEST I"
recovered. But as for tha American money,
it will never come back."
"Think of the Joy of renting th most
desirable window to view the parade, tak
Ing It away from tha Londoner," grinned
the Chair Warmer.
"Yep. the Joy snd th pan,' answered
the Hotel Lobbyist.
(Copyright, 1911, by the N. T. Herald Co.)
Mother Caalda't Da It.
A little girl, sitting beside her mother in
a New York theater, caused many amused
glances by her frequent bursts of comment
and laughter. For a time her mother, un
willing to be the center of attraction, suc
ceeded In holding the Irrepressible In
check. But, when a Japanese troupe. In
pink fleshings, cam on, th twinkling legs
of a recumbent Jap, tossing a barrel In
dlszy revolutions, proved too much.
"Look, mother," piped the shrill treble.
"you could do that, too, If you wanted
too; couldn't you?" Llpptncott's.
ntdft afewn'lt.
The old friends hsd had three days to
gether.
"You hsve a pretty place her, John
remarked th guest on th morning of bis
departure. "But it looks a bit bar yet."
"on, that because th trees are so
young," answered the host comfortably. "I
hope they'll have grown to a good sis
before you come sgaln." Llppincott's. .
No One Lost.
"Are you perfectly sur no on has ever
been lost here?" asked on of th ladles,
anxiously, as they hesitated before- th
frail and rickety Sand Bar ferryboat, .
"No, missus;" replied the ferryman, "no
one ain't never been los" here, Mars
Jske Brlstow don' got spilled out,- but dey
found 'lm sgln nex' dsy." Llppincott's
The servant In the house is worth two
In the employment agency.
t gggTvu, t Tr tut rvmme m rrsus rsrw wn wrw s co 1 wyfcii
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wt HAVIkK 'SS1252tTf f IF IT vmsnY, fT rW
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I i. . rrw . fi moeM IT i
f AOHETHINCr 3 H ""vrsL t U (WUflTl d I
I v ifMOrK A I but aott -T ELL.HEREv I
I I IFT MF i -Ti II TflLBviTrwe IwHCTE J Put I
. i77 JFnKM"Z y-
II I I lail . . , ,. !. IS HI Sk ltl , I -I TTJTT - !. - ., ., M,
Loretta' Looking Glass-Eeflects Girl Who is "Responsive"
ir-- . i
"My Dear Loretta: Are you one of the
old-fashioned women who believes that a
girl should be an iceberg till th right man
come to thaw her out? .1 don't see why
a girl should be austere and repellent Just
because a man- has not proposed.: Nit she
likes blm, why should she not show Itf
It seems to me that she can be as affec
tionate with her men friend as with her
lrl friends. I should Ilk to hear what
you will say to a girl who believes In
being responsive to men friends, in klsAtlig
them if she cares to. Just exactly as she
does girls. '
' "MISS BROADMINDED."
Miss Broadmlnded. you must know some
very fine men. If you honestly think what
your letter says. It is proof positive that
tha men you know have respected your
Ignorance rather than profited by your
"broadmlndedness." Or else you are ter
ribly unattractive. I do not know which
to think. If you actually knew what you
mere talking -about-ya- would suffer a
thousand mortifications at your own foolishness.
any kind of a maa as
girl. Ths kiss might be
contraction of the lips
nld be chsnged. And you
could not make me believe if you gave
all your time and good deal more elo
quence than you possess to convincing me
that you feel toward a man exactly as you
do toward a girl.1 It la not human! It Is
not natural
KYou can't kiss ai
5the ssme muscular
but Its nature wouk
Girls can self-deceive themselves with a
perfection that the ostrich who thinks hs
is hidden because his head 1 covered haa
nsvsr achieved.
But wake up! The affection between a
man and a girl who are not blood-kin or
the kind of friends who have grown up
together has possibilities that are utterly
out of th question between girls. And
listen to this! You may be generausly dis
pensing your kisses Just to find out some
time that they are regarded as trifles.
Why) kisses are I don't know Just how
to tell you what they are! But they are
not things to be cheapened. And don't
you run the risk of msklng yours se com
mon thst you may disgust the very man
whose IntSreat In you might grow to be th
lov which deserves a- monopoly on your
caresses'.' Some day you may- fael as other
loving women have, how little, how mea
ger, how limited are the gifts you . have
to lay en love's altar. You will want
every kiss thsn that you have wasttd!
You will weary and wall for mora, mor.
mora, to be giving!
Here Is something experience haa taught
me. Ths men who hsvs a purely friendly
affection for me have never betrayed any
frantic desire to kiss me. When they be
gin to get enthusiastic about kisses, one
of the queer changes that taks placs in th
emotional laboratory of a man Is working.
A new element Is there. Th purely friendly
is mixed with or negatived by 1L .
And this Is what I say tb you. You ara
not broadmlnded. Tou ars mlxed-mlnded.
You are longing for love and playing with
fire. You are taking tha signs and sym
bols of love and deliberately pretending
that tbey stand for friendship. But they
do not.
r
Fizz Water Figures
There may be cause for rejoicing arftvmg
prohibitionists and a corresponding cause
for alarm among others at the news Jhat
the Importation of French champagne Into
the United States shows an Immense" fall
ing off from tne importation of the pre
ceding year. In fact, the official figures
Indicate that 1910 waa tha worst year for
the rhampagne Importers since 1898.
The figures, 481,771 cases of champagne
In 1909, and only 254,761 cases In 1910, tell
their own story, and the American Wine
Press offers tha following explanation:
The French champagnes made a big
apparent gain In 1909 because thousands of
extra case were Imported to escape the
Increased tariff duty, and large quantities
of tha wine are said to be unsold or In
warehouses. In brief, the American cham
pagnes are gaining what the foreign brands
are losing. The Importations of French
champagnes into tha United States In 1910
amounted to 4S1.771 cases; in 1910 to 254.7&1
,cases. Here is a decrease of 227.01K) cases,
which at the wholesale price of $2S per case
would represent a loss of ,6.254,660 worth of
business.
r
Which Nobody Can Deny
J
The bartender All smiles.
The auctioneer Morbid and forbidding.
The bridge fiend-Wistful.
The waiter Tipsy.
The lumberman Bored.
The glazier With a pained expressslon.
The manicure Handsome.
The bucketshop manager Pale.
The bride Well groomed.
The police court Judge Fine.
The night watchman Mournful.
Th poker player Winsome.
The paper hanger Wall-eyed.
The carpenter chipper. You never saw
one plain.
The aviator Looks down on us Llppin
cott's.
1 KJ?Z; 1 Mil II U If A I AVsf V
x mut sri AoocTonAfW thwcs to nlf
" jLo AWO AVOJJ) vfJl MSI "FELINE
I Uf" tesi OUT-OOORS I H I! '
CmX llfvv "ERCISE.S .gJ
2 r M.EDCNE JtCw
r DISLIKE TO CftUSEA YS r lsxZ
KfKTWHl ANXIETY J YOUR ViCOJfOOS7
BUT THIS ISA CASE TREATMENT MO
P0A AMPUTATION SEEMb TO )r
AI6HT BEHIND THE WAVE PUT SVSi. fer
UAJtS J NEWi-iFE Jyf1?
J?' INTO ME WV'f J7f
ALREADY, W ' & -
Li 'ft
Keep Your Manners on Right
)
There ar a lot of folks who have a
lovely little mantle of manner hung up In
tha wardrobe of their personal equipments,
ready to slip on end-off at a moment's
notlcs. When they want to make an im
pression on some one- particular peraon or
persons they hastily brush the dust off the
mantle, throw It across their shoulders,
and lo! Betu Brummei'ln his palmy days
wasn't more of an rxponervt of the art of
being polite.
Some folks have two mantles, a Sunday
on and ons of cheap materia! for week
day wear. Others sttnply taks ths precau
tion of providing themselves with ths Sun
day model and let the week day take rare
of Itself. They consider manner entirely
too much trouble to carry-around all th
while, so they leav them at home with
their frork coat and plumed hats. All of
these wearers of. Surtax snsnnrrs com
under ths csptlon of shams, fakes, poseurs.
Imitations and the like.' They are trying
to bunco the world Into thinking they are
the real refined artlcls. Boonsr or later
they stub their toe on some little situation
tbst requires Just a wee bit of real thought-
llnsas, snd ever afterward their number
known.
No",- when Aunt Mary comes today be
surs to us your company manners." Is a
common warning sounded by parents. This
mistaken Idea of two sets of manners In
stilled Into child, mind 1 liktly to de
velop a selfish and unavoidable man or
woman becsuse the value of being real at
all times is destroyed. Children who cor
rect their parents, men who scatter their
clothes about their room, women who
come to the table with tarn-sled hair, all
these are on the list of the Impollt, no
matter how polished their manner may be
In public.
Th thoroughbred Is Involuntarlty thought
ful; with him it is subconsciousness. Second
nature. His manners are as much a part
of him as bis right eye or his left arm,
and he la mannerly net because convention
demands It. but because he can't help it.
Talked Shop Toe Mark.
A young woman of Toledo, . O.. . wss
asked by a friend as to the llkvablenoss
of a young chap wno for soms llmj i.sj
Keen paying devoted attention to the young
woman In question.
"Oh." replied the fair one " i-a.-eVsnIy,
"William l a n'ce enough fellow, but he
taiki shop too much."
How's that?" ii tr reit qisin.
"I thought he was a street-car e inductor.
"Bo he is." returned the other; "and he'
contiually saying. 'Sit up clos.-rf "Judge.
Mrs. Crabshaw My dear, you won't
know m when I get my new hat.
Crabshaw I don't suppos I will. If it's
on of those contractions that corns down
over your saia
This is fheDay We Cgjehrate
I 4
Where Cooking is Really "High" Art
MONDAY,
Name and Address,
Edwin D. AlUrhular, 1809 Hurt St
William Anderson, 8138 Chicago St
Donald Burroughs, JJ4 Fowler Ave...,
Josephine Burroughs, 1114 Fowler Ave
Beatrice Bruner, 1718 Caag St '.
Ralph Benedict. 568 South Thirty-fifth Are.
Jennie) Blusienthit, 02. Cuming St..,.,
Blanche Burchtrd, 1618 Lake St
Rene Coniln, 2409 South Twentieth Are
Ooldle Curtl, 1151 South Thirteenth St
Arthur Carlson. 4514 Franklin St
Harry Dowd, 2423 Templeton St
William P. Durker, Jr., 415 North Fortieth St.....
Joaeph DJagtunu, 701 South Seventh St.
Carolina Forbe. 1811 Wirt St
James C. Graham, 2407 Wirt St
Anna Oreenberg. 1529 North Nineteenth 8t. .
Morrla Oruenateln, 2821 Dewey Ave
Mary Goldberg, 619 North Seventeenth St...
Harry Goldman, 1512 North Nineteenth St..
Elliabeth Hoevath. 8402 X St., South Omaha
Helmer Hanson,. 1490 Ogden St..
Fhlllla Israel, 1815 PaclHo St
arace Klug, 1719 Fort St
Helen V. Krenmborg, Dunsany No. 2, Tenth & Tierce.
Meyer Kasper, 2121 Charlea St , .
Philip Lincoln, 2542 Rees St
May L. Larson, Thirty-fourth and Fowler Sts
Esther M. Llndbloom, 607 North Forty-first Avo....
Molly Levtne, 1924 Locust 8t
Thomas Lynch, 1814 North Twenty-seventh St
Gladys Mulr, 8522 Cass St
Archie McBrlde, 1838 South Twenty-fifth Ave
Alfred S. Macr, 608 Georgia Ave
Helen Moore, 1827 North Twenty-fourth St
Sophia Mateha, 2464 8outh Fifth St
Himan Markorltz, 2415 Burdette St
Tern McCoy, 1443 North Nineteenth St
Carl Nelson, 1008 South Twenty-seventh St
Frances M. Nelson, 1431 South Fifteenth St
Beatrice P. OlmBtead, 3524 North Twenty-eighth Ave
Olga Peterson, 328 North Thirty-fifth St
Walter H. Peterson, 2504 Bristol St
Walter Parker, 1907 Plnkney St.'.
Helen Payton, 2311 South Seventeenth St
Murtle M. Pickett, 2520 South Twelfth St
Lester Raker. 4169 Cass St
Herbert Ring, 3106 Half Cass St
Marie Swoboda. 1108 South Second St
Heulah Steadman, 1443 South Sixteenth St
Clara Schroeder, 3158 South Fifteenth 8t
Helen Stodolna, 2217 South Twenty-eighth St
David Slaven, 1709 South Tenth St
Samuel Slotky. 3620 North Thirtieth St
Albert Stilling, 4244 Patrick Ave
Edward E. Spencer, 318 North Sixteenth St
Verna Thomson, 817 South Twenty-third St
Leonard Tlbke, 2025 North Twentieth St
Ina N. Thompson. 1465 -Phelps St
Lu)a Velersten, 1021 North Twenty-third 8t
Fred Wright. 4710 North Thlrty-ixth St..
Joseph Watson, 3380 Parker St
He'en Weymubler, 1822 Sherman Ave....
May 15, 191L
School. Yeskr,
Cass 1961
Farnatn ...1899
Saratoga 1904
Saratoga ........1904
Caas 1900
Columbian 1897
Webster 1198
Howard Kennedy. . 1891
Castellar 1902
Comenius 1904
Walnut Hill 1895
Saratoga 1981
Saunders 189T
Faclflc J903
Lothrop 1903
Sacred Heart 1901
Kellom 1901
Farnam 1908
Cass 1898
Kellom 1905
St, Joseph 1908
Beala 1899
Kellom 1897
Sherman 1898
Pacific ...1905
Kellom 1898
Mason 1699
Monmouth Park.. .1904
Saunders 1901
Lothrop 1898
Long 1908
Saundera ...1199
Mason 1899
Park 1900
Long 1898
Bancroft
Long
Kellom
Mason
Comenius
Drufd Hill
Saundera .......
Lothrop
Lothrop
.1897
.1904
.1902
.1897
.1908
,.1904
.1903
.1898
....... 1VU3
Castellar 1904
Bancroft 1896
Saundera 1901
Webster 1908
Pacific 1900
Comenlua 1898
Edward Rosewater.1901
lm. Conception. ...1908
Lincoln 1898
High 1898
Clifton H1U.' 1880
Cass 1901
Mason 1901
Lake .'...1899
Edward Roaewater.1908
Kellom .1898
Monmouth Park. ..1900
Franklin 101
Lake 1899
Housewives in the Rocky mountain region
and in other elevated portions of the United
states ars obliged to solve a few culinary
problems that do not trouble women else
where. For example, a woman goes from an east
ern city to live In one of the high valleys
of Colorado. She attempts to make a cake
and quite naturally uses the recipe to which
she has long been accustomed. The cake.
Instead of acting as It ought, flows over
the side of the pan, covers the bottom of
the oven and tries to find its way out
under the oven door and over the kitchen
floor. What remains In the pan, instead
of rounding up, appears collapsed.
The trouble is not with he recipe, but
with the atmospheric pressure, which In
terferes with cooking In a good many ways.
At sea-level, wster bolls at 212 degrees
Fahrenheit. At an elevation of 1,030 feet it
bolls at 210 degrees. At Denver, which is
one mile above sea-level, water bolls at M
degrees. In th San Luis vslley, at Del
Norte, which Is 7.750 feet up, it bolls at 19T
degrees. At Leadville. which Is nearly two
miles above the sea. It bolls at 1M degrees.
How Is the housewife to boll an egg at
Lead v I Lie? The answer is thst the thing Is
very hard to accomplish. At all events, shs
must cook ths eggs some minutes, -longer
than the time customary In New Tork or
Chicago. It Is not the fact of boiling that
cooks sn egg. but the number of units of
temperature employed In the prod ess:
hence It takes a good deal loncer ta soak H
at VJ3 degrees than to bring It to tha re
qulsite point of "doneness" In a surround
ing fluid medium o( 211 degrees.
The trouble with the cake previously men
tioned waa that the gas generated In it by
the baking powder was too strong for It.
At sea-level there would hava Ium im
trouble, because the pressure of the air on
the outside would have been a sufficient
restraint; but. the pressure up In th
mountains of Colorado being so much lass,
the gas In the cake made bigger bubbles
which tended to run together, until the re
maining walls were not sufficient to Sus
tain the weight. Then the cake fell, th
pent-up gas sscaplng through fissures In
its outer layer. Incidentally to the preeass,
th gas. Insufficiently restrained, caused
most of the material of th cak to over
flow tha sides of th pan.
On naturally asks. -What should a.
woman do under such circumstances?" It
is very slmpls. She should either us lass
baking powder or Increase the tenacity of
her dough by contributing more alumen
In th shape of an additional egg.
It is worth remarking that the variation
of the boiling temperature of water with
atmospheric pressure make It practicable
to determine the height of a mountain
with the aid of a pot and a thermometer; In
fact, this method Is frequently adopted for
ascertaining elevations at high altitude.
f V
I The Fad for Early RisingJJ
An early to bed and early to rise Is ths
Istest craze of society. The fashion was
set by a number of smart women whose
physician h-ld In high disdain their sacred
custom of breskfasting In bed. In favor
of the benefits to be derived from an ad
herence to the old adage, one doctor says:
"Prsctlcslly 90 per cent of us rise an hour
too late. Everybody up to the age of 0
years should be downstslrs by 7 o'clock
Then a two mile wslk, a ride on horsebeek
or a cycle spin should follow. Lack of
mlney Is no excuse, for walks cost nothing
but effort.
"If this course m-ere followed there would
be a real desire for breakfast a desire
which I suppose is absent in W per cent of
the people who rise late. While it is easy
to develop an sppetlte for subsequent meals
ot the day. breakfast Is dlffefent. For sev
eral hours one has been In bed and a fresh
supply of oxygen Is neceesttsfed. This csn
only be obtained by genuine exercise before
the meal, not by a casual spin ' on the
veranda.
"But this early rising in not good unless
there ts slso an early retiring to bed.
Children used formerly to go to bet at S
o'clock and their parents st 11 o'clock.
Nowadays the- children go to bed at the
latter hour and ths parents the next morn
ing. If early hours were msde the thing, a
vm amount of neurssthenls, nervous
breakdowns and cases of melsnrholla would
he avoided "
Beer was discovered by the Egyptians.
Heredotus, writing V B. C, ststed thst
barley wss the principal Ingredient used
by thuse ancients tit brewing th beverage.
Nubs of Knowledge
J
8t Paul, the apostle, was shipwrecked
in the year 63.
Bandy Hook lighthouse wss first lighted
on June IS. 174.
First school In Newark. N. J., was estab
lished in 1676.
Harps were familiar to the Hebrews In
the time of Moses, and were played aa
esrly as WO B. C. by the Egyptians, who
sttained great perfection In their construc
tion. During le more ties ths occurred In the
month of Msrch In the United Mate than
any other month. The victims numbered
TO.oiiS- March as a rule has the largest
mortality and June the lowest.
Gold waa discovered In California In lafT.
Almost Immediately upon his arrival In the
West Indies in 1492 Columbus received '
from the natives pieces of gold In exchange f
for hawk's bells, and from that year until
i&W the annual exports of the yellow metal 1
from America to Europe amounted to '
nearly S-'fiO.OGQ. This most precious of met- i
al la mentioned in the oldest records ot
the human race.
i ,
A Little Knowledge.
Dr. Marcus Hers of Berlin la credited'
with saying to a patient who read medical i
books diligently In order to preseiiae foi
himself: "Be csreful, my friend. Bern fine)'
dsy you'll die of a misprint." Buffalo Cotu- '
merclal. j