9
"S,!!I!!5!,!!!
jrre -jVlag'a z i re pag'e
The BrrVdunlor Birthday DooK
Astronomical Happenings in May
his is flie Da
TTTE BEE: OMAHA. MONDAY, MAT 1. 1011.
J
During fhe month of May. at It begin
nine, middle and end. the times of sunrise
fnd unet and the lengths of the days are
fol ow-:
late. Sunrise. Hunset.
L...'...B:2ft.. 7:17...
Ul 5:( 7:32...
81 4:M.......7;4....
li'nirth of Par.
...13 hour 52 minute
...II bourn !l minutes
.4.14 hour M mlnut'i
The moon will be in Its first quarter on
the Bth. full tti th 12th. In last quarter on
the fist. and,rw on the Jth.
Mercury becomes morning star on the
Bth. and aKhntiKh Its maximum elnncatton
west Of the sun will he U degrees on the
MM, it will be difficult to see In the morn
ing twilight., .
Venn la continually Increasing In bril
liancy' and In . Its distance from the sun
In the wester haky after sunset.
Mara la morning atar. It rises at 2:32 a.
m.-on th' 15th..' It Ms not in a favorable
position for observation.
Jupiter , la becoming more prominent in
the southeast alter sunset. H Is on th?
meridian at 11 p. m. on the 15th.
Saturn la too near the sun to be seen.
. . . . WILLIAM F. RIOOK.
Crelghton ITniversity Observatory, Omaha.
Neb. - '
Well, we never hav to move on moving
day, .Anyway,',' said, tn Chair Warmer,
cheerfully, as be settled upon a leather
upholstered settee, '
"Toil muat be Mr. Pterllng. the silver
lining man," scoffed the Hotel lobbyist.
Man, man! You' have sat around hotel
lyobliltB' so i long you, -have, forgotten the
lten delights of moving d-'v Every little
moving has a meanness all its own, as the
song goes,'- and lavely -spring,, tripping over
the hills on rosy 1 lines.' has absolutely
nothing nn ,tn-tenant aiffie trlpa over a
box of kitchen utensils In the darkest hour
preceding v the, dawiu '
What aryou felicitating . yourself
about, anyway f Da you know anything Of
tha Joys of moving? flow 'about It when
;ou have had "the consideration of giving
your landlord a month's notice? Does ha
show Ma . appreciation? .' Certainly, H
hangs up a neat little sign about a yard
vylda -Informing all that tha place Is for
ipnt, and your privacy Is invaded night
sand day by. house hunters, who rove In
and,-ut ostensibly to look over the place,
but really to make haughty remark about
tha furnishings, tha pictures and occu
pants and their poor taste in wallpaper.
Taos Sunday morning snooses are gone
for a month, for bright and early each
Sabbath tha house hunter arrives In regi
ments, troops, squads and skirmish lines,
catching the unhappy, head of tha house
diving, out of .his pyjamas Into his Sunday
clothes or trying to hurdle Into the bath
tub. " " ' . -
if - they'd only- parade through In a
body, with a megaphone man lecturing on
the points of Interest and quaint Inhabi
tants like a seeing-New-York-guttapercha
vehicle It (wouldn't be so bad. But they
otli at meal times during the week. The
only appropriate .restitution the sufferer
c get Is to go -and Inflict himself on
some other unfortunate In a similar hunt.
"jrinally,. the . night before the battle ar
riva. Father stands off his buslneas for a
day and prepares to da Ihe first work In
years; He comes home to a chilly and dis
mantled shell of what he called his hab
itat, file wife Is croea from a day'a work
at tearing down and packing. Hla children
ar asleep on piles of ruga, the beds hav
ing been dissected. Ha eats a cold meal
off tha edge of th kitchen tubs, the din
lag table, being loaded .with, curtains.
m,i
Greek Notion
Demosthenes, a Greek waiter with Ideas,
was Interviewed by ' the Chicago Tribune
on th ancient problem of . woman. Of th
American, husband this observant waiter
said : -. it'.-
"He Is n the boss. .Tha's no good. Pee?
Jn Qre-e-e-ecevth hooaband, he boss. The
'woman she have nothing to do with It.
H say 'Jump,!' she jump. Tha's good,
ee? A an . tha' . las no make hees wife
mln he has got what you call nothing to
m. Am' I right?
"Las' night, .( man come In here with
hoes wife. Khe aVa sore about, aomethln'
don't know what Anyway, he talk to
real nice,- but "she say, 'hut up?' Now.
Wat you think of that? ' '
"You know w'at I do if my wife, she
tell m to shut, up?" he inquired. "I hit
fcer. I don' cars If they hang me, she aJn'
goln' tell me to shut up. Tha's no w.ty.
Maybe I W ilt hef hard, but you bet I
nit her. , Think a Gre-a-e-ek goln' stan'
still while hees wife tight In front of a
waiter, she tell him to 'shut up? No, s!r."
With some difficulty It was explained
that if his wife .was. an American, site
would probably go to a divorce court and
charge fcln with Inflicting public Indigni
ties. "What J care? " . he demanded, with ex
travagant tightness. "Hhe wan' a divorce,
let her get It. Tha s-s-i trouble; you
, Amerikln all a .time 'fratd, your wife goln'
get away from yea. . S'pose she does, sin'
XJRAWN BATTLE.
wwrMtlc4 for ovah n bour
grit's rod scarf this mawning.
, Which won the victory?"
"Hcither. Hatch molted la I
ea llawlllawr
' a" Lay of the Hotel Lobbyist
r . :
WILLIAM F. R1GOK.
"VAN MAN."
lamps, pictures, phonographs and other In
edible stuff.
"There Is nothing left to pass the even
lng pleasantly with but to continue the
work of dismantling until so late after
midnight that the neighbors below pound
on the steamplpes. The unhappy pair
finally fall on the bundled-up mattresses,
close their eyes and the alarm clock goes
off-for It la the first of May.
"Why do they rise early? Because they
have had the solemn assurance of the van
man that they can havs an early start.
Experience haa taught thatan early start
.alone will make It a one-day job. S they
eat feverishly at dawn and spend the
morning quarreling with each other. Just
about lunch time, and after frequent tele
phone calls 'for help, the van appears and
leisurely ties up In front. Then the huskies
come In and delicately Inquire It the family
can loan them a wash boiler to get the
suds in.
"Let us draw the curtain over the scenes
of destruction which follow. Valuable
paintings and pretty lamp shades invaria
bly fall on May 1. Planoa never ' pass
through doors or windows without a few
preliminary jams at the jamb. It's a glad
atory, lads."
"May festivals used to be the thing on
May dar." remarked the Chair Warmer,
"but now moving seems to lead."
"At least It s in the van," added the
Hotel Lobbyist.
(Copyright, 1911, by the N. Y. Herald Co.)
of Good Wives'
j
there plenty more wifes? But. say you
teach 'em right, an they ain' goln' want
to get away. In Gre-e-e-ce, a girl sh not
atart goln' round with fellows when she's
IS year old. Khe stay at 'ome. an' go to
church an' help her mamma. Then, w'en
somebody want to marry her, he go to her
papa, an say, 'Miser, I wanna marry
your girl." He say. 'All r-rtght. how much
money you got? You tell 'Im; then if he
think you make a good husband, ' say
All r-rlght, go ahead ' Only yon eee tha'
he give aomethln', too.
"Then If your wife not behave, you take
her back to her papa, an' he say he sorry
an' beg your pardon, an' you kep th'
money her papa gave you.
"But this kin' of thing not happen of en.
Th' wife she gen'rully sa'sfied. You see,
her hosband Iss the firs man she ever
know, so sh think he's pretty fin.
"Here, long time before girl get married
they been runnln' 'roun' with a lot of
man, an' just so soon as they get married
they remember, 'Well, thla man. he was so
handsom', an' this man, he was so po-llte,
an' this man, hs had so. much money.'
He shrugged his shoulders disgustedly,
"Tha ain't no way for pe-pul to be mar
ried. A woman, she's go' to think tha
her hoosban' Is about th' bes man In th
worl an', aay, th' way you make her think
that la never let her hav nothln' to do
w th no others.'
MAGIC
"Ah, wpealdef f elcctrldtj
that makes tne thiak"
'Really, Mr. SapUegh? Isn't it
wos&rtul what clcetridty -car
tin R! inmUiinTiTrin7rrrmnj1(iiini,j
r tT, It I At . G lA I
Are Women Worth the Worry
Have you heard that young Abbott and.
Miss Stoker are engaged?" asked the Fem
inine Oracle.
Yes," answered the Student of Femi
ninity. And thon he added slowly snd
thoughtfully: "Poor devil!" "Why do you
say that V inquired the Feminine Oracle
resentfully. "She's on of th nicest girls
know."
"Certainly." assented the Student of Fem
ininity. "I'm "jut orry-lor nar. as i
am for him." , .
'Ons would think from the way you
speak that your own marriage is a fail
ure," th Oracla rejoined reproacnruiiy.
Do you talk to other people Ilk that?
"Then without waiting for a reply she
added: "On would think you were
woman hater!" .
So I am sometimes." the Student re
joined. "There ar lucid moments in tne
life of the most confirmed souse wnen me
mell of whisky is 16athsome to mm
There ar hours when the devote of dope
turns from his soothing poin- There is
time when the most inveterate admirer
of your sex aske himself tne queuun.
Are women worth the worry 7 n
quarter of an hour which o married man
can hope to escape.
You're Just talking now!" returnea ine
Oracle with her most superior maimer.
You know very well that If every marriea
coupl told the truth they would admit that
no day In their lives is witnoui us uu
quarter of an hour. In fact they'r lucky
If it isn't three-quarters of a day."
How about those people that get up on
the fiftieth anniversary of their weddings
and swear they have never exchanged a
cross word In their lives? What do you
think about them?"
"I think they're old hyprocrites! replied
the Oracle, "and you know they are! But
what do you mean by asking If women are
worth th worry? What worry? Do you
suppose there's a man on earth that haa
to worry about whether or not his wire
will be horn in time for dinner? Yet that's
what every woman in th world Is thinking
about every afternoon between e ana s
o'clock."
Well, th man's worrying about how to
pay for th dinner and his sort of worry
ing haa longer hours," answered th Stu
dent. "Occasionally, too," he added, "he
f Loretta's Looking
You ar not a good fellow. Tou cannot
b a good fallow. Tou ar reaching for the
impcsslbl. Tou and th baby who hurts
his little back bone stretching for the
moon ar allk.
Not lust alike, either. For the stretching
strengthens the smalt spinal column, which
has a vary hand to keep It from brak
ing. You have not that hand. In your so
cial gymnastica, to keep you from hurting
youraelf. Unless you let m play th part.
And I warn you I shall presume upon the
privilege and spank.
For it is so stupid, so futile, so undignified,-
so gettlng-ln-her-own-way-and-stumbllng-over-heraelf
for a girl to try to
be a good fellow. I think of an old riddle
that asked: "When is a sailor not a
sailor?" and th answer was. "When he's
aboard." Inspired by it I mad a riddle
of my own: "When is a girl not a girl?"
and I make the answer, too: "When she
Is trying to be a good fellow."
In th depths .of your heart, you do not
want to b a good fellow. What you ar
after Is to enjoy th priil gs of good fel
lowship and not th disdvanUg-a But
may .wasle a little time on speculating as
to whether the dinner will be worth going
home to ea' ' -
"The great trouble with women is that
they build their Ideals like one of those
high priced, fancy knives that have, a pair
of scissors, a corkscrew, a complete mani
cure set, a drinking cup and a sheep shear
ing apparatus, in addition to'' the regular
blades, yet not any one thing; in tha whole
blooming outfit is good for anything!!' '
"You want a cook and a tieauty a wit
and a door mat -combined! The' very man
that wouldn't expect a thoroughbred racer
to make any kind of a showing at draw
ing a coal cart marries a soelal butterfly
and feels terribly injured because she can't
make onloa soup." , '
"There's a great deal In what you say,"
the Student admitted. "And, .. of course
there is only one solution." '
"What is It?" breathed the Feminine Ora
cla with flattering Interest.
"Polygamy!" ho answered bluntly.
"Do you mean to tall me?" aked the
Oracle, with deceptive calmness, "that
anybody but th lowest down barbarian
brute could consider such a thing? And
besides if every married man wonders If
one woman la worth tha worry, think of
all tha worrying he'd have to do about
ton."
"Oh, no, not If h was a good picker."
the Student retorted. "Now, if I had to
select ten. wives I'd order them all just
alike."
"Just like what?" breathed the Feminine
Oracla eagerly. ,.
"Just Ilk you pretty and clever and
iwmI and devellsh," he replied warily.
"Is my halo on straight?"- she asked
coquettlshly.
Th hid of th hippopotamus is In places
fully two Inches thick.
Reports of the proceedings in the House
of Commons were not permitted until 1M7.
For short distances th salmon is stated
to be th swiftest fish. v
Nubs of Knowledge 1
Glass-Held Up to the "Good Fellow" Girl Jj
you cannot do it. Always yqu get sour
with th sweet. And the particular acid
that comes from your effort st this kind
of fellowship is th contempt of th men
you ar endeavoring to please. It's rather
cruel to be misjudged by th very ones
with whom you are tiying to be Jolly and
Informal. But it always happens.
Tou see. your idua of good fellowship is
too ladylike to be th sam that a man
entertains. If he were ready to treat you
as he would another fellowwell, even
clever men cannot do th impossible. And
certainly a clever man would be th last
to attempt it, for clever men hav the
wisdom to guard their Illusions, even if a
stupid and imaginative girl gives them a
chance to spoil them.
Gilbert Chesterton says. In on of hi
books, that a lady asked htm if he believed
in comradeship between th 'sexes. He
says he was driven back on offering the
obvious and sincere reply that he did not.
"because If I were to treat you for two
minute like a comrade you would turn
mm out of th house."
Z am not so sur that h kaew all about
' . ' " "' ' '' I
r
House for Kwang Hsu
Th late "Son of Heaven," the lamented
Chinese Emperor, Kwang Hsu, having
followed his ancestors Into eternal desue
tude, must necessarily occupy one of those
magnificent mausoleums of cunningly
carved and almost Indlstructlble precious
woods, whose slae as wtell aa quality must
be extraordinary and almost unapproach
able. Th forests of Asia have been care
fully searched and after much compe
tition the contract to supply this material
has been awarded, to a Manila .lumber
companyt whoa first shipment .-of 60,000
feet- will Inaugurate the work of adding
another splendid mausoleum of the tombs
of the Ming Dynasty near Pekin. Some
of the giant hardwood trees for pillars
have already been felled In Mindanao, and
are sixty feet high by four feet In diameter,
weighing over seventeen tons each. Na
tional Magazine.
c
Where the Pins Go
J
For some centuries, the scientists and
curious questioners of mankind have buied
themselves with vain guesses and vainer
speculations as to "What becomes of the
pins?" says the National Magaxlne. Every
body knows In a general way and a very
few realize fully that many hundreds of
thousands of tons of copper, tin, steel
and other metals are made Into pins every
year, only to go into use for a brief period
and then, like the fated hunter of the
"Boojum", quietly vanish away.
An English gentelman, "who wanted
to know, you know," has quietly experi
mented with pins of various kinds, and
now announces that a very brief time
elapses, not over One hundred and fifty
four days, before the lndespensabl hair
pin Is resolved Into dust and blown away
by the wind. Bright pins last nearly
eighteen months, polished steel needles,
two years and a half; brass pins ar very
short lived; and steel-pens even when not
exposed to acids In inks are nearly eaten
away in a year.
A Possle.
Why is It. do you suppose.
Every little kid that grows
Wants to use the garden hose
Only in his best of clothes?
women. I hav a suspicion that, if he had
done, th lady might have allowed th in
suits to her femininity Just to prove that
ah was broad-minded enough to be a
real comrade, a genuine good fellow."
That's th mistake you make. You think
so much of proving your superiority to
your sex's so-called narrowness that you
let the men who will take advantage of
ycur pose go a good deal further than they
ought. It is because you are a woman
that where they go Is "too far." If you
were. Indeed, another fellow. It would b
all right. And a man does not 4ov a
woman who underestimates her own wo
manhood. Why, haven't you seen girls who ar
especially feminine simply walk off wKo
th available men at summer resorts? It
Is the appeal of their womanliness. That
Is why men like them. If you ar encour
aging th idea that you can be popular
by being a good fellow, you are mistaken.
Shed your mongrel manners. Doff your
mannish ties. Wear girl's hats and girl's
shoes and petticoats, even in your disposition.
0
We Celebrate
I T I 1-1 m-.
MONDAY,
May 1, 1911.
Name and Address. School. Year
May Anderson, 3118 Leavenworth St ..Farnatn 1901
Hayman Broude. 1S33 North Twenty-third St Long 1904
Amy Berqulst. 1318 South Twenty-fifth Ave Park 1897
Athol B. Brophy, 2803 Woolworth Ave Park .....188
Millard Bauchman, 2361 South Twenty-ninth St.... Park ...1897
Adolph Benson, 2578 Pratt St Lothrop ....... .-1898
Edgar Beebe, 4910 California St High ...... .....1896
Charles W. Barry, 2710 Shirley 8t Dupont ...... ....1903
Harry H. Bailey, 640 South Twenty-fourth St Central 1897
Frank Bosanec, 1307 William St Comentua ........1900
Rachel Cameo, 2210 North Twenty-sixth St Long 1894
Gwendolyn Cheek. 2060 North Eighteenth St Laka .......1905
Edith Clifton. 1306 South Sixth St .....High .., 1895
Ellas Domet, 1424 South Twelfth St Lincoln 1908
Agnes M. Doran, 1556 North Seventeenth St Holy Family 1896
Allen Dowltng, 3915 Blnney St Clifton Hill 1904
Lola May Eachler, 4315 Seward St Walnut Hill .....1901
Charles Ellis, 1810 Grace St Lake 1900
R. I. Furay, Fifty-ninth and Center Sts Seals 1908
Maud Frankland, 4731 North Forty-first St Central Park ....1895
Edith M. Grosjean, 3816 Brown St High 1889
Antonio Gillotte, 2020 Pierce St Mason 1905
Frank Granor, 1918 South Eighteenth St..... St. Joneph -1900
Minnie Greenberg, 1464 South Thirteenth St Comenlua 1901
Katie Graff, 917 North Twenty-fifth Ave Kellom 1897
Raymond Hahn, 2322 North Twenty-first St Laka 1904
Lima Hinkhouse, 3334 South Nineteenth St High 1893
Walter Hill, 3522 North Twenty-eighth St Howard Kennedy . .1908
Mildred M. Jack, 2022 Howard St Central 1904
Hazel Jenkins, 4825 Cass St High .....1891
Frank Krlss. 620 Hickory St High 189
Vivian G. Kaspar, 1421 South Twelfth St Lincoln 1903'
Arthur Lindell, 704 North Thirty-third St High 1898
Izzle Levlne, 2629 Patrick Ave Long 1901
Charles La Hood, 2739 Elm St Bancroft 1901
James L. McDonell, 1224 South Fifty-third
George Miller. 3608 X St.. South Omaha St. Joseph 1900
Clarence Murray, 901 South Fifty-second St Beals ..1905
Emery F. Morse. 4216 Grant St Clifton Hill 1903
Foy Parter, 1612 South Twenty-ninth St High 1894
Hulda Peterson, 3415 Dewey Ave High 1891
Ethel Pilgrim, 4021 North Twenty-sixth Ava Loth-op 1900
Laura Ruhe, 4523 Hamilton 8t Walnut Hut 1896
Warren Richmond, 2767 South Tenth St Bancroft ........1903
Pearl Russell, 2207 North Twentieth St Lake 1902
Tony Satorle, 1322 South Third St Train ..1896
Anton Skellenger, 514 Woolworth Ave Train 1897
Sam Specter. 2007 Paul St... Cass 1889
Herbert Schroeder, 1114 South Twenty-seventh St.. German Lutheran.. 1893
Leona H. Shannon, 1429 North Seventeenth St Kellom ....1899
L. Dewey Webber, 2909 Mason St Park 1898
f .
. Serious History in Comic Vein I
- ' - '; ' i j
Well, who'd hav thought old Quaker-
viHe-on-th-Dlawar had that many up
her sleeve?" exclaimed Show-Ms Smith.
What's the matter with Philadelphia,
Bhow-Me?" was' asked.
Why, here's a paper says In one column
that they're going to cut down th number
of saloons In Philly by flv or six hundred
and In another column that th whole
town's going to be lit up.
'It'll be an awful drain on th places
that's left
"Why, it'll bo almost a national calam
ity to yank flv hundred saloons out of
Philadelphia that way when she needs all
th excitement she ran get. That's why
they're going to light her all up, I sup
pose, so they won't miss 'em.
Looks to me ilk It's casting reflections
on Quaker William Penn, and he was th
first man In Pennsylvania to buy, too.
Stood treat to th Indians like a real sport
"There's another little matter history Is
twisted on Billy Penn's case. They'v al
ways put Quaker Bill down in the books
as a real estate dealer with an A No. 1
ratln', but h wa'n't nothing of the kind.
William was the first base ball magnat in
this country, because he was the first um
pire th Indian Athletics of them times
found that they didn't kill after th ninth
inning for robbln' 'em of th gam.
'Bill Penn's decisions were always on
A Philadelphia paper gives a remarkable
instance of family Immunity from death.
Mr. and Mrs. Philip Bterman of Shenan
doah, will shortly celebrat their golden
wedding. Eleven children, seven boys and
four girls, were born to them, all of whom
ar living. Indeed ther has not been
a death in the Immediate family la forty-
eight years.
There ar now thirteen grandchildren.
Mr. Blermann Is 73 years old and his wife
6. Longevity seems to be common in th
family, for an older brother of Mr. Bler
mann, a veteran of the Civil war, who
resides with him. is hale and hearty in
his BOs. A sister of Mrs. Blermann re
cently celebrated her golden wadding.
"Hav you any serious trouble with your
new automobile?"
"Not a bit. Bo far I haven't hit a single
man without being able to get away before
he got my number." Cleveland Leader.
"Wfien I got &ocn I fami taj
wUe had gone to ber mother V
What Ud you do?
Hurried Ttrt&ere and team
good mcaLto.
f .
U . Long-Lived Family II
J
St Beats
the level and usually In favor of Phila
delphia, so there never was a kick eomln'
to him.
"Just to show hla good felln ta tha
matter when the first season -wsa over
Bill bought the team and went Into th
magnate business, payin' part cash down
and the rest in Philadelphia scrapple for
hla share of th stock. Bill's first season
as a' manager was a big hit, for they put
th state of Pennsylvania up for a pen
nant and Bill's team won handa down.
"Th next season they played for Dela
ware and Maryland and they'd hav won
them states, too, only Big Chief Three
Strikes forgot to touch horn plat and
it cost 'em the championship that year.
Bill had the Quaker meeting with the Big
Chief after the game, and them that saw
it said they judged the spirit was moving
old Three-Strikes ten feet at a time. Bill
introduced a good many reforms in has
ball. He was th first umpire to appear
on th diamond In a frock coat and get
away with It. He stayed in th magnate
business for many seasons, until h got
his present 4ob as night and day watchman
In Market street
"But what gets me Is why Philadelphia
wants to drop five or six hundred ot her
gilded saloons. I should think shed b
afraid of loweiin' her battln' average."
(Copyright, 1911, by th N. T. Herald Co.)
J
II
Nubs of Knowledge
Malls were first sent by rail In U33.
The Star Chamber was abolished In 1ML
"Cash" originally meant a case of money.
Th first bicycle with pedals was mad
about 1S40.
A penny weighs one-third of aa OUOC
avoirdupois.
Thre tennis courts have been laid out la
Pittsburg on land valued at 11,000.000.
July derives its nam from Julius Caesar,
who was born In that month.
A Belgian pigeon trainer haa been ex
perimenting with swallows la th plao of
homing pigeons, and says they have th
advantage of great speed.
UGT3 ALLulIOPU
Jack called me a fcirt"
Not an old hen, I hppe,"
'
