11
LSI LiJJ !!!
rihe
az,irp
03he BEES Suniop BirQiday Book
Undoing of Mr. Uplif f ,pittched bj Co by
nt" LAFATETTK PARKS.
,J
TI1K BEE: OMAHA, TITITluSDAY, A PHIL 27. 1911.
age
V
)
"I see that new woman mayor out In
Hunnewell, Kan., ha apiolntd a woman
if., chief of poll," nbimn Mr. Uplift,
hi. lamp of oil-like wisdom brightly burn
nK. float In for tha dally verbal hunill
ri'. i
' "Oh, very well, Hunnewell, do your
worst. VV'e defy ' y6u!" Bon exclaim,
; Jauntily, exoa valine torch and letting It
V on Tire.
"While 1 am. strongly In favor of women
'i holding off tot." declares Fatber, who la
. aver a cliamplort of tha fair sex, "I have
5 tome doubt a bo at the widom of such an
appointment. I fear aha will have trouble
la maktnf- arrests."
"Where'a th Kink who would kick about
kdng pinched, by a dame?" Son demand
with much display of skepticism. "Be
llav ma, that skirt won't have any trouble
when It comre to running In ua coarse
creature. Ona Word from her and the
boya will eat out of her hand."
"The woman to whom the post was of
fared agreed to take It if she could have a
nwn .aaxlatant," explains Father.
t th hired man do the work," ap
h prove Sort. Their motto seems to be,
3 'Why work when there are mere mm look
ing tor Jobs?" All they want to do I to
draw down the big money and pang the
, back on the rough stuff toll."
! , "One thing- t Certain," affirm Father,
with emphasis; "there won't be any crime
wave so Inns a a woman head the
i police." . -.1
' "The only kind of wave this dame will
give a license to Is the Marcel wave, 1
uppoae," suggests Son. '
"I should like to live in a city with
women police," aver Father, "for I would
feet certain that a bitch moral tone would
be upheld at all times."
"They'd be so high toned," surmises 8on,
"that they would probably refuse to as
sociate with a common econd story burg
lar long enough -to. arrest him. This uplift
gam la all to the good, but I hate to have
to get down my trusty telescope to follow
m."
-' I understand that this woman police
ohlef la going to work . a lot of reforms,"
announce. Father, -
v "That' what they all say when they
first take the Job,", Son volunteer. "She'll
(lad out before she gets through that a
police tore. I some different from the
Salvation Army. Running In the lowbrow
ha no connection whatever with the so
vr
How to Treat
"If there Is one thing more than another
that destroys confidence and trust," said
the Wise Wife, a she toyed with the roses
on tha table, "u J the little white lie of
matrimony, ... . , . . k 1
"Take this spring for instance. I wa
out .shopping with my dearest girl friend
who. bas a, lot more money than she can
possibly spend and who can't understand
why even body, Jir"4 In tha same comfort
able predicament. .. ..-'..
"W. went, to the 'Malson do Something
to look over,. fresh Importation of hats.
The name', sounded suspicious, .and I
S wanted to beat a gracerul retreat, nut
Mary Insisted that my opinion wa vital
to her happiness, so i took a c nance at re
sult.
"Of course, the siren,' who goes by' the
rarae of saleslady, perched a perfect love
of a hat On my head. It wa In my favorite
shades, and when It nestled down In my
hair and dared me not to buy It, I felt like)
the newest Broadway sensation In a society
play, and I half looked it, too.
"Will you believe It? I bought that $60
thing of-fluff and feathers, though I know
Bob was awfully cramped Just now and
that a hospital bill I contracted last winter
needed attention. But It was a love of a
The Difference
Kh wore a pitiful little torn brown coat. ,
The tears were tha sort, that couldn't be
mended, because there wasn't any cloth
thera is mead. There weren't any buttona
either, but the plna that replaced them
were neatly' fastened. No hair ribbons
tied the thick, smooth braids of hair, and
though the tiny collar was of the cheapest
1 kind of lac it wa spotlessly clean.
1 Her thin arm Just reached the trap In
I the street car. Bfore her a solid line of
j man sat with their faces buried In the base
ball soore or the latest newa thrill. If any
OM nad 'lke,i UP' tapped them on the
' shoulder and said they were not American
gentlemen they would have reeented the
insult with their, fist. Yet it remained
for a slip of a girl in pigtails to teach them
lesson In plain courtesy,
VP aisle a, woman of perhaps o odd
years also clung to a str.p. She was
perfectly well and strong looking and ex
pensively droaaed. but she was a woman
not in tar first youth, a fact for which true
gentlemen have a regard.
' The maa sitting in front of the young
girl awoke to realities! enly when the con
ductor called his station, and sven then
he lingered for a last look at the racing
et. The girl quietly threaded her way
Kh tha straphangers to the woman,
here's a seat for you," ah said slm-
1 mas Lave retoAiasd t trifle
late, but her remark were to
pointed."
'What did the say?"
Told me their !eaa w tiffljt ,
to exraVe.
,
TMTO'ca
....
ft M U fcl
to
one wcri rem tCJt.
ciety for the prevention of speaking un
kind words to the aged and Infirm. To
make a hit with the Job. all the cop need
la a strong arm and a stick hard enough
to dent a solid Ivory dome."
"Some time a kind word will Induce a
rough character to move on when a club
falls," murmurs Father.
"Not If the trtnk can get hi hand on a
brick first," Son believe. "A cop, lady or
otherwise, could hand on of these rough
neck a dictionary filled with Soft word
and not get half as much action a a biff
on the bean would bring. My notion of
no way to be a policeman Is to try to
aigue the Job."
"All women have the reputation of being
good talkers," argue Father. "They
ought to be able to convince a lawbreaker
that he I In the wrong." '
"You don't have to convince these boy,"
retorts Son, "they know It. The only way
to talk to them 1 when they are behind
the bars of a neatly furnished cell."
"Just the same," protests Father, In his
most trusting tone of voice. "I'd Ilk to
see New York have some women police,"
"Dear old Broadway has wen bunches of
fly cops In Its day," relates Son, "but It'
ready to sit up ond take notice when the
skirt get on the Job." 1 .
(Copyright, 19U, by the K. T. Herald Co.)
a Husband
"I thought of the hat, t thought of the
hospital bill. I thought of the dear old Bob,
bless htm. Then I went straight home and
told him the whole story, beginning with
the J 90 and ending with the adorable hat.
"What do you think Bob said? Poor lit
tle woman! She's only a girl, after all.
Of course, she must have the pretty; hat
Tea, he did really. - ' '
"What do you . think Rob ..would havoald
If I had fibbed and' he' had found out the
truth later? Why, I wouldn't have risked
losing his trust for alt the hats on the
Rue de la FalxA You see be Is my ohum.
and we share out weak as well as our big
moments. Just because you happen to be
married to a man doesn't bar1 him from
being your friend and confident
"If Tm tired at night from a day's shop
ping I don't blame It on my . housework,
and If I pay 11.60 for a matinee ticket X
don't ay I was Mary's guest for the play.
So contagious Is that practice of trust that
Bob made me this promise of trust that we
have the beat sort of confidential partner
ahip. "Mary say a t go to Bob t heal a scratch
on the little finger of my left" band. If I
do it la because I have found 'it is better
to trust a little than to be unhappy
much.' "
in Two Girls
j
ply, nodding toward th vacant spot in the
newspaper exhibit
"Thank you," said th woman as she
sank gratefully into th indicated space.
One or two of the row of news gulpers
had the decency to look rather ember
rasaed. The little girl merely pulled her
aleeve around so that th frayed edge
wouldn't ahow so plainly.
Across the aisle was a girl of about the
tame age. She waa dressed to- the minute
and wore that simpering air adopted by th
insincere to fool the uninitiated into the
Idea that ahe la sweet With her was her
mother, who carried , several . small and
two large packages, not to mention an um
brella. When they left th car at an up
town station the daughter walked out first
leaving mother and the packages follow.
Shs munched a box of "expensive choco
lates and cat veiled glanoea at a callow
youth of effeminate face aad mannsr a
ah paused out "
la a lady, a lady by reason of her clothes,
or In spite of themt
Trifling With English
J
Elijah's chariot of fire was vanishing In
th dlatanc when the constable arrived.
inai oia cnap s a-niitin' her up at a
high old rate of speed," he said, gaslng
at th distant vehicle. "Any of you fellers
happen to ketch his numberT"
"Nothing doin'," murmured th crowd.
"Have ye got any idee who It wuxT'
asked the constable. '
"Yea," replied a bystander, "it was
old man Elijah."
"Wa-al. I wanter know," ejaculated the
constable, "what's this country cotutn' to
when our vary best folks 11 go an vl'tat
the apeed laws like thaL" Harper's
Weekly.
New Os II lam.
A youth from Calhoun county, Illinois,
which has nothing but steamboat trans
portation went to Elsbery, Mo., the other
day to catch a Burlington train to St. Laia.
He had never seen a train, and when th
Hannibal local cam rolling Is, he stood
there gaping, watched It hlas and steam,
and finally pull out. '
"I thought you wero goln' to St. Louis
en that train?" shouted the station-agent,
thrusting bis head through the window.
I was," answered the youth, "but they
didn't put down the gangplank." St. Louis
puat-Plspatch.
Those who make ducks and drake of
th jlr property are gees ajad Sander a.
, , - ewnaawr. wit H tm rw nm tvww .fiteua a atmi ej at .
rArHXS JCfJ " vn,i ret tint"
"jggrV f 'j
'K-rJj nv Qiv f r i sror jaw ,V
Way of One Man-Do
They strolled Into a fashionable hotel,
making their way toward the luncheon
room, wlier a dairfty table, 'fragrant -with
the flowers she liked best, awaited their
coming.' , ;.'
He stopped a moment to speak to a
friend. The girl walked on, not noticing
she was alone. Her dress was" undeniably,
striking. The skirt had a way of clinging
aad swirling that on more than one. occa
sion had drawn unpleasant attention, but
the girl aeemed rather to enjoy the sensa
tion of being stared at.
A man of perhaps some fifty summers
stood in a recess of the lobby hall as she
passed, looking her over as on would
a prise filly at a horse show. She felt the
steady gase and colored a bit Just then
her companion came hurrying down the
ball to rejoin her. He caught th man
In th midst of the stare and turned sharply
on him. A few hot words passed between
the two and the older man, knowing that
th reprimand was deserved, took It
quietly.
Now comes the Strang part of th story.
Th day after th Incident the young
man Is discovered in a cheaper restaurant
dewntowa, hurriedly snatching a near
luncheon. The girl who asks for hi order
1 refined, her face delicate and her man
ner la reserved to the point of shrinking.
She does net glance at th patrons of the
place, confining herself strictly to trays
and bills of fare.
"Hello, girlie; not mad, are your' ask
th man flippantly as he look up Into her
averted eyes. A shade of weariness passes
over her pale face, but her hands do not
tremble as she pours the coffee In severe
silence.
"My, aren't we the particular party
though T I thought you might like to go
down to J's with me some night"
"My mother is an invalid and I spend
my evenings with her," said the girl sim
ply fixing him with her clear gray eyes.
Lorctta's Looking Glass-Held Up to Girl With
I object t being a promenade for another
woman. It a man walka over me, I can
halt deoetv myaelf into believing that I
am play lug the Interesting role of martyr
to the Inhumanity of him. Bat I cannot
exous or decorate toy service as sidewalk
for a woman. It la Juat an unmitigated
indignity.
And th girl with "inatd Information"
do It with th most perfect success. Shs
walks over other girls with an assurance
that make them thrill with resentment.
Sh Is Just th "dearest enemy" of her sax.
8 tie always knows something about every,
thing that ayobody else know. Tow may be
talking about your own yetooth, with
which yea have lately had the Intimate
and painful association that a . toothache
cult! vats, and sh eaa glv you inside in
formation about It.
It you. bk th freasy et your suffering,
used laudanum, sh tell you a few points
about the Interior of your tooth that de
monstrates the foolishness of the laudanum
treatment Tou Bay have aisoovsred it by
the torturing testimony ot th continued
Yo u Know Him?
"LAsten. Tou don't .expect me to fall for
that Invalid stuff, do yont" asked the
man, laughingly. .The . girl turned'' and
quietly walked to the other side of th
room. Th man believes 'yet If th inci
dent ever flashes across the screen of his
memory, that the girl waa either leading
him on or had a sweetheart who might ob
ject to promiscuous attention. He is on
of those snobs who believe that nothing
can flourish outside the atmosphere of a
drawing room. And h really believes, you
knew, that he Is very much of a gentle
man; enjoys that reputation in the set In
which he moves. But Is a man who- puts
on and takes ff his manners as he
would his gloves qualified to wear that
much abused title of gentleman T
Does caste make courtesy, or does
courtesy make caste t
TaUUaa; Risks.
Yery skeptically tha terrace landlord sur.
veyed the prospective tenant.
"Do you play toot baUT" he grunted.
Th prospective tenant raised his eye
brows and replied In the negative.
"Nor refereet"
"No, nor referee," answered th P. T.
"Whyr
" 'Cos I'm taking no risks," sxplalned
th landlord. "Th last feller that tookJ
this house was a refer. Gave a wrong de
cisloaj. Wa thumped la th back. Swal
lowed the whlatl. After that he couldn't
breathe without shrieking like sn engine.
Kept the neighbors awake all night Had
to give him notice."
"Bad luck on th referee," commented
the P. T.
"I don't know," returned the landlord.
"He got a good Job on a lighthouse. On
foggy nights he puts his head out of the
window and simply breathes. Not enough
to scar a navy oft th rocks. Soft Job."
Ideas.
Enter The Bee's Uooklovera' Contest bow.
ache, but your knowledge Is as nothing
with her inside information. It matters
not what the theme of conversation la. Sh
oaa always reduce the most enthuslastls
linguist to helpless, wrathful, futile, can
kering allenc by offering her Inside In
formation. I always hated her. She made an tell
th biggest "whopper" I ever whopped.
Sh goaded ane to It. And I always hate
th ones who show m how weak I am.
She waa a "stage-struck" as I. And she
read all the dramatic notes In ths baoks of
th ma gas In, too. But sh had her "In
side Information." Bh aired som knowl
edge about an actress I never heard. She
aired Some mora. Th Ignorant and sub
merged rest of us sat on the step and
submitted gracefully to her superior Wis
dom. It became unbearable. Without aa
atom ot compunction, I said I had seen th
actress In a play tor which I shamefully
Invented a nam. I glowed with a now 1
trlumph air. Ths other looked more
cheerful. But do you think the gui with
inside Information wa suppressed? Eh
calmly asserted that ah has seen ths a
trcss la th play for which I lnventsd a
f
How to Judge Distances
J
At thirty yard. sumlng that your
sight Is of th average strength, the white
of a man's eye Is plainly seen, and the eyes
themselves up to eight yards.
At 1M yards all parts of th body are
seen distinctly, slight movements are per
ceptlble, and the details of the dress can
be distinguished.
At SOS yards the outlines of the face are
confused and rows of buttons look like
stripes.
At 400 yards the face is a mere dot, but
all movements of the legs and arms are
suil distinct.
At BOO yards details can no longer be dis
tinguished.
At 800 yards the men In a crowd cannot
be counted, nor their Individual move
ments distinguished.
At L00O yeards a line of soldiers resembles
a broad belt. At 1,200 wards cavalry can be
dlntlnguished from Infantry, and at C000
yards a mounted man usually appears
mere speck.
Lettlasr HI anOff Easy.
"Good morning I ' said th claim agent
cheerfully to the patient with a broken
leg and bead In bandage.
"I have good new for you. Tea, air. The I
oompany feels sorry for you. It is willing I
to forgive and forget."
"Ready to pay about flv thousand?"
N no, not exactly that. But I am au
thorised to sign Its agreement not to
prosecute you for letting yourself get
thrown on the right-of-way and blocking
rush-hour traffic." Exchange,
The Deed that Coast.
Maud Why don't you prefer Harry to
Will? Harry I capable of big deed.
Gladys Yea, but Will wn om. Baltl- I
more American.
A Girl of Promise.
"Isn't Mia Jonea a pretty girl?"
"Not yet. She will be later on.
her aunt's heiress." Llpplncott'a.
She's
Inside Information
asms, but had not liked her so well as In
another and I firmly Believe she Invented
th nam sk gave. What could I do?
Acknowledge that I had lied to get ahead
of her? Acknowledge It when ahe waa al
ready gloating la th affect of her Inside
Information? Never. I Juat I am going
to ua slang because it fits o nearly-
sawed wood for more sidewalk over which
aha might stroll.
I have not an Idea that what I may say
of th enthusiasm of dislike with whleb
ah fire her own ssx will cause th Inside
Information 1st to taend her prevaricating
ways. And I know from experience that
woman cannot get even with her unless
they llrataat every bit of regard for truth
from their feminine concoctions and be
som Saphira. But there 1 on threat
that may be affectively brandished at her.
Men hat bar, too. A normal man 1 suf
ficiently selt-apprectatlv not to enjoy be
ing chronically Instructed by any Ml
Knowall. She may walk over girls, but
sb will not walk away with a man. Is It
any comfort to know that however dis
agreeable she is to her sex, shs Is equally
so t oa? At least. h is net a rival.
Ibis is ke
Lay We
Celebrate.
April 27, 1911.
Name and Address.
William Artuburst, 1809 Ontario St
George Edgar Brunei-, 2722 Fort Omaha
Kmilie Brits!, 2928 South Twentieth St
Nellie BllUt, 2609 Woolworth Ave
Edna Cook, 1214 South Seventeenth 8t.
Wallace Carlson, 2881 Burt St. .'
Helen M. Crawford, 2710 Cuming St
Earl H. Elliott, 4303 Saratoga St
George M. Eselin, 2110 Lake St
Ellen Edqui8t, 312 North Twenty-eighth
Paul Graff, 917 North Twenty-fifth Ave
Frank Hixenbaugh, 6 8 South Nineteenth St High 1896
Marian D. Hansen, 2722 North Twenty-eighth Ave. . Howard Kennedy.. 1898
John Haegen, 2003 Atwood Ave
Harry Howland, 1211 South Fifth St.
Fay V. Irving, 3013 Manderson St
Theron Jefferson, 2202 North Twenty-seventh
Aevid G. Johnson, 132 North Thirty-seventh St Saunders 1901
Leo Kochanowskl, 2825 Walnut St....'
Verna Klrschbraun, 305 South Thirty-eighth
Gardner Kirk, 1451 Phelps St
Mary Kafka, 2586 Walnut St
Goldle Lovelady, 4215 Grand Ave
Sylvia Lovelady, 4215 Grand Ave
Nora McKlnney, 1040 South Eighteenth
Edith Murphy, 2739 South Twelfth Bt
Marjorie -Manley, 3016 Pinkney St
John McCleneghan, Fortieth Stand Poppleton Ave. . Columbian 1902
Dorothy McAllster, 3 So 8 Franklin St High 1894
Theresla Nybbelin, 8124 Lindsay Ave
Barbara A. Robb, 1718 North Twenty-ninth
Herman G. Reinholz, 142 8 Martha St.
May Stenart, 708 South Twenty-sixth
Herbert A. Shultz, 2012 Maple St
Fay Snook, 2821 Dorcas St
Arthur Starkey, 3030 South Eighteenth St Vinton 190.4
Alberta Skonwka, 2711 South Thirteenth 8t Castellar 1902
Augustus Tholshecken, 1502 Military
Ralph Weeks, 1846 Sherman Ave
La Vern I. Winter, 3343 Boyd St
Edith Weberg, 2214 North Twenty-sixth
BeM,e Yun. 22 2 7 South Sixteenth St
y ;
f
Popular Effects
NEW YORKr April J.-The favorite of
all embroideries this summer Is to be the
open English work. Fortunately this em-
hroldery, since it can b worked so much
more rapidly than the fllled-ln patterns,
la not ao expensive as the latter. English
embroidery can also be learned quickly
by the amatenr, and with comparatively
little expenditure of time and labor It Is
possible to make for oneself a most satis
factorily effective bodice.
Blue worked upon a background of white
Is exceedingly smart, and mauve Is an-
other color much In vogue this season. An
attractive gown la fashioned by embroidery
of white batiste embroidered In mauve, the
gown bordered with a deep band ot mauve
colored lawn.
Mauve belt, hat and parasol complete
this charming costume. Occasionally the
gown Is ot white worn over a slip ot pink
or blue that, against ths color, th beauty
of th work may show up with the best
effect
Linen gowns also this summer show a
wealth of English embrrry. For a
X ;V ,
I' ;' - - ..I irJ
RARt, HALT,
121 .fcpencrr Street,
Rehoul. Year.
Vinton lHo
Ave Miller Park 1905
..Vinton 1900
Park .,...1896
. . , . Comenlus ..... . ..1897
WebBtor . .1902
Webster 1R98
Central Park 1900
Luke 1903
Ave Webster 1895
Kelloin 1901
Vinton 1B03
(rear) ...... Pacific 1903
Druid Hill 1900
St.... Long ...1900
1m. Conception. ...1905
St High 1896
Edward Rosewater.1900
Dupont 1899
Central Park 1901
Centrat Park 1901
St. Leavenworth- 1904
Bancroft 1899
Howard Kennedy. .1895
Howard Kennedy.. 1900
St Long . .1896
Comenlus .1898
Ave Mason , 1896
Lothrop 1900
; Dupont 1898
Ave High 1895
Kellom 1894
Monmouth Park... 1900
St. ...... .Long ...1899
Castellar 1904
.
-r-
in New Styles
J-
dark linen gown made quite simply, an
Eton or bolero Jacket of white embroidered
linen makes an effective finish, and this
Jacket can also, of course, serve It turn
with other linen frock In the outfit.
' Striped and plain colored voile is to be '
as' faahlonable for midsummer frock as
for the gowns for city wear during the last
days of spring. Stripes grow wider as the
season advances, but the color and the
white line remains ot equal width. Black
and white la still a popular combination,
and for town, durk bluca and greens with
relief in the broad white stripe are ex
ceedingly (mart. For mourning, black voile
Is an exoellont material, dull In finish, de
llcloualy light and cool in weight
For hot weather voile should be made
on a foundation ot lawn or China silk,
rather than taffeta. It necessary, this
lining can be boned and .fitted as well as ' '
satin or heavy silk.
At thi time ot year mohair . coat and
klrt costume commence to make their 1
appearance, and excellent suits they are
for warm days. Lxep purpl with collar
and cuff of white mohair 1 smart, but
for pure ervlce there 1 nothing to corn
par to navy blue or black, preferably of
a trlped or check pattern. -
For th wool suit of light color- which
must b provided in every summer- out
fit there is nothing more satisfactory In
the long run than a good quality of home
spun of not too heavy weight. White or
a deep cream is perhaps most popular for
this style of dress, but the pale soft tones
of pink, blue, green and lavender shades
quite different from any made up for city
wear are unquestionably smartest.
Hats are undergoing aa interesting trans
formation, which, although slow. Is sure.
Crowns are not so large, brims are de
cidedly smaller, and the hat which nearly
covers the entue head Is not likely to last
throughout the summfr. There la a tend
ency among the newest French hats to be
placed much higher on the head, and it
id even rumored that bandeaux, lifting th
hat up from the hair, are to return to
ugue. ii win De noticed that while a
number of last season's bonnets are possi
ble again this year, they appear much '
Uiger than they did w in a packed away
in the autumn, which goes to prove th
undeniable return of 'smaller shape. Nor
is it necenaary - for th hat to match ex
actly the gown with which It 1 ' worn,
although It mubt, of course, bear reference
to th costume which It complement.
Green hats of all tones, from pal bluish
matrix to most ivid grass color, ar popu
lar for both spring and summer headgear.
Sailor shapue, smalt In diameter, are
seen again with th brim slightly wider
at the back than In front. One quill placed
flat against th right side of the crown
and extending out soma inches beyond ths
hat Itself Is a smart model for a traveling
or shlrt-walHt hat A facing of black vel
vet will make almost any hat becoming If
the color la too vivid against the face. For
dresa hats, uncurled ostrich feathers ar
much in evidence.
Th figure shows a charming little frock
with on ot th new gathered hip yokes.
Th bodice Is quite plain, In peasant style,
with a collar and revere of lace. Buttons
and braid finish th closing outline.
A Very Partlresiar Aetor.
"I can't get a leading lady for Tories; '
Hamm."
"Plenty of competent actresses to be
had."
"Yes; but he ha hi peculiarities. Won't
act with anybody he has ever been dl
. lwH-Oau Tribune,
