TT1F. TVBE: OMAITA, "WEDNESDAY, AFITTL 2fi, lfU.
13
She BEES cfrmior Birthday Book
Dottie Dialogues
Nothing Sphinxlike in This Melange
of Spring Talk.
f WAL.TEH A. SINCLAIR.
J
.he
"And so the Mphynx waxn't a tornin,"
exclaimed Dnttle, to make talk.
"Naturally, seeing It kept allciira for
thousands of years," I retorted.
"Meaning men always keep a wcret?"
he demanded unbelievingly.
"Why, only a few Vackn ago a man
editor aald he'd go to Jail before he'd tell
who told him." I offered.
"Men ought to be put In Jail for being so
Close mouthed." she asserted.
"Men belong to the six beat sellers," 1
Chortled.
"I suppone a man who declared he
wouldn't ear a word wouldn't even pro
nounce hie own sentence," she murmured.
"He could, serve hia fine out quicker by
keeping silence, because silence Is golden,"
t explained. "But don't feel so bad be
causa the 8phlnx turned nut to be the
Image of a man."
"A Pphynx can go S.000 years without
talking, but who'd be a SphynxT" she
paraphrased.
"The head was carved from a knob of
natural rock." I added.
"How lifelike," she exclaimed.
"Man doesn't throw words around care
lessly," I declared; ''ha, puts them under
over."
"Hupose you mean NoaJi Webster?" she
Inferred. "Wall, you, at least, don't have
to do much talking."
"How true," I admitted, "nut why?"
"That suit makes enough noise for you,"
he criticised.
"What? This little spring peom of a
eultT" I cried. Indignant.
"You could be Indicted," she observed,
oldly. S
"And whyr quoth I.
"For circulating a bad check," she ex
plained, gaxlng at my snappy suitings for
snappy people.
"It's an indorsed check I Indorsed It," I
defended.
"I hadn't looked at the back." she re
sponded. 'Speaking of checks Isn't there a draft
In the roorat" I demanded.
"I don't auppose you would honor It,"
he replied.
"Friend of mine In the suburbs has started
his garden again," I Informed. "I saw him
going for the train loaded with a garden
kit."
"Should think he'd feur the kit would
scratch up the garden," she objected.
"There won't be any catnip in his gar
den," I asHiired.
"What's he planting?" she aked.
"Oh, 'broken bottles, weeds, tin cans and
sticks," I added carelessly.
"How absurd," ehe exclaimed In disgust.
"Who ever heard of anyone planting such
things?"
"Well, he'H original .and expects It's a
poor rule that won't work two ways," I
diagrammed. Last year he planted pennies,
roses, geraniums, lettuce, asparagus and
tomatoes, and he got a swell crop ot
broken bottles, weeds, tin cans and sticks.
So this year he's going to see If It re
verses." "I suppose he spends his leisure time
spading his garden;" she surmised, "or
does he call a spade a spade?"
"Sure, but I wouldn't tell you what he
called the hoe when he stepped on it and it
flew up to smite his nose," I hinted.
"I don't believe spring makes one so
lasy," she Insisted. "Now if the Imagina
tion you took to concoct that silly story
had been directed to some useful ob
ject" "Say no more," said T, hastily stepping
over and sitting down beside her. "The
most useful object In sight and orna
mental." (Copyright, 1911, by the N. T. Herald Co.)
r-
Tabloid History of the, Presidents
William Henry Harrison, ninth president
of the United States, was a son of Benja
min Harron, the signer of the declaration
of Independence, and the grandfather of
another Benjamin Harrison, who became
the twenty-third president. William Henry
Harrison was born In Virginia on . Feb
ruary 8. 177S.
He was himself a splendid Indian fighter,
and during the war of 1813 It waa his bril
liant leadership at the battle ' of the
Thames, following Immediately after
Perry's victory on Lake Brie, which gave
the United Btatee the possession of the
chain of lakea above Erie and put an end
to the war 'In uppermost Canada.
In 181V he waa elected to the senate of
Ohio, and In 1822 waa a candidate for con
gress. He waa defeated, however, because
ef his vote against the admission of Mis
souri with the restriction prohibiting
slavery In ttuVt state. Ha waa a presi
dential elector In 1834 and became a United
States senator that same year.
lie resigned from congress In 1828 to
accept the post of minister to the United
Hates of Colombia, an appointment made
by President John Qulnoy Adams. Ho was
recalled by President Andrew Jackson and
retired to his farm at North Bend, Ind.
Here he was living quietly when In 1835
several states nominated him for presi
dent, but Martin Van Buren received 170
votes against hia seventy-three. Four
yeara later, at the national whig conven
tion, ho was nominated, with John Tyler
of West Virginia as vloe president Martin
Van Buren waa renominated.
The succeeding election waa one of the
most exoltlng and picturesque in the hia-
L J
KltHAKEQOl
tory of the country. It Is remembered as
"The Log Cabin and Hard Cider cam
paign," because of the fact that part of
General Harrison's home was the log
cabin built by an earlier settler in Ohio,
and that Harrison's "tahle. inateuri n
being covered with exiting wines, was
wei: supplied with the best cider."
Harrison won the day. Hie new cabinet
was chosen with commendable judgment
and a successful administration waa an
ticipated. On April 4. 1841,. Just one month
after his Inauguration, however, the presi
dent died, a victim of pneumonia.
A he lay on his deathbed the dying
preaident,bnaglnlng that he waa address
ing hisysuocesnor. exclaimed: "Sir, I wish
you to understand the principles of the
government. I desire them carried out
nothing more!"
(Copyright, 1911, by the N. T. Herald Co.)
Instrumental.
"Have re heard me daughter. Bona, sing
lately T" asked Mr. Dugan.
"Both" lately and early," saldMr. Hogan.
" 'TIs fine instrumental rausio sin do
make." .
"Ye ignoramus. Bure, singing Isn't In
strumental music!" Indignantly replied Dit
gan. "Kegan told me It was instrumental In
causing- hire to move two blocks from yer
house."
Chen J' Hoar.
"You've got a pretty lot of cltlsena to
allow themselves to be charged at the rate
of five cents a mile from here down to
the Junction on a miserable one-horse
branch road," said the shoe drummer, bit
lngly. "I'd like ter call yer attention ter one
fact before you go on usln' any more seoh
language," answered the ticket agent,
camljr. " and that is. that while It may be
five cenU a mile. It a only thirty-five cents
an hour." Post
It All DfMla.
An aoter and a retired arm
discussing the perils of their respective
callings.
"How would you like to stand here with
hella bursting around you?" the general
demanded.
! (GRACIOUS'" Df AR'" ' X IT HrEsTVl'M MJRE HE i NOT HURT1 HIS' )
(50 SEND FOR A I ET7 DOCTOR SYSTEM. PERHAPS. HAS RECEWfO
j DOCTOR QUICK jy B(JT (A SHOCK. PUT THATS AU! fes1.
: m hurt! come S V? see TrTS J
j here an' Help . s J; how f yxJL
jWME! JAM HURT . PALE ,w V'" V VX
! BADLY! OH' DEAR I HE ' lsC S':r X
! SEND FOR A , I ARE t
: Ldooorj Quick L t I l&g pyf A A
1 S Sf MAN JAKE1 ? kA m sJ"1 PA'NFUl FRAC- '
w TDTOO' You 7S ' X O 'rJJti-501E WAYS IT 4S
ir x-M L4TT 1 HAVE A BA!
' ly right . you cakJt s WrO. llY?"MysT
; 'Til (get upwjwE.j I v Sr JlzhgV
d ill
(JSfb ly.P HAND ME1
?,u-. IMN GO AND
P "YTVJAKt IS. I AM WO.
UsT.lrf y ABOUT HIS CHORtO
v-vTr(0SE CHORES MUiT
' y
17 7
t7i
J I WfU, PROMISE Vjfv
I ME YOU WONT I .!
. GET UP! DO . tn.A)
no
i
...
OH'. YOU ARE AU
IKISHT.' YES. WELL
I'M GLAD BECAUSE
MR- SJAU. WAS
WORRIED ABOUT
YOUR. CHORES!
BUT. YOUR ARE
DOING THEM 1
SEE! MR..SYALL
1 IKl A Rin
LCONDiTiOj
Sophie's Sayings
Riches may not bring
neither does poverty.
happiness, but
When a man doea anything he Is sorry
for he falls back on the old Adam's apple
excuse. " -
The eyes are the windows of the soul, but
sometimes the glass Is smoked.
Affinity only earns Its name after the
test of apprenticeship In the realm of realism.
Anticipation is the elixir of love, realize'
tlon the bitter sweet, and retrospection
the bad taste. '
For a girl a man's automobile stands be.
tween him and his shortcomings.
When personalities creep In love crawls
out.
Borne spirits of philanthropy have
bate attachment oaupitterlty.
a re-
Nubs of Knowledge
Ibis is he
Day We
Celebrate
April 26, 1911.
i m
ANNlPi R JENKINS.
1M Uinney street.
Xnie and Addiens. ' SlirKl. Year.
Alice Altmami, 1813 Willla Ave Lake 18
KnJl W. Bloom, 4321 California St Saunders 1889
Gladys H. Bruner, 3401 Pecatur St Franklin 1898
Charles Bufcbee, 2524 Poppleton Ave Tark 1898
Ilnielda Brenchert, 4154 Chicago' St Saunders 1905
John Brlnner, 1418 Westerfleld Ave St. Joseph ...1903
George A. Conkllng, 3036 Meredith Ave y. .Monmouth Park?:. .1905
Clifford Cedarholm, 4011 Charles St Walnut Hill 1900
Adel Davla, 1314 Cuming 8t Cass 1901
Edward J. Erath, 1219 South Eleventh St Lincoln ....1894 .
Pearl Ettleman, 8118 South Twenty-first St Vinton 1901
Leah Fllvlnsky, 1920 South Tenth St Lincoln 1901
Clara L. French, 2874 Maple St..., Howard Kennedy. . 1 905
Ralph Ford, Forty-eighth and Seward Sts Walnut Hill 1896
..Boals 1904
..Train 1903
..High 1895
..Vinton 1900
..Vinton 1894
Marie Gutszher, 4671 Marcy St
Jamea Groves, 2613 Reea St
Rachel Hager, 4510 North Thirty-fourth Ave.
Lulu Hanelsen, 2315 South Central Boulevard.
Walter Hoye, 2010 Oak St..' ,
Llllle Hofman, 2428 South Eighteenth St yVinton ...1898
Charllene Johnson, 4327 Grant St C Clifton Hill 1899
. Lothrop 1900
.St. Patrick 1904
In Borneo elongated ear lobea are consid
ered sj' mark of beauty.
Italy's colon leg equal twice her own stse,
those of Germany tl"e times her slse.
The Nelson mounument In Trafalgar
square, London, was erected at a oost of
1246.000.
The longest span of wire in the world is
(,000 feet in length. It la used for a tele
graph in India, running over the River
Keltnah.
The deepest gold mine In the world is at
Qenldigo, in Australia. Its main shaft is
sunk to a depth of S.900 feet, or nearly sixty
feet short of three-quarters of a mile. ,
A novelty In pawnshops Is to be found In
Ichang, China.' The town contains a small
pawnshop in a magistrate's office, run by
the prisoners. The rate of Interest Is about
S farthings per la 6d per month, except
during the last three months of the year,
when It Is reduced to about M penny.
The king and the queen ot England re
ceive $2,350,000 in annuities from the Britlnh
people for their support. The king re
ceives other revenues which amount to
about $600,000 a year.
The farmer la regarded as the longest
lived American. Ills life avarages 64 years.
Lawyers average 62.8; merchants, 48; me
chanics, 47; seamen, 46, and laborers, 44 6-
In the metropolis of London there Is an
average of one policeman to every 424
people.
Annie B. Jenkins, 1921 Blnney St
Joseph Kemmy, 1615 Oak St
Hazel E. Laven, 3343 Meredith Ave Monmouth Park.. .1903
Madallne Morgen, 2620 North Twenty-fifth St Lake 1903
Vincent Musgrave, 1904 Ohio St Lake 1902
Nels C. Nelson, 3229 Maple St , Howard Kennedy. . 1898
Mildred Nlcklas, 3012 South Eighteenth St CaBtellar 1902
Lillian O'Connor, 3316 Miami St Howard Kennedy.. 1895
Ervln Robinson, 2825 Cass St Webster 1904
Dorothy Ronk, 3423 Mason St f Columbian 1903
Allan D. Ryan, 2756 Lake St Sacred Heart 1901
Margaret Staines, 2218 Leavenworth St Mason 1899
John Swanson, 831 South Twenty-second St High 1894
Elmer Samler, 1914 CaBtellar St CaBtellar ........1898
Bella Smith, 1504 North Twenty-fourth St.. Kellom 19Q0
KgroJlne Schuman, l4l0 William St Comenius 1895
Dewey Schuman, 131 South Twenty-fifth St Central 1899
George Sherman, 3302 North Thirtieth St Howard Kennedy.. 1900
Ralph W. Seals, 3308 Blondo St Franklin 1899
Florence Stinaon, 2464 South Twentieth St Castellar 189$
Albert Seseman, 6302 North Sixteenth St.... Sherman 1905
Joseph Thorp, 2020 Valley St. Vinton '. .1903
Lonl Terrell, 3303 South Twenty-fourth St Vinton 189T
Margaret Werrebroeck, 2622 Hamilton St Long 1896
Elbert Wahlstrom. 2823 Cass St ...Webster 1896
Eva V. Wahlstrom, 2823 Cass 8t Webster 1896
Oustaf Wickstrom, 1521 North Nineteenth St. ..... Kellom 1897
, , . , , I
Leaned entekly.
An old country woman asked a young
lady, "How long have you been learning
the planot"
"Two years," waa the reply.
"My, what a time!" exclaimed the old
dame. "Our Jock got a gramophone an'
he could play It off the first shot"
Soul mates are not always sole mates.
Sophie Irene Loeb In Pittsburg Dispatch.
Oatmeal for Gloves.
Oatmeal ia a sate remedy, for soiled
suede gloves in white, pale tan or gray
shades. To clean the gloves draw them an
and plunge the hands in a small basin
of oatmeal, rubbing them well, especially
the finger tips, the knuckles and the wrist
with the meal, and scrubbing the more
soiled portions , with a clean nail brush.
Finally, they should be dusted with a piece
of soft flannel. Wash leather gloves re
quire yellow soap and water, the latter
warm, but not too hot. They should be
dried on the hands or on wooden trees, In
the sun or close to the fire. Like flannels,
the quicker they dry the better.
A Carefel Lover,
"Then this." asked the rejected suitor,
'Is absolutely final?"
"Quite!" waa the calm reply. "Shall
return your letters?"
veil, replied the actor. "It all deoenda "There's om. v.r t.i . ...
- - - "...uti.i ,u 1 11 0 1 II
I can use again." Tit-Bits.
ea the age of the egg.'
f Loretta's Looking Glas s-Holds it Up to the Girl Who Giggles
SiMOW
The roaa with you was embarrassed and
' Indignant. Bo were some of the rest of
ua who happened to be vlaiUng the national
brine. Tour laughter could not hurt the
hero burled there, but it did hurt several
things scarcely leas Important. It hurt
the man's ideal ef you. Yet, I'll wagnr
that you laughed without any deep thought.
Teu war not trying to ahow tiiat you
ridiculed a 'national Ideal. Probably you
would have flushed and your nice brown
eyes would have blaaed with anger If you
had auapected that you were blamed with
cash irrejvereaoe. 1 feel perfectly euro that
yea levughea at some trivial tning mat waa
pixkably connected with something that
occurred before you entered the sacred
alinee.
But the man did not like your laughter.
And we could not know what prompted It.
o our heart leaped up aa they might have
done If Svne fvretgaer bad seemed to un
lerveJue what waa precious to our country.
ou cannot afford to lessen the eacred
neea of objects or of places that are shrines
to many people. It Is a girls dearest
privilege to stand for the best always.
That Is what women are for. And every
time you fail to do it, you. lessen your
own valuty I cannot help wondering if
that man with you waa your lover. And
does he love you now aa well aa before
you laughed there? Or Is there a sense
of disappointment In you to weaken his
regard? I wish 1 knew.
There ta a queer, weird place in the
erypt under the cathedral at Bremen. Hun
dreds of years ago a workman busy on the
tower fall and was killed. Hia body was
placed In the cellar and forgotten. Forty
years after It was found, still retaining
an appearance of such llfelikeneae that
everyone waa amused. Now there are five
other bodies there, all preserved by some
property of the place. The sun and air
enter the small windows. Yet birds and
rabbit huug there by scientists never de
compose. Besides the mystery ot death
and It aacrednesa, there la a great eoleatl
fio mystery baffling all the scientist of
the world.
And I saw an American girl deliberately
"punch" the pillow on which a Swedish
couiMee rested, juar'to aee 'If It waa aoft."
W can talk about our national sens
of humor and make it serve for a whll
aa a cover for our Irreverence. We did uc
ceed In fixing that idea of us la the minds
of foreigners. But we cannot deceive our
aelvea all the time. And. more especially,
girls cannot deceive men. Men want to
love women who love the holy, noble, good
things. And glrla who go round to tomb
giggling and insist on punching their um
brella Into the coffin of the respected
dead, are going to meet some dreary ex
perience If they do not reform, leu van.
not laugh at the good and the great is thu
.world -end get husband that have either
quality.
I THINK I V u 7 I , - , " 3T
WILL GO OUTJM WHAT A BEAUTIFUL f
IN THE (fi Tv ISUNNV PAY! f Jj
tsJoH! SPRING j . j.
S7k irt18 conE' (I WILL JUST) f
SO TlRtTD, 1 v . (MY GOODNESS !V .
h HAV6 WALKED -AU.J 'VG BEEN WALtONs) f I
THg MORmNGyr Lin my szz&yp k (
7 r (si mon ! wakeJ 3pft&j2)
x VHi A )0 UP ! WHAT Xl Tfcfl r..,
DOING if K3oSB
WHARC) Bg
r
The Baby Brother i
Utle Lve sat upon her father's knee
and held hisb!g watch in her hands, while
he stroked her curls and told her how
much he loved tier; but little L,ove said
never a word, although she winked hard
and now and then her lips trembled.
Father drew her close and hugged her to
him and said: "What alls my dearie?
Tell father all about It."
Then It came out with a rush of words,
half sad, half angry.
"Mother was lost all day," she orled,
"Grandmother said she would be back
Boon, but soon didn't ooms. I waited ana
waited all afternoon by the window, until
it grew dark and then I cried for her.
Grandmother took me upstairs and there
waa mother In her bed and a strange
pretty lady In a white dress. The strange
lady brought me a bundle and showed m
a queer little doll that squealed."
"1 It yours?" I asked the strange lady.
"No," she said. "It Is' your little
brother."
"I don't want any brother," I said.
"There's father and mother and me, and
that' enough. Take it away. You go up
and send It away, father."
"Uttle Love," raid father. "If you wilf
let the baby brother stay, he will grs up
and be very nice to play with, and mother
will let you rock him and hold him, Just
like the doll babies."
"Will mother rook me and hold me, to,",
asked Little Love.
"Yes, indeed," said father, "and so
shall I."
Uttle Love smiled, "lie may stay," she
aid.
Pell Down oa Latin.
H waa a British worklngman. and he
had so many children that ho used to call
the rol btXore the Sunday dinner to make
sure that they were all there. Ill wife
was bringing In the steaming joint; it wa
time to begin:
" 'Erbert!" he cried.
"'Ere, pa!"
" 'Orace!" ,
"'Ere, pa!"
" 'Exekiah!"
Ere, pa!"
"Bneryl"
" 'Enery," who had Just begun to study
I-atln, decided to show off his learning.
"Adauml" he bawled.
For a few momenta hia father regarded
him with baleful eyes.
"Oh, you've 'ad some, 'av yer?" he
growled at last "Weil, you Jlt git away,
then, an' make room fur them aa ain't!"
' Onet on UrCslrkeen,
Ueorgo Barr MuCutoheon waa waiting for
a train In Chicago, and as he passed
through the station he saw one of his latest
best seller displayed on the newsstand
counter.
He picked It up, wrote his name on the
flyleaf and handed it to the boy behind
the counter. He waa moving away wbea
the boy railed excitedly:
"Hey, mister, v come back here. You've
got to buy this book, 'cause you've spoiled
it by writing your name in it."
"Yes. but did you see the name?" th
author asked.
"That doean't make no difference." th
lad InMbted, "nobody' want to buy It
now."
And bearing Ma train rsllod Mr t.
Cutcheon waa forced to nav rui .
for ens f hia own book.
OWn krw.L. '
mi r
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