11
fjjThe ee$ necagaziie f)a
I Rflhe BEE3 Junior Bipfhday Boot
i Her Husband's Voice A rew Eemark 011 the 7
I . . bt a kerb man. of the Feminine Intuition.
1
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THR BEE: OMAHA. TUESDAY, A PUTT 25. 1011.
I
Twenty-four. , houra had elapsed since
Woof-Woof, trie' Anfel Collie, had shaken
''the dust - of . Mowntainville from his win
I during pawi.
The Amsieur,' Wife ws didstracted with
1 (trf and worry.
The Pott Graduate Husband, with an air
of exaggerated. Indifference, had returned
from several fruitless Jotirneys to neiKh
bbrlng hamlets In quest of the. household
favorite.'
Cp 011 street, and down another he had
travelled wn foot vainly whistling and
railing for .ths variixhad Woof-Woof.
Meantime titer Amateur Wife had railed
up every pound and police, station within
a radioua of twenty miles.
In answef to one of. her walling appeals
a practical police captain at the other end
of the. telephone had' suggested to the
Amateur Wife that she advertise her loss.
And "much to the Post Graduate Hus
band's disgust she had promptly called up,
not only the 'local newspapers, but also
all the papers in the, nearest metropolis,
proclaiming the family bereavement to the
world at the rate of jo cents a line.
Next day 'ehe went to town to order a
new dress, but that occasion, ordinarily of
the most feetlv character, did not lighten
her mournful mood.
It waa still an Inconsolable young woman
that dropped In at the I'ost Graduate Hus
band's office late In the afternoon to give
him the opportunity of accompanying her
home,
"There Is no news from our doggie," she
announced sadly. "1 have called up the
house ait timet today to 'ask If any one
had brought him back,' but the maid has
hsard nothing." ' '
"You telephoned the "house sU times!"
exclaimed the .Post Graduate Husband Id
horrified accents. - "That makes II. M In
telephone calls! 'And all for that good for
tinthln TnuM" '''.' I
The consciousness that be had called up
five times himself and' that the maid might
mention his, Inquiries . prevented him from
saying more. ...-. '
A gloomy silence reigned between the
usually cheerful cduple till some moments
after their, train, pulled out of Hoboken.
Then the: AmateurWIfe, Who had bought
half a floien, 'Jersey parlfcrs to see her ad
vertisement in. print, gave sudden gasp.
"He's found I He's found! Oh, I know
he's found; "ust tad this:" she said ex
citedly. ,A . " .'
Her bun band took the paper she tremb
lingl extended. ' ' . ' '
legs and tall; dark, bro.wr( body. 13. Allard,
i;7 Cooper,. : , ,, ,,',.,.. .,
"Don't you t JiUt i know , that's Woof-
"J J.junt know. .' It's' not!?;, answered the
Pont . Graduate .., ,,Iiubad, Irritably.
'Haven't Yon any 'Common sense?' Do you
think. .our, dog,, has Arvfile4 . fifteen miles?
How many sollles do. syou' suppose . are
owned In' a ' triwn -of' (00.000 Inhabitants?
km y
YOU WISEEABLE MUTrS,
tXOAIMED HER. HUSBAKP .
How many of them get lost every day?
Don't be foolish! If you think I'm going
to miss my dinner to get off and hunt for
that dog you are very much mistaken!"
It was exactly what his wife thought,
but she did not say so.
"I don't see how you can think of eating
your dinner!" she protested, tremulously,
"when my poor little collie may be starved
or beaten or locked up In a cellar! How
can you say you love me when you won't
do a little thing like that?"
Tears shone on her lashes tears lurked
In her breaking voice.
"Oh, I'll go. 111 go!" exclaimed Her
Husband, In a panic, "but I think It's a
fool's errand."
So they left the train at the Intermediate
station designated In the advertisement
and for an hour cold, hungry and appre
hensivewere lost in the mazes of an aleln
city.
At last they found the address they
sought.
An elderly German woman admitted
them to an unpretentious flat.
And there, curled up before the kitchen
range, with an air of peaceful, affectionate
content he had never worn as the most
pedigreed animal In Mountalnvllle, waa
Woof-Woof, the Angel Collie!
With a slightly bored air and with a very
casual wag of the tall, Woof-Woof arose
to greet his master and mistress. .
But with a glad cry the Amateur Wife
ran toward him.
"Oh. Woofle, you poor little baby collie!"
she sobbed, and threw her arms around
his neck.
"You miserable mut!" the Post Graduate
Husband exclaimed, glaring ferociously- at
the dog. '
Then. to. his wife. he said triumphantly:
"I told you we'd get our dog back!" .
(Copyright, 1911. by the N. Y, Herald Ct)
'l TabMiJ5istofy..'ibf the .Presidents. ,,L
Andrew Jackson, ""bom In a log cabin
-
Hear the dividing Una of the Carollnaa, be
came fhe seventh president of the United
States." ; ' -
Jackaon Is. one of the most picturesque
figure kn American history. His educa
tion was gained at a country school and
was so scant that he never learned to write
English correctly. He could always use It
forcibly,' however.
In early Ufa he studied, law and sowed a
plenteous crop of wHd oats. 'He never
had a legal tons of mind, but In those
primitive, days a little legal knowledge
went a great way. and Jackson practiced
In Tennessee In the days when In the
neighborhood of KashvlHe the Indiana on
;n average murdered one white man every
i-n days.. ' '
It was here that Jackson gained the ex
' ferlenca that afterward earned fame for
Mm as an ' Indian fighter. Tils brilliant
Mctory at New Orleans In the War of 1812
trought him added reputation. The Eng
lish general was ' slain,' 2,000 of his men
tilled, wounded, or, taken prisoners, while
Jackson's forces lost only seven, by death,
svlth six ,mer wounded.
J Jackson auceeded John Qulncy Adams
after a presidential, campaign of bitter
ftwllng. He was Inaugurated In 1829, and
In his first annual message to congreaa
,J look grounds against the renewal of the
charter of the Vntted fUatea bank. Not
withstanding congress passed a bill In
to recharter ' It. Jaokson vetoed the
H)(aiic?igca
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F
K
IT
ihis is the L
Day We
Celebrate
April 25, 1911.
Name and Addrees. School. Year.
Dora Allen. S80 Dodge St Karnam 1903
Olga Anderson 2?9 Pacific St Mason ..........1899
Robert R. Beaton, Gianfleld, Kan High 189 4
C)are Lee Baird. 4724 North Fortieth St -..Central Tark 1905
Mia Bullls, 2631 Sahler St Saratoga 1897
Ruth Bush, 3910 North Seventeenth St Lothrop 1900
William D. Bowser, 113 South Twenty-fifth Ht Central 1891
Earl Brown, 2420 Decatur St Long ...1900
Rudolph Bott. No. 3 Ivy Apartments...;.'. Lake 1902
Carl Edwin Carlson, 8003 Jackson St Farnam 1896
Edwin Clark, 3824 Grand Ave Central Park 1899
"...
-'ie.-.'.W
WILLIAM J. HYNKS. J II.,'
1816 Harney Street.
if"
Way of a Wise Woman With a Man
Nubs of Knowledge
ANDREW OACKSON
bill and the bank ceased to be a national
institution when the charter expired.
' The tariff law of 1S28 caused much dis
satisfaction In the cotton growing states,
and the feeling- lncreaued, although 'In
isa2 an act was passed removing some of
the duties on foreign goods.
A convention In South Carolina declared
these tariff acts unconstitutional, and
therefore void, and proclaimed that If any
attempt was made to collect the dutlea the
state would secede. Jackson promptly sent
General Boott to Charleston and issued a
proclamation against the nulltflers. His
aggressive policy won the day. A com
promise waa passed providing for . gradual
reduction of duties and quiet as restored.
(Copyright, 1911, by the N. Y. Herald Co.)
How'Charles Was Reformed
"I used to 'think," confided the Wise
Wife, "when Bob came home all tired and
hot and grimy, after bucking the business
bread line down town, that it was up to
me to be scintillating and say a lot of
brilliant things, whose hidden paints could
be fathomed only by a searchlight men
tality. '
"Now' 1 know the sweetest muslo to
dulled, thrumming ears Is the unspoken
word. I remenber having been a trifle
hurt at having my carefully planned witti
cisms and exuberant spirits greeted with
two lines between Bob's eyes and a sigh,
or at most a painful 'yes' or 'no.'
"Now I wonder how he could have been
so patient with my mistaken efforts, and
why he didn't come right out in the open
and tell me to cease my wearisome chatter.
To be really kind and thoughtful nowa
days," the Wise Wife went on, "I say less
and do more. I'm not piqued when Bob
doesn't make violent love to me In the
hallway, because I know he has been try
ing to win for me the pretty things I wear,
the pleasures I enjoy, the home I live In.
And the effort has left him temporarily
devitalised. So I rush around to have his
bath Just the Tight temperature and bis
fresh clothes all laid out. When he sits
opposite me at dinner wi .h most of the
tired lines brushed from his face, his eyes
all tender with the Joy of being borne, love
doesn't . need any demonstrations.
"There Is such a thing aa talking at a
man instead of to him," the Wise Wife
Ones' lipbn a 'time thnre was a boy who
Jiad lived to .be lil years old without leani
ng to be good or wise or kind.
One of his bad habits was to fancy that
a-ery asnall : boye ft ad dune . something
vrong to him and to chase them until they
were so frightened at the prospect of being
Caught, they weuld call out tor help. Like
all cowards he would "then- turn backward
nd run away as fast as he could. A
Charles was chartng a poor little, fellow he
was taken sudaealy tritb the queerest feel
ng. quite like seasickness. This lasted for
about a minute, when, behold, there was
bo more Charles, "only a little 'gray mouse
TOO MUCH
'' ''
blinking Its eyes in the middle of the road.
But. O my goodness! What was that
lylcg down the road? A great gray cat.
On It came and It seemed as big as a tour
ing car to the little mouse, who took to Its
heels with all possible speed.
If the chase of the cat after the mouse
had been In a city, with houses close to
gether, pcrhapa It would not have lasted
so long. But the long country road offered
no place for the mouse to run where the
cat might not follow.
Presently the mouse wss so exhausted he
toppled over In the road and lay there. In
a twinkling the cat was upon him and he
had the seaslcknt-rs feeling again. Then ail
of a audden there was bo more mouse.
Charley lay In the dusty road and there
was no more cat. only a very small fairy,
who said:
"I turned you Into a mouse, Charley, to
teach you a lesson. If you do not profit
by It I shall pay you another visit."
And Charlie promised to be good and
has been ever since
Illah-Prleed Art.
The Indignant cltlxen was freeing his
mind.
"You want eenta for admission to this
motion picture show, do youT" he ex
claimed. "Thafa an Infernal outrage." ,
Look here, mister," aald the man at
the box office, "this Is no ordinary enter
tainment These pictures cost a small for
tune. Tbey show two men taking a dinner
together. One of them Is eating a porter
house steak and the other Is getting awey
with a plate of bacon and eggs." New
York Evening Mail.
Bur Freddie, I dco't tin
yiAu need to be so heart broken be
cause the jilted you."
"It isn't tbe Jtltio. X mind, but
she returned the ring in ptuftl
.CUxi, with car.-
Aaalest Orders.
The Lady It's funny, but fre worked
In this railroad office three weeks now,
aad I haven't seen any ef the men wear
ing these steel ties I've read about. Maybe,
because they art bard to tie? Erie Kail
road Uagastaa
continued. "It's the very worst variety of
wifely talk. Certain little fads and some
big Ideas are so firmly fixed In Bob's mind
that nothing less than a bomb -would dis
lodge them. With soms I am In sympathy.
The others I regard as fallacies, but I am
much too fond of Bob to Irritate him by
nagging. Besldea, he may be right and I
wrong. Personal liberty has Just as much
place In the home aa In the world outside.
"When Boh remarks that Jones' wife Is
a mighty fine looking woman and that a
wife made of that sort of stuff must be a
gteat help to a blundering dolt like Jones,
1 smile and ask him If he wouldn't like a
second helping of planked steak. The
smile la engenedered by the remembrance
that only yesterday Bob called Jones' wife
a frump and said she waa driving poor
old 'Jonesy' to the wall with her senseless
extravagance. The suggestion of the seo
ond helping Is Inspired by my love for Bob.
"As a home maker an ounce of sane si
lence Is worth a pound of talk any day."
J
Head of Health Army.
Miss Ellen La Motte waa appointed a
tuberculosis nurse In Baltimore five years
ago. When the work was taken over by
the city health department she waa made
nurse In charge. She haa fourteen nurses
under her direction, who make about 200
visits a day. The work Is thorough as
well as extensive. Miss La Motte Is a
graduate of Johns Hopkins Training school
for Nurses.
Said to be the largest tree trunk In the
world Is that of a tree at Hltla, Mexico
which measures 146 feet In girth.
The motor of -a new motorcycle Is car
ried within, the rear wheel Instead of on
the frame.
The German village of Remborn has
linden tree which Is said to be more than
1,200 years old.
Small tonga, resembling Ice tongs, have
been Invented by a New York man for
carrying bowling balls.
By the addition of magnssla and an
oxide an extremely elaetlo glass has been
brought out tn Franoe.
Arizona, California, New Mexico, Utah
and Washington materially Increaaed their
production of silver last year. ,
King George of England can trace his
ancestry back more than 800 years.
The United States Is esUmated to con
tain 1M.O00 square miles of coal beds. The
combined coal supply of the world Is cat
culated to last 1.000 years.
New Orleans has the largest death rate
among the largest cities In the United
States. The percentage of deaths there to
every 1,000 of the Inhabitants Is 20. t This
Is a decrease of 14 per cent compared with
five years ago.
Alaska, New Mexico and South Carotin
, are the only places In the country where
marriage licenses are not necessary In
order to wed. Marriages between white
and Chinese are void In California, Arizona,
Mississippi, Oregon and Utah.
.Holy Family..
.High
.Miller Tark..
.Central Park.
Columbian . .
.St. Joneph 1903
.Windsor 1902
.Edward Rosewater.1901
Saratoga 1900
.1902
.1892
.1901
.1904
, .1905
Laurel M. Clark, 1812 Paul St
Clarenoe E. Eddy, 2206 Wirt St
Elvln Edglngton, 6317 North Twenty-sixth St..
Edith Greenwood, 4431 North Forty-drat St. . ! .
William Joseph Hynes, 3816 Harney St. ...
Freddy Hartung, 2412 South Eighteenth St....
Norman Harris, 2924 Valley St
Edward Hale, 3135 South Fifteenth St
Everett Henry, 4403 North Twenty-fifth St....
Sylvia Hort, 2315 South Fourteenth St Caatellar 1902
Homer Ingram, 122 Pine St Train 1902
Uenevieve Jones, 3912 North Twenty-thlr-l St Lothrop 1905
Bessy Janak, 2308 South Fifteenth St Comenlua .1901
Larece M. Kreymborg, Tenth & Pierce, No. 2 Dunsany. Pacific 1901
Elsie L. Kelso, 3008 Bedford St Howard Kennedy. . 1 899
Kail Kharas, 2584 Harney St Farnam 1904
John R. Keenan, 821 South Twenty-fourth St Mason ..
Harry E. KoonU, 1411 Madison Ave High ...
Searle H. Lanyon, 816S Farnam St High . . .
Walter Markhofer, 418 Cedar St Train ..
Tom Neff. 2812 V4 Davenport St Webster
Geneva Nicholson, 1138 North Nineteenth St Kellom .
Ray Parmer, S015 Oak St Windsor
Juanita Pressley, 2317 Dewey Ave..". Central .
Agnes Pietsch, 1716 Canton St Vinton .
Esther L, Peterson, 3404 BIondoSt Franklin
Serilla Peters,' 613 Poppleton Ave Train ..
Katherlbe Readlnger, 3214 Center St Windsor
Francfs Robinson ; Deals . .
Edith F. Reynolds, 1723 Van Camp Ave Vinton .
Arthur Simpson, 2314 Hickory St Mason ......1899
William Sage. 2680 Maple St High 1895
Gertrude Seelemire, 802 North Nineteenth St ..... .Central ....... ..1900
Eveline Sward, 2812 Davenport St. .Webster ..... . . ..1901
Harold Sweeney, 1716 Charles St Kellom ,...1900
Nora Jane Trenerry, 3519 North Twenty-eighth St.. Sacred Heart. .... 1897
Charles A. Taylor, Forty-second and Blnney Sts Clifton Hill 1900
Nellie Webster. 7019 Georgia Ave ...High ...1896
Hazel WIglngton, 924 North Forty-second St Walnut Hill 1897
4899
1895
....1896
.......1901
..' 1905
. ... ...1905
,1903
1902
.1905.
.1895
.1897
.1904
..1906
..1899
Ta TJAf ol T.nKkTTiof Sayi Fat People Would Like to Be
V in n carl i!irrnmsrnnr'e.
BY WALTER A SINCLAIR.
Loretta's Looking Glass-Held Up to Girl Who Goes In for
Sports J
There Is a story that was Inspired ' by
the kind of a wife you are training to be.
Borne one asked the husband if his conjugal
mate missed him much. And be made the
Illuminating reply: "No, she can -throw
as strslght as I can."
You will be able to do that. You are
qualifying for athletic equality now. And
the pity of It Is tbat you believe you are
making yourself companionable by making
yourself a good sportswoman. You have.
down deep under your devotion to ath
letics of all kinds, a notion that a man
wants a wife who can "amain" a. ball over
a tennis net as well as he or get the
globular Ivory around the links In as few
strokes. .
Oh! I should like to wring the neck
that covers the larynx which vocalised the
"companloashlp" Idea. I would delight In
perforating the cerebellum which conceived
the notion that a girl, to be attractive to
men, must be able to do mannish things
belter than they. It's euch outrageous un
truth. And girls are mistakenly supposing
11 Is truth.
Exercise and plenty of It la a good thing.
The competitive spirit injected Into ath
letics Is a source of the subtle sex-antagonism
which we all aesm bent upon breed
ing. A girl who plays a sufficiently good
game of tennla to make the sport Interest
ing has charm. But the girl who straddles
and stomps and races and rolls, getting
hot and damp, disheveled and dirty In the
name of sport Is I will not call hsr names,
because I have a lot of sympathy for her.
I wish I knew a way to out. pff at Its
very roots, the bad Idea that a girl gains
anything in the estimation of a man by
beating him at his own game. If ehe be
comes like him la the process, I know a
girl who knowa baseball. Tbs man ahe
loves lovee the game. But I have never
seen her or what's more to the point he
has never seen her, ahed her womanliness
la her enthusiasm for the sport. They
have the companionship of a shared play
Interest; but she never loses a better
companionship In Its cultivation. A man
likes a women whose femininity is as ob
vious aa his owa masculinity. Taluk a mo
mentwould you like a man who lost his
mannishness In his devotion to art? I
can see your Up curl and your eyes flash
scorn. Does It never occur to you that a
man may feel exactly the same way about
your extreme enthusiasm for sport and
ths mannlKhness that you allow to appear
In your manners?
You need to become a mental white
wings. You should get In among your owa
Ideas and dig and rake and sweep and
comb till you have removed every trace
of the notion that "companionship" Is In
doing and being tike men. Then, you
ahould turn mental gardener and culttvate
the determination to grow real companion
ship. And the right 'seed Is the realisation
that a man enjoys his own Interests shown
him front a woman's point of view just as
much as you like hearing and seeing yours
varied and vitalised by bla.
Do not think so much of being an all
tound sport. Be an all-round woman first.
All the rest will take care of Itself ex
cept the trousseau. Of course, you will
have to look after that.
'See what the French professor said
about growing thin by eating five meals
per dayT" asked the Chair Warmer. "Also
hot water or tea without sugar T"
"I seldom drink hot water with sugar,"
replied the Hotel Lobbyist. "Never oc
curred to me that the large number of
ehubby persons we see floating around may
be drinkers of sugared hot water. Believe
me. In view of the alarming Increase of
my equator, I shall shun hot water with
sugar.
"The eminent banter's name Is Prof.
Robin, but he Isn't the first robin of
spring. Nay, nay; there waa a bird of that
same name who snowed New York how to
make their bank accounts grow thin, and
then said he was either crasy or he wasn't.
But Prof. Robin of Paris is speaking about
people when he tells how to grow thin.
The other Prof. Robin made a lot of people
grow thin with worry, but none seemed to
like his treatment. ,
"I have been carrying around the for
mula, but It doesn't seem practicable. It
directs In every other line, 'take a half
hour's walk.' ' Of course, there may be
those who can break off on the genial
task of wrestling out the day's Income
and take a half hour's walk, but most
of the thousands we meet who seem to
be taking a couple of half hour's walks
every hour don't seem to be worrying
about their fat The - thinness Is what
worrying them. Fat people would like to
be In reduoed elroumstances.
"Funyy, though, how many people are
worrying about the too, too solid flesh.
The Prof, mentions that he has crowned
heads of Europe trying his cure. I sup
pose there are fat heads at It.
"I didn't know that fat worried roon
archs. Most of them are pictured aa shiv
ering In terror and losing flesh at the
thought of overthrow. Queens are differ
ent. Of course, kings can waddle around,
enooachlng on the building line and confi
dent that they look every Inch a ruler,
tven though a lot of It was put on by goot
living. But queens have to keep sllmmtd
down and try to look as - svelte as the
dames who pose for the advertisements of
Queen Zusu corsets or any of those lines
named after female monarchs.
"Maybe the women, whom this profes
sor's formula Interests most, can follow
the directions about taking the half hour
Walk. They must walk several half hours
per day around the house doing house
work, back and forth between dining room
and kitchen getting meals, and to ths
grocer's and butcher's, to say nothing of
the reducing process of plunging through
a bargain counter rush. Maybe tbey can
drink the hot water without sugar or the
tea.
"But of course what's attracted every
one's attention Is bow eating two more
meals than most of us get away with tally
IS going to reduce fat? Why stop at T.ve?
If five meals will make one thinner then
three I can see woman eating ten meals a
day to hasten the process of becoming de
lightful skeletons. The fact that most of
the women, the chorus girls and those you
see around In the midnight restaurants
ease In at least four meals and soon bave
dupUoate sets of double chins, means noth
ing. Tbey oould change that by
"My solution to the whole thing is that a
person has about all he or she can do right
now to hustle three squares per day and
that the necessity of raising the price of
five meals per diem would worry any
breadwinner Into a stylish and desired
thinness,"
"Some stout people are so anxious to
reduoe,' said the Chair Warmer, "that they
will do most anything."
"Including eating two more daily meals,"
added the Hotel Lobbyist.
(Copyright, 1911, by the N. Y. Herald Co.)
Regarding thickens.
Senator Money of Mississippi asked ari
old colored man what breed of chickens
he considered bet. and he replied:
"All kinds haa merits. Pe wits ones Is
de easiest to find, but de black ones Is de
easiest to hide aftah you gits 'em."
A man walks at an average speed of
three miles an hour. A horse trots about
seven miles an hour and runs at the rate
of twenty miles an hour.
AYE, AYE!
fee
He It waa blowing hard wbea
rwe ran out of port
She But 1 suppose you had 1
oir aherry or vmethtog Aa
CTkCat)