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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (April 6, 1911)
J i . lira II" 1 II II , ,
THH HKK: OMATTA. TIinfiSDAY, AFKIL fi.
w a - -
Undoing of Mr. Uplift
BY J.A FAT KTTE TAR US
"Fee 1ht Chlisao banker blames the
cty girls for luring young men from Dip
fc-vni." (ihrrvp Mr.
' V of hill e wand
observes Mr. I'pllfe. when the ai-
nrtere In f'ir the regular
Welcome to our illy, Hiram!" exclaimed
' oiin Mr. I'pllft. aw Im reclines cm t ti
i tufted leather couch in puff hlii cigarette.
"He fa th young women ' hool tearh
f ' hk direct the thought of thi boy pupils
1 tousid Hi citle." explains Father,
j "I an little HrlKhT Kycs from Hrnad-
r y telliti lir lma In gather around her
kne while she tell them about the fight
of a great vlty." Ininglncs Knn. "After a
: few lei-arm In how look at thp bright
light without blinking yon can hrt urn
' iminHV.' that'. t of ilear teacher's pupil"
would rry. that the olil homestead was
f hever like that."
f "I. dHie, any,;' venture Katiicr. "that a
oung woman i.hoo teacher might have
considerable Influence over pupils In
country or, district school. 1 know that
jasfrhen I wan a, hoy, on the furm and wont
-" to Iho litt '.old rd a' hool house we
thought a good deal -of our teacher."
t "Do we love our teacher?" tiuerle Pun.
"If she i4mM from New York certainly
we .love ouf' teacher; And believe me,
' when the school la cloaed In the Rood old
j summertime, and the n hooltna'm hikes
1 bark to town, every Rube that can raise
j the ptfrc'wlll no down to the city, h gosh,
i to call on dear teacher.", ,
"Thia banker avers that theae young
I women paint In plowing mlnrs the. life of
a great city." loritimics Father, "thus
t working on the imagination of her boy
Home or inoae gay young "cnonmn mi
j arc aome painter. . too," declare Bon.
' "for your only son has had the honor of
J I Id in a few of them to embelllah dear old
' "She tella the' farmer boy of the Kreat
im of moeiey they can maka In the big
ti'le',M auppoee." thlnka Father.
I'lobably.' doean't mention the larme
ds of dough that tliey can apend. pro-'
vlded they've got If," iurmlaea Son. "If
they only knew that, a month pay aa a
hired hand on the old homeatead would
proliahly buy about, thrae round for the
bunch doWg the great White Way. they
might not run ao faat to catch the first
train out of the village. M
"A a, matter of. fact," argues Father,
History of Transportation
Charles J. Un anil.U. C. Buell of the
I'nlon raclfie railroad ataff.have Just fin
ished the Compilation covering the history
of transportation from ;the earliest times
to the present, day, The work la copy
righted, hilt The Bee Jia arranged to print
an Installment qf tlia work each day, on
tills' Van. The first installment deals
wlt.Ti.lhe. .beginning' -of Water' transporta
tion: eii'' V.v "
The , history' of transportation evidently
bian'. IVrt'.,'i1atlV dlsciovefy ; tha:i'-" word
wi-uhl float on water. ......
Whlla hieroglyphic reecrds and Illustrated
tablet flash "art ocasional suggestion ol
gtvorthy sllps JLS far back a 4000 R. C
nd' while later .records touch Incidentally
uOon tb barge "traffic on tha Chalaean
csnaja nd the . Tigris and, the Kuphratea
1 1 vers, th first .real awakening to tha ne
cesxltv of transportation aa a stimulus to
sn Improved ' civilization seems to have
come. to. tha ancltuit I'liuenlclana centuries
before the Christian era.
The publications of the droller society
and the researches conducted by othera in
terested in Egyptology have revealed pre
historic lnscrlptlons...convlnclng to a de
gree, of many astonishing achievements In
navigation and In business accounting, as
well .as u alphabet, to represent human
speech. However, careful readers are left
t'X the conclusion that not until several
cturlea lalr did the "Phoenician spirit"
of activity maka Itself felt.
This great Phoenician people must be
credited with the mastery of the arta of
money coining, metal working, glass mak
ing, dyeing and weaving, and with tha In
vention of tha first alphabet comprehensive
enough to meet the requirements of com
munlcatlon( accounting and recording. Tha
distinguishing enterprise and business acu
men of this great people marked unrrle-
.taVably tba first progressiva step taken In
direction of a new commercial life.
aggressiveness carried them far be
yond tha consuming markets of tha eaatern
Mediterranean shores. Arabia, Iybla (Af
rica) and tha orient were near, yet remote
because of Jack of transportation facili
ties. These early 4rads eipanslonlsts"
thereupon turned their attention to the art
t shipbuilding. Their "ships of Tyre."
msyrtan roadways and "cloths of ftldon"
soon' put thanr tu 'touch wltto-lhe world's
markets and gave Mwim commercial su
premacy. These "captains of Industry" left little to
Interest the archaeologist. They avoided
wars f conquest. They were content to
let othera bring powerful nations to sub
jection, buttd pyramids, "hanging gardena
of BafeyW." temples and playhouses, while
they carved an Ineffaceable Industrial rec
ord on tha tablets of time they carved
fortunes Instead of marble.
It seems fitting to review this old record
to show tha Important part transportation
facilities have played , in the affairs of
men since civilisation began, because this
Phoenician xatapla has been an insptrs
tlon to succeeding generations. From this
WHATHS COULD Da
"Do you tsrarvt vrrk"
'What kind of work, bottr
"Can you do anything with a
" 1 cuU try a ptece of . nam cn
"Welcome to Our City, Hiram,"
Argued by Father ti. Son.
HIS TH.HT AK DltECTEO TOVAftO
THE CITY. .
"there are many young men who would
be better off ralelng corn on a farm than
they are worklnr In city offices." , ' ,
"At that, the city chaps raise consider
able corn, but If mostly In liquid form,"
retorts Pon, "and will never do the starv
ing millions In India much good."
"Our country school teachers ought to he
warned about this danger." remonstrated
Father, "so that the farma will not be
come entirely deserted by the youttia."
"If a merry little skirt harem or other
wisegot upon the sihoolhouse platform
and told the hoy that the city Is no place
for a farmer's son. do you think that even
a hunch of Hlrams would fall for that ad
vice?" demands Son of his honored par
ent. "Kven a rube doesn't like to be told
he's a dead one."
"Perhaps it could be done somewhat
more diplomatically than that," suggests
Father. "They could be ' shown how the
high coat of living can. be redilced only
through the farm." ' . :
j "If I were a rube that urely would
I make a hit with me." says Son. "if 1
thought I could reduce the price of lobsters
j In Broadway by sticking to the old farm
'for life, would your little Willie be a
hero? Y.es I would-not!"
(Copyright, 1911, by the N. y. Herald Co.)
small beginning transportation develop-
ment has gone on throughout Europe and
Asia with but little Interruption, keeping
pac with the progress of nations-ran in
dispensable aid to their advancement.
(To Be Continued.)
Old Toothache Cuwa i
If It be true that ancient remedies are
always tha test. It may w of Interest to
those afflicted with dental troubles' te know
how the ancient Roman de'sU' srlth i'such
Ilia. Th Qulrltles recognized two types of
treatment, .the magical and tha medical.
Tba following we quote ,"Tba Hospital"
are aome of the prescriptions advised by
Take the head of a dog that ha died of
rabies, mix the ash with oil of Cyprus and
Inject the product Into the ear of th af
A water snake's vertebra, will serve to
scarify the gum provided that it be ob
tained from a white skinned snake. Or
for the same purpose may be used a? Ho
ard's frontal bone obtained wtien the moon
h full, or. If that fall, a rhkrfeen bone will
do, provided that It be dried in hole In a
wall and thrown away immediately after
it Is good treatment to inject into an
aching ear oil of lemon, In which has been
macerated either mallow buga or parrowa'
dung, even should this last give rise to Itch
A worm fed on a particular tierb or a
cabbage caterpillar can conveniently be
placed in a hollow tooth, but it Is equally
simple to chew an adder'a heart.
Prevention being better than cure, a sov
ereign preventive will be found in the eat
ing of two rats a month.
Proofreader's Playthings ;JJ
Hyphen (- A short dash Indicating qual
ity and eiclualveneas. E. g., 'Mrs. Qobbsa
Golde. Dollar Mark it) A golden character
placed at the beginning of numeral modi
flera because all the world la after It.
Period (.) A mark used to set off the
forty-three component parts .of a Henry
Apostrophe (') A tiny character denoting
possession. Obsolete with the ultimate con
Per Cent Mark () A Hebraic rharacter
Indicating tha amount of Interest the pawn
broker ran be expected to take In the tala
of your woes. ,
Ktaoln shrdlu Linotype profanity in
duced by assaulting the wrong key.
Daahea ( ) A series of horlsontsl
marks used as a spur to the reader's imagi
nation when the author rung out of ap
propriate emotion. E. g, "Heavens!" sh
gaaped. "Why What-i Who would"
Exclamation Point (! A ' screamer used
at tha close of Speaker Cannon' terea
Parallel Columns A device used to con
found a peerless leader by comparing the
sagenesa of later years with th indiscre
tions of his youth. Also used as a check
Quotation Marks ( " Apostrophe twin
used to place the responsibility on some
Stuart B. Ktone, In Smart Pet.
Tit for Tat.
"Ha seems to know all tha best people in
town, and yet I've never seen him with
"No. they know him." ;
On well-flalod corn I chewed this morn
I wa.it no meat In mine!
At noon I'll get wheat briquette
At tha close of day. of well chopped hay
My heavy meal shall be
And Ml grow strong And danx along
My life seem new, my buriy, toos
evince food I've taken raw,
t-o now In praise my Voice I rale
Heehaw' - .
Charles C. Jones la UpfXncott s.
j t v& m a i
"They may say what they please about
Mabel Walloper,"- said old Mrs. Jlmmer
aori, as sh poured .out her husband's tea
the other night, while the rain fell in tor
rents .outside., ''She., may be frivolous In
deed, 1 know she Is frivolous and one ot
the worst lhtla fit rta Ik town, no,ithe way
she treats pool Hiram Wlnkletop Is all
that anybody who chooses to criticise her
for it may say about her. Then she Is the
bossiest woman from here to Bkowhegan
there Isn't a pie In this town that she lan't
eternally trying to get her finger In; and
I don't wonder the minister's wife hates
her, the way she goes In to run every
thing from the Sunday school up to the
Sewing society; but all the same she Is a
considerate woman mighty considerate. I
don't know another woman who would do
what she did today."
"What did she do today?" asked Jimmer-
A "hornet's nest with Its occupants In
active hostility Would be only a mild sug
gestion of the state of your temper if any
ono were to accuse you of appropriating
what did not belong to you.
Yet you are constantly doing It. Only
yesterday you worked with the subtlety,
th quiet and the prec slnn of a safebreaker
to secure your spring suit at a reduction.
You know the manager of a certain large
wholesale suit house. On him you prac
ticed your clever wiles. No ward politician
aver connived and schemed with the sin
glehearted devotion that characterised
your treatment of th manager. Gradually
you placed him In such a position that,
without seeming niggardly and dis
courteous, he could not avoid offering to
get you a suit at wholesale.
You were engaged In the ungentle art of
grafting. You were getting what common
place and inelegant people call a "rake
off." Beside forcing the man to sell the
suit at cost, you complicated hla position
by saddling on him the responsibility of a
special order for which you paid the whole
1 hear aha ft uto a su
Well, aheTdoeaol ant mucssi
i trura i socicrj,'
. , 1 1
f Loretta's Looking Glass-She Holds it Up to the Girl Who Grafts J
(Copyright, 1911, by the N. Y. Herald Co.)
son, who had his own opinions as to .ue
lady's good points. ) ,. .
"Why, when-this perfect deluge of rain
started In this afternoon she remembered
that the last time she. w-gtv here; at our
meeting of the Browntnsjf; club- shu had
borrowed our umbrella. " " said Mrs. Jim
jmerson enthusiastically", toTjaJthout hesi
tating a minute, she pu( oai.jTier hat and
waterproof coat and ramama'V the way
over here In that raging storm to return It.
It think that waa mighty thoughtful and
nice of her. Don't you?" !'. .
"I' certainly do," said. Jlmmerson. "1
shouldn't have thought lit 4f her.''
"I guess we've done her au Injustice,"
said Mrs. Jimtnereon, "but hereafter I shall
know better. I don't think I should have
ventured out on a day like this on such
"Well,. I'm mighty giad she did It," aald
Jlmmerson. "Mighty glad, i I've got to go
sale price. But did you care? Do you ever
consider, in your mania for getting some
thing for nothing, 'the trouble, .the em
barrassment and the expense In which you
involve your victims?
You are the girl who goea shopping with
a girl friend and let her pay the car fare.
You always protest, but you always con
You have a coiv little habit of settling
down about lunch time In the office of
some man friend. Of course, the clock
give undeniable evidence that It Is time
to eat. If left to himself, he would save
time and money by visiting the nearest
dairy -lunch, but his courtesy and hi pride
forbid his taking you to the practical, but
Inelegant, lunch counter. ' Be' Invites you
to lunch with him. It costs him 1 He
spends an hour and a half of hla time.
And you go on your way rejoicing. You
have gotten your luncheon for nothing.
You have an acquaintance who Is a dress
maker. You inveigle her into letting you
do your shopping on her account, getting
the discount allowed her.
You know a man who has charge of the
" What la their main reason far
wanting a divorce ?
"The fact that hy are mar
back to the store for a little while this
evening, and that bumbershoot will come
Mrs. Jimmerson's face flushed, and aha
coughed In an embarrassed way.
"Why, Tom, I'm sorry, but you can't
have It, dear," she raid.
"Why not?" demanded Jlmmerson.
"Why," said Mrs. Jlmmerson, "it waa
raining so hard that I had to lend It to
Mabel again to go home with. I couldn't
do' anything else after she had been so
thoughtful as tq bring It back." John
Kendilckr Bangs ln t)pfIncottk.. .- ". '
( Daily Health Hint - ' I
Children should be kept In the open air
as much aa possible, and not artificially
impeded In any way. Let them act out
their nature so far as possible.
Is a structure which usually consoles the
architect for a hovel on earth Lulclmer
box office at a theater. In spite of the
sign prominently posted above the window,
"No free list," you sidle ins nuatingiy up
to him and suggest that It there are any
vacant seats "I would love to see the
Men are weak creature where women
are concerned. I do not profeas to know
all the kinds of men extant; but this 1 do
know: There Is not one man in fifty who
can refuse a woman anything for which
she asks, if he is in a position to give
without actually losing hi place. So, of
course, you get a aeat for the matinee.
You are the one exception that proves
the rule something Is never given for noth
ing. Your whole day Is a succession of de
tailed evidence that you get about every
thing you want without paying th price
that others have to give.
Of course, you pay your self-respect. You
give your dignity. You achieve first place
on the list of public nuisances. But you
do not value self-respect and dignity. You
do not mind being a bother If you
get what you want. So you go on graft
ing. NO SPARS ROOM.
"Do you live within your O
"Ida. But Tm awfully crowded
?2The Dcr Junior
mmhis is the Da
Name? and Address.
Lawrence Allen. 4709 Hamilton Rt
Gertrude K. Bernde, 1031 North Thirty-fourth St.
Everett Haumwart, 3412 Kvans St
Kebecca Brown, 4 21 North Thirteenth St....
Clarence Baatlan. 422 Cedar St
Leota Clark. 2616 Decatur St
Ivo Cruse, 1622 Elm St
Mary Devlne, 2714 Yates St
Esther Dalby, 2863 Miami St
John K. Dlrfee, 137 North Thirty-seventh St
Harry Frahm. 4 503 Leavenworth 8t
Stephen J. Grogan, 2821 North Nineteenth Ave....
Walter A. Gilbert. 1316 Hickory St ,
Mary Golden, 2019 Pratt St ,
Grace Mabel Hale. 2135 South Fifteenth 8t ,
Raymond Isemlnger, 3001 South Sixteenth St....
Mildred Jensen. 4111 Corby St
Junior Jacolson, 3222 South Twenty-third St....,
Al Kelpin, 3028 Burdette St ,
Lena Llpsey, 1514 North Nineteenth St
Mary Lori. 3179 South Thirteenth St ,
Abe Lemper, 1705 North Twenty-fourth 8t
Elsie MtLean, 419 South Nineteenth St
Fred V. Merrlel. 2606 South Thirty-second St....,
Eddto Minardi, 1042 South Twenty-second St....
Willie Pbllnger, 2420 Hamilton St
J. Wesley Poff, 3115 Franklin St
Richard F. Pravltz, 1328 South Twenty-sixth St..
Clara Itolen, 1107 South Twelfth St
Charles Sbeppard, 1519 Charles St
Joe Swoboda, 42 West Arbor St
Frank Schutz, 260S Hamilton St
Annie Segslman, 1903 South Eleventh St
Leonard Sehelbel, 4116 Farnam St
Mildred Valentine, 2236 Farnam St
Koswell Weeks, 3508 Jackson St
Esther Workman. 631 South Thirty-sixth 8t
Koy Heath Warren, 814 South Thirty-eighth Ave. .
Harold Zwelfel, 2245 North Twentieth St
"Are you looking for Alexandria?" Al
fred Rice, a stout, fair, prosperous man,
discontinued his third time around the
deck to stop beslda tha Rev. Eugena Mo
Cord. Still sweeping the line of ea and sky,
the minister replied:. "Well, when we
passed the Crete mountains yesterday 1
knew it would soon be time to look. Can't
see -anything, though. Hav a look?"
Passing the glasses to Rice, he sauntered
over, to his steamer chair. Th Rev.
Eugene. McCord was ,jark, and handsome
In afflntenectuai. iy. The firmness ot
his mouth was partly youth and the poal
tlveness of Its convictions; even more, a
bequest from CovananUr forbear. H
lounged In ha If -conscious grace, and glanced
at random through a book he had picked
up. "How's this?" ha said to Rice, who
had dropped Into a companion chair, and
was lighting a cigarette.
"To my wife.
Whose creed is ber lite.
"Yes. That' good." He turned to the
name on the back of tha book. "Ah,
CraJg Stafford Craig. I know his works.
A man with a heart and a aoul."
"Mac," asked Rica suddenly, "can a wo
man have too much religion?"
"1 wlh one had more," growled the
"Absent treatment a bit out of your
line. I take It?" Jollied tha other.
he was a California girl. I see her
now" closing his eyes dreamily "In white,
her arms filled with popples that nsarly
matched th gold of her hair a twlaty live
oak for background green against the
burnt yellow of the fields. Ah, Califor
nia!" ha sighed. "But her religion waa all
wrong rather, she hadn't much at all. I
don't know how it la In those English col
onies In Africa, where you have lived;
but In th states, if you're of the east, you
can't dodge It; you've got to take sides
for or against religion. Something impels
you. But out there well. It' different.
They can let It alone. A physical exuber
ance, outgrowth of their glorious climate,
carries them along. They don't miss the
peace ot faith."
Rice walked to the rail and tossed over
board his cigarette. "My turn! I met
her In Honolulu. She was ravishing
the kind that has a fluttering coo In her
voice; but down deep she required a reli
gion. I had none. She was the kind that
Genealogy The art whereby She coach
man la put inside the coach by his wealthy
grandson provided the old man has been
dead long enough.
Dot The sum set aside by the brld to
pay the expenses of the divorce.
Proprety: Real Anything sufficiently
stable to support" a mortgage. Personal
Anything you succtssfully hid from your
wife. 1,'nreal Your umbrella, th Instant
It is out of sight.
Bill An unwelcome statement ot a dis
Hangings-Textile articles strung around
a room for th purpose of retaining the
odor of tobacco and thus providing a gen
tle stimulus to breakfast table conversa
tion. Vanity A purely personal opinion that
1 pathetic because It is so lonesome.
Virtue A costly foible thet we spend
more time praising that practicing.
Modesty Keep your right hand behind
your back while your left hand drops a
button Into the plate.
Forethought Making over your property
to your wife a sufficient tlm before the
crash to prevent th court from setting
aside the transfer.
Sealskin See cat.
Wisdom The ability to wear a pair of
spectacles Impressively and to get people
to te'l each other haw much you know
D. B. Van liureti In Pmart Jet.
Th neighbor of a certain woman In a
New Ergland town maintain that this lady
entertain some very peculiar notions
touching the training of children. Ixwal
opinion ascitbe these oddities on her part
to th fact that sba attended normal school
for one year Just before her marriage,
Eald on neighbor. "Sh does a lot of
7 ,Ox A
.Walnut Hill 1900
Howard Kennedy. . 1 898
.Sacred Heart 1903
.Howard Kennedy ..1897
Sacred Heart . ....1901
Druid Hill 1903
.Clifton Hill 1904
. leaven worth 1899
. Franklin . . .
. Holy Family
. Central .'. .. .
in the Eye
could get you Into heaven through her
smile but I wasn't cad enough to go that
Next day the two men met in Cook' at
Cairo. They were both . bound for h
Uper Nile valley. While waiting their
turn, they fell Into conversation with a
pleasant-faced fellow who, having Just re
turned from there, gave them timely sug
gestions. They were speaking of hire that
evening as they sat at dinner in Shep
heard' red upholstered dining room, and
Utenedo the muslo from the back room.
"Nlc xhap." said 'Rlcr. r-I llkad his
"Ye. Very obliging.- He mtit hav"--.
The Rev, Kaigene atopped short . in hi
sentence. Hi ayes were fixed on a lady
In whit, and a gentleman who advanced
tha length or the room, with her. Th
orange of poppy field in far-away Califor
nia gleamed In her hair. Rice followed
his glance, but, missing the lady aa sh
passed behind a post, saw only the man.
"Well," he aald, "speaking of angels
our friend at Cook'." Suddenly he too,
The lady, now abreast of them, started,
hesitated In uncertain recognition, then, aa
each sprang t hi feet, unconscious of th
other, extended her hand in gracious greet.
"You here! Both of you! And you know
each other?" sba fluttered coolngly,
"Alicia Miss Noyes," began the llttla
minister, his eye speaking where hi
tongue left off.
"When did you arrive?" aaked Rloe, th
laxy nonchalance gone from hi voles. "I
did not see your name on the register."
"Perhaps you did not know when you
aaw It." bantered th lady archly. "Lt
ma Introduce my husband. Stafford, you
must meet these two old friends of mine.
Mr. Rice-Mr. Craig. Mr. Rice was with
ua on the Doric from Yokohama to Hono
lulu. And this Is the Rev. Mr. McCord.
whom I knew In California. But your
soup Is growing cold. You have Jut com?
Then you will go with us tomorrow at I
to the pyramids and the sphynxT And
lunch with u out there at th Mena
House? L'ntll tomorrow, then." Alicia
Noyes Craig passed on with her husband.
"The 'sphylnx.' Indeed." commented Rlc.
McCord amended aoftly, 'Whose creed
I her life.' "Gertrude Morrison in Uppln
cott. funny things. What do you Suppose I
heard her say to that boy of hers this
"I dunno. What was It?"
"Well, you know her husband cut his
finger badly yesterday with a hay outter;
and this afternoon as I was goln by th
house I heard her say.
" 'Now, William, you must be a very
good bojv for your father has injured hi
hand, and If you are naughty he woft b
able to whip you.' " Upplncott'S.
We ahouldn't always judge by appear
ances, but It hard to make a pretty girt
Look. Edna! Here come Ma
de Style. Now, shall ! please her
by complimenting her on her new
coatuqit, or pleaae myself ao4 teil
bcTjWb-iiJ. really Oh f n k: ,a bout ft?
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