THE I5EE: OMAHA, SATURDAY, APRIL 1, 1011.
ff The
J"X'1L.
Jne yaaziie
UTILE MON KM TOE WIEffi END
3QlieBEE3 Junior Birthday Book
LI o-n TT,i r,vrt A In Trl rn On the Procrastination or Woman in
BT AMERE MAM. GeBeral Md 0ne l CUlar.
11
ee'g
TT 7y
' I'm going to town on the 104," pro-
claimed the Amateur Wife at the breakfast
'able.
The Tom Graduate Husband, with a
slightly exaggerated effort at anxiety,
consulted hla watch.
"It's 9:30 now," he said, 'you'll have to
lurry."
She smiled her most superior and tor
menting smite.
"Have some coffee?" she asked. "I
won't have to dress for half an hour."
Her Husband frowned till the many cor
rugations In his forehead suggested a
hsif-squeezed acoordeon or a Highland
kilt
"You know very well," he said, "that It
would take you three-o.uarters of an hour
to get ready for your own funeral. Never
mind my coffee! You need all your ener
gies to catch that train!"
"Now, how absurd that Is." Hla Wife
commented, pausing to argue.
It was an axiom of the Fost Graduate
Husband that Hla Wife would rather argue
tliut eat.
"If I could get dressed th way you do
Just gallop under a harness that was all
teiidy for m like a fire department horse
It wouldn't take me five minutes to dress.
Oh I wish I were a man!" she added, with
the Inconsequent pessimism of the sex.
"If I were a man!" she added, glancing
fiitatiously at the Post Graduate Hus
tand, "would you pick me for your best
friend? Would you know that there was
a strong. Intellectual sympathy between
us? Ion't you think you would still feel
-the affinity of our souls?"
"If you were a man." he said slowly.
"I'd give you the worst licking you ever
had In your life! I'd take some of the
conceit out of you! I'd"
"Oh, all right. I ll get dressed," said His
Wife, resignedly. "Let me know when It's
a quarter past ten."
And the young person who was !n a
hurry to catch a train walked slowly and
majestically upstairs, stopping first to
play with Woof-Woof, the angel collie, on
th: way and then to give the Helpful
Handmaiden the dinner order.
Once In her own room, she decided that
she had so much time ahead that she
would Invent a new way of doing her hair.
At least thirty minutes passed In that
agreeable occupation, hut In the end she
took down the tentative structure she had
reared and adjusted her locks In their ac
customed simple coiffure.
After that she decided that the blue tie.
vould not harmonize with her pink m-
broldered shirtwaist she had laid out to
wear.
"Should she change the tie of the shirt
waist? The problem occupied her thoughts for
ten minutes more.
Then she found an April magazine that
ho hadn't read. "Why I Shook My Hus
bandw," was the leading article. And In
her Intense absorption In the troubles of
that unknown wife she forgot the man
that waited and the train that wouldn't
wh till she got through.
The Post Graduate Husband, hatted and
overcoated, paced Impatiently below, and
rr
Undoing of Mr. Uplift
BY LAFAYETTE PARKS.
"Why don't you Join this new league
for lonely persons?" asks MY Uplift of
his omniscient offspring, when the pride
of the Harlem flat has comfortably In
stalled himself In the easiest chair.
"Do I look like an Orphan Annie on her
way to the Home for the Frtendlees?" de
mands young Mr. ITpllft with a sudden
earnestness that startled his fond papa.
"I didn't mean that you haven't any
friends." hastily corrects Father, "but It
seemed to me to be an excellent orku filia
tion." 'Well, what' It all about T" grumbles
Bon, settling back on bis neck with the
air of a lamb being led to the slaughter.
"A number of women and men with
philanthropic Ideaa have opened a club for
the benefit of strangers and other persons
In the city who are lonesome," explains
Fatlft. "Young women and men living In
furnished rooms are especially Invited to
"" . . .. .
"Pretty soft for me nauroom biuuub,
ehT" surmises Son.
"The club will give entertainments, serve
light refreshments, lemonade, and try to
make the place homelike," explains
Father.
"Home waa never like that." volunteers
Bon. "Take 1t from me, there'll be a bunch
of empty hall rooms around this little old
town as soon as the rah-rah boys get wise
to thla stunt. And maybe the college girls
and the suffragettes won't flock there In
drove to cap up that pink lemonade."
"Any plan that will help to dispel the
loneliness of a great city Is to be com
mended." argues Father. "The club will
also help young men to save money."
"That's where they'll make one big hit
with me." admit Son. "Anybody, any
where, any time, who can put me hep to
laying by the buck will get all my votes
In the popularity contest. I might be able
to worry through the lonely life of this
great city If I only had the cush."
One young woman who Is a member of
the club," Father tells, "said that money
doesn't make any difference. She said she
bad plenty of money, but there were times
when she was so lonesome that life did
not seem worth while."
Whafs the dame's address?" queried
Pon with reviving interest. "When she i-ets
lonesome again all she needs to do t send
for me. I ll Introduce little Bright Eyes
to some of the younger set In Harlem, and
the next time she sees that word lone
some' she ll have to look In the dictionary
to find out what It means. That shows
how popular our bunch Is when it cornea
to entertaining the dame."
I agree with this young woman when
she says that money w'll not prevent a per
son from getting lonely." insists Father.
"Of course. If a chap didn't know the
town that might make some difference,"
hedge Son. "At the same time there are
plenty of 'Welcome' signs hanging around
for the fellow with a bundle of the kelt. 1
could keen the waiters chasing back and
forth fast enough to ke.p my mind off the
ball room. There are lot of place that
even a stranirer can go to before he finally
trie to find in Keynote in mat urnisnen
room and drug down tli folding bed "
While a young man with money ox a go
ut and find a certain amount of sociabil
ity " admit Father, "the young women.
of whom there are thousand living lonely
lives, must b considered. This league will
afford an opportunity for them to meet
young men."
"Looks like one of those wedding bell
plots to me." say Son. suaelclouely. "I'sa
always a bit exgay when a bunch of dama
tit ready la rut oat the glad fcaad. 1-oox.
1
4ityff
AND fElrlPED IZ IX
WHILE HE l
- wntsu.
she fussed and primped while he fumed.
At last, grown weary with waiting. Her
Husband walked to the foot of the stair.
"You'll find me outside whenever you're
ready," he called, with a poor effort at
long-suffering meekness. "I'm going to
take Woof-Woof out for a little run."
She heard the dog s high, excited bark
and the quick slamming of the front door.
Then she hurried yea, really, conscien
tiously hurried. She had purposed to write
several-, notes that morning, but she had
postponed them. Also she had Intended
to Invade the rarlfled realm of higher
mathematics and add up the butcher's
bill.
With fully five minutes to spare she
opened the front door and stood on the
porch.
"I'm ready, dear, hurry up, or you'll be
late," she said. '
But there waa no answer.
Where waa Woof-Woof? What had be
come of Her Husband?
A cloud of dust In the direction of the
butcher shop waa her only answer.
As to the distant moon the sea forever
turns, so Woof-Woof gravitated to the
meat emporium.
Once upon a time the butcher had given
Woof-Woof a bone and since then the
collie, with a vague notion that history
repeated Itself, always followed the line
of least resistance to the butcher market.
What the Post Graduate Husband said
when he saw the "Angel" dog galloping
madly down the street and what he said
during the agonies of that half hour chase
only Woof-Woof and the Recording Angel
know. What he waa going to say when
he cams back with the runaway the Ama
teur Wife divined. i
"It's easier to eaten a train than a dog,"
she said, consoling. "But never, mind
dear, I won't acold you and perhaps If you
hurry we will catch the next train. Bye
bye, Woof-Woof!"
(Copyright, 1911. by the N. T. Herald Co.)
ia ' l
-.J
THIS IS A
Lome, coke
TCWH.
like Just another one of those schemes ta
steal our liberty. They throw that lonely
spiel at us to get us discouraged with the
hallroom game, and the next thing that
happen we're paying the rent of a flat for
two."
"I fail to see any disaster In that de
velopment." avers Father.
"That's because you're already married,"
deoidea Son. "As for me, I guess I'll stick
around the hallroom for a bit and take a
chance on sidestepping that lonesome feel
ing." (Copyright, 1911, by the N. T. Herald Co.)
Heaven a Lonely Place
Signor Caruso, discussing In Chicago the
rumors of hi betrothal, said;
"The people who are circulating this
false gossip are not In George Washing
ton's class. I fear they will not help to
make heaven populous.
" 'Papa, do liars go to heaven?" a little
boy once asked.
" 'No, my son; I am afraid not,' the
father answered.
'Old you ever tell a He, papa?
" 'Ye, yes."
" 'Did mamma?'
" 'Yes, I am sorry to say."
" 'And Cnol Tom?
" 'Dear me, yes.'
"'And Grandma Smith?"
" 'Yea. yes."
"The little fellow sighed.
" "What ar you sighing about T asked
his father.
" 'It must be awful lonely la heaven,
papa, with nobody there but God and
George Washington.' "
r
Daily Ilealth Hint
u
Hegular sleep and abundance of It ar
essential to health. The amount required
varies with the Individual. There are those
'ho find hu or eight hour sufficient.
vtneri rr.(uir Bine. snmo.
kr present age, require tao.
Bernhardt.
Jesaa Interceding for Ills rerwrn torn
Tfxt: "Father, forgive them, for they
know not what they do." Luke 23:34.
fiven remarkable words Christ spoke
after He was nailed to the cross, and be
fore He died, and this Is his first. As soon
as ever He was fastened to the cross, or
while they were nailing Him, he prayed:
"Father, forgive them." Can It be? Would
It not have sounded more reasonable had
he prayed, "Father, consume them." No,
these are particularly prayed for. and all
that are sinners like unto them. Now, lie
made intercession for transgressors, as
was foretold. (Isatali hi.Vl.
Now, the raying of cfirlst upon the cross
as welt as His sufferings and death, had a
further Intention than they seemed to have.
This is a mediatorial word and explicatory
oTfhe intent and meaning of his death:
"Father, forgive them, not only these, but
all that shall repent, and believe the gos
pel;" afid He did not Intend that these
should be forgiven upon any other terms.
He might have said: Father, that which I
am now suffering and dying for Is In order
to this, that poor sinners may be pardoned
The only thing Christ died for was to
procure for us the forgiveness of ln. This
Is that for which He Intercedes for all that
repent and bellve in the virtue of His
satisfaction; his blood speaks this: Father,
forgive them. The greatest sinners suay,
through Christ, upon their repentence, hope
to find mercy. Though they were His
persecutors and murderers he prayed:
Ff.ther, forgive them; and so He does to
day for you and I.
The plea says. "For they know wot what
they do.'' If they had known, they would
not have crucified Him. 1 Cor. 2:.
Only sinners need forgiveness. How ac
tive around the cross. Some nailing, some
lifting, some pulling, some mocking, some
casting lots. How active have we all been
In thought, word and deed sinning against
our Bavlor. Can It be true that they knew
not what they were doing? Did they not
knew that they were crucifying Jesus be
tween two thieves in bright daylight? Do
f Loretta's Looking Glass-Held Up to Girl Who
A little bit of vanity Is not bad. It Is so
much better than none at all that it ought
to be cultivated.
If It Is the Inspiration that sends you
to the breakfast table with your clothes
on properly and no safety pin showing at
the back of the belt It Is a benediction.
It take a terribly healthy appetite to
make a breakfast enjoyable when curl
papers- are In evidence. And the shine of
cold cream on a feminine nose slide ro
mance quite away.
It is the wife with too little vanity
who gets the "pecky" good-bye kiss when
her husband set out for hi office. A
frowsy kimono and disheveled hair are
enough to make any man "peck."
Borne girls have a kind of vanity that la
subject to queer vacillation. They would
not be seen In any but the most Immacu
late costume before marriage, but after
taking the man they become vanity less.
"You do not look the same to me, some
how," a husband will say, with pitifully
nonplussed gaze fastened on his other half.
Naturally not Be Is wearing a red bath
robe as a bad substitute for a house gown.
lfj
t : " cry
I - : -ft
r j' v, "' i ;
,;, ,4 .
Kev. K
Danish
M. Hansen, Pastor of Fella
Lutheran Church, Omaha.
we not know what we ate doing? Yet we
hear Him praying: Tiny know not what
they do. No! They did not know they
wre wounding the eternal God. How can
It be that they did not know that He who
raised Lazarus from the dead was not the
Son of God? How can it be that many of
our well-educated people are not Chris
tians? There is only one answer: The
wounded Savior gave it. They know not
what they do. The only hope for the un
believers of this world today is their great
ignorance. We poor sinners never know
what we are doing till we hear Christ
telling us: They that speak 111 of religion
speaks 111 of that whirh they know not.
The reason that they do not, Is because
they will not know It. We are not kept In
Ignorance today.
This prayer tells us that we are valuable
sirners. Jesus did not die for silver, gold
or diamonds. He did not die for the earth
or other worlds; but He did die for us.
She ha shed her vanity In the security
of having got him tied up In the matri
monial harness with her. And his Illusion
come clattering down about hia ears as
hi eye behold what she really looks like
without the pretty vanities of dress.
A wife without vanity la a real worry.
It's always running a risk for the husband
to bring an unexpected guest. The mop
Is apt to be on the front porch and spots
on the dinner linen.
A woman who Is a little bit vain knows
that she needs a clean and attractive house
to set her oft. So she keeps It In order
so that it Is becoming to her.
She spends her money better than a
woman without vanity can. She takes the
necessary pains to have her clothes fit.
She wears her hats so they look as If they
cost more than two-nlnety-elght- She is a
comfort to her husband. He likes to have
her look as well aa she likes to do It. It
fills him with complacent self-approval to
ee the admiration of his friends corrob
orate the excellency of his choice.
A girl who Is Just vain enough to want
to look pleasant, well dressed and refined
1 lu woiimli-d Savior ' I'm rluiseii and won
me from all sins, from death and the power
of the devil, not with gold or silver, but
. Ith Ills holy, prec ious blood and with Ills
It ni ient suffering ami death that I may be
His own. As the Father loved Him on the
cross, lie loves us. lie cannot embrace
us for His hands are nulled, but lie prays:
"Father, forgive them, for they know not
what they do." .surely, God loves us.
This prayer tells us what we should be
We should be free No one can look upon
the crucifixion of Christ without noticing
how devilish the whole act was. Certainly,
setan knows much and was the great gen
eral of the cruclflers. and yet he was ignor
ant to notice that he was bringing about
redemption, l t us be free from a master
who Is too Ignorant to know that he Is
crushing his own head. Chief priests and
I'lhrlsees learned men cried: "Crucify
Him!" They did not know us much about
Jesus as a little child. Who knows less
tcilay of the Savior and Ills word than the
learned? Many of our educators are driv
ing souls to hell! Oh, that we were free
from the clutches of false science! The
wcrld Is full of unbelievers and the
wounded Savior wants all saved. Father,
forgive them, deliver them from the ignor
ance cf the lost, for they know not what
they do. Some think It looks smart to
hate their neighbors and not speak to
them; this, too, is Ignorance from which
we should be free. Such people do not
live close to the wounded Savior. Have we
ever been wounded like Jesus? Has any
one ever driven nails through our hands
and hung us by our network of nerves to
a tree? If so. If we follow Jesus without
being asked we will pray: "Father, for
give them, for they know not what they
do." If you have unforgiving spirits In
you, dwell on Calvary's hill with your
eyes on the enemies of Jesus and on Hia
wounds and put your ears close to His
mouth and bear Him say till you can
jri'.y: "Father, forgive them, for they
know not what they do." The prayer of
Jesus melted the heart of a thief. It can
melt yours.
is "Little Bit" Vain
J
is exactly the kind, of a girl that a dis
criminating man would choose.
And If he is hunting trouble he will find
It If he selects a girl who allows' him to see
her in a soiled house gown. He is fore
doomed to the inflictions of high-run-over-heeled
dancing slippers, frayed lace and
any kind of an outer garment, from a
dirty evening coat to a flannelette tea
Jacket with the fuzz off, at any time he
exclusively enjoys his wife's society.
f Nubs of Knowledge ll
V JJ
Oil of lavender, sprinkled about their
shelves, will prevent books mildewing.
Liquid air Is so much colder than Ice
that if a kettle filled with it be placed
on a cake of ice the air will boil vigor
ously. To enable a horse to get all the feed
there Is in a nose bag there has been
patented a bag with springs in the head
strap to lift it gradually as the contents
are exhausted.
Bus is ke
Day We
April 1, 1911.
Name and Aildroas.
Othelia Anderson. 1201 North Twenty -
Annie Ackorman, 906 Francis St
Kuth Hrown. 2417 Seward St
Edith G. Hruner, 3212 Ohio St
Larmle Bancroft, 2120 North Fifteenth
Josephine Htlz, U0S South Eighteenth
Charlotte L. Iiurrell, 120 South Thirty
Kussell Becker, 4101 Dodge St
Edna M. Burns, 2611 North Thirteenth
Bessie Cohn, 2209 Cuming St
Rosle Ctch, 2909 Walnut St
August Corner, 1029 South Twenty-fourth
Ralph Campbell, 2216 Burt St
Thomas D. Coll, 3637 North Twenty-eighth
Maude Craig, 2132 South Forty-sixth St High 195
Gissa Csorgo, 1202 South Second St Pacific 1904
Wesley Darrough, 609 North Seventeenth St Cass 1904
Lenona Denison. No. 3 The Albion Pacific 1S99
Ida Duetch, 1311 Pierce St Pacific 1905
Francis D. Emery, 1014 North Forty-seventh St. ... Walnut Hill 1903
Julius Frank, 214 South Twenty-eighth St Farnam 1900
Oliver Gift, Thirty-seventh and Brown Sts Central Park . . . .1904
Albej-t Grant, 2605 South Thirty-seventh St .High 1895
Sussue Gentllll, 715 South Nineteenth St St. Phlloniena 1S95
Lyal Hopkins, 4021 Saratoga St Central Park ....1R99
Allan S. Higgln8, 141 North Forty-first St Saunders 1903
Theodore Hill, 913 Gust St Sherman 1902
Harold F. Irons, 1702 Vinton St St. Tatrlck 1902
Lorena Jackson, 506 South Twenty-first St Mason 189S
Eva Jail, 708 South Sixteenth St Ieavenworth 1905
Leo Kloch, 2914 Bancroft St Im. Conception ...1903
Eleanor V. Lloyd, 1616 North Twenty-eighth St.... Long 1898 '
Waldo C. Little, 816 South Thirty-fifth Ave Columbian 1901
Robert Loomls, 3608 Jackson St High 1896
Anna McCloy, 1914 Burdette St. Lake 1S96
John Maylan, 1923 South Nineteenth St St. Patrick 1904
Harold Mack, 1702 Vinton St Custellar 1902
Adeline McKenna, 2707 Vinton St Castellar 1900
Clarence Mlnikus, 1348 South Twenty-fourth St.... Mason 1S99
Pearl Murry, 4424 Jones St Columbian 1903
Frank J. O'Neill, D06 North Fourteenth St Cass 1895
Mamie Ptos, 4011 South Thirteenth St Bancroft 1S97
Harriet Parmelee, 1924 Corby St High 1892
George Petosky, 414 Pacific St Pacific 1902
Ida M. Paul, 1520 South Tenth St Pacific 1S99
Frieda Rleser, 121 Woolworth Ave Train 1901
Irwin Schwltzer, 2108 North Twenty-seventh Ave... Long 1902
Morris Sherman High 1894
Fred Schuebel, 4223 North Fortieth St Central Park 1902
Ralph Stevens Central 1902
Erail iSchipporelt, 2207 North Seventeenth St Lake 1902
Emma L. Solomon, 1305 South Thirty-first St Park 1901
Clemens Targaezewskl, 2520 South Twenty-fifth St. . Im. Conception . . .1899
Onlia Targaezewskl, 1948 South Twenty
Virgil Taylor, 5312 Florence Boulevard. Miller Park . .
George Weldel, 1931 South Twenty-first St Castollar
Pinnle Wintroub, 2212 Cass St
Cnmn OilltxiinJ-J-nrM 4-"U
BY BOBBIE BABBLE
"Say, Mamie, got a quarter?"
Asks! little Joe McUee.
" 'Cause if you have you oughter
Go to the circus, see?"
"Have you been there?" asks Mamie.
"No, not this year," says Joe,
"But I'm guln' Just the samee,
'Cause 1 jjust want to go!"
"I got a dime and, maybe,"
ays Mamie, "I'd get more
By minding Aunt Kate's baby
Or sweeping Granny's floor!"
"Aw, get your dad to stake you
He's got the coin," says Joe,
"Or make your uncle take you
O'wan, Mamie, don't be slow!"
"I hate my lessons darn 'em.
Just watt," says Joe, "and when
I'm big I'll be a Barnum
With my own show, and then
You come In without paying,
And sit downstairs, of coure.
Or maybe you'll be playing
That lady on the horse!"
Then Mamie gasps, "Supposing
That lady should fall flat?"
Says Joe, "Aw, quit supposing
So mean a thing aa that!"
"Wleht I waa her she dresses
In silk and wears a crown!"
Joe only grunts and guesses
He'd rather be a clown.
r
Personalities.
Congressman Tawney of Minnesota Is a
blacksmith by trade. He waa born near
the battlefield of Gettysburg.
Ki.se Pastor Stokes, the socialist, wife of
4 Phelps Stokes, was formerly a
i ..ki r. She waa born In Kussla.
..a K. Barr, the novelist, la a native
of Lancashire, Kngland. She Is the author
of fifty-seven varieties of heroines and
heroes.
Albert E. Sterner, the artist. Is a native
of Kngland, and began his career as a
keen painter.
Kirk Munro, the Juvenile author, waa the
founder of the League of American Wheel
men. Senator W. A. Smith of Michigan was. In
hit youth, a telegraph messenger b.Vy.
Charles A. Missing Is a banker in New
York.
Kx-Oovernor . "vV. Pennypacker of Penn
sylvania Is a famous book collector, making
a specialty of early American Imprint.
Anthony Comstock, New York's arch
enemy of vice, has mad 1. 100 arrests and
seized I2i tons of obscene literature. When
lettiiLS from tha pastlinng. he tuake art
1 ,', 1
LTA L M. HOPKINS,
401 Saratoga Street.
School. V.tr.
sixth St Kellom IH;!
Lincoln 1905
.Long; lilOl
.Howard Kennedy . . 1 004
.Lake
. Leavenworth 1 902
.Columbian 1902
. Saunders .1 1 902
.Sacred Heart 190 4
. Kellom 1900
St
St
- sixth St.
Ave
lni. Conception ...1900
St Vinton 1304
High 1R94
Ave .... Sacred Heart ....1S99
- eighth St...Im. Conception
. .1896
..1903
. .1904
..1899
Central
rt C! .3 1 U Two Juvenile
Critics.
J)
KM
few-
"She looks so nice and airy
But I'm afraid she IhIM"
"Aw, you're a girl, your scary,
Just" fit to play with dawls!"
"You know I ain't," says Mamie,
"Dye think a girl's a fool?"
Tome on," says Joe, "don't blame me
If you git late to school!"
(Ccpyrighted, l'Jll, by the N. Y. Herald Co.
craft furnltur and collects postage stump.
Iavld Blspham, the famous baritone, Is
an expert swimmer and rides the bicycle.
Charles Nagel, serretury of commerce and
labor. Is a lover of fine arts, lie was born
In Texas.
Boss Murphy of Tammany hall is desig
nated In recent biographical works aa a
"publlo official."
A l.riiou In Courtesy.
Booker T. Washington, the noted edu
cator, said of George Washington In a
recent address In Tuskegee:
"Washington, as he drove In his coach
one day, was saluted by an aged colored
man, who lifted his tattered cap, where
upon Washington acknowledged the talute
b lifting his own hat In turn.
"Hi companions remonstrated. Why did,
the great George Washington bow to a
ragged black? Hut Washington raid. In
Im I'rtvp and stately way:
" 'Do you think, my friends, that I can let
mysilf i,i uutdonu in courtesy by a poor
anu Ignorant old negro?" "
Quite ftalUfletl.
Visitor Your typewriter seems Vtrf
much taken up with her machine.
Lawyer Ye. It ha a patent chewing
gum wad holder, flower receptacle, bon
bon shelf, rat atorage. pin box and a fa
other things attached. Puck.
