TI1K NKE: OMAHA. TUESDAY. MATUTT 2. 1011.
The (ecg ne agaziiie p)afe
Her Husband's Voice ' f'". H"
BY AMERE MAN.
Ths exrlustveness of the heights Is ,
nothing to the exrluslveness of the depths, i
Though It t"", Kipling's "Tnmlinson" l
diecnver that hell l nut a free port of
rnliv. any on who moves Into a suburb
must, realize In a very short time urni, i
hold I
time that,
uhliA smletv above stairs may rail, the
o.iems of the local kitchens
m rencly aloof from newcomer.
Vv hlle the neighbors In Mountalnvllle hail
Ir.miplly left cards at the home of the i
Tout Graduate Hub). and and the Amateur
ite, Mary, the Helpful Handmaiden, re-J
nialned utterly unrecognized by the social
arbiters below stair. Hh had gone rellii-i
lously to man and Lenten devotions as 1
well. JBut no one spoke to her.
"i--iTh deposed quei-n of Ktnland, who ruled I
-()vr the basement on the left, gamd I
haughtily over the head of the Helpful
Handmaiden when they mat on their way
to fhurib.
I.ven though the exlh-d empress who
controlled the culinary destiny of the fam
ily on tha right had occupied the very neat
eet at a special meeting railed to form a
local "ladles- auxiliary" of the A. O. II..
he remained totally unaware of Mary's
existence.
Of course, Mary returned acorn for scorn.
"It's aort of lonesome out here," she con
fided to the Amateur Wife. "For, of
course, riut'ain, I couldn't be expected to
apeoclate With the kind of trash that's
employed cut here. A woman of my edu
cation would scarcely take notice of their
employers, ma'am."
As the Amateur Wife hud found many
of her new neighbors delightful she failed
utterly to understand the Handmaiden's
altitude.
Hut suddenly, without any apparent rea
son, the barriers of "below stairs" were
let down and the submerged social leaders
of Mountalnvllle vied with each other for
Mary'a favor, ;
Even the Amateur Wife did not suspect
that she was personally responsible for the
k'trhen cabinet's change of policy. But
she had confided to a friend next door
that Mary possessed a savings bank book,
ind.i the news having gotten down the
dumbwaiter In some ways Mary's stock
iiisii risen accoraingiy.
i) "If you please, ma'am. I'd like to have
dinner, a little earlier than uual. I'm
n lug to a party," Mary announced.
Almost as pleased as Mary herself, the
Amateur Wife consented to the change In
the dinner hour, and even persuaded the
Post Graduate Husband that out of defer
ence to the Helpful Handmaiden's party,
he must come home an.hour earlier.
Many came home at 3 o'clock the next
morning, and all that day an air of gloom
thick aa a November fog, overcast her
ntenanee. Tha breakfast was exercrable!
Mary'a deterioration, which was marked
end rapidly progressive, dated from that
hour.
she had begun by changing the dinner
hour. . ' -
It was on the second week of her social
' vetlon that she decided to change her
lie. j .
' Sirs. Manit." she Inquired one morning
rre"femo"vlni? the 'breakfast 'dishes; "do
i like the nsme May?"
' Certainly. "' answered the Amateur
.ITe "it's a very pretty ham."
Mm
4 ffft
I'M Ejcliev-in' YOU OP MY PCPSFNCE AT
I THE. END OF THE MOUTH, SAID MAfcf.
i
"lint not !o pretty a Mary, onserveu
the Post tiraduale Husband, diplomatic
ally. "I'm thinking differently," declared
Marv, with some abruptness. "So III be
ui.klntr vou to call me May hereafter If
you've no objection."
The Post Graduate Husband frowned, hut
as he could find no reason In law or ethics
for his objection he said nothing.
Therefore Mary's letters came addressed
to the shorter and more frivolous name,
and when she telephoned the orders to the
butcher and grocer she opened all conversa
tion with a conscious giggle and "This Is
May McGarry speakln.' "
And she wore pink bows in her hair!
Indeed the Amateur Wife suspected her
of annexing for that purpose Woof-Woof's
best neck ribbon.
The Helpful Handmaiden got up later
and later, and her cooking, which had
never suggested any great respect for the
human stomach or even the human palate,
Cot worse and worre.
"Finally one evening, as the Post Grad
uate Husband and Hlsc Wife sat In the
dining room, the climax came.
Mary or Mav In a vivid blue silk dress
stood In the doorway.
"I seen your're not usln' the parlor th's
evenln'," she said. Ingratiatingly, "and I'm
erpectln' a few friends. Could I receive
them there?"
Stunned, speechless, tha Amate,ur Wife
could only stare at her. t
But the Post Graduate Husband, after a
thunderous "No!" spoke strongly, brutally
and much to the point.
At the end of hie harangue the Haughty
and no longer Helpful Handmaiden, Wear
ing the air of Mary, Queen of Scots at her
execution, gazed loftily past him.
Her eyes fixed the shrinking gaxe of the
Amateur Wife and slowly, fatefully she
spoke words of doom:
"I'll be relieving you of my presence at
ho end of the monUi," she said. ...
And the Poet Graduate Husband and His
Amateur Wife sighed a sign of genuine
thanksgiving.
(Copyright, Mil. by the N. T. Herald Co.)
f
The Bee's Junior Birthday Rook
1115 IS XJie Uil
MWe Celebrate
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1 Tippler's Favor Beer J jj Mamma's Monologue J juvenue joks j
TUESDAY,
March 28, 1911.
1 ;)-
' - .
' ..--"".
'v . . ' "
FItANK DKWEY,
i'M2 North Thirty-ninth Street.
M.MtHY PKWKY.
'M North Thirty-ninth Street.
Loveless Homes as Seen by a Governess
j
Vn ex-govern
rk World,. pa
iri tain spw les ol
"Family skelel
ex-overness, writing In the New
passes severe strictures on a
of soulety woman, till says:
lly skeletons cannot be hidden from
a governess. Bh Is not merely la tue
home but of it. Provided that one Is
lilenscd with the maternal Instinct And a
eympathetlc nature, she la often closer to
the children of the household than are the
patents. She sees parents aa they really
aie, through the eyea of their children,
Mini she heara the family skeletons rattle,
m the children bear them.
After twenty years' experience aa 4 gov
erness, commanding a good salary and
living among both the moderately rich and
the Inordinately rich, 1 can honeetly Bay
that money and ambition are building
etrange barriers between American parents
and American children. blood may be
thicker than water, but it cannot defy the
laws of propinquity and temperament, en-
lronment and personal Influence. In thou
sands of American bomea today children
aie not what their parents make them, but
what their teachers, governesses yes, and
rvanta make them.
In certain fashionable homes the father
is more like a visitor than a member of
the family circle. His wife belongs not to
her children, but to the world. If she Is
to hold her own In the social game, she
must be always in II When her children
aie awakeolDg to their nursery and school
life she Is Just returning from a dance or
a ball. When her children are preparing
for bed ahe is absorbed in dreading for
dinner, the play or the cotillon.
"Now it's time for you to-atart fBr school,
Reggie, darling. Good-bye. No. don't klsa
me! How many times must t tell you that
and retires late, but she '"as j even less
time to her children. When they . come
home at noon she has gone to a bridge
whist luncheon. After school closes for the
day they return to a motherless home, for
she Is at a club meeting or a tea or a
muUtale.
Kvery once In a while a dreadful tragedy
overtakes such an unmothered family, a
tragedy so appalling that there is no hush
ing it up. Police department and press are
rrantlcally appealed to. And when the
details of the affair are unearthed, the
public Is very apt, especially after reading
touching accounts of the mother's grief, to
exclaim: "What an ungrateful child. Buoh
lovely parents and such a charming home."
The American parent la the most gener
ous in the world, with everything except
The official figures for the consumption
of alcoholio beverages In thla country show
that the per capita consumption of spirits
fell from 2.52 gallons In 1840 to 1.S7 gallons i kissing. Is unsanitary?"
In 109. !
Since the drinking of spirits Is almost
entirely confined to whisky, rum, gin and
brandy, It Is apparent that the consump
tion of the liquors which contain tha larg
est proportion of alcohol has been reduced
about half.
If the figures for the closing decades of
the eighteenth and the early decades of
the nineteenth centuries were available,
says the Independent, they would show
that there waa even more "hard drinking"
at this early period.
The consumption of wine haa more than
doubled from 1&40 to I!). Increasing from
.2 to .70 gallons. A large part pf this In
crease Is due to the consumption of na
tive wines.
When the per capita consumption of beer
and ale Is considered, the greatest change
Is apparent. This has Increased from 1.3
what goes to build character tn children gallons In IS) to 1S.97 gallons In 1S09. To
personal Influence. An American mother how great an extent this change Is due
will sacrifice her own love of good clothes to ,h German Immigration, which first
and good times that her daughter mav 1 came to this country In large numbers
have them. She will arrange functions
that will advame hor daughter's social
interests. She will risk health and eyesight
to supply her daughter the band-made rai
ment Khlch Is now supposed to be the
hall uurk of the truly smart young woman,
but she is too absorbed in all this to really
get close to her daughter's real life in
terestto actually know the real girl.
When I bear the world aay of a girl.
"What an ungrateful daughter," I catoh
myself axklng what had the girl to be
grateful for hand-embroidered lingerie or
mother-love? We talk about the dangers
which surround the working girl, starving
Where the family wealth la not so great I for food and suffering for warm clothing
the mother must work all the harder to W hat of the girl whose heart is starving
achieve soda! aucveaa, bhe rises early In the midst of material luxury?
Boy Father to the Man
J
l.lltle Ceorgte offended a genial visitor
and brought uonfuaton dlie upon the adult
members of the family In the most Inno
cent of manners.
"Come here, Bonnie," said the visitor, who
luted youngsters, 'and 111 tell you a
story."
oh, tell tne about your fights!" begged
'.irgle, budding man to the backbone.
ily tights! Oh I m nut much i f a
fighter. I've never done enough fighting ! daddy
le speak of." was the laughing reply, j s)uea!
' but""
"Hut." eagerly Interrupted Georgia, "you'
must have had fights for I heard papa . it
.... - - 1 ...1.4 1 1 . . .mi h . r-. nnm 'i f 1
mm j tv, 1 1 m iviu uiuiuv, j -.. w..w ,
the f reeteet booae fighters he ever knew'"
tiny Jeosie, pricking up her ears.
"No, dear. Mr. Uraxton failed In business.'
"Oh!
child.
Head failure!" cried the clever
about 1848, Is, of course, problematical,
Many of the wine drinking races, like the
Italians, after a brief residence In thl
country become consumers of beer.
Although there has been a great Increase
In the total consumption of Intoxicants
during the period from 1840 to 1909, there
has been a change from those drinks con
taining a high percentage of alcohol to
those containing a low percentage and
this is the one cause for encouragement.
"Oh, child, how could you pat the dog?
Now we must sterilise your hands all over
again and steam them. Th-ie; Now. here
ere your antiseptic gloves et your hands
Into them quickly."
"Here's your Individual car strap, Percy.
Be careful not to touch any other. And
here are your two tubes of germicide and
a vaporlxer; gargle every aven hour from
this bottle, and sniff this one every odd
hour."
Here's your doctor's certificate in it
antiseptic case. Show It to the teacher it
he insists on cutting out your tonsils again,
and tell him I'm aure your adenoids have
not grown again since your operation last
week."
The little girl from the city had been
questioning the old farmer, touching on
many things about the place.
"And now," she said in conclusion, "I'd
like to ask you just one thing more."
"Fire away," said the farmer, good nat
uredly. "What I wanted to know," said the un
tiring little questioner, "la. when you have
flinched milking the cow, how do you turn
It off?"
Name and Address. School. Vrar.
Florence M. Anderson, Sixty-second and Center Sis.. High 1S
Nelle E. Ahdernon. 2429 ractflc St Mason . . . 1897
Hobert Applegate, 2212 Ogden St .Miller l'mk 1905
Alva Barker, 170.1 Castellur St CaHtellar 1900
'Arthur Dearta, 1916 California St Ceutral 1899
Harold Dowlly, The Merrlam Farnam 1902
George C. Deachler. 3331 Fowler Ave Moninoutli Park ...1901
Lottie Cohen, 1116 North Eighteenth St . Cbkh 1899
Edwin Carson. 2222 Miami St .....High 1892
Harry Dewey, 4."..12 North Thirty-ninth St Outial Turk 1901
Frank Dewey, 4532 North Thirty-ninth St Central Park 1900
Clarence Falconbury, 2612 Franklin St High 1895
lone Fogg, 502 North Twentieth St High 1895
Leander Ferrpgute, 417 Poppleton Ave Train 1904
Ethel M. Foyle, 1818 North Eighteenth St High 1895
Katheriue Could, 1919 Hlnney St High 1896
Harry Johnson, 3115 Miami St Howard Kennedy. .1901
iLuludell Kern, 2855 Ohio St High 1895
Arthur Klauschie, 409 Hickory St Train 1899
Edmund Jay Ledyard, 3914 North Eighteenth St. . . .High 1893
Minnie Langer, 1929 South Twenty-first St Cautellar 1898
Stewart Landberg, 824 Hickory St Lincoln 1896
Mildred Murphy, 1837 North Nineteenth St Kellom 1896
Ella Miller, 2322 North Thirtieth St ..Howard Kennedy ..1898
John C. McBrlde, 2228 8outh Eleventh 8t St. Patrick 1898
Harry Madsen, 4518 North Fifteenth 8t Sherman 1904
Joseph Morrlssey, 408 Pierce St Pacific 1900
Isabel Miller, 428 North Twenty-fourth St Saunders 1896
Vesta Melvln, 2743 Crown Point Ave Miller Park 1900
Gertrude Nielsen, 2007 Martha St Castellar ........1896
"Mary 8. O'Donnell, 1605 Cerby St Sared Heart ..;.'. 1 903
Arthur Peterson, 3429 Patrick Ave Frankliu ........1898
Walter P. Qulnn, 2952 South Twenty-ninth Ave. ... Windsor .1899
John H. Itobb, 2743 Crown Point Ave Miller Park 1900
Harry H. Singer, 2022 California St.. High 1893
Inger Smith, 1030 South Fortieth St y Deals 1899
Lily Stace. 1913 Douglas St Central 1899
Hilda Shannon, 3323 Seward High 1894
Eugene E. Simmons, 3009 Haskell St Windsor 1897
Walter Sleborg, 1930 South Twentieth St Castellar .1904
Rood Smith, 4216 Douglaa St Saunders 1902
Antonio Thomas, 2710 South Twentieth Bt St. Patrick 189S
Floyd H. Taylor, 5218 North Thirty-eighth St Central Park, 1902
Willie Vomacka, 1031 Dominion St Forem 1905
Lura E. Wllbourn, Thirty-first St. and Ames Ave. . . .Monmouth Park. ..1904
"Now run along, dearie. "Don't breathe
when the wind is blowing or any dust fly
ing or any people passing. Don't breathe
at all if you can help It "Carolyn WellB
In Judge.
Mrs. Philip Snowden, the English suf
fragette, began at a dinner in New York
her reply to a toast on "Marriage" with
the words:
"I once asked a little girl If she knew ,
what leisure was.
" 'Yes,' she replied. 'Leisure Is the place
where married people repent.' "New York
Tribune.
I
She Cried "Most Beautifully"
Deep breathing, which draws the blood
from the brain to the lungs, la one of the
most effective cures for insomnia.
a pass.
Three Heasoas.
"1 want a pass."
"Pass? Yau're no't entitled to
You are not an employe. Sorry."
"No, but here the anti-pass law aays free
transportation can be granted .to 'necea
ssry caretakers of live stock, poultry and
fruit 1 Well. I'm going on this trip with
an aunt that's a hen there's your poul
try; a girl that's a peach there's your
fruit; and a nephew that'a a mule there's
your live stock. Cilmme a pass." Krle
A little girl was visiting Old Point for the
first time, and her father took her to bathe
In the ocean. Nothing more extensive
than the bathtub at home had been her ex
perience. As she waded out, tightly holding her
father's hand, ehe was presently up to ber
neck in the water.
"Oh, papa," she exclaimed, "take me out;
It's too full." Harper's Magaslne.
The villi tor And what la your baby sis
ter's name?
The Child It's Msbel Elizabeth Gwen
dolen Jane, but we haven't told her yet."
The Century.
J
until today," said Mrs.
lot of suffering there Is
ot So Slaw.
Some flings at Philadelphia
Are made, but never meant:
I don't believe they are so slow
They couldn't fast In Lent
T. E.
M.
Loretta's Looking Glass-Holds it Up to "Right Man" Question
It Is told of a southern writer that, being
the proud poasessor of a prize hog, he lu
the bosom of his family repeated the fine
old "gag" about using all the hog but the
squeal. .
Later his small sun rushed Into the pa
rental presence, triumphantly bearing a
phonograph.
"We needn't waste any of that pig.
be shouted, "fur I've got tho
"I never knew
Empson, "what i
In the world."
"What brought It home to you?" asked
Willie Empson.
"A woman. 1 never saw anybody In such
awful distress. Pour soul, 1 can't think
of her even now without crying myself.
" Mrs. Empson,' she said 1 don't know
how she found out my name, but she dldJ
'I want to ask a favor of you. May I come
In?'
" 'Certainly,' I said. Come right on In.
If there Is anything I can do fur you 1
shall he glad to do it.'
" 'There is something you can do,' she
said. 'I used to live In this flat. It was,
let ma see three, four, five, yes, it was
five years ago. 1 occupied the aide room
that looks out over the churchyard and
that picturesque church.'
" 'Yes,' said 1, 'there Is such a room. It
ia occupied by my eldest son.'
"Then she asked me if she might see
the room.
" 'I hope you will not think me crazy,
she said, 'but I believe I should feel bet
ter If I could UBt sit in that room for a
few minutes. It Is the dearest spot on
earth to me. The greatest Joy and the
greatest sorrow of my life were experi
enced In that room. Love came to me
there, and hope and death. I wunl to see
the place again.'
Mrs. Empson wiped her eyes.
"It was pitiful," she said. "Of course, I
showed her the room. She sat down on the
edge of the bod and sobbed and cried as
if her heart would break. I never felt so
sorry- for anybody in my lite. I couldn t
stand it to Wilms such gnul. 1 went out
and shut the door and left here there to
fight It out alone."
Mr. Kmpaon'x own voice was husky when
he spoke.
"Pour woman." he said. "1 guess we
don't know half what Is going on In the
world. How long did she stay V"
About fifteen minutes. 1 only saw her
a moment w hen site came out. She had to
hulny to catch a train, hue just stopped
to thank me and to say goodbye."
"Had to catch a train?" said Willie Emp
son. "Oh, 1 say!"
Then he made a dash for his own roman
tic den.
"Bhe got away Willi that silver comb
and brush, the opera lasee, a pair of
cuff buttons and Jlv in cash, "" tali Willi:.
"Oh, mother!"
Mrs. Empson was indignant hut still
sympathetic.
"1 don't care If she was a thief," she
said. "She certainly knew how to cry the
most beautifully of anybody I ever
knew." Si. Louis Kepubllc.
Stoggs Kept Boring In
Daily Health Uint
i
How do you like your new teacher'' I
was ssked of a nice little boy, Just 'mak
ing" a freak grade.
" Oh, she's all right," ancaered the small
one. ' ul she's getting a little old "
How eld. dear? What do you call old?"
jiieeiloned the curious adult-
J
Dry hot applications at the painful polnit
often do much to relieve neuralgic pains.
alt or bran heated and placid ia a bag,
which should also be heated, Is a Con
venient method of application.
OB, she must be !" If she's a day!'
i lie quick rvl.
came
' Mr. ttraatoa haa gone to the wall- utter
failure!"' -mourned Tommy's papa, hreak
m tad'nes to Tommx's mamma. "A
kat a failure aa we ve had tn )ais"
"Wa-U to atari failure, paa7 ' easrUd
Mr the Hied.
The tki anger Are you guile aure that
that was a marriage license you gate me
last month?
The Official if course! What's the mat
ter? f-
The stranger Weil, 1 ve lived a slog's
Lis ever aitua,
My Desr I-oretta: You think there la a
"ristit man" for earh girl? You seem to
think of so many thing that Interest girls
that he ought to come up for eouitldxra
tlon. Every girl thinks about him And
he Interests women, too, especially if they
have married the wrong one. Poetry and
ancient history are full of loves of right
men and girls And I know some girls who
absolutely believe thai there le Just one.
the affinity, the "right man.'. I should
love to have you answer this question.
PANIHJKA.
You are at your old tricks. Pandora. You
have let out your disconcerting question,
then you coolly sit down on tne box and
shut Hope In. I feel like throwing up my
hands and pleading In slangy eloquence:
"Ask me something easy!"
I do not know. The only woman I have
known who felt positive about It was one
whose "right man" died In the early stages
of their engagement. It Is too gruesome
to conclude thai the right man is the dead
Those ancient lovereeses you refer to
mostly died young. The ones who lived
long enough to afford any practical data
never seemed to get beyond the experi
mental point. 'Cleopatra tried out a num
ber of men. She mav, in each instance,
have believed ahe had found the "right
one." Romantic history which fictltionlsts
have not embellished takea the ground that
she waa peeping over his shoulder, using
him aa a prop, while she planned further
investigation to see If his imperial master
was not the real right tuaa. -
But thla Is what I think. If a man comes
along who shows no glaring differences
from your Ideal, he is the "rlgbt man" for
you. And, it he continues not to do any
thing to positively prove that he la ths
wrong one. I know girls well enough to
count on their habit of Idealization, and I
predict that you will never find out that
be Is nut the "right one."
Hut I know women who have had three
nil-Lands arid found happiness with all.
They could each be the right one. I'nless
this Just a suggestion tonirn rhanKe their
tastes In men periodically as they do their
skins.
It s a bit disconcerting to think that the
man you marry tomorrow, believing him to
be the "right one." may be the wrong one
in five or six years But it has happened.
Home tlmea the period of rlghtuews Is even
shorter. We will not mention our friends;
but there was Josephine. She thought Na
poleon was the right man when she mar
ried him. She eould not have thought it
later when he pinched her cheeks to hurt,
not In fun and poked her a hen she knelt
in prayer, not to siwak of other unmis
takable proofs of his unfitness.
Do you know, I do not believe there la
an answer to this question. It is like) "How
eld Is Ann?" But it Is Interesting-.
Htoggs Is a very sociable man. He likes
to talk with any person with whom he
happens to be traveling. He made a trip
up the little Miami railroad the other day,
and found a seat alongside of a solemn
looking man who kept his gaze out of the
window. Ktoggs tried to catch his eye so
sa to open a conversation with him, but he
didn't succeed.
FtoRgs offered the man his paper. The
man shook his head without looking
around. The conductor came along, and
Btoggs said to himself. "Purely he must
look around now," but lie didn t
A man in front handed out two tickets
and pointed silently to blOKK s companion.
Htogga began to grow uneasy. It waa the
longest time he had ever been In a stran
ger's company without finding out some
thing about him where he was po!nting
for, at least.
At length the brakeman came wlih some
water, and the man turned around to gel
some Mtoggs availed himself of the op
portunity to say:
"doing far east as New York?"
"No," growled ths man.
Stoggs waited until the stranger had,
quaffed a pietty liberal tjuatf. when lie
remarked: ' .
"New Voik is a dull place at this time of
year, anyhow, llebbe you're sulking fop
I'iilladi iphia l sue wheihrr tiie old town 4
changed any since the exposHiiin."
The surly man gave an impatient ahaka
of his head.
"Perhaps Cleveland's vour destination T
put in Stoggs, not at all disconcerted,
"No," ths man growled.
"Can't be you're going this roundabout
way to Chicago?"
To this the stranger didn't offer a reply
of any kind. Then Stoxgs rosu up and
twiHted around a little, fronting the slranv
ger, and said:
"I s'pose you've no objection to telling
where you are going?" i
"Hung It!" cried the man. "I'm going uo
for seven years!"
Then the deputy sheriff in front told
Ktocxs that bed rather not have folks
talking to his prisoners, and SlOKgt hadn't
anything further to say. Ilailroad, ilu.'g
Magazine. , ,
