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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (March 11, 1911)
1!) V TIIKHKK: OMAHA. SATtllDAV, MARCH 11. ge Her Husband's Voice BY ameiib man. ' Th amateur wife looked out of the din ing room window and even In the waning light of the late afternoon It wan apparent to her that the tires and shrubs In the back garden were beginning to think of tthelr spring clothes. It Is needles to nay that the young per sou gazing wistfully out at the yellow green tint of the stripped lilac and syrlnga boshes felt a personal xy m path y for their dumbly vlilbl yearning!!. Hhe, too, wanted new clothes, and as she ilood there a Vision rose before her of herself as sh planned to look la a new Faster bonnet and sown. This time, eh said to herself, she would discard her winter garment of repentance only In favor of a costume which should fulfill e-very requirement of her personal taste. Far too long, she said to herself mlll laotly, had she consulted the wishes and prejudices of other persons or, to be ac curateanother .person. And as she made this declaration of sartorial Independence the key of that "other person" turned In the door and the Post Graduate Husband entered the room.. "A penny for your thoughts!" he ex claimed, dodging the mad embraces of N 'oof-Woof, the collie. 'They'-dr cost more than a penny they're vry expensive, thoughts," replied the Amateur Wife, coming to the point at oi.ee." "I'm planning my lJastcr gown." "Well?" Inquired her husband in an un usually receptive tone. , "Well:" eohocd his wife, as she came forward with her most winning smile. "I've decided all about It! JuM what color ll Is to be and everything! Now for once J want ti have my hat and gown Just ex actly aa I like them without asking or tatting ah advice from an body!" Ir 'ber husband understood this pointed reference to himself lie gave no sign. "You won't mind if I have my spring clothes Just the way I want them, will you. dear?" cooed the Amateur Wife persuas ively. ..(.. . "I'ertainly not you order anything you likej" llr Husband rejoined. "Oh, I'm so glad!" 111 Wife ejaculated. "For the first time In my life I'm going to buy some-thing to suit myself. I'ntll we were married mv sister always advised me about my clothes that Is, she bullied me Into following her taate and ever since I've had to follow yours." The 'Amateur Wife's algh of meek sub mission, was eloquent. "Go ahead, dear, and get anything short f a harem skirt you want." he replied. "Well, it's going to be violet, to begin with. 1 think I'll have a surplice waist and a plain skirt. I haven't quite decided what the gultnpe la to be yet" "I don't think violet would bo becoming to you. Vr'hy don't you get green, or dark bluer ' ., . "Because. I prefer violet! I've always 'wanted 4 vtoist dress and I've never" bad "one!" Ifla Wife replied, "I thought you said you weren't going to Interfere!" tJndoing of Mr. Uplift . J- ' BT LAFATKTTB PARKS. "I whs oil the roof a little while tonight looking at (be stars," announces Mr. Up lift to young Mr. Uplift, In an effort to bring abotit a closer acquaintance between hla son and heir and the heavenly bodies. "Are those dames rehearsing again over In Arlon 11811?" Bon eagerly queries, turn ing toward the stairway as If about to de part to the roof. "This Is about the time they pnt on those Harem skirts," adds young Mr. Uplift, whose astronomical ability is largely-confined to the dlsoovery of earthly phenomena. ( . 1 ' "I wish you to distinctly understand, young man. that I am speaking exclusively of heavenly ' bodies," frigidly asserts Father.' furtively looking toward the din ing room, where Mrs. Uplift Is within ear shot. - "That little blonde gazelle Is certainly classy enough to line up with a bunch of sure thing angels," declares Bon with much enthusiasm. "If I was holding down St. Peter's Job, sh certainly could have a pass key and a season ticket admitting her to all parts of the house.'' "This young woman may be all that you say," Father admits, cautiously, In a tone of voice so low hla better half cannot hear, "but I am speaking of the stars up In the air, (o ne a subject of peculiar facslna tlon." "You're not the first one. Pop, believe me, who's gone up In the air over stars," irinliids ton. VW'hen Little Bright Eyes of the great V hits Way, gets her hypnotic lamps on a guy, married or single, be might just as well kiss himself goodby." "S s-s-h-h!" warns Father, as his spouse appears In the offing, with an alert ear. "My excursions Into the realms of astron omy have never led me across the foot lights of Broadway. The Milky Way Is nut so dangerous and is just as attractive to nie." "Your dope on the danger xone Is good," Son avers. "Anybody can take a peek at the Milky Way and wonder what the tiny twinkling stars are twinkling about and it won't cost him a cent. On the other hand, sometimes she wears her wedding ling." blythly describee Son, "but tnat fact doesn't make the White Way star any the les attractive, but only the more "expensive to buy food for." "The evenings have a very deceptive length now owing to the unusual solar Irig1itnes," observes Father, striving to turn the conversation along other lines. "Maybe they Just seem longer to you," suggests Ron. "I've had 'em come that way myself. Along Broadway we have very large evenings, but there's something doing every nili)ute. o they never seem to be long." - "That certainly Is a peculiar phenom enon," admits Fsther. ' "Iave It to the Big Alley to be there with the freak stuff," boasts Bon. "There are so many marvellous things In the solar system," explains Father, "that 1 never tire of studying the subject." ''Broadway has a bunch of systems all Its own, and the boys that frame them up never get tired of working 'em," confides ou. "The mystery that envelope the heavenly stars Is on of the most alluring features to me," Father declares. "If there's any more mysXery around the sky twinklers than there ' Is about the Broadway Variety," Informs Son. "they've . got to keep you jrueaaing moat of the time." "Ue of the most Interesting sights for the city dwellers." recommends Father, "Is lo wau h the sua set and the evening stars appear ." "Another very pretty lit tie stunt that I kuow to be all right." a4veauaa Sun. "I ArPun?t on Violet Harem SkirU Appuea lo William women. Youb like to fvrm'lU A STJJA1T-JACKET SHE oPSFu. "Oh. suit yourself!" exclaimed the Post Graduate Husband, "I only want you to look well. Hut, of course, If you don't care" Perhaps it was the electricity generated by this last remark which caused Woof- ravorite resting Place and begin to circle madly about the dining room table, under which Laura- j the now cat had been purring contentedly. "It's not going to be a suit, but a dress!" in Wife continued. "Not tight fitting. I hope!" exclaimed Her Husband, tactlessly. "You're much too fat!" The brown eyes of the Amateur Wife flashed ominously. "Have you decided how many buttons my new dress is. to have?" she Inquired, with quiet sarcasm. ('I'm only trying to keep you from look ing ridiculous," the Post Graduate Hus band replied. "You can't dress like a girl of sixteen any more, and you don't seem to realize it. And then, you. see, I have to go out with you," he added. At that the floodgates opened. The big brown eyes of the Amateur Wife filled with tears her hands trembled. "There you go giving me more advice! I really think you'd like to put me In a strattjaeket!" she sobbed. Woof-Woof began to bark In sympathy, and even the apathetic cat ceased purring. The Post Graduate Husband muttered to himself: "Was there to be a long evening of feud over an Easter hat?" Suddenly, however, Ills Wife smiled through her tears. "I'll tell you what I'll do," she said, as one offering him a kingdom. "I'll get two dresses. One absolutely to suit myself and another just to please you. And If you like you can pick It out . for me yourself." (Copyright, Ml, by the N. Y. Herald Co.) w ,SUr itt" krarnA hv Father vi Stirs. r -3-3 -HH WARNS FATHCaK u rWO awuat .etr-e-ei3 irr--Mac OFFING.- to see home a few of the stars while the sun Is rising." "Sunrise Is a pleasure seldom enjoyed by us city folks," deplores Father. "One must be a person of leisure to devote him' self to the study of the stars." "'All that 1 ask la coin," hums Son to the tune of a popular air. "Give rae plenty of the loag green and you'll find your Willie one of the busiest Utile star gazers that even strolled down the Great White Way. (Copyright, 1911, by the N. TS Herald Co.) r Flayed Peddler's Game The genuine Tanke peddler passed out of existence with the creation of t'he "notion store," but he was a most Interesting char acter, astonishingly sharp and frequently amusing. One such appeared In a general store In a southern town on one occasion, deposited his pack n the floor and re marked fo the merchant: "I guess I couldn't drive a trade with you, colonel?" "I reckon you calculate just about right, mas the decided reply of the merchant who had "had dealings" with Yankee peddlers on previous occasions. "Get out "Oh. well, don't get riled up no harm done. Now just look at this dosen genuine raaor strops, easy worth IS let you hav 'em for l, colonel." "I wouldn't touch any of your trash you get out." the merchant declared. "Well, now. colonel. 1 always like to do soma business In a place. Tell you what I'll bet you IS that If you make an otter for them strops we'll make a trade." "I'll go you," said the merchant, "and." he added when the stakes had been put up. "I'll give you a quarter for the strops." They re yourn, colonel." said the Yankee, pocketed the wager. Pellt Uisciis. "Miss KlejjQor Robeon, or, rather Mrs. August Belmont." said a. dramatic crltta of 'w York, "has a very pretty wit. "Miss Kobson once attended a first night at a Broadway theater. The leading wo rn In the new play waa a poor actress rather a ranter. At th end of the second act. however, Mia Kobson s party went back to offer Its congratulailona. Th leading woman was found in hr drssntxuj room In profus Brspli-tlua. As sh) mopped her face Mut Koboa couldn't rtst say teg: " 'How well your skla acts." " Ml. ' LITTLE' land's Testimony. 1IS:1? Thy testlmones are wonderful. One of the most convincing arguments to substantiate anything Is testimony. "1 know," "I saw." "I experienced " Varied and accumulative testimony carries con viction and acceptance, if the mind and hnart sway the will. Let us come this morning with m nd as heart to the testimonies of Ood. The testimonies of nature first arrest our attention. The order. the design. the glories In mountain and valley. In fruit and flower; In animal and Insect. Then, whfn we let our minds wander out Into space and think of other worlds, we do in deed ask: What a God Is the great God. Imminent yet personal, and to that extent apart from tho world. With the naked eye by dy we aee the sun, by night we see the moon and Blare, whose nurrber viewed with the naked eye, throughout the world and throughout the year, Is about 8,0. With only five exceptions, these are all great blazing suns. Higher telescopic powers rapidly Increase these until, with the largest refractors, we have viewed 100,000.000 stars, and by long exposures of the photographic plnie, these are multiplied until, as one astronomer says, there are at the least l.OOO.OnO.ftOO stars within our reach. As our own sun la but the beginning of the more than halt a thousand worlds within Its system, so thta multitude of the heavenly host be bu h wretlon of the vastly greater muiuiuuB us yri uiiriiuwh. inc heavens declare the glory of God and the firmament shows His handwork. "When 1 consider Thy heavens the work of Thy fingers, the moon and the stars, which Thou has ordained; what Is man that Thou art mindful of him? And the son of man, that Thou vlsiteth him?" God is. The testimonies of the Bible 4 little book, but a very telling book, is In circu lation, it is by Senator Beveridge of In diana, it Is called "The Bible as Good Reading." Companion on a fishing trip. "I wish I had something to read." Head the Bible. As one reads the question is asked: Is that there? Is that there? Ad venture, love. Intrigue, David. Moses, laws for bodily health, cleanliness. laws of brotherllness, justice, mercy, etc. Th plc- f Beautiful Forms, The first thing which strikes a visitor In Rhodesia Is the unexpected beauty of the black race the beauty, that Is, of their bodies, for their faces only escape ugliness In our eyes In so far as they depart from the negro type. Photography can seize the ugliness, but the beauty, for some reason not to obvious, It seldom captures. This beauty no doubt partly consists In the fine carriage, the free movements, of these chosen and disciplined children of severe Mother Nature. If the sculptors of old had seen negroes heaving huge masses of Iron ore from a lighter to a ship, their Ideal strong man would have been different and more beautiful. The black hercules has no hug framework of bone, no lumps and cords of muscle. His limbs are rounded and nothing In his frame appears very massive. Th firm flesh, the velvety brown- black skin, flow smooth, as It were, over muscles the hardness and power of which would hardly be guessed until he Is seen lifting a big weight, or. It may be, chasing a buck with long elastic bounds hardly Interior to Its own. And the youths and maidens, at an age when In Europe they would be skinny, what slender yet rounded limbs! What up. right well-poised grace of body! But the women and girls are comparatively seldom met outside the kraals. Yet I remember on a certain road two upright young women carrying on their heads what appeared to b bright green gourds- by Way ot water Jars. With these on their heads they bounded out of the roadway before the ap proaching motor car with the grace and agility of startled reedbuck. Their short kilts and pinafore bodices, open down th HlESOLOTIOK!'SE .as,,,.., gBll4 tettiWSakcw Iwt P T 0t Tdi C fcstt '' t V "I WILLJQE KM HIE ... Si1" ter. X. R. Curry, pastor Calvary Bap. list. Twenty-fifth and Hamilton. ture of sin. the picture of holiness, the picture of grace. Not of man-not of man. Man could not writ It. j The Bible bears -fts testimony to divine j authorship, by Its accurate conceptions of : science at a time when science had not yet ! come Into existence. It says: In tho be- j ginning the yorld was wtihout form. etc. This accords with science, which says the earth was a big, glowing ball. A great German scientist said that Moses was a wonderful geologist, wherever he got his knowledge. He has never been contra- dieted In his statement making plant lifo first. Whence came the wisdom that caused Job to say: "The stars are beyond the number to be counted?" When the telescope came It was seen that sn.fl00.WX of suns were In the Milky Way alone. Where did he get the wisdom to declare, at a time when the very w stst men were say ing that the world was supported on an elephant or a tortoise? Were did Isaiah get the wisdom to say that the stellar mass was moving through ether, speaking In the enact words of science? Neither Job nor Isaiah learned thMr wisdom from a school. Therefore, their accurate con ceptions of science are not from, the wis- dom of man, and therefore the Bible Is not Little Clothing j sides and held by slight straps over the shoulder, were no 111 compromise between the disfiguring garments of civilisation and the savage leopard skin or girdle. The history of the reprobation of the human form and the elevation of mere clothes-wearing Into a Christian and cardi nal virtue. Is an amusing but deplorable page In the chronicles of superstition Strange that it should be most deeply rooted In the cleanly and Protestant Briton, since It was originated by primitive monks, who regarded personal cleanliness with almost as unfavorable an eye as nudity. A Cruel Some cruel Joker has been perpetratlng a hoax at the expense of the London Times and two Irish newspapers. In a letter to the Times he gave details "of a cruel and heartless desertion of the victim of a so called 'unhallowed union' by the partner who should have remained faithful to her for life." The letter proceeded: "The case has received considerable notice In the Belfast News Letter and the North era Whig. "The poor mother, thinking that at least she should have her children to console her, was, however, not only abandoned by her natural protector, but robbed of her offspring. 'ir, this occurred close to Bangor, within twelve miles of Belfast, and I am In a WEEK of man. The fa I of Bain Ion. of Greece, of Rome. re some of the things, told cen turies before they hnppened. The Ulhle named Cyrus before he was horn, and said he should he sent to destroy Kuhylon: and 21" years before Alexander va horn It i testified that he should be the first king of Greece When Tyre whs in its gltx-y. Its streets filled with population, Its bazars with the merchandise; of the world, it war. prophesied that it should be destroyed. Thy testimonies are wonderful. The tes timony of Christ. I lityre spoken of the Bihle on its testimonies to God. I did not say a word about Christ. There would not be much of a Ulhle for us with Jesus out of it. The New Testament Is Immeasurably superior to the Old, because we have the face of Jesus. The holy of holies of the New Testament Is the Gospels, because It Is here we look strictly Into the eyes of Jesus. We speak of the Gospel: What Is It? Jesus. The testimony of Christ to the wonders of God. 1 have spoken to you about Mr. Beveridge's book, "The Bible I Good Reading." He has a chapter on 1v,d nJ Mos- but no chapter on t hrlst. He dismisses Him. or rather, refers to It ,n ,ucn a wa' B" lo nmke tnat sentence more impressive than If he had written a chapter or volume. "As to Christ. I will not attempt Him. He is apart. You must see Hir-or yourself." Another surprise Is that His life should he written by four such humble men not ignorant, but humble men. Not strictly scholars, though, that these men should wr)te tna llfe of a sinless man, should lf,ave ou, , mucn. and sUll give us what they did. Read St. Mark's gospel from be ginning to end. It is probably the oldest of all the gospels, the shortest of them all, the most graphic of them all, and then go to the others, concluding with John. And at the conclusion of It all you will say, "What a testimony of God.." For such a one must have come from God. He was God Incarnate In the flesh. The Testimonies of Christians I verily believe the testimonies of Christians' are the greatest wonders of God. I say that In the light of Jesus' own words In the 14th of St. John "These works shall ye do, and greater than these shall you do, because I go unto the Father." Probably the mere wearing of clothes Is In Itself Inimical to perfect physical de velopment. The native African does not need them. Man will always wear something; but the savage regards clothes as ornaments, and ornaments as clothes Probably a married Mashona woman would rather die than appear without the ring round her shaven head. On the other hand, not long ago a Mashona chief earnestly besought a mis sionary to give him a pair of trousers, which the missionary, with some reluct ance, did. On the following Sunday, when the service was In full swing, the church door opened and the chief advanced up the aisle slowly and with majestic port, wear ing one half ot the trousers. He had shared the pair with his brother. Cornhlll Maga zine. Joke position to say that the foul robbery of flesh and blood was perpetrated by a mem ber of an Irish secret society. "No terms were dictated because no terms would have been accepted, and the unfor tunate creature was deprived of that which by all laws of nature was nearest and dearest to her. "But there la a bright side to the picture. I can say that the mother la In no state ot destitution. She la being at present amply provided for by a well known and re spected elder of the Presbyterian church." The three hoaxed Journals have now learned to their discomfiture that the fore going pathetlo story related to a cat whose kittens had been taken and drowned soon after their birth. CHANDOFEISA EOHE EEE'5 c5UNIORBlRTHDAY DgdR. 1,1 .II., .....I.. ,,,n.,u ,. ,,. in. I inn ii ii in i ''oTu'iikL DANIEL QVINLAN, 2311 Bancroft. Xaine and Adtros. Leonard O. Almqulst, 3610 Seward St Aloya A. Beck, 2215 South Nineteenth Thelnia Beemer, 2119 Seward St Vesta Reavers. 2618 South Thirty-second Ave Minnie Hartlett, Twenty-eighth Ave. and lioulevard. Kdna Hirss, 3308 Lincoln Houlevard Klianad Connad, 2604 Bristol St !. William Campon, 541 South Twenty-sixth St Lewis Cain. 2616 Brown St Harry S. Craig, 5820 North Thirty-sixth St Helen M. Dawson, 4016 Seward StJ) George G. Ersth, 1219 South Eleventh Louis Kates, 834 South Nineteenth St Sadie Katseh, 1407 South Thirteenth St Mildred Ferguson, Tenth Ave. H Elnora Gilmore, 5314 North Sixteenth Mary J. Hall, 3502 Poppleton Ave Arthur Kraft, 2707 South Twentieth St Grao Kallna, 1915 South Thirteenth St Lincoln 1900 v Clyde McCreary, 2013 Cass St .Central 1905 Floyd Maxey, 717 South Thirty-third St Farnam 1903 Ellen McHinnsey, 808 Hickory St .Lincoln 1905 Harold McCormack, 2619 Capitol Ave High 1894 Joseph It. Moore, 2719 Brown St Miller Park 1904 Katherine Nyland. '4932 North Seventeenth St Sherman 1897 Sam Nicotero, 2034 Pacific St Mason .....1899 Katherine Nefland Sherman 1897 Francis Netiel, West Center St Reals 1903 Eleanor OToole, 2623 South Thirty-seventh St Windsor 1900 Nathen Osheron, 1811 Lake St. Lake 1903 Gerald Petty, 4607 North Twenty-second St Saratoga 1905 Marguerite Powell, 4007 North Thirtieth 8t Howard Kennedy . .1900 James A. Park. Pratt and Thirty-eighth St ...Howard Kennedy. .1899 Mary Peel, 2550 Sahler St Sacred Heart 1899 Daniel Quinlan, 2311 Bancroft St St. Patrick 1902 Albert Ramacciottl, 2809 Mason St '. High 1895 Rica Rice, 1455 South Eighteenth St Cemeniaa 1905 Mary Run, 2011 Martha St St. Joseph 1905 Joseph Seidl, 2606 Decatur St Katy Segall, 1813 Burt St Ruth I. Stone, 2812 Woolworth Ave Guy Strlbling, -626 North Thirty-second Joy Tullis, 3 825 North Forty-first St Harold E. Vesh, 3012 Emmet St Hugh Vaughn, 2432 Larlmore St Sarah Wohlner, 1545 North Sixteenth Sarah Wohlner, 1605 Leavenworth St Qvrvirt Q1Vviin4-f rtci 4-V BY BOBBIE BABBLE Pompous as any powdered beau Who strutted In the long ago, The vain First Nlghter of today Fritters an entre' acte away. Voicing the latest anecdote Or naughtiest scandal that's afloat, And giving, bountiful and free, Scraps from his shocking memory. "Aha, my boy! You here tonight? I Fhow not half bad, but rather light. Poor house, though I Rather shabby crowd, Flashy and overdressed and loud! Why, bless my soul, I'm quite upset. The A8torgilts sit next me; yet. Though the production promised fair, I find their servants sealed there! "This last new dancer's Quite the thing! She's got young Gotrox on the string; Playing him heavy, so I'm told. Who says she's French? Pshaw! That won't hold! Her father was a truckman here Back In the 'nineties.' Ain't It queer About old Billionaire's divorce? I've known of It for months, ot couree. "BIngs wrote this new piece, did he? Well! Built it on yarns I used to tell At BIngs' suppers long ago. Oh, I don't mind, but don't you know If I'd been wiser, like as not I would have kept my blooming plot And written round It in a way That really would have been a play. " 'Act's on;' Come, Jet's sit out the play, Dull though It be. Well, anyway. Burma Woman's Paradise For women Burma is a veritable heaven on earth. No country elsewhere furnishes her more freedom, more opportunity. Even occidental countries cannot vie with Burma In this respect, according to a writer In the Southern Workman. Mrs. Burma outh!n everybody and everything. Moreover, she Is ubiquitous You stop at the Jewelry store containing millions of dollars worth of pearls and rubles and precious stones, and the person In charge of th establishment is a woman. Th salespeople are also women. You go to a fruit stall, and It Is a woman who owns and conducts It and . soils you a banana or a mango. At railroad stations a Burmese woman soils you the tickets, and a fair daughter of the land Is ready to take your dictation and do your type writing If you are looking for an amanu ensis. The Burmese woman is not only an ef ficient business woman, but a good mother. Her duties as mother and merchant do not Interfere with each other. In the slightest degre. Added to her superior Intelligence, the Burmese woman ha good look a bhe has eyes of a deep, liquid black. The fore head la usually high and well filled out. and there la a purity ot expression about the face. Her head Is val and sbapoiy, this effect being hetfgutaned by th man ner In which she dreeses her hair In a big kftot pa t9 of he heeuL lies 4re Is This'is the DayWe Celebrate March 11, 1911. School. Year. Franklin 1900 St .St. Joseph 1901 Kellom 1904 . Windsor .Vinton , Franklin .Sacred Heart . Karnam .... . Saratoga .Central Park .Walnut Hill . Lincoln . . . . . ..1901 ..1896 . .1899 . .1905 ..1897 . .1905 . .1900 . . 1902 . .1899 St , St .Leavenworth 1901 .St. Phllomena , . ..1904 .Cass 1896 .Sherman 1905 .Park n. 1905 .Castellar 1899 Long 1898 Cass 1899 Park 1901 St Webster 1904 Central Park . 1898 Howard Kennedy. .1901 Saratoga 1904 St Kellom 1900 Leavenworth 1900 Q iJ trm llr The First Nlghter. cum Since Lydla Thompson's British Blonde's' Chirped their songs and waved their wands There hasn't been a comlo show That's had the proper swing and go. Where's Nelly F. ? My memory pines For Pauline Markham's shapely lines. I'd give my' hat If I could see The lovely Lisa Weathersby!" (Copyright, 1911, by the N. Y. Herald Co.) white, with a tight fitting Jacket, with large sleeves, the lower part of th body being covered by a single bright silk petti coat, which also Is tight fitting and dis plays the figure like a modern sheath skirt. The woman of Burma Is cautious about wearing Jewelry. If she wears any any at all It must be of gold. Kh pow ders her face unsparingly and adorns her hair with a few flowers, usually artificial ones. Lincoln oa th Potato. Car. A veteran Philadelphia soldier, apropos of Lincoln's birthday, said at th. Union league: "Lli.coln used to Joka me about my super stitions. I carried, you know, a rabbit's foot for luck, " 'Look at this,' he said one day, and i he took from his pocket a potato. " 'What's that for?' I asked. " "For rheumatUm,' h replied. I haven't had a twinge of rheumatism sine I began carrying It.' " 'Wonderful,' said L " 'Yes,' said Lincoln, with his whlmslcaLi smil,' and still more wonderful is th fact that It's retroactive, too; fur I never hadJ a twinge before I began carrying U either." " f'f.lnl.. SmjaM- "Can I get off to go to th ball amir "Nix," answered th bead clerk. ' Furthermore, you will hav to wcrtt to night. Th otflc is going to play a AouU Leader, today ,",-Kanaa pt; J-r 1 r V . - 1 ' Tlvcy? I . S n A J w - m t i i : i, I il