c
The &ee Snea
-V
az,ire
I
tr
jFjiiEi Dees g5uitior Dirthdat-Dgdr
Undoing of Mr. Uplift
'Signs of the Coming Spring," Ar
gued by Father ?. Son.
BT LA r AT ETT E PAKKS.
This is ihe
"Thin advertisement describing how to
make money on a chicken farm, appeal
, wrongly to me." Mr. L'plift announces en-
4 ihuslastlcaily to his son and hplr. who in
poring over tha pages of a sartorial art
journal trying to deolds whether to pur
chase one uf those corset coat spring
suits.
"When you get tha chicken farm fever
It'a the slun spring la nearly here." yawns
young Mr Uilft, whose surplus gray mat
tar la busy striving, to aettla the momen
toua problem aa to whether the new tga
will be checked or striped.
Here a a t man In . Racine. Wis." eon
tlnuea Father, turning ovtr.the panes of
tha poultry periodical, "who atarted with
one ben six, ynars ago on a city lot and
liow he, haa two Ui'ana line, neniu,
Jw1 IjTiouth Rocka."
A U I Kl liri 1 1 ...t... w- . . .
rocki Just now." Bon declare, "than a
flock of hens big enough to scratch, the
original Plymouth rock off tha map. The
good old yellow backs for mine, and I'll
let the Methodist preachers hava the yel
low legs."
"I don't know of any business that yields
quicker returns," arguea Father. "than
raining chickens. There Isn't much work
about It. either. All one has to do la to act
the eggs or line an Incubator."
"Ami then set down and count the chick
ens before they hatch." " volunteers Son.
before his esteemed parent has time to
make bis point. "If the. Incubator doesn't
blow up or take a chill, or the setting hens
a on strike." he goes one, "there might be
enough hatched to keep the enighbora'
dogs busy chasing them off tha garden
truck."
, "Of course." admits Father, "there axe
chances In every line that one must be
prepared to take. J think there are splen
did opportunities In poultry raising for
)oung men with small capital."
"There was a yap In myy office." relates
Bon, "who had saved up a couple of bucks
In real money and he got the chicken rait
ing bug last spring. . He bought a chunck
of ground down by the seashor for a
poultry farm. - The. tide . happened !o be
out when he picked out tha place, but Ken
ha went down to build the coopa be found
nothing but a duck pond. Now he's fishing
for a livings"
Mistakes, like that will happen." Bays
wrather, "but more care ought to be taken.
There are a1 lot' of 'women who have done
f well in tha chicken business."
They ougni 10 unaersianu me nen.
pretty well." agrees Son. "But It's one
thing to talk It over with a bunch of set
ting hens and another proposition to coax
them to deliver tile goods. Since this new
chuntecler fad came out there's a bunch
of dames who think it would be nlca to
own a chicken ranch, if only to get the
The Kissing Hunch
None O'Nell. the statuesque theatrical'
atar. la somewhat of a faddist upon the
social, political and religious observances
f tha world, and an hour spent In peruning
her acre book la as Instructive aa a day
pent la a library, according to the Chicago
Intar-Ooaaa. Mlsa O'Nell has recently
complied a symposium upon the national
observance and significance of a kiss.
9 . "From tae earlleat recoras ox men nu
. Batlans." aha aaya, "klssmg has been con-
atdered and recognised aa an ordinance of
'LpatriaxohaV reverential and apostolic bene
J cWtlon, and notwithstanding tha medical
m J1u.1a inarUiitAil airlnat it uuin hvKianic
grounds, tha kiss haa and will continue
among; tha Teutonlo. Celtic and Latin
racea aa an evidence of devotion and
loyalty.
. "Aa a religious ceremony tha kiss haa
been consecrated from the earliest times
and appeara tu hava been an old Semitic
and Aryan, custom, for It la first men
tioned In tha Bible In Uenesis xxvli. 36,
when Isaac, thinking he la addressing
Esau, says to Jacob: 'Coma near, now,
and kiss me. my son.' In those days tha
kiss formed a part of the blessing be
stowed by a father on his son. Tha prac
tice of kissing la mentioned no lesa than
forty-one times In tha scrlpturea, but in
only three Instances do men and women
participate one, when Jacub kissed his
cousin; once In Proverbs, where the kiss Is
usd Illustrative of the temptations In a
yeung man's way. and once when Mary
klased the feet of Christ.
"Juiiaa betrayed tliu Messiah with a kiss.
'Ureet you ene another with a holy kiss,'
mute Paul to toe CurlnUiiana, and soma
of the Protestant seels still retain the kiss
aa part of Umj service of the Lord's supper.
"Savages rarely osculate. The salutations
cf tha Mingls, Malays. Polynesians,- the
Kakimos and Laplanders couslat chlofly of
smelling ' eacli other and rubbing nosea,
while la Thibet, Instead of greeting by an
adlteulve touch, the mode of salutation con
sists of ex u oiling the .tongue, but the etl
uuet cf the country dues not permit of any
phyolcai contact.
"Nortit American Inillans do not kiss -'
Siting In the presence of death, when they
profuly kiss the feet of their beloved de
parted ones.
"The native Australian and FIJI Islander'
salute with a hug like that of a bear.
'The Celtic race are not demonstrative
and rarely Ium iu public unless it Is In
fleeting after a l.mg absence. Ua rarely
kuMi tmcti other, UuuiEn very sclJciu.
"Tha Italians and Spaniards kiss only by
favor and are decidedly lax In their ovu
latory observance.
"The French kisa upon the sligheet prov
ocation. Sumetinus men have been known
to kisa each other several times during a
rlef conveisaUoo.
"The Chinese and Japanese never kisa
s mother will not even kiss her child.
"America baa copied to a great extent
the example ee by tha French and carry
klrstng to aa excess.
"But the Russians are today recognised
aa the champion kissing nation of the
world. The kiss la the national salute and
lias been In vogue from early ages, it was
handed down from oriental ancestors and
la mora of a greeting than a caress. Fath
ers and sous kiss, whole regiments kiss,
military officers kiss. The cur kisses his
officers, and on tha day of a field review
there are almost aa many kiseea exchanged
s there are shots. If a Juvenile cadet
for. oistlnguiehes Itself the imperial sa
lute Is bestowed upon tha head boy, who
passes it on to the next boy. and' so on
through the lines, until it haa gone through
e whole aember by proxy front one to
another.
"On a fete day tha mlstreaw ot a Kuasian
household kisses not oniy her maid servant,
but her men servants also, and If there be
a gentleman visitor, aha respectfully kiasoa
. A VOi THAVT SfRWCr ti
NEKSL.Y .
feathers to make up Into suits of clothes
and opera cloaks."
"The Idea of raising poultry In tha back
yard of a city lot Isn't a bad one." sug
gests Father. "A man ought to get enough
for his own use."
"You'd have to keep 'em In a burglar
proof safe over night," warnea Son, "If
you wanted to be sure to find 'em In the
morning. Every chocolate colored bell
boy In Harlem would be hanging around
our back yard looking for a chance to go
into the chicken raising business without
ouy capital."
"If It were possible for city dwellers to
raise chickens tha cost of living would be
greatly reduced," Father believes.
"Every fire ecape a chicken roost, every
bath, tub a duck pond, would certainly
get the goat of the butcher boys," admits
Bon. "Then If every family could keep a
cow In the kitchen and raise some of the
fifty-seven varieties of vegetables on the
roof, the food trust would certainly have
to go out of business."
"After all," Father muses, "the life of
the farmer la the only existence free from
rare. When he goes to bed at night he
knows when he wakes up In the morning
that his farm will still be there, which la
more than the New York business man
can say about his possessions."
"Believe me. Pop," decides Son, "If I
had to live on a farm I'd want to wake
up some morning and find that the dear
old homestead had moved Its' location over
night into some cosey little Harlem flat.
Whenever I save up enough maauma to
buy a chicken farm I'll take the long green
and go out and buy a nice, jucy sirloin
steak and let It go at that. That's bow
much I love the trooly rural game. V
(Copyright. 11L by tha N. T. Herald Co.)
her hand, the chances are that she will
kiss his cheek. The Russian father of a
family, however numerous that family may
be, kisses every member of it whenever he
goes or comes. If It be a dosen times a
day.
"In fact, it Is asserted that tha 'Little
Father' haa kissed over 1.000,000 people, (by
proxy) In one day. Kissing by proxy may
go all right In Russia, but for my part I
prefer the real American article every
time. There Is mora to it."
The Hobble Night Gown
Women have hobbled and hobbled along
busy thoroughfares. Into street cars, whom
steps never seemed so far removed from
Mother Eearth as when they tried to make
a yard-and-a-quarter circle do the work
of two yards, writes Extelle Kegler. The
covert smile of the men on the street and
the slings and arrows of the cartoonist, to
whom the hobble skirt was aa a gift from
King Midas, women have borne with dig
nified silence because fashion dictates, and
when fanhlon dictates they follow without
fear or cavil.
Now, having hobbled through the day,
they are to hobble through, the night.
Even In dreams the bands which bind
them to the mincing little step of the
ladies of long ago are to have their Influ
ence, and the dainty robe da nult. formerly
falling In graceful, easy lines from empire
waists, la caught by a hobble halt way be
tween the knee and ankle.
Seriously, the hobble night dress Isn't
nearly so undesirable as it seems. Those
who have tried It pronounce it a veritable
Inspiration, far more comfortable than pa
Jamas or the common or garden variety
ot gown. It Is graceful, follows tha linen
of the figure and in most cases Is e&
tremely becoming, which counts some.
Just when the hobble Is supposed to be
defunct and the dressmakers are holding
the la n sad rites before launching In all
Its glory the sensational harem skirt, the
ghoat of the style that should lie peace
fully in the dust of the back shelf looms
forth, refusing to "stay put."
The hobble nightie la said to be perfectly
fascinating, and who wouldn't be fascinat
ing, even though to be so entails hobbling
in your sleepT
r
Mark Twain's Goodby
His last words were: "There lxn't any
one for me to play with any mora."
The glow Is fading from the western sky,
And one by one my comrades, as of yore.
Have given up their play and said goodbye;
There ten t anyone tor me to play with
any more.
Don t cry, dear heart, for I am worn and
old.
No longer have I 'argess In my store,
E'en love s bet gifts to me 1 could not
hold;
There l-n t anyone for me to play with
any more.
I miss the tender handclasp of old friends.
The knees of the loved ones gone before;
"TIs lonely when the heart first compre
hends. There isn't anyone for me to play mlth
any more.
I need these loving hearts, so fond and
leal.
I want them in my arms, as heretofore;
When they axe reached I shall no longer
feel
There Un t anyone for me to play with
any more.
JAMES TERRY WHITE.
Electrical Illumination is used by more
than Tunuuu of a total uf about I.Juu.uuu
households In the Called biaute.
t t """iTrrtirM. ISlt. hr Tae aw Vr rwerm ifr Tart HtK Cai Ag ijSm tiwut
1 I 'COMfS 1 I I
'VUlL prop it. it'll riK e.s.s.rr2NaT JX vl)
Tj 'J p
w
Philip has proposed. It was most an
noying, as it upset all my plans. It would
have been auch fun to go to that house
party with him If he hadn't. Now I
shan't go. I bad arranged to have it' all
happen there. They have a lovely green
house sort of place a kind of Coney-Island-Palm-Beach
effect and Agnes says
It is simply perfect tor a proposal. She
had Tommy Fearing propose there, and
she said the whole thing was so romantic
she nearly accepted him.
Luckily he sat down In a big flower pot
full of mud or moss or something in the
excitement, and she had to get a gardener
to help extract him, and it waa easy to
refuse him after that. Dreadfully lucky
escape fur Agnes, as T.iny is the sort
who would ask a girl to marry him and
mean It, If she didn't.
As I told her, he waa Just the man to be
completely taken In by her and think ahe
"HE
HAD THRF.ATKNED
HIMSELF."
TO SHOOT
waa an angel, and do something or talk
about doing something desperate when
he discovered she wasn't I can't stand
many more of her love affairs. The week
sne io.u me .u .uum. ... w
ner I u positively worneu ui. aru.
She used to come to see me quite early
In the morning and get hysterical about
it, and would run to the window to see If
he was anywhere to be -seen rather hope-
f1 KiV
He akd m how much money
you had
The pift
- "To punish him I laid you had
none."
You cU
1 1
1 V
V I 11
MiLr
fully, I couldn't help thlnkmg. I didn't"
mind her getting noisy about lack Fel
lows, because he had threatened to shoot
himself, and so long as he didn't annoy
us about the matter I didn't care much.
Any one who danced like he did ought to
be disposed ot anyway. He was quite
prominent, too, and It would have made
Agnes a great success well written up.
He was even more romantic than she, and,
aa I assured her, the whole affair would
have been done In the best way. Every
thing Jack did was in good style, except
his dancing. She used to be afraid to look
at the morning paper, and fainted away
twice when she heard extras being called.
But after a week of anguish on her part
she got a letter from him saying he was
going to a fancy dress ball as a ghost, and
would she help him with, suggestions, as
she was so clever at stunts like that. I
couldn't help sympathising with the poor
girl.
r
Real Education
J
According to a professor in the Vni
verslty of Chicago, any person who can
answer "yes" to the following questions la
educated In the best sense:
Has education given you sympathy with
all good causes and made you espouse
them?
Has it made you public-spirited?
Has It made you a brother to the weak?
Have you learned how to make friends
and keep them?
Do you know what It Is to be a friend
yourself?
Can you look an honest man or a pure
woman straight In the eye?
Do you sea anything to love In a little
child?
Will a lonely dog follow you In the
street?
CuTi you be high-minded and happy in
the meanest drudgeries of life?
Do you think washing dishes and hoeing
corn Just aa compatible with high think
ing as piano playing or golf?
Are you good for anything yourself?
Can you be happy alone?
Can you look out on the world and see
anything except dollars and cents'.'
Can you look into a mud puddle by the
wayside and see a clear sky?
Can you see anything In the puddle but
mud?
Can you look into the sky at night and
see beyond the stars?
if
Nuba of Knowledge
J
Wooden water pipe, ranging from three
to twelve feet In diameter, is used by
several Interior towns and Industrial con
cerns In Australia,
Boiling brass utensils in a solution of
cream of tartar containing a small amount
of bichloride of tin will make them re
semble old pewter.
New schedules of French railroads show
that nation is maintaining its record for
the fastest long-distance trains In flie
world.
Although Minnesota's rivers are said to
be capable of providing l.Kiouti torse
power, lesa than one-third of that amount
is being utilized.
The sotl turned up by ants In making
their nests In some portions of Central
America la mixed with water and made
Into bricks by the natives.
China raises Just about one-half of the
world's tea. the annual production of which
J Is estimated at l.juu.uuu.uud tuna.
1
A
BYM.E
-Tsar
But to get back to Philip I was serl
ously annoyed with him. I had It planned
out so neatly. IMmly lighted greenhouBe
palms music from the distance ray purple
chiffon gown Philip oh, well Just Philip.
He's all right, but goodness, you couldn't
marry him. He haa two warts.
He spoiled everything by popping the
question one morning after breakfast. He
called at 9:30 and said he couldn't work
until he had my answer. He had stopped
In on the way to his studio. He had evi
dently had an egg for breakfast, as a little
bit had got caught on his chin. He looked
very sweet, though. The whole proceed
ing upset me, as I was Just about to dash
out to a sale of French underclothes, and
I pictured Annex, whom I had telephoned
in a rauh moment to mert me there, pick
ing out all the best things. He waa very
nervous and broke his hat, and his nose
"WONDER HOW AGNES GETS THEM
LP TO THAT POINT?"
got very red, and he had a low collar on,
and I discovered another wart under his
chin.
Why. he's simply covered with them!
Besides spoiling my arrangements for the
house party. I found Agnes and a '.ot ot
other women had grabbed all the belt bar
gains that morning. He dldn t say a vord
about shooting himself, I noticed. I won
der how Agnes gets them up to that point?
(Copyright, WU, by the N. V, Herald Co.)
"John's firm has given him $500
nd a trip to New rk."
"How long will he be in. New
York?"
"Oh, not so long. Tm going with
biml''. '
v jit-? JnrK r
1 fw
I rj r
n
dc.Wi.ft ja...
.'.V
ARTIU'R FRPHLAR.
South 2rl.
Name and Aririre.
Frank n. Arms. Creche
Adrian G. Bnncker, 111 South Thii tv-niuih St..
George S. Rurnell. 120 South Thirty-sixth St...
Helen Bartletf, Sixteenth and Leavenworth Sts.
Gladys Bartlett, Sixteenth and Leavenworth St.
Louis Bird. 307 Bancroft St
Helen Bronson. 292.1 Douglas St Farnam . ...v...1903
Margaret p. Bridges, 4043 Fort St Central Tark. 1S99
Axsel Chrlstensen, 3011 Franklin St Franklin 1899
Carey Camnbell. 1124 South Twenty-eighth St. High 1894
Vivian R. Davey. 4108 Ohio St
Alice Dean. 2227 Locust St
Merl Fawcett. 821 Bancroft St
John H. Card. 3236 Evans St
Dora Gross, 110 North Thirteenth St
Wallace Hooper, 2227 Willis Ave
Minerva Heine, 1611 Lake St
Doris V. Janiieson. 2734 Blondo St
Peter J. Kleine, 2736 South Twelfth St St. Joseph 1900
Frank J. Kowles, 1616 Corby St Sacred Heart ....1900
Frank B. Lincoln, 2824 California St . Webster ...1904
Ruth Lancaster, 3109 Sherman Ave Lake 1903
Allen Lloyd, 2815 Grant St Howard Kennedy. .1897
Clifford McConnell, 4302 Grand Ave Central Park 1900
Oila Mlldoon, 521 North Twentieth St High 1896
James W. Mirton, 1029 North Thirty-fourth St Franklin , 1903
Gladys Mcintosh, 2436 South Twentieth Ave Castellar 1904
Saylor McCubbin. 2023 Burt St Kellom 1900
Louise Ortman, 2141 South Thirty-third St Windsor 1901
Catherine Ormsby, 2927 Dupont fc't
Arthur Preglar, 834 South Twenty-third
Mary RusMn, 205 South Thirty-seventh
Charles Rosso, 3611 Jones St
Hattie Rothholtz, 2 715 Jackson St
Francis Redwelaka, 2719 South Twenty
John Sollberger, 2411 Franklin St
Myrtle A. Swanson. 3624 Hawthorne
Mathilda Stouppeith, 2414 South Nineteenth St St. Joseph .......1897
Gladys Samland, 5141 North Sixteenth
Florence Sullivan, 1837 North Twenty
Florence Smith, 2122 Grace St ...Lake 1903
Matilda Wenninghoff, 2426 South Twentieth Ave. . . .Castellar 1902
Byron Wilsox, 121 South Thirty-third St Farnam 1900
Helen M. Watson. 2 431 Parker St Long 1897
Babies and
When the value of a year's crop of ba-'
bles Is computed it makes the year's crop
of porkers seem insignificant, according to
a statistician writing in tha Pittsburg Dis
patch. Tet every year the pigs are being
more and more carefully protected from
cholera and other diseases which mean
loxses by death.
Few people realise that the average value
of every infant at birth is $!iQ, as estimated
a little more than a year ago by the Na
tional conservation commission. Therefore,
If It pays to protect pigs. It must be many
times more profitable to safeguard human
beings, because mighty few porkers are
worth more than a twentieth as much as
the average baby.
Considering that It takes a human Infant
about twenty years to become profitable
on a commercial basis, It may be realised
that by the time It haa reached that age
It represents a considerable investment.
Estimated on cost and earning power, the
youth of H is worth $3,000 and one of 20 s
valued at M.000.
Stay in Your Place
Om-e upon a time there was a turtle who
lived In a fountain In the middle of a
garden. His loneliness grew upon him to
such an extent that lie thounht he would
go traveling and see something of the
world. Accordingly he flopped over the
edge of the fountain and found himself
In a bed of tulips, but they held them
selves so stiff and haughty he was not
much encouraged, and so he continued on
ward past the tulips, where he met a fine
fat aorn, upon which he feasted.
He was now ready for anything, and
wandered along the garden path, his In
quisitive heud turning right and left. All
at once he came upon Towser, the puppy.
Now. Towser had never seen a turtle and
was therefore so taken by surprise that
he behaved as only a young and foolish
puppy can.
He Jumped a foot or two In the air and
came down barking aa loud as he could.
Tlwn he baoke.1 iff and ran around the
turtle as if he were mad. all the time
keeping up his shrill barking. After a few
minutes of this performance he noticed
DC
f
Town Clock on Barn
Kennebunkport. Me., claims tile only
barn In the country with a clock. Tue
farm Is known tor miles around as the
'Clock Kmmons place." and has been
tailed by that name slnee the big .-lock
was Installed In the top of the barn twenty
years ago.
It is a landmark for miles around. The
time piece answers for the town clock and
Is so accurate that the farmers set their
watches by It. It can be seen for iuite a
long distance, and causes strangers v.lun
they sight It for the first time to -ttare in
amazement, for the laat place in the
world one would expect to see a full grown
clock Is on the top of a barn. The firm
buildings are mure than a century old.
"You musn t touch tha ball. L'se a stick."
"How am I going to get it out of a
mudhole with a stick? Caddy, go over to
the club house and borrow a pair of tongs."
rl ituburg I'ou
DayWe
Celebrate
March 0, 1911.
Scl)x)l. Trar.
.Central ......... 1904
High 1S94
Columbian 1905
Lpjtrnn worth 1"95
Leavenworth 1905
Bancroft 1900
Clifton Hill 1901
Lothrop .'. 1R99
Bancroft 1901
Druid Hill 1900
Cass 1901
High ...1893
Lake 1899
Long 1899
Dupont 1899
St Mason 1902
St Columbian 1901
Columbian 1905
Farnam ..1900
- fifth St.... Int. Conception ...1898
Long ....1905
Ave Franklin 1895
St Sherman ....1902
- first St Kellom 1903
Wealth
On the average about 3.140.000 babies are
ushered into America every year, figuring,
on the usually accepted basis of thirty
four per thousand of population, so that
the crop Is worth $279,000,000 to start with.
In fourteen years, If there were no losses
from death. It would represent a value of
$SS7.000.000.0UO and In twenty years
0OO.0UO.OU0. These figures make all others
look small. Utterly Insignificant beside
them seems the value of the nation's pork
era, which is not more than lf.iJ0.0OO.OOO all
told, counting father, mother and tha
babies.
It Is figured that about one-third of the
nation's deaths Is -of children under 30
years. Now, figuring on a dnath rata of
sixteen per thousand, this gives 1.C2.000
deaths, of which &&0,0i)Q are ot children un
der 30. Counting the very low average of
1200 as the actual money which each one
has represented In life, this means an ex
penditure of $110,000,000. Then, If it cost
an average of $1U0 to bury each one, the
outlay reaches $145,000,000.
the turtle waa nut dangerous and only
wanted to be friends, so he came up close
and sniffed at the shell, at which the tur
tle said, "Hiss," which is the only sound
a turtle can make. Towser was so scared
he turned and ran ilka a streak into the
house. '
It made the turtle quite sad that tha
puppy ran away, so it continued along
until it came to the kitchen doorstep.
The big gray cat was taking a hap there.
V hen she haw the visitor she arched her
back and her tail grew to a monstrous
size. Hie gave a dreadful growl, but the
turtle only said. "Hiss," and forgot to
draw In Its head.
j
Suddenly Tabby struck a blow at tha
turtles head with her cruel paw. The
poor turtle was so budly hurt It was
thankful when Willie ran out and carried
It back to the fountain. The cool water
relieved Its wound at once, and the turtle
thought, "I will stay here the rest of my
life, for the first companion I found was
craxy and the second one wicked."
1
Daily Health Hint
Breathe as much fresh air as possible,
and get Into tha sunshine. The sun should
Le allowed to shine into every room in a
house at some time during th (Jay. Sun
shine Is the most powerful germ destroyer
in existence
A Perfect Guarantee.
"Iok here. Mr. Jones." aa'.d Henbr,
wrathfully, "do you see thia tire?"
"Yes." said Jones.
"Well, t bought it here from you yester
day and you guarantee U to laat a year,-'
aald Henby. "and. by Jove! tae con
founded thing busted at the end tf a half
hour." 1
"That s all rlht, Mr. Uaaby." said
Jones. "The guarantee expired night before
last. We ve had that tire in this garage
for eighteen months and ft tws Xuiruj4
uur highest exyec taUut," Uaj 94 , (