TUB BKE: OMAHA, MONDAY, FEBRUARY 27, 1911. azirve 1 rr age i The Tired-Business Man SrALTKR A. SINCLAIR. Tlln Friend Wife AU About a Darning Kgg nj fleating It, i . "VhaV I4 relpVrity''her "talk so much W jhout?-' asked ' frlt-hif "Wife. '"Is It ft Vscheme to have Oanaila 'ahriexed?'' "Its ft nut thin to ll." said the Tired B'lalnesa Mn.',V'hV. I'm' astounded that any Intelligent woman should have to ad mit to her tm f arid that she doesn't know what reciprocity' H. : It's giving Canada 'something we" didn't went In exchange for sometnlng wa do want. ' I'm amascd to think you haven't been keeping posted reading tha deliste1 'in congress ' and the president's views' on tlia subject. I wouldn't ba at all eurprWd If you had passed up that Interesting ' reading for account of tha latest parlor prise ftght or tha aprlng modes In divided aklrtn or tha latent Inter national wedding. ''" ' ' A 1 a t VH11 tnKat t,v Innkail m I . aans and Vnrtw that It tneana taking a , basketful or a wagdnful of farm produce I and going up to the' Canadian border and handing aero youf 'basket for another i baakat held by Home Canadian, hla basket i containing furs and urn-oh. 'all those well known product!" for" 'which Canada la ao Justly famed. ' ' "Well? ln'tMht Wain? ' All you have to do la to go hi to -the boundary line and hsnd across' y'ftUr' basket. - I've aeen It In any rfumWr of pictures, Vncle Bam, resur- I reeted after many years, and Canada, wear- I mg fura," exchanging basket which ap parently hare the same thing In them. We get Canada's product- for much less than we paid hare, and they get oura well, I'm 1 not Just aura about that, but I suppose the (Canucks are anxious to pay more. 'The .i'yJorelgner pay the tax-, Jrhu've heard. g "I can see that you don't follow me at ' ail -and I'm not on my way to Reno, but merely"t'h'CTriatlaft'Torder. Tou ee, it'a all about the tariff question. Wi loved that dear old tariff becauae.lt gave ua tha full dinner pall. And wa Just overlooked It and forgot It a few deoadea. But when we found aforesaid T. r. pall was full of air I we resumed Interest In the tariff question. p"There was the choice of approaching It ' boldly and taklag It by the home, with a chance of being bunted by same, or going around, coming up through A tunnel and sprinkling a Mtlo salt on Its tall. That's what the present Idea Is all about. "About all you know of Canada Is that It'a the place where they circulate the Quarter MiJ , j 1 1T""TT ''ii ill 1 fmrrn-nn n ) j ni ; "RKCIPROOITT." and dimes that the butcher and grocer stick you with occasionally, and then you can't work them off until you tip some poor waitress who hasn't any better facilities of getting rid of them than you had. That's Canada a principal Importation funny money. " Maybe reciprocity meana that Canadian dimes will be worth full face value at the stores here, I dunno. "Of course, you probably think It means that when we want to trade a large chunk of an American fortune for an English lord he haa got to come Into this country by ' way of Canada. But, no. There Is no tariff on the Importation of titles; they come In duty free, the prospective father-in-law attending to all the social duties. Also, you may think that the principal crops rained on Canada's broad acres con sist of snow. Again you err. They raise such elegant and tantalizing names as Saskatchewan and Athabasca, to aay noth ing of Banff. In case of reciprocity, we will have to learn to pronounce- them all. which la one of the hardships of a democratic victory.". " "I don't think I quite understand yet," faltered Friend Wife. "Now, Isn't that Just Ilka a woman?" exclaimed the Tired Business Man. (Copyright, 1911, by the N. Y. , Herald Co.) Swam Five Hours in Ocean Another of those, wonderful atorlea sup plied by the aea la reported, In which the hero Is a Danti.h sailor of remarkable strength and endurance. " The steamship Milton recently arrived at Boston, when Its master, Captain Egan, reported that a Danish seaman, named Hendrtck Anderson of Copenhagen, whom he shipped at Buenoa Ayres, had disap peared early one morning while at aea. A surprising and thrilling sequel has now been brought to light. Captain R. C. Toung, master of W. G. Morel A Co.'s steamer, Nollaement, In a letter to his owners, gives particulars of a ' strange rescue at sea effected by his vessel when outward bound to Buenos Ayres.' One morning about :99 a. m., when the steamer was about fifty 'miles from St. Vincent, ha passed the steamer Milton homeward bound from the Plat.' At :30 o'clock that morning the quartermaster re ported that tie could see what looked like a nan swimming ahead and making signals V tha ship. The captain got hla glasses mad out the figure of a man In the water. Kvery now and then the awimmer raised his arm and made frantic signals to the steamer. The vessel's course wsa al tered and t: man picked pu. He had been In the water for five and a half hours, and waa almost exhausted. Of Danish nationality and 22 years of age, the rescued man could not akeak Eng lish, but ' on board the Nollaement there was a man who was able to Interpret his storr. The Dane elated that he i a seaman 6n 'board the Mlltort. "At V o'clock that morning he wax Bitting on the vessel's rail when the ship gave a audden roll and he was thrown overboard. lila disappearance wa evidently not noticed.. He saw the Milton disappear In the distance.. He started swimming ateadiiy in the hope that he would be picked up, though his greatest fear was of sharks, snd more than once one of these monsters came close to him and was only scared away by vigorous splashing. The rescued Dane Is a msn of great physical strength. ! !. V ' . V J; I ' - - iiKisses Not Good Pay -J A report . sent.. CUL. from Kimball, Neb,, says a Justice) of the peace there, has held that milking tha cows and feeding the cat tle la no part of a woman's domestic duties. Ha has alao held that if a husband compela and foroea hla wife to do this work, she Is -.titled to. the same compensation aa s. hired roan.-, He haa alao held that a hus band cannot, prove an offset by alleglnii love and affection, accompanied by ktxseii, hla opinion- Welng that klasea In a case of this kind have no merchantable value. The couple In question were married three years ago and went to Banner county to re side, settllug on a homestead a few miles from Kimball. They got along nicely until this winter, when the husband concluded, though In perfect health, that his wife ought to do the milking and feed the cattle. ha protested, contending that, she did not marry In order to have an opportunity of doing farm labor, Baying that If she wanted to do this class of work, she would don trousers and do - a man'a work and get a man'a pay, Inatead of a bare living and a few cheap clothes. There waa discord at once and the wife went before a Justice, who issued a war rent. At the hearing the husband wa placed under bonds to keep the peace. He admitted that he had compelled, his wife to do manual labor on the ranch snd about the barn, but pleaded In extenuation that after the marriage, the wife promised to take up thla part of his duties If he would kiss her every morning and again every night. He testified that he had kept hla part or the contract, but the wife had failed, she hsving refused to accept his kWse. The court held that under the- clrcum xtancea the kisses were valueless and that the wife was not bound to receive them, they not being In good faith. ( Ms "Trues in Dutch Guinea J H.'tgllfle Grant, the originator and aec retary of t,he British expedition In Dutch Uulnea, in a letter dated October 29. an nounces his arrival on October at a camp on the mime, ahara the rr"Tr have a clearing an.)- a village. He had got into touch with the pygmtea, of whom he had Secured mfaaurements. The average height wa four feet alx inches. "On October ." he says. "I paid my last visit to them. They xvuie not nearly o friendly as when I saw them before. They refused to be photographed or have ttieli heights Uki-B. though I w as able to J 'dge thia more or less accurately as they stood beside men alraady measured. "At firm they gave me to understand ;v that they did not want me tnre, or my beads or cloth, and that 1 had better go back, but aTterard I sucrreded In get ting tome bows and arrows and bags from them. Finally they paid they were all go ing further ett and that when I unit sain I should find no men. no aomen, o children,' " The pyimt.'i measured by iiant varied in ftge from old men to youths of 'JO. The atUriuas'i l-SKuvnt. Barney (Mtifteld, at the d imer In honor f his victory over Jack Johnson at Cheeps bead Bay. told a number t automobile Itories ', "liut m bent etory." s.ilj the famous racer, "is atut a laxicab chauffeur, Thl thap as diM-harsed for rekl driving, tnd so became a molorman on a trolley k'Vs '' " Crumbling oir hla fallen ,m tune, a fnend aa!d: th ahat'a the .alter with you? Can't you ruu over peo- e Juet a' ni'h ever? ' "Y the ev anffeur t.-i!led. 'but formerly could and cl.o ..'. " Wt'.n-.i.tfjii Star If Symphonic Suff racism . mnjK zwyj CHe&rir f 4 s- OUCH: V Keep Jrr 5 r 4V a BY MF. DOLULfl Ns OtjTilgat, awlis. I- tu X. yrk Ercxtxu Trt.eorjJt ew Verk Uorald Co.). Ail rt-Uu rteerrru. Great opening for some young inventor who could combine a mechanical contri vance for hooking gowns up the back. I was obliged to go down, to the kitchen the other Jay. to. ask. the cook's assistance, as everybody else seemed to.be out or beyond rings and cries for help. I rang the bell In my room, but nobody came. I rang again, deliriously. Nothing happened. .Then I leaned against the bell. Then I went out in the hall and called over the banlnters, In a ladylike way. Cousin Anne thinks It dreadful to ralae your voice or call to people, but as she was out and her ears' Could not be of- A Suffragette hand. brasR, wood and atiing. haa been formed as part of Mrs. Iieliuont'a vutes-for-w omen campaign. The ladles are coming with tootle-te-toot! The ladles are inarching with blngety bang! With trumpet and piccolo, tuba and riute. With blaring cornel and with cymbals that clung; And Una to Impress on the maeculine brute. In every diseonaance writ in a clef. That if at her views he contlnuea to hoot bl.e 11 play till he deaf: Bhe'il play till he's tleuf! The belle who la playing the alidtng trom bone. The bud who la blowing the droning baa soon; , May not he hsrmonloua wholly in tone And oftfu may wander away from the tune. Hut each is determined. If Mr. New York t'tiliimues to padlock superior ears And kiuff Vm wiih cotton or plug 'em with coiiv, Phe II play till he hears! She'll play till he hears! How long. iiu you think, till the sneers of hr ad w u.y ill turn ,ntu cheers for the Suffragist Hand? How u.iig till the disengaged Hsmleta all a, "Ye. Borneo; prithee, let'a give them hand!" And wily Wall ftieeler. the bull and the bear. Will have to succumb to cacophonous din. The chorus U hinhly appropriate there "We'll play till we win! We'll play till we win!" So. sisters of Kousa and sinters of tftrauks. All xktlled vhuiosl, with never a stipe. ISo blow down tlie wail of the enemy hooe. You militant Jericho Trumpeting Troupe! Mv brvihwr! oh. darken the horrible threat That's hlown in a blast from the musical throat; The weapon mi deadly they've found and ) ou bet Thev II play ml they vote They'll piey till llie-y v. te! . John o Krefe la New Vork toiid. "THE MOST AW FUL. KURT." fended, I raised my voice. I can raise It a good deal. Nothing happened, however, so I went downstairs and found one of the Hibernians Cousin Anne employ playing with a camembert cheese In the pantry. I raid: "I've been calling and ringing and no one came." She said: "Aw, did yes call?" I aaid: "Didn't anybody hear the bell?" Phe said. "Sure I thought It was the base ment bell. Did yes ring?" I said yes, but only for the exercise. Aa her hands were rert of camemhert cheesy. I decided to me ander along and try something else. I went down to the kitchen and found it per fectly empty. I listened. I would have put my ear to the ground in a moment.. But 1 heard sounds from the billiard room, which is on the basement floor. I went in, cough ing loudly. The cook was theYe with the grocer's man. -j She was toying with some onions and he was gaxing at her In the most adoring way. I felt frightfully de trop,. but. I .was desperate by that time and -had to' have something done. I simply hated to break up the tete-a-tete, as It's a' thing I make a point of never doing. , . , . If they had been playing pool I' wouldn't have minded so much. He grabbed up a big basket and started to go. but I said: "Oh, please don't run away; I'll only keep her a moment, I promise you." He looked sort of embarrassed and I aked him If he played pool. He looked awfully bored at the suggestion, so I asked him how much pineapples were that day and If potatoes had gone up. iAicklly, my dress was fastened by that time, and I could leave them to themselves. I think I wa frightfully oniony the rest of the afternoon, though Agnes . swore she didn't notice it. We had gone to a wedding and I found to my Joy when we reached the church that I was down on the list that Batty Morris had in his hand. He came tearing down the aisle bursting with Importance and still sort of daaed from the ushers' dinner. Agnes' name wasn't down at all.. She said she wished she had aent a wedding present now, as she had heard the reception was going to be rather fine.. Ague is getting so hardened. The church looked lovely, and Mr. Hallens was one of the ushers. He came and leaned over our pew and said how well I was looking. He certainly Is the most awful flirt. Utlith Gaylord came In and walked away ap to the front of the church. Heavens, t'ie way that girt makes up! I couldn't get over it and neither could Agnes. She told me hot to repeat it, as he had been r.sked by several people not to, but It was undoubtedly true that Edith drank. She oaid: "Why, my dear, couldn't you see she was under the Influence as she walked up the aisle Just then?" I said I r Nubs of Knowledge J The average man halt 130,000 hairs on hla head. Oklahoma haa the greatest Indian popu lation of any of the states. Germany Is steadily turning "away from rye flour in favor of wheat.. The United States ranks second to Russia in the production of barley. . Wireless telephones have been found to work well In mines In Great Britain. A motorcycle driven by a petroleum en gine waa Invented as far back as 1S85. Vermont was the only state in which there was no boiler explosion lust year. In proportion to Its population Italy has more theaters than any other country. Fergus county, Montana, produces most of the sapphire mines In the United States. So far as known, Africa has but ons inhabitant to each eleven square miles of land. The forests of the Alaskan coast yield about 27,000,000 board feet of lumber a year. Parisians consume 43S,iOO.y0 . pounds of meat each year, exclusive of poultry and game. "1 IA. OMA KEEP HtfR A MOMKNT. I PROMISE YOU." thought Batty Morris wss Intoxicated, too. She said: "Oh. boiled, my dear, abso lutely ibolled. Why, he couldn't even read the Halt. Of course my name was down. Did you ever see anything to equal that dress of Anna Rtebbens'T Isn't h the limit, anyway? Imagine anyone with that face wearing a hat like that! They say she takes some drug; but don't' repeat this; I was asked not to." I said I thought she wss simply awful looking and f thought she was drugged then. Her eyes had such a queer look, al though It might have been only the make up. Agnes said shs guessed It was the drug, however. I said I thought Helen Dickson had the worst looking hat on I'd ever seen. Agnes said It was too young for her. She said she had come out fully three years ago. She said she waa getting gray haired, because shs hadn't got a husband, and everybody knew it. I said I'd heard Archie was quite attentive to her. Agnes said. "Goodness, no. He's Just sorry for her. fool old hag!" The bride camii in then and . she looked lovely, but Agnes said they had to pay him an awful lot to marry her. She said not to repeat It, though. l. a : v .. .a The Dee'a Junior Birthday Book IDhis is tlie Da: We Celebrate mi MONDAY, February 27, 1911. 1 7- , Name and Address. Helen Alexander, 614 North Twenty-gecond St... Viol Ackerman, 2014 South Second St Kenneth Borcherdlng, 2868 Ohio St Clyde. Barnes. 85S8 North Twenty-eighth St Paul Chrlstensen, 1088 North Twenty-fourth St. Charles Chrlstensen, 3226 Kansas Ave Stephen Donohoe Clayton Dressell. 1722 Dodge St Richard Elster, Blxteenth and Yates Sts., Roland Flats Helen Edmonds, 4110 North Twenty-eighth Are.... Johanna Ekstrand. 2510 Sooth Tenth Aye Harvey D. Fisher, 1210 South Eleventh St Nelson Gilbert, 2 829 Davenport St Mary Garotto, 1114 Pacific St. Mary C. Gould, Thirty-ninth and Himebaugh Sts Margaret Hermann, 3319 Cuming 8t Jessie M. Hauck, 8632 Saratoga St John H. Harris, 3333 Larlmore St Gertrude L. Hislop, 3182 Fowler Ave Olga M. Hlllqulst, 409 North Thirty-first St Paul Holzapfel, 2018 Martha St Samuel Isreal, 1315 Pacific St Clarence KIrkland, 2710 Seward St Adolph Lastovica, 1711 South First St Ethel M. Llndmler, 2439 Ellison Ave Charles Moore, 3935 North Twenty-second St. Bessie Mlnters, 2112 Nicholas St Dorothy M. Myers, 4352 Franklin St Ruth Norman, 1817 Chicago Bt Hllma M. Nelson, 2220 North Thirteenth St. ...... . Milton Olson, 2517 Ames Ave: Lulu M. Potter, North Sixteenth and Fowler Ave Fred Pitxl, 1201 Kavan Bt Mary R. Redline, 2303 South Thirty-second Ave Horace Rosenblum, 414 North Sixteenth St Mary Shutte, 2715 Elm St George SIsson, 217 Center St ..." Paul Workman, 531 South Thirty-sixth St, Ada White. 834 South Thirty-fifth St School. Year. Central .v 1898 Train .1902 Howard Kennedy ..1904 Druid , Hill. . . . ...1903 Kellom ......... 1904 Miller Park. ... , .1901 Long ...... ... . .1896 Central .'....'.... 1904 Lake 190.1 Saratoga .'.. ...",. 1 896 Castellar 1901 High ;..'.. . . . . . . .1892 Farnam .1 01 Pacific . .1902 Central Park. ... .1894 High 1893. Central Park 1905 Monmouth Fark. ,.1900 Monmouth Park.. . 1904 Farnam .1901 St. Joseph ;.1901 Kellom . . . . , . . .1898 Long .......... .1901 High .1895 Saratoga .'.. ;..'.. 1898 Lothrop ........ .1902 Kellom ...:.'.... 1898 Walnut Hill 1897 High . . . , ....... 1896 Lake ,.1898 Saratoga - ." .1899 Sherman I . ..... 1904 St. Joseph. . . . . w. 1899 Windsor 1904 Cass 1899 Castellar 1901 Train 1904 Columbian ..... .1899 High 1896 Getting Even With Himself -J Burton was an old-time southern book maker, says the New Turk Hun, who had a prejudice against Bendlgo, when that great horse waa dangeroua In any race. On one occasion a horseman who knew Burton's - weakness came along after the betting had been going on for some time and called to him that he was out of line on his price on Bendlgo. "Huh! Think so?" said Burton In reply. "Why don't you take some of It, then?" "Well, I will," was the rejoinder; "put me twenty-five each way.'' ' " Twenty-five hundred dollars to $25 and $1,000 to $25,' sang out Burton. 'That'll do for supper money,' he called Burton after tha horseman as he walked away. " 'Yes, for me," was the horseman's reply. The man had really tried to do the book maker a favor, and he was hurt at the manner In which his overture had been received. Bendlgo didn't win the race, but he ran second, and there, waa so much money on him at 40 to 1 for the place that Burton was $14,000 loser on the race. There was a string of darkles fifty yards long with all kinds of tickets, and mingled with them a few sharpshooters, and well up In the line was the horseman, who chaffed Burton unmercifully about his supper money. The bookmaker didn't have enough money In his cash box to pay all the claims against him and he was compelled to borrow from one of his friends till tha nevt day. It may be surmised that tha southern specu lator was In no amiable mood when ha started for town that evening. He was a tremendous ester snd Ukd the good things of the table as well as any body I've ever known. This evening he went to Delmonico's and ordered an' enib' orate dinner, but the manner of service in- V slsted upon startled the waiter who had hla table. . " 'Fetch it all at or,ce,'" Burton told the puEiled waiter. , ' A quart of champagne was brought as a final touch, and onlookers marvelled at the spectacle of th big man who sat alone at a table covered with food Including everything from the oysters to the demi tasse. Tucking his napkin under his chin as was his custo'n, Burton said to himself : "'You're pretty hungry.-aln't you? You think you're going to eat that, don't you? Well, you big at head, you're not,'" arid calling for hln check he settled his bill, handed .the waiter a liberal tip and left him looking after him open 'mouthed. "That was simply one of Burton's "ays of punishing himself for his folly of ths afternoon." said a friend. Hooked by His Own Hot Air "Did you ever stop to think of what goes on here besides the regular work of the shop?" the barber said to his customer as h applied a Ci stall hot toad to his face. fleet's have it, Tony, but that towel is too hot," was the Invitation to go on with ths story. "Well, here's a sample," he began. "A man came In here the other day and began telling me how much the remark of one of my customers cost him the week before. He had come In for a hurry-up shave and a friend of his came with him and waited. The man waa a stock broker and his friend was a prospective buyer. They were on the way to his office, where a deal was to be closed. While I was shaving my man -another chap cams In and said to a friend: 'So-and-Bo's going to drop tomor row, and drop hard. That was enough. The prospective Investor didn't know the stranger, but his remark was enough to give him a 'hunch.' The stock mentioned was the same he was about to buy. The deal waa off. All on account of the ahave the broker thought he wanted at that time, see? "That's the sort of thing that happens here every day, I suppose, only we don't hear about It all the time, it ain't all serious stuff like thai, eiilief," be went on. "Here's a sample of the queer stuff. It keeps me laughing some days from morning till night to hear some of ths dope that's sloughed off here. Regular lit tle comedy shop! .... . , t "The manager -of a prUy big. theater here was In my chair blng"flxed uu. ' I had a towel on his face and anyone 'Coming In could not tell who he was. A friend of hla came In and before I noticed hi in he began telling me what a, bum show the manager had that week. ' He had been there the night before. The manager hnd given him some passes and he had taken his wife. 'Kottenest show he ever had on the bills.' he waa saying. 'Perfectly poor!' And there the manager was In the chair. But he never said a word. Sore? I guess. Ths newcomer went on, still not wise: 'I hate to see It again, but I've got to touch him for a fw more passes tonight. I have some friends coming into town. It's the only place I know where I can shake down some free tickets.' Still the manager kept mum. The man who criticised tha show left his hat to keep his turn and said he'd be back. When he returned ht other one had gone." "I guess he didn't go to sea the show on any more free passes from that man ager, eh?" grinned the man who now had a clean shave and turned to leave tho shop. Chicago News. ACCOMMODATING. -T3' "I don't want you for a aon-in 'aw. "Perhaps you have some other good position you could give mt" r s Hi CONCLUSIVE. 1 I . 'But are you sure he married her toe her money f "Absolutely-tve seen herl CONSTANCY. l ',fl J '., I I J7 V. 0 You say you can't live without me, Jack. Supposing- I had not been born for another fifty years " f should have waJtedl" r Woman's Voice J There Is a witchery In a Woman's voice capalbe of confounding, conjuring and con verting the world. One often thinks that Esther, pleading for her people, had more melody and feel ing In her voice than beauty of body; that Mary, denying her eager lover alnce her heart waa filled with a strange new thought, must have spoken heavenly Bounds; that Portia's "equality of mercy" muat have fallen on the hearts of her hearers "as ths gentle rain from heaven upon the place beneath." An example of the educated and pre served voice is that of the great Bern hardt a woman nearly 70 years of ags. At times hsr limbs tremble with age. but always her voice Is young. It pours forth In a golden stream, tender, buoyant, allur ing, gay. It swells with passionate deapalr and rage. It sobs with grief, but always It Is young. It holds Its h Mirers fascinated. Herauae tbe voice Is the moat enduring of a woman' charm It ahould receive much more rare than Is bestowed upon It. The women of the stage know well what an important Part the use of their voice pla in the winning of their audiences. Unless naturally gifted they must study and strive continually to keep them up. to a set standard of quality. They must be ex pressive, conveying to the ears of the aud ience as perfectly as possible the spoken thought of the woman character. They must be flexible, embracing,: pure, trained to mount the scale of human emotions with surety. Almost always they must be trained. Alwaya they must be watched.' The high pitched voice so much In vogue among our clever young women Is by no means attractive or appealing. On the contrary, noise la never anything but vul gar. Therefore every well bred young girl ahould be taught to apeak firmly and with feeling. 8he may talk much or little, but If she talks beautifully her language will be to the listening world Ilk s, draught of cool, sweet water to lips parched with fever. fcew Ua ret tea. Barettea for tha hair have some practtcul Improvements. One has a little comb Uu derneath. hidden by the design, te kep thoae dreadful little short hairs in place-. Another, when fastened, forms the bsir Into two moderate sited puffs, and. one where the tongue I In two piecis wlll catch and hold the thinnest hair. Knrred lattice or parallel band des.goa replace the heavy scrolls of last year.,