THK HKK: OMAHA. AVKDNSHAY. mWJt'AKY 1HU.
If" jhe $
jne Mag
J V
V
azine
Dottie Dialogues
BT WALTER A. 6INCI-A1R.
We Conld Tell a Lie, but This ii
the Truth.
The Bee's Junior Birthday Book.
age
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I'M you ever tH a II? asked lvttle.
after had mentioned tbe rather of Ilia
Country.
"1-er-um-," T hesitated, trying te re
member If I ever had.
"Better not begin now. then." she warned
"Would you ear to refresh your memory
from tbe records"
"No-o. no-e-e," I slowly pondered.
"What Ion; no's .we have!" aha mar
elled. "1 ran t aea why you should be ao eurt
oui to know about my truthfulness"
"Or, lack of It." aha corrected.
"I don t ever expect to be president,'" I
growled.
"I suppose you aspire to head an Insur
ance company or a trust." she Insinuated.
'"Of com-!!, the presidency of the United
Ftate has ceaed to inspire the young
Anywa). by the time you reach tliglblo
age"
"Humph: Humph! I thought I waa an
eligible youna man." I Interrupted.
"Eligible tor the presidency," she ex
plained.' When you reach thai age some
strong, great and wise, woman will rule
this country.",
"And the first thing she dwi will ba to
change the wall paper of the White
House." 1 proplicided. "1 suppose you'
.ery satirically, this. (
"If my countrywomen call me to accept
the highest position of trusts In the gilt
t the people," she orated. "I will ac
ce t '-
"And I bet you won't give ba' k the gift,
either. If you follow the rule of your sex."
I remarked. ' I suppose you would be
Mother of Tour Country."
"Aunt, 1 think, would express it more
eotrectlj," she In ttjrpt.se J. sweetly.
"Huh: And in rase of a White House
wedding - I asrvil. "What thea?"
"la I suppose anything ao absurd," (he
commanded. '1 shall never"
"Kveti admitting the opportunity may
bow be lacking, the glitter of marrying a
woman president would attract the most
Irresistible. elegible bachelors," I asserted.
"And then what? Would our histories
show a hyphenated name for the say,
thirty-sixth president? Or would she In
sist on being catalogued under both her
names, tontuxli.tf tiudcnl of history into
believing she was two presidents? Or
would she be 'President Jones, nee
Minn "
"ln have tried to put off women with
such tutting opposition for centuries, but
we wti be denied no longer,", she de
claimed, i think men politicians are be
ginning to Seattle."
"Aha! a threat! ISo the womea would
hull he-off icial out of officer'
1 hat was In Washington. O. VS., mean-
ii &
Ing 'Out
wll. now
West.' " she dianrammed. "Wl
have to add 'First In the Tri
umphs of His Countrywomen.' " -
"George would be so pleased." I groaned.
If there ts a political bad egg In office
he would trust the hens to hatchet," ahe
giggled. .
That'a only one city," 1 announced.
triumphantly. "Women shouldn't be too
elated by a little success."
"Ah. but remember women are in the
majority in the eastern states where the
electoral tote Is greatest." she proclaimed.
proudly.
"What In thunder do you know about
the electoral vole?" I asked aghast.
"Whj. .they're the only votes cast to
elect anybody and not the kind where
the people vote on measures, aren't they?"
she ended a bit tamely.
"Exactly." I breathed, relieved. "You
read that other somewhere, I suppose?
Hut you wouldn't want rne to be like
Washington."
"Why not?" she queried- -
"He you'll pardon the personal nature
he married widow," 1 enlightened.
"What does that matter to me?" she de
manded, pouting prettily.
"Just like two cherries!" I murmured,
looking at her mouth. "George and I had
one similarity of taste, at least."
"And just then his father appeared,
don't forget that," she reminded, listening
for any footfalls in the hallway.
"Father forgave Mm nobly for owning
up." I added. "And then, when George
said farewell he embraced everybody in
the room."
"Are are you leaving soon?" ahe asked
shyly.
(Copyright, 1911. by the N. T. Herald Co.)
Pitfalls in Portuguese
j should call on you i discu$s any- VH
AT YOUR HOME WOULD V THING IKUTlvn . -
11 BM AGREEABLE TO TOU JTI "TO MISERY 1 , ?
TO DISCUSS A MATTER tv IWiTH SOME (
THAT MIGHT INTEREST A. U f f ONE M Ml$f )
YOU AND I KNOW Will, At ERY'lWUL v
Bt OF GREAT BENEFIT VvXV Vi EAK.OyT! fc. (
TO BOTH OF US MISEK1 uiV--Vj 'm
VUOVES COMPANY J U cfe A
' T ' As-s;
ah1 YoiTArwlTNnjfT X? fin.. m-Hti
Vi'Tx GENTLEMAN, I BE DON'T GO r Ky JbuSY TODAY)
W J-LIEVE 1 WROTE UwAY NO rH IN A
I xT VQ ABOUT HAVING WAIT A J JHURRY' n
r X (A LITTLE DISCUSS iECONO'l frH- NO TME .
s4vOm A Top,c wn merely W fessi
I PTN 1 THINIQ CONCttoi WANT TO H
K hY I US BOTH' AHEM' HAVE A LIT t I r
JrSflR Hj J 1 AM SOMEWHAT VJJlJ&UV '
V-tT-T'C XlKJ-t N THE SAME I fe$;:?:f iVS
( XT YOU KrVOWMls J, X f StE l7YlsTrfrAi V (noJTlT)
ERY LOVES COMfvA n t A-CfOU HAVM GREAT WO R -J Z IL !Y-?U
lONSHlP' I KNOW jB W RI.TWT? lS?HE.R
AMY THING THAT J- K A WU- ME '1HATS I lSgfij
Will REL.EVE Youf V blE. SiRj 1.1 W'A
OF THAT VAUSEyO&l
SHOULD RELIEVE S.C:: ztiSY?!
YOU OF A GREAT) fr t (& utrMyCi
EflMi2 lliiISii i WlJ ,1 jllii
fuUo on A f5usTXs ToTIJnle XtT
SECOND! I &tj5'X KbunIonJ fojRE as V-'L
JUST WANT y? y3 A NTEPS W ?
Lfew KQRPyf: jyp away- rf T ( Ls.
v S , A Ir5" ; 71 SI LAS r,z rp f,M,,,f -ttf -i
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MART PFA-IXK,
2l"i 'atrk-k' Ave.
chri.t-s morAi:.
T17 North Thirtieth.
Wednesday, February 22, 1911.
Xanif and Aalrraa. School. Year.
Georgia Astleford, 2734 South Ninth St tsencroft 1100
Violet A. Blackmore, 2212 Mason St .' Mason ,1908
....1104
....1103
liior to IJorni(ial who observed local
; ;s lorl.v writes InterestinRly to the
. . udtlpi.ia. Inn ulrer about the things that
i 1; him a qiieor. It af.pears the Kng
i .(., iaklnd peroti in Portugal who thinks
! ),-. language anil tries to speak In
l . i.ii-us of the country Is a great
; I t producer.
i v.- Instance, you aver marry anybody in
1 i. usal, unlMis strsnite paradox you
1 apt-cu to be a pH?t. You marry "with"
j . ir b loved Maria, and the priest mar
1 1, s j ou both. In the .ame wsy, you never
tin am about anybody, but always "with"
When the landlady ai your Krami noiiiw
lad:inc out your soup, you call out. "Ar
rive." You are tellins ber to arrive at
the stopping point; Jn other words, that
you don't want more than she has put out.
When you see a child that you want to
fondle at the other side of the room, you
aay to ber. "Arrive here." and the child
promptly 'arrives.-' When we speak of
walking, we refer to a certain use of the
legs; but the Portuguese verb "to walk"
baa many more significations. In Portugal,
not only do the people walk, but also the
trams walk, the train walks; a balloon
walks, and a boat walks, ftranger still,
the handa of the clock walk around the
face! A clock, by the war. never goes; it
works.'
I'nleea jrou are very intimate, or very
rude, you never say to your fair partner
at dinner. -Will you have some bread, some
wine, etc?" You Inquire, "Will your excel
lency have some bread V or, "Will the lady
have soma bread 7"
In spite of the winter you are never cold
In Portugal, unless you are a corpse. You
are "with" cold. In the same way you are
entertainment, you tell your companion
that it "makes" dark.
If In speaking; of her husband a wife
says he is a "tame" man, she merely means
that be is a man of peace and justice.
The word "house" m4ns more than with
us. Your buttons share your own privilege
of living In a house. The button holea are
called "houses" of the bottons. The square
on a chess board are also "houses."
You don't say. "I'm going to shave."
You say, ' I'm going to 'do' the beard."
Neither do you aay on the way to . the
barber's, "I'm going to get my hair cut,"
but you say. "I'm golog to cut my hair."
W hen you are in Portugal you have I
twenty lingers, but no toes. If you want
to make a distinrtion, you aay. "Fingers of
the hand,' or "Fingers of the foot." In
stead of telling, the servant to eet the table.
you tell her to "put" It. When you go to
the theater, you "as.- 1st " You mean that
ou are there.
Residents In flats who meditate taking a
holiday in Portugal will be relieved to hear
that no one plays the piano there. They
merely "touch" it. Neither do they ring
the bells. They "touch" them also. But
they "play" stones, meaning that they
throw them; and a ship at aea "plays"
when It pitches and tosses.
Be careful how you tell your landlady
that you Intend to dine out. or ahe may
think that you Intend dining "outside," I. e..
in the garden. In answer to the kind In
quires of your friends, don't say that you
are well; say that you are "good."
A "sleeping" bridge means a bridge that
bi Immovable mot a draw-bridge). Stag
nant water also 'sleepa." So do trucks or
trains that wait anywhere during the Bight.
kmm of AliOELIGA1
ClSS H Ii Wl. ,-'
!hf To UtmiA I
! When they laugh In Portugal they "untie
occasionally "with" heat, "with" headache, themselves to laugh;" and when they cry
lth" hunger, or "with" thirst. When
ou hse occasion to discuss the westher.
you say. Ii makes' cold." "It 'makes'
fog. etc." tin your way home froni an
they "unmase thnuflvee la "tears."
A persistently unfortunate man says. "I
s so unlucky that If I Ml on my back I
should break my nose!"
You know Agnes la my dearest friend. 1
She always tells me everything well, al
most everything and I always tell her
everything well, almost everything and
we made a compact that we'd never flirt
with each other's men, that is, the men
! we really liked and whom we had reason
to believe liked us.
Well, of course, I don't care a lot about
Johnnie, and goodness knows be probably
doesn't care much for me why should he?
;I think I'm awfully homely. Sometimes
at least I think I am by that mirror over
the mantel piece In Cousin Anne's room
but I should have thought Agnes might
have seen that I liked him a good deal,
and that he waa crazy about me, and not
made such an idiot of herself that night.
Why, the way that girl behaved waa sim
ply disgraceful.
She bad on that black and gold gown
that is made la such a way it doesn't look
as though it had anything to It but a hem.
from a little distance. She sat beside
Johnnie on the sofa and I must say I waa
suiprlae at even Agnes I heard every
word she said and, although she only
talked about the Meek mans' theater party
and the weather, she did it in a regular
sneak way.
Oh, I can tell. There is a way of aay lug
"It's cold tonight," that means "I think
you are too attractive for anything!" 1
was standing by the piano with Archie. I
had on my blue and silver dresa that Is
made In such a way yob can only see the
stitches where the hem ought to be. and
when I heard how she was talking 1 said
to him : "Is It raining thia evening?" In
a way mat meani i love ou mauiy:
A
1 4
I THINK
I'M AWLFL'LLY
SOMETIMES."
HOMELY,
Catherine N. Deal, 5S23 Florence Boulevard. ...
Ruth Brinapr. 2924 North Twenty-fifth St
Russell Bruce, 2802 Franklin St
Orval Barber. 2104 North Twenty-ninth St
Lillian Craifr, 2818 Hamilton St
George Covert. 591 Florence Boulevard
Clyde Cochran, 2521 Grant St
Charles Clarey, 2009 Center St
Mary M. Devine, 2506 Patrick Ave
Melvin F. Davies. 2863 Kansas Are Monmouth Park...ll
Charles F. Dugdale. 717 North Thirtieth St Crelghton 1897
.Miller Park.
. Lothrop ...
.Long 10J
.Long 1901
.Long 1895
.Miller Park 1904
.Lake 1900
.Castellar 1901
.Sarred Heart 1904
Marie Elliot, 3S56 Chicago St
George Ederer, 2904 Bristol St
Vera Fisk. 1111 Dominion St
Frank Fox. 2526 Hamilton St
Percy R. Gunner, 2521 Franklin St
Cordia Htnes, 2904 Erskine St
Dudley Hamilton. 1723 North Thirty-Becond St Long I
.Saunders 1901
.Sacred Heart 1905
.High 1896
.Kellotn .....1897
..Long 1900
..Howard Kennedy ..1895
. .1896
.Windsor 1908
.Monmouth Park.. .1896
.High 1893
Central Park 1905
havlor at times, and if ahe is going to
carry on like tbet with Johnnie I shall flirt
with Archie.
She's awfully keen about him and thinks
he'a very much in love with her. though
privately I can't ee It. I believe if I gave
him a chance oh. well, of course, ha may
prefer her. Agnes is pretty good looking,
though I don't care for that kind of a
figure niseif.
The day after she had behaved so out
rageously she came around to ee me and
actually had the nerve to say, jokingly,
she had noticed how I had flirted with
Archie the night before. She said be was
such a nice boy. She said: "Mr dear, for
that my room looked lik a chorus girl's.
1 told her that perhaps It did, but hers
Agnes netdn't think 1 Jon l notice her be- generally looked the same way, except that
1 ft
I. WsSMl by me
goodness sake, why don't you play around
with htm a little? I'm sick and tired of
him, and the poor fellow naturally feels
pretty blue about It. I'd be really obliged
to you if you'd be kind to him and take
him off my hands a. little." j
I grinned. Who would have thought I
could get such a rise out of Atnes! I
guess she's deeper than I thought. She
was iiv my room and I will admit it looked
a trifle upset. One can't change one's
clothes in an awful hurry a number of
lim-s and have one's surroundings look
immaculate. I tried to fix It up a little
by putting some shoes and slippers behind
the door, but found I had already put some
hata there. I was trying to think of some
thing neat to say to her in regard to her
actions' with Johnnie, when she observed
hers waa more like a real hard working
chorus girl's.
She said coldly that she thought a pitch
fork would be of great assistance to me
and offered me ten dollars for my lavender
satin dresa that cost a hundred and twen-
i ty-flve that she had Just fallen oyer. 1
elmply looked at her.
I said, although I was a little hard up
and she knew It, I wasn't quite as easy
as that. I said I wss quite willing to make
a little money, however, and I bad re
ceived an invitation the day before to Mrs.
Vanderbllllon's dinner, and I would allow
her to look at it for a dollar and smell It
for two dollars. She said, thank heaven
she hadn't been asked, as dinners like that
tired her to death. I told her they were
going to dunce afterward and she could
have had a good rn 11, en.
We haven't spoken since.
Georgte M. Hopkins, 3110 Vinton St..,
Mary A. Hlland. 33 43 Grand Ave
Paul Huntington, 2614 Pierce St
Theodore R. Howard, Thirty-seventh and Fort 6ts
Edmund Hareld, 2214 South Twenty-eighth St Franklin 1898
Floyd Happy. 3722 Manderson St Central Park 1901
George W. Jerpe, 1825 Spencer St Lothrop 1900
George Jacobberg, 850 South Twenty-third St Cass 1901
Clara Kelly. 1232 South Thirteenth St Comeuius ........1899
Mona I. Kiddle, 2214 North Eighteenth St Lake 1902
George Kubatha. 3124 South Second St Bancroft 1898
Charles Kenneth Collier, 4304 Erskine St Columbian 1901
Mary O'Brien, 4217 Fowler Ave.... Central Park. .... .1905
..Lake 1899
..Webster 1904
..Park 1904
. .Keilom 1900
. .Farnam 1899
..Webster 1903.
. .Pacific 1903
..Forest 1898
..Forest ...1900
. . Saunders 1901
..Walnut Hill. 1895
. . Mason .1899
..Lothrop .k 1902
..Keilom 1897
..Pacific 190J
. .Saratoga 1900
..Howard Kennedy. .1898
..Howard Kennedy. .1904
. .Cass 1896
. . Long 1901
. . Leaven orth 1904
..Sherman 1900
Gunhilda Olsen. 2519 Miami St
Vera Peterson, 2813 California St
RuthG. Parrott. 1328 Park Ave.
Dorothy Pierce, 1824 Sherman Ave
Clifford Penn. 2815 Dodge St ,
Willie Pompach, 2709 Cuming St.. ,
Joseph Pazderka, 1213 South Second St. ...... .
Martha Larsen. 1432 Westerfleld St
George Lynch. 3361 South Seventeenth St
Charlotte Micbaelson. 4224 Douglas St ,
Roy C. Moore, 4019 Hamilton St
Francis Minardi. 1042 South Twenty-second St.,
Orval W. Mch, 3919 North Twenty-fourth St.
Paul Miholoplos. 1406 North Seventeenth St
Anne Nelson, 1810 South Eleventh St.; .,
Eva Newton, 2509 Templeton St .,
Ralph Norton. 2524 Lake St
George A. Nelson, 3229 Maple St
Sadie Racusin, 904 North Sixteenth St
Martha Robb, 1718 North Twenty-ninth St
Dorothy Rosenthal. 849 South Twenty-first St.
George Reynolds, 1418 Browne St
Helen V. Shearer, 4507 North Forty-ftrst St'. Central Park 1902
Florence Schneider. 2510 Vinton St Vinton ...1898
Sophie Slmonoff. 1831V North Twenty-fourth St.
Mildred Swenson, 2433 Manderson St
Oust Steris, 180 South Twenty-second St
! Louis Sheef. 2311 South Seventh St
tieorge W. Samuelson, 6109 Sherman Ave
Irene Tagger. 1924 South Twenty-seventh St....
lAngaline Taylor, 2348 South Thirty-fourth St...
Bessie Trady. 4728 North Thirty-eighth St
Louise C. Thrane, 515 South Twenty-fourth Ave.
Willie Tompach. 509 South Twenty-ninth St
Leon Weaver, 1043 Park Ave
George Wazenberg. 2113 Giant St
Long 1901
. Lothrop . .
. Central . . ,
.Bancroft .
. Sherman .
. Paik ....
. Windsor . ,
. . Monmouth
.Mason ...
..Farnam ..
..High ....
..Lake ....
Park
.1902
.1896
.1900
.1902
.1902
.1904
.1903
. . . .1901
....1902
1 8 9 3
....1898
Day Dreamin'
J
J. Edward H-jngerford in Paclfie Monthly.
' Oh. a Round-up's work and a heap tih j
grif.
Ami vuh kaint make plans when yore
l:enlm" bf,
r tr,e ,),,c-coiie thinrs are a hco breed.
k.l-,11 o and they'll all stampede.
And its snoie some tough f a t-uncn gits I
fa wtd-
Old lioss!
Il lv Smoke. It's hot in this darn oid draw'
And we v.. kws'lered sand 'till our'thrnats
a re r w :
li. our muscles ache and our tonsnes kre
r .
Aeu O'.r lunv s.'e t'M uh this alkali,
but we'll git to a spring now.
Old ltos!
bye'n bye.
W- m
r
Bachelor on a Claim
I was reading In The Bee or some other the horse that can't see south whea going
when the Itound-
fcr some shore
Never mind, old Pard
up's done.
Then we'll ride to town
'nough fun;
Know a blue-eyed gal with a droooin' lash,
Who tins knocked my heart clean, plumb
tO SHIS'!!,
And she says she's fond of a red mustache,
old lioss!
FEMININE LOGIC
ill II
Oil. Ill stroke her hand, while she strokes'
; yore M1e,
I And I'll say real soft. "Won't yuh be mv
I bride?
And if she sas, "Yes," like I hnpe she'll
do.
Then sou'll hike fer the Preacher's, totin'
two,
And I bet niy spurs that we'll go some,
too. .
Old Iloss!
i Hut I'm dreamin'. Pard. fer It's this awav.
eet sals don't thrive on a cooo s
i ley:
I Asl a pent like me with Ms forty per.
inn t mke much noimr ant he kamt g.t
l'r.
Willi a sweet young thing uh the like uh
her.
Old Ho.hi!
t'ome sl.ve. old Pard: lilt a swifter glt:
1'er weve bufed a heap and us gntin'
late;
',' t a to v and nn. hills to climb,
An,l to day-dream now Is a low-down
crime.
l-'ti i her.-a beat) uh work durm" Round
up time.
Old Hoes!
"A woman Is always ilk fica!"
Alay. she will expect ) ot
to rerrrrrber her binhday but
u.u ber 14.4.
II..M-hHl4 IV.aaHilr..
To prevent accidents In the kitchen f:
the kerooeiM .to with water.
To stop leat.s la pioes send a burry-up
f x the nesret plumber.
1 To -orionilLe on coal set a gas-racse
To test t rriin' of drop on hard I
-...fa-e. J
i.. rr.(.ti is te ike jaibiut tea oaa t Ae i
ilf Steffi
v If M 4XJ
M ; ' J
'WW w
Mm,'
rm
el'r about a burglar breaking into the
jail at Warrior Run. in Pennsylvania, and
robbing a lone prisoner of I'J and It cents.
And then 1 thought how much happier a
fellow is even on a South lakota claim In
winter thn If he was In jail. Sometlmea,
on gloomy days, I used to Imagine this
cUitn holding stunt wua a good deal like
bir.g in Jail. Now I know different, for If
a burglar came alonv; he'd be wasting his
time. I'd make him stay oxer nlpht and
give him a good, strong doie of fat pork
aiid biscuits you must eat quick before
they get luavy.
We do have some fun. though, that
ould ticVIV- the jfy living chaps of the
Omaha Gun club or the Rod club, vith T.
One of my near neinhUirs. wlio lives four
ar.d a half miles south over the "rise." ia
tl.ey call u big eradi: here. told me the
other day about going prowling one day to
kee what he could discover in the way of
a nice, gentle cow animal. tie :i.t one
that locked as if lie riiiant do, although
she waHii't much on looks at that. Next
day he started home, when another mill'
lover Inveigled him into a trade, to uve
traveling lilmscif. As a result Hi) friend
got a blind horse, an old democrat wagon
and a mil! bunch of hens, and he was the
tickl dett man that ever drove home. The
horse wss quite active and strong an4 bit
a hole In the manger the first day. so my
fru lid made up his mind to trade lilm off
in the sprlnR or toonrr. Having no use
for the wetton. he first traded that for
five hens, a farmer's pair of ss'lutes ami
a lejii.T watrii t hain wltb a picture of
lig Hill Taft on it. i
Then one day his watch lost time and
he gt a hankering for an alarm clock
tliat would wake him up to keep his fire I
going on cold nlKhts; so lis traded thir-
teen hens (or an old )ecimen of tne nol-
t!nvkecr and got a pair of shoepacks
ll.rown In tliat nine hungry dog iad bitten
the !-irji off. -o he had to buy tiimM-lt
eoT.e more li. ns liv:ng a tiun'.-r for borne
nia.'i ese coming on la-nt. and the prise
beu of the bnnrh (lie ounget, turned cut
to be a Uif'ia' rwater. but be SUU baa
ajt, and he tells me lie is going to trade
him off for a cow yet or get arrested
trying.
Rabbits are good now, and we are getting
a little snow, so I will t'll you about a
hunt we aie planning for neit week. I
mlts Omaha all right, but I have plenty o?
room to sleep and move around here, and
put in time sharpening my plow. Flap
jacks give me some worry on frosty morn
ings, but I eat "em raw If I have to. That
girl isn't married yet. IBAAC.
Ash Creek Line.
'tested aad Testy.
Walter Oafs the hot whlfky. sure, but
1 reckon It Isn't hot enough. v
BifkiiiB How tr.e devil do u know?
Have you been tasting it?
Walter No, sare. never would I take that
liberty. 1 on'y try It wit' my finger.
SORRY, ANYHOW.
ill
uwaH
"To-morrow 1 am goiris; awww
you aorry ?"
'Ve. I hcd.roojkvci.f-ric