i, i.n.
The ec fne jagazire p)a
llic Bee's Junior Birthday Bool'
Her Husband's Voice A Little HomilL on the Delicate Art
fir AMKRK MAN. 01 MQppinj.
F
III y ' . .v s. S V III I I I I III kTV Tl S I I
14
V a
(
"pnn't you want m to mrlt It flown for I
you?", .asked the Amalrur Wife, as she I
stnr.d In -the doorway of her suburban
home1.
What tnrV the Pot Graduate Husband
akel. "I'm not so addle brained that I
enn'f remember yon want pink ribbon. Be
sides," b added mournfully, "while a man
may aubmlt' socrelly to the Ignominy of
doing hi wife's shopping, he doesn't want
to have documentary evidence of his shame
found on hh-n if he should happen to drop
dead." , . .
"Now, you know I have a headache and
can't " gn myself, ". protested His Wife.
"And I've never asked you to shop for me
before! Are you sure that you can re
member 1 1 want five' yards of pink satin
rtbbnn - about three and one-half or four
Inches wide. I simply have to have It If
T'rd gnlrig to thst reception to-morrow."
."Why. of course. I'll remember It!" Her
Husband answered, and then hearing the
warnlnsr whistle of his approaching train,
he sprlrted for the station.
It was 3 o'clock In the afternoon before
he thonerht -of Mte fdnk ribbon again. He
had been oitt tfr lunch with an old school
majo tfitta'up st'ole and In pleasing: remin
iscences of how one of them had received
the. hljiJk school medal for elocution and the
ether, had stolen the preacher a wig, they
had passed twe deliKlitful hours. But upon
ntretnrh to the office a croquettlsh pink
tow ,11. th,e telephone operator's ruddy hair
remlortlilm of wis wife's commission.
' Ho'jtrlttcfl hi teeth, put on his hst and
rallied torth to.a large dry Roods estab
llxhment aero, the square.
Th -War doors swung wide, and as the
Prtst nradirate Husband crossed Its stately
scente4 . threshold he realised how. men
must have felt when they lifted their eyes
to the' fatal sentence: "All hope abandon,
ye who enter here!' '
Women, crowding around bargain coun
ters. Jostled him cut of the way.
, Idle, saleswomen, adjusting lead pencils
In. their-towering- coiffures, stared super
ciitousiy. ' -I'
. A. burly person, whom he suspected of
being the. store detective, seemed to be fol
, lowing him about.
"WhferdiJ ou boy ribbon 7" he asked In
a sudden panic, and the young duchess he
addressed stopped . chewing gum long
enough, to say with a pitying smile:
"At the ribbon counter four aisles over
. and tw to the left then ask the floor
Jwalker."
It wa that jur some similarly cabalistic
utterance, for at this point the Poet Grad
uate Husband's' recollection begun to be
distinctly vague.
Hs followed the Instructions he had re
ceivedor at leust he thought he did and
wound up .at the women's hosiery depart
ments ..;'
" A commiserating saleswoman gave him a
rtew whjch led him to a .bargain table of
crockery. ,
. At last in despair and disgust he turned
'toward 'Vhe front door and on his way
. there' .perceived , a hundred shades and
varieties' of ribbon fluttering from the bat
tlements of the ribbon counter,
.tmniedlatbfy the' alt Tsarinas who
sided .there .became studiously unaware of
, Ills-- existence. They seemed Instinctively I
to know that ha had not been trained in
Contentment a
-How -greMt a boon to-human Ufa Is con
teptioont? And lucky are they who have
cqiire It and who show the repose of
manner'whlr'h proclaims the acquisition to
a Jaded world.
In this latter ' day struggle for wealth.
power' and greatness of all degress, the
beautiful repose and simplicity that char
aclxHsea our distinguished forepareiits has
been trampled under foot.
:Xhe old , I asliloned chivalry for women
and the, courtesy that was shown In the
home life to one another: the love and pa
tience that were given to the wants of old
people, and tfie strict modes of bringing
up ihe t jilldri-ji Uoq. strict, modern mothers
inuy,. HvlnkJ, made the lust generation one
of mighty fine men and women, say I,
while the . results of today's teachings are
atlll (decidedly problematical.
However, this iky be, contentment seems
to have been Uvtt In the evolution of the
passing !yeat a, , and no reward has been
offered we.tliy a consistent search for It,
more s the pity. -
Uut the men, women or children who
have caught ' glimmering shadow of It
"are a continnaL feast to their friends, who
Lo the Pure
vSi ' nvany -or our Interesting American j New Kngland conscience mounted-In a life
fiuina have met' wlih extinction that 1 feel : llko way on the crotch of an ancient elm,
like ent-ring a plea for the 1'uritan. We moulting In the glass case of a museum?
think now with regret of the long-gone We drop the tear of sentiment Upon the
bison herd, c harging In a cloud of dust ' Indian now that he Is not near enough to
upon the unwary western traveler and ef-j return our courtesy with the tomahawk
fecttialrV'preveuting his ever writing a buok let us now call a meeting and weep for the
tn travel. '.We could aliiioct weep when we I Puritan. So scarce Is the pure Puritan be
sre thk terror wired into some ' wayside j coming that the next generation may feel
lark.
Shall
we. nut shed a few of the unwept
t.;ai s w,e1. t ad reserved tor tne minaio w nen
we view the last of the Turltans analyzing
the bars of liu .cage at the moo? Or when
we gaie i in th stuffed specimen of the
. .
i i - - j -1 n i
WHAT SHE SAW
."So Maud is engaged to Wilhc
I wonder what in the world she
aw in "him?"
' Hcr U( Cfincc probabJyl-
the proper deference exacted by Cxarlnes.
Indeed, he suggested the dangerous form
of anarchist that believes young queens
employed to sell things should make an
occasional effort to do so.
But he succeeded at last In engaging the
somewhat contemptuous attention of the
youngest an most susceptible of the
crowned heads and stated his wants.
"How many yarda?" drawled the fluffy
haired saleslady, and at the words all Hhe
Post Graduate Husband's fine assurance
crumbled. But it was not In him to admit
to this haughty person that he did not
know.
"Ten yards." he replied loftily, "and will
you hurry It along, please?"
"How wide?" Inquired the relentless
young t'rarlna. ,
"How wide does It come" temporised
the Post Graduate Husband.
"Oh. any where from a quarter of an
Inch to a quarter of a yard," replied the
girl.
And a Iowager darina standing beside
her giggled appreciatively. V
The Post Graduate Husband flushed, his
brow lowered, and he said In firm and Icy-
accents:
"Give me ten yards of each kind!"
"Milk or satin ribbon?" pursued the In
quisitor. Dut this time the shopper had his answer
ready.
"Half of each." he replied, . And If the
bill for IT. 80 surprised him he gave no sign.
"I know you forgot my pink ribbon," the
Amateur Wife said accusingly as Her
Husband entered the hallway of his home.
"Forgot your pink ribbon!" he exclaimed.
"Here It Is. Of course, I remembered the
kind you wanted," he added plaintively,
"but I thought I'd bring you some of all
kinds. There's nearly $8 worth of ribbon
In that package every variety of pink rib
bon there is. That ought to last you for a
while. Won't It?"
"It'll last me for" the rest of my life,"
His' Wlft) answered wearily, "But," she
added with an effort at enthusiasm, "you
did splendidly and It's simply perfect ex-
pre-'cept that Its all too wide or too narrow
and It's Pot exactly the right ahade of
pink." . '.
(Copyright, 1911. by the N. Y; Herald Co.)
Boom to Humanity
J
wonder why that borne la So delightful'
to visit; why the beauty of the faces of the
Immates la so elusive; why the atmosphere
Is so reposeful and uplifting that all their
cares and woes betake themselves to the
background of forgetf ulness while they are
enjoying their hospitality. Certainly It Is
not wealth or palatial surroundings for
the home is guiltless of either, perhaps, but
the hidden secret Is contentment and re
pose, and this no man can buy. It Is
something that comes from within and re
quires the most vigorous cultivation that
enlightened mentality can give It.
After carefully weighing In the balance
the fancied desires of this "hurry up" age
and seeing how little real happiness they
create for others, look within and find for
yourself contentment with that which may
be earned on six days of the week and
rest on the seventh.
Devote It to the enjoyment of nature
and the arts. Fill It with the music of
gladness, the sunshine of love, the while
light of truth, the brightness of hope, the
tenderness of charity and the strength of
faith, and marvel not at . the result . of
the discovery, for lo! It Is the Kingdom
of Heaven within you.
Puritan!
a few salt drops brimming to their eves
when some wintry day thy see the bluff
u. n-couniry tarmer sieigning to town,
1 tucked in a rare warm robe of Puritan
j hide the last of his race, sluln by American
laughter, the cruelw.t weapon ever aimed
II I hrother s breast!
j Why not grant this rock-wailej field of
New Kngland to the Puritan for his reser-
iVallon a mental reservation, perhaps but
j always a happy hunting ground for him
and his conscience, before he .and It, too,
niret'wllh extinction In the flashlight of
humor? 1
Daily Health Hint
J
One man claims that his good health la
mainly attributable to the fact that h
keeps his head cool and his feet dr..
W l.e tilrl.
j "Henrietta." said the sern-faced father
' in a tone that scintillated with sarcasm.
' I hut young man Grinsum has been here
I lhre nights in succession, snd he does not
go until mid
night and after. 1 think you
nvlte the fellow; to bring his..
i bad better In
trunk and make his home here
! "oh. you dear pupa!" cried, the girl,
j with Innocent Jo'- "May 1? Oh. won t that
he lovely! It was Just what he wanted, but
he was too bashful tn ask ou. Oh. but
won't he be just too delighted when I tell
him this evening"'
Ana be was not Lipplncott a.
' (Tpo7vr HfitTGHrTlG71 ome ) (Y ' " or) fit, it will)
IrOft THE FfOCEOF A, DRINK! l MEAW .RIGHT MSECTINS fOGS etF GOOD
VTS 1 ftA h""10 nAYWsT-lt. RJ,
iSROKC.l WVTHE COL- -t to INTO , U.j
s hV'. have 66T- f M I yi L f -s know.
f. lH(f J V Vjoli x -ItN MOM ( M I v , 1HA1 1
i - B X. FOR A . fOlclHAT 'K.Jr J I TARTWIfH
WHHiH V .I(4piDIMe! t UfiJ UM' V 1 IV1 MY RIGHT I
no ioU I I "this xrtr but i n t tl I r( I EE roR
BLOW THE HtRE W V tl: ' I THE PfficE , I
wHtEt? I I which i Lk I Ci!5!!!!yoM!tEiS-
iBTAMAinop J jyiNfi WINK. $ I 1 I II 6N
isurrx)sc!i f y m a I i tou a
v . u.a (I I I yj D-ME for
Q ll jj . ' (Y0K
hlMt 11 WILL 0RRYA-( GO AN0 6ETI JJ HAS MADE ME WOT
HURT IS WHEN AV,UtkM Mt PRINK! ON Of FEARFUL (HII TX
1 CUT INTO THE VhWhM OF 1 M BELIErfA BUT. g "raV2LsW
OPTIC NERVE! , I mN553 Vl lL VJf P 7 LtE 51
NOW. MOLD J f v head M T Ov.-'
SULL JUST C L. A V FOR A Tf JP JS
-P tjj '
Saw-him today from the top of a 'bus. 1
was so thrilled I nearly fell off the seat
Perhaps he is my husband! This mys
terlons being that I am to marry exists
somewhere and t do wish I could hurry
up and meet him. 1 should like to know
wha he Is like. They all talk of him as
a dead certainty and. naturally, I feel
very much Interested. Cousin Anne Is con
stantly saying. "When you are married.
my dear," and they all refer to the event
frequently. I said to Johnnie once that
"I MIGHT KE AN OLD MAID."
perhaps I would never marry. I mleht
be an old maid. I sort of hoped that he I
wouldn't agree w Ith me, as the prospect
didn't sound attractive. He answered me,
however, that It wasn't a bit likely. He
said sooner than let me become an old
maid he'd marry me himself. Johnnie's so
sweet. I couldn't thank him enough, be
cause he Is really awfully good looking
and would make a very nice husband. He
said not to bother about thanking him.
though. He has the most generous dis
position I can see that anil .I've noticed
that he is most affectionate. Hut to re
turn to my real husband. I first saw
htm In a restaurant about two weeks ago.
We were having supper after the theater
In the grill room downstairs, lie sat at a
table quite near us and kept looking at
me all the time. I couldn't help noticing
a little bit out of the corner of one of
my eyes. Then once I turned around to
to look at the decoration on the wall the
decorations are really beautiful in that
hotel and I accidentally happened to notice
that he was looking In my direction very
intently. Johnnie had just been saying
something very witty and I had a dread-
fill feeling after 1 had turned back again
that I must have still been smiling at what
OF COURSE NO'.
T-
Jl''
ljVj?
I a
"Does your husband smoke In
cessantly ?"
I don't know what it La, 1
don't buy if
i
J
als of Angelica1
he had said while looking at the decora
tion on the wall. Although It was a little
In his direction. I do-' hope to goodness he
didn't imaging oh., Dfit..of course he
wouldn't have dared! However, you never
can tell what men "wftl thmk. They have
such evil minds. Anyway, ' to be on the
safe side I put on a-- frightfully severe,
stern expression and leaned ' over and
talked to Johnnie as though I was verV
much in love with him. I turned around
ever so little about five minutes afterward
to look at the gown a woman was wearing
who had Just come In and couldn't help
Gentle Cynic's Musings
J
The good die young or else outgrow it.
It Is well to bear in mind that sll things
wait for those who go after them.
It is Just as well to be lenient with the
faults of those who are bigger than we
are.
It's all right to learn to say no,
has made many an old maid.
but It
Borne fellows are actually too lazy even
to brag about how they used to work.
If Ignorance were really bliss the work
would be much happier.
Adam at least couldn't lay claim to
I a Belf-niHde man
Hablea Don't (oust.
A little girl in Washington had been
hearing her parents discuss the high price
of meats and vegetables. It had been a
frequent topic at the table, and the child
has been heard to refer to "the high cost
of living" while "playing house" with the
little girls of the neighborhood.
liecently the mother of this youngster
presented the family with a bouncing baby
boy. a circumstance that greatly pleased
the child. While discussing the new
cc mcr she was overheard to say to her
brother:
"Wasn't mumma good to buy such a bW
baby when meat Is so high?" Every
1 ody's.
' Hard. Cruel World.
' Mrs. Crawford -You can have all the
; bread and butter you want, but no more
i cake.
i Willie Say, Ma. how Is it I can never
! have a second helping of any of Hie things
I I like'.' Lipptncoti s.
OH,". CERTAINLY.
She told me once she'd rather
git down in a street car than cling
to a strap, but it was different on
IU Ice."
Vi
A.
UflHWTtfflUJ
IW M.F1
seeing tliat the creature I mean the man
was still staring at me. It i simply dis
gusting the way one Is positively perse
cuted at times., Hut, gracious! -the Idiot
was attrsctlve looking! He Wd 4 splen
did figure and when e music started
again and they played that wonderful new
waits I would have loved to have bad a, look
"I COULDN'T HELP NOTICING A LIT
TLE BIT."
at that decoration again to see some more
of the details, but as the creature might
think well, I decided not to. When we
went out and were getting our wraps and
things, I peeked back through the door
way a little and he was standing up and
drinking my health. lie did look so cun
ning and silly, and as we were going right
out. and, of course, I'd never see him
again, I looked at him and smiled In
finltesimally. He was so pleased and sur
prised. After all, my smiles are my own
and If I wanted to give him a quarter of
one I could. We went out then and
couldn't help wishing I had been having
supper with him. I'm sure f would have
got on splendidly. I believe we both have
a great many Ideas in common. And today
when I was looking down from the top
of thel 'bus I saw him walking along the
street. He looked up and saw me and
stopped. 1 wanted to shout out "Hello!"
It seemed too mean that I couldn't Just be
cause somebody hadn't mumbled our names
to each other. The 'bus bumped along and
I looked back a little bit over my shoulder
and he was still standing looking after It.
turned around so quickly I nearly dis
located my neck. I hope he doesn't think
he certainly Is good looking. He had on
the smartest overcoat. It ran be very
exciting meeting people you know, but It
can be still mure so meeting people you
don't know. . ,
CRUSHED AGAIN
t
'When we are married our life
will be one long, sweet story '
'But short stones are the fashion j
fiowadaysl"
I T" K H MA' a wmm
'r $
if'
KDNA NELSON,
3614 Jones Street.
Name and AtUlrfss.
Floyd E. Allen, 419 North Fifteenth St
Goldle Alplrn, 404 North Twenty-second
Lauretta Alexander, 619 South Twentieth
Helen L. Balser, 2202 Farnaiu St
Emma M. Braun. 1120 South Seventh
Jacob Bablor, 1210 South Thirteenth St
Lester" M.' Barker, 2816 Woolworth Ave Park .......... .1904
Raymond It Cutler, 529 South Thirty-first SI Farnmn 1897
Marbel Pe Witt, 3212 South Twenty-flrst St VlnUiji s . 1900
Aana ,M. Jackaon. 4528 Burdette St
Frederick Krause, 1914 Oak St
Ernest Krause, 1914 Oak St
Joseph Koscan, 106 Woolworth Ave
Lawrence Kelly. 1845 North Eighteenth
Cliilord Llrdington, 2617 Grant St
Velma Lindsay, 2808 Miami St Howard Kennedy ..1905
Hermena Lehleiter, 3102 South Eighteenth St .Vinton 1900
Marguret Mravenec, 1234 South Fifteenth St Comenlua 1904
Ethel Rose Martls. 2425 Bristol St ....High ( . ..1896
Orville Myers. 2015 Ohio St Lake . 1902
Katherine Moran, 3814 Sherman Ave Lothrop .1896
Gretchen Mertons, 3302 Myrtle St .Franklin 1905
Ruth K. Murphy. 2046 North Twenty-first St Sacred Heart 1903
Donald F. Mattson. 1050 South Thirty-third St .'High 1893
Edna Nelson, 3614 Jones St Columbian 189 9
Ora Alvern Owen. "07 North Eighteenth St Cass 1900
SamueL,Ruth, 2303 South Eighth St Bancroft 190S
George William Rouse, 1713 Nicholas St Kellom '. 1905
Francis Rhodes, 1834 North Seventeenth St ....... .Kellohi ......... .1903
lsaa R. Silverman. 2577 North Eighteenth St. .'. v .High 1894
Charles Scherer. 1605 Frederick St. .'. .Bancroft . 1901
Pearl Smith.; Thirty-sixth and Fort Sts Central Park 1904
Raymond C. Schroth, 2403 North Twentieth St Lake ...1903
Bernlce SollK, 1820 Clark St ...Cass . . ...... ..1898
Earl Smith, 2564 Manderson St Lothrop,... 1903
Fred Schultz, 3610 Hamilton St ..."...Franklin .1899
Pearl Smith. Thirty-sixth and Fort Sts Monmouth Park . 1.1904
Ben Shurtleff, 823 South Twenty-fourth St
Nick Varrlan, 2421 South Twenty-fifth St..
John E.jVon Dorn. 3027 Marcy St
Rose White, 985 North Twenty-fifth St....
Helen Wlsler, 4679 Leavenworth St
Ruth Wibllshhauser, 2702 Corby St
Marie Warthen, 2705 Chicago St
Fortunes in Chicken Farming?
' "I aWl" ho chicken," remarked the Wife,
pensively; "but if I were, I could get the
parlor furnished. It needs it badly, but
Tom Is. not. Interested In the least. To be
a Rhode Island Ked is the only way to
Tom's pocketbook."
The Spectator, writing In the Outlook,
says he has Deen staying wun a cousin
who, - in the expressive neighborhood
phrase. Is "chicken crasy." This state of
mind Is usually that of an early period
of the pursuit. Yet, though he has not
been at. It a year, the first fine, glorious
flush of hope Is Inevitably over, and he Is
beginning to look realities in the face.
As for his wife, she has been looking them
in the face from the beginning, for, as
she complains, "all her pin money has been
sunk . In pin-feathers." It Is, Indeed, an
eloquent fact that never, even In his most
enthusiastic moments, will the man show
his account books or discuss expenses.
Since visiting in chicken circles, indeed,
the Spectator has ceased to wonder at the
price of eggs.' In the first place, there Is
the modern housing of chickens. Years
ago the chicken coop was a simple affair.
Any old box, turned on end and slatted,
was good enough for a hen and her brood,
and any old shed did for a roosting place.
The chickens often roosted all over the
carryall, In fact; whereas today the carry
all Is an automobile and the chicken coop
a serious structure. It keeps the four
winds of heaven from blowing too roughly
Protecting the Pig
Judge S. T. Wilson, of the Court of Civil ,
Appeals of Tennessee, has subscribed to I
the doctrine that "Pigs Is Pigs." He has, j
In fact, written a Judicial sequel to a
noted little book on the subject. In a rc-
cent decision the Tennessee tribunal de -
elded that a hog is an animal and not, ;
per se a nuisance, any more than any j
other animal.
It was In the case of J. H. Kulghum ;
versus the town of Bolivar. It appeared
that Mr. Kulghum had been before the I
mayor on a charge of keeping hogs within1
the corporate limits or the i lty.ln violation
of a tit y ordinance. I
Mr. Kulghum represented to the court
that his liogs werer clean, sanitary porkers,
and that the lot was In a perfectly sml
tary condition. Uut thereN was the law
saving that hogs were a nuisance and fix
ing a penalty for violation, so the chief
executive of Hollvar assessed Mr. Kulguhm
a fine of $".
The case was appealed to the circuit court
and there a Judgment was rendered against
the owner of the shoats. The next appeal
was to the court of civic appeals.
Cpon its final analysis, said Judge Wilson.
Wisdom aad fully.
The man who's always happy
Is envied as a rule;
Xoiuetimca he's a philosopher
And sometimes he's a fool
Tills life's like parlor magic
And oftentimes the fun
Ix-pends uion not knowing how
'jiie various tricks are done.
Though knowledge is most precious
It isn't near so bad
To be unlearned and happy,
As te be w ise and aad.
February 7, 1911.
School. Vear.
. . . .t'ass ............ .,18 ! 4
. , . .High ... 1H95
....Leavenworth .....1901
St.
St.
Central' 1899
St .Pacific 1897
Pacific 1904
Walnut Hill 1904
Vinton-, 1900
Vinton 1900
Train ,1903
St Holy Family. .... .1899
1-ong 1903
Mason1
. . . .1904
. CasUllar
.Park
.Central
. Deals . .
,. .1903
.1901
: 1901
..1899
Kennedy. .1903
,1893
Howard
High ,'
upon ' the thoroughbred ' Inmates, while
glass or muslin screens regulate the tem
perature and ventilate the. place. ' The
roosts arc almoBt cabinet work, the floors
of concrete and the furniture, In the way
of trap nests, water fountains, - hovers,
etc. all listed In the catalogues at repre
hensible prices Is palatial.
"The Incubator rellev.es the hen from all
home cares, to exploit her In the business
line," says the wife. "There really' ought
to be a Hens' union.-- with .'tak to the
nest!' for Its motto. Think of those lovely,
entrancing little yellow chicks their own
little chicks and they never' get one of
them under their wings! And half the tiny
chicks die, too at least Tom's do.
"Why Tom's brain Isn't addled by read
ing poultry books I ilon't . know. They
are his favorite works of fiction, and each
one contradicts the other and is more
sensational than the last."
The mature heroine does not exist In
this class of farm-yard fiction. From the
egg to the market the modern hen has
but two years allotted to her span. As a
pullet In her first winter she Is cherished
and admired, but after her second sum
mer, having run her little" race from
debutante to dowager,, she Is either fat
tened for the table or sold-off to the un
wary novice who Is locking for thorough
bred stock. The days of the mother hen,
.the comfortable, Important creature aur
louutied by the chirping broods, are over.
j
closing his opinion, the use resolved itself
Into a question of whether the ordinance
declaring hos a nuisance was reasonable.
The court held that It was unreasonable,
Hugs Hie animals, said the Judge, and If
one animal Is a nuiburu e per e, it follows
that all are. Man Is an animal, he said,
and would therefore be a nuisance.' The
Jud;e udded that many men are iinmitl-
gated nuisances, but that -such exception
did not make a'general rule,
HIS LITTLE JOa
Boy, has the cashier. told?yoa)
what you are. to do In. the. ftftegj
noon?"
'Yes, air;' I ara to wa'kehtnsffa